Posts Tagged pleasure
When you’re a gay man who came out at the age of 25, you look back and realize how abruptly you were faced with so many new things. Where most people experimented in their formidable years, I was sitting on the sidelines waiting for my day to shine. It’s a wonder I’m not curled up in the corner in the fetal position rocking back-and-forth. It took me some time to get comfortable in the sack, and once I felt comfortable in my own skin, there was no turning back. Or at least I thought so.
Turns out experience can’t erase all your hangups, and when you need help, you need to turn to the sexperts. Astroglide’s Sexual Wellness Ambassador Dr. Yvonne Fulbright is came to my aid to help conquer my sexual shyness in the new year.
Astroglide’s asked me to share some of my experiences with my readers in this sponsored post.
Although I generally try to stay in shape, this holiday season, I morphed into a different kind of shape — Round. I would never let myself go so far as to let my gut get in the way of sex physically, but mentally, that’s another story. It’s hard to feel sexy and intimate between the sheets (even with the lights out) when you don’t feel sexy in the mirror. Even with my boyfriend’s advances and reassurances, I wasn’t feeling sexy. Dr. Yvonne suggests a tip: “Boost your body image. For some, the biggest challenge to getting in a sexy state of mind and letting that be known is how you feel about your body. This also goes for those who seemingly have the “best” bodies. You can start feeling better about your form with regular exercise (as this has mental health perks as well), eating healthy meals, avoiding toxins, and shutting down negative self-talk. Do things that make you feel good about the skin you’re in.” I am already experiencing results physically and mentally through following this new prescription.
I also came across some good advice I feel I’ve absorbed along the way but never put into practice. Dr. Yvonne advises: “Get to know yourself. It’s hard to express yourself or let a lover know your likes and what you want unless you take the time for self-exploration first. So take the time to masturbate. Experiment with different sexual enhancements. Read erotica for inspiration re: scenarios. Flirt with different ways to get turned on, to seduce, and begin the process of foreplay. You will feel more self-assured in providing instruction, even if it’s non-verbal.” I’m not sure I need to explore myself more often, but I should probably explore more of myself to increase the pleasure when I’m not alone.
Looking for advice for your own sexual shyness? You can submit your questions to Dr. Yvonne via the form on Astroglide’s site. And, ensure better sex in 2013 with Astroglide’s free samples! Your sex-life will thank you come next New Year’s.
Recently, the fine people at Mangasm brand of male sex toys reached out to me recently offering a free Mangasm Edge in return for a review on my blog.
I have to tell you, my immediate gut reaction was to say no. I have never used toys before. I’ve always been a bit intimidated by them and never really felt a strong need for them. My body and the men in my life had always been enough toys for me. No need to bring electronics into the bedroom.
That being said, after reading Dr. Sadie’s Tickle My Tush book, I learned to have more of an open mind. I reached out to them and agreed to give it a shot.
I informed my boyfriend, CK about my new toy and anxiously awaited its arrival. This toy in particular intrigued me because I thought it might be geared just for me. Many times, in order to climax, I need my prostate stimulated manually. I’d been with a lot of men, but CK was the first to finally crack this code. It was an immense relief on my own self-esteem as a man, and it did wonders for our sex life. So, in a way, a prostate stimulator was right up my alley (pun intended).
When my Mangasm Edge arrived, I was both excited and a little apprehensive. Few things have been in my backside over the years — A few fingers and a few man parts, but never anything other than that. I wasn’t quite ready to relinquish all control, so on the first test run, I didn’t engage with CK. On a night we spent apart, I broke out a pack of batteries, and after giving it a shot I was pleasantly surprised.
I took things very slow, and there was a small bit of discomfort at first, but that quickly passed once I relaxed. I just wasn’t used to it yet. With a little maneuvering, I was able to find my “he-spot” with ease. And boy did it hit the spot!
I have to admit, I was worried about the vibration aspect of the Edge. I wasn’t sure that was something I wanted, but I figured I’d decide that after feeling it first. When I got the vibration to the perfect amount, the pleasure increased dramatically. The good news is, the vibration is not just one setting. It is easily adjustable by the user. There certainly is a learning curve on the vibration aspect of this toy, but once you get it, you get it!
With the help of the Mangasm Edge, when I finally reached orgasm, it was amazing. It was different from any other time I’d reached orgasm, and this new sensation was very much welcomed. I was one happy camper. I would highly recommend this toy for anyone who needs that extra little help to get him to climax. And, even if that’s not the case, it’s an overall fun toy to bring into the bedroom.
The next step for me is to use it with my boyfriend. Rather than being a replacement for those steamy nights together, I imagine this is something that will bring us closer together.
So, if you’re interested in any of these products, roboticblowjob.com is offering 20% off if you use the code: OGAAT.
Christmas is right around the corner too. Perhaps that special man in your life could use a little more stimulation this holiday season. Gift the gift of orgasm this holiday season, cause who couldn’t use more of those!?
It had been some time since I got to spend some alone time with Clark Kent. I didn’t see him Monday, but the following day at work, we texted each other constantly counting down the minutes until we’d be together again. I was going to his place after work. I knew he was horny, but I had a long day at work. I was a bit tired and waited to relax and lay around together. That wasn’t the case.
Warning: The following may be too graphic for some. We fooled around in bed for some time before he asked if he could f#ck me. I got into position, and we went at it. Something was different this time. He was going much deeper than usual. This didn’t hurt or provide discomfort. It actually felt good. When we were finished, we hopped in the shower to clean up.
Afterwards, we returned to the bed, and this time, it was my turn. He laid on his stomach with his back arched waiting for me to mount him. It was incredibly hot. The sex this time was a bit different as well. I was going deeper inside him. He expressed his pleasure derived from this and commented on how hard I was the whole time. The sex that night was purely amazing. We both thoroughly enjoyed ourselves and each other. Our chemistry was right on that night.
The plan was to spend the night in Hoboken. I had a Groupon to use up for a restaurant on the waterfront, Trinity, so we stopped there on the way back to my apartment. The conversation over dinner was great. We were both feeling very casual and catching up on everything we missed being separated over the weekend.
In the middle of one of our conversation I accidentally slipped the phrase “my kid.” I was hoping to gloss over it, and he wouldn’t notice. When I finished my sentence, he inquired, “You want a kid?” I explained that I did, but the timing was still to be determined. I turned the question on him, and he expressed the desire to have a kid. That’s when I told him my plan that would work should we decide to raise a child together. We both had sisters. I proposed that if his sister donated an egg, and my sperm fertilized it, it would be of the blood of both our families. That way, neither would be detached from that child. It would be a part of both of us. The same would work with his sperm and my sister’s egg. It does create the Aunt Mommy problem, but I still think it’s a great idea.
Everything just felt right. This guy was great. My mention of having kids one day didn’t even scare him off. If anything, he said it turned him on. Where did he come from? What did I do to deserve him? He was purely amazing.
When we finished, we walked home to my apartment. We talked about the sex we had earlier that evening. We discussed the deep penetration and how much pleasure we both got out of it. I loved our frank conversations. We could talk about anything.
I said, “I have a word that is on the tip of my tongue. I find myself wanting to say it on numerous occasions, but I’m just not sure if I’m ready for it yet. We only know each other for a month, and I’m not trying to rush things, but I just wanted you to know where my head was at. I’m exceptionally fond of you. I love spending time with you. I love being with you. I love getting to know you…”
In a few moments, after dozing off, he woke again. He turned to me and had something to say. He stopped himself short. He wasn’t sure if I’d said something to him or if he dreamed it. He didn’t want to say it aloud in case he did dream it, but I insisted he tell me. I know he was analyzing what I’d said earlier, and I wanted to be sure he heard me.
Sure enough, it was what I’d said before. He asked me if it was real or not real, a line from The Hunger Games. I assured him it was very real. With that, we exchanged a passionate kiss, turned out the light and went to bed.Follow @onegayatatime
Waking up with one of the sexiest men I’d ever met, Clark Kent, in my arms would make any morning spectacular. On top of that, I had no obligations to fulfill that day. It was Saturday, and I was ready to lounge around. Sure I had plans to go to the gym and grocery store, but that would wait until much later. Right then, there was a gorgeous specimen of a man in my bed, and I wasn’t going to let him go to waste.
I cuddled and snuggled with him. It was finally 11:00am when I was conscious enough to remain awake for more than a few seconds to shift our spooning positions. I don’t think there was a moment we weren’t in contact with each other throughout the night. Even when we were sleeping on opposite sides of the bed, my hand was on his thigh.
Warning: The following may be too graphic for some. When we woke, things started slow and progressed rather quickly. We were both naked before we knew it. Eventually, we found ourselves in a familiar position. I had my face buried in his backside. He always derived great pleasure from this, and I wasn’t shy about delivering. I even pulled out some of the tricks I learned in the Tickle My Tush book once again. Oral penetration eventually led to full penetration. He felt amazing, and I was not in any hurry to stop. Every thrust was better than the last, however, whenever I slowed the pace to both give myself a break and to enjoy the friction, he would protest, “DON’T STOP!” I picked the pace back up again and pushed as deep as I could go. He let out constant moans of pleasure, this time at a decent volume until he needed to stop to catch his breath.
He immediately turned over to face me with a look of exhaustion/excitement in his eyes. “Baby! You feel AMAZING!” he exclaimed. I dove on top of him and began to kiss him passionately. I told him how great he felt as well between zealous kisses. I took his legs and lifted them high and began to penetrate him again. It felt incredible. When I finally stopped, he said, “I love when you take me from behind, but this way… I dunno. You just hit the spot every time!”
We laid intertwined with each other enjoying the moment. We had great sexual chemistry. It had been such a long time since I’d shared that on top of chemistry outside the bedroom. Standard issue seemed to be one or the other as of late. CK was the full package.
After considerable amounts of cuddling, he climbed on top of me while I arched my back and gave him everything he wanted. I knew that morning my roommate’s friend slept over. I’d already heard them up and talking. I was a bit reserved in my morning romp with CK out of slight embarrassment. While I didn’t care if they knew I was having sex, I didn’t want to be overly loud about it. I buried my face in the pillow and let out my grunts and moans through a heavy down filter. When the moment hit, he pulled out and finished on my back.
Most straight women don’t understand this, but when a guy finishes on you, it can be incredibly hot, not something to turn your nose up at. It is a sign that you truly excite them. For me it’s validation, and it’s an incredible aphrodisiac. Many times, seeing a guy shoot is what it takes for me to finish as well. He asked where I kept the towels, but I was incapable of words. Only grunts came out. I tried with all my might to use my arm to reach down to my nightstand drawer, but no matter how much I concentrated, I could not move. I finally gave in and just lay there accepting defeat. “I’m glued to the bed,” I told him. “You will be glued if you roll over onto your back,” he added through a laugh. My body was in full orgasm. After about ten minutes, I regained composure and handed him a towel to wipe my back.
We rotated and lay in each other’s embrace. I was enjoying everything about him. He was witty. He was fun and adventurous. He was smart. He was incredibly sexy. Most of all he was passionate and caring. He was exactly what I needed – Exactly what I was looking for. We enjoyed the embrace for some time before he finally began orally pleasuring me – One of his favorite activities.
This time it felt amazing. I closed my eyes and concentrated on how good it felt. I imagined penetrating him and his mouth being his insides. It felt amazing. I thought about how good it would feel to explode inside of him, and that’s when it finally happened. I gave out a warning, and began to explode like a fountain. CK was greatly excited by this and took advantage. “Wow! You really weren’t kidding. Hidden talent indeed,” he added. I simply smiled and began giggling from his gentle touch tickling me.
I was so incredibly relieved. I’d finally finished with him. I didn’t want him to take it personally or worse, think I was broken. I told him early on of my issue, but he seemed to be quite understanding of it. That doesn’t mean he didn’t bring it up periodically, further stressing me on the issue, but regardless, I finished and made him happy.
We made our way to the shower, where the fun only continued. We quickly found ourselves back in bed together sans clothing or towels. We just lay intertwined for almost an hour. We’d already spent the entire morning and part of the afternoon together in bed. He was answering texts on his phone periodically and showed me a text from his mother. It mentioned being at [One Gay At A Time’s] and her reply was: “Hoboken sounds nice. Why don’t you look for a place there?” However, he told me he couldn’t afford any studios in Hoboken. I was touched he’d mentioned me to his mother and was excited he actually entertained the idea of living in Hoboken.
When my empty stomach couldn’t take it anymore, I suggested I make us breakfast. I told him to stay in bed while I whipped something up. I took some of my world-class pork and apple sausages out of the freezer, scrambled some eggs with cheddar cheese, and buttered some toast. I returned to the room to get his coffee flavor or choice and let him know breakfast was ready. He emerged shortly thereafter and joined me for breakfast. “If you’re trying to win me over, you’re going about it all the right way!” he said after shoveling some of the sausage into his mouth. This was the second time I’d heard him say this.
After we finished eating we made our way to the couch. We were both shirtless the entire morning and afternoon. My roommates and their friends came and went and we paid them no attention. We watched TV and movies all afternoon. When it was getting to be about 4:00, he admitted defeat and suggested he just stay. He wasn’t going to make any progress finding an apartment at that point, and he much rather stay with me anyway. With that, we both smoked a little and enjoyed each other’s company in front of the TV.
We ordered Mediterranean for dinner, opened a special bottle of Malbec I’d been saving for the right guy and had more of the pineapple upside down cake for dessert. We watched Bridesmaids and other movies the rest of the night. We stayed on the couch all day until we both passed out. When he finally woke me, it was 1:30am, and we made our way to bed. I was exhausted, and I’d done absolutely nothing all day long. It was some of the best absolutely nothing I’ve ever done. Every last second of it.Follow @onegayatatime
The idea that I was in LA for work completely faded from my mind, as did the trysts I’d met since my arrival. After meeting The Navigator, I was on cloud 9 since we hung out on the beach. He was an amazing guy, and I knew if we lived in the same city, we’d be dating.
Before going to bed, we exchanged a few messages around 2:00am. “Hiya handsome. Sorry for texting you so late. Just wanted to say hello,” he texted. I texted back, “Miss you lots. Can’t wait to see you again!” I didn’t care if I was being a bit aggressive; I was being honest. I had nothing to lose here, and I needed to get back to being more honest with myself and the guys I date.
The next morning, I woke up to my early alarm alone in my bed and immediately missed his presence. I quickly looked to my phone to see if I had a message. I did! “The pix of you on the hike turned out great! You look so handsome!” The previous night, we became Facebook friends. This wasn’t the text I was looking for, but it still made me happy.
I had a plan to go for a run that morning, and should I still have the energy, I would take a dip in the pool. I’d gone to the weight room and the pool the night before from 10:30-11:30. Even with all the guys I was spending time with, I was finding time for myself. I needed to get myself in line on this trip as well. I’d been floundering for far too long.
When I finished my run, I checked my phone, and I still didn’t have a message from The Navigator. I decided to take a dip in the hot tub to relax my muscles and take my mind off the excitement I anticipated all day. Finally, my phone lit up: “Morning! We have a call out for the next shift, so if there are no volunteers we draw straws. Keep your fingers crossed for me pal!”
My heart sank. There was no possibility he wouldn’t be joining me on the PCH until now. Now, I had to prepare myself for the idea this drive would be solo. If you recall, I HATE being alone. I don’t do well alone. I get depressed. This was one of the fears I had booking this trip, but I wanted to force myself to get used to it if I had to. I quickly responded, “Tell your boy to take one for the team. You have a hot date 🙂 Fingers crossed.”
I hopped out of the hot tub and made my way back to my room to shower and get ready for my road trip. I tried not to think about an empty passenger seat until I got another text: “:( Looks like there may be a surgery… If the owner approves the estimate, then it’s no longer a choice. I’m [Dr.’s] surgery tech. Still a slim chance :(“
I was now facing the fact I would be driving alone. It was supposed to be a nice day, so I convinced myself I would be fine. It was going to be an exciting drive up the coast. I was going to go all the way up to Santa Barbara and check things out along the way. I still wanted to see him, so I asked, “What time would you be done ish?”
He didn’t answer me immediately. After I packed my bags, I got another text: “I’m gonna stop dragging my heels. Everyone is looking to me. UGH!!! It’s another full shift, but then I have the next day and a half off. So, I’ll be off at 5:30.” I could accept that, but I asked, “Can I see you then?” He immediately responded, “I’ll hurry home as soon as I can… yes!”
I told him I was packing up the car and about to hit the road. “I’ll aim to be back in the area around 5:30. Let me know closer to then what’s up… Maybe we’ll just meet somewhere since I don’t have to come back to the hotel. Sad I’m not spending the day with you, but I understand completely… Looking forward to this evening!” I added. With that, I hopped in the car and made my way to Porto’s Bakery for an amazing Cuban Medianoche sandwich that was incredibly difficult to eat in the car, a chocolate croissant and an iced mocha latte. If you even happen to be in Glendale, check this place out. It’s amazing!
I drove all the way up the coast taking in all the sights. At one point, Highway 1 cuts inland. I wasn’t paying attention, and I ended up in the middle of the orange groves and strawberry patches. I watched the motorcycle gangs as I passed them with envy. I would have killed to have my motorcycle out there. I get out of the care until I reached Santa Barbara. I pulled up to the beach and stood up for the first time in a few hours. I stretched out and broke out my camera to snap some pictures. It was a gorgeous area, and all I could think about was living there. I could move to LA, marry an amazing man, and we could retire to Santa Barbara. That’s when my thoughts jumped right back to The Navigator.
“Santa Barbara misses you,” I texted him. I was still disappointed he wasn’t with me, but I wasn’t going to let it ruin my drive. I had a sick convertible, no real timetable, and the freedom to do whatever I wanted. The ride up did allow me some clarity. I cleared my head of all the thoughts of the past. Everything was forward-looking.
After I had my fill of Santa Barbara, I made my way inland to Ojai. I’d always wanted to check it out since I seen Brothers and Sisters. The family business was there and it always looked gorgeous on-screen. I climbed up one side of winding mountains and down the other. I pulled off the side of the road a few times to take in the beauty of it all and snap some pictures for posterity.
When I arrived down into Ojai proper, I was shocked by how small town it was. I was out in rural farmland. It didn’t quite feel like home because the geography was very different from home, but it was very nice to see this side of the West Coast. I called my parents to tell them I was searching for Nora (a character on Brothers and Sisters), and they both laughed at me. They’d forgotten I was out there for work/vacation, and they expressed their jealousy. I thought about my new friend as well, texting, “Ojai misses you too.” Finally, he responded. I knew he was busy working, so I was surprised to get a response. “What’s Ojai? Pic?” he asked. When I told him, he added, “I miss you :)” I was swooning a little bit.
I told him I was on my way back to LA and asked where he worked. He told me the name of the street, and I added, “Maybe I should meet you there. Then I’m not venturing that far from the airport.” He’d forgotten I had to catch a flight. I told him it would just mean more time we would get to spend together.
As I passed through Santa Monica, I reached out to him once again: “What’s the plan Stan? At Venice Beach. Was gonna drive down to Marina Del Ray… Could come out there and let me take you out to dinner.” I waited a long time to hear from him again. I even stopped at a Starbucks so I could park the car and walk around a bit. I ordered a coffee and walked out onto the pier in Venice Beach to take some pictures of the ocean. I still had a lot of time to kill, so I sat in the Starbucks charging my laptop while I wrote a blog entry.
Then I got a text from him I wish I’d never read: “Hey pal. I think I’m gonna have to skip hanging out. I’m exhausted. I just want to sleep. I hate to do that to you. I know you’ve been waiting. I’m not even gonna drive home. Gonna sleep at a coworkers place a couple blocks away. Didn’t really get to sleep before the shifts started. I had an amazing time with you and would love it if we stayed in touch. Hope you have a safe flight home and maybe I can come visit you in Jersey (hint hint) Muah handsome… Thanks for everything :)” I was heartbroken. All I could think to respond was, “Wish I at least got to say goodbye.” He quickly shot back, “I know. Me too… I’m just very tired.”
This wasn’t good enough for me. “Let me know if I can at least come and say goodbye. If not, it’s cool…” I sent in an attempt to strike and emotional chord. When I got no response, I called him – No answer.
He texted back, “Still at work. Can text, but not talk. I’ll call you at 5:30 handsome.” I would have to be patient. I know my usual aggressive style, so I tried to curb that bad habit. When the clock reached 5:45, I called him again — No answer. I texted him again, “I have the time to kill. I could come and say bye and you go to sleep. I get it if you’re too tired to hang.” More time passed, and I still didn’t hear from him. I was emotionally beginning to panic. I knew the time to say goodbye was going to come, and I tried to prepare myself for it. But, to not have that at all rocked me a little.
Now, I was grasping at straws. I changed course and sped back to downtown LA. I called him over and over again while I weaved in and out of cars. Maybe if I wasn’t so locked in on one thing, I would have realized I could actually deal with LA traffic with the skills I was exercising.
In a last stitch effort, I texted, “In the middle of LA hoping I can come say goodbye before I go to the airport. Please call.” Silence. He’d gone dark on me. I was so disappointed in him. I thought we shared something special. I wanted him as a friend, and he was abandoning me. I was being very selfish, but so was he. I admitted defeat and gave up:
“Heading to airport. Sorry. I wasn’t trying to make a big deal about it. Just wanted to give a proper goodbye, even if just for two minutes. Get some rest. Def stay in touch. Hope I made a good friend on this trip! You’re a great guy! You have a place to stay any time you want to visit New Jersey/New York! Would love it if you called tomorrow when you wake up! 🙂 Stay sexy!”
He never called. When I got home, he never Facebook messaged me either. I was very disappointed. I wasn’t giving in that easily though. I texted him days later to see if he’d truly cut me off completely: “Hey stud. How’s it going? Just wanted to say hi.” I was happy to see a response some time later: “Hey 🙂 Sorry I didn’t say goodbye. I’m not very good at that type of thing. I know it wasn’t very nice. I had a wonderful time with you though. How is everything?”
We continued to text each other periodically over time. He even called me one day, but I missed his call. I hope I have a true friend in him. He really is a great guy, and if I can’t have him as my own, I’ll take him as a friend. I look forward to the day I can see him again. Maybe work will send me out there again. Maybe he’ll come to New Jersey for a visit. Maybe I’ll make a true pleasure trip out there and see him on my own. Who knows???Follow @onegayatatime