Posts Tagged logistics

Sunshine and Smiles

Before you jump into today’s post, I’d like to bring to your attention a story a reader shared with me last night. Being the hopeless romantic I am, I was so touched by their story. Check it out here.

Back to our regularly schedule program:

When CK and I got home after a long night out on the town, we argued about the timing of the following morning. I was insistent we would keep our plans, or I would leave him behind. I wasn’t going to flake on Boston because he wanted to stay out at the bar that night. I realized we weren’t making much progress, and we were only staying up longer by arguing, so I set my alarm and climbed into bed.

The next day, I woke up and started reaching out to Boston. Much to my chagrin, he wasn’t responding. I tried over and over and over again via text and phone, but still no response. I’d already managed to get CK up, and he was being incredibly cooperative considering how early it was and how little sleep we got. I wasn’t happy because I got in an argument with CK over this, and now Boston was flaking on me. I was trying so hard to salvage this so CK wouldn’t flip out on me when I told him Boston wasn’t responding. I hit up Hip to see if he’d be interested in the beach. It’d been some time since we hung out, and I thought it would make CK much happier to have one of his friends there. I asked D and his girlfriend if they wanted to join us at the beach, and surprisingly, they were in. They would just be joining us a little later. I also reached out to my sister, and I learned she was driving out to the beach. We were planning to take the train, but now that Boston was missing in action, I asked her if she would give us a ride. Now, I had to manage the logistics of getting someone from Brooklyn, CK and I in Hell’s Kitchen and my sister coming from Hoboken through midtown coordinated.

CK and I were making great time. We hopped in a cab, and it was looking like we would all get to our meeting point at the same time. I couldn’t have been happier and more stressed. My sister arrived a few minutes before us, and we all piled into her car and were off to the beach. This was the first time my sister met Hip. I had a feeling they would get along since Hip is such a mellow guy and easy to get along with, but in her usual fashion, she took a little warming up. Once she warmed up to him, they were really hitting it off.

As we drove, I texted Boston telling him we were on our way and invited him to join us out there when he and the girl he was staying with got moving for the day, but I had a strong feeling I wasn’t going to see him. About half way out there, he finally called and told me he was way too hungover to come out to the beach. He offered to meet up later that evening, so I told him I would hit him up on my way home.

We arrived at the beach and spread out, taking over a solid chunk of beach. D and his girlfriend were on their way and would be joining us shortly. This day was going so much more smoothly than I ever thought possible. The weather was gorgeous, and we were all having a blast. I was really enjoying being with such a great group. Everyone was relaxed and having fun. We took a picture together, and we all agreed it was the picture of the summer. Now that summer is over, I can testify it was, at least for me.

Later in the day, CK and I decided to go for a jog/walk. It was nice to separate from the group for a little and take a nice stroll. We talked about the night before, and he apologized. He also thanked me for such a great day. The biggest smile grew across my face. I know I was stressed that morning and annoyed how things were playing out, but it was all worth it to have such a fun and carefree day. I was so happy with him. I loved him, and I couldn’t see myself with any other man. He was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

We stopped to take pictures on the rocks of the jetty. This quickly turned into a typical CK photo shoot, which I’m not the most thrilled with. I’m not a fan of having my picture taken because 99% of the time, I hate the results. I don’t like being in the spotlight, but CK does. When I take the pictures of him, I know these pictures will be sorted through as fodder for his Instagram feed. This is yet another account of my attention not being enough. He still needed the attention of his adoring fans. I wasn’t crushed by this. I have thicker skin than that, but it didn’t exactly have a positive effect on my feelings. On top of that, I knew everyone was about ready to go home when we started our walk. I didn’t want to make them wait too long to leave. I tried to be a good sport and shot some pictures of him and even let him snap a few of me, but the time came for me to insist we return to the group.

As we walked back, we passed two hot and I can only assume straight men walking the opposite direction. As we passed, CK not only made a comment regarding their aesthetic, but took the conversation one step further and asked if I would ever entertain the idea of fooling around with another couple (acknowledging a previous unprovoked sentiment I stated expressing my lack of interest in ever bringing another person into our relationship). I immediately started getting very anxious, and my heart sank a little. I was immediately taken back to the previous night with him looking around the bar to see who was looking at him. I was right back to worrying I would not be enough for him. My heart beat started pacing. I immediately and definitively expressed to him my feelings on this, and I think he recognized how worked up this was making me. I told him this was my worry when I finally came out. I didn’t know if I could ever find a man who would settle down with me and give me a “traditional” relationship. I realized that’s not for everyone, but that’s what I wanted. It’s not something I wanted to compromise on, nor do I think it’s something I should budge on. Now, I was worrying if CK was the right man for me.

“This isn’t something I want. I just wanted to know if you would be open to this,” he said. I responded, “If it’s not something you want or you’re interested in, then why did you bring it up? If this is coming up now when everything is fresh and fun, how’s it going to be ten years from now? Will I ever be enough for you?” He started backtracking immediately. He put his hands on my shoulders and said, “Babe, you are who I want. No one else. I was just asking the question, not proposing we do it.” I explained to him how worried I was that it was even brought up.  He managed to calm me down and acknowledged that knowing that was off the table does not make him want to stop dating me. He added, “You have nothing to worry about. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” I was a bit more relaxed, but I was still questioning if I was enough for CK. It had been the theme of many of my past relationships, and I didn’t want to go through that again.

When we got back, we all packed up and headed home. On the ride home, I fell asleep in CK’s lap. Unbeknownst to me, Hip and my sister we’re now like two peas in a pod. They were having so much fun together blasting music and weaving through traffic. D and his girlfriend were following, so when traffic came to a halt, Hip climbed up through the sunroof and started making faces and flailing around at them.

When we got back to the city, my sister dropped the three of us off at CK’s. He needed to pack an overnight bag before we went back to Hoboken for the night. We hung out for a majority of the evening before finally taking the bus to the other side of the Hudson River. Not before getting ice cream, of course. In the end, I didn’t get to hang out with Boston before he left town. It just didn’t work out. Maybe I’d have to wait another year to finally see him.

All in all, it was a great day. I had so much fun hanging with my friend and CK’s friends. It was completely refreshing to see his friends getting along with my friends. It wasn’t all roses and sunshine, however. I was still worried I wasn’t the man CK was looking for. I worried I was looking for him to settle down with me, and he wasn’t quite ready for that. It’s not that I didn’t trust him to not cheat on me so much as worrying we didn’t have the same relationship goals and outlook. Only time would tell if our paths were heading in the same direction.

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FINALLY!

Today is another Fast Forward Friday!!!  

Hope you are enjoying these. It will help bring the blog a little closer to real-time. If you’re keeping up with the stories chronologically, please skip down to this morning’s post first, then read this one. I think it’s a good one! Enjoy!

Back to your special edition of One Gay At A Time…

Saturday had arrived, and it was St. Patty’s Day. I was out early in the morning to hit up the gym. I wasn’t going to find myself wasting another day lying around my apartment looking for sex. It was the true start to my staycation and to the new me. It was gorgeous outside, and I was motivated.

As I left the gym, I ran into K and one of my other friends. They were heading into the city to drink, but I wasn’t interested. I’d just come from the gym. I’m not a fan of day drinking to begin with. I said goodbye and continued on my way home. D’s girlfriend was up from Philly that weekend, so I texted them to see what they were up to. They were grabbing brunch and had no plans for the rest of the day. I told them I was bored and lonely, and if they thought of anything, I’d be game. I also called my old roommate to see what he was up to. He was studying for yet another test he had to take for work. I knew it was useless to try to convince him to do anything else.

Finally, D and his girlfriend decided to swing by. They came up, and we just lounged around chatting. She’d never been to my apartment before, so I showed her around. After some time, we decided to go for a drive and check some new cars for D to possibly lease. I was game, so we made our way uptown in the great weather to D’s car.

We decided to drive around Jersey City since there were a few nice neighborhoods I’d never explored. I was a bit curious, and the other two were as well. I also wanted to scope out a spot I had in mind for dinner that night with the guy I spoke to on the phone for two hours, Travel Agent. We drove by the cute cafe on the corner in an upscale neighborhood of Jersey City, The Hamilton Inn. I’d seen it a few times before and had been curious how it was. I pulled up the menu on my phone and suggested the idea to T.A.

He was still working, but he said it sounded like a good idea. We planned to work out the rest of the logistics later.

We drove around for quite a bit more before finally returning to Hoboken. They dropped me off at home. I hopped in the shower and began to get ready for the evening with T.A. I’d been texting him a bit and made a reservation at the restaurant for 7:00. When he told me it’d have to be later, I called and changed the reservation for 8:30. When the time came, he picked me up in his nice Audi. He was a good-looking guy. He wasn’t someone you’d stop on the street and say, “Damn!” but he was good-looking. We jumped right into conversation. It was fairly relaxed. I feel he may have been slightly uptight, but I tried to remain candid and relaxed.

The Hamilton was exactly what I was hoping for. It had a decent crowd, the food looked and smelled amazing, and we got a nice table to sit and chat with each other. The obvious and easy thing to decide was to order a bottle of Malbec to share. I still couldn’t help feeling he was uneasy about things. He just didn’t seem to relax. I tried to lighten things up and asked if he wanted to split an appetizer. He agreed, but it wasn’t terribly easy to pick something. He defaulted to me, and after discussing it, I finally decided on the pierogies with goat cheese appetizer.

We began by talking about where we grew up in more detail than we discussed on the phone. The conversation shifted to our jobs. I got to learn in greater detail what he does. I told him about my job, and slowly I began to realize I was monopolizing the conversation. He’d ask me a question, and I’d answer in detail. When I’d ask him questions, his answers would be short. I wanted to get to know him. He seemed like a decent guy.

The waiter returned and we ordered. I was debating between he risotto and chicken. I decided on the chicken, and he decided on the risotto.

We talked some more until our food arrived. Or should I say, I talked some more. I would never say it was a bad date, but I would also not say it was a great one either. We shared some of our meals with the other. It was a nice time. I was enjoying his company, and the food was delicious. I was looking forward to a second date so we could think of something more relaxed to do. Hopefully that would break him out of his shell.

We declined dessert since he had to get home because he had a big work project the following day. He expressed to me how much he enjoyed the date. I was happy to hear it. We split the tab and made our way back to his car. On the way back to my apartment, we passed another restaurant I was interested in trying. I mentioned it to him, and he said, “Maybe next time we should try there.” That was a very hopeful statement. If he was already thinking about next time, maybe he really did enjoy it too.

We stopped in front of my apartment, and he put the car in park. He leaned over and gave me a kiss. I pulled back and went in for a second. It was nice, and I wanted him to know I was interested. I told him, “Call me when you’re back from Mexico. Or, you can text/call whenever you like,” with a smile as I exited the car. He told me we’d be in touch.

After that, I heard nothing from him. He clearly stated his enjoyment and mentioned a second date. How was I not supposed to think he was interested? I sent him a text to tell him of my good time with him, but I got no response. I checked Grindr, and sure enough, he was online. Clearly he was ignoring me. I messaged him on Grindr as well. When a day passed and I heard nothing back, I decided he would either deny this or the “relationship” would be dead before it began. “I hope you’re not ignoring me. I thought you were a classier guy than that.” He had given me two different phone numbers, so I asked if I was texting the wrong number. Finally, he responds explaining he was busy and apologized. He told me he was interested in seeing me again as well.

However, after that, I didn’t hear from him again. I know when I’m not particularly interested in a guy, I don’t outright tell him that. However, I don’t talk to him about future dates to lead him on. It was very disappointing, but I wasn’t going to let one guy get me down. My Grindr diet was slowly working. I was back to concentrating on dates and not sex. Hopefully, with enough time, I’d find a good guy to settle down with — Someone to be the reason I delete Grindr forever…

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On A Sexual Roll

I have a generous amount of vacation days, as I did a very good job negotiating when I was hired at my job. I don’t, however, have friends who share the same luck. They can either take the time off and have no money to travel, or they have money, but can’t get away from work. On top of this, being single leaves me only with the option to travel – Alone. I don’t enjoy this. As a result, I build up all these vacation days and never use them.

When the new year arrives, I have until the end of March to use up all the days I carried over. As a result, I start giving myself four day work-weeks and have staycations. I decided to take Monday off after the local holiday in Hoboken. As per my usual, I woke up horny and turned to Grindr. I tried to get one guy I’d been flirting with to come to my place. He lived in the city in Harlem, so no matter how hard I tried, he was not going to come to Hoboken.

After him, I went through a ton of Grindr guys trying to find someone to come over for some morning fun. None were biting. I turned Grindr off after what I’m sure was over an hour of surfing, and hopped on the computer. I thought I would give adam4adam a shot. I had messaged a few guys, but I wasn’t getting a response. That was until I found one guy who is 26 and worked in the area.

He was a good-looking guy, as per his profile pictures. We began exchanging messages. He unlocked his pictures, and I got a glimpse of his face finally. He was a very sexy, light-skinned black man. He had this college jock look about him, and I was very turned on. His body was fit, he was clean-cut, and his smile was utterly adorable.

I asked him if he’d be free later to swing by. He had a light day at work since his boss was out of the office. We discussed logistics since he worked in neighboring Jersey City. He could either take a cab or the light rail to my place. I gave him all his options, and we made a plan for him to come by around 4:00. I learned he was usually a top, but he was willing to bottom for me. This was extra exciting to me, because I had greater hope he’d be a more masculine man than most typical bottoms.

When he arrived, I was immediately taken back by how sexy he was in his work clothes. Then I noticed his incredible blue eyes. He looked just like Michael Ealy. He was very masculine and had on slacks, a dress shirt, a tie and an incredible smile. He wasn’t nervous about this at all, which I found to be very sexy. I led him into my room, and he immediately began undressing himself. I liked his matter-of-factness — His “I know the drill” style. I sat on the bed talking to him as he undid his tie, stripped off his shirt, removed his shoes and took off his pants.

Warning: The following may be too graphic for some. The man had an amazing body. I was very pleased. I could tell he takes good care of his body, and I was ready to ravage it. I wanted to touch every inch of his milk chocolate colored skin. I was still sitting on the bed in my gym shorts and tank top when he unexpectedly took off his boxer briefs as well. If I wasn’t already excited before, now I was rock hard. He walked toward me as I stood and removed my clothes as well.

He was a well gifted man, and once we were both fully undressed, we laid on the bed with him on top of me making out for a bit. He had amazing lips and knew how to use them. He had a strong body, and I enjoyed wrapping my arms around him. It was hot! We began to fool around and explore each other’s bodies.

Ater some making out and mutual oral pleasure, he got into position for me to use some of the techniques I’d read in Tickle My Tush. I knew he was normally a top, so I took the time to make sure he was fully ready and not rush things. I was enjoying myself as well. He seemed to be really enjoying himself as well from the sound of things.

That’s when I reached over the edge of the bed to my nightstand and grabbed a condom and some lube. He was face down on the bed in front of me, and the real fun was about to begin. I really enjoyed being up against his body and feeling him. He may not have been a bottom, but he sure was passionate in the bedroom and knew how to use his body. The sex was great, and eventually he finished. Seconds after that I too pulled back and finished. It was very hot! I grabbed a towel to clean up his back and the sheets below while we exchanged a few more kisses and expressed our enjoyment with each other.

Just as he undressed like he knew the drill, he began to get dressed. I learned he was heading back to work. I was surprised because he lived in the city. I assumed I was a pit stop on the way home. I felt bad for him he had to return to the office, but I didn’t regret inviting him over. I had a great time with him and would certainly be willing to have him swing by again sometime.

I walked him to the door and gave him another kiss goodbye. He was such a polite gentleman. I could tell him momma did a good job raising him. He thanked me, to which I replied, “Thank me!? Thank you! That was great! Anytime you want to do this again, you know how to reach me.” And with that, he was gone.

In the coming weeks, we’d try to do it again, but he was having a busy week. I could tell he was more than just a hot body, so after that, I asked him if he’d ever be interested in grabbing a drink sometime, but I got no response. Perhaps he will just remain a fond memory of a day off…

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Valentine’s Letdown

Valentine’s Day had arrived. I managed to find myself single once again. I have yet to celebrate a Valentine’s Day. The one year it came while I was dating Broadway, we couldn’t be together because I got shipped off for work to the Midwest.

I ended my intense weeklong relationship with PR just the night before. I knew it was bad form to stick to our plans to go out for a romantic evening if I was just going to be faking it.

Just because I wasn’t going out for a romantic dinner doesn’t mean I wasn’t looking forward to the company of a man. For some unknown reason, I was exceptionally horny that day. Granted this has become the norm, and I’m starting to wonder if I may have a problem. However, I wasn’t stopping myself from exploring possibilities that day. I was single and ready to mingle.

I was all over Grindr and even pulled up the OKCupid app to see who was around my area. When this produced little results, I began to filter through all my previous Grindr, Adam4dam.com, OKCupid, and Manhunt contacts to see if there maybe something I missed or someone I wanted to revisit.

I messaged a few guys and asked what they were up to. The ones who I hadn’t spoken to in quite a while I asked how they’d been since we last spoke.

One guy hit me up on Grindr. I was pretty horny, so I wasn’t being picky. He was just offering to come over and give me a blowj*b.  I at the very least had a fallback. I was really looking to get it in, but I would settle for him if no candidates produced themselves.

I wasn’t happy with who I was becoming. Once again, I was letting myself get out of control. I needed to reign in my sex life, but that day, I just wanted to get it in. Tomorrow is another day.

I started chatting with the guy I’d gone on an awkward date with. We’d already talked about trying to figure something out about getting together again. I could tell he was more interested in sex than a relationship, but there was also still a glimmer of hope there for something to bud. I don’t claim to be a pro in the bedroom, but I do think, based on previous feedback, I am pretty damn good between the sheets. Maybe I could win him over that way.

We went back and forth for some time about him coming over. He wanted to go to the gym and hadn’t left work yet. Apparently I didn’t give him enough notice, but I could tell he was very interested. We talked about the logistics, and I made some great progress imploring him to come over. He told me he’d try to get his errands done and then he’d be in touch.

In the meantime, I had the blowjob on hold. I told him I had some work to do, and I would get back to him. He wasn’t thrilled, but he accepted my proposal of postponement. I told him I’d reach out to him as soon as I finished my work.

Finally, I got a text message. It appeared we were going to have our “second date” after all. He was wrapping up a few things and then he’d be over. He informed me he was bringing his c*ckring and poppers. I told him that was fine, but I wouldn’t be partaking in the poppers.

I immediately hopped in the shower to clean up, shave and prep for his arrival. I also opened a bottle of wine so we could relax before just jumping in the sack. I wanted to seduce him a little.

When he arrived, he was slightly awkward. I poured him a glass of wine and we sat on the couch chatting and drinking. When I felt the moment was right, I made a move. I was all but on his lap kissing him. And that’s when I learned why he was still single.

He was the worst kisser I’d ever been with. I thought he was going to eat my face. All that time I spent staring longingly at his lips, and that’s how he chose to use them. It was a very sad Valentine’s Day. I tried to soldier on past it. I tried to lead him and make-do the best I could.

Finally, I stood up to take a break, took him by the hand and led him to my bedroom. We slowly undressed each other. I was enjoying peeling his clothes off one by one. As I did, I was groping his entire body. He had a very sexy body and great skin. I couldn’t stop feeling him up.

Warning: The following may be too graphic for some. We laid head to toe and began orally pleasing each other. Eventually, he stopped to put on his c*ckring and grab his poppers from his jeans pocket.

When he came back to the bed, I began orally pleasing his bottom. He had a great a$s and manscaped very well. I was enjoying myself, but it didn’t seem I was doing the best job for him. That’s when I learned he doesn’t really get anything out of it, he told me apologetically. I didn’t understand because long ago he told me he was a bottom. I also recalled how much stimulation he got from his nipples, so I concentrated on them. He went wild.

A short time later, we laid next to each other stimulating ourselves. It didn’t take long before I finished all over his chest per his request. For once it didn’t take me forever to climax. As soon as I finished, he too exploded on his chest.

After giving him a towel and we both cleaned up, we laid next to each other in bed. I wanted to cuddle, but he didn’t seem the type to I just put my hand on his inner thigh. We chatted about the most random things. He was staring at my bookcase, and we talked about some of the books on the shelf. I pointed out my only gay book on the shelf, Beaches. It’s a picture book I like to page through periodically. He told me all the gay books on his bookshelf deal with barebacking. A huge red flag went off in my brain! Was he into barebacking? I didn’t ask him to elaborate, but I wish I did.

That’s when I hopped on his back and began to give him a massage. I have very large and very strong hands. I like to put them to good use. Apparently he was a little more delicate that I anticipated. He asked me to lighten up a bit, but he was enjoying what I was doing. I noticed how he analyzed everything. He really was a headshrinker.

When I stopped, he started inspecting my skin. I recalled on our date how he wished he was a dermatologist. He was very complimentary of my skin and complexion. I appreciated the compliment, but the delivery was incredibly awkward. He was not an easygoing guy, and I started to realize how little I was attracted to him. On top of that, I was starting to get an irritation on my neck from where he was trying to eat it. I knew then this would not be a repeat offender.

With that, he got dressed, collected his things, and we said goodbye at the door. He left very unceremoniously. I had no plans to reach out to him again after that. We’d had such a long history, making it weird, but we’d only really known each other a short while. He too had no plans to reach out to me.

Ironically enough, he messaged me on Grindr the other night, but of course this went nowhere.

Now, the only question is when and if I unfriend him on Facebook and what are the consequences?

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My Very Own Cheerleader

Tuesday came and went quite uneventful in my relationship world. Smiles called and we talked for five minutes about our days.

When Wednesday arrived, I was starting to seriously worry Smiles wasn’t going to be attending my holiday party. I’d already asked a few times, and I didn’t want to be pushy, but the time had come to get a straight answer.

I texted him in the middle of the afternoon: “You still haven’t confirmed your attendance Saturday… You are coming right?” I quickly received a very succinct response: “Yes.”

What a relief. I was worried he’d made other plans and didn’t know how to tell me. I’m not sure how I would have taken it had he said no. You may have been reading about a new slew of guys I was pursuing from a myriad of online dating venues. I wanted him by my side for the party, and I wanted him to meet my friends. Many had not met him yet, and if you read my blog, you know how important to me they are.

Apparently, I’d opened up the dialogue for the day. Smiles followed his last text with a picture message. “The final bowl.” I was laughing. “Haha. You made it! You didn’t have to eat it all if you were tired of it… Don’t forget about the sausages!” I know I made a lot, but he didn’t need to feel obligated to eat it all. “All good. It’s what I’m supposed to be on. I just laugh because it’s like a salad at the Cheesecake Factory — Much larger than it looks!”

I took the Thursday before my holiday party off. I need to do a lot to prepare and to finally settle into my new apartment. 40 people were expecting a party that lives up to my usual standards. I couldn’t disappoint.

I started in my room with probably the lowest priority, but the most fun project. I was detailing a tree on my bedroom wall. I was shocked it only took me two hours to make the tree decal out of black contact paper. “2 hours later, the tree is up…” I texted to Smiles. He immediately responded with support: “Cool. I forgot about that project!” He told me he’d slept-in quite late, but he was getting a lot of work done.  And, since he’d finished season two of Vampire Diaries, he had nothing to distract him. “Nice. I’m cooking up a storm. Still no cable guy,” I replied. He didn’t realize I took Thursday off from work as well as Friday.

His next response could have knocked me over with a feather. “Wow. Lot of prep for Saturday! Want me to come over tonight and help?” This was the first time Smiles took such an interest in my life. It kind of came out of left field, but there were no complaints here! I made my feelings quite clear in my response: “I would love if you came over tonight! I need a consultant :)” I needed some design advice. I still had to hang pictures and light fixtures and the like. I could handle most of the cooking myself, but his design skills and good taste were going to get put to good use. “Still can’t lift anything, but happy to help with other stuff,” he added.

I asked him if 10:00 would work. I had volleyball, so that was the time I would be home. I didn’t want to give up a night with him just because of my game. The following made me about as giddy as a schoolgirl! “Oh yeah. It’s Thursday 😦 Was thinking I was coming over at 6:00ish. Yeah. I can do that. 10:00. But, maybe I could come watch volleyball?”

WHAT!? He wanted to come watch me play volleyball?! I’d mentioned it to both N and Broadway when I was dating them, but they never showed much interest in it. For him to volunteer without me ever even mentioning coming was amazing! “Yea! Sure! Come at 6,” I exclaimed.

We ironed out the logistics, and he made his way to Hoboken around 7:00. Every week I get a ride from my teammate I’ve known since high school. He also happens to be gay, so he was excited to finally meet Smiles. This would also be the first time my sister met Smiles as she gets a ride as well.

The two of us hopped in the backseat, and I introduced Smiles to my high school friend. When we picked up my sister, I introduced him again.

When we arrived at the gym, Smiles made himself comfortable and pulled out his iPhone. I knew this wasn’t going to be the most thrilling night of Smiles’ life, but it meant the world to me he wanted to come watch. I would look past the fact that he spent a lot of the time playing with his phone. I knew he was actually watching because between every game, I went over to sit with him, and he made comments on some of the plays I was involved in. The ironic part is, many of my teammates didn’t know I was gay. That night, I didn’t give them a definitive answer, but I’m sure they could have deduced the situation.

After the game, we went home, and Smiles helped me with a few things I needed to ask him about before I showered and we had a late dinner. While we ate our dinner on the couch, we watched TV until we grew tired. We made our way to my bedroom and dozed off for the night.

The next morning, we woke without an alarm and had breakfast. I thought Smiles would stay for a bit of the afternoon. My friend, P, was coming over to help me make food for the party. I informed her she’d be meeting Smiles, and she was thrilled and very excited. Instead, Smiles had to make his way home because he had work to do. Around noon, I said goodbye with a kiss and went back to preparing for the party. P arrived disappointed to find Smiles had gone, but we didn’t let that get us down. We spent the afternoon cooking up a storm. She was invaluable. I don’t think I could have done it without her.

I was in good spirits. I had an answer about Smiles’ attendance. He came to support me in one of my recreations. He helped me make decisions on decorating. All was good in my world. Now I just needed to find the time to finish cleaning and cooking for 40…

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