Posts Tagged straight
Since I’ve been slacking, I’m going to make it up to you this week. Hope you don’t have a busy week, because you’ve got a lot of content coming your way!
For as long as I can remember, I was trying to nail down a date with a specific guy I met on adam4adam.com. He had the cutest smile that could light up a room (in case you haven’t noticed — and I’m just coming to this realization — I’m a sucker for smiles). He messaged a few times on a4a, but nothing ever materialized.
Months passed, but I could never seem to get him to meet me. He’d show a lot of interest, and then he’d disappear for a bit. Like the ocean, it was a constant ebb and flow with him. Finally, I just flat out gave up on him, and I didn’t hear from him again. When I broke up with Smiles, I went back through my saved messages and decided to hit him up and see if this time would be different.
Ironically enough, I learned he moved out of the city. He was originally from Connecticut, and he moved back home with his parents to save a little money. It seemed now he was interested in finally meeting me, just when it would be most difficult. We discussed many evenings as possibilities to grab a drink before we finally found a good day to grab lunch. Even then, we were playing things by ear.
Of course, this didn’t happen. He had to cancel on me. However, he proposed raincheck options. He agreed to meet me for a drink one night after work on his way to Grand Central to hop on Metro North to CT. I did some research to find a bar that would be convenient for both of us. We set a time, and I told him to meet me at Annie Moran’s by Grand Central Station.
I was already having reservations about this guy. Was this how it was going to be all the time. Quick rendezvous before he went home? I finished work before him, so I decided to walk there instead of taking a subway or cab. It was raining lightly, so I broke out my umbrella, however I wasn’t walking alone. I had Grindr to keep me company while I walked. I’m such a whore. I was already looking for the next date before this one even got off the ground. But, it’s what you gotta do if you have an aversion to gay clubs. I stood outside the bar paging through profiles while I waited for him to arrive. He too was walking from work, and he worked about fifteen blocks away.
Just before he walked up, he gave me a call. I told him where I was, and when he saw me he hung up. As he walked towards me, he wasn’t quite what I was expecting. It wasn’t a bad thing; he was just smaller than I originally thought. We greeted each other with a handshake, and with that made our way into the bar. He offered to buy me a drink since I’d been waiting for him. I was in charge of watching our bags and trying to find a piece of real estate to stand/sit and chat.
He came back with the beers, and we dove into conversation. It was slow going at first, going through the standard order of questions. As he talked about his job in fashion, I noticed a bit of flamboyance coming through. I wasn’t thrilled, but it was far from a deal breaker. He was certainly cute (although he looked much cuter in his pictures before he cut his hair shorter).
We talked about family, work, his moving back home, where I live and grew up, commuting nightmares, etc. It was nice. I couldn’t quite tell if he was all that into me. I was starting to think he thought I was too “straight” for him. But, as the conversation progressed, his body language began to change. I realized he may have just been nervous. Once he relaxed, I could tell, he was flirting a little heavier. After the first beer, he asked if I wanted another. I gladly accepted. I figured he was going to dictate the end of the date since he was the one who had to catch a train. He told me all about his curfew and how he’d have to take a taxi if it got past a certain hour; his parents would no longer pick him up.
We talked about watching sports on TV and participating in them. Somehow skiing came up, and I told him my story about the first time I skied and how well I did. When the group next to us lef their table I snatched it, while he got us a third round of drinks. The date was going well, or at least I thought so.
While we sat, he took the opportunity to touch my leg periodically. I love that. It’s a surefire sign of interest. I returned the favor as well. I could tell there was a lot of sexual energy between us as well. We were both feeling it. We talked more about what we do for fun when we’er not working. He told me about his old apartment and how he still comes back into the city to do rotating dinner with friends at their respectful apartments. There were slight awkward pauses, but that can be warranted on a first date.
When he finished his third beer, he told me he had to be running for his train. I thanked him for picking up the tab, and I told him I would pay next time. “If there can be a next time,” I added. I walked him to the doors of Grand Central and said goodbye. He was lingering, and I could tell he wanted a kiss. I wasn’t sure his position on PDA, but I decided to go for it. I wanted a kiss, so I was going to get one. I leaned in with my arm behind his back and gave him a nice quick kiss goodbye. We agreed to find time to see each other again soon as we parted ways.
On my ride home, I took the opportunity to text him and let him know I thought he was cute. He told he had a great time, but also told me how he’d locked himself in the bathroom on the train. It was a really funny story, and I was happy to hear he had such a great sense of humor and easy-going personality. He told me he wanted to grab lunch later in the week, and I agreed. We would figure out a time that worked for us both. I was already looking forward to it…Follow @onegayatatime
This isn’t one of my typical posts, but it was something I viewed recently in my life I thought was poignant:
Every once in a while a great show comes along that pushes the envelope. I’d have to say that Glee is one of those shows. With its complicated high school dynamic and homosexual story lines, the hit show expanding peoples’ homophobic comfort zones and educating them about the bullying of young gays today.
Since its inception, I’ve been a fan of Glee. But a few weeks ago, they took the show’s storyline beyond my most optimistic expectations.
The show started as one of the show’s more run-of-the-mill episodes. And, in the weeks leading up to this episode, sexual tension was building between Kurt and Blaine. But, in this particular episode, they finally found each other in the culmination of a passionate kiss.
(In an attempt to show you the kiss in full quality, I pulled it from the FOX website and posted it on my Youtube channel. However, the fine folks at FOX pulled it down. So, this amateur footage will have to suffice).
Granted, the audience I was watching with with is biased. I’d hope they’d be comfortable with a homosexual relationship after being around me for the past year. But, when they passionately kissed, I looked at my roommate and his girlfriend expecting a reaction. Nothing. To them, it was just another kiss on TV. I turned my attention back to Kurt and Blaine as they went in for a second open mouthed kiss. These were no minor pecks either. They were passionate, long kisses.
As someone who recently came out, this was monumental for me. All I could think about was how big of a deal this was. Two young boys kissing on a hit television show.
The next day, I was expecting the conservative right-wing backlash. But, all was quiet. I was both shocked and delighted. I was surprised no one made a fuss about two young boys kissing on television, but thrilled, because it is finally accepted in today’s culture. Progress. It’s no longer the spectacle it once was.
I can remember one episode of Will & Grace when Will kissed Jack in the audience of the Today show. It was a big deal back then for a show of such subject matter to be on network TV, let alone two of its main male characters kissing each other.
While watching Glee, I thought back to all the gay kisses I’ve seen on TV since Will & Grace and couldn’t think of a single instance (and I watch a lot of television). So, I decided to do some light research (don’t hold this against me, but feel free to correct me in the comments if I’m wrong).
Gay men kissing on television didn’t appear until the 90s. Shows like Melrose Place in 1994 would lead up to a kiss, but in the final moments, cut away, usually to someone else watching in utter shock. It wasn’t until 2000 that we got TV’s first real gay kiss on WB’s Dawson’s Creek. I say real, because the kiss is portrayed as genuine and slightly awkward; the way most first gay kisses are. However, this wasn’t network television. It was cable. 2006 was the year ABC’s Desperate Housewives portrayed two high school boys kissing. But again, we were back to the fast cut-away to a mother’s shock and anger. They completely redeem themselves however, by later portraying the two boys waking up in bed naked together. Nonetheless, homosexual teen relationships finally landed on a major network TV show. And in 2006, ABC’s recently cancelled Brothers & Sisters brought us our first nuptial gay kiss.
These days, Glee has become somewhat of the gay agenda’s lobby group (Not that we have any other agenda than equal rights and acceptance). I certainly have to thank them for expanding acceptance into homes that might not have otherwise been so accepting. And, while I have some issues their portrayals of gay stereotypes, they are doing more good than harm. Kurt (Chris Colfer) has been a fun character, but he’s also an extraordinarily stereotypical gay character. He loves show tunes, wears ridiculously fashioned outfits, joins the girls when the club is split by gender, etc. This season, with the addition of Blaine (Darren Criss), we see a gay character who’s confident in who he is — apparently a pretty normal guy who’s had it rough but who’s done a good job of dealing with it. By portraying less effeminate gay characters on television, hopefully we can begin to shed the “queen” stereotype as well.
I think Michael Jenson, editor of Logo’s AfterElton.com said it best. “It’s hard to overstate the significance of the kiss between Kurt and Blaine on ‘Glee.’ It wasn’t the sort of kiss we saw back in the 90s where the guys pecked each other on the lips — or worse, the camera cutaway — but this was a real kiss that hinted there is much more to come in this relationship. If we still needed proof how far gay characters have come on network TV, ‘Glee’ just gave it to us. The two most recent episodes have represented queer youth and coming of age in a way I’ve never seen on broadcast television before, let alone one of the most popular shows in the country, with a mostly young audience.”