Posts Tagged bedroom
Glued to the Bed
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on June 5, 2012
Waking up with one of the sexiest men I’d ever met, Clark Kent, in my arms would make any morning spectacular. On top of that, I had no obligations to fulfill that day. It was Saturday, and I was ready to lounge around. Sure I had plans to go to the gym and grocery store, but that would wait until much later. Right then, there was a gorgeous specimen of a man in my bed, and I wasn’t going to let him go to waste.
I cuddled and snuggled with him. It was finally 11:00am when I was conscious enough to remain awake for more than a few seconds to shift our spooning positions. I don’t think there was a moment we weren’t in contact with each other throughout the night. Even when we were sleeping on opposite sides of the bed, my hand was on his thigh.
Warning: The following may be too graphic for some. When we woke, things started slow and progressed rather quickly. We were both naked before we knew it. Eventually, we found ourselves in a familiar position. I had my face buried in his backside. He always derived great pleasure from this, and I wasn’t shy about delivering. I even pulled out some of the tricks I learned in the Tickle My Tush book once again. Oral penetration eventually led to full penetration. He felt amazing, and I was not in any hurry to stop. Every thrust was better than the last, however, whenever I slowed the pace to both give myself a break and to enjoy the friction, he would protest, “DON’T STOP!” I picked the pace back up again and pushed as deep as I could go. He let out constant moans of pleasure, this time at a decent volume until he needed to stop to catch his breath.
He immediately turned over to face me with a look of exhaustion/excitement in his eyes. “Baby! You feel AMAZING!” he exclaimed. I dove on top of him and began to kiss him passionately. I told him how great he felt as well between zealous kisses. I took his legs and lifted them high and began to penetrate him again. It felt incredible. When I finally stopped, he said, “I love when you take me from behind, but this way… I dunno. You just hit the spot every time!”
We laid intertwined with each other enjoying the moment. We had great sexual chemistry. It had been such a long time since I’d shared that on top of chemistry outside the bedroom. Standard issue seemed to be one or the other as of late. CK was the full package.
After considerable amounts of cuddling, he climbed on top of me while I arched my back and gave him everything he wanted. I knew that morning my roommate’s friend slept over. I’d already heard them up and talking. I was a bit reserved in my morning romp with CK out of slight embarrassment. While I didn’t care if they knew I was having sex, I didn’t want to be overly loud about it. I buried my face in the pillow and let out my grunts and moans through a heavy down filter. When the moment hit, he pulled out and finished on my back.
Most straight women don’t understand this, but when a guy finishes on you, it can be incredibly hot, not something to turn your nose up at. It is a sign that you truly excite them. For me it’s validation, and it’s an incredible aphrodisiac. Many times, seeing a guy shoot is what it takes for me to finish as well. He asked where I kept the towels, but I was incapable of words. Only grunts came out. I tried with all my might to use my arm to reach down to my nightstand drawer, but no matter how much I concentrated, I could not move. I finally gave in and just lay there accepting defeat. “I’m glued to the bed,” I told him. “You will be glued if you roll over onto your back,” he added through a laugh. My body was in full orgasm. After about ten minutes, I regained composure and handed him a towel to wipe my back.
We rotated and lay in each other’s embrace. I was enjoying everything about him. He was witty. He was fun and adventurous. He was smart. He was incredibly sexy. Most of all he was passionate and caring. He was exactly what I needed – Exactly what I was looking for. We enjoyed the embrace for some time before he finally began orally pleasuring me – One of his favorite activities.
This time it felt amazing. I closed my eyes and concentrated on how good it felt. I imagined penetrating him and his mouth being his insides. It felt amazing. I thought about how good it would feel to explode inside of him, and that’s when it finally happened. I gave out a warning, and began to explode like a fountain. CK was greatly excited by this and took advantage. “Wow! You really weren’t kidding. Hidden talent indeed,” he added. I simply smiled and began giggling from his gentle touch tickling me.
I was so incredibly relieved. I’d finally finished with him. I didn’t want him to take it personally or worse, think I was broken. I told him early on of my issue, but he seemed to be quite understanding of it. That doesn’t mean he didn’t bring it up periodically, further stressing me on the issue, but regardless, I finished and made him happy.
We made our way to the shower, where the fun only continued. We quickly found ourselves back in bed together sans clothing or towels. We just lay intertwined for almost an hour. We’d already spent the entire morning and part of the afternoon together in bed. He was answering texts on his phone periodically and showed me a text from his mother. It mentioned being at [One Gay At A Time’s] and her reply was: “Hoboken sounds nice. Why don’t you look for a place there?” However, he told me he couldn’t afford any studios in Hoboken. I was touched he’d mentioned me to his mother and was excited he actually entertained the idea of living in Hoboken.
When my empty stomach couldn’t take it anymore, I suggested I make us breakfast. I told him to stay in bed while I whipped something up. I took some of my world-class pork and apple sausages out of the freezer, scrambled some eggs with cheddar cheese, and buttered some toast. I returned to the room to get his coffee flavor or choice and let him know breakfast was ready. He emerged shortly thereafter and joined me for breakfast. “If you’re trying to win me over, you’re going about it all the right way!” he said after shoveling some of the sausage into his mouth. This was the second time I’d heard him say this.
After we finished eating we made our way to the couch. We were both shirtless the entire morning and afternoon. My roommates and their friends came and went and we paid them no attention. We watched TV and movies all afternoon. When it was getting to be about 4:00, he admitted defeat and suggested he just stay. He wasn’t going to make any progress finding an apartment at that point, and he much rather stay with me anyway. With that, we both smoked a little and enjoyed each other’s company in front of the TV.
We ordered Mediterranean for dinner, opened a special bottle of Malbec I’d been saving for the right guy and had more of the pineapple upside down cake for dessert. We watched Bridesmaids and other movies the rest of the night. We stayed on the couch all day until we both passed out. When he finally woke me, it was 1:30am, and we made our way to bed. I was exhausted, and I’d done absolutely nothing all day long. It was some of the best absolutely nothing I’ve ever done. Every last second of it.
Follow @onegayatatimeFrom Metropolis to Hoboken
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on June 1, 2012
On April 20th, my blog turned one year old. I didn’t even realize the milestone was coming up until I looked back at the calendar on a whim one day. I felt the need to celebrate, but I hadn’t told Clark Kent about my blog yet. How could I tell him I wanted to celebrate something I didn’t feel comfortable sharing with him yet?
Instead, I celebrated privately with messages from friends and readers on the blog and over social media. I also had a date night planned with CK.
I invited him to come out to Hoboken for an evening ride on the bike since we weren’t able to do so the previous Sunday. This would be the first time he came out to Hoboken and would see my place. I was quite excited. I came home for work early after a pitch and made sure my place was acceptable.
He had to work slightly later and had to swing by home before he came over. It was a Friday night, and he would be spending it in my bed. As time passed, I sat on the couch patiently awaiting his arrival as the clock ticked on. I had no word from him. I tried calling, but no answer. Where was he? What was he doing? What was taking so long?
Since I was a little broken from previous relationships, my mind began to get creative with where he may have been or what/who he may have been doing. Finally, I convinced myself to put those thoughts out of my head. They weren’t born of any behavior he exhibited. They were simply a spawn of his presence on Grindr. I needed to learn to trust again. The thoughts were gone, and all I could think about was seeing him.
He finally arrived in Hoboken around 8:00. I wanted to watch the sunset with him. The way it reflects off the city skyline is breathtaking, however, the sun had completely set. We’d be taking a ride in the dark.
I picked him up on the bike at the PATH, and we set off along the waterfront to the palisades of Weehawken. I wanted to show him a spectacular view while taking the bike out for a spin. He’d been so excited about it ever since he first learned of its existence.
I really relished having him ride behind me. He pulled himself in tight against me. It was incredibly romantic, and I loved how he wrapped his arms around me. I felt like a great protector.
When we got to the palisades, we parked the bike and took a short stroll along the cliff. We talked while hugging and kissing each other with the spectacular NYC skyline in our periphery. We happened upon a family taking pictures of each other with the city in the background. He offered to take the picture so everyone could get in the shot. I thought it was incredibly sweet of him, and I fell for him a little more at that moment. Every moment with him made me want him all the more. Again, I wouldn’t let myself get too wrapped up in him. It was still early. I didn’t even know if he was interested in a relationship, let alone one with me.
After taking the picture, I told him about my desire to prank tourists in NYC. I would offer to take a picture of them. Just as I was about to snap the picture, I would turn as if to run. When they began to chase after me, I would turn around and snap a picture. It would give them a great experience and a fun story to tell for the rest of their lives, and they’d have a picture to accompany it. He thought this was brilliant and commented on his desire to do this himself.
That’s also when I told him about my life’s to-do list. I told him I wanted to share it with him later because it spoke volumes about me.
We made our way back to the bike and decided to grab dinner back in Hoboken. I knew of a great spot everyone had been telling me to check out but had not been to yet, Bin 14. We rode down the hill from the palisade and made our way back to Hoboken along the river.
I found a spot to park, and we walked to the restaurant holding hands. I wasn’t yet comfortable doing this in Hoboken, but it was something I needed to get over. I would be gay for the rest of my life. If I wasn’t okay showing affection in public, I was in for a lot of headaches going forward. Since we didn’t have a reservation, they asked if we minded sitting outside. I preferred it actually. However, this posed a new situation for me again. We would be street side, and if I wanted to show affection, all of Hoboken could see — Or at least that’s how it felt.
Slowly but surely, I got over this. I was rubbing his knee under the table and exchanging kisses over our meal. I didn’t care who was looking. I still felt a little self-conscious, but I was proud of myself for getting over this.
After discussing wine at length, we agreed upon a nice bottle of Malbec. It took us some time to figure out how to order from the tapas like menu. We still hadn’t figured out our sharing dinner groove, but it was fun to learn this together. I came to find we shared a lot of the same tastes and likes. It also helped we were both share quite an adventurous palette. We ordered a few plates and told the waiter we would continue to order until we had our fill.
The food was great, and the conversation was even better. I was still getting to know him, and I was mesmerized by his smile the entire meal. I was gaga for this guy. If it turned out he wasn’t interested in pursuing a relationship with me, I was going to be heartbroken. I was past the point of protecting myself. I’d already cracked the candy shell. Now, I was in his hands.
We declined dessert, and I made sure to give the waiter my credit card to pay the bill before CK even had a chance to think about it. This date was going to be my treat. I liked this new system. With all the other guys I dated, we both threw down our credit cards and split everything. This felt more like dating and more like a relationship. Each date felt special because one of us was treating the other to it.
We hopped back on the bike and rode back to my apartment. When we got there, it was already fairly late, so we headed straight to my bedroom. I was just finishing removing my shoes when he shoved me backward onto my bed. Since it was up on risers, the bed shifted to the side and collapsed. He was so scared he’d broken my bed, but I assured him it was already an issue. This had already happened with N once before. I’d already been searching for a new sturdy bed not on risers, and this would be the impetus that forced me to address the issue with much more vigor.
We fixed the bed as best we could and continued to make out. It’d been a week since we were last together, so of course we were both horny for each other. I hadn’t had sex since we last saw each other, but I wasn’t sure I could say the same for him. We hadn’t crossed the monogamous relationship bridge yet, and I had no right to ask that question yet. We’d only been dating a week. One step at a time I told myself.
Warning: The following may be too graphic for some. Regardless, we found ourselves naked, and I was grinding on his backside. Our passion was elevated to a new level, and we were all over each other. I couldn’t get enough of his body — It was purely amazing. I’d never been with someone so handsome, so sexy, so fit, so sexual. He was like nothing I’d ever experienced before.
Eventually, he reached behind himself, grabbed hold of my manhood and directed it in until I found myself deep inside him. Amazing sex ensued until we both had our fill.
I was incredibly happy once again. I had a man who could come to dinner and hold a great conversation, and a man who could satisfy all my sexual desires. He was the best of both worlds.
With that, we cleaned up and climbed back into bed. I was happy to finally be sharing my bed with him. This would be the first time in a long time my California king was being put to good use. We fell asleep in each other’s arms. He was my little spoon. Throughout the night, we changed positions many times, but never fully woke up. We slept great.
When we woke in the morning, CK had to head back into the city to begin apartment hunting. He’d been putting it off and needed to put his nose to the grindstone. We stopped for a delightful breakfast at Ganache while we got to know more about each other. When we finished, we rode through the Lincoln tunnel into the city. I couldn’t drop him in front of his building because there was a parade going up his street, so we said goodbye to each other in front of the Empire State Building. I couldn’t think of a more romantic way to begin my Saturday…
Vintage Closet
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on May 18, 2012
Before my trip to Washington DC, I started chatting with a few guys on Grindr. It was bad timing for the trip to come right after “meeting” them, but it would have to do. On my way back home, I made plans with a few guys over text for dates to get to know them.
One of the guys I was talking to was a bit older. He seemed like a great guy, and he was very interested in me. Of all the guys I started talking to, he texted the most. He seemed sweet, caring and attentive. While away, he asked how the blossoms were. He genuinely took an interest in me. He was texting me like a high school girl. I wasn’t annoyed. I was flattered. We made plans to grab a drink Wednesday evening after work.
Since Southern Drawl didn’t want to go to The Breslin, I proposed he and I meet there for a drink. It wasn’t far from my office, and it was pretty centrally located in Manhattan. We set a time, and I stayed at the office to kill time until he could make it there.
He ended up arriving early, and he texted me to let me know. I quickly left my office and speed-walked the ten blocks to the bar to meet him.
I wasn’t sure what I’d be meeting that night. From his picture, he looked like a very mature man. He had white hair, and he told me he was possibly getting a haircut before we met. I encouraged him to keep his longer hair since I liked it, but it was his hair. I didn’t know which hairstyle I’d be meeting.
I walked in to find him standing leaning against the wall. It wasn’t too difficult to pick him out of the crowd, however, he looked much older than I originally expected. I invited him to follow me to the bar and ordered us drinks. I managed to snag two bar stools just as someone was getting up to walk away.
We dove right into conversation about work. We both worked in advertising at one point, so we discussed that for a while. The more we talked, the more relaxed the conversation became. I didn’t see this conversation growing into a relationship, but he was a really nice guy. There was no reason why I couldn’t share a few rounds with a nice guy. I really didn’t think we were compatible.
Somehow we got into philosophical conversation talking about life in general. He really liked my outlook on life. I wasn’t putting on a show or anything. I was just being myself. He really responded well to this.
During our conversation, he came clean on his age and informed me he was 36. That’s how old Smiles was, so it wasn’t the issue for me. He did, however, look more like he was 42. I wasn’t sure if I believed him about his age. I wondered if he was lowballing it.
We started talking about family and his family house in the Hamptons. We got on the topic of coming out, and I told him how fresh I was to the gay world. He responded well to this and told me he was new himself. He came out to a few of his high school friends, and apparently it didn’t go well. For them, it became a problem of an identity crisis. They didn’t know who he was anymore. I told him how positive my experience was coming out and conveyed my sympathy about his experience. He also told me his family didn’t know either. It appeared I was more gay mature than he was. This was a first. This was a 36 year-old man who was still living in the closet. I didn’t think I could handle that. If he couldn’t accept himself by that age, the road was only going to get rockier as we went along.
After three rounds, the time came to go home. He expressed his desire to go on a second date, and I let on that this was a possibility. I didn’t want to lead him on and seem overly zealous about it, but I didn’t want to break his spirit. We walked to the corner and said goodbye with a hug. We exchanged a few texts after that, but obviously nothing ever materialized.
It wasn’t that late, so I decided to text M.E. and see if he wanted to come over. He did, and when he arrived at my apartment, we immediately went to the bedroom. Warning: The following may be too graphic for some. We stripped each other naked and got right down to things. There was a bit of foreplay and a lot of making out before I reached for the condoms and lube. Since being with him, I had unprotected sex with someone else. I needed to keep his safety in mind. While in DC, my results came back with no STDs and HIV negative, but I didn’t want to take any chances. We had amazing protected sex that night and fell asleep in a spooning position.
When we woke in the morning, we fooled around until we hopped in the shower. There, we had sex once again. I’m always horny in the morning, so this was even better than the night before. When we finished showering, we went back to the bed and had sex there. At one point, I even turned over and let him penetrate me. I felt I owed it to him. He was incredibly excited about it. This didn’t last long because, as he told me, he had a hard time keeping an erection after he’d been penetrated. I was okay with this, being as it’d been a long time since I bottomed.
We laid with each other, and I tried to finish myself off but to no avail. I had a dentist appointment to get to that morning, so I could no longer dawdle. I was already late the way it was. This was going to be a rough day. How was I ever going to concentrate on anything!?
M.E. gave me a ride to the dentist, and I gave him a kiss goodbye.
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Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on May 14, 2012
Things with Middle Eastern certainly weren’t leaving us holding hands skipping down the beach. I really liked him, but I never really saw the potential for a strong relationship with him. I would like to think I wasn’t leading him on. I would like to think he was well aware we were casual and enjoying each other’s company. But, who could be sure what’s going through someone else’s head?
I invited him to come over for dinner Tuesday night after work. A part of me was horny, and he is really great in bed. Another part of me wanted his companionship — Just someone to watch TV with and cuddle. He was in class and would come by a little later. This worked out because it would allow me time to make us food.
When he arrived, we immediately went into my bedroom and fooled around. We didn’t have sex, but there was a lot of kissing and groping and cuddling. He told me about his day, and I got him caught up on what was going on in my life since I’d last seen him. When we had our fill, I tossed him a pair of my shorts to put on, and we made our way back out to the living room to eat and watch TV. I learned he’d already eaten, and I made a plate for myself, and we sat on the couch watching TV.
When my roommates made their way to bed, and it was getting later, I turned off the TV and led M.E. to my bedroom. We hopped into bed and watched some more TV before we were no longer watching because other desires took over. Warning: The following may be too graphic for some. The kissing and heavy petting led to stronger desires. I grabbed a condom and lube, and we went at it. It was extra passionate this time, We were thoroughly enjoying each other. We went through many permutations of positions. Every one was better than the last. His body felt amazing, and he seemed to really be enjoying it.
I was disappointed he never finished with me, but I fully understood. I’m not quite sure he did. “I don’t know how to explain it. It’s like I have a full-body experience, but I never cum,” he expressed. I told him I knew exactly what he meant. I never brought it up myself, because I knew that was the exact opposite of a solution. In all the times I’d been with him, he never finished. He told me it was nearly impossible for him to accomplish after I penetrated him. We both went to bed that night without finishing. The sex was so great I didn’t feel the need to finish myself off. I was also hoping for some morning nookie, so I knew I would be hornier if I left it til the morning.
In the middle of the night, he did something that woke me up. I glanced at the clock and saw it was nearly four am. He began grinding against me and grabbing hold of my member. He was massaging his backside with it. When I woke, I began to engage in this activity as well. I was grinding on him until all of a sudden I found myself inside him. It was pure bliss. We both enjoyed this in the spooning position for some time before finally withdrawing and going back to sleep.
In the morning, we woke to the sound of my alarm. I had to go to work. He didn’t have any obligations that morning. As I predicted, I woke up hornier than ever. The middle of the night sex had my engine revving extra hard. We engaged in a lot of foreplay. I started orally pleasuring his backside before climbing on top of him and penetrating him once again.
This time, I did not reach for the condom. I know this isn’t the smartest. I let passion get the better of me. In the back of my mind, I trusted him. I didn’t think he was having sex with anyone else. I also know I’d done a lot to make sure I was protected with all the sex I’d recently engaged in. I had no signs of an STD and no reason to believe I contracted HIV.
We let out synchronic moans of pleasure. It felt amazing. We had lots of sex before he needed to take a break. He caught his breath as we exchanged how much we enjoyed sex together. When he was good again. He laid on his back while I lifted his legs up on my shoulders. I enjoyed looking into his eyes and kissing him while we had sex. He was pretty amazing in bed, and I loved his passion. We stopped when he needed a break again.
I didn’t want to be late, but I still wanted to continue the fun. We hopped in the shower and bathed every inch of each other’s bodies. I was still incredibly horny, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to concentrate at work if I didn’t finish. I tossed him down on my bed and pulled his towel off. We got right back into it for a bit before I withdrew and finished myself off. He was thrilled. He really enjoyed all of it, but I could see there was something else going on there. I knew we didn’t discuss the lack of protection, and it needed to be brought up. I was in a rush to get to the PATH to go to work, so I made a mental note to call him later to discuss.
He gave me a ride to the PATH, and I kissed him goodbye. When I got to the other side of the river, I’d received a text from him expressing his concern. He wasn’t worried, but he just wanted to discuss it. I explained to him I too had been meaning to bring it up, and I’m glad he did. I told him I’d always used protection with anyone else I’d been with, and he needn’t worry. I told him I trusted him, and after it happened in the middle of the night, I let my guard down about it in the morning. I told him I was going to get tested in the next few days so both of us could be certain he had nothing to worry about, and he told me he planned to go as well. He told me the last time he had been tested, and I told him mine. I had a strong feeling I had nothing to worry about with him, so scheduling a test felt more routine than anything. He’s a bit younger, so I’m sure he was worrying a bit more. I wanted to be sure to get results as soon as possible so I could give him peace of mind.
He was a good kid, and I really enjoyed being with him. I never wanted to do anything to hurt him. After we chatted over text, he told me he felt a lot better and wasn’t so worried. I apologized for putting him in that situation, and I told him we should discuss things after we both got our results back. I found it to be a very healthy conversation we probably should have had earlier, but I was happy we had it.
Letting Him Down Easy
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on May 7, 2012
Monday, I decided to be a good brother and pick my sister up from the airport. I drove her to Newark Airport early Friday morning before all of my Grindring, and she was arriving around 2:00.
Before I hopped in the car, I made plans with M.E. to meet up later that day. I wasn’t planning to tell him I knew about his Grindring from my bedroom. I was just going to keep that in mind when interacting with him. I wasn’t going to let myself fall for a guy like that. For us, it would be purely fun. He told me he had class that afternoon, but he would come meet me on the pier when he finished.
I was regretting agreeing to pick my sister up since it landed smack in the middle of my day. I wanted to head out to the pier and get some color while I was off from work. The forecast was looking gorgeous for the week, and I planned to take full advantage. I decided not to waste the morning and went for a run around 1:00. I came back to my apartment, showered and packed a bag for the pier. I hopped in the car and headed to the airport. My sister was delayed, so I spent about a half hour circling the grounds. When she finally touched down, I parked in front of her terminal and began reading my first Out magazine. I was becoming a full-on gay man. I finally subscribed to a clearly homosexual publication.
She came out, and I drove her back to Hoboken. We swung by the pier to drop be me off so I could get some sun, and she went home.
Around 3:30, M.E. joined me on the pier. We laid next to each other talking for a bit. I gently stroked his hand with mine. We weren’t being blatant or obvious, but we still found ways to show affection. It was a nice time. Around 4:30, the sun was beginning to set. The temperature was dropping, so I suggested we head back to my apartment. I wasn’t even thinking about this in terms of sex. I was just cold.
He gave me a ride back to my place and decided to come up for a bit. He couldn’t stay too long because he had plans for the evening. We ended up in my bedroom fooling around a bit. It was nice to have him in my bed again. Every time we were together, I enjoyed myself.
The time came for him to leave, and I said goodbye to him at the door with a kiss.
Over the next week, I didn’t really reach out to M.E., and he didn’t really hit me up either. When enough time had gone by, I assumed he met someone else. I was trying to get away from the relationships based on sex, so I wasn’t exactly protesting or questioning why his calls stopped.
One day I got a text from him asking me why we hadn’t been in touch in some time. I told him I assumed he met someone else. He assured me this wasn’t the case. He told me the reason he was so quiet was because he was trying to create distance. He was beginning to fall for me and didn’t want to get hurt. This is when I pointed out to him I knew he was on Grindr when he was at my apartment. I didn’t tell him how I knew this information. At first, he denied it and told me he was chatting with his friends about his spring break trip postponement. I acknowledged that, but also pointed out he was on Grindr while he was in my apartment. I told him how insulting that was to me. I pointed out how, by no means, were we exclusive, but to be on the app while sitting with me was not something I looked kindly upon. He apologized profusely. I told him I noticed he blocked me on Grindr as well. He told me the reason for this was because he saw me on there periodically, and it was killing him. He was imagining me with other guys, and it was getting to him so much he blocked me so he wouldn’t have to see it anymore. I told him I wasn’t holding anything against him, but it was shaping how I looked at whatever was going on between us.
He was completely torn up about it. I had a lot of other things going on in my life at the time, and I didn’t really feel like getting into it with him. I was partially using this as a way to make a clean break from him. I liked him and cared about him more than a one-night-stand. I considered him a friend who I also happened to enjoy in my bed. He was more friend than benefit. I didn’t want to hurt, but I also needed separation. There was too much going on in my life at the time. He begged me to talk on the phone, but I told him that would have to wait. I lied and told him I was with friends and didn’t want to be rude by taking a phone call.
I knew he wasn’t happy, and it wasn’t what he wanted. I needed to think about me for a change. I needed to put more effort into the men I was meeting and looking toward a long-term relationship with, rather than the men I just enjoyed having around for sex and a little companionship. It wasn’t fair to him, and it wasn’t what I needed. The time came to move on. How that would shape my relationship with M.E. was yet to be determined…
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Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on May 3, 2012
Another Friday, and I used up yet another carryover vacation day. This one would kick off a staycation lasting over week long. I was beholden to no schedule and no one.
Once again, I woke up horny and turned to my go-to. I fired up Grindr and began to search for someone to satisfy the animal within. When over an hour passed by and had no luck, I turned to my computer. I checked adam4adam.com for any messages. I had a few, but no one seemed to be around for the day. I cast out a net to see what was out there. I began messaging some of the guys who lived in Hoboken and the surrounding area. Some of the guys were online, many were not.
After some time, I got some responses. I exchanged messages with a few guys, but they were all preoccupied or messaging me from work on their phone. This was turning out to be a bust, and I’d already wasted hours doing this. Geez, what was I doing with my life! But, I was still horny. Rather than turn to porn and finish myself off, I continued to search.
Then, out of the blue, a guy, who had messaged me many times before, sent me a message. He was horny and looking for fun. His profile was pretty bare, which is why I’d rejected him so many times before. However, this time I was a bit “desperate.”
I responded to his message and learned he lived close by. We talked about what he was looking for. I learned he was a “hungry bottom.” He was looking for some no-strings-attached action, and I was too. I told him to come by my place.
Half an hour later, he buzzed my apartment. When I answered the door, I was a little shocked. He was much smaller than he looked in the pictures. This is not at all what I was expecting. I don’t mean to sound racist here, only descriptive. He was a tiny little Mexican boy. He told me he was 29, but he looked about 18.
This is where I go wrong. Where I should be able to say, “Sorry. I don’t think I can do this,” I don’t because I feel bad they came all the way to my place. Why is this when the nice side of me decides to show its face?
I tell him to come in and show him to my bedroom. He immediately asks me again, “Are you clean?” I reassure him of my negative and clean status. I was a little relieved by his paranoia – It made for a stronger argument that he himself was clean and afraid of contracting something. At least I knew this guy was safe.
Warning: The following may be too graphic for some. With that, he undid my pants and began orally pleasuring me. He had a mint in his mouth, and this was certainly a new one for me. Everything tingled. I’m still not sure if this was a good thing or a bad thing. I’m also still not sure if he did it on purpose, or if he just happened to be concerned with his fresh breath.
After a short while, he turned around and began to grind his a$$ in my crotch. He asked me to get a condom and lube. He was bent over the foot of my bed while I penetrated him. He thoroughly enjoyed it. He told me to keep going until I finished. “I’m here to serve you,” he added. “I want you to finish inside me.” I wasn’t sure this was a request I could fulfill. I have enough of a problem finishing without the added hindrance of the condom’s desensitizing nature. I alternated between penetration and self stimulation to see if I could manage to finish, but it was no use. Finally, with the right combination, I ripped off the condom and finished all over his back, accidentally hitting him in the back of the head with a shot. He began to spread it around when I told him I would get him a towel. He didn’t seem to mind nor need one, but I insisted on wiping what was left of my DNA off his back. He was going to find it to be an incredibly uncomfortable ride home in the car if I didn’t.
He turned and asked if he could suck on my toes. I’d never had that request live in person before, but I was game. After my toes were thoroughly bathed, while he pleasured himself to no finish, he collected his clothes and got dressed. I saw him to the door, and with that, he was gone.
I felt so disgusting. I didn’t waste one more second before jumping in the shower. Everything I did was safe, but I still felt incredibly dirty. I needed to wash the shame down the drain as well. I found myself asking the question once again, “What the f*ck are you doing!?” I decided then and there I wasn’t going to turn this into a trend over my staycation. I was going to turn things around. This staycation was going to be all about me bettering myself. I was going to eat right, relax, read, tan, go to the gym… No more was I going to call random guys for sex. I needed to move on and stop giving myself excuses.
This was a fine plan. Now I just needed to stick to it!
Follow @onegayatatimeBack to School
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on April 30, 2012
With things gently crumbling between Chelsea and I, I decided to give Middle Eastern another chance. I enjoyed spending time with him, and he certainly was a nice kid. I wasn’t sure if I could see myself dating a guy still in college, but I figured it certainly couldn’t hurt to give it a shot.
Wednesday morning while I was on my run, I did a lot of thinking. I was trying to clear my head. I realized I wasn’t all that into Chelsea after all. There were a few things about him I liked, but there was nothing there that got me truly excited to see him again. I didn’t want to waste either of our time, so I decided it was best to tell him how I felt.
While at work Wednesday afternoon I thought about him a M.E. He was such a sweet guy, he was quite interested in me, he was smart… There were a lot of great qualities there. The big question — Is he mature enough for me. I’d never dated someone that much younger than me before. I wasn’t basing this on a number. I was basing it more on his personality.
The other side of the coin was how great he was in bed. I really enjoyed being with him the first time. I fantasized about he and I having sex in the locker room shower of my gym.
When I got home that evening, I told him to come over. He didn’t hesitate. He finished what he needed to do, and he made his way to Hoboken.
Warning: The following may be too graphic for some. When he arrived, we immediately went to my bedroom. He was hungry for sex. We quickly stripped each other until we were naked and enjoyed kissing, groping, sucking, etc. It was nice to be with a man who was so passionate once again. He loved to kiss and was good at it. I didn’t have a single complaint about him. After ample foreplay, we had sex. It appeared I created a bottom. He was all about it now, even begging for it this time. It was hot. I really like how masculine he was, but also how much he was willing to bottom for me. This was an unusual combination from my experience. [I actually had to walk away from the computer for a minute because I was thinking about the fun we had and getting a bit too excited while writing this].
Afterwards, I went into the bathroom to relieve myself. I came back to my bedroom to find M.E. on his phone. He was doing a lot of typing. I encouraged him to come to the living room with me to watch TV and be somewhat social with my roommates, but he told me he’d be out in a minute. He had a few messages he needed to reply to.
Since I last saw him, he sprained his ankle. I’d been giving him some advice, having sprained both mine multiple times and being related to a physical therapist and someone who teaches athletic training. As a result of this sprain, he wasn’t able to go on his planned spring break. He told me he was working out the logistics of rescheduling the trip for another time.
I left the room and went to the living room. I’m not 100% sure why this idea popped in my head, but I wondered if he might be on Grindr. I had my phone and tablet with me, so I pulled up the app and checked it out. He didn’t show up on either. Maybe he wasn’t on there, but my suspicions weren’t fully satisfied. When about ten minutes passed, I went back to the room to see if he was coming. He put some of my clothes on and joined me. We watched another episode of Modern Family together.
While he watched, he sat behind me in the chair, and I laid between his legs watching the show. We both laughed a lot. By the time the show was over, it was late. I suggested we go to bed, and he agreed. I asked him what he’d told his roommates about where he was going. He told them he was heading home for the night.
While he was brushing his teeth, he left his phone on my night stand. My mind shot back to the chance I had to look at N‘s phone the night I witnessed him kissing another man in front of me. Boston convinced me it was a bad idea. I wasn’t going to make that mistake again. I had no problem if he was using Grindr. We were not exclusive. I was seeing other people. I just found it incredibly offensive if he was cruising Grindr from the comfort of my apartment. That was not okay in my book. I needed to know. I turned his iPhone on, and sure enough, at the top of the screen was an icon for Grindr showing he had 23 messages. I placed the phone back down on the night stand and processed what I just learned. Not only did he have messages, but he blocked me on both my accounts so I couldn’t see that he was cruising Grindr.
It was that exact moment I decided M.E. and I wouldn’t date after all. It was fine if we spent time together and enjoyed having sex, but I wasn’t going to date him long-term. I couldn’t trust him. I wasn’t mad he may be seeing other guys or even having sex with them. I was mad he was attempting to line up other guys from my bedroom. I decided not to say anything right then and there. It would simply form my future behavior.
He came back to the bedroom, and we both climbed into bed. I wrapped my arms around him and he climbed into the natural crevice I created as big spoon until we dozed off.
When we woke in the morning, we fooled around a bit. I had to go to work, but I made sure to set an extra early alarm to allow for a little fun in the bed followed by a shower with each other. It was sexy and a nice way to start my day.
We left together, and he gave me a ride to the PATH. Since he told me last time he wished I kissed him when he dropped me off, I decided to oblige that request. I gave him a nice smooch before heading into the city to start my workday. I liked M.E., but not enough to make him my boyfriend — Not after what I learned. But, it would be nice to have someone around regularly to share affection and pleasure with on occasion. Maybe this was the start of a beautiful friendship…
Follow @onegayatatimeOn A Sexual Roll
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on April 18, 2012
I have a generous amount of vacation days, as I did a very good job negotiating when I was hired at my job. I don’t, however, have friends who share the same luck. They can either take the time off and have no money to travel, or they have money, but can’t get away from work. On top of this, being single leaves me only with the option to travel – Alone. I don’t enjoy this. As a result, I build up all these vacation days and never use them.
When the new year arrives, I have until the end of March to use up all the days I carried over. As a result, I start giving myself four day work-weeks and have staycations. I decided to take Monday off after the local holiday in Hoboken. As per my usual, I woke up horny and turned to Grindr. I tried to get one guy I’d been flirting with to come to my place. He lived in the city in Harlem, so no matter how hard I tried, he was not going to come to Hoboken.
After him, I went through a ton of Grindr guys trying to find someone to come over for some morning fun. None were biting. I turned Grindr off after what I’m sure was over an hour of surfing, and hopped on the computer. I thought I would give adam4adam a shot. I had messaged a few guys, but I wasn’t getting a response. That was until I found one guy who is 26 and worked in the area.
He was a good-looking guy, as per his profile pictures. We began exchanging messages. He unlocked his pictures, and I got a glimpse of his face finally. He was a very sexy, light-skinned black man. He had this college jock look about him, and I was very turned on. His body was fit, he was clean-cut, and his smile was utterly adorable.
I asked him if he’d be free later to swing by. He had a light day at work since his boss was out of the office. We discussed logistics since he worked in neighboring Jersey City. He could either take a cab or the light rail to my place. I gave him all his options, and we made a plan for him to come by around 4:00. I learned he was usually a top, but he was willing to bottom for me. This was extra exciting to me, because I had greater hope he’d be a more masculine man than most typical bottoms.
When he arrived, I was immediately taken back by how sexy he was in his work clothes. Then I noticed his incredible blue eyes. He looked just like Michael Ealy. He was very masculine and had on slacks, a dress shirt, a tie and an incredible smile. He wasn’t nervous about this at all, which I found to be very sexy. I led him into my room, and he immediately began undressing himself. I liked his matter-of-factness — His “I know the drill” style. I sat on the bed talking to him as he undid his tie, stripped off his shirt, removed his shoes and took off his pants.
Warning: The following may be too graphic for some. The man had an amazing body. I was very pleased. I could tell he takes good care of his body, and I was ready to ravage it. I wanted to touch every inch of his milk chocolate colored skin. I was still sitting on the bed in my gym shorts and tank top when he unexpectedly took off his boxer briefs as well. If I wasn’t already excited before, now I was rock hard. He walked toward me as I stood and removed my clothes as well.
He was a well gifted man, and once we were both fully undressed, we laid on the bed with him on top of me making out for a bit. He had amazing lips and knew how to use them. He had a strong body, and I enjoyed wrapping my arms around him. It was hot! We began to fool around and explore each other’s bodies.
Ater some making out and mutual oral pleasure, he got into position for me to use some of the techniques I’d read in Tickle My Tush. I knew he was normally a top, so I took the time to make sure he was fully ready and not rush things. I was enjoying myself as well. He seemed to be really enjoying himself as well from the sound of things.
That’s when I reached over the edge of the bed to my nightstand and grabbed a condom and some lube. He was face down on the bed in front of me, and the real fun was about to begin. I really enjoyed being up against his body and feeling him. He may not have been a bottom, but he sure was passionate in the bedroom and knew how to use his body. The sex was great, and eventually he finished. Seconds after that I too pulled back and finished. It was very hot! I grabbed a towel to clean up his back and the sheets below while we exchanged a few more kisses and expressed our enjoyment with each other.
Just as he undressed like he knew the drill, he began to get dressed. I learned he was heading back to work. I was surprised because he lived in the city. I assumed I was a pit stop on the way home. I felt bad for him he had to return to the office, but I didn’t regret inviting him over. I had a great time with him and would certainly be willing to have him swing by again sometime.
I walked him to the door and gave him another kiss goodbye. He was such a polite gentleman. I could tell him momma did a good job raising him. He thanked me, to which I replied, “Thank me!? Thank you! That was great! Anytime you want to do this again, you know how to reach me.” And with that, he was gone.
In the coming weeks, we’d try to do it again, but he was having a busy week. I could tell he was more than just a hot body, so after that, I asked him if he’d ever be interested in grabbing a drink sometime, but I got no response. Perhaps he will just remain a fond memory of a day off…
Follow @onegayatatimeWinding Down
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on April 17, 2012
Although things didn’t exactly end the way I would have hoped, I had a really great time with my new uptown Grindr friend. He was a very down-to-earth, sexy man whose body I found irresistible.
I made my way home on my motorcycle only to find my apartment full of my friends and my roommates’ friends. They apparently noticed my Irish exit, but I was shocked to find none of them texted me to find out where I’d gone. They didn’t seem to care much. They were all drunk and about to smoke.
I put my helmet in my room and joined in the fun. D pulled me aside and asked if I’d gone to hook up, and I didn’t lie. I nodded my head in agreement, and he said, “I knew it!” with a smile.
My roommate immediately mentioned breaking my glass planter that sits in the window, but failed to apologize for the act. She simply pushed it into a pile, plants and all, and left it there on the floor. After sitting in the room a solid ten minutes, my friend K announces, “Where’s [One Gay At A Time]?” I responded, “Really K! How many have you had!?” We all laughed.
The previous night, I talked to a guy on OKCupid who was quite an athlete. He seemed like a really fun guy, and I was anxious to meet him. We’d emailed a few times back and forth, and I learned he would be coming to Hoboken for the festivities in the evening. Ironically enough, he would be in the apartment across the street. The same apartment my roommate and I scoped out on numerous occasions, noticing a gay couple lives there. I texted him to see if he was there, but he told me he decided to stay home after not feeling well.
This, of course turned my attention to the apartment across the way. My roommate and I had scoped out this apartment many times starting on New Year’s Eve when we presumed two mo’s lived there. This night, they were having a party. We noticed many men, and we tried to make a sign with a sharpie and the inside of a paper bag. It was no use. Anyone’s attention that was looking out the window was drawn to our neighbors upstairs. They too were having a raucous party.
I decided to use technology to find a way to make friends with the mo’s across the street. I pulled up Grindr and tried to find anyone very close. When I finally got in touch with someone nearby and asked him if they were at that address, I came to learn that person had left the party already. I made many more futile attempts to reach out to the party. A few of us watched with curiosity when people moved into the bedroom, but nothing exciting happened. Our front window became a version of “Rear Window.”
When I grew tired of my new entertainment, I made my way to bed. It was a long day, but a fun day. I was beat.
The next day, I returned the favor of a friend for helping me move. I rode my motorcycle over to his new apartment and dug in moving bags and boxes. When we drove to his old place, I realized we were in the same neighborhood as Indiana Jones lived. I pulled out my phone and texted him to see if he was around. It’d been months since I last saw him, and I was anxious to see him again. We were due for a catch-up. I didn’t hear back from him that day, but I wouldn’t give up at that.
Follow @onegayatatimeAt the ripe age of 26, I came to a life changing conclusion. I'm GAY!
It took me 26 years to realize this and come to terms with it, but coming out's been the best decision of my life.
This blog is about my dating life in NYC and what happens next...
One Gay at a Time 
Check That Off the List
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on April 24, 2012
Once again, another Friday arrived, and once again, I used up a carry-over vacation day to stay home and relax.
For some time, I’d been speaking to a few guys on Grindr who happened to be tops. When we both learned we were the same position, discussion turned to other options, such as bringing in a third. We were both really attracted to each other, but neither was willing to bottom for the other.
Many men dream about the threesome. Straight men fantasize about it constantly, and I assume it’s a big gay male fantasy as well. The only difference is gay men probably act on it and achieve it far more often. It certainly isn’t, however, easy to pull off. You have to organize three different mens’ schedules and also take into consideration their taste in other men. We all know how finicky gay men can be.
I woke up Friday with no agenda and morning wood. I wanted to take care of it, but I also wanted to act on my recent fantasy of a threesome. I started with one of the most promising guys who I’d discussed this with before. He wasn’t getting back to me. I began going through more than a few permutations trying to find 2 guys willing to participate who weren’t occupied with work.
After much discussion about who could host and who wouldn’t host, I managed to get my original group together, but not without issue. I had to ride my motorcycle into New York City to pick the bottom up. He wasn’t comfortable coming out to Hoboken alone, and the other guy wasn’t willing to host strangers. Strange to think he had no problem hopping into bed with strangers, just as long as it wasn’t his own. I rode in and picked him up. It was slightly awkward, but it all fell right into place. He hopped on the back of the bike, and we rode off to my place.
Warning: The following may be too graphic for some. We arrived before the other guy. I didn’t know the rules, but I was looking to wait for the vers guy to arrive before we got started. The bottom wasn’t so patient. He wasn’t the best looking man in the world, but he had a great body. He started kissing all over me until he undid my pants and started orally pleasuring me. He was quite good. He undid his pants as well and revealed a generous gift. He asked me if we could go to the bedroom until the other guy arrived. I encouraged him to wait since he was only a few blocks away.
When he arrived, the bottom walked to my bedroom and began to undress. I brought the vers guy into my room, and he and I began to undress. I wasn’t as thrilled with him. He looked much better in his pictures, but there certainly wasn’t anything wrong with him. You can’t win ‘em all. I laid on the bed in my boxer briefs while the other two joined me and began rubbing me all over and kissing me. I felt like a king. Everyone was there serving me, and it felt great!
This guy was incredibly awkward. He looked like he was having a seizure. His sex was spastic and crazy. On top of that, he was very particular and insisted I use the condoms and lube he brought. While he was inside the bottom, I climbed on top and penetrated the vers. This was not the easiest sex position by any means, and it did not last long. The logistics of three people getting the same rhythm are nearly impossible. It’s obvious in porn when this happens, they are doing it for the camera and certainly not for pleasure.
We swapped positions a few times and had already gone through a substantial amount of condoms. If one thing was certain, I was going to be wrapped up at all times! Finally, I suggested we move things to my shower.
We went through a few permutations of positions in the shower before I told them I simply wanted to watch them while I took care of myself. The bottom protested. I could tell he was very annoyed by the vers and wanted me more. When we ran out of warm water, we all toweled off. The bottom needed to excuse himself. He was feeling light-headed. He made his way out to the living room in his towel.
I was left with the spaz in my room, and I wasn’t thrilled. We tried a go at it for a short bit, but I was much more interested in the guy sitting in the living room. We stopped and moved things out to the living room after closing all the curtains. The bottom was feeling better, so he was eager for me again. He hopped on the chair and asked me to go again with him.
The vers guy almost immediately began to get dressed, noting he had to get back home to finish work. The bottom was going to head back in with him so he wouldn’t get lost, but the vers wasn’t willing to wait for him to get dressed. The bottom asked me to ride him back onto the city, but I told him I would give him a ride as far as the PATH. From there on, he was on his own.
We chatted a bit about how spastic the other guy was. Neither of us were thrilled with him, but it is what it is. The bottom got dressed and hopped on the back of my motorcycle. When we got to the PATH, I gave him directions for getting back home.
I sped off home. I was in need of a serious shower. Since the morning’s activities began, I felt incredibly dirty.
If you’re considering a threesome, I strongly encourage you to think it out first. Don’t just jump into it to satisfy some great fantasy you’ve seen many times in porn. If you have the constitution for it, then by all means, do what makes you happy. But, if you’re thinking twice, I strongly suggest you leave the fantasy to your mouse clicking.
There was nothing sexy about what happened. It did not live up to the fantasy I had originally dreamed of. It was awkward and at times laborious. I needed to wash away the shame and guilt I felt, but it was no use. Those would stick around for at least the remainder of the day.
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