Posts Tagged roommate
A Colombian Night
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on April 23, 2012
After a very nice date Wednesday, I was pretty happy. It had been a while since I had a good first date. I spent a lot of time having strings of bad first dates or finding guys to simply have fun with and send on their way. Nothing was fulfilling, but for the first time since PR, I was hopeful.
Thursday nights are always my volleyball nights. It’s the one night of the week I get to fulfill my competitive edge and work out some of the frustrations that have built up over the week. I always look forward to it, and I almost always commence the night at my favorite watering hole, McSwiggans.
Before riding home on the motorcycle from volleyball, I checked Grindr to see if I had any messages. A few started flowing in as soon as I opened the application. Where I play volleyball is a hotbed for Hispanic Grindrs and it seems they flock to me like a moth to the flame.
When I got home, I started chatting with one guy who seemed nice enough. When I told him where I lived, he was confused why I showed up so much closer. I explained to him why I was in his neighborhood. He was disappointed to hear I’d already left the area. “We could have grabbed a drink or something.” I told him it wouldn’t have worked out since I had the motorcycle and was disgusting from playing three games.
I did, however, invite him to come to Hoboken and join my friends and I at the bar. I had already texted a few friends and told them to meet me there. Two of my friends were already in the process of getting ready to meet me.
He entertained the idea for a few minutes before finally accepting my offer and dragging his roommate along for the ride. I was going into this arrangement mainly thinking this would be a friendly drink. I made it clear I had friends with me so he wouldn’t think I was asking him out on a date.
I arrived at the bar at the same time my friends did. We grabbed beers and sat at one of the tables. I informed both my friends a guy and his roommate would be coming by to hang out. My male friend looked very leery, but I told him this was just a friendly drink thing. I think he was worried he was basically going to sit through one of my dates. After some time passed, my Hispanic Grindr friend and I started texting. He arrived and was sitting at the bar. I had walked up and ordered right next to him without noticing him there.
I immediately walked over and said hi to him and his roommate and introduced myself. I called my two friends over to introduce them as well.
It wasn’t long before my male friend’s comfort level dropped, and he decided to meet other friends at another bar. My female friend, P, was hitting it off with the guy I met through Grindr. They are both Colombian and were sharing a few stories. The other guys seemed very nice and decently cool. We started with the small talk and then got into more of a discussion. It was nice, but I wasn’t really attracted to this guy at all. This was purely going to be a friendly drink. We talked for at least another hour, and more than a few rounds later, we decided to head out.
He was a really nice guy, and we all left at the same time. P lived uptown and in the direction they were heading to go home, so they offered to give her a ride home. They were parked in the direction of my apartment, so I agreed to walk them to their car at the least before heading home. As we got closer, the convinced me to hop in and let them drop me off. I finally agreed.
When we got to my apartment, it was slightly awkward because I could tell this guy wanted a moment alone with me. Maybe he wanted a kiss out of the night. I don’t know. I reached up and tapped his shoulder and said, “Thanks for coming down here. It was fun. We should connect again sometime soon.” He smiled and agreed. It was my subtle way of letting him down easy without getting his hopes up for a “date.”
Finally, I was making gay friends without overcomplicating things with hookups or sex. I needed to do more of this. I had one local gay friend, and he was all but married with a serious boyfriend, an apartment, a shared dog and a shared car. This was something I looked forward to, but maybe I needed to find a wingman to help me find the right guy first.
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Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on April 17, 2012
Although things didn’t exactly end the way I would have hoped, I had a really great time with my new uptown Grindr friend. He was a very down-to-earth, sexy man whose body I found irresistible.
I made my way home on my motorcycle only to find my apartment full of my friends and my roommates’ friends. They apparently noticed my Irish exit, but I was shocked to find none of them texted me to find out where I’d gone. They didn’t seem to care much. They were all drunk and about to smoke.
I put my helmet in my room and joined in the fun. D pulled me aside and asked if I’d gone to hook up, and I didn’t lie. I nodded my head in agreement, and he said, “I knew it!” with a smile.
My roommate immediately mentioned breaking my glass planter that sits in the window, but failed to apologize for the act. She simply pushed it into a pile, plants and all, and left it there on the floor. After sitting in the room a solid ten minutes, my friend K announces, “Where’s [One Gay At A Time]?” I responded, “Really K! How many have you had!?” We all laughed.
The previous night, I talked to a guy on OKCupid who was quite an athlete. He seemed like a really fun guy, and I was anxious to meet him. We’d emailed a few times back and forth, and I learned he would be coming to Hoboken for the festivities in the evening. Ironically enough, he would be in the apartment across the street. The same apartment my roommate and I scoped out on numerous occasions, noticing a gay couple lives there. I texted him to see if he was there, but he told me he decided to stay home after not feeling well.
This, of course turned my attention to the apartment across the way. My roommate and I had scoped out this apartment many times starting on New Year’s Eve when we presumed two mo’s lived there. This night, they were having a party. We noticed many men, and we tried to make a sign with a sharpie and the inside of a paper bag. It was no use. Anyone’s attention that was looking out the window was drawn to our neighbors upstairs. They too were having a raucous party.
I decided to use technology to find a way to make friends with the mo’s across the street. I pulled up Grindr and tried to find anyone very close. When I finally got in touch with someone nearby and asked him if they were at that address, I came to learn that person had left the party already. I made many more futile attempts to reach out to the party. A few of us watched with curiosity when people moved into the bedroom, but nothing exciting happened. Our front window became a version of “Rear Window.”
When I grew tired of my new entertainment, I made my way to bed. It was a long day, but a fun day. I was beat.
The next day, I returned the favor of a friend for helping me move. I rode my motorcycle over to his new apartment and dug in moving bags and boxes. When we drove to his old place, I realized we were in the same neighborhood as Indiana Jones lived. I pulled out my phone and texted him to see if he was around. It’d been months since I last saw him, and I was anxious to see him again. We were due for a catch-up. I didn’t hear back from him that day, but I wouldn’t give up at that.
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Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on April 16, 2012
FraI already started my morning off with a little frisky visit and some well appreciated service. It was time to join the real festivities.
I walked out into my kitchen to find my roommate with all her college friends and my other roommate with his girlfriend. I thought I pulled a fast one on all of them sneaking my visitor in the back door, but I was wrong. My male roommate saw him come in. He and his girlfriend questioned me on it, and I was completely honest with what happened. They were fascinated by how transactional it was. They couldn’t believe it, and his girl gave me a high-five.
I celebrated myself with a nice cold beer from the fridge. It was already 1:00 and I was well behind the rest of Hoboken. Before I finished my shower, I had four down. That would be enough to scratch the surface.
I got dressed and convinced my roommate and his girlfriend to come with me to a friend’s apartment. She was having her annual St. Patty’s Day bash. I was meeting D and K there as well. I was happy D was going to be in town. Since his car got a flat, he wouldn’t be visiting his girlfriend in Philly.
When I got there, the party was already well underway. I sat on the arm of the couch and conversed with my friends. I just took in the scene. For some reason, I wasn’t really feeling St. Patty’s Day this year like years passed. I didn’t feel the need to get sloppy drunk.
Of course, since my bladder has shrunk since college, I had to go to the bathroom. Since I was somewhat bored at the party, I was chatting with a sexy man I’d been chatting with for some time on Grindr. We’d talked about getting together so many times, but never did. Things were getting very flirtatious and leading toward an afternoon hookup. When I went to the bathroom, he suggested I come over. I took the opportunity to sneak out the door when I finished in the restroom instead of returning to the party. I’m sure it was just a matter of time before my friends realized I’d gone, but it wouldn’t be immediate.
I wasn’t even slightly drunk. I’d been anxious to see this guy for some time. I wasn’t about to let the opportunity pass. I quickly walked home, grabbed my helmet, hopped on my motorcycle and sped off uptown. Before I left the party, my Grindr friend asked me how I felt about glory holes. I told him I’d never used one before. When he sent me a picture of a sheet with a hole cut in it and a caption reading, “How would you feel about this?” I became excited. He told me he’d leave the door unlocked. I was to walk in, come to the sheet, unzip and let him take care of the rest.
Warning: The following may be too graphic for some. As I entered, I noticed how nice his place was. I was a little shocked. I walked straight to the sheet hanging in the bathroom door. I hadn’t even fully unzipped before he reached his hand around the sheet and began. It felt amazing! He continued for some time before I reached my hand around the sheet and began to stroke the back of his head. I could feel him, but I couldn’t see him. Finally, my curiosity got the best of me, and I just pushed the sheet to the side. I wanted to see him. He was very attractive in his pictures and even more so in person. On top of that, the only thing he was wearing was work boots.
After a little more time, he turned around and I began grinding myself against his backside. He was extremely hot and he knew how to use his body. I reached around and used my hand to pleasure him as well. He was VERY gifted. I hadn’t felt one like that since my friend in San Francisco.
He then requested we move things to the couch. I sat down, and he straddled my lap. It didn’t take long before he finished all over my chest and without warning. I had no idea it was coming. I tried to finish as well, but it was no use. Between my morning visit and the few beers I had, I sat there for quite some time without climaxing. He was so hot and he tried everything to help me finish, but it was no use. I gave up and apologized. I could tell he was very disappointed. He blamed the drinking, and I concurred that was to fault.
As he stood in front of me, I took all of him in. He had a spectacular body, and I let him know it. I asked him about his workout routine, and he told me he didn’t since his heart attack. He elaborated and told me it was no big deal, but I was a little worried. I could only think of him keeling over in front of me.
We chatted a little bit more while I got dressed and looked around a bit. He told me he had a roommate, but he wasn’t home. Something didn’t quite line up, but for some reason, I was buying the story. While we chatted, he stood in front of me in just his boots with his large gifts swinging back and forth. He was very proud of them as well. He put sweatpants on so he could walk the dog, and I could see his large bulge. I commented on it, and he commented how he loved how people would check it out, especially the guys with their girlfriends. I was so turned on. I also learned he managed a bar in the city, and he told me I should hit it up sometime.
We talked about meeting up again sometime soon. We both thought the other was thoroughly sexy and wanted a repeat. He was particularly looking for a sequel since he didn’t get a happy ending from our first encounter.
I said goodbye and made my way back downtown to my apartment…
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Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on April 13, 2012
Today is another Fast Forward Friday!!!
Hope you are enjoying these. It will help bring the blog a little closer to real time. If you’re keeping up with the stories chronologically, please skip down to this morning’s post first, then read this one. I think it’s a good one! Enjoy!
Back to your special edition of One Gay At A Time…
Periodically I get slightly outlandish requests from men on Grindr. Some want to pay me to suck on my toes and lick my feet. Some are looking for very kinky things. Some just want to give a bl*wjob. To be honest, this was never something I have ever craved giving. It’s part of my bedroom repertoire, but it’s never something I’m just really itching to do without getting some reciprocation. This isn’t always the case with Grindr, adam4adam and ManHunt men.
On the night before St. Patty’s day in Hoboken, I received a bunch of Grindr messages from a guy who’d been asking to come over and give me a bl*wjob before work on numerous occasions. I was laying in bed watching TV and saw no harm in a little oral pleasure. As the conversation continued, he went dark, and I went to bed.
As per my usual, the next morning, I woke up horny. I had multiple messages from “The Milkman.” I conversed with him on the subject for a little bit. He apologized for dozing off the night before and never coming over. He seriously wanted to make it up to me. “I’ll make up for last night. I swear! You won’t regret it. I’m that good!” He was at his apartment waiting for his friends to wake up. They spent the night in anticipation of the local holiday. I told him I was still in bed and was horny. He immediately offered to come over and service me, but he wouldn’t be able to do it until 12:30. By then, my roommate would have my apartment filled with her friends. That would prove to be a logistical nightmare to sneak him in. Not that I need to sneak him in, but I don’t need a bunch of fresh college grad girls running their mouths about me.
He continued to push me to figure out a way to make it happen. “You can drink a beer while I do it,” he added. He had to wait until 12:30 because that was when his group was heading to the bar. He would double back and come over to my place. I explained the party and told him I’d have to sneak him in the back door. He seemed to be game with the plan. I questioned what I’d have to do for him, and he immediately told me nothing. He just really wanted to service me. He wasn’t the best looking guy, but he wasn’t ugly either. I was okay with the situation as long as I didn’t have to service him.
We started getting graphic, but also discussed safety. We didn’t really know each other. We didn’t want to do anything too risky. I was all riled up and having a hard time not finishing myself off right then and there. I told him to just come over then, but he wouldn’t sneak out on his friends. I was so horny. “I can’t. My girl is here. Wait. You’ll get it.” WHAT!? His girl? Guess he had a girlfriend. That was none of my business. If he wasn’t doing it with me, it’d be some other guy. It was obvious we weren’t going to form a relationship out of this, so it was no skin off my back. I did question him on it, and he explained it was a terminal relationship. It was already on life-support. He told me not to touch myself. “Think about baseball or grandmas,” he added. With that, I went and took a shower to pass the time before his arrival.
When he got to the door, he texted. I buzzed him in and he climbed the back staircase. It took a few attempts and close calls before I opened the door and he came straight into my bedroom and closed the door. When I told him a girl just walked past the door, he responded, “This is crazy bro.” Everyone was finally in the kitchen, and I assumed I pulled it off.
We chatted a bit about our previous conversation and our plans for the day while we shared a beer. He seemed like a reasonable guy. Very down-to-earth and realistic. He wasn’t the most fit guy, but he was a fun character. He was also very anxious to get my pants off.
Warning: The following may be too graphic for some. I sat on the bed, and he pulled my shorts down. He was very pleased with what he saw, and he went to town. I took the opportunity to use my hands to fondle him through his pants. He quickly became aroused, which further increased my arousal. He continued for some time before I moved up on the bed. He came around my side, and I undid his pants so I could really feel him. It didn’t take much longer before I was on the edge of climax. He back his head away and began to use his hand while I finished in quite a fountain show. I think we both loved every second of it. He really was as good as he made himself out to be.
While I toweled off, I asked him about his girlfriend. He told me he was ready to dump her. He also mentioned many of his friends already knew he was gay. I wasn’t fully buying any of his stories. They all seemed just a little too convenient.
The conversation then turned on me. He told me how good-looking I was. He enjoyed my strong features. I complain about my nose quite often and am seriously considering getting it fixed. When I mentioned this, he heavily protested. “You have a very strong Roman nose. Don’t change a thing about it,” he protested. I told him that was the nicest way anyone has ever described my big nose before. We both laughed. “No. But really. It’s great. That and your strong chin. You’re a very handsome man,” he added. I was blushing.
Shortly after, we snuck him back out the door when the coast was clear. Five minutes later, I received a text from him: “Thanks! You’re a pretty rad guy!… And stop picking on that face. You’re a f#ckin’ knockout!” This was the first time anyone had ever thanked me for them giving me a bl*wjob. I replied, “If anyone should be saying thank you, it’s me.” He told me any time I wanted him to come over, he’d be all over it. “I’d love to have a regular thing where I swing by in the morning before work a few times a week,” he said. He really was like the milkman.
I polished off my beer and walked out to the kitchen. I wasn’t as sneaky as I thought. My male roommate and his girlfriend noticed him come in. They didn’t care and didn’t judge me. When I told them the full story, they actually gave me a high-five. I walked to the fridge and grabbed another beer. I had a long day of drinking in front of me…
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Stood Up Twice But Third Time’s a Charm
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on April 13, 2012
So much for getting things out of my system while in California. I was supposed to find myself while I was out there. I was supposed to calm down with the hookups. If anything, it had a converse reaction. Maybe it jump-started my libido. Since I arrived home, I had one meaningless one-night stand/hookup, and hooked up with a guy I could possibly considering seeing again. What was I, in college?
Wednesday at work, I was back to my old habits. I was all over Grindr searching for guys to go on dates with. The problem was none of them were looking for dates, so I decided to fill the time between dates with more hookups.
I hit up one of the guys in my favorite list, but he was really just interested in sex. We tried to make plans to meet up, but were having a hard time finding a location. He proposed an adult video store booth, but as you can imagine, I wasn’t onboard. He also wanted to go bareback, but I’d learned my lesson with that. No more taking those kinds of chances. When I tried to make more realistic plans, he flaked.
I started talking to one guy who was really hot. He wanted to hookup badly, but he needed time. He needed to prepare, which I can heavily respect, but he was also visiting. He needed to go out and get supplies to perform said preparation and needed to find poppers. It was pushing 6:00, and I wasn’t going to hang around the city any longer. He ended bailing on me, so I made my way home alone.
Two guys flaked on me; however, talking to them got me riled up. My libido was hungry. When did I become such a horn ball. After 25 years of basically no sex, you think I’d be fine going home with just my right hand.
I had an ace in the hole though. I texted the Middle Eastern guy from the pervious night and asked if he wanted to come over again. I don’t think I lifted my finger off the send button before I got a response back. He was certainly interested, but had to come over later after class. He wouldn’t arrive until around 10. That was fine. I figured out other things to do with my time, like eat dinner.
When he arrived, we went straight to my room, but I’m sure, much to your surprise, we didn’t immediately jump in the sack. We kissed for a bit, but then we simply laid next to each other cuddling while we watched Modern Family. We are both big fans!
Every time there was a commercial, he took the opportunity to kiss me passionately. There were no complaints from me. He was a great kisser. He had perfect lips and knew what he was doing. We also took the time to chat a bit. I wanted to get to know him a little. He lived with a bunch of guys in an apartment and even shared a room with a guy. None of them knew he was gay, and he recently broke up with a girl. He told me he’d been on a handful of Grindr meet-ups, but none were anything like what we shared. He told me how much he enjoyed the previous night and how much he thought about me all day long. It was very flattering, and a little alarming. This kid was falling for me — and fast. I needed to make sure things didn’t get out of control because I didn’t want to hurt him.
I couldn’t tell him what I was looking for because I didn’t know what I was looking for. I really wanted to find a boyfriend, but I wasn’t sure he fit the bill. This was new territory. I’d never dated anyone so much younger than me, let alone still in college. He was a really nice guy, and I could tell his friends loved him, but I was still conflicted. He was very mature, but nonetheless, he was still in school.
When the show was over, the making out led to heavy petting. Things escalated, and I invited him to spend the night. While naked, he walked to the bathroom to take out his contacts. I watched him from the bed, staring longingly at his body. I told him how hot I thought he was. He really riled me up. I loved the innocent confidence he exuded. It was incredibly sexy.
He told me he wanted to go to bed horny so we could wake in the morning and have some real fun. It was late, and I was tired, so I didn’t oppose. With that, he rolled into little spoon position, and I pressed my naked body against his in big spoon position. It felt so comfortable. It felt so right.
In the morning we both woke to the sound of my alarm — strategically set early to allow for time to play. We were both in a very frisky and playful mood. He certainly wasn’t shy about kissing. He loved it and did it often.
Warning: The following may be too graphic for some. While we embraced each other, he whispered in my ear how he wanted to ride me. I certainly was in no position to deny him this privilege. I was looking forward to it. I was shocked, him being so new, how much he was gung-ho about bottoming. I think he discovered he’s really a bottom. He hopped on, and it felt great. He came really close to finishing, but never did. I knew exactly what was happening, so I didn’t put any pressure on him or comment on it. That would only bring it to top of mind and make it worse.
He had to stop. He wanted to keep going, but told me he was sore. He informed me that I was a big guy. I’d never really thought of myself as big. I always thought of myself as average. But, as of late, I was informed otherwise. (This is not something that is important to me, but it is quite the ego boost to hear).
We laid next to each other once again pleasuring ourselves while he laid in the crook of my arm. I finished after a few minutes. I was happy things were turning around for me. It wasn’t taking a long time for me anymore. I was far from a one-minute man, but my mental block was easing. This wasn’t the case for Middle Eastern (will be called M.E. from now on). He never finished, but also never complained. He noted, “I can never [finish] after you’re inside me. I can’t explain it. It feels amazing, like a full body orgasm, but I just never shoot.” I knew exactly what he meant. I told him it’s just part of sex sometimes. I wanted to ease his mind.
With that, we both hopped in the shower, and I took the opportunity to wash him from head to toe with a bar of soap and my hands. It was really sexy and slightly romantic. We both enjoyed it. Then he did the same to me. It felt great!
While I get ready in front of the mirror, he noted its existence. He complimented me on what I was wearing to work. He really was charming and sexy. I was really starting to like this kid. I just worried we wouldn’t be able to have a real relationship. He was in the closet and in college. He told me he wasn’t hiding it anymore, but he was advertising it. I understood, but I just wasn’t sure if it was for me
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Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on April 9, 2012
Today is a Fast Forward Monday!!!
Hope you are enjoying these. It will help bring the blog a little closer to real-time. If you’re keeping up with the stories chronologically, please skip down to this morning’s post first, then read this one. I think it’s a good one! Enjoy!
Back to your special edition of One Gay At A Time…
After spending the day with The Navigator at the beach and then sharing a pretty spectacular relaxing evening together, I slept great. There was a sexy naked man in my bed, and I knew just what to do with it. We fell asleep spooning each other. When I woke in the morning, I couldn’t stop smiling when I realized it wasn’t a dream.
I still had to bring myself back down out of the clouds to keep myself in check. This wasn’t going to last forever. I didn’t care. Right now, there was a man in my bed, and he needed to be cuddled.
I rolled over and pulled him close to me. He was still slipping in and out of sleep. As he woke up, we picked up just where we left off the night before. Everything we did was fun. We were constantly ribbing each other and joking around. When we ended laying face to face, I said to him, “I just want to climb up to the roof and shout, I love my best friend, [The Navigator]. Boop!” as I reached my finger out and tapped him on the nose (an homage to Super Bad).
We both laughed for some time. We continued to cuddle all morning. I didn’t care if I stayed in bed all day. I was happy.
We were interrupted by a call from his roommate. I’d already learned he was a really good friend, and he liked to placate his friends. While he was on the phone, I took out my camera and snapped a few pictures of him lying naked in my bed. I don’t think he realized what I was doing because he had his back to me, but I wanted some souvenirs to take home with me.
Turns out, his roommate wanted to go to the grocery store that afternoon. They share groceries, so he regrettably turned to me and told me he had to go with him that afternoon before we went hiking. I was very disappointed, but I wasn’t going to make a stink about it. I quickly hopped in the shower and got ready for the day while he packed up his things and got dressed. As we walked out the door, I pointed out the Marilyn Monroe portrait saying, “My week with Marilyn.”
I drove him home and dropped him off. I was already sad to see him go even though I knew it was a matter of hours before I’d see him again. I grabbed some lunch and made my way back to the pool. I relaxed with some light reading. I needed to finish off the Tickle My Tush book so I could write my review.
When most of the afternoon passed by and some noisy kids arrived at the pool, I texted him to see how he was progressing. He was on his way home, so I decided to go get ready to go hiking and make my way over to his place.
I pick him up, and we take a short drive to the base of the mountain. I grab my camera and we make our way up the trail. When we get to a decent height, he suggests we climb back down part way and hit up another trail that had a much better view. We were having fun just being together. On our way back down, he pointed out a shack along the trail: “I wanted to surprise you, but this is going to be where we live when we get married. :)” While he said this, he took hold of my arm. I knew he was completely kidding, but it was also a sweet gesture.
When we got to the top of the other trail, we had quite a view. We could see LA and Burbank off in the distance. He took my camera from me and took some pictures of me. Again, I thought this was a sweet gesture, as were many things he did. He was just very conscientious. You didn’t have to ask him to do things; he just anticipated it. I was falling for him more and more every minute, but I still maintained my mental state.
I then turned the camera on him and snapped a few pictures. I wanted to remember the great guy I met in LA. I hoped we’d remain friends even after I returned to New York. It would certainly be nice to have a friend on the West Coast. Maybe I could even come back to visit some time.
We climbed back down the mountain and made our way to Burbank. We joked about PDA. We both agreed we weren’t really into it, but at one point he casually reached out his hand and grabbed my junk while looking the other way. I pointed out to him that just because he wasn’t looking at it doesn’t mean other people wouldn’t see it as well. We both laughed and continued to joke about other things. We walked around for a little bit and grabbed some ice cream. He was cold, and I was trying to do my best to keep him warm without making him feel uncomfortable. That’s when he broke the bad news to me.
He’d already prepared me for the possibility he’d have to go to work that night at 1:00am. He was on call, and they hadn’t gotten back to him yet. He needed to go home and nap before that shift started.
My heart sank a little. He wouldn’t be spending the night in my bed again. I needed to be a big boy about it though. I drove him back to his apartment and said goodbye. We talked about seeing each other the following day since it was my last day there; I had a flight out at 10:00pm.
I returned to my hotel room and watched TV in my bed. I knew he was napping, but it was make or break for me to ask him if he would come with me for my ride up the Pacific Coast Highway. After debating for some time, I decided to text him: “Lonely here without you already 😦 haha. What are the chances you’d wanna ride up the PCH with me after work tom?” I really didn’t want to take that ride alone. I loved his company, but I seriously feared a disappointing answer.
The Navigator wouldn’t let me down like that: “LOL. I know. I wish I were cuddling with you!!!!! That sounds like a swell idea.” I was thrilled. I was prepared for the worst, and I got the best. I was looking forward to tomorrow’s road trip so much more now that I had my Navigator! “Marylyn Misses you too,” I added.
Shortly after that text, he requested I send him some pictures of myself. “You’re most handsome ones,” he added. “Whom are you showing me to now?” I asked. Apparently, he wanted to show off his “super long first date” to his roommate and his other friend.
I was pretty crazy about him, but reality wasn’t absent from my brain. It did, however, bring a big smile to my face to know he was showing me off to his friends. It made me feel special and gave me hope I would have a longtime friend from what started as weak Grindr banter…
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Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on March 30, 2012
Yesterday I was shocked to receive a comment telling me I’ve been nominated for the TMI Award. I was pleasantly surprised from this great honor.
Id like to thank sensiboutique.com for blowing my mind with this great award.
The TMI Blog Award honors those blogs that discuss everything in detail and do it well. These bloggers aren’t afraid to discuss their most awkward, embarrassing and intimate experiences with honesty, humor and little to no filter.
Here are the rules
- Thank the person who presented you with the award.
- Link back to the blogger who presented the award to you.
- Share an awkward, embarrassing and intimate story in 250 words or less.
- Copy and paste the blog award on your blog.
- Present the TMI Blog Award to 5 – 10 deserving blogs.
- Let them know they have been chosen by leaving a comment at their blog.
Back to your regularly scheduled (oversharing) program…
After yet another failed date, I tried to see what other fish I could snag. It’d been a few months since my last relationship, and I was hungry for something real. It’d been even longer than a few months since I had that.
I was spending a lot of time on Grindr, Manhunt, Adam4adam.com, and OKCupid searching for Mr. Right while trying to convince myself to ignore Mr. Right Now.
I started to chat with a few guys, but work had other plans for me. I was being sent out to L.A. for a few days. I’m certainly not complaining, because this is one of the best places I’ve been sent to date. I even decided to extend my stay while I was out there. I told my boss I would be staying through Sunday night and coming back on the redeye (on my own dollar of course). The few guys whose interest I peaked would have to be patient and wait until I returned to the East Coast.
I chatted with my roommate before I left for L.A. I was debating how to spend my time out there. I knew I wanted to bask in the sun end get a head start on some color. But, would I be consulting Grindr while out there, or would I be using the time to find my center once again? A big part of me noticed I was getting out of control again, but another part of me asked, why not? I was single I could live it up. I decided I would make a game-time decision.
I landed a few hours ahead of the rest of my team. This was by my own design so I could relax by the pool for a few hours before digging in. It was one of my better ideas recently, because when I landed, the weather was gorgeous. After two short hours, I got a text from the team they’d arrived. I met them at the conference room, and they all commented on how I’d already gotten some color.
I continued to work the rest of the evening, and we went out for dinner after a longs day’s work. I had fun with this team. It wasn’t the usual stuffy crowd. This crew had level heads on their shoulders.
The next day, we presented like rock stars. I told my team how great they did and how I was going to use them as a case study going forward with all my other teams.
After we all went out for a spectacular lunch, I said goodbye as they all jetted off to the airport. For me, it was back to the pool.
While I laid there, of course I pulled out my friend Grindr. I wanted to see the talent in the Glendale area (where my hotel was). I managed to find a decent amount of guys and even started chatting with a few of them. Of course, against my better judgment, I decided to have some fun. I found a guy who was looking for fun as well, and I told him to come by. He happened to be driving through the neighborhood, so he obliged.
I made my way back to my room and waited for him to arrive. When I heard a knock at the door, I greeted a man who I can only guess was some sort of Armenian type. I really had no clue though. He had a decent body, and we got right down to business.
Warning: The following may be too graphic for some. We made out a bit until he laid back on the bed with his legs in the air. I pulled out a condom and gave him what he was asking for. He certainly liked it — I could tell because he continued to tell me how much he enjoyed it. He was a good bottom, and I had a good time. After some time, he finished all over his chest. Shortly after, I added to the fun as a smile crossed both our faces. I handed him a towel and he cleaned up in my bathroom.
As he dressed himself, he mentioned how nice it was to have a good top around. Apparently, the Glendale area had too many bottoms and not enough tops. I wasn’t sure if this was a good thing or a bad thing for me concerning the remainder of my trip.
He was also very realistic about what transpired. We both treated it very transactional. He didn’t stick around afterwards or linger. He realized we were both there to satiate the animal within, and when we’d had our fill, he peaced out. He was a body, and I was a body. That’s all. I never knew his name. I didn’t even have his phone number.
I never would have thought I could have this mentality when I think back a year ago. I was telling N nearly a year before this how I don’t think I could ever have emotionless sex. I always thought I would only have sex with passion and love back then. I wasn’t thrilled with my transformation. I would have preferred to stay the same, but I’d already realized how enjoyable sex can be.
Follow @onegayatatimeValentine’s Letdown
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on March 27, 2012
Valentine’s Day had arrived. I managed to find myself single once again. I have yet to celebrate a Valentine’s Day. The one year it came while I was dating Broadway, we couldn’t be together because I got shipped off for work to the Midwest.
I ended my intense weeklong relationship with PR just the night before. I knew it was bad form to stick to our plans to go out for a romantic evening if I was just going to be faking it.
Just because I wasn’t going out for a romantic dinner doesn’t mean I wasn’t looking forward to the company of a man. For some unknown reason, I was exceptionally horny that day. Granted this has become the norm, and I’m starting to wonder if I may have a problem. However, I wasn’t stopping myself from exploring possibilities that day. I was single and ready to mingle.
I was all over Grindr and even pulled up the OKCupid app to see who was around my area. When this produced little results, I began to filter through all my previous Grindr, Adam4dam.com, OKCupid, and Manhunt contacts to see if there maybe something I missed or someone I wanted to revisit.
I messaged a few guys and asked what they were up to. The ones who I hadn’t spoken to in quite a while I asked how they’d been since we last spoke.
One guy hit me up on Grindr. I was pretty horny, so I wasn’t being picky. He was just offering to come over and give me a blowj*b. I at the very least had a fallback. I was really looking to get it in, but I would settle for him if no candidates produced themselves.
I wasn’t happy with who I was becoming. Once again, I was letting myself get out of control. I needed to reign in my sex life, but that day, I just wanted to get it in. Tomorrow is another day.
I started chatting with the guy I’d gone on an awkward date with. We’d already talked about trying to figure something out about getting together again. I could tell he was more interested in sex than a relationship, but there was also still a glimmer of hope there for something to bud. I don’t claim to be a pro in the bedroom, but I do think, based on previous feedback, I am pretty damn good between the sheets. Maybe I could win him over that way.
We went back and forth for some time about him coming over. He wanted to go to the gym and hadn’t left work yet. Apparently I didn’t give him enough notice, but I could tell he was very interested. We talked about the logistics, and I made some great progress imploring him to come over. He told me he’d try to get his errands done and then he’d be in touch.
In the meantime, I had the blowjob on hold. I told him I had some work to do, and I would get back to him. He wasn’t thrilled, but he accepted my proposal of postponement. I told him I’d reach out to him as soon as I finished my work.
Finally, I got a text message. It appeared we were going to have our “second date” after all. He was wrapping up a few things and then he’d be over. He informed me he was bringing his c*ckring and poppers. I told him that was fine, but I wouldn’t be partaking in the poppers.
I immediately hopped in the shower to clean up, shave and prep for his arrival. I also opened a bottle of wine so we could relax before just jumping in the sack. I wanted to seduce him a little.
When he arrived, he was slightly awkward. I poured him a glass of wine and we sat on the couch chatting and drinking. When I felt the moment was right, I made a move. I was all but on his lap kissing him. And that’s when I learned why he was still single.
He was the worst kisser I’d ever been with. I thought he was going to eat my face. All that time I spent staring longingly at his lips, and that’s how he chose to use them. It was a very sad Valentine’s Day. I tried to soldier on past it. I tried to lead him and make-do the best I could.
Finally, I stood up to take a break, took him by the hand and led him to my bedroom. We slowly undressed each other. I was enjoying peeling his clothes off one by one. As I did, I was groping his entire body. He had a very sexy body and great skin. I couldn’t stop feeling him up.
Warning: The following may be too graphic for some. We laid head to toe and began orally pleasing each other. Eventually, he stopped to put on his c*ckring and grab his poppers from his jeans pocket.
When he came back to the bed, I began orally pleasing his bottom. He had a great a$s and manscaped very well. I was enjoying myself, but it didn’t seem I was doing the best job for him. That’s when I learned he doesn’t really get anything out of it, he told me apologetically. I didn’t understand because long ago he told me he was a bottom. I also recalled how much stimulation he got from his nipples, so I concentrated on them. He went wild.
A short time later, we laid next to each other stimulating ourselves. It didn’t take long before I finished all over his chest per his request. For once it didn’t take me forever to climax. As soon as I finished, he too exploded on his chest.
After giving him a towel and we both cleaned up, we laid next to each other in bed. I wanted to cuddle, but he didn’t seem the type to I just put my hand on his inner thigh. We chatted about the most random things. He was staring at my bookcase, and we talked about some of the books on the shelf. I pointed out my only gay book on the shelf, Beaches. It’s a picture book I like to page through periodically. He told me all the gay books on his bookshelf deal with barebacking. A huge red flag went off in my brain! Was he into barebacking? I didn’t ask him to elaborate, but I wish I did.
That’s when I hopped on his back and began to give him a massage. I have very large and very strong hands. I like to put them to good use. Apparently he was a little more delicate that I anticipated. He asked me to lighten up a bit, but he was enjoying what I was doing. I noticed how he analyzed everything. He really was a headshrinker.
When I stopped, he started inspecting my skin. I recalled on our date how he wished he was a dermatologist. He was very complimentary of my skin and complexion. I appreciated the compliment, but the delivery was incredibly awkward. He was not an easygoing guy, and I started to realize how little I was attracted to him. On top of that, I was starting to get an irritation on my neck from where he was trying to eat it. I knew then this would not be a repeat offender.
With that, he got dressed, collected his things, and we said goodbye at the door. He left very unceremoniously. I had no plans to reach out to him again after that. We’d had such a long history, making it weird, but we’d only really known each other a short while. He too had no plans to reach out to me.
Ironically enough, he messaged me on Grindr the other night, but of course this went nowhere.
Now, the only question is when and if I unfriend him on Facebook and what are the consequences?
Follow @onegayatatimeGym Hottie
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on March 14, 2012
Since my breakup with Smiles, I’ve been making greater efforts to spend more time with friends. I didn’t neglect them while I was dating him, but I certainly didn’t shower them with attention either. They’re very important to me, and I wanted to make sure they knew they were appreciated. Of course, I also just loved hanging out with them, otherwise they wouldn’t be my friends.
One of my old roommates asked me if I wanted to go out to the bar. It’d been a long time since he’d done this. It came quite out of the blue, but I was very happy for the invitation. Since we don’t live together, we get along much better. It wasn’t that we fought all the time while we lived together or anything. It’s just much simpler now. I look forward to bar nights with him.
At the same time, one of the girls who I know from my annual Martha’s Vineyard trips was planning a birthday gathering the same night a block from my office. I asked my old roommate if he minded going there for happy hour. I thought it would make things convenient so I could spend time with both. It’d been a long time since I caught up with both friends.
My old roommate and I arrived at the bar early. We made our way through the crowd at Gingerman to the bar to order some beers. I offered to pick up the first round, as I generally do. I handed him his beer and we cheersed. It was at that moment I learned it was his birthday. I had no idea until he said something. I felt like such a sh*t. He was a close friend, and I was usually up on that sort of thing. I have everyone’s birthday in my phone, so I checked to see how I missed the date. It turned out I didn’t have his birthday in there, but with more investigation, I had scheduled it a month later on the same date. I told him how bad I felt, but also added, “At least I offered to buy the round! Haha.” He laughed and quickly forgave my mistake. I thought about it for a second, and realized I was the only one meeting him for drinks. I was the one he wanted to spend his birthday with. I was touched and happy.
We stood by the door because it was the only place we could stand, drink and have a discussion. He told me his plans to go to Atlantic City that weekend for his birthday with a busload of people. I wished him luck since it sounded like such a complicated situation.
After some time, the birthday girl arrived. She came in and gave me a big hug. I introduced her to my old roommate, and we quickly caught up. She decided to make her way to the back of the bar to see if she could grab a table when the bouncer chased us away from the front door. My old roommate and I had already been back there and knew there were no tables, so I let her find out for herself after telling her that. He and I made our way to the front corner of the bar. Just as we did, a couch opened up. I texted the birthday girl to come join us. About ten minutes later, she finally did and brought the rest of her group over.
I talked with my old roommate as more and more people filtered in. It was becoming an intimate little circle. I introduced him to everyone that joined that I knew. When the evening was dragging on, I decided I was read to head home. I had to take equipment home from work, so I was going to book a car service from my office. I invited my old roommate to join me since he still lives in Hoboken as well, and he accepted. I pointed out how I bought all his drinks and provided him a ride home, proving I wasn’t a bad friend who forgot his birthday after all.
We said goodbye to the birthday girl and the rest of the group. She pulled me aside and told me how cute he was. I explained to her he wasn’t a love interest. I pointed out how she’d met him at my Christmas parties, as well as his girlfriend. She was so confused, but I realized what happened. He was guilty by association. Because he was sitting on the couch with me, and because of my status as a gay man, everyone who knew this bit of information also assumed he was gay as well.
As we walked to the car, I pointed out to him what happened. Even though there was nothing I could have done to prevent it, I apologized to him for it. He was oblivious to it, and he laughed it off.
That night, I also had to say goodbye to another ex-roommate. He was still a good friend and tennis partner. He was moving to San Francisco for work, which meant I would probably see him once a year like my other San Francisco friends. I was very sad to see another friend go. Slowly but surely, all my friends were moving away or pairing up and falling off the face of the earth. I know this is part of getting older, but that doesn’t make it any less painful.
My sister and I went to the bar where he and his friends were gathering. It was nice to get to see him since it had been so long. He’d been quite busy with his new job, but now I’d see even less of him. After I got to chat with him for a bit, I texted my other friends, D and his girlfriend and asked what they were up to. They wanted to meet up for drinks, so we decided to go to Cooper’s Union, where I know the owner and bartender.
We met them there, and the whole lot of us wasn’t charged for a single drink the entire night. He always took great care of me and my friends when he worked at my usual watering hole. Now that he branched off and opened his own bar, the attention only got better.
I had a great time with everyone that night. I got to see so many of my friends. Normally I’m too lazy to do any of these things. I always bail last minute out of selfishness, but I was trying to be better about it. It was already paying off. I had a really great time.
In the middle of all this, a gorgeous man walked into the bar. I’d seen him many times before. I’d actually seen quite a bit of him as well. He was a usual at my favorite bar, and he was a usual at my gym in the city. Apparently we both lived in Hoboken, and we both worked in the same neighborhood. I’d had a crush on him for a looonnnggg time, but had a very strong feeling he was straight. He was still gorgeous and fun to look at.
At the same time, I noticed he caught my sister’s eye as well. It’s ironic, but we have the same taste in men periodically. We both acknowledged shared interest in him, but I pointed out to her it wasn’t even worth a battle. She’d already won. There was almost no question in my mind he was straight “How do you know?” she asked. “I can just tell. But, I can also tell you he looks great with no clothes on — At least from the backside anyway,” I added. We both laughed and she continued to ogle him from afar. I did as well, but I was much more discreet about it.
When I was tired and it was time to go home, I gathered everyone to make our way home. Of course I wasn’t going to walk out without paying. I gathered cash from everyone and handed him a wad of cash before walking out the door.
I had a great night. I saw a lot of my friends in one night, I got to scope out a hottie I’ve had my eye on, and I had cheap drinks. Maybe single life was working out well for me. Maybe it was time I tried that for a while… Maybe not…
Follow @onegayatatimeLet’s Do Lunch
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on March 12, 2012
A few days after my date with Connecticut Cutie, we made plans to grab lunch.
Apparently, he had a very laxed work schedule, and he was able to come down to my neighborhood to meet me for a bite. It was nice to have a lunch date. Most days, I eat my lunch at my desk so I can go to the gym in the afternoon. It’d been some time since my last lunch date was well.
I rearranged my day so I could make this happen. I did not want to cancel on him last minute. Of course right when I was getting ready to walk out the door, people started coming to me with work. I told them I had a meeting to run to, and I snuck out of the office.
He had chosen to meet me at Cafe Rustico. It’s a small pizza place around the corner. Since I was a little late, he went to scope the place out.
When I met him on the corner by my office, he told me he wasn’t thrilled with it and asked if I knew of any good places in the neighborhood we could go. I picked a spot, Lena, and ran it by him. He was fine with it, so we decided on that. We ordered our food, and I picked up the tab. We found a small table to eat and chat. He told me more about his getting locked in the bathroom on the train going home after leaving me from our last date. He was quite a goofball. I loved it.
This time, we spent a lot of time talking about my roommates and his. Mine being my current lot, and his being his parents. Both had their positives, but they also had some big negatives as well. We also talked about our coworkers and bosses and our different situations at work. It was nice learning about his job. Last we spoke, it was left a little vague. However, overall, I think I monopolized most of the conversation.
I was enjoying spending time with him. I wasn’t completely sold on him yet. Only time would tell. But, he was certainly a nice guy and was winning me over slowly. My main hesitation was that maybe he was a little “too gay” for me. I wondered if he’d get along with my friends. My other hesitation was that he was living in Connecticut. How often were we going to be able to see each other?
We talked about what each of us had planned for the weekend. I had nothing special going on, and he was helping his dad remodel their bathroom at home. He joked about his “manly DIY project.”
After we each finished, we made our way to the door. I had to get back to work, and he needed to visit one of his stores and check on the merchandising.
We stood outside the restaurant to say our goodbyes. We exchanged a very nice hug, and then he went in for the big kiss. We pulled back, and he went in again for another, like he just couldn’t get enough. He was a good kisser. I liked it. It was a good sign for him.
I was slightly uncomfortable knowing any one of my coworkers could walk by at any second, but another part of me just didn’t care. Let them see. I’m not hiding anymore. I’m not going to walk around the office broadcasting my sexuality, but I also am not going to hide it.
I walked in the other direction with a smile from ear to ear. It’d been a while since a man kissed me like that. Lately, I’d been the one to initiate. Smiles was never particularly affectionate either.
I was heading to Chicago again for work, and I wanted to see him again before I left. When I got back to my desk, I texted him to thank him for meeting me and told him we’d get together again soon…
Follow @onegayatatimeAt the ripe age of 26, I came to a life changing conclusion. I'm GAY!
It took me 26 years to realize this and come to terms with it, but coming out's been the best decision of my life.
This blog is about my dating life in NYC and what happens next...
One Gay at a Time 