Posts Tagged bottom
One Relationship, Two Locations
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on November 16, 2012
Since Monday night was spent at CK’s, as per usual, we decided to spend our Tuesday night in Hoboken. Tuesday night in the summer is a big night in Hoboken.
CK and I had begun hitting up free yoga on the pier every Tuesday after work. It was a great way to hit the reset button and recharge for a new week. I found myself looking forward to the group outdoor session more and more. We’d even begun to make a few friends in the class.
I got out of work on time and made my way home to grab our yoga mats. CK had to work a little later, so he was going to meet me on the pier. I invited many of my other friends who had hit up yoga once or twice, but no one took the bait. I arrived just barely on time and reserved a spot for the two of us. CK finally arrived a few minutes into class as we continued our poses and relaxing breathing.
Earlier that morning, we planned to attempt to go to the movies that evening as part of Optimum’s Triple Play free movie night in Hoboken. I myself don’t have the service, so I have to borrow a friend’s card and hope he has no intention of going. When I learned we wouldn’t be able to get ahold of his pass, we decided to forgo the movies. Instead, we swung by the grocery store on our way home to share a home-cooked dinner for two.
We enjoyed our food on the couch in front of the TV, relaxing for the rest of the evening. It was nice to cuddle up next to him and watch TV. It was beginning to feel like a routine. Even though we still lived in separate apartments, it felt like we were living together. We spent nearly every night in each other’s company. The only difference was we had two residences.
We’d talked about moving in together. Neither of us was thrilled with our current roommate situations. Mine were simply disrespectful and unappreciative, and his… Well, we could be here all day. Every day was a new shady dealing. He needed to get out, and his lease was scheduled to be renewed in November. We didn’t make a concrete decision we would live together at that time, but we both began entertaining the idea.
I know many of you are shocked by the timeline there. Come November, we’ll have been dating for eight months. I know that sounds like a very short time to be together before moving in together, but like I said, it was almost as if we already lived together. Not much would be different. We both agreed this would be a goal for now, not a definitive date.
When bedtime arrived, we made our way to the bedroom to get ready for bed. Things took a bit of a detour when CK began seducing while I brushed my teeth. From there, things only got better. The sex was great. We were back on our game. And, true to our fashion, we flipped. That seemed to be how things went for us. Neither was a top, and neither was a bottom. We both experienced all the parts of sex. Our sex-life was very healthy and diverse. I’d finally found my match both inside and outside the bedroom. He managed to satisfy my physical and emotional needs. I was truly happy.
I thought about all the others before him. They seemed a distant memory. None of them came close to my relationship with my Superman. Many of them treated me poorly and didn’t deserve my love. Some of them attempted to love me, but the connection wasn’t there. I didn’t regret a single one of them, for they all brought me to where I am today. Sure, I was still carrying around some of the scars, but I was a stronger man for them. Those were my battle wounds. Those were my war stories. I didn’t miss any of them, but cherished their presence in my life — Even the a$$holes. I was truly in love, and I didn’t want it to end. The road I’d taken had led me to CK, so looking back, I wouldn’t have changed a single direction.
The next night was spent apart. I was supposed to be getting my review at work, but my boss rescheduled it twice that day, and then he had to schedule it for the following day. I was frustrated and needed to take those frustrations out somewhere.
I hit up the gym to lift and swim to calm my nerves. While there, he calls finally, telling me he’s working late and probably can’t come see me. Once again, I felt disappointed. He asked if I would mind coming into the city, but I wasn’t up for that. After not hearing from him all day, I made alternate plans. I was meeting up with my old roommate for a drink. I suggested maybe we needed to spend the night apart. He agreed.
More and more, I was realizing maybe we had been spending too much time together. Small things were getting on each other’s nerves. I wondered if I was losing my individuality. Now that I was back in the gym again, I was feeling better about myself. I relished my workout time. This was something I put on the back burner after meeting CK. We both needed some “me time” every once in a while.
As time progressed, we would find that balance. We’d only been dating four months. We were still figuring everything out. But, I knew, in the end, we’d figure it out together.
Matinee Street Team
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Uncategorized on August 17, 2012
CK and I arrived home, and after a night of shirtless dancing together, we were both ready to get down and dirty. Our night out with Old News was a little disappointing and frustrating for me, but I put it all in perspective for myself. CK loved me, and he came home with me. He no longer lived in the same building as Old News, and I hoped they saw very little of each other when I wasn’t around. I had no reason not to trust CK with him. After all, it was he who told me about their failed plan to move in together when Old News professed his feelings for him. We’d only been on a handful of dates at the time, but he felt comfortable telling me about their brief history.
Anyway, back to the good stuff. Warning: The following may be too graphic for some. We were barely in the door before CK started pillaging my body. He was stripping my clothes from my body as we both moved toward the bed. I got him down to his briefs before he shoved me backward onto the bed. He pounced like a jungle cat, and we began to roll around on the bed furiously. We couldn’t keep our hands off each other. They were exploring every inch of the other’s body.
At first he was on top, and then I was on top. Our positions changed by the minute. Things were incredibly passionate, and what ensued was the best sex we’d had to date. It was raw and sexy, passionate and dirty. We were both enjoying ourselves immensely, climaxing in turn.
We laid next to each other as beads of sweat ran across our bodies. The sex was HOT! We were both exhausted since it was late, and we had a long night at the club. We passed out like rocks until the morning.
When we woke in the morning, we had a busy day ahead of ourselves. We got up, showered and made our way out the door. I was starving. While CK was on his cleanse, drinking a shake, I needed real food. Since I was watching what I ate, we stopped at Subway on the way to his friends’ apartment. I wasn’t exactly looking forward to this after the way his friend treated me, however, I was going to be the better man. I would kill him with kindness.
When we arrived, I got a tepid welcome from his friend. Hip, however, was thrilled to see me and gave me a big hug. We sat and chatted a bit about our plans for the rest of the day. Although his friend bought he and his boyfriend tickets to Matinee that evening, he decided not to go. Everyone else tried to convince him to come, to no avail. He wasn’t budging. Hip, on the other hand, wasn’t planning to go since it wasn’t that long ago he had hip replacement surgery. With some gentle prodding, we convinced him to join us. I was utterly thrilled. I needed a bit of a security blanket for this event. I was freaking out a little inside, and having another friend there would be key to my sanity. It also worked out for Hip and I because we were able to buy the unused tickets, but that’s another story for another time.
CK and I were on a schedule. Unbeknownst to me, CK had volunteered us to be a part of some street team for Matinee. I had no idea what he’d gotten us into. I already wasn’t entirely comfortable with the weekend ahead, and he wasn’t making it easier by surprising me with activities.
We made our way to Columbus Circle to meet up with a friend of a friend of someone he chatted with on Twitter. I still had no idea what we were doing, and CK wasn’t even waiting for me to cross the street. I stood on one side of the street watching him walk away completely oblivious to my lack of presence as he ran in front of cars talking on his phone. I was really starting to get annoyed. He wasn’t taking my feelings into consideration at all.
About 30 yards later, he realized I wasn’t there and finally turned around to look for me. By then, I was approaching him after the light changed. I don’t think my faced could have shown more apathy than it did in that moment. I asked him what we were doing and who we were looking for, and finally I got some answers, vague as they were. “We’re looking for a bunch of hot boys handing out flyers. We’re going to help hand out flyers or something,” he said. We searched all over Columbus Circle for these guys, even venturing underground to Equinox.
Finally, we managed to meet up with them. There was an adorably mismatched couple, a black diva and a Brooklyn hipster. While we waited for them to get their act in gear, I stood analyzing the couple. I was a little fascinated by them. They obviously both worked out a lot, but one was an energetic, tiny guy, and the other a soft-spoken, burly bear. I was very curious who was the top and who was the bottom, but I dared not ask.
Apparently, I was going to fully embrace the essence of pride. The plan was for us to canvas Hell’s Kitchen, handing out flyers to passersby while we made a ruckus to draw attention. We were outfitted with t-shirts, buttons, hats, large signs, water guns, flyers and more. I took a t-shirt and followed everyone else’s lead, customizing my shirt by ripping and tearing it. I felt very self-conscious, but I tried to embrace it. There was no getting out of this, so I needed to make the best of it. I took a large stack of flyers and started handing them out to every guy we passed and placed them on every surface I could.
Along the way, we made a few stops at stores and made some new friends. I was actually starting to have fun with my new street brigade. The burly bear still fascinated me. This wasn’t because I had a crush on him or anything. I’m just a people watcher, and I was noticing how shy this big beefy dude was. I also learned his boyfriend was one of the dancers on the stage the night before at XL. We stopped at Tagg to say hi to some guys selling apparel on the sidewalk in front of the store. They told us they had a free open bar and invited us to take advantage. I wasn’t ready to drink yet, but I thought maybe it might loosen me up.
We continued down Ninth Avenue, handing out flyers and stopping in more stores. While in Universal Gear, CK fell in love with a pair of booty shorts. The rest of the crew was ready to keep on keeping on, but in true fashion, CK was stopping to try them on. He decided he “absolutely NEEDED” to wear them to Matinee that night. Naturally. I went outside to hang with the rest of the crew while he stood in line to pay, telling them they could move on, and we’d catch up.
Eventually, CK emerged elated, and we were on our way. Hip joined us for the last leg of our journey. We had fun together, messing around until we reached our final stop.
I am delighted to say, I actually had a good time promoting. Normally, that sort of thing is my biggest nightmare. But, by embracing the experience fully, I was able to let go and have fun; I simply stopped caring!
When we finished our promotion journey, we made our way back to CK’s apartment to get ready. Little did I know what exactly that would entail, but I knew the night was only going to get crazier and more stressful from there.
Confessions
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on August 6, 2012
That night, when we got home from the lake, we both collapsed in a pile on my bed. We barely had any energy left in us. We had a blast on the lake all day, followed by a belly full of lobster, clams and more. It was one of those summer days we will never forget.
We laid cuddling on my bed for some time. Both of us had our eyes closed. Regardless of how tired I was, my restraint was no match for my libido. Warning: The following may be too graphic for some. Holding CK in my arms and feeling his body against mine immediately made me hard. I couldn’t help myself, and I couldn’t keep my hands off his amazing body.
What started as innocent kissing quickly escalated. Slowly, but surely, we were stripping each other of articles of clothing until we were embracing and pulling our naked bodies tight against each other. We began to find our rhythm, and the grinding ensued. There was no penetration at this point; we were sensually rubbing key components against each other.
We couldn’t control ourselves, as was common for us. We began rolling and wrestling on the bed. One minute, I was on my back, and in the next minute, he was. The passion was off the charts. We hadn’t had foreplay this hot in quite some time. Eventually, he whispered in my ear, “I want you inside me.” “Yea?” I responded. With that, I opened the top drawer of my dresser and pulled out the lube. I worked over his areas while I teased myself with my lubricated hands. I rested his legs against my chest and shoulders while he guided me in. I could see the ultimate love in his eyes. As I slowly slid inside him, they got wide with excitement.
With every thrust, the love-making grew more passionate. Two things can be truly said about my sex-life with Superman: We have both truly become versatile in bed, and we both fully own the positions we find ourselves in. Whether I top or he tops, it’s epic, and the same goes for bottoming. I love the synchronicity of this type of sexual relationship. We are both getting every experience out of our sex. There is nothing holding us back from fully enjoying each other’s body. Neither of us is pigeon-holed in a position either. When we get into bed, neither of us has any idea who position we’ll be taking. It all happens naturally, and it’s simply epic!
We continued some time before I finished expelling my seed. From them on, Superman was my whole world. My only concern was getting him off, and without pause, he was finishing right after me. I reached down to the bottom drawer of my nightstand and grabbed him a towel. It was just what we needed after a long day on the lake. I was so horny all day staring at his package in his bathing suit. CK is no small man, trust me. It’s absolutely gorgeous, however, it’s torture to see the outline of it through his white trunks without the ability to do anything with it because we’re in public. It’s such a tease. All that built up to equal our romp in the sack that night.
We both laid there drifting in and out of consciousness until we were both out cold. We woke a few hours later. We had to head into the city. CK didn’t have things with him to go to work on Monday morning, so I packed a bag for the following day, and we made our way into the city.
That night, we slept soundly. I fell asleep in his arms, my favorite place to be. Nothing mattered when I was in his embrace — Nothing besides him.
The following day, while at work, CK texted me to see if I would be interested in going to see a performance piece entitled Confessions of a Cuban Sex Addict. At first glance, the joke was there to be made that it was somewhat autobiographical of CK, but I resisted. I wasn’t entirely feeling it. CK was going through a cleanse, and I was strictly watching my diet in solidarity. As a result, we were both particularly cranky. But, when he posed the idea of going (with free tickets) as research for my blog, I agreed to go.
I arrived at the theater earlier than CK. I waited outside for him to arrive. I greeted him with a big kiss, and we made our way inside just in time. I had no idea what we were getting ourselves into, but when the performance began, I was entranced. It was incredibly erotic and intriguing. The story struck a chord deep within me. I had never experienced anything like what the author had gone through, but I knew that vulnerability of sharing one’s story with the public. As he continued his monologue, the lead encouraged us to follow him on the short journey deeper into the performance space itself. It was incredibly raw (and by raw I mean emotion, not literal sex). We both thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. We met the author on our way out, and we thanked him for sharing his story with us. We were both a little taken aback by what we just witnessed. It was a very powerful performance piece acted out by incredible thespians. You could feel the raw emotion throughout the entire performance.
We hopped in a cab since we were quite far from his apartment. Along the way, CK and I started kissing, and I bit CK’s lip harder than I meant to. I have to admit, I did mean to bite him, just not that hard. He had been biting me for some time, and I hated it. I told him, yet it continued. Because of this, I decided I would do it back to him until he stopped. I meant to be playful, but he took it completely the wrong way. He flipped out on me, and it was more than I could handle. I blew up at him. He had a lot of nerve. He was constantly biting me, and every time I protested. Now, he was getting a taste of his own medicine, and it turned into a huge ordeal. I couldn’t stomach the hypocrisy, and I wasn’t going to let him get away with it this time. I let him have it. We argued the whole way back to his place, and the argument continued on the sidewalk in front of his building. He was not understanding where I was coming from. He just kept making excuses for why it was okay. This wasn’t something I would just drop for the sake of arguing. I wanted him to stop biting me. Finally, I got through to him, and he understood how much I hated it. I also apologized for the blowup. We were both at fault and both needed to apologize.
The one good thing about CK and I is that we can fight and move on. I never fought with the other guys I dated, but looking back in hindsight, it was not a sign of a strong relationship — It was a sign of the lack thereof. We fought, but we never went to bed angry with each other. We hash it all out, and we move on. I was actually happy to see us fighting periodically. No one truly enjoys fighting, and I rarely go picking fights I don’t really care about, but I realized we fight because we care. It was healthy. It was then I knew I was on the road to a long and healthy relationship.
Birthday Sex
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on July 31, 2012
We did it. CK‘s friend and I pulled off a successful surprise (who from now on will be named Hip). Never before had CK been surprised on his birthday, and I was thrilled to be the first (with a lot of help) to do it. He had dinner with friends, dancing til close… What more could he want?
Of course you don’t think I forgot the most important part of the night. When CK and I got home, I was his for the taking. He had me for his every wish. After we said goodbye to the crew, we quickly walked home to truly celebrate the occasion. Hip was with us since he lives in Brooklyn. He was crashing on CK’s couch, but that wasn’t going to stop us from having fun. We said goodnight and closed his bedroom door — Time to get down and dirty.
I stripped down to my boxer briefs and removed CK’s clothes until he was before me in his briefs. I led CK to the bed by hand and pulled him down on top of me. His warm sweaty body felt amazing against my skin. Immediately, we began kissing each other all over our bodies. I could never quiet get enough of his soft supple lips. They brought me comfort like a cozy couch on a cold rainy day. Alas, my lips said goodbye to his as they made a journey across all the contours of his body. I explored every nook and crevice. Sometimes he would squirm because it tickled, and sometimes he would melt with pleasure. My lips found their way to the mountains retreat of his backside. This was one of my favorite places to linger, and oh did I linger.
The squirming continued, but this time, it wasn’t because it tickled. This time, it was pleasure overload. This continued for some time before we changed things up. Ck started his own exploration expedition with his lips on my body. I was laying on my back and his lips were tracing the insides of my thighs until I felt an incredible warming sensation. Every inch of me was in his mouth and he pushed deeper and deeper. Even though Hip was out on the couch, I couldn’t control my vocal expressions of pleasure. CK felt amazing.
From there, CK wanted to top, and who was I to deny him that. I immediately turned over onto my stomach, arched my back, and raised my hips into the air. I was never big on bottoming, but since I met CK, I was converted. No longer did I dread the act. With him, I found great pleasure. I was at ease and thrilled to know how much my man was enjoying my body. As he pushed deeper and deeper, I could feel his gently massaging my prostate. Gentle at first, until he began thrusting deep inside me. My moans grew uncontrollably, as did his. He was truly enjoying his birthday present. This was a man I loved deeply, and I wanted nothing more than for him to be happy. As his moans grew louder, I felt a warmth expanding deep inside me. There is something incredibly sexy and intimate about this act. Whenever this happened between us, I felt we were truly one. This was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Sure, I know that’s insane to say after a few short months, but I was hopelessly in love.
We adjusted and passed out in each other’s embrace. I felt so incredibly safe in his arms. My dreams were always much more vivid when I slept in CK’s arms.
The next morning, we woke up as Hip knocked on the door. CK was quite awake, but I was still groggy and couldn’t fully open my eyes. We chatted about how much fun the night before was. I was slowly waking up, and CK and I couldn’t keep our hands off each other, even with Hip sitting at the foot of the bed. His hands were quite active under the covers. Once he discovered my morning wood, there was no stopping him. “Baby! You’re so hard!” he exclaimed into my ear with great excitement. He was like a child with his toy.
When he left us to use the restroom, CK decided he wasn’t quite done having fun. He climbed on top of me straddling my legs and began gyrating back and forth. He slid to the side so he could get me wet with his mouth before returning to straddling me. It wasn’t long before he reached his hand back to raise me to a vertical position while he slid me inside him. It felt amazing. He continued to gyrate with me inside him and the comforter draped over his shoulders. I certainly wasn’t going to protest. It was a bit exciting and my slight exhibitionist side was awakened.
I did feel slightly awkward with Hip in the bathroom a few feet away, but then a big part of me didn’t care at all. I was very comfortable with Hip. I no longer considered him CK’s friend — He was my friend too. We grew even closer after throwing CK a surprise party.
When Hip emerged from the bathroom, even though CK stopped gyrating, he immediately knew what he was witnessing. It wasn’t a full minute before I pulled out and we laid next to each other again. I managed to reach down and find my boxer briefs on the floor to pull on while we all sat on the bed chatting.
Eventually, we all emerged from CK’s fortress of solitude. We were finally ready to face the day, even though it was a Saturday, and there wasn’t much day to face. From there we had no plans, and to me, that is a perfect Saturday with my man.
Sexual Exploration
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay News on June 15, 2012
Today is another Fast Forward Friday!!!
Hope you are enjoying these. It will help bring the blog a little closer to real-time. If you’re keeping up with the stories chronologically, please skip down to this morning’s post first, then read this one. I think it’s a good one! Enjoy!
Back to your special edition of One Gay At A Time…
Friday afternoon, I was talking to J, one of my closest friends. We swam together in college, and I can actually say I think we’ve grown closer with each other now than we were back then. He’s a great guy and I cherish our friendship!
I recently had the pleasure of attending his wedding, but before that, we had a little chat:
He asked if I wanted to see what he bought his future wife for their honeymoon. Before he sent me a link to The We Vibe, vibrator for couples to use together, he included my typical warning message: WARNING: The following post may be too graphic for some. I thought this was hysterical, and I was proud of his level of comfort in regards to his sexuality. Apparently, he’d been dying to say that to me for some time. From there, a whole new conversation spawned.
He told me of his extensive toy bag. When I told him I owned none myself, he responded, “DUDE! You gotta get toys!” I really never saw a need for these. I was enjoying the “toy” God gave to every man I brought into my bed.
Then the conversation took a turn. “Ahhhhh, perfect time for me to ask you opinion…” he said sending me this link: aneros.com. It was to a prostate massager for men to hit their G-spot. “Thoughts?” he added. My head immediately went to the Tickle My Tush book I’d received months earlier for review. I told him to remind me the next time he was in Hoboken, I’d lend it to him. He told me, “Been looking at the Aeneros. Clearly for me, but I’m butt hesitant.”
I was proud of him for even considering the idea. The butt is a region many straight men fail to explore because it is seen as taboo. It is an entirely new erogenous zone that should be explored, even by heterosexual couples.
They’d explored this idea in the past. She was comfortable, but he wasn’t. “It’s not a gay thing — Just uncomfortable,” he typed. I told him not to be hesitant, but I also encouraged him to explore alone before engaging his future wife.
I explained to him how I’d never really explored back there myself before coming out. Of course I’d used a finger in the bathtub to see how it felt, but I could never get over the uncomfortable sensation. I never derived pleasure from that region, with the exception of oral pleasure. “I don’t really get off from traditional penetration,” I told him. “It gives me nothing. But… I have had great experience with a finger… It can be more directional and targeting, and I have gotten off from that fairly often”
He told me, “See, we tried finger like years ago — Freaked me out… Didn’t/couldn’t relax. Haven’t tried it since” I immediately added, “You need to get comfortable yourself alone first. Then, you’ll be more relaxed.”
Somehow we got sidetracked, and we began exchanging thoughts on different brands of lube. I’ve always used water-based because I care more about my sheets and don’t want stains. He suggested using a towel and explained how much better silicone is. He even went into the chemistry of it (which is his background). I knew why he liked silicone better, but when he would be on the receiving end of silicone, he might not have the same feelings about it after learning of its lingering effects.
Soon, we were back on track. I asked him if he had a tub. I explained: “Some day… take a bath… warm water… and relax. Lay back in shallow water with your back on the bottom of the tub, legs up on the brim. Gently penetrate with your. It takes A LOT of getting used to. You need to feel like your pushing out to allow things to gently come in. You’re going to feel like your going to sh*t yourself… You probably won’t. It’s a natural urge you need to combat. It’s def. awkward — No question about it. It’s just a matter of getting to know a part of your body you’re not used to engaging.” I told him the book I was lending him would talk all about it.
He responded, “Fair enough. Makes sense too.” I told him I would bring the book to his wedding in a week. He asked if I could please wrap it up before doing so. I joked at the idea of simply putting it in the box of cards in hopes his mother was the first to get to that. He added, “I appreciate this. You have a hell of a lot more experience than I do.’’ I replied, “Yes and no.” I reminded him how I was never really a bottom, but I was certainly exploring that a lot more in my current relationship. “Clark Kent and I have a very healthy flip relationship,” I supplemented.
He retorted humorously, “Didn’t say you were an expert (I do read you blog), but you know a hell of a lot more than I do.
I thought back to my first time. “It was very different and awkward. It took a lot of getting used to. And, when someone told me about the push thing, it got a lot better. And, then when I read it in the Tickle My Tush book, it confirmed that for me. She describes it very well,” I detailed.
“You know this is goin’ in the blog right?” I asked. “It won’t say J — Just a male friend. But, I’m very proud of you!” He responded, “Hmmmmm. Go for it. This is J. You don’t have to keep it anonymous. I’m not scared. I don’t mind. Just give me a heads up right beforehand. A healthy sexual appetite and willingness to explore are healthy things.”
“But again… I’m very proud of your willingness to explore without worrying about social connotations. This is definitely a longer conversation I want to share sometime,” I added. We agreed to revisit this topic again when we both had more time…
Follow @onegayatatimeSpring Fling
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on May 8, 2012
SPRING! The first day of Spring finally arrived. We didn’t have a very rough winter, but I was certainly ready for spring. I had no work obligation, so I rang in the new season from the comfort of my bed watching TV.
About 1:00 am, I got a booty call. There was a guy I had been in touch with for over a year and never met. He was a very sexy Hispanic man who it seems swam in the same circle as me. This wasn’t just any random booty call, however. He was over at a friend’s place, and they were looking to have some fun.
They didn’t want to have a threesome in the sense I’d recently been in. They were more looking to watch porn and jerk together with some light fun. Things got particularly uncomfortable when he asked if I party. I am NOT into drugs mixed with sex. It’s not my thing. I was pretty clear about this. I don’t feel comfortable around it at all. I told them if partying was in, I was out. They were fine with that. They didn’t think I was coming, but in the end I agreed to come by.
I quietly snuck out of my apartment and hopped on the motorcycle. I made my way in the chill of the night over to Jersey City where his friend lived. When I got there, I couldn’t figure out where to enter the building. I finally found it when the Hispanic guy came down to meet me. I finally got to meet him in person. He was hot and was an impressive presence. He was well-built and very tall. I shook his hand and rode the elevator up with him.
When we entered the apartment, I was greeted by a gorgeous dog. It was the Hispanic guy’s dog, and he put him in the bedroom so he wouldn’t be a bother. It was a gorgeous apartment. The owner was sprawled on the couch in front of the porn playing on the big screen TV. I was introduced and removed my jacket. I was encouraged to make myself comfortable. All three of us began to strip. I wasn’t attracted to the owner of the apartment at all. He wasn’t attractive, and he had a very distant look in his eyes. He kinda creeped me out. I had my suspicions he had already partied. He had a beer in his hand, but I had a feeling that wasn’t the culprit.
Warning: The following may be too graphic for some. The three of us laid on the couch watching porn together exciting ourselves. Then the kissing began. I started kissing the hot one while the ugly one started kissing all over my body and began orally pleasuring me. He was constantly going deeper to the point of making himself violently gag. I was petrified he was going to vomit in my lap. I tried to concentrate on the hot one. He was very normal and enjoying himself.
The ugly guy was almost like a dog on me. He kept climbing on me, and I really wanted him to go away. The Hispanic guy kept making comments about him and to him. He, however, wasn’t speaking at all, only grunting. “She’s a big old bottom,” the Hispanic said. I fully understood that by him nudging his hairy a$$ toward me constantly, but I was not interested. He wanted me to penetrate him, but I was not going anywhere near that, even with a condom on. I was cordial to him, but I never purposely engaged him in any way. He kept getting in the way of me enjoying time with the hot one, whimpering by my face waiting to suck on my mouth.
A few times I contemplated leaving. I never did anything I wasn’t comfortable with, but I wasn’t really enjoying myself. Periodically, the porn would freeze to buffer, and the “dog” would have to fix it. It was a nice reprieve from him being all over me.
After some time, the hot one decided it was time for him to head home. He needed to get the real dog back and settle in for the night. If he wasn’t staying, neither was I. I stood and told them I was heading out as well. I started to get dressed. The ugly dog on the couch was confused by all this and still in a haze. The Hispanic guy asked if the other guy could give him a ride home. After some confusion, he agreed. I was very happy I wasn’t in that car. I wasn’t sure he’d be ok to drive. I waited for the other two to finish getting ready and dressed to head out.
The Hispanic with the dog told us he needed to go downstairs to let the dog relieve itself. I wasn’t thrilled with the idea of being left in the apartment with just him. I stood by the door, and the other guy got ready quickly. We ended up all riding down in the elevator together. When we got downstairs, we all said goodbye. I hopped back on the motorcycle, sped home and hopped in the shower.
When I got back to my apartment, I got a text from the Hispanic guy. “Sorry. I think my friend was into you. I felt kinda out-of-place. LOL.” I responded back after I got out of the shower, “Hey dude. Great body. Seem fun. No offense, but your friend isn’t really my speed. Sorry. Not sure if you had fun with me, but feel free to hit me up sometime.” That’s when I got the full story between the two of them: “Him and I hooked up when we first met and no more after that. Sorry if I came off rude. I had fun with you. Definitely. But, he was trying to have you for himself. I got the hint. He’s my bud, so I was trying not to f*ck it up. I wasn’t sure if you were into him or not. You were kissing each other. Plus I had my pup with me.” I explained to him the confusion: “I was more just letting him play. Didn’t want anyone to feel left out. LOL. I was trying to get more of you ;)” He told me, “I would chill again whenever.” I quickly responded, “Cool dude. You have my number. Anytime. Trying to go on a Grindr diet… Obviously failed tonight.” He finally added, “It’s cool. Had fun. Finish some other time. ;)” With that, I hopped into bed.
I finished myself off and passed out. I didn’t set an alarm since I had nothing to wake up for early in the morning. This post should have been titled I have no willpower. Hopefully the next day I would be able to stick to my new diet.
Follow @onegayatatimeChelsea Lately
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on April 27, 2012
Since we saw each other over the weekend, I had tentative plans to see Chelsea again on Monday after work.
I texted him during the day to figure out somewhat of a game plan. When I finished work, I walked to his apartment in Chelsea. He buzzed me in, and greeted me at his apartment door with a kiss. I got caught up on his day a lil’ while we sprawled on the couch a bit. He was in a good mood and was very talkative. After we lounged a bit, we started talking about what we wanted to do for the evening. Between the two of us, we couldn’t really come up with a game plan other than to find drinks and food somewhere.
He finally suggested Sushi Samba. I had never been, but I had their food before. It was amazing. I knew it was a little pricey, but I wasn’t really under a budget these days. As long as he was cool with it, I was game. We walked through the West Village, my favorite neighborhood in the city. We talked as we walked and had great conversation.
We sat at a table on the upper terrace of Sushi Samba since it was an unseasonably nice day, so we decided to order summery, fruity drinks. I ordered a melon drink and he ordered something with passion fruit. Both drinks were excellent, but ironically we enjoyed the other’s drink far more. For the next round we ordered the same, but swapped. We also decided to order a few small appetizers. Everything was great, and I was having a really nice time with Chelsea. We were both relaxed and enjoying the night. It just felt easy. Nothing was forced. I was liking him more and more. He was masculine enough. He was tall, good-looking, a sweetheart… There was little I could find to complain about.
On top of all this, he insisted on picking up the tab when it arrived. No matter how much I protested, he wouldn’t let me split the bill. Finally, I gave up. I was a bit shocked as well, because the tab came to $130 for drinks and apps. We hadn’t even gone to dinner yet — That was next.
One of his friends worked at a Brazilian restaurant nearby, Berimbau, and after trying to get ahold of him, he finally got the address. We made our way three blocks to the restaurant and were seated at a cute, romantic table for two. We decided what to order and both enjoyed our meals. The conversation continued to flow while we ate and even a little under the table leg stroking occurred. I was happy. This guy was turning out to be quite a catch.
While I was rubbing his knee, we started talking about PDA, and I came to learn he wasn’t very big on it. I find myself being a bit shy with PDA as well, but if the right guy gets me out of my shell, I go with it. I’m still building up that comfort level. He, however, did tell me he certainly had no problem with the leg rubbing. He was rather enjoying that, and so was I.
We shared dessert, and I insisted on paying the tab. He didn’t put up a fight.
We walked back to his place. It was a really nice night, and we enjoyed ourselves. Everything felt easy and casual. I liked that a lot. Things were going well, but for some reason, something was still holding me back.
I was pretty tired by the time we arrived back at his place. We hopped into bed and fooled around for a bit. I still had no idea if he was a top or bottom. I wasn’t looking for sex, but I was curious if I could find out the answer. I began to slowly inch my finger toward his bottom until I was “knocking at the door,” but he rather quickly jerked my hand away and stated, “I’m going to have to mentally prepare before that’s going to happen.” I laughed, and we both shrugged it off. That told me he didn’t normally bottom, but he wouldn’t be opposed to it after we got a little more comfortable. After another bit of time, we snuggled up and dozed off.
Once again, we both slept poorly. I was up every five minutes throughout the night. I woke up exhausted. To make matters worse, it was incredibly gloomy and rainy, and he didn’t have to go to work. I did. He sprawled out on the couch in his briefs. He certainly didn’t have a problem stripping down in front of me anymore. He sat there visually teasing me while I got dressed. I came over and joined him on the couch for the little time I had left before I needed to make my way to work. I needed to get a little before I left. The teasing was a little too much for me. I stood, gave him a kiss, gave his package a gentle little squeeze and made my way across town.
Follow @onegayatatimeCheck That Off the List
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on April 24, 2012
Once again, another Friday arrived, and once again, I used up a carry-over vacation day to stay home and relax.
This post is embarrassing. It is now especially embarrassing because a few readers have commented about my promiscuous ways, but nonetheless, I will report the incident honestly and to my best ability. I, in no way shape or form, condone the following behavior. An early warning as well – this post will be graphic.
For some time, I’d been speaking to a few guys on Grindr who happened to be tops. When we both learned we were the same position, discussion turned to other options, such as bringing in a third. We were both really attracted to each other, but neither was willing to bottom for the other.
Many men dream about the threesome. Straight men fantasize about it constantly, and I assume it’s a big gay male fantasy as well. The only difference is gay men probably act on it and achieve it far more often. It certainly isn’t, however, easy to pull off. You have to organize three different mens’ schedules and also take into consideration their taste in other men. We all know how finicky gay men can be.
I woke up Friday with no agenda and morning wood. I wanted to take care of it, but I also wanted to act on my recent fantasy of a threesome. I started with one of the most promising guys who I’d discussed this with before. He wasn’t getting back to me. I began going through more than a few permutations trying to find 2 guys willing to participate who weren’t occupied with work.
Finally, I found one, and we both began to hunt for that elusive third. There were many roadblocks, and lots of waiting to hear back when questions were posed. I thought I had it all worked out, when one of the guys went dark on me. I was very disappointed because I thought I found the perfect combination. One top (me), one bottom, and one vers. When the bottom got a flat tire, it all went to $hit. All this juggling really made me realize why this never happened before.
After much discussion about who could host and who wouldn’t host, I managed to get my original group together, but not without issue. I had to ride my motorcycle into New York City to pick the bottom up. He wasn’t comfortable coming out to Hoboken alone, and the other guy wasn’t willing to host strangers. Strange to think he had no problem hopping into bed with strangers, just as long as it wasn’t his own. I rode in and picked him up. It was slightly awkward, but it all fell right into place. He hopped on the back of the bike, and we rode off to my place.
Warning: The following may be too graphic for some. We arrived before the other guy. I didn’t know the rules, but I was looking to wait for the vers guy to arrive before we got started. The bottom wasn’t so patient. He wasn’t the best looking man in the world, but he had a great body. He started kissing all over me until he undid my pants and started orally pleasuring me. He was quite good. He undid his pants as well and revealed a generous gift. He asked me if we could go to the bedroom until the other guy arrived. I encouraged him to wait since he was only a few blocks away.
When he arrived, the bottom walked to my bedroom and began to undress. I brought the vers guy into my room, and he and I began to undress. I wasn’t as thrilled with him. He looked much better in his pictures, but there certainly wasn’t anything wrong with him. You can’t win ‘em all. I laid on the bed in my boxer briefs while the other two joined me and began rubbing me all over and kissing me. I felt like a king. Everyone was there serving me, and it felt great!
Then the underwear was removed on all parties. There was lots of rubbing, kissing, sucking, etc. After some time, I broke out the condoms and lube. I was horny and ready to get started with the real fun. After using his poppers, the bottom was ready and eager, so I penetrated him while he orally pleasured the vers. Then the vers came to my side of the bed. We’d already discussed I wasn’t bottoming, but he thought I could be persuaded. I told him sorry, but no. I backed off and let him have a turn with the bottom.
This guy was incredibly awkward. He looked like he was having a seizure. His sex was spastic and crazy. On top of that, he was very particular and insisted I use the condoms and lube he brought. While he was inside the bottom, I climbed on top and penetrated the vers. This was not the easiest sex position by any means, and it did not last long. The logistics of three people getting the same rhythm are nearly impossible. It’s obvious in porn when this happens, they are doing it for the camera and certainly not for pleasure.
We swapped positions a few times and had already gone through a substantial amount of condoms. If one thing was certain, I was going to be wrapped up at all times! Finally, I suggested we move things to my shower.
We went through a few permutations of positions in the shower before I told them I simply wanted to watch them while I took care of myself. The bottom protested. I could tell he was very annoyed by the vers and wanted me more. When we ran out of warm water, we all toweled off. The bottom needed to excuse himself. He was feeling light-headed. He made his way out to the living room in his towel.
I was left with the spaz in my room, and I wasn’t thrilled. We tried a go at it for a short bit, but I was much more interested in the guy sitting in the living room. We stopped and moved things out to the living room after closing all the curtains. The bottom was feeling better, so he was eager for me again. He hopped on the chair and asked me to go again with him.
There was something that really turned me on watching the other two guys have sex. I pulled out and encouraged the vers to join in again. I wanted to sit on the couch and finish while I watched them. The bottom wasn’t happy about this because the vers was bad at sex. All three of us were on the couch when I finally finished on my chest. The vers reached climax as well, but the bottom seemed content with stopping before he finished.
The vers guy almost immediately began to get dressed, noting he had to get back home to finish work. The bottom was going to head back in with him so he wouldn’t get lost, but the vers wasn’t willing to wait for him to get dressed. The bottom asked me to ride him back onto the city, but I told him I would give him a ride as far as the PATH. From there on, he was on his own.
We chatted a bit about how spastic the other guy was. Neither of us were thrilled with him, but it is what it is. The bottom got dressed and hopped on the back of my motorcycle. When we got to the PATH, I gave him directions for getting back home.
I sped off home. I was in need of a serious shower. Since the morning’s activities began, I felt incredibly dirty.
If you’re considering a threesome, I strongly encourage you to think it out first. Don’t just jump into it to satisfy some great fantasy you’ve seen many times in porn. If you have the constitution for it, then by all means, do what makes you happy. But, if you’re thinking twice, I strongly suggest you leave the fantasy to your mouse clicking.
There was nothing sexy about what happened. It did not live up to the fantasy I had originally dreamed of. It was awkward and at times laborious. I needed to wash away the shame and guilt I felt, but it was no use. Those would stick around for at least the remainder of the day.
Follow @onegayatatimeOn A Sexual Roll
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on April 18, 2012
I have a generous amount of vacation days, as I did a very good job negotiating when I was hired at my job. I don’t, however, have friends who share the same luck. They can either take the time off and have no money to travel, or they have money, but can’t get away from work. On top of this, being single leaves me only with the option to travel – Alone. I don’t enjoy this. As a result, I build up all these vacation days and never use them.
When the new year arrives, I have until the end of March to use up all the days I carried over. As a result, I start giving myself four day work-weeks and have staycations. I decided to take Monday off after the local holiday in Hoboken. As per my usual, I woke up horny and turned to Grindr. I tried to get one guy I’d been flirting with to come to my place. He lived in the city in Harlem, so no matter how hard I tried, he was not going to come to Hoboken.
After him, I went through a ton of Grindr guys trying to find someone to come over for some morning fun. None were biting. I turned Grindr off after what I’m sure was over an hour of surfing, and hopped on the computer. I thought I would give adam4adam a shot. I had messaged a few guys, but I wasn’t getting a response. That was until I found one guy who is 26 and worked in the area.
He was a good-looking guy, as per his profile pictures. We began exchanging messages. He unlocked his pictures, and I got a glimpse of his face finally. He was a very sexy, light-skinned black man. He had this college jock look about him, and I was very turned on. His body was fit, he was clean-cut, and his smile was utterly adorable.
I asked him if he’d be free later to swing by. He had a light day at work since his boss was out of the office. We discussed logistics since he worked in neighboring Jersey City. He could either take a cab or the light rail to my place. I gave him all his options, and we made a plan for him to come by around 4:00. I learned he was usually a top, but he was willing to bottom for me. This was extra exciting to me, because I had greater hope he’d be a more masculine man than most typical bottoms.
When he arrived, I was immediately taken back by how sexy he was in his work clothes. Then I noticed his incredible blue eyes. He looked just like Michael Ealy. He was very masculine and had on slacks, a dress shirt, a tie and an incredible smile. He wasn’t nervous about this at all, which I found to be very sexy. I led him into my room, and he immediately began undressing himself. I liked his matter-of-factness — His “I know the drill” style. I sat on the bed talking to him as he undid his tie, stripped off his shirt, removed his shoes and took off his pants.
Warning: The following may be too graphic for some. The man had an amazing body. I was very pleased. I could tell he takes good care of his body, and I was ready to ravage it. I wanted to touch every inch of his milk chocolate colored skin. I was still sitting on the bed in my gym shorts and tank top when he unexpectedly took off his boxer briefs as well. If I wasn’t already excited before, now I was rock hard. He walked toward me as I stood and removed my clothes as well.
He was a well gifted man, and once we were both fully undressed, we laid on the bed with him on top of me making out for a bit. He had amazing lips and knew how to use them. He had a strong body, and I enjoyed wrapping my arms around him. It was hot! We began to fool around and explore each other’s bodies.
Ater some making out and mutual oral pleasure, he got into position for me to use some of the techniques I’d read in Tickle My Tush. I knew he was normally a top, so I took the time to make sure he was fully ready and not rush things. I was enjoying myself as well. He seemed to be really enjoying himself as well from the sound of things.
That’s when I reached over the edge of the bed to my nightstand and grabbed a condom and some lube. He was face down on the bed in front of me, and the real fun was about to begin. I really enjoyed being up against his body and feeling him. He may not have been a bottom, but he sure was passionate in the bedroom and knew how to use his body. The sex was great, and eventually he finished. Seconds after that I too pulled back and finished. It was very hot! I grabbed a towel to clean up his back and the sheets below while we exchanged a few more kisses and expressed our enjoyment with each other.
Just as he undressed like he knew the drill, he began to get dressed. I learned he was heading back to work. I was surprised because he lived in the city. I assumed I was a pit stop on the way home. I felt bad for him he had to return to the office, but I didn’t regret inviting him over. I had a great time with him and would certainly be willing to have him swing by again sometime.
I walked him to the door and gave him another kiss goodbye. He was such a polite gentleman. I could tell him momma did a good job raising him. He thanked me, to which I replied, “Thank me!? Thank you! That was great! Anytime you want to do this again, you know how to reach me.” And with that, he was gone.
In the coming weeks, we’d try to do it again, but he was having a busy week. I could tell he was more than just a hot body, so after that, I asked him if he’d ever be interested in grabbing a drink sometime, but I got no response. Perhaps he will just remain a fond memory of a day off…
Follow @onegayatatimeAt the ripe age of 26, I came to a life changing conclusion. I'm GAY!
It took me 26 years to realize this and come to terms with it, but coming out's been the best decision of my life.
This blog is about my dating life in NYC and what happens next...
One Gay at a Time 
Superman Returns
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on May 30, 2012
Sunday, I made plans with my Superman — My Clark Kent. I was very excited and could hardly wait.
I texted him and invited him to come over to Hoboken. We would take the motorcycle out for a ride before the movie. I ran a lot of errands that morning in anticipation of his arrival later in the afternoon. As the day progressed, the weather looked like it would cooperate less and less. The sky was covered with clouds and the wind picked up significantly. It looked like it would rain any minute.
I texted CK and suggested we hold off on the ride, and I just come into the city to see the movie. It would make things less complicated, and it would give him something to look forward to in the future.
He agreed with the new plan. I met him at his apartment with plenty of time to catch the movie. He suggested we hit up the rooftop since I didn’t get to see it the first time I was there. How could I say no to that? When I got to his apartment, we went directly up to the roof. We spent time checking out the sights, cuddling and taking pictures like we’ve been a couple for a year already. I was crushing hard!
We sat and talked, and he suggested we catch a later showing so we could relax and not have to rush to the theater. I wasn’t going to object to anything at this point. I was so happy. I was just going to go with the flow.
We finally made our way to the theater. He insisted on buying my ticket. I protested since there was no reason I couldn’t pay for myself, but he continued to insist. He wanted this to be his treat. I relented, but was sure to pick up the tab for the pretzel bites and soda.
We made our way into the theater and got great seats. Almost immediately, the PDA began between us. It wasn’t gag yourself PDA. We were simply holding hands or caressing each other’s arms. It was my kind of PDA. I was quite enjoying myself!
We held hands while we walked and at times put our arms around each other. I could hear a lot of people making comments, and some even began to shout or hoot and holler at us. A few of the comments were jeers and a few were shouts of support. This was not something I was used to, but it was something I would have to learn to shrug off. I’d walked through the city being affectionate with other guys before, but it never gathered this type of reaction. At one point, CK acknowledged the comments, asking, “Are they still honking at us?” I told him I thought so, and we kept walking. Frankly, I was a little surprised by it all. We were in midtown west — Smack dab between Chelsea and HK, two of the gayest neighborhoods in NYC. I had a feeling a lot of the commenters were out-of-towners, and many of them were young guys.
When we got away from the crowds, he commented how he liked how I was into the hand holding. “Not all guys are into it. I’m glad you like it,” he added. I told him I liked little signs of affection, but I wasn’t into the far more obvious public displays. I told him I’m not much for making out in public.
He also mentioned the idea that had we planned better, I could have brought clothes to wear to work the next day and spent the night, however, he was happy we weren’t taking things for granted. He was happy with the pace of things, even though he wouldn’t have been opposed to sharing his bed with me.
We laid on one of the outdoor couches together and got comfortable while we ate our ice cream. We talked for a while before we ended up making out. Things stepped up to the next level when he undid my belt and began orally pleasuring me with one eye on the door. It was risky but I wasn’t fully exposed. I liked his passion and excitement. I’d finally met my match in terms of a decent, normal guy with a healthy sexual appetite.
After some time, he asked, “You wanna continue this downstairs in my apartment?” I told him I was totally game, and we descended the stairs.
Warning: The following may be too graphic for some. It wasn’t long before we were both naked in his bed. There was significant foreplay before he asked if I wanted to penetrate him. I was completely engulfed in our passionate romp and nodded my head in definitive agreement. “Yes! Like no other!” I added.
Then, I’m not sure how things switched so quickly, but as I was grinding on his backside, and stopped to put on a condom, he turned to me and said, “Can I f*ck you?” A long time ago, I made a rule for myself I would not bottom for a guy unless we were in a relationship. It wasn’t something I really enjoyed, so only special guys would receive the privilege. I had very strong feelings for him. I wanted to share something special with him already. I could hear A’s voice in my head telling me no sex until the third date, but that voice in my head was no comparison to the passion of my other head. After all that thinking, I said, “Yes.”
Like that, he started making out with me, and he had me on my back. While we were making out, I set the open condom down on the bed. He was already putting it on. I thought he was going to top me after I topped him. I didn’t realize I was giving up my position first. I was a little disappointed, but I let it happen anyway.
This time was much easier. He slid in with no problem, and began gyrating. It’d been some time since my prostate was stimulated like that, so part of it was discomfort and part was unexplainable pleasure. I never finish from bottoming, but I always have a full-body experience. I rarely can walk afterwards — Not because I’m so sore but more so because my legs go limp.
He continued until he was close, pulled out, ripped off the condom and shot all over my chest. It was very hot to watch him explode with gratification. He expressed how great everything felt, and we both laid there incapacitated. He told me how awesome he thought it was that I would flip so readily and let him top me. I told him I thought it was the best way for any healthy relationship. Both partners get to experience it all. Even though I didn’t always enjoy bottoming, I found it to be the ideal situation.
We cuddled for hours after that. We even dozed off for a period. When I woke, it was two am. I checked the schedule for the next PATH and made sure I was on it at 2:30. I said goodbye to him with a very passionate kiss, and we talked about when we’d get to see each other next. It was clear I couldn’t get enough of him. Now, the question was, did he feel the same way about me?
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