Posts Tagged condom
Results Are In
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on July 18, 2012
It’d been a few days since CK and I got tested for STDs at the clinic. We had to wait for our results to come in. I am from the school of thought that believes there’s no use worrying. Worrying won’t change the results. So, from the moment I walked out the door of the clinic, I stopped thinking about it. I’d set a reminder in my phone to call when my results would be ready.
I had a busy day at work, so I had to put off calling until my workday calmed down. I found a private place to make the call and waited for the results with bated breath. I wasn’t particularly worried. Perhaps I should have been more worried. When we left the office, we both put reminders in our phones to call. Why hadn’t I heard from CK? Did he forget to call? Did he call and was afraid to share the news with me? The receptionist picked up the phone asking, “Please hold?” Apparently, we were going to drag this out as long as possible. When she finally came back to the phone, she asked for my name and what insurance provider I use. After giving her the information, I was put on hold once again. They really know how to up the drama — They should work for TNT.
Finally, she gave me my results. I was clean on all counts except one. I came back positive for Herpes Simplex Type I, aka cold sores. I’d had this since a child and “inherited” it like many Americans from my mother. This was not news to me. I was quite happy. I came back negative on all the heavy hitters — Chlamydia, Syphilis, Herpes Simplex Type II, Gonorrhea, HIV. Since CK and I had unprotected sex (yes I know how stupid we are), I assumed he would have good news to share as well. I texted him to ask him if he called yet.
I wasn’t expecting his response. He informed me that he did indeed call and received his results, but he wanted to talk in person. What could he need to talk to me in person about?! If I came back negative for all but cold sores, what could he need to discuss with me? Now, I was scared.
After work, we had plans to stay in the city. I left my office and walked to his apartment when he finished work. When he answered the door, he was in his underwear. He was about to hop in the shower just as I arrived. I gave him a big kiss and made myself comfortable while he freshened up. When he came out of the shower, we laid in bed together for a while – He in his towel and me fully dressed from work. I brought up the testing results, but he asked if we could talk about it later. I complied. After laying with each other, we got ready to go to dinner. It was getting to be about that time. We settled on a Greek place, Ethos, not far from his apartment we’d been to before. The food was good, so I wanted to go back.
We held hands while we walked there noticing dogs along the way. CK was still going on about how he wanted me to get a dog. I explained once again how I couldn’t handle one, nor did my lease allow for one. I told him, “When we live together, I will get a dog.” His eyes lit up as a smile spread across his face.
We shared a lovely and romantic dinner for two before heading back to his apartment for the night. I was impressed with myself for not bringing up the testing results sooner, but at this point, I had to ask. He was obviously holding something back. As we walked he told me a story about how he contracted oral herpes. In the middle of the story, I cut him off. I told him I was already positive for simplex I, and he had nothing to worry about. He was very confused. He didn’t understand how I was making light of this. He was actually quite miffed I wasn’t forthcoming with that portion of my results.
The way I saw it, I would bring it up when I had an outbreak. If he’d never been exposed to the virus or oral cold sores, we would prevent him from coming in contact with me, i.e. we would stop kissing until it went away. I really didn’t see it as a big deal. Lots of people get cold sores. In fact, 80% of adult Americans are infected with the virus. I’ve been fortunate not to have experienced them very often, but they do happen when I get too much sun or when my lips split in the winter. I could see the relief on his face and in his posture. For the first time all night, he relaxed.
It was at that moment we both celebrated our results. We stopped in the middle of the street to hug and exchange a giant kiss. At this point, he couldn’t wait to go home and have sex.
Warning: The following may be too graphic for some. That night, we had the best sex we’d had to date. It was incredibly passionate and incredibly raw. We had no worries and no cares. In the end, I finished inside him, and he finished inside me. It felt amazing. I’d never felt that before. I have to admit, I was a little apprehensive about it at first. I’d only ever finished inside one other guy before without a condom. I’d never allowed anyone to ejaculate inside me.
It didn’t feel like I thought it would. I imagined a lot more sensation than the actual moment, however, the act made me feel so much more. The emotions tied to the action added so much more to it. I truly felt loved by him, and I truly felt my love for him when I exploded my seed deep within him. I feel the need to say, this is not the deal that works for every couple. CK and I have spoken at length about this topic. We will continue to be tested on a regular basis, regardless of either of us feeling a “need” for it. We have made it part of our routine. We know there are risks any time you have unprotected sex, however, we have come to mutually trust each other and find comfort in that. I am in no way endorsing unprotected sex!
It’s incredible how much that simple act brought us closer together, but I think that night kind of sealed the deal for us (Pun not intended). We’d had passionate sex before, but I think that night was the first of many night we stopped having sex and started making love.
Follow @onegayatatimeRevisiting the Past
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on May 15, 2012
Relationships aren’t easy. No matter whether you’re friends or lovers, each relationship is accompanied by its own set of issues. When you introduce sex into these relationships, things get exponentially more complicated.
Tuesday, I engaged in unprotected sex with M.E. It happened in the middle of the night in the passion of a moment, however, there is never an excuse. People’s lives are at stake. I tell you about the poor decisions and the mistakes I’ve made because I hope you can learn from them.
From that morning on, I was on damage control. I’d already talked to him about what transpired between us, and we agreed to get tested and share our results to ensure we were safe going forward. I called a doctor’s office and made an appointment that Wednesday following work to have an STD test.
As I walked into the doctor’s office, I noticed a few other men sitting in the waiting room. I had never been to this facility before. I was curious if they were there for the same thing I was. I began to wonder what was going through their heads. Were they petrified? Were they already infected? etc. I myself began to worry a little. I wasn’t particularly worried until I walked into the waiting room. There was nothing I could do at that point, so I tried to calm my nerves. The only good part about this was it made me quite ready to fill a cup with my urine sample. They also drew blood and told me to call in three days for my results.
Now, it was the waiting game. I couldn’t do anything and would have to wonder for three days.
That night, I had plans with P to go see Silence, The Musical. After my tests, I walked all the way downtown to meet her for dinner near the theater. Dinner was very nice. I got her caught up on all the latest action in my life. She’s always incredibly supportive, even when I make poor life choices.
We went to the show, and about two minutes in, I noticed how attractive one of the male actor/dancers was. It was a small theater, and any time he was on stage, I couldn’t take my eyes off him. When they came out for curtain call, he caught my eye, and we made eye contact. There was a bit of an awkward moment, but I was crushing a bit.
I wasn’t intimidated because I’d already dated someone who worked on Broadway. This was Off-Broadway. I didn’t think twice about what I was about to do. That night, when I got home, I decided to do some research (and when I say research, I mean stalking). I pulled out the Playbill and looked to see if I could find him on Facebook. Much to my surprise, he was on there. I decided to message him. What the hell, why not? What did I have to lose?
I’m sure you’re wondering who this is, and I really hope this doesn’t come off incredibly creepy. I myself can’t believe I’m about to send you this. (And, something tells me I may not be the first).
First off, I came to see Silence tonight and thought you were incredibly cute and incredibly talented. Your mother must be so proud.
Second off, I have no idea if you’re single or even gay. But gay or straight, single or taken, I’d love to strike up a conversation with you. On the flip side, I fully understand if this makes you uncomfortable.
Anyway, with nothing to lose but a little dignity, I thought I’d give it a shot. Hit me back if you’re interested in chatting some time. If not, enjoy the flattery…
Then, I noticed he was a friend of Broadway, the guy I dated for ten months. I pulled out my phone and texted him to see what their relationship was. His response was, “Who is that?” I explained who he was and how they were Facebook friends. “Oh yes. We audition together. HOT!! You dating?” I told him, “No. I just cold called him on Facebook after seeing his show… LOL. We’ll see what happens. Think I creeped him out?” He felt I did creep him out, but I explained how I had nothing to lose.
Sadly, I never heard back from him. It just wasn’t meant to be.
Much later that night, I received a text from the guy I had sex with when I cheated on N. We’d been texting a bit recently after noticing each other on Grindr. He asked if I was up. I replied, and he asked if he could come over. Apparently, I was getting a booty call. It was about 11:30, but I didn’t see the harm. After all, I did fantasize about the first time we had sex quite often. It was something my mind went back to many times. This isn’t because of the cheating. It was simply because the sex was that good.
He came over, and I could tell he’d been drinking a bit. He immediately commented on how crazy it was that my new apartment looked exactly like my last. He began taking his shoes off before hopping on the bed with me. He immediately began making out with me interspersed with conversation. He never got closure with how messed up things ended between him, N and myself.
He wanted to talk a lot about him. I would have been fine if N never even came up in conversation. I learned they got together once after I told him to take a hike. It was hysterical how much their accounts of this encounter were completely different. The only commonality was how much disdain they had for each other. At one point he mentioned how dirty N was. I asked him to clarify as in physically or as in naughty. He then went on to describe a particular body part that would only have been encountered during sex and how disgusting it was. He then went on to tell me they never had sex. He told me N just gave him a blowjob and he finished on his face. He pointed out his surprise I ever dated N. N’s account of the story was they met on the street. After seeing him, he couldn’t believe I would hook up with someone so ugly, let alone cheat on him with someone of that caliber. All I could do was laugh my a$$ off in my head. These two were ridiculous. I was so happy I cut things off with both when I did.
After the N conversation concluded, he really wanted to have sex with me. He mentioned how amazing it was the last time we hooked up, and he told me he hadn’t had sex with a man since the previous summer. I told him how hot it was last time we hooked up and how I referred back to it many times in my mind. With that, the clothes began to strip off.
Warning: The following may be too graphic for some. We were intertwined in each other’s embrace making out. I found myself lying on my stomach with him on top of me. I knew he would try to penetrate me, but I wasn’t game for that. The last time he did that, I sprang from the bed because he did it with no preparation and full force. I wasn’t about to let that happen again. He tried and tried, and I never relaxed to allow entry. I think he got embarrassed with his fumbling, and he made a comment. I complimented him and told him he was too large for me. We switched positions, much to his chagrin, and now I was the one on top. He was on his back, and I put his legs up on my shoulders.
He told me how much he enjoyed me inside him because I hit his prostrate just right. With that, I slipped inside him. It felt amazing. It was just as good as the last time I played over and over again in my mind’s eye. He loved it too. After a short while, he finished on his abdomen. Seconds later, I alerted him I was about to finish. He replied, “I want you to shoot inside me,” and I did. For me, this was a first, and it felt incredible.
I’m not sure why, but I had no problem finishing this time. It completely came naturally and without over thought. I felt amazing and incapacitated all in one. We lay there next to each other speechless for a minute before even moving or talking. We were in euphoria.
When that wore off, I became the topic of conversation. N told him about the blog when everything went down. He told me he read part of it and still didn’t understand why I wrote it. He also asked this story not make an appearance, but I find it too important to exclude. He pointed out I was looking for a boyfriend, and that was not what he was looking for at all. He pointed out how I was going about things all the wrong way if I wanted to find love. I explained to him all my trials and tribulations and what I was looking for in the end. He fully understood.
Then he made a comment about how stupid we were to not use a condom. I agreed. I’m sure he was far more worried about the situation than I was since I finished inside him. Apparently, with everything I’ve been through, I still didn’t learn my lesson. I wasn’t being responsible.
This was my wake-up call. I’d hit rock bottom. I’d gotten so reckless with my life. I needed to stop before I did something that could end my life. What was I doing? How could I be this stupid? This wasn’t how to find love — Having unprotected sex with the guy I cheated on my ex with. No more excuses. No more Grindr hookups. No more strangers. If I wasn’t finding love, I would be single and celibate for some time until I got myself under control. This was my turning point.
Follow @onegayatatimeSomething We Should Discuss
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on May 14, 2012
Things with Middle Eastern certainly weren’t leaving us holding hands skipping down the beach. I really liked him, but I never really saw the potential for a strong relationship with him. I would like to think I wasn’t leading him on. I would like to think he was well aware we were casual and enjoying each other’s company. But, who could be sure what’s going through someone else’s head?
I invited him to come over for dinner Tuesday night after work. A part of me was horny, and he is really great in bed. Another part of me wanted his companionship — Just someone to watch TV with and cuddle. He was in class and would come by a little later. This worked out because it would allow me time to make us food.
When he arrived, we immediately went into my bedroom and fooled around. We didn’t have sex, but there was a lot of kissing and groping and cuddling. He told me about his day, and I got him caught up on what was going on in my life since I’d last seen him. When we had our fill, I tossed him a pair of my shorts to put on, and we made our way back out to the living room to eat and watch TV. I learned he’d already eaten, and I made a plate for myself, and we sat on the couch watching TV.
When my roommates made their way to bed, and it was getting later, I turned off the TV and led M.E. to my bedroom. We hopped into bed and watched some more TV before we were no longer watching because other desires took over. Warning: The following may be too graphic for some. The kissing and heavy petting led to stronger desires. I grabbed a condom and lube, and we went at it. It was extra passionate this time, We were thoroughly enjoying each other. We went through many permutations of positions. Every one was better than the last. His body felt amazing, and he seemed to really be enjoying it.
I was disappointed he never finished with me, but I fully understood. I’m not quite sure he did. “I don’t know how to explain it. It’s like I have a full-body experience, but I never cum,” he expressed. I told him I knew exactly what he meant. I never brought it up myself, because I knew that was the exact opposite of a solution. In all the times I’d been with him, he never finished. He told me it was nearly impossible for him to accomplish after I penetrated him. We both went to bed that night without finishing. The sex was so great I didn’t feel the need to finish myself off. I was also hoping for some morning nookie, so I knew I would be hornier if I left it til the morning.
In the middle of the night, he did something that woke me up. I glanced at the clock and saw it was nearly four am. He began grinding against me and grabbing hold of my member. He was massaging his backside with it. When I woke, I began to engage in this activity as well. I was grinding on him until all of a sudden I found myself inside him. It was pure bliss. We both enjoyed this in the spooning position for some time before finally withdrawing and going back to sleep.
In the morning, we woke to the sound of my alarm. I had to go to work. He didn’t have any obligations that morning. As I predicted, I woke up hornier than ever. The middle of the night sex had my engine revving extra hard. We engaged in a lot of foreplay. I started orally pleasuring his backside before climbing on top of him and penetrating him once again.
This time, I did not reach for the condom. I know this isn’t the smartest. I let passion get the better of me. In the back of my mind, I trusted him. I didn’t think he was having sex with anyone else. I also know I’d done a lot to make sure I was protected with all the sex I’d recently engaged in. I had no signs of an STD and no reason to believe I contracted HIV.
We let out synchronic moans of pleasure. It felt amazing. We had lots of sex before he needed to take a break. He caught his breath as we exchanged how much we enjoyed sex together. When he was good again. He laid on his back while I lifted his legs up on my shoulders. I enjoyed looking into his eyes and kissing him while we had sex. He was pretty amazing in bed, and I loved his passion. We stopped when he needed a break again.
I didn’t want to be late, but I still wanted to continue the fun. We hopped in the shower and bathed every inch of each other’s bodies. I was still incredibly horny, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to concentrate at work if I didn’t finish. I tossed him down on my bed and pulled his towel off. We got right back into it for a bit before I withdrew and finished myself off. He was thrilled. He really enjoyed all of it, but I could see there was something else going on there. I knew we didn’t discuss the lack of protection, and it needed to be brought up. I was in a rush to get to the PATH to go to work, so I made a mental note to call him later to discuss.
He gave me a ride to the PATH, and I kissed him goodbye. When I got to the other side of the river, I’d received a text from him expressing his concern. He wasn’t worried, but he just wanted to discuss it. I explained to him I too had been meaning to bring it up, and I’m glad he did. I told him I’d always used protection with anyone else I’d been with, and he needn’t worry. I told him I trusted him, and after it happened in the middle of the night, I let my guard down about it in the morning. I told him I was going to get tested in the next few days so both of us could be certain he had nothing to worry about, and he told me he planned to go as well. He told me the last time he had been tested, and I told him mine. I had a strong feeling I had nothing to worry about with him, so scheduling a test felt more routine than anything. He’s a bit younger, so I’m sure he was worrying a bit more. I wanted to be sure to get results as soon as possible so I could give him peace of mind.
He was a good kid, and I really enjoyed being with him. I never wanted to do anything to hurt him. After we chatted over text, he told me he felt a lot better and wasn’t so worried. I apologized for putting him in that situation, and I told him we should discuss things after we both got our results back. I found it to be a very healthy conversation we probably should have had earlier, but I was happy we had it.
Spring Fling
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on May 8, 2012
SPRING! The first day of Spring finally arrived. We didn’t have a very rough winter, but I was certainly ready for spring. I had no work obligation, so I rang in the new season from the comfort of my bed watching TV.
About 1:00 am, I got a booty call. There was a guy I had been in touch with for over a year and never met. He was a very sexy Hispanic man who it seems swam in the same circle as me. This wasn’t just any random booty call, however. He was over at a friend’s place, and they were looking to have some fun.
They didn’t want to have a threesome in the sense I’d recently been in. They were more looking to watch porn and jerk together with some light fun. Things got particularly uncomfortable when he asked if I party. I am NOT into drugs mixed with sex. It’s not my thing. I was pretty clear about this. I don’t feel comfortable around it at all. I told them if partying was in, I was out. They were fine with that. They didn’t think I was coming, but in the end I agreed to come by.
I quietly snuck out of my apartment and hopped on the motorcycle. I made my way in the chill of the night over to Jersey City where his friend lived. When I got there, I couldn’t figure out where to enter the building. I finally found it when the Hispanic guy came down to meet me. I finally got to meet him in person. He was hot and was an impressive presence. He was well-built and very tall. I shook his hand and rode the elevator up with him.
When we entered the apartment, I was greeted by a gorgeous dog. It was the Hispanic guy’s dog, and he put him in the bedroom so he wouldn’t be a bother. It was a gorgeous apartment. The owner was sprawled on the couch in front of the porn playing on the big screen TV. I was introduced and removed my jacket. I was encouraged to make myself comfortable. All three of us began to strip. I wasn’t attracted to the owner of the apartment at all. He wasn’t attractive, and he had a very distant look in his eyes. He kinda creeped me out. I had my suspicions he had already partied. He had a beer in his hand, but I had a feeling that wasn’t the culprit.
Warning: The following may be too graphic for some. The three of us laid on the couch watching porn together exciting ourselves. Then the kissing began. I started kissing the hot one while the ugly one started kissing all over my body and began orally pleasuring me. He was constantly going deeper to the point of making himself violently gag. I was petrified he was going to vomit in my lap. I tried to concentrate on the hot one. He was very normal and enjoying himself.
The ugly guy was almost like a dog on me. He kept climbing on me, and I really wanted him to go away. The Hispanic guy kept making comments about him and to him. He, however, wasn’t speaking at all, only grunting. “She’s a big old bottom,” the Hispanic said. I fully understood that by him nudging his hairy a$$ toward me constantly, but I was not interested. He wanted me to penetrate him, but I was not going anywhere near that, even with a condom on. I was cordial to him, but I never purposely engaged him in any way. He kept getting in the way of me enjoying time with the hot one, whimpering by my face waiting to suck on my mouth.
A few times I contemplated leaving. I never did anything I wasn’t comfortable with, but I wasn’t really enjoying myself. Periodically, the porn would freeze to buffer, and the “dog” would have to fix it. It was a nice reprieve from him being all over me.
After some time, the hot one decided it was time for him to head home. He needed to get the real dog back and settle in for the night. If he wasn’t staying, neither was I. I stood and told them I was heading out as well. I started to get dressed. The ugly dog on the couch was confused by all this and still in a haze. The Hispanic guy asked if the other guy could give him a ride home. After some confusion, he agreed. I was very happy I wasn’t in that car. I wasn’t sure he’d be ok to drive. I waited for the other two to finish getting ready and dressed to head out.
The Hispanic with the dog told us he needed to go downstairs to let the dog relieve itself. I wasn’t thrilled with the idea of being left in the apartment with just him. I stood by the door, and the other guy got ready quickly. We ended up all riding down in the elevator together. When we got downstairs, we all said goodbye. I hopped back on the motorcycle, sped home and hopped in the shower.
When I got back to my apartment, I got a text from the Hispanic guy. “Sorry. I think my friend was into you. I felt kinda out-of-place. LOL.” I responded back after I got out of the shower, “Hey dude. Great body. Seem fun. No offense, but your friend isn’t really my speed. Sorry. Not sure if you had fun with me, but feel free to hit me up sometime.” That’s when I got the full story between the two of them: “Him and I hooked up when we first met and no more after that. Sorry if I came off rude. I had fun with you. Definitely. But, he was trying to have you for himself. I got the hint. He’s my bud, so I was trying not to f*ck it up. I wasn’t sure if you were into him or not. You were kissing each other. Plus I had my pup with me.” I explained to him the confusion: “I was more just letting him play. Didn’t want anyone to feel left out. LOL. I was trying to get more of you ;)” He told me, “I would chill again whenever.” I quickly responded, “Cool dude. You have my number. Anytime. Trying to go on a Grindr diet… Obviously failed tonight.” He finally added, “It’s cool. Had fun. Finish some other time. ;)” With that, I hopped into bed.
I finished myself off and passed out. I didn’t set an alarm since I had nothing to wake up for early in the morning. This post should have been titled I have no willpower. Hopefully the next day I would be able to stick to my new diet.
Follow @onegayatatimeWhy Do I Make Such Poor Decisions?
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on May 3, 2012
Another Friday, and I used up yet another carryover vacation day. This one would kick off a staycation lasting over week long. I was beholden to no schedule and no one.
Once again, I woke up horny and turned to my go-to. I fired up Grindr and began to search for someone to satisfy the animal within. When over an hour passed by and had no luck, I turned to my computer. I checked adam4adam.com for any messages. I had a few, but no one seemed to be around for the day. I cast out a net to see what was out there. I began messaging some of the guys who lived in Hoboken and the surrounding area. Some of the guys were online, many were not.
After some time, I got some responses. I exchanged messages with a few guys, but they were all preoccupied or messaging me from work on their phone. This was turning out to be a bust, and I’d already wasted hours doing this. Geez, what was I doing with my life! But, I was still horny. Rather than turn to porn and finish myself off, I continued to search.
Then, out of the blue, a guy, who had messaged me many times before, sent me a message. He was horny and looking for fun. His profile was pretty bare, which is why I’d rejected him so many times before. However, this time I was a bit “desperate.”
I responded to his message and learned he lived close by. We talked about what he was looking for. I learned he was a “hungry bottom.” He was looking for some no-strings-attached action, and I was too. I told him to come by my place.
Half an hour later, he buzzed my apartment. When I answered the door, I was a little shocked. He was much smaller than he looked in the pictures. This is not at all what I was expecting. I don’t mean to sound racist here, only descriptive. He was a tiny little Mexican boy. He told me he was 29, but he looked about 18.
This is where I go wrong. Where I should be able to say, “Sorry. I don’t think I can do this,” I don’t because I feel bad they came all the way to my place. Why is this when the nice side of me decides to show its face?
I tell him to come in and show him to my bedroom. He immediately asks me again, “Are you clean?” I reassure him of my negative and clean status. I was a little relieved by his paranoia – It made for a stronger argument that he himself was clean and afraid of contracting something. At least I knew this guy was safe.
Warning: The following may be too graphic for some. With that, he undid my pants and began orally pleasuring me. He had a mint in his mouth, and this was certainly a new one for me. Everything tingled. I’m still not sure if this was a good thing or a bad thing. I’m also still not sure if he did it on purpose, or if he just happened to be concerned with his fresh breath.
After a short while, he turned around and began to grind his a$$ in my crotch. He asked me to get a condom and lube. He was bent over the foot of my bed while I penetrated him. He thoroughly enjoyed it. He told me to keep going until I finished. “I’m here to serve you,” he added. “I want you to finish inside me.” I wasn’t sure this was a request I could fulfill. I have enough of a problem finishing without the added hindrance of the condom’s desensitizing nature. I alternated between penetration and self stimulation to see if I could manage to finish, but it was no use. Finally, with the right combination, I ripped off the condom and finished all over his back, accidentally hitting him in the back of the head with a shot. He began to spread it around when I told him I would get him a towel. He didn’t seem to mind nor need one, but I insisted on wiping what was left of my DNA off his back. He was going to find it to be an incredibly uncomfortable ride home in the car if I didn’t.
He turned and asked if he could suck on my toes. I’d never had that request live in person before, but I was game. After my toes were thoroughly bathed, while he pleasured himself to no finish, he collected his clothes and got dressed. I saw him to the door, and with that, he was gone.
I felt so disgusting. I didn’t waste one more second before jumping in the shower. Everything I did was safe, but I still felt incredibly dirty. I needed to wash the shame down the drain as well. I found myself asking the question once again, “What the f*ck are you doing!?” I decided then and there I wasn’t going to turn this into a trend over my staycation. I was going to turn things around. This staycation was going to be all about me bettering myself. I was going to eat right, relax, read, tan, go to the gym… No more was I going to call random guys for sex. I needed to move on and stop giving myself excuses.
This was a fine plan. Now I just needed to stick to it!
Follow @onegayatatimeOn A Sexual Roll
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on April 18, 2012
I have a generous amount of vacation days, as I did a very good job negotiating when I was hired at my job. I don’t, however, have friends who share the same luck. They can either take the time off and have no money to travel, or they have money, but can’t get away from work. On top of this, being single leaves me only with the option to travel – Alone. I don’t enjoy this. As a result, I build up all these vacation days and never use them.
When the new year arrives, I have until the end of March to use up all the days I carried over. As a result, I start giving myself four day work-weeks and have staycations. I decided to take Monday off after the local holiday in Hoboken. As per my usual, I woke up horny and turned to Grindr. I tried to get one guy I’d been flirting with to come to my place. He lived in the city in Harlem, so no matter how hard I tried, he was not going to come to Hoboken.
After him, I went through a ton of Grindr guys trying to find someone to come over for some morning fun. None were biting. I turned Grindr off after what I’m sure was over an hour of surfing, and hopped on the computer. I thought I would give adam4adam a shot. I had messaged a few guys, but I wasn’t getting a response. That was until I found one guy who is 26 and worked in the area.
He was a good-looking guy, as per his profile pictures. We began exchanging messages. He unlocked his pictures, and I got a glimpse of his face finally. He was a very sexy, light-skinned black man. He had this college jock look about him, and I was very turned on. His body was fit, he was clean-cut, and his smile was utterly adorable.
I asked him if he’d be free later to swing by. He had a light day at work since his boss was out of the office. We discussed logistics since he worked in neighboring Jersey City. He could either take a cab or the light rail to my place. I gave him all his options, and we made a plan for him to come by around 4:00. I learned he was usually a top, but he was willing to bottom for me. This was extra exciting to me, because I had greater hope he’d be a more masculine man than most typical bottoms.
When he arrived, I was immediately taken back by how sexy he was in his work clothes. Then I noticed his incredible blue eyes. He looked just like Michael Ealy. He was very masculine and had on slacks, a dress shirt, a tie and an incredible smile. He wasn’t nervous about this at all, which I found to be very sexy. I led him into my room, and he immediately began undressing himself. I liked his matter-of-factness — His “I know the drill” style. I sat on the bed talking to him as he undid his tie, stripped off his shirt, removed his shoes and took off his pants.
Warning: The following may be too graphic for some. The man had an amazing body. I was very pleased. I could tell he takes good care of his body, and I was ready to ravage it. I wanted to touch every inch of his milk chocolate colored skin. I was still sitting on the bed in my gym shorts and tank top when he unexpectedly took off his boxer briefs as well. If I wasn’t already excited before, now I was rock hard. He walked toward me as I stood and removed my clothes as well.
He was a well gifted man, and once we were both fully undressed, we laid on the bed with him on top of me making out for a bit. He had amazing lips and knew how to use them. He had a strong body, and I enjoyed wrapping my arms around him. It was hot! We began to fool around and explore each other’s bodies.
Ater some making out and mutual oral pleasure, he got into position for me to use some of the techniques I’d read in Tickle My Tush. I knew he was normally a top, so I took the time to make sure he was fully ready and not rush things. I was enjoying myself as well. He seemed to be really enjoying himself as well from the sound of things.
That’s when I reached over the edge of the bed to my nightstand and grabbed a condom and some lube. He was face down on the bed in front of me, and the real fun was about to begin. I really enjoyed being up against his body and feeling him. He may not have been a bottom, but he sure was passionate in the bedroom and knew how to use his body. The sex was great, and eventually he finished. Seconds after that I too pulled back and finished. It was very hot! I grabbed a towel to clean up his back and the sheets below while we exchanged a few more kisses and expressed our enjoyment with each other.
Just as he undressed like he knew the drill, he began to get dressed. I learned he was heading back to work. I was surprised because he lived in the city. I assumed I was a pit stop on the way home. I felt bad for him he had to return to the office, but I didn’t regret inviting him over. I had a great time with him and would certainly be willing to have him swing by again sometime.
I walked him to the door and gave him another kiss goodbye. He was such a polite gentleman. I could tell him momma did a good job raising him. He thanked me, to which I replied, “Thank me!? Thank you! That was great! Anytime you want to do this again, you know how to reach me.” And with that, he was gone.
In the coming weeks, we’d try to do it again, but he was having a busy week. I could tell he was more than just a hot body, so after that, I asked him if he’d ever be interested in grabbing a drink sometime, but I got no response. Perhaps he will just remain a fond memory of a day off…
Follow @onegayatatimeHalf Day Fun
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on April 12, 2012
Monday at work, I received a email from UPS notifying me a delivery attempt was made. When I arrived home Monday night, I had a notice on my door from UPS. They’d been there earlier in the day and attempted to deliver the leather chair I ordered. No one was home, but luckily the driver gave me his cellphone number so I could call him when I got home. I called him, and he delivered my chair around 7:30 at night. (I love my UPS man!)
I’d already informed work I’d be taking a half-day to accept the chair, so I kept those plans. It would allow me to take care of a few things after my emotional trip to LA.
Since I didn’t have to get up early Tuesday morning for work, I decided to reach out to a guy I’d been chatting with for quite some time on Grindr. I was very apprehensive because he was so young. He is 22 and is still in college. I told him straight up my hang-up with his age. That being said, I still agreed to meet him, but I explained it wasn’t an ideal situation.
When we first talked on Grindr, he was looking mainly for a hookup. He had an amazing body, but I was making an effort to calm down with the hookups. I told him I was looking for something more substantial. He was very interested in this response, but he already showed his cards. I knew he was there more for sex. We agreed to meet up for a drink sometime, and I went to bed.
Tuesday morning, I let my hormones get the better of me. I woke up horny as usual, and I found him on Grindr once again. I asked him if he wanted to come over. The conversation quickly morphed into sexual territory.
We both talked about a few fantasies, and I quickly learned he had an adventurous side. I was very turned on, so I told him to come over. He explained he needed to shower but would be up for coming over. I too showered in anticipation of his arrival.
While we talked about our fantasies, we discussed a little fun when he arrived. I told him how hot it would be if he undressed in the hallway before entering my apartment while I watched through the peek hole. He was more than enthusiastic about this and agreed.
When he arrived at my apartment, I buzzed him in. He came to the door and did exactly as we discussed. I was so incredibly turned on watching from the other side of the door. When he was left in his boxer briefs, he knocked. I let him in and led him to my room. We chatted very short bit before we started making out. He stripped me down to my boxers as well, and we embraced each other while we made out on the bed.
He had a great body — Plenty of muscles and lots of definition. He had the cutest smile as well! Warning: The following may be too graphic for some. This escalated, and the boxers ended up on the floor. I couldn’t keep my hands off him. He was the best looking guy I’d been with in a long time. He was also one of the best kissers I’d been with since I can remember.
Before he came over, we chatted about positions. He told me he usually was a top, but he wanted to bottom for me. He told me he had little experience in the area, but wanted to try it out with me. As things escalated, I whispered in his ear my desires and asked him if I should get a condom and lube. He enthusiastically said yes.
I made sure to take things VERY slow. I was treating him as if he was a virgin — Not my first. It took a little time, but after a short bit, he was very much enjoying himself. I could see waves of goose bumps flowing over his body. It was incredibly sexy. I’d finally found a match for passion in the bedroom. He had the right mix of intimacy and sex, and I was thoroughly enjoying myself.
It became necessary to take a break so he could catch his breath. We talked while he relaxed, mixed in with some more passionate kissing. After some time, we made our way to the edge of the bed and tried a new position, which we both thoroughly enjoyed. It’d been a long time since I was with a man in which I felt our bodies become truly one.
When he had his fill and couldn’t take anymore, we laid next to each other and pleasured ourselves. For once, it didn’t take me too long before I finished. He made a comment about being impressed, but was unable to finish himself. I immediately pegged him as someone who had the same problem I did.
We laid there for some time cuddling. I took a lot of time to take in his smile. It lit up his entire face. He was very cute. He is of a Middle-Eastern decent, which I would never say is my type, but I was really attracted to him.
This guy was one of the few who would be a repeat offender. He too expressed his desire to see each other again as we both got dressed. I was still incredibly turned on watching him stand naked in my room while he put on his clothes. I wasn’t just attracted to him sexually. I could tell he was a special guy. I was attracted to him on an emotional level as well. I just worried about our compatibility. I’ve been out in the workforce for nearly six years now. He still hadn’t even graduated college. I’m not one to discriminate based on age, but I do discriminate on life stage. This would either be a guy who expanded my horizon, or proved my rationale — Only time would tell…
Follow @onegayatatimeSo When Are You Moving Back to New York?
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on April 9, 2012
Finally, work sent me somewhere fun, and I was taking full advantage. I stayed out in LA, managed to have some fun, and even managed to find myself a pretty great guy, The Navigator, to hit up the beach with. After swinging by his apartment, we agreed we weren’t done hanging out.
We made our way back to my hotel. After we turned off his street, I came to a stoplight. I took the opportunity to reach over and put my hand on his leg. He immediately responded positively to my advances. He reached down and laid his hand on top of mine and gave it a squeeze. We continued to hold hands the entire way back to the hotel.
We made our way to the room, and when we arrived, we quickly got comfortable with each other. We dropped our bags and laid down on the bed. We chatted a bit before he reached over, pulled me in, and we exchanged a long deep passionate kiss. When we finally came back up for air, I said to him, “I’ve been waiting to do that all day long!” He smiled from ear to ear and pulled me right back in for another deep kiss. He was a great kisser — Not just a good kisser, but a great kisser.
Was there anything wrong with this guy? He certainly wasn’t going to make leaving easy on me. I still had to keep myself in check. This thing would have an end. I couldn’t grow too attached, or I would be in for a world of pain.
The thing I liked most about the chemistry between us was how playful we were. There was no drama. We were just having fun. Everything was so easy. We cuddled and talked and tickled and joked. I felt incredibly comfortable with him. We just seemed to be on the same page about everything. He was certainly giving me hope that I could find a guy out there who I just clicked with right off the bat.
All day long, he had been texting with his friend giving him updates on our “date” as he so-called it on the beach. While we laid there he teased his friend about how good-looking I was, but lied and told him I’d just dropped him off at home while I listened on speaker phone. The exchange between the three of us was very comical and flirtatious. He showed me pictures of the guy we were talking to, and we sent pictures of me to his friend. We all had a good laugh, and his friend asked for continued updates.
The kissing slowly turned into making out. The making out evolved into heavy petting. The heavy petting became stripping. The stripping led to oral pleasures. And finally, the oral pleasures led to me learning he is versatile, which of course led to penetration. My provisions weren’t presumptuous at all. I suspect he noticed my condom/lube purchase at CVS, and this is what gave him the courage to propose going back to my hotel room.
The sex wasn’t the most amazing because I was having difficulties with the condom, but it certainly wasn’t bad. We were passionately enjoying each other on many levels.
After we had sex, we laid next to each other talking more. We attempted to take some pictures together to send his friend, but we couldn’t keep our eyes open because the flash was too bright. After our romp in the sheets and copious amounts of cuddling, I was hungry. I remembered an In-and-Out burger down the street. It was 1am, and they were one of the few places still open, so we got dressed and made our way there to grab dinner.
We took our food back to the room and had a picnic in my bed. We talked and made plans to go hiking the following day. The whole night, all I could think about was how crazy it was I even met him. It was even crazier how we both dove in headfirst. He even mentioned being worried I might be a serial killer for the first couple of minutes in the car. After we finished eating, I jokingly confirmed he was staying. He went to his bag and got changed and broke out his toothbrush. It seems he may have been presumptuous as well in packing his bag.
I didn’t care one bit. I was thrilled to be sharing my bed with such a great man. I only wished it was for a longer-term basis…
Follow @onegayatatimeLate Night Snack
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on April 3, 2012
After my tryst with the Armenian and the Asian, I decided to order some real dinner. This was the last night I was on the company dollar, so I ordered some room service. While I waited, I chatted with the guy who wanted to come by later in the night. I sat and ate my meal in bed with just the TV to keep me company. I was feeling lonely, which is such a strange emotional state to be in considering I’d just shared one of the most intimate acts with two other men.
When midnight arrived, I started texting my late night snack. I asked him what he thought his E.T.A. would be. He told me it was still up the air, but he was definitely coming by. He was out with friends and would swing by on his way home.
Finally, around 2:00am, he texted he was finding parking and would be by shortly. Ten minutes later, I had a knock at the door, for the third time in a matter of hours.
He was a very nice polite black man who was anxious to spend some time with me. He seemed very young and innocent. We chatted a bit while sitting on the bed before any action began. It was getting late, and as rude as this sounds, I was ready to get it in and go to bed. I wanted a nightcap so I could doze off soundly till the morning.
Warning: The following may be too graphic for some. We had A LOT of foreplay and prep before anything happened. He really wanted to cuddle for a long time before we could even get frisky. I was almost ready to call it quits and ask him to leave. It was getting late, and I was getting tired.
There was a lot of kissing. A lot of heavy petting. A lot of licking and sucking. Finally, he was ready and got into position for me to penetrate him. I could tell this wasn’t a guy who gave it up to just anyone. Normally, I’m really into the foreplay and making out, but I’d already had my engine warmed up earlier that evening. In fact, the car had been taken around the block a few times.
I’d saved my climax for him and quickly learned this was a big mistake. He was very bad. We didn’t go for very long because I really wasn’t getting anything out of it. Finally, I stopped and rolled onto my back. I tossed yet another condom in the trash and started taking care of myself. He laid next to me and asked me to finish on his chest. I obliged his request, and he followed suit shortly after.
I knew he was going to be a lingerer. I tried to cut that off at the pass. I humored him for a short bit of time before I finally spoke up and said how I needed to get to bed. It was past 3:00am. It was time for him to go! He got the hint and got dressed. While he did so, he asked if we could hang out again while I was in town. He told me how much he enjoyed himself. I didn’t shoot him down, but I didn’t exactly give him the answer he was looking for. I told him I’d have to see what my schedule allowed for. I told him I was trying to get the most out of my vacation in L.A.
With that, I said goodbye, shut the door, showered all the men of the night away, and climbed into bed to dream about the sunny sandy beach I would be visiting the following day.
Follow @onegayatatimeAt the ripe age of 26, I came to a life changing conclusion. I'm GAY!
It took me 26 years to realize this and come to terms with it, but coming out's been the best decision of my life.
This blog is about my dating life in NYC and what happens next...
One Gay at a Time 
Superman Returns
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on May 30, 2012
Sunday, I made plans with my Superman — My Clark Kent. I was very excited and could hardly wait.
I texted him and invited him to come over to Hoboken. We would take the motorcycle out for a ride before the movie. I ran a lot of errands that morning in anticipation of his arrival later in the afternoon. As the day progressed, the weather looked like it would cooperate less and less. The sky was covered with clouds and the wind picked up significantly. It looked like it would rain any minute.
I texted CK and suggested we hold off on the ride, and I just come into the city to see the movie. It would make things less complicated, and it would give him something to look forward to in the future.
He agreed with the new plan. I met him at his apartment with plenty of time to catch the movie. He suggested we hit up the rooftop since I didn’t get to see it the first time I was there. How could I say no to that? When I got to his apartment, we went directly up to the roof. We spent time checking out the sights, cuddling and taking pictures like we’ve been a couple for a year already. I was crushing hard!
We sat and talked, and he suggested we catch a later showing so we could relax and not have to rush to the theater. I wasn’t going to object to anything at this point. I was so happy. I was just going to go with the flow.
We finally made our way to the theater. He insisted on buying my ticket. I protested since there was no reason I couldn’t pay for myself, but he continued to insist. He wanted this to be his treat. I relented, but was sure to pick up the tab for the pretzel bites and soda.
We made our way into the theater and got great seats. Almost immediately, the PDA began between us. It wasn’t gag yourself PDA. We were simply holding hands or caressing each other’s arms. It was my kind of PDA. I was quite enjoying myself!
We held hands while we walked and at times put our arms around each other. I could hear a lot of people making comments, and some even began to shout or hoot and holler at us. A few of the comments were jeers and a few were shouts of support. This was not something I was used to, but it was something I would have to learn to shrug off. I’d walked through the city being affectionate with other guys before, but it never gathered this type of reaction. At one point, CK acknowledged the comments, asking, “Are they still honking at us?” I told him I thought so, and we kept walking. Frankly, I was a little surprised by it all. We were in midtown west — Smack dab between Chelsea and HK, two of the gayest neighborhoods in NYC. I had a feeling a lot of the commenters were out-of-towners, and many of them were young guys.
When we got away from the crowds, he commented how he liked how I was into the hand holding. “Not all guys are into it. I’m glad you like it,” he added. I told him I liked little signs of affection, but I wasn’t into the far more obvious public displays. I told him I’m not much for making out in public.
He also mentioned the idea that had we planned better, I could have brought clothes to wear to work the next day and spent the night, however, he was happy we weren’t taking things for granted. He was happy with the pace of things, even though he wouldn’t have been opposed to sharing his bed with me.
We laid on one of the outdoor couches together and got comfortable while we ate our ice cream. We talked for a while before we ended up making out. Things stepped up to the next level when he undid my belt and began orally pleasuring me with one eye on the door. It was risky but I wasn’t fully exposed. I liked his passion and excitement. I’d finally met my match in terms of a decent, normal guy with a healthy sexual appetite.
After some time, he asked, “You wanna continue this downstairs in my apartment?” I told him I was totally game, and we descended the stairs.
Warning: The following may be too graphic for some. It wasn’t long before we were both naked in his bed. There was significant foreplay before he asked if I wanted to penetrate him. I was completely engulfed in our passionate romp and nodded my head in definitive agreement. “Yes! Like no other!” I added.
Then, I’m not sure how things switched so quickly, but as I was grinding on his backside, and stopped to put on a condom, he turned to me and said, “Can I f*ck you?” A long time ago, I made a rule for myself I would not bottom for a guy unless we were in a relationship. It wasn’t something I really enjoyed, so only special guys would receive the privilege. I had very strong feelings for him. I wanted to share something special with him already. I could hear A’s voice in my head telling me no sex until the third date, but that voice in my head was no comparison to the passion of my other head. After all that thinking, I said, “Yes.”
Like that, he started making out with me, and he had me on my back. While we were making out, I set the open condom down on the bed. He was already putting it on. I thought he was going to top me after I topped him. I didn’t realize I was giving up my position first. I was a little disappointed, but I let it happen anyway.
This time was much easier. He slid in with no problem, and began gyrating. It’d been some time since my prostate was stimulated like that, so part of it was discomfort and part was unexplainable pleasure. I never finish from bottoming, but I always have a full-body experience. I rarely can walk afterwards — Not because I’m so sore but more so because my legs go limp.
He continued until he was close, pulled out, ripped off the condom and shot all over my chest. It was very hot to watch him explode with gratification. He expressed how great everything felt, and we both laid there incapacitated. He told me how awesome he thought it was that I would flip so readily and let him top me. I told him I thought it was the best way for any healthy relationship. Both partners get to experience it all. Even though I didn’t always enjoy bottoming, I found it to be the ideal situation.
We cuddled for hours after that. We even dozed off for a period. When I woke, it was two am. I checked the schedule for the next PATH and made sure I was on it at 2:30. I said goodbye to him with a very passionate kiss, and we talked about when we’d get to see each other next. It was clear I couldn’t get enough of him. Now, the question was, did he feel the same way about me?
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