Posts Tagged one-night-stand

Letting Him Down Easy

Monday, I decided to be a good brother and pick my sister up from the airport. I drove her to Newark Airport early Friday morning before all of my Grindring, and she was arriving around 2:00.

Before I hopped in the car, I made plans with M.E. to meet up later that day. I wasn’t planning to tell him I knew about his Grindring from my bedroom. I was just going to keep that in mind when interacting with him. I wasn’t going to let myself fall for a guy like that. For us, it would be purely fun. He told me he had class that afternoon, but he would come meet me on the pier when he finished.

I was regretting agreeing to pick my sister up since it landed smack in the middle of my day. I wanted to head out to the pier and get some color while I was off from work. The forecast was looking gorgeous for the week, and I planned to take full advantage. I decided not to waste the morning and went for a run around 1:00. I came back to my apartment, showered and packed a bag for the pier. I hopped in the car and headed to the airport. My sister was delayed, so I spent about a half hour circling the grounds. When she finally touched down, I parked in front of her terminal and began reading my first Out magazine. I was becoming a full-on gay man. I finally subscribed to a clearly homosexual publication.

She came out, and I drove her back to Hoboken. We swung by the pier to drop be me off so I could get some sun, and she went home.

Around 3:30, M.E. joined me on the pier. We laid next to each other talking for a bit. I gently stroked his hand with mine. We weren’t being blatant or obvious, but we still found ways to show affection. It was a nice time. Around 4:30, the sun was beginning to set. The temperature was dropping, so I suggested we head back to my apartment. I wasn’t even thinking about this in terms of sex. I was just cold.

He gave me a ride back to my place and decided to come up for a bit. He couldn’t stay too long because he had plans for the evening. We ended up in my bedroom fooling around a bit. It was nice to have him in my bed again. Every time we were together, I enjoyed myself.

The time came for him to leave, and I said goodbye to him at the door with a kiss.

Over the next week, I didn’t really reach out to M.E., and he didn’t really hit me up either. When enough time had gone by, I assumed he met someone else. I was trying to get away from the relationships based on sex, so I wasn’t exactly protesting or questioning why his calls stopped.

One day I got a text from him asking me why we hadn’t been in touch in some time. I told him I assumed he met someone else. He assured me this wasn’t the case. He told me the reason he was so quiet was because he was trying to create distance. He was beginning to fall for me and didn’t want to get hurt. This is when I pointed out to him I knew he was on Grindr when he was at my apartment. I didn’t tell him how I knew this information. At first, he denied it and told me he was chatting with his friends about his spring break trip postponement. I acknowledged that, but also pointed out he was on Grindr while he was in my apartment. I told him how insulting that was to me. I pointed out how, by no means, were we exclusive, but to be on the app while sitting with me was not something I looked kindly upon. He apologized profusely. I told him I noticed he blocked me on Grindr as well. He told me the reason for this was because he saw me on there periodically, and it was killing him. He was imagining me with other guys, and it was getting to him so much he blocked me so he wouldn’t have to see it anymore. I told him I wasn’t holding anything against him, but it was shaping how I looked at whatever was going on between us.

He was completely torn up about it. I had a lot of other things going on in my life at the time, and I didn’t really feel like getting into it with him. I was partially using this as a way to make a clean break from him. I liked him and cared about him more than a one-night-stand. I considered him a friend who I also happened to enjoy in my bed. He was more friend than benefit. I didn’t want to hurt, but I also needed separation. There was too much going on in my life at the time. He begged me to talk on the phone, but I told him that would have to wait. I lied and told him I was with friends and didn’t want to be rude by taking a phone call.

I knew he wasn’t happy, and it wasn’t what he wanted. I needed to think about me for a change. I needed to put more effort into the men I was meeting and looking toward a long-term relationship with, rather than the men I just enjoyed having around for sex and a little companionship. It wasn’t fair to him, and it wasn’t what I needed. The time came to move on. How that would shape my relationship with M.E. was yet to be determined…

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Stood Up Twice But Third Time’s a Charm

So much for getting things out of my system while in California. I was supposed to find myself while I was out there. I was supposed to calm down with the hookups. If anything, it had a converse reaction. Maybe it jump-started my libido. Since I arrived home, I had one meaningless one-night stand/hookup, and hooked up with a guy I could possibly considering seeing again. What was I, in college?

Wednesday at work, I was back to my old habits. I was all over Grindr searching for guys to go on dates with. The problem was none of them were looking for dates, so I decided to fill the time between dates with more hookups.

I hit up one of the guys in my favorite list, but he was really just interested in sex. We tried to make plans to meet up, but were having a hard time finding a location. He proposed an adult video store booth, but as you can imagine, I wasn’t onboard. He also wanted to go bareback, but I’d learned my lesson with that. No more taking those kinds of chances. When I tried to make more realistic plans, he flaked.

I started talking to one guy who was really hot. He wanted to hookup badly, but he needed time. He needed to prepare, which I can heavily respect, but he was also visiting. He needed to go out and get supplies to perform said preparation and needed to find poppers. It was pushing 6:00, and I wasn’t going to hang around the city any longer. He ended bailing on me, so I made my way home alone.

Two guys flaked on me; however, talking to them got me riled up. My libido was hungry. When did I become such a horn ball. After 25 years of basically no sex, you think I’d be fine going home with just my right hand.

I had an ace in the hole though. I texted the Middle Eastern guy from the pervious night and asked if he wanted to come over again. I don’t think I lifted my finger off the send button before I got a response back. He was certainly interested, but had to come over later after class. He wouldn’t arrive until around 10. That was fine. I figured out other things to do with my time, like eat dinner.

When he arrived, we went straight to my room, but I’m sure, much to your surprise, we didn’t immediately jump in the sack. We kissed for a bit, but then we simply laid next to each other cuddling while we watched Modern Family. We are both big fans!

Every time there was a commercial, he took the opportunity to kiss me passionately. There were no complaints from me. He was a great kisser. He had perfect lips and knew what he was doing. We also took the time to chat a bit. I wanted to get to know him a little. He lived with a bunch of guys in an apartment and even shared a room with a guy. None of them knew he was gay, and he recently broke up with a girl. He told me he’d been on a handful of Grindr meet-ups, but none were anything like what we shared. He told me how much he enjoyed the previous night and how much he thought about me all day long. It was very flattering, and a little alarming. This kid was falling for me — and fast. I needed to make sure things didn’t get out of control because I didn’t want to hurt him.

I couldn’t tell him what I was looking for because I didn’t know what I was looking for. I really wanted to find a boyfriend, but I wasn’t sure he fit the bill. This was new territory. I’d never dated anyone so much younger than me, let alone still in college. He was a really nice guy, and I could tell his friends loved him, but I was still conflicted. He was very mature, but nonetheless, he was still in school.

When the show was over, the making out led to heavy petting. Things escalated, and I invited him to spend the night. While naked, he walked to the bathroom to take out his contacts. I watched him from the bed, staring longingly at his body. I told him how hot I thought he was. He really riled me up. I loved the innocent confidence he exuded. It was incredibly sexy.

He told me he wanted to go to bed horny so we could wake in the morning and have some real fun. It was late, and I was tired, so I didn’t oppose. With that, he rolled into little spoon position, and I pressed my naked body against his in big spoon position. It felt so comfortable. It felt so right.

In the morning we both woke to the sound of my alarm — strategically set early to allow for time to play. We were both in a very frisky and playful mood. He certainly wasn’t shy about kissing. He loved it and did it often.

Warning: The following may be too graphic for some. While we embraced each other, he whispered in my ear how he wanted to ride me. I certainly was in no position to deny him this privilege. I was looking forward to it. I was shocked, him being so new, how much he was gung-ho about bottoming. I think he discovered he’s really a bottom. He hopped on, and it felt great. He came really close to finishing, but never did. I knew exactly what was happening, so I didn’t put any pressure on him or comment on it. That would only bring it to top of mind and make it worse.

He had to stop. He wanted to keep going, but told me he was sore. He informed me that I was a big guy. I’d never really thought of myself as big. I always thought of myself as average. But, as of late, I was informed otherwise. (This is not something that is important to me, but it is quite the ego boost to hear).

We laid next to each other once again pleasuring ourselves while he laid in the crook of my arm. I finished after a few minutes. I was happy things were turning around for me. It wasn’t taking a long time for me anymore. I was far from a one-minute man, but my mental block was easing. This wasn’t the case for Middle Eastern (will be called M.E. from now on). He never finished, but also never complained. He noted, “I can never [finish] after you’re inside me. I can’t explain it. It feels amazing, like a full body orgasm, but I just never shoot.” I knew exactly what he meant. I told him it’s just part of sex sometimes. I wanted to ease his mind.

With that, we both hopped in the shower, and I took the opportunity to wash him from head to toe with a bar of soap and my hands. It was really sexy and slightly romantic. We both enjoyed it. Then he did the same to me. It felt great!

While I get ready in front of the mirror, he noted its existence. He complimented me on what I was wearing to work. He really was charming and sexy. I was really starting to like this kid. I just worried we wouldn’t be able to have a real relationship. He was in the closet and in college. He told me he wasn’t hiding it anymore, but he was advertising it. I understood, but I just wasn’t sure if it was for me

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Pocket Gay

Things with Smiles had soured, and I was already getting back into the dating game. I found a guy who I thought I’d have a connection with on Grindr and set up a date. When the date didn’t go swimmingly, I made my way home.

I was horny — Really horny. Smiles and I had a sparse sex-life. This could quite possibly be a result of my inability to climax at the drop of the hat, or it could have been a result of something else. Regardless, I was hungry for some good sex. I’d come close a few nights earlier to succumbing to the temptation of a Grindr booty call, but in the end, I behaved myself. I hopped on the computer and managed to take care of myself.

Tonight I wouldn’t be so well behaved. I knew I could find a guy to selfishly pleasure me without much effort on my part, both in the search and in the bedroom. This may sound disgusting to some, but we are all animals when you get down to it. We have sexual desires and drives that need to be satiated. I held no loyalty to one man at the time, so I felt no guilt. The other guy would be quite aware of what he was getting into — A one-night-stand.

I didn’t always have this mindset. In fact, I can specifically remember a conversation I had with N about sex and relationships. At the time, I didn’t believe I could have sex without having an emotional attachment to. He didn’t have the same mentality. I found it ironic since I was further along the gay timeline than he was. I would have thought our positions would have been the opposite.  Obviously, if you read my blog, you know my position has changed. I know I am capable of having sex outside a relationship.

I’m not proud of this, and this is far from and ideal situation for me. However, at times, my animal instincts take over and my libido craves for satisfaction.

On my walk home, I fired up Grindr. I began chatting with a few people, but there wasn’t much talent. One of the guys seemed decently cute, but I wasn’t sold just yet. I was still on the hunt. We talked a little bit, and I realized we’d spoken a bit on adam4adam.com.

I hit up a bunch of other guys. I was tempted to hit up one of the two friends with benefits I’d established over the summer, but better thinking kicked in. I didn’t want to open up that can of worms again.

When the night was drawing on, I decided to settle for the decent guy on Grindr. He was a really nice, genuine guy. I could tell he’d been judged for his smaller stature based on his adam4adam profile. I felt a connection in our current lack of self-esteem.

We talked a bit more about what the night would entail. It was getting quite late, and he wasn’t thrilled with having to trudge around Hoboken late in the night. I did the unthinkable. I told him to come over and said he could spend the night.

When he arrived, he came directly to my room. I was a little disappointed. He looked better in his pictures, and he was quite small, but I looked on the brighter side. I really enjoyed feeling strong in the bedroom, and it meant I could toss him around a little bit. We casually chatted while I sat on the bed, and he removed his coat and shoes. He joined me on the bed, and we began to make out.

We had protected sex and both of us rather enjoyed ourselves. I showered and then invited him to do the same before going to bed.

When I woke in the morning, it was a bit awkward. I had to go to work, but I also had to get rid of him so I could get ready. I woke with enough time to do both. I politely hinted it was time for him to go so I wouldn’t be late. He quickly got the hint, but he wasn’t going to leave immediately.

He decided to give a parting gift. He climbed down under the sheets and started pleasing me orally. He was good. He was very good. Surprisingly, it didn’t take long before I finished — For the second time in less than twelve hours. If this kid was more my type we surely would have started a thing that morning. He surely knew my libido and how to satiate it. Morning is when I am horniest, and the fact that he just went for it really got my engine revving.

I hopped in the shower while he got dressed. After my shower, I escorted him to the door. I was trying to avoid my roommate from seeing him, but I failed. I gave him a gentle kiss at the door and said goodbye. My roommate then said, “I guess the date went really well last night.” I didn’t feel the need to lie, but I didn’t want to get into it. “He wasn’t the one I went on the date with,” I added with a grin. And with that, I simply walked away.

I texted him that afternoon thanking him for coming by and telling him I had a good time. Later, he texted me saying, “Me too :). Do you wanna grab dinner or something sometime? If you aren’t interested or were just looking for a one-time thing, I’d totally respect that. Not trying to sound crazy. Haha. You just seem like a really nice guy, so thought I’d ask.” Apparently, I’d done it again. A guy who knew he was coming over for a hookup wanted more than just sex. I wasn’t interested in him for anything else, so I let him down gently. “Gonna be honest with you. You deserve at least that. Just ended a relationship this week, so I need to figure out me right now… Make sense?” He was quite classy and responded, “Absolutely man. Sorry to hear. Mine ended back in September. Dated over a year. It’s rough. Hit me up sometime :).”

I did need to figure myself out a bit. But, there was no reason I couldn’t do that while simultaneously playing with “Mr. Right Now” and searching for “Mr. Right.”

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