Posts Tagged genuine
Just Add Water
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on November 9, 2012
CK and I were having a very long holiday weekend, and we were only half way through it. As CK wanted to go to the Scissor Sisters concert on Friday, which ended up happening on Saturday, I wanted to spend the weekend with my friends as well. We made plans before the weekend kicked off, and we were going to try to stick to it.
Early Sunday morning, CK and I woke up and quickly got ready for the day. We hopped on my motorcycle and made our way to Hoboken. We were catching a ride with K to her parents’ house on Mohawk Lake. Since it was an hour drive, K wanted to leave early. Of course, we made it back to Hoboken and finished getting ready just in the nick of time to stay on her schedule. K’s roommates, D and G, and D’s girlfriend were also joining us. The five of us were spending the day on the water, tubing, swimming and lounging in the sun.
When we arrived at the lake, we visited with K’s mother before prepping the boat. We all piled in, along with all the proper refreshments, and shoved off the dock. I was excited for a nice relaxing day on the lake. The weekend was off to a bit of a chaotic start, and I needed a day to hit the reset button. Everyone else was drinking, but that was the last thing I needed. For me, the sun was all I needed to be happy. I just wanted to lay out on the back of the boat and work on my tan.
Before breaking out the tube, we drove to the far side of the lake to drop anchor and hang out in the cove. The water was smooth, and there weren’t many people out on the lake. In usual fashion, wherever CK went, so did his music. We weren’t even out of the dock before he was plugging in his music. I wasn’t opposed to music in general, but he was playing all the songs we’d heard the night before. I could also tell, Scissor Sisters weren’t exactly my friends’ cup of tea. However, this was not something I was about to engage in. I found my happy place, laid out a towel, and tried to drift off in the warmth of the sun.
When I got hot, I decided to hop in. Everyone else had already taken a dip. It was the perfect Sunday. Everyone was relaxing and just enjoying themselves. We all talked about our weekends and caught up with each other. I’ve always liked this group of friends. They all felt like my “Seinfeld” crew. On top of that, I had my man with me. That always makes me happy.
When we were all hungry, we drove to the other end of the lake to grab a few slices of pizza for lunch. When we all finished eating, we snapped a few fun and patriotic pictures on the boardwalk of the lake.
Once we all managed to digest our food, it was time to break out the tube. K was an experienced whip cracker. Everyone took turns riding the tube with a partner. It was a blast. In her usual fashion, K was relentless when I was on the tube. I think I frustrate her sometimes, and she uses that time to take all those frustrations out on me. However, I usually manage to hold on for longer than expected. That being said, she always finds a way to get me off that giant rubber floating donut.
I especially had a lot of fun riding the tube with CK. We made a great team, and my friends snapped quite a few great shots of us both. I was happy to have such a nice day after how bad our Friday night was. We really needed a nice day together.
It wasn’t all smooth sailing however. Over the course of the day, I noticed K getting frustrated with CK. She was not only the owner of the boat, but also the captain. He wasn’t listening to instructions very well. When she was ready to hit the throttle, CK was standing on the back of the boat. When she’d need to maneuver to circle back to pick someone up who fell off the tube, he was standing to change the music. I was worried we wouldn’t be invited back again. Or worse. I would be, but I wouldn’t be able to bring him back again. I asked him to be more conscientious about her directions. “Whatever she said, goes,” I added.
When we were all sufficiently exhausted, we made our way back to K’s parents’ dock. We had a bit of a drive ahead of us.
D had his new car with him since he drove separately. I had yet to be in it, so I suggested CK and I ride with him, leaving the other two to drive together. On the ride home, we all planned to hit up D, K and G’s apartment for a bar-be-cue. It would be our last hurrah of the holiday weekend before heading back to work. D dropped us off at my place, and we got ready to head over to grill up some burgers. I quickly made a pasta salad as well because I didn’t want to show up empty handed.
I wasn’t originally aware, but we were also going to meet K’s new man. He is much younger than the rest of our group, and as a result, he spent the better portion of the evening trying to impress us. That’s a surefire way for me not to be impressed. I like genuine people, not people who put on airs and say what they think I want to hear.
Dinner was nice and very relaxing. It was the perfect end of the holiday weekend. My weekend started off very crazed and chaotic, and it ended very relaxing and serene. When it was getting late, CK and I said our goodbyes and made our way back to my apartment. I agreed to spend the night in the city at his apartment, so I quickly packed a bag before we hopped on the bus.
When we got to his place, neither of us had much energy. We quickly settled into bed and mentally prepared for the workweek coming up after having quite a few days off. CK tuned into The Rachel Maddow show while I shut my eyes and tried to fall asleep in the arms of the man I loved.
Keeping Momma Happy
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on June 20, 2012
All weekend long, Clark Kent and his mother were packing up his apartment. He still needed to live there for about two more weeks, but they put a big dent in what needed to be packed up. I was thrilled. While there was no doubt I would help him move, no one enjoys moving. No one enjoys packing and unpacking. I’d done it enough times myself.
I did try to do my part. Before I left on Sunday night, I offered to grab some boxes from work and deliver them to his apartment so his mother could continue packing while he was at work. His place was right by my gym, and I planned to take my lunch break at the gym. I grabbed as many boxes as I could from the supply room and took them over to his place.
I’d gotten his mother’s cell phone number the night before. I texted her to let her know I was on my way. She responded with many thanks.
When I arrived, she answered the door and gave me a big hug. She was very grateful and detailed for me all the progress she’d made. She was at a bit of an impasse because CK would have to make some decisions before she could pack any more.
I needed to be on my way, so I said a final goodbye to her since this was the last I’d be seeing of her on this trip. She was headed to the airport the following morning. She gave me another big hug and said, “Thank you.” I promised to keep CK in line and urge him to call home more often. She commented that he’d be in good hands with me. I was flattered and touched.
All day long, CK and I had been texting each other. We’d seen each other only a few short hours earlier, but it wasn’t enough. I missed him, and he missed me. On top of that, we hadn’t slept together since Friday night. It was shocking how quickly we’d grown so fondly attached. I was really gaga for this guy. Things were going great!
That night, I went home alone. I watched TV and wanted to call CK, but I didn’t want to interrupt his last night with his mother. I stalked him on FourSquare a bit until I learned they went to Dos Caminos for a late-night dinner.
Finally, very late that night, he called me. He’d gone up to the roof to smoke and call me. He told me he missed me and couldn’t wait for us to be together again the following night.
He detailed to me how much his mother liked me and told me how happy he was about the whole thing. I was really head over heels for this guy. Never had I felt so loved by another man. I could tell this guy was genuine. He really made me feel like a prince.
He also detailed for me how tired of his mother he was. They had spent a lot of tense time together. He was ready for a break. It’s understandable how they’d butt heads over a lot of things. I told him to stop being so mean to his mother. I pointed out to him it was Mother’s Day and she traveled all the way up north to help him. He realized what she was doing for him, and he truly appreciated it, however, her leaving would mean me arriving. We made plans for the following night and said goodnight.
Follow @onegayatatimeWorking It Out Around Work
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on June 8, 2012
Today is another Fast Forward Friday!!!
Hope you are enjoying these. It will help bring the blog a little closer to real-time. If you’re keeping up with the stories chronologically, please skip down to this morning’s post first, then read this one. I think it’s a good one! Enjoy!
Back to your special edition of One Gay At A Time…
After a special night in with CK, we woke in the morning to the sound of his alarm at 8:00am. It took him a long time to shut the alarm off, but I was too out of it to rouse him or reach over him to turn it off myself.
When we finally woke, we spent a good portion of the morning snuggling and kissing. He told me how happy he was and smiled. We tickled each other until the other protested enough to warrant stopping. We were constantly expressing our utter joy to each other. Everything he said felt extremely genuine. He always used the term “baby” to refer to me, and it made me melt every time. Either he heard me and was acting on it, or he was an extremely talented actor.
I finally managed to sneak away to hop in the shower. He was in the middle of doing laundry, so he had no clean towels, so he told me to use his on the door. I went into the bathroom. I was not feeling well the entire previous day. I was back to feeling uneasy, and I knew I needed to relieve myself. I did, and I immediately noticed how bad a smell I created. I quickly flushed and did my best to dissipate it. I turned the shower on before sitting down to mask any sounds I would create. Just as I hopped in the shower, CK came into the bathroom to offer me a fresh towel. I was mortified. I was sure he smelled the odor in the air. When he left the bathroom, he left the door open — I’m sure to vent the bathroom. There was nothing I could do about it, so I tried to forget it.
It was humorous because the night before, I was commenting on him burping and how I thought it was sexy. He was certainly masculine. I was tired of all these gay men acting like women. We’d also talked about farting in front of each other when he was at my place and how we were not at that comfort level yet. It came up again in jest while we were wrestling on the bed before my shower. He also playfully joked about picking my nose, but assure me he’d never do that, as well as going to the bathroom with the door opened — Another topic we covered when he was last at my place. It was fun that we could chat about such casual things. It showed me how real he was.
I finished my shower and came back to find him still in bed. I scooped him up and carried him to the shower. I didn’t want to be the reason he would be late. While he showered, he offered me a yogurt for breakfast. I made a few phone calls to shift a doctor’s appointment and ate while he got fresh. He returned to the bedroom and coaxed me to the bed to cuddle more before heading out to work. “Just two more minutes,” he pleaded. I was fine on time for work. It was him I was worried about. But, if he wasn’t worried, neither was I.
The subway he took was right outside my office, so we walked together. Half way there, we held hands and joked about a few things. “One thing I must say about you. You certainly make me laugh. That you certainly do,” he joked. I was smiling from ear-to-ear. I told him I would try to swing by to see him after I went out to dinner with my team to say goodbye to a coworker. Ironically enough, she was headed to his agency. He would be inheriting one of my favorite coworkers. With that, we kissed each other goodbye. “It’s all downhill from here,” he added.
During the day, I texted him to tell him a funny story about my coworker. I also added, “I had such a good morning. I’m in such a good mood! This morning was perfect.” He responded, “I walked into the office on an invisible carpet of sunshine and rainbows :). ‘You fit me better than my favorite sweater.’ ” I can only assume that was a song lyric.
Later in the day, I had a brilliant idea. “After my dinner tonight, I was planning to swing by and see you and then take a car service home. Do you have any interest in coming home with me tonight to watch Revenge instead? I don’t want you to get tired of me yet, but I thought it would be fun for us.” After a few minutes, my phone lit up with: “Best. Idea. Ever… You. Revenge. Car service. Falling asleep in your arms. And your bed. Waking up with you. And your shower. #heavenly… Enchanted carriage? Check. Castle? Check. Gorgeous, charming and no doubt horny prince? Check.” Once again, he had me smiling from ear-to-ear.
After my work dinner, I made my way to his apartment. I called him to let him know I was on my way. The dinner had lasted longer than expected. It was now close to 11:00. When I got close, he texted me to meet him on the roof. I went up there, but he was nowhere to be seen. As usual, he was running behind.
Finally he joined me on the roof. I gave him a BIG kiss. I told him a little about dinner. He had the idea, since it was supposed to be a full moon (even though we couldn’t see it through the clouds) we could meditate. He was very cute about it. He told me about it in a very roundabout way, almost as if he was embarrassed by it. I told him I would love to do that with him but some other time. I’d already called the car, and I was sure it was already waiting at my office. He was disappointed, but I assured him we would do it another time.
We walked to my office, and I took him up to show him around. I needed to grab my bag. He asked if we could get frisky, but I pointed out the cameras around the office. We made our way back downstairs and headed to Hoboken.
When we got back to my place, we immediately went into my room. We snuggled in bed for quite some time. We were also both quite excited to watch Revenge. We’d planned to watch it together, and I was quite excited.
It was really nice sharing the show with him. I knew how much he liked it, and I enjoyed it as well. I finally had someone to chat with about the show while watching. When it ended, we brushed our teeth, pulled up the covers and dozed off in each other’s arms. I was really starting to get quite used to this!
When we woke in the morning, there were copious amounts of fooling around, but no sex. It was incredible waking up next to him. From what he told me, he felt the same way waking up next to me. We enjoyed spooning and cuddling for a long time before we finally motivated ourselves to get out of bed. This was the first time CK spent the night on a work night. I made us breakfast while he showered.
He joined me in the kitchen to eat, and when I was finished, I hopped in the shower. We both got ready and walked out the door. As we descended the stairs, he pulled me aside to plant a big kiss on me. He commented on this being the first time we spent time together where sex wasn’t involved. “I actually enjoyed that it doesn’t have to always be a requirement. It’s a nice to have. Let’s just not make it a habit,” he said with a laugh.
With that comment, I started to really fall for him. We were on the same page completely. I loved sex with him, but I was actually reassured by the fact we spent the night together and didn’t have sex. It proved to me he wasn’t just into me for sex. Maybe there was something more…
Follow @onegayatatimeVintage Closet
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on May 18, 2012
Before my trip to Washington DC, I started chatting with a few guys on Grindr. It was bad timing for the trip to come right after “meeting” them, but it would have to do. On my way back home, I made plans with a few guys over text for dates to get to know them.
One of the guys I was talking to was a bit older. He seemed like a great guy, and he was very interested in me. Of all the guys I started talking to, he texted the most. He seemed sweet, caring and attentive. While away, he asked how the blossoms were. He genuinely took an interest in me. He was texting me like a high school girl. I wasn’t annoyed. I was flattered. We made plans to grab a drink Wednesday evening after work.
Since Southern Drawl didn’t want to go to The Breslin, I proposed he and I meet there for a drink. It wasn’t far from my office, and it was pretty centrally located in Manhattan. We set a time, and I stayed at the office to kill time until he could make it there.
He ended up arriving early, and he texted me to let me know. I quickly left my office and speed-walked the ten blocks to the bar to meet him.
I wasn’t sure what I’d be meeting that night. From his picture, he looked like a very mature man. He had white hair, and he told me he was possibly getting a haircut before we met. I encouraged him to keep his longer hair since I liked it, but it was his hair. I didn’t know which hairstyle I’d be meeting.
I walked in to find him standing leaning against the wall. It wasn’t too difficult to pick him out of the crowd, however, he looked much older than I originally expected. I invited him to follow me to the bar and ordered us drinks. I managed to snag two bar stools just as someone was getting up to walk away.
We dove right into conversation about work. We both worked in advertising at one point, so we discussed that for a while. The more we talked, the more relaxed the conversation became. I didn’t see this conversation growing into a relationship, but he was a really nice guy. There was no reason why I couldn’t share a few rounds with a nice guy. I really didn’t think we were compatible.
Somehow we got into philosophical conversation talking about life in general. He really liked my outlook on life. I wasn’t putting on a show or anything. I was just being myself. He really responded well to this.
During our conversation, he came clean on his age and informed me he was 36. That’s how old Smiles was, so it wasn’t the issue for me. He did, however, look more like he was 42. I wasn’t sure if I believed him about his age. I wondered if he was lowballing it.
We started talking about family and his family house in the Hamptons. We got on the topic of coming out, and I told him how fresh I was to the gay world. He responded well to this and told me he was new himself. He came out to a few of his high school friends, and apparently it didn’t go well. For them, it became a problem of an identity crisis. They didn’t know who he was anymore. I told him how positive my experience was coming out and conveyed my sympathy about his experience. He also told me his family didn’t know either. It appeared I was more gay mature than he was. This was a first. This was a 36 year-old man who was still living in the closet. I didn’t think I could handle that. If he couldn’t accept himself by that age, the road was only going to get rockier as we went along.
After three rounds, the time came to go home. He expressed his desire to go on a second date, and I let on that this was a possibility. I didn’t want to lead him on and seem overly zealous about it, but I didn’t want to break his spirit. We walked to the corner and said goodbye with a hug. We exchanged a few texts after that, but obviously nothing ever materialized.
It wasn’t that late, so I decided to text M.E. and see if he wanted to come over. He did, and when he arrived at my apartment, we immediately went to the bedroom. Warning: The following may be too graphic for some. We stripped each other naked and got right down to things. There was a bit of foreplay and a lot of making out before I reached for the condoms and lube. Since being with him, I had unprotected sex with someone else. I needed to keep his safety in mind. While in DC, my results came back with no STDs and HIV negative, but I didn’t want to take any chances. We had amazing protected sex that night and fell asleep in a spooning position.
When we woke in the morning, we fooled around until we hopped in the shower. There, we had sex once again. I’m always horny in the morning, so this was even better than the night before. When we finished showering, we went back to the bed and had sex there. At one point, I even turned over and let him penetrate me. I felt I owed it to him. He was incredibly excited about it. This didn’t last long because, as he told me, he had a hard time keeping an erection after he’d been penetrated. I was okay with this, being as it’d been a long time since I bottomed.
We laid with each other, and I tried to finish myself off but to no avail. I had a dentist appointment to get to that morning, so I could no longer dawdle. I was already late the way it was. This was going to be a rough day. How was I ever going to concentrate on anything!?
M.E. gave me a ride to the dentist, and I gave him a kiss goodbye.
Follow @onegayatatimeSouthern Hospitality
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on May 17, 2012
After my lukewarm date with the doctor, I was ready to get back out there in search for a man.
I’m happy to report, which I’m sure some of you may have suspected otherwise, I was doing a great job of staying off Grindr. Granted, it was a short period of time, but I was thoroughly proud of myself. I felt like I’d joined GA. Every day not having meaningless sex was another day of Grindr sobriety.
Tuesday after work, I arranged another date with Southern Drawl. The last date was a bit crazy. Footsie under the table. Shenanigans in the bathroom. I was curious if he’d be able to behave this time or would he be looking for another quick trip to the bathroom.
We texted during the day to lock things down. I proposed The Breslin. I’d always loved their food, their drinks and their ambiance. He shot the idea down because he said the place was always full of hipsters. I had always been a fan of Sala 19 in the Flatiron District, so I proposed we go there for dinner. It worked out well because it was halfway between our offices. He agreed.
I had to wait at work for him to finish. When he did, I made my way south to meet him. I met him on the street corner, and we walked to the restaurant.
Dinner was very nice. He was well-behaved, and the conversation was good. I told him about my allergist appointment, and he told me about his day. We talked frankly about our last date. We discussed what went on. I learned he’d never done anything like that before. I was also learning about the guys he’d dated since living in New York City. When we originally spoke on the phone, I was under the impression he was new to the gay world. I thought he’d never really dated anyone before. Now, I was learning about all the guys he dated in NYC, as well as the guy he dated through college that he said I so strongly reminded him of and resembled. It was a bit unsettling.
In the middle of dinner, he told me he’d ended things with the guy he was seeing. He explained they’d only been seeing each other for two weeks, and things were never that strong. When I probed him to ask if he left the other guy because he met me or if he did it because he wasn’t satisfied with the previous guy, he told me it was the latter, but part of it was also due to meeting me. A big red flag went off in my head. Would he leave me for a better model?
I still wasn’t sure about him. I liked talking to him. I liked being with him. He was smart. He was nice. He wasn’t flamboyant, however, I wondered if maybe he was too “straight.” He was a bit homophobic. I’m not the most open about my sexuality. I’m not out to everyone at work. I don’t openly advertise my sexuality. However, if he wasn’t comfortable with himself, how could we be comfortable with each other. I couldn’t be sure about him. Was he right for me? I had no idea. Only more time could tell. I was keeping a distance as we moved forward. We had a connection, but was it strong enough to last? Was it what I wanted?
In our conversations, his southern entitlement shined through. It was an incredible turnoff. Where was the southern charm I’d seen so many times in movies. When I think of the ideal man, I think of Matthew McConaughey. He definitely has an ego and self-confidence, but he also exudes charm and sexuality. His confidence is not in your face, and he seems down-to-earth. Southern Drawl fit the other Hollywood archetype — The Southern plantation owner. He had an air or superiority that was hard to swallow. Many times, he laughed off these comments, making them seem like a joke, but I wondered if there was really something deep down that was more genuine. I wasn’t ready to date a snob. That $hit wouldn’t fly with me. I wasn’t going to let him get away with it, and I’d already started calling him on it.
When we finished eating, we split the bill and walked north to the PATH station. I said goodbye to him ont he street with barely a hug. He was uncomfortable exchanging a kiss with me in front of a city of strangers. I wasn’t thrilled by that.
On my ride home, I questioned why I was continuing to see Southern Drawl. He was definitely interested in me, and I was still intrigued by him. I wasn’t ready to write him off just yet, but I didn’t see a lot of promise or potential. I would continue to see other men and continue to see him until I was ready to make a definitive decision.
Follow @onegayatatimeSpecial Forces
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on March 6, 2012
My time in San Francisco ended. I was thrilled I finally got to meet the online friend I’d shared so much of my life with over the past two years. We grew much closer in the little time I spent with him. I was already looking forward to the next time I would get to see him.
Early Saturday morning, I made my way to the airport. I was off to Chicago to finish out my week-long work trip. I’ve actually begun to look forward to these plane trips. It’s one of the few times I can sit and concentrate on writing blog entries without any distractions.
As I boarded the plane, I made my way past first class to my standard seat. I was happy to see it was a newer plane with slightly extended leg room. Being 6’2″, flying has become quite uncomfortable these days. I look forward to the day I get an upgrade, but those days seem to happen about once a year, even with status.
I was also thrilled to find I was sitting next to a very good-looking man with a great body. I could tell this guy was no weekend warrior. He spent a lot of time taking care of himself. I was enamored by his square jaw line and cute dimples. He started chatting me up when they announced the upgrade of six passengers to first class. Since we are both larger gentlemen, we jealously talked about their comfort levels with a certain level of “good for them.” I asked him what he does and learned he was a green beret in the Army Special Forces. I scolded him for not making that known. “If you were in uniform, you’d be first in line to get one of those seats!” He was such a nice guy. “It’s cool. I’m fine here,” he replied nonchalantly. It was such a nice change of pace not having to sit next to someone fat who stole half my seat or who smelled and ruined my entire flight.
Apparently, I wasn’t going to get through very much writing on the plane. So much for no distractions. I asked him if he was headed for business or pleasure. He told me he was flying to Brussels for an internship in defense analysis for the next three months. He told me all about what he does and how much he loves doing it. He also took the time to ask me what I do. I was proud to be sitting next to this man. To me, he was bigger than sitting next to a celebrity. I’ve always had a major soft spot for the military service men and women. Not necessarily in a sexual way. Being in the Navy was my grandfather’s proudest accomplishment. I regularly donate to the USO in his memory partly because I know how much it meant to him, but more so because I know what they have to give up to serve our country. I have friends in the service, so I’ve seen first hand what they sacrifice to keep us safe.
Through chatting with him more, I also learned his girlfriend is also in the Air Force. They were both stationed in California while he was finishing up at the Naval Postgraduate School and got to see each other on the weekends. They had it rough. They got to see each other so rarely, my heart really went out to him. We talked a great deal about his relationship and how they make it work. He realized it wasn’t ideal, but they make it work. I admired his convictions. I asked if she’d be coming to visit him while he was abroad in Belgium, but they have yet to determine if it would be worthwhile since he doesn’t know what his leave will be yet.
The more I talked to him, the more I realized how polite, cute, smart and sexy he is. I wanted to be friends with this guy. I wanted to hit up the bar and buy him a beer. It was completely in a non-sexual way too. Since I was young, I’ve craved to have “the guys.” I’ve never had a group of guys I’ve hung out with regularly. And, I’m not talking about a gaggle of gay men either. I’m talking about a group of men, gay or straight, who hung out all the time and were just real. We could rely on each other to have our backs, no matter what. He seemed like a guy who would fit that mold. He was a genuine good guy. I always try to surround myself with individuals like him, but it’s not easy.
When the flight attendant was coming by handing out drinks and asking for food/snack orders, I wanted to buy him one of my favorite United Tapas snack boxes. Had she not asked him before she asked me, I probably would have done it, however, looking back I’m not disappointed it didn’t work out. It may have made him feel awkward or uncomfortable. I just wanted to show my appreciation first-hand for what he does, however, I didn’t want to do it at the expense of his comfort. He probably had no idea I was gay, but some people are uncomfortable taking handouts. I also loved watching him flirt with the flight attendants. He was quite a smooth operator without being overt or corny.
When the plane landed, he proved once again his gentleman status. He was “Mr. Chivalrous” helping all the women with their bags. I glanced over at his boarding pass for his connecting flight to Brussels and caught a glimpse of his rank, Major and his name. He turned to me just before stepping into the aisle and wished me luck on my pitch.
As we exited the plane, I snapped a picture as he walked away (trying not to be creepy!).
When I got to my hotel, I hopped online to see if I could look him up. I wasn’t going to stalk him. I was just curious to know more about him. I found him on LinkedIn and learned more about his educational/occupational background. It is vastly impressive. I resisted the urge to add him as a connection on there and went about my day.
While I was in Chicago, I planned to visit my friend who moved there a few months prior. I hit him up when I landed because I was going to try to meet him for dinner/drinks that evening instead of dining with my coworkers. He replied telling me he had a fever and wouldn’t be able to make it out while I was in town, and we’d connect at a later date.
This was going to truly be a work trip, so I dove in full force to make sure I delivered.
In only somewhat related news…
A photo I came across in my Facebook feed over the past week makes me smile every time I see it. I dove into researching all about it. I am fascinated by it and love the media attention it is receiving. This shouldn’t be getting media attention. It should simply stand on its own as an amazing display of love and affection. But, until homosexuals are treated as equals, I welcome the attention. I hope it inspires you to be more courageous in your life, as it has inspired me.
If you’d like to read the full story of what is happening in these images, click here.
Follow @onegayatatimeHighs and Lows
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on February 24, 2012
I had been on OKCupid only a short while before I met Smiles. I met only one person from the site, LES, and that was already after I met Smiles. I have to say, I’m not that big a fan. Every search I did produced few candidates I was willing to entertain. No one was good-looking, and no one had exciting profiles. It reaffirmed for me why I originally was so against dating sites. I felt like it was full of desperate men.
Rarely would I receive a message for a worthy candidate, but when I did, I would quickly respond and dry to stir up some dialogue.
I started chatting with a nice southern boy from North Carolina who moved to the city in the previous few months. He seemed like a really genuine guy who wasn’t into the scene or fully out. I was very attracted to that. The southern boys always brought a little extra something I always liked. They were mannered and real men.
We messaged back and forth on OKCupid for some time before we exchanged phone numbers. One night, he asked if I could chat. I asked him for his gchat or AIM name. He responded, “No. I meant on the phone.” To which I responded, “Sure.” We spoke on the phone for an hour that night. I really got to learn a lot about him. He was volunteering a lot of information about his upbringing and his company and where he is today. He told me how he hates gay bars. He even took the time to tell me about his “hetero life partner.” That’s what he calls his best friend and roommate he left behind in North Carolina when he moved up here. Apparently they were completely best buds, however, nothing sexual ever transpired between the two of them. It was sexy to hear him speak about such a masculine love with his friend. I was really liking what I was hearing, and the fact that he wanted to call gave him so many bonus points in my book. I even told him that last bit of information, which I think he really appreciated.
In the morning, things switched to texting. He was horny and asked me to send him some more risqué pictures. I was onboard. I was all the more happy he asked actually. It proved to me he had a healthy libido, especially in the morning, which is when I’m at my horniest. We exchanged a few racier pictures and went to work. We made a commitment to each other to try to find some time to go out on a date in the near future. I couldn’t wait. He was not only sexy to look at and hopefully to touch, but he was also sexy and masculine in his personality.
In the meantime, I was also talking to a guy I met on adam4adam.com who I’d been messaging on and off for over a year. Between every relationship, this guy and I would exchanges flirty messages and pictures, but nothing would ever transpire. It was so frustrating because I found him to be very hot. He’d get very flirtatious, but never follow through or agree to meet me. Now I was making some ground. This time around, he seemed genuinely interested. I’m not sure what changed, but I was going with it. He was coming back home after a weekend away, and we were texting the entire ride back. When he got home, we continued the conversation on Facebook with a lot of banter and playfulness. He was really coming around on me. I continued to propose a date, but it wasn’t the easiest. He was open to the idea, but I couldn’t get him to lock down on a specific time and location.
A lot of our conversations revolved around sex. Again, after the dry spell I went through with Smiles, I was happy to hear it. I also knew he had a great job, as he had his doctorate and was using to teach at a college and work at a clinic. He really seemed like the full package. From looking at his Facebook pictures, I could tell he loved to travel and he loved to have a good time. He also lived close to me. I felt like this time, I had it in the bag.
That night, I found a guy on Grindr. He was visiting, and the host he was staying with was away. He knew no one and wanted to go out. I was already contemplating going out, so I convinced my roommate to join us at the bar for casual drinks. We met him on the walk to the bar, and when we did, I was shocked. He was tiny. I’m 6’2″, and he was easily 5’2″. My roommate immediately whispered a comment to me. Then he opened his mouth and the queeniest voice came out. I was so turned off, but I couldn’t be rude.
We awkwardly sat and chatted at my favorite bar that night. It was dead, so there wasn’t even anything to distract from the incompatibility. When my roommate and I had our fill, we decided to head home. The little munchkin followed us home. He asked if he could come over, and I agreed. It was a moment of weakness. I was horny, and I thought he could be fun.
BOY WAS I WRONG. He was beyond a stage five clinger. After some making out and heavy petting, he spent the night. The next morning, he told me the only way we could have sex is if I could see him the next night. Foolishly, I agreed. It was bad. No. Let me rephrase. It was awful! I couldn’t get rid of him fast enough. I kept laying it on thick how much I needed to get to work, and finally I scooted him out the door.
This was just gay karma coming back to bite me in the ass. I never should have led him on. From the bar, I should have had the balls to just send him home and take care of myself. This is where my penis gets me into trouble. Soon enough, he’ll learn his lesson…
Follow @onegayatatimeAt the ripe age of 26, I came to a life changing conclusion. I'm GAY!
It took me 26 years to realize this and come to terms with it, but coming out's been the best decision of my life.
This blog is about my dating life in NYC and what happens next...
One Gay at a Time 