Archive for February, 2012
Happy Leap Year Day everyone! Today is a bonus day — A day that comes once every four years for you to take full advantage of. Do something fun. Do someone fun (like this guy). Do something unexpected. Do something extraordinary. You should appreciate every day you’re on this planet, and every day should be special, but make this one extra special.
On that note, I’m going to take my own advice and get off the computer. My apologies for the short post today, but I’m off trying to do something amazing.
That means it’s time for you to get off the computer as well!Follow @onegayatatime
Today is a Fast Forward Monday!!!
My apologies to those who have come to expect Fast Forward Fridays. I have been traveling for work/pleasure, and I got caught up in things. I haven’t had a chance to write the second post, so I’m making up for it today. Hope you are enjoying these. It will help bring the blog a little closer to real-time. If you’re keeping up with the stories chronologically, please skip down to this morning’s post first, then read this one. I think it’s a good one! Enjoy!
Back to your special edition of One Gay At A Time…
After missing the opportunity to finally meet my online friend after almost a years time chasing each other around, the day finally arrived when I was scheduled to finally meet him in the flesh. This was well overdue, and I was quite excited. I wasn’t about to get ahead of myself, but the suspense had been building up for quite some time.
We discussed where we would go for drinks or dinner and finally settled on Charritos, a Mexican restaurant I’ve been to on numerous occasions. In fact, this wasn’t the first date I took there. We planned to meet at 7:30. I knew the place didn’t take reservations, but it was a Monday night on a holiday weekend. I figured everyone was home getting ready for the coming workweek. It also wasn’t the nicest night, as snow was in the forecast, so I thought we’d be alright.
When I arrived, I was immediately proved wrong. I stood in front waiting for him to arrive noticing every table (all 8 of them) filled with diners. Finally, he arrived, and we attempted to go inside out of the cold. Even this proved difficult since there was nowhere to go once we were in there. While we waited for a table to clear, we awkwardly chatted.
This was surprisingly difficult. He seemed so incredibly flirty online and charismatic, and the man standing in front of me was a very shy reserved individual. I couldn’t get over it. Where was the guy I’d been chatting about my body and sexual interests in detail? Where was the flirt?
We talked about work and the weather. It was a struggle to find a topic to discuss. Everything felt forced. It wasn’t awful, but it certainly wasn’t what I expected.
Finally we got a table and sat. After we ordered, we started to chat a bit more. I asked most of the questions. He always responded in detail, but he never asked a question in turn. That may have helped the conversation flow much more freely, but it wasn’t there. I had to volunteer all my information. I feel awkward talking about myself when I wasn’t asked to. It was as if I was interviewing him for a job.
One topic we got on was siblings. I don’t know why, but that topic has been coming up more and more frequently on my dates. I’ve actually noticed it and tried curbing it. I learned about his siblings as well. It was nice to hear he came from such a similar family dynamic.
We talked about his job as well. I was very intrigued by it. He told me all about his schooling, his specialty in the field relevant to the gay community, his boss, the clinical work he does… This was really shaping up to be quite the catch of a man. He was very sweet and thoughtful. However, our chemistry was not mixing AT ALL! It was so disappointing. On paper he looked so good. Online, he seemed a sexual match for my libido. In person, he was a mouse. Night and day from my expectations.
After quite a while, the waiter basically asked us to leave. There were people waiting for a table, so they kicked us out. I was more than a little p*ssed, because I thought it was very unprofessional and rude, however, it was time for the date to conclude.
We’d already talked about him coming over to my apartment before the date. I was still very sexually attracted to him. I wondered if he’d relax when he was out of the public eye. As we walked outside, I asked him where he parked and told him I’d walk him to his car. I was hoping for a signal along the way to show his interest. I thought he’d drive me to my apartment and come up.
I thought we’d at least say a proper goodbye. I was hoping for a kiss considering all I could think about during the meal was how good his lips would feel. When we got to the car, I stood on the sidewalk, and he walked to the front passengers panel in front of the rearview mirror. That would have been fine. I may have even used the car as a backboard for a strong kiss, BUT there was also a chopped off parking meter between him and myself. Yes. A metal pole about four feet tall was between the two of us. I don’t think he could have strategically showed his lack of interest any more other than to simply get in the car and drive away.
We said goodbye, and I told him it was nice meeting him. He said, “Likewise.” That’s when I grew some balls and took what I wanted. I moved forward, reached my long arm over the pole, hooked it under his arm around his back, and pulled him in for a kiss. It wasn’t a long kiss or a makeout session, but I certainly wasn’t going to be satisfied with a peck.
And with that, I turned and walked home in the flurries falling from the sky. I was still a little blown away by the lack of spark during the date. I wasn’t even ready to go home. I decided to stop by my friends’ place on the way home and say hi.
I came in and we caught up on what’s going on with each other before I told he and his wife about my awkward date. He was a little baffled by it as well. He couldn’t understand what was going on. He really loved the parking meter pole story as well. I was so nonplussed.
I sulked home after saying goodnight to my friends. When I got home, I was curious to see if he was back on a4a. Surprise! I was right. I wasn’t going to get past this immediately. I needed to ask him about what happened.
“Surprise, surprise. Look who’s on here,” I messaged him. We chatted a bit awkwardly about the date. He messaged me back: “I was waiting for you to ask me to come back.” He wanted to come back to my apartment. He even brought his c*ck ring and poppers with him. I was so confused, and I made that clear to him. He wasn’t aware of his mixed signals, nor was he aware of the pole. He just thought I wasn’t interested since I walked him to his car. It was all a big misunderstanding. “I had a good time. I thought the conversation was nice,” he added. That doesn’t make up for the awkward date however. That just cleared up the mixed signals at its close.
Just to satiate my curiosity, I told him we would have to try to fix what went wrong when I got back from my work trip to San Francisco. He agreed, so we kept in touch over the next week.
I decided to see what was going on with the southern guy. He texted me to see how my weekend was, so I picked up the phone and called him. Again, we talked for almost an hour while I packed. This completely made up for my awkward date. I was really looking forward to getting back so I could finally meet him. Hopefully this one wouldn’t be as big a disappointment.
In the morning, I had a message from my new southern gentleman caller. He was asking for a picture of my “morning excitement” we’d discussed previously. I denied his request and told him he’d have to wait to see the real thing. This was my way of getting him on the ball about meeting up with me.
I also got a text message from my friend and recent neighbor. It was very sweet of him to do so. I needed to make it a priority to hang out with him when I got back to New York.
All that would have to wait on the backburner… The following day, I was headed to San Francisco for the week for work. Waiting for me were two men. One I attempted a long distance relationship with whom I would meet for a cocktail. The other, a great confident and online friend whom I was extremely excited to meet in person, especially in the bedroom…Follow @onegayatatime
I had been on OKCupid only a short while before I met Smiles. I met only one person from the site, LES, and that was already after I met Smiles. I have to say, I’m not that big a fan. Every search I did produced few candidates I was willing to entertain. No one was good-looking, and no one had exciting profiles. It reaffirmed for me why I originally was so against dating sites. I felt like it was full of desperate men.
I started chatting with a nice southern boy from North Carolina who moved to the city in the previous few months. He seemed like a really genuine guy who wasn’t into the scene or fully out. I was very attracted to that. The southern boys always brought a little extra something I always liked. They were mannered and real men.
We messaged back and forth on OKCupid for some time before we exchanged phone numbers. One night, he asked if I could chat. I asked him for his gchat or AIM name. He responded, “No. I meant on the phone.” To which I responded, “Sure.” We spoke on the phone for an hour that night. I really got to learn a lot about him. He was volunteering a lot of information about his upbringing and his company and where he is today. He told me how he hates gay bars. He even took the time to tell me about his “hetero life partner.” That’s what he calls his best friend and roommate he left behind in North Carolina when he moved up here. Apparently they were completely best buds, however, nothing sexual ever transpired between the two of them. It was sexy to hear him speak about such a masculine love with his friend. I was really liking what I was hearing, and the fact that he wanted to call gave him so many bonus points in my book. I even told him that last bit of information, which I think he really appreciated.
In the morning, things switched to texting. He was horny and asked me to send him some more risqué pictures. I was onboard. I was all the more happy he asked actually. It proved to me he had a healthy libido, especially in the morning, which is when I’m at my horniest. We exchanged a few racier pictures and went to work. We made a commitment to each other to try to find some time to go out on a date in the near future. I couldn’t wait. He was not only sexy to look at and hopefully to touch, but he was also sexy and masculine in his personality.
In the meantime, I was also talking to a guy I met on adam4adam.com who I’d been messaging on and off for over a year. Between every relationship, this guy and I would exchanges flirty messages and pictures, but nothing would ever transpire. It was so frustrating because I found him to be very hot. He’d get very flirtatious, but never follow through or agree to meet me. Now I was making some ground. This time around, he seemed genuinely interested. I’m not sure what changed, but I was going with it. He was coming back home after a weekend away, and we were texting the entire ride back. When he got home, we continued the conversation on Facebook with a lot of banter and playfulness. He was really coming around on me. I continued to propose a date, but it wasn’t the easiest. He was open to the idea, but I couldn’t get him to lock down on a specific time and location.
A lot of our conversations revolved around sex. Again, after the dry spell I went through with Smiles, I was happy to hear it. I also knew he had a great job, as he had his doctorate and was using to teach at a college and work at a clinic. He really seemed like the full package. From looking at his Facebook pictures, I could tell he loved to travel and he loved to have a good time. He also lived close to me. I felt like this time, I had it in the bag.
That night, I found a guy on Grindr. He was visiting, and the host he was staying with was away. He knew no one and wanted to go out. I was already contemplating going out, so I convinced my roommate to join us at the bar for casual drinks. We met him on the walk to the bar, and when we did, I was shocked. He was tiny. I’m 6’2″, and he was easily 5’2″. My roommate immediately whispered a comment to me. Then he opened his mouth and the queeniest voice came out. I was so turned off, but I couldn’t be rude.
We awkwardly sat and chatted at my favorite bar that night. It was dead, so there wasn’t even anything to distract from the incompatibility. When my roommate and I had our fill, we decided to head home. The little munchkin followed us home. He asked if he could come over, and I agreed. It was a moment of weakness. I was horny, and I thought he could be fun.
BOY WAS I WRONG. He was beyond a stage five clinger. After some making out and heavy petting, he spent the night. The next morning, he told me the only way we could have sex is if I could see him the next night. Foolishly, I agreed. It was bad. No. Let me rephrase. It was awful! I couldn’t get rid of him fast enough. I kept laying it on thick how much I needed to get to work, and finally I scooted him out the door.
This was just gay karma coming back to bite me in the ass. I never should have led him on. From the bar, I should have had the balls to just send him home and take care of myself. This is where my penis gets me into trouble. Soon enough, he’ll learn his lesson…Follow @onegayatatime
Life was returning to normal. I went to work every day, and I managed to fit in some gym sessions over my lunch breaks. I was feeling good.
I was free. I was single. I had no rules. Or at least I could live by my own rules.
Sadly, my old friend Grindr and I were rejoined at the hip. I wasn’t thrilled to be pals again, but he was a necessary evil. If I was going to straight bars every weekend, I was destined to live a life of the third wheel forever. I needed to do something proactive.
Most days at work, Grindr would sit open on my phone in the background waiting for the right guy to come along. Periodically throughout the day, I’d check on it to see what I caught in my net or to periodically toss out a new line.
I try to take my “lunch” at the gym at least twice a week. This frees up my evenings and actually makes me more productive. When the endorphins are flowing, I’m a far better worker.
I was also back on Grindr full force. I was on the hunt for a man. Mainly I was looking for a relationship. But, if the right opportunity came up, and I was in the mood, I wasn’t going to turn them away.
Just as I said before, if I wanted sex, I would go for it. But, if I wasn’t interested, I would simply let the opportunity go by. There was no need to hold on to guys for future use. There are plenty to go around.
Monday, on my way to the gym for a workout, I pulled up Grindr and began chatting with a great looking torso. We exchanged a few messages before he told me to come to his hotel. I laughed to myself and told the guy, “Sorry buddy. I’m on my way to the gym for a workout. Good luck.”
Apparently, he wasn’t done with me. He continued to message me all the things he wanted to do to me. Now, I was at the gym, and I was turned on. Originally I had no interest, but his persistence peaked my interest.
I learned he was a flight attendant staying at the Radisson Hotel near my office. This certainly wasn’t the first flight attendant I had a chat with staying at that hotel. It was almost a daily occurrence in the past. This one was hungry. He really wanted to give me a blowjob. He sent me a few pictures, and my interest was peaked even more. However, I continued with my workout.
Smiles and I were no more. I had to do what I could to attract a new man. I was focused on my workout. I needed to whip my body back into shape. It didn’t matter if it was winter. I wasn’t going to use that as an excuse. I’d lost some weight since Smiles challenged me on that subject. However, it all returned when my relationship was coming to a close. I was simply feeling lazy. The breakup was the kick in the butt I needed to get back to the gym in a dedicated fashion.
I told him I would not be able to come by because I was at the gym, and I had to return to work. I did offer the possibility of stopping by on my way home after work. I asked him what his plan was exactly. He stated: “I leave the door open for you. You come in with the lights out, we make out and I suck you off.” That was quite a plan. I had very little heavy lifting, and I would go home a happy man. “And I don’t have to do anything to you?” I added. “No. I just really love sucking c*ck,” he replied. The pictures he sent certainly showed him to be a very attractive and fit man. I wasn’t completely sold, but the prospect was top of mind.
There was one catch. I wasn’t done work until at least 5:30, and he had to leave the hotel at 6:15. As my workday was coming to a close, I messaged him to see if our arrangement could work out. He said as long as I arrived quickly, there would be enough time for him to blow me.
Yes, I know how incredibly risky this situation sounds. I also know how incredibly disgusting it sounds. I was completely using another human being. I’m not proud of it, but we all have a sexual animal instinct. Mine was starved for nearly twenty-six years. After that, it fluctuated. I was in need of pleasure, so I wasn’t about to deny myself that. Feel free to judge away.
I left work and went to the hotel. I arrived at his room and knocked on the door. He answered in a pair of shorts. I came in, and he immediately began making out with me. He was hot. I was really enjoying myself.
Warning: The following may be too graphic for some. He then unbuttoned my pants and pulled them down. He did all this while one hand was lifting my polo up, and he was licking my nipples. This guy was good. Good kisser and sensual bedfellow.
We moved things to the bed, and I stripped off his shorts. He had a great body and an amazing d*ck and a$s. I was having a blast. I scoped out his body. I told him to join me up on the bed so I could play with his body. He had a spectacular a$$ and an amazing d*ck. I was having a blast treating parts of his body like an amusement park for my hands and fingers. I almost couldn’t get over how sexy this guy was. He could probably have any guy he wanted. Why was he offering to blow guys without receiving anything in return? He must really enjoy pleasing another man.
Finally, I finished just as he requested. I really enjoyed all of it. It was a blast. I know it’s not the most conventional thing, but I saw no harm in this. He aimed all over his face. This guy really had a kinky side. I know I wouldn’t be able to do what he did, but if that’s how he got his rocks off, more power to him.
I asked him if he had a towel. These were the first words exchanged between us. We walked to the bathroom to retrieve a towel to clean up. I finally got to see him in the light. He had an adorable face to match his hot body, and I took the opportunity to inform him of all of this. On top of that, I heard him speak for the first time. He had the cutest British accent I’d ever heard. I wanted to take this guy home immediately. Sexy, good in bed, British accent — He was the full package! And, if it couldn’t get any better, when I gave him all these compliments, his smile was incredible.
I talked to him about his plans for the rest of the evening. He had to run to catch a flight back to the U.K. He was working and overnight. He planned on finishing himself off before he showered and made his way to the airport. We talked a little about his job, and I wished him the best of luck. With that, I was off on my way home.
As I walked to the PATH, I messaged him on Grindr and asked him for his email. I told him we could meet up the next time he was in New York City. Maybe we could even do something crazy like grab a drink. I dunno why, but I wanted this guy to be a pen pal of sorts. I was thrilled to think I could make a friend in the U.K., and I was sure he’d be back in the states often. When I got to the other side of the Hudson, he’d replied with his email. I sent him another Grindr message a day later when he arrived home. He told me he was looking forward to seeing me again. I told him when he came back to New York, we’d grab a drink at the bar sometime, but I still have yet to send him an email to set up a meeting time…Follow @onegayatatime