Posts Tagged explore

Sexual Exploration

Today is another Fast Forward Friday!!!  

Hope you are enjoying these. It will help bring the blog a little closer to real-time. If you’re keeping up with the stories chronologically, please skip down to this morning’s post first, then read this one. I think it’s a good one! Enjoy!

Back to your special edition of One Gay At A Time…

Friday afternoon, I was talking to J, one of my closest friends. We swam together in college, and I can actually say I think we’ve grown closer with each other now than we were back then. He’s a great guy and I cherish our friendship!

I recently had the pleasure of attending his wedding, but before that, we had a little chat:

He asked if I wanted to see what he bought his future wife for their honeymoon. Before he sent me a link to The We Vibe, vibrator for couples to use together, he included my typical warning message: WARNING: The following post may be too graphic for some. I thought this was hysterical, and I was proud of his level of comfort in regards to his sexuality. Apparently, he’d been dying to say that to me for some time. From there, a whole new conversation spawned.

He told me of his extensive toy bag. When I told him I owned none myself, he responded, “DUDE! You gotta get toys!” I really never saw a need for these. I was enjoying the “toy” God gave to every man I brought into my bed.

Then the conversation took a turn. “Ahhhhh, perfect time for me to ask you opinion…” he said sending me this link: aneros.com. It was to a prostate massager for men to hit their G-spot. “Thoughts?” he added. My head immediately went to the Tickle My Tush book I’d received months earlier for review. I told him to remind me the next time he was in Hoboken, I’d lend it to him. He told me, “Been looking at the Aeneros. Clearly for me, but I’m butt hesitant.”

I was proud of him for even considering the idea. The butt is a region many straight men fail to explore because it is seen as taboo. It is an entirely new erogenous zone that should be explored, even by heterosexual couples.

They’d explored this idea in the past. She was comfortable, but he wasn’t. “It’s not a gay thing — Just uncomfortable,” he typed. I told him not to be hesitant, but I also encouraged him to explore alone before engaging his future wife.

I explained to him how I’d never really explored back there myself before coming out. Of course I’d used a finger in the bathtub to see how it felt, but I could never get over the uncomfortable sensation. I never derived pleasure from that region, with the exception of oral pleasure. “I don’t really get off from traditional penetration,” I told him. “It gives me nothing. But… I have had great experience with a finger… It can be more directional and targeting, and I have gotten off from that fairly often”

He told me, “See, we tried finger like years ago — Freaked me out… Didn’t/couldn’t relax. Haven’t tried it since” I immediately added, “You need to get comfortable yourself alone first. Then, you’ll be more relaxed.”

Somehow we got sidetracked, and we began exchanging thoughts on different brands of lube. I’ve always used water-based because I care more about my sheets and don’t want stains. He suggested using a towel and explained how much better silicone is. He even went into the chemistry of it (which is his background). I knew why he liked silicone better, but when he would be on the receiving end of silicone, he might not have the same feelings about it after learning of its lingering effects.

Soon, we were back on track. I asked him if he had a tub. I explained: “Some day… take a bath…  warm water… and relax. Lay back in shallow water with your back on the bottom of the tub, legs up on the brim. Gently penetrate with your. It takes A LOT of getting used to. You need to feel like your pushing out to allow things to gently come in. You’re going to feel like your going to sh*t yourself… You probably won’t. It’s a natural urge you need to combat. It’s def. awkward — No question about it. It’s just a matter of getting to know a part of your body you’re not used to engaging.” I told him the book I was lending him would talk all about it.

He responded, “Fair enough. Makes sense too.” I told him I would bring the book to his wedding in a week. He asked if I could please wrap it up before doing so. I joked at the idea of simply putting it in the box of cards in hopes his mother was the first to get to that. He added, “I appreciate this. You have a hell of a lot more experience than I do.’’ I replied, “Yes and no.” I reminded him how I was never really a bottom, but I was certainly exploring that a lot more in my current relationship. “Clark Kent and I have a very healthy flip relationship,” I supplemented.

He retorted humorously, “Didn’t say you were an expert (I do read you blog), but you know a hell of a lot more than I do.

I thought back to my first time. “It was very different and awkward. It took a lot of getting used to. And, when someone told me about the push thing, it got a lot better. And, then when I read it in the Tickle My Tush book, it confirmed that for me. She describes it very well,” I detailed.

“You know this is goin’ in the blog right?” I asked. “It won’t say J — Just a male friend. But, I’m very proud of you!” He responded, “Hmmmmm. Go for it. This is J. You don’t have to keep it anonymous. I’m not scared. I don’t mind. Just give me a heads up right beforehand. A healthy sexual appetite and willingness to explore are healthy things.”

“But again… I’m very proud of your willingness to explore without worrying about social connotations. This is definitely a longer conversation I want to share sometime,” I added. We agreed to revisit this topic again when we both had more time…

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When It Rains, It Pours

Today is another Fast Forward Friday!!!  

Hope you are enjoying these. It will help bring the blog a little closer to real-time. If you’re keeping up with the stories chronologically, please skip down to this morning’s post first, then read this one. I think it’s a good one! Enjoy!

Back to your special edition of One Gay At A Time…

Life was good. I finally met a man who seemed to be too good to be true. We’d already been on three unforgettable dates, and things were only getting better.

Saturday morning, I said goodbye to Clark Kent when I dropped him off in the city. I wanted to spend every waking minute with him, but things were still fresh and young for us. It’d only been a week. I needed to stop my habit of diving in head first, or I could be in for a world of hurt. Saturday night, I made plans with friends to go out. One of the guys I swam with in college asked me to come by to pregame and then go to the bar with him and some other friends. It’d been months since a request like that came in, so I was ready and raring to go. By the time I got ready to go out after running all my errands, they moved things to the bar. I met the group at Black Bear in Hoboken. These friends are serious triathletes, so they never go out, and when they do, they go to bed early. I also encouraged my other friend P to join us.

When I got to the bar, I sent CK a text to see what he was up to. He responded by telling me to come into the city and spend the night with him. Had he texted me a half hour earlier, I probably would have never entered the bar and would have gone straight into the city. I stepped outside to call him and explain. I really wanted to go see him since I couldn’t get enough of him, but P had just arrived. I didn’t want to ditch her. He fully understood. A small part of me wanted to ensure he wouldn’t get tired of me, so I thought some time apart would do us good.

I went back to the bar and had a good time with my friends. In true fashion, a half hour later, all but P made their way home to go to bed. It wasn’t even midnight yet. I told her all about CK and how amazing he was. I also told her about how I’d ended things with all the other guys. She kept asking things like, “Well, what about [X]? I thought you had a good date?” I explained to her that none of these guys were like my Superman. They didn’t measure up at all. She was impressed with my conviction and wished me luck, but she warned me not to get too far ahead of myself. P and I decided to go to another bar we enjoyed far more, Cooper’s Union, where we sit and chat while our favorite Hoboken bartender serves us.

Just as we were about to leave the bar, it started pouring. We agreed to call it a night instead. She hopped in a cab, and I made my way down the street home. I didn’t get far before I decided to run. I ripped off my soaking wet shirt and ran on my Cole Haans the dozen blocks home. When I got home, I texted CK to tell him about my “TV commercial-like sprint in the rain home.” (The Nike technology in Cole Haans really is amazing btw!). He responded back telling me how much he wished he’d seen me. He told me he was turned on by the mental picture. I achieved my goal. I knew exactly what I was doing when I sent that text to him. I wanted him to want me.

Sunday, I talked to CK, and we made plans for me to spend the night in the city. It made sense since he was so close to my office. I could bring clothes for work the next day and head straight there in the morning.

As the day progressed, the weather deteriorated. It was pouring. I made my way to his place around dinnertime soaked to the bone. I had my giant umbrella with me, but water-soaked my pants from the ground up. He stripped me of most of my clothes when I arrived, and we began fooling around immediately. This, of course, led to sex and some hot, sweaty fun.

I was happy to be spending a rainy night in with him. We had no plans and no obligations. We were simply going to cuddle in his apartment and watch something on his iPad. He offered to make me dinner, and I accepted. He told me his cooking abilities were limited, but he would whip up his specialty for me. I heard a lot going on in the kitchen while I sat in his living room. He wouldn’t let me help. He wanted to surprise me. When I came into the kitchen to give him a hug and kiss, I got my kiss but was ordered back to the couch.

Moments later, he brought me a plate full of salad with chunks of chicken and a tasty dressing. It was very good, and I enjoyed it thoroughly. That night, I would also learn of CK’s sweet tooth. We weren’t even done our salads before he was talking about dessert. He didn’t have anything in the apartment, but there was a bodega on the block. We would venture out into the rain to satisfy a craving for sweets. He offered for me to stay in the apartment and stay dry, but I insisted on coming with him.

We picked up Oreos, ice cream and some cheddar bread sticks and made our way back out into the rain. I was tempted the whole walk back to ask him to hold the umbrella while I ripped my shirt off and ran back to his apartment in the rain. The only thing that stopped me was that I’d have to stand in front of his doorman with no shirt on until he caught up, and I thought it might embarrass him. I chickened out! I was so disappointed in myself. I wanted to show him I didn’t take myself too seriously.

When we got back to his apartment, we dove into the ice cream and Oreos. He made each of us a bowl, and we cracked open the bread sticks. We sat in bed, and when we finished, we cuddled in front of his iPad watching Smash. Shortly thereafter, I dozed off in his arms. It was a perfect rainy night, and I truly looked forward to many others with him while I dreamed the night away.

The next morning, we fooled around before getting ready. While I showered, he made me a bowl of yogurt, fresh berries, honey and granola. It was delicious. He was really taking care of me.

Every moment made me fall for him more and more. We walked to my office together before he hopped on the subway, and I made my way inside. I was head over heels, and things were just starting. The possibilities were endless, and I planned to explore them all…

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FINALLY!

Today is another Fast Forward Friday!!!  

Hope you are enjoying these. It will help bring the blog a little closer to real-time. If you’re keeping up with the stories chronologically, please skip down to this morning’s post first, then read this one. I think it’s a good one! Enjoy!

Back to your special edition of One Gay At A Time…

Saturday had arrived, and it was St. Patty’s Day. I was out early in the morning to hit up the gym. I wasn’t going to find myself wasting another day lying around my apartment looking for sex. It was the true start to my staycation and to the new me. It was gorgeous outside, and I was motivated.

As I left the gym, I ran into K and one of my other friends. They were heading into the city to drink, but I wasn’t interested. I’d just come from the gym. I’m not a fan of day drinking to begin with. I said goodbye and continued on my way home. D’s girlfriend was up from Philly that weekend, so I texted them to see what they were up to. They were grabbing brunch and had no plans for the rest of the day. I told them I was bored and lonely, and if they thought of anything, I’d be game. I also called my old roommate to see what he was up to. He was studying for yet another test he had to take for work. I knew it was useless to try to convince him to do anything else.

Finally, D and his girlfriend decided to swing by. They came up, and we just lounged around chatting. She’d never been to my apartment before, so I showed her around. After some time, we decided to go for a drive and check some new cars for D to possibly lease. I was game, so we made our way uptown in the great weather to D’s car.

We decided to drive around Jersey City since there were a few nice neighborhoods I’d never explored. I was a bit curious, and the other two were as well. I also wanted to scope out a spot I had in mind for dinner that night with the guy I spoke to on the phone for two hours, Travel Agent. We drove by the cute cafe on the corner in an upscale neighborhood of Jersey City, The Hamilton Inn. I’d seen it a few times before and had been curious how it was. I pulled up the menu on my phone and suggested the idea to T.A.

He was still working, but he said it sounded like a good idea. We planned to work out the rest of the logistics later.

We drove around for quite a bit more before finally returning to Hoboken. They dropped me off at home. I hopped in the shower and began to get ready for the evening with T.A. I’d been texting him a bit and made a reservation at the restaurant for 7:00. When he told me it’d have to be later, I called and changed the reservation for 8:30. When the time came, he picked me up in his nice Audi. He was a good-looking guy. He wasn’t someone you’d stop on the street and say, “Damn!” but he was good-looking. We jumped right into conversation. It was fairly relaxed. I feel he may have been slightly uptight, but I tried to remain candid and relaxed.

The Hamilton was exactly what I was hoping for. It had a decent crowd, the food looked and smelled amazing, and we got a nice table to sit and chat with each other. The obvious and easy thing to decide was to order a bottle of Malbec to share. I still couldn’t help feeling he was uneasy about things. He just didn’t seem to relax. I tried to lighten things up and asked if he wanted to split an appetizer. He agreed, but it wasn’t terribly easy to pick something. He defaulted to me, and after discussing it, I finally decided on the pierogies with goat cheese appetizer.

We began by talking about where we grew up in more detail than we discussed on the phone. The conversation shifted to our jobs. I got to learn in greater detail what he does. I told him about my job, and slowly I began to realize I was monopolizing the conversation. He’d ask me a question, and I’d answer in detail. When I’d ask him questions, his answers would be short. I wanted to get to know him. He seemed like a decent guy.

The waiter returned and we ordered. I was debating between he risotto and chicken. I decided on the chicken, and he decided on the risotto.

We talked some more until our food arrived. Or should I say, I talked some more. I would never say it was a bad date, but I would also not say it was a great one either. We shared some of our meals with the other. It was a nice time. I was enjoying his company, and the food was delicious. I was looking forward to a second date so we could think of something more relaxed to do. Hopefully that would break him out of his shell.

We declined dessert since he had to get home because he had a big work project the following day. He expressed to me how much he enjoyed the date. I was happy to hear it. We split the tab and made our way back to his car. On the way back to my apartment, we passed another restaurant I was interested in trying. I mentioned it to him, and he said, “Maybe next time we should try there.” That was a very hopeful statement. If he was already thinking about next time, maybe he really did enjoy it too.

We stopped in front of my apartment, and he put the car in park. He leaned over and gave me a kiss. I pulled back and went in for a second. It was nice, and I wanted him to know I was interested. I told him, “Call me when you’re back from Mexico. Or, you can text/call whenever you like,” with a smile as I exited the car. He told me we’d be in touch.

After that, I heard nothing from him. He clearly stated his enjoyment and mentioned a second date. How was I not supposed to think he was interested? I sent him a text to tell him of my good time with him, but I got no response. I checked Grindr, and sure enough, he was online. Clearly he was ignoring me. I messaged him on Grindr as well. When a day passed and I heard nothing back, I decided he would either deny this or the “relationship” would be dead before it began. “I hope you’re not ignoring me. I thought you were a classier guy than that.” He had given me two different phone numbers, so I asked if I was texting the wrong number. Finally, he responds explaining he was busy and apologized. He told me he was interested in seeing me again as well.

However, after that, I didn’t hear from him again. I know when I’m not particularly interested in a guy, I don’t outright tell him that. However, I don’t talk to him about future dates to lead him on. It was very disappointing, but I wasn’t going to let one guy get me down. My Grindr diet was slowly working. I was back to concentrating on dates and not sex. Hopefully, with enough time, I’d find a good guy to settle down with — Someone to be the reason I delete Grindr forever…

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On A Sexual Roll

I have a generous amount of vacation days, as I did a very good job negotiating when I was hired at my job. I don’t, however, have friends who share the same luck. They can either take the time off and have no money to travel, or they have money, but can’t get away from work. On top of this, being single leaves me only with the option to travel – Alone. I don’t enjoy this. As a result, I build up all these vacation days and never use them.

When the new year arrives, I have until the end of March to use up all the days I carried over. As a result, I start giving myself four day work-weeks and have staycations. I decided to take Monday off after the local holiday in Hoboken. As per my usual, I woke up horny and turned to Grindr. I tried to get one guy I’d been flirting with to come to my place. He lived in the city in Harlem, so no matter how hard I tried, he was not going to come to Hoboken.

After him, I went through a ton of Grindr guys trying to find someone to come over for some morning fun. None were biting. I turned Grindr off after what I’m sure was over an hour of surfing, and hopped on the computer. I thought I would give adam4adam a shot. I had messaged a few guys, but I wasn’t getting a response. That was until I found one guy who is 26 and worked in the area.

He was a good-looking guy, as per his profile pictures. We began exchanging messages. He unlocked his pictures, and I got a glimpse of his face finally. He was a very sexy, light-skinned black man. He had this college jock look about him, and I was very turned on. His body was fit, he was clean-cut, and his smile was utterly adorable.

I asked him if he’d be free later to swing by. He had a light day at work since his boss was out of the office. We discussed logistics since he worked in neighboring Jersey City. He could either take a cab or the light rail to my place. I gave him all his options, and we made a plan for him to come by around 4:00. I learned he was usually a top, but he was willing to bottom for me. This was extra exciting to me, because I had greater hope he’d be a more masculine man than most typical bottoms.

When he arrived, I was immediately taken back by how sexy he was in his work clothes. Then I noticed his incredible blue eyes. He looked just like Michael Ealy. He was very masculine and had on slacks, a dress shirt, a tie and an incredible smile. He wasn’t nervous about this at all, which I found to be very sexy. I led him into my room, and he immediately began undressing himself. I liked his matter-of-factness — His “I know the drill” style. I sat on the bed talking to him as he undid his tie, stripped off his shirt, removed his shoes and took off his pants.

Warning: The following may be too graphic for some. The man had an amazing body. I was very pleased. I could tell he takes good care of his body, and I was ready to ravage it. I wanted to touch every inch of his milk chocolate colored skin. I was still sitting on the bed in my gym shorts and tank top when he unexpectedly took off his boxer briefs as well. If I wasn’t already excited before, now I was rock hard. He walked toward me as I stood and removed my clothes as well.

He was a well gifted man, and once we were both fully undressed, we laid on the bed with him on top of me making out for a bit. He had amazing lips and knew how to use them. He had a strong body, and I enjoyed wrapping my arms around him. It was hot! We began to fool around and explore each other’s bodies.

Ater some making out and mutual oral pleasure, he got into position for me to use some of the techniques I’d read in Tickle My Tush. I knew he was normally a top, so I took the time to make sure he was fully ready and not rush things. I was enjoying myself as well. He seemed to be really enjoying himself as well from the sound of things.

That’s when I reached over the edge of the bed to my nightstand and grabbed a condom and some lube. He was face down on the bed in front of me, and the real fun was about to begin. I really enjoyed being up against his body and feeling him. He may not have been a bottom, but he sure was passionate in the bedroom and knew how to use his body. The sex was great, and eventually he finished. Seconds after that I too pulled back and finished. It was very hot! I grabbed a towel to clean up his back and the sheets below while we exchanged a few more kisses and expressed our enjoyment with each other.

Just as he undressed like he knew the drill, he began to get dressed. I learned he was heading back to work. I was surprised because he lived in the city. I assumed I was a pit stop on the way home. I felt bad for him he had to return to the office, but I didn’t regret inviting him over. I had a great time with him and would certainly be willing to have him swing by again sometime.

I walked him to the door and gave him another kiss goodbye. He was such a polite gentleman. I could tell him momma did a good job raising him. He thanked me, to which I replied, “Thank me!? Thank you! That was great! Anytime you want to do this again, you know how to reach me.” And with that, he was gone.

In the coming weeks, we’d try to do it again, but he was having a busy week. I could tell he was more than just a hot body, so after that, I asked him if he’d ever be interested in grabbing a drink sometime, but I got no response. Perhaps he will just remain a fond memory of a day off…

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Not Tired of Me Yet?

Apologies for all you who got my draft post sent out today. I didn’t realize I had it scheduled for release before finishing it. Please disregard! And apologies for the late post today.

Back to your regularly scheduled program.

So last we left off, my Grindr friend/neighbor, who I will now call PR (short for Puerto Rican), and I were making out on my chair in my living room after a night at the bars and some Cluck U chicken.

I’m sure you’ve been wondering what happened next. Well..

After some making out, I grabbed his hand and led him to my bedroom. We had our fun letting our hands explore the other’s body. Things escalated from there until we finally dozed off for the night. He wasn’t the sexiest guy to enter my room, but we certainly had a good time together. I really enjoyed cuddling and making out with him, as well as many other things we experienced that night.

When we woke in the morning, we didn’t get out of bed. We spent a majority of the afternoon laying there spooning and cuddling and just talking. I really liked how frank he was about things. He didn’t sugar coat or try to impress me. He was being real. This is a quality I seek out in men. It’s very important.

After some time, he asked the question I knew was coming, “Soooo, are you a top or bottom?” I told him I was a top. I quickly learned he too was a top. This, of course, was followed by a long awkward pause on both our parts. I wondered in the back of my head if he was convertible. He told me it was nine years since the last time he’d done it. That left a glimmer of hope that he had done it in the past, however, nine years is a long time! Maybe this was doomed before it even got off the ground. Maybe we were simply sexually incompatible. But, I liked him. I wasn’t ready to walk away from it just based on this.

After more chatting, we started to fool around some more. Warning: The following may be too graphic for some. We orally pleased each other for some time. He felt so good. Finally, we finished ourselves off laying next to each other. It took some time for both of us. When we did, he mentioned how it takes him a long time to finish. I kissed him strongly. I told him how good it was to hear him say that since we both shared that “malady.” I was happy he was understanding.

Around 1:00, we finally got out of bed. I offered to make him breakfast. I cooked up some of my homemade sausage, eggs, avocado, English muffins, coffee, etc. This was serving as our lunch and our breakfast. We watched some TV on the couch while we ate.

Finally, he decided to head home and get ready. We made plans to go out for dinner that night. I had a Living Social I was ready to burn up at Trinity, a nice restaurant on the Hoboken waterfront.

Around 6:00, I met him on the street corner between my apartment and his friend’s apartment where he was staying for the time being. We took a leisurely stroll towards the waterfront, talking the whole way. When we arrived at the restaurant, it was closed for a private event. We decided to go elsewhere rather than wait for dinner because we were both starving. He wanted to go to East L.A. for margaritas. It sounded like a good plan, so I agreed on that.

That night, he had plans to go see a movie with one of his friends. His friend wasn’t getting back to him, so he asked if I wanted to go instead. It wasn’t a movie I was looking forward to seeing, but I had no plans and was enjoying spending time with him. I agreed to go. We talked about many other things over dinner, including the other gay date we were sitting next to. The two guys were younger and we could tell it was a date by what we saw and heard. It was very cute to see — Not something you see every day in Hoboken.

When we finished dinner, we started walking down the street towards our apartments. He decided against the movie since he was tired, so we agreed to just stay in and watch TV instead. I’d never seen the Paranormal movies, and he liked them. We decided to make a Paranormal Activity marathon night of it. We snuggled on the couch the entire night. I was very happy being in his arms, and he in mine.

When the movies were over, it was late. We decided to just go to bed, and I asked him to stay the night…

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