Posts Tagged postpone

Sticking to the Plan

I had a Friday to myself, and I wasted it on hookups. I could have been doing something productive like going to the gym or grocery shopping, but instead, I spent the day inside trying to line up sex.

There was one man in particular who I’d exchanged messages with on adam4adam.com. He was a well-built guy with a sexy body. He had a nice amount of body hair, great muscles and a spectacular behind. We’d talked about hooking up a few times, but we’d never seemed to line our schedules up. I messaged him, but he didn’t respond.

I continued to search for other guys on the computer when he finally responded. He didn’t read my message until it was too late. We exchanged phone numbers, and he called and told me he had a lot of errands to run before his mother’s birthday the following day. He wasn’t able to see me until later, but suggested we Skype in the meantime. I had nothing to do, so I agreed.

He was even good-looking with bed head on the computer. I couldn’t imagine how sexy he was in person. Seeing him on the computer was just making me hornier, if that’s even possible. I tried so hard to convince him to come by before his errands and do them later. All he needed to do was time-shift his day. He kept telling me the only way it would work is if I came to his apartment. I couldn’t because it was raining, and I don’t ride the motorcycle in the rain. We pushed back and forth for some time to no avail. Of course there was some teasing with body parts on camera while all this was going on. I couldn’t wait to feel his sexy body. Alas, he had to go, so I said goodbye and we made tentative plans for later. I told him when I came by, he’d certainly have to wear his jockstrap for me. He gave me a disclaimer. He was up for almost anything, but he was not up for full penetration the first time meeting me. I was a little disappointed, but understandable.

That’s when I turned to the Mexican guy in the previous post. He was willing to come by right then, and I needed a release. I had immediate regret after that encounter.

Later in the day, my old roommate texted and asked if I was interested in meeting up for happy hour. After being cooped up in my apartment all day, I thought that sounded like a spectacular idea. No one ever invites me out for drinks either. It’s usually me doing the inviting, so it was a special treat. I texted the burly man from my morning Skype session to tell him I’d have to postpone. He called immediately protesting. I told him other things came up, and I wouldn’t be able to come by. He didn’t stop persisting to try to persuade me otherwise. I told him he could have solved the whole thing had he come by earlier in the day.

The clock reached 6:00, and I hadn’t heard from my old roommate. I reached out to burly man to see if he was still available. Indeed he was. I agreed to come to his place a few miles from my apartment. He told me he would be waiting for me in bed wearing nothing but a jock and would leave the door unlocked for me to just walk in.

I drove over there and texted him when I got to his neighborhood. I tried the door, but it was locked. I called him to tell him, and he said his upstairs renter must have left and locked the door behind him. He told me to back away so he could unlock the door. I did as I was told and gave him a minute to get back to his bed.

Warning: The following may be too graphic for some. I came in, undressed down to my boxer briefs and began kissing his back while pressing my body against his. It was as great as I imagined. His a$$ looked incredible in that jockstrap! I could barely resist him. We had a lot of fun together. There was a lot of groping, heavy petting, kissing, sucking, licking, biting, rubbing, etc. It was great. I was really enjoying the jockstrap as well. I was grinding on his backside, almost penetrating him, but never fully entering him. He really enjoyed it and was pushing me further, but in the end, he stopped himself.

He was begging for me to finish, and he brought me to the edge many times. He started orally pleasuring me. He thoroughly enjoyed this, and it was turning me on since he was enjoying it so much. Eventually, I finished in his mouth and all over my abdomen, and he loved it. He began to use his hand to pleasure himself. I helped by applying pressure to different areas until he finished all over his abdomen. We’d chatted about how each of us shoots on Skype, and it was interesting how different and how similar we were. His description was pretty spot on for what actually happened.

We both just laid there a minute and enjoyed the feeling pulsing through our bodies. I still couldn’t get over how amazing his a$$ was. I wanted to penetrate him so bad, but I knew that would have to wait for another day. He hopped out of bed and handed me a towel to clean up. While I stood there, I met two of his cats. They were very cool. This guy was quite into animals. He had a huge saltwater fish tank as well. He ran to the restroom while I got dressed. I also took the opportunity to snap two pictures. He came back and got dressed as well.

He walked me outside and chatted a bit while he smoked a cigarette. He didn’t live in the best of neighborhoods. An old woman so strung out on something walked by, and he engaged her in conversation for quite some time before finally offering her one of his cigarettes and sending her on her way. He told me about how his mother lived next door and his family’s ties with the city. He was a really nice guy. I could see myself seeing this guy again some time. He told me he was also kinda seeing some guy, but it was very casual and nothing serious. He mentioned the desire to see me again sometime, but we didn’t set up anything concrete.

I sped off on the motorcycle back home to shower and get ready to go out and meet up with friends. The only friend interested in going out was P. We agreed to hit up one of my favorite local spots where I know the owner, and he takes good care of me, Cooper’s Union in Hoboken. We had a relaxing night drinking and sitting at the bar. I told her about how I was getting out of control, and it was then I decided I was going on a Grindr diet. This had gone on far too long. I was realistic enough to know I couldn’t quit it cold turkey, but I also knew it was a great temptation for me. I was going to try to steer clear. I would only go on to see if someone messaged me. I would no longer cast out a net and would no longer have it running on my phone all day. I needed a break. I was addicted, and it was time for me to ween myself off the drug…

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Valentine’s Letdown

Valentine’s Day had arrived. I managed to find myself single once again. I have yet to celebrate a Valentine’s Day. The one year it came while I was dating Broadway, we couldn’t be together because I got shipped off for work to the Midwest.

I ended my intense weeklong relationship with PR just the night before. I knew it was bad form to stick to our plans to go out for a romantic evening if I was just going to be faking it.

Just because I wasn’t going out for a romantic dinner doesn’t mean I wasn’t looking forward to the company of a man. For some unknown reason, I was exceptionally horny that day. Granted this has become the norm, and I’m starting to wonder if I may have a problem. However, I wasn’t stopping myself from exploring possibilities that day. I was single and ready to mingle.

I was all over Grindr and even pulled up the OKCupid app to see who was around my area. When this produced little results, I began to filter through all my previous Grindr, Adam4dam.com, OKCupid, and Manhunt contacts to see if there maybe something I missed or someone I wanted to revisit.

I messaged a few guys and asked what they were up to. The ones who I hadn’t spoken to in quite a while I asked how they’d been since we last spoke.

One guy hit me up on Grindr. I was pretty horny, so I wasn’t being picky. He was just offering to come over and give me a blowj*b.  I at the very least had a fallback. I was really looking to get it in, but I would settle for him if no candidates produced themselves.

I wasn’t happy with who I was becoming. Once again, I was letting myself get out of control. I needed to reign in my sex life, but that day, I just wanted to get it in. Tomorrow is another day.

I started chatting with the guy I’d gone on an awkward date with. We’d already talked about trying to figure something out about getting together again. I could tell he was more interested in sex than a relationship, but there was also still a glimmer of hope there for something to bud. I don’t claim to be a pro in the bedroom, but I do think, based on previous feedback, I am pretty damn good between the sheets. Maybe I could win him over that way.

We went back and forth for some time about him coming over. He wanted to go to the gym and hadn’t left work yet. Apparently I didn’t give him enough notice, but I could tell he was very interested. We talked about the logistics, and I made some great progress imploring him to come over. He told me he’d try to get his errands done and then he’d be in touch.

In the meantime, I had the blowjob on hold. I told him I had some work to do, and I would get back to him. He wasn’t thrilled, but he accepted my proposal of postponement. I told him I’d reach out to him as soon as I finished my work.

Finally, I got a text message. It appeared we were going to have our “second date” after all. He was wrapping up a few things and then he’d be over. He informed me he was bringing his c*ckring and poppers. I told him that was fine, but I wouldn’t be partaking in the poppers.

I immediately hopped in the shower to clean up, shave and prep for his arrival. I also opened a bottle of wine so we could relax before just jumping in the sack. I wanted to seduce him a little.

When he arrived, he was slightly awkward. I poured him a glass of wine and we sat on the couch chatting and drinking. When I felt the moment was right, I made a move. I was all but on his lap kissing him. And that’s when I learned why he was still single.

He was the worst kisser I’d ever been with. I thought he was going to eat my face. All that time I spent staring longingly at his lips, and that’s how he chose to use them. It was a very sad Valentine’s Day. I tried to soldier on past it. I tried to lead him and make-do the best I could.

Finally, I stood up to take a break, took him by the hand and led him to my bedroom. We slowly undressed each other. I was enjoying peeling his clothes off one by one. As I did, I was groping his entire body. He had a very sexy body and great skin. I couldn’t stop feeling him up.

Warning: The following may be too graphic for some. We laid head to toe and began orally pleasing each other. Eventually, he stopped to put on his c*ckring and grab his poppers from his jeans pocket.

When he came back to the bed, I began orally pleasing his bottom. He had a great a$s and manscaped very well. I was enjoying myself, but it didn’t seem I was doing the best job for him. That’s when I learned he doesn’t really get anything out of it, he told me apologetically. I didn’t understand because long ago he told me he was a bottom. I also recalled how much stimulation he got from his nipples, so I concentrated on them. He went wild.

A short time later, we laid next to each other stimulating ourselves. It didn’t take long before I finished all over his chest per his request. For once it didn’t take me forever to climax. As soon as I finished, he too exploded on his chest.

After giving him a towel and we both cleaned up, we laid next to each other in bed. I wanted to cuddle, but he didn’t seem the type to I just put my hand on his inner thigh. We chatted about the most random things. He was staring at my bookcase, and we talked about some of the books on the shelf. I pointed out my only gay book on the shelf, Beaches. It’s a picture book I like to page through periodically. He told me all the gay books on his bookshelf deal with barebacking. A huge red flag went off in my brain! Was he into barebacking? I didn’t ask him to elaborate, but I wish I did.

That’s when I hopped on his back and began to give him a massage. I have very large and very strong hands. I like to put them to good use. Apparently he was a little more delicate that I anticipated. He asked me to lighten up a bit, but he was enjoying what I was doing. I noticed how he analyzed everything. He really was a headshrinker.

When I stopped, he started inspecting my skin. I recalled on our date how he wished he was a dermatologist. He was very complimentary of my skin and complexion. I appreciated the compliment, but the delivery was incredibly awkward. He was not an easygoing guy, and I started to realize how little I was attracted to him. On top of that, I was starting to get an irritation on my neck from where he was trying to eat it. I knew then this would not be a repeat offender.

With that, he got dressed, collected his things, and we said goodbye at the door. He left very unceremoniously. I had no plans to reach out to him again after that. We’d had such a long history, making it weird, but we’d only really known each other a short while. He too had no plans to reach out to me.

Ironically enough, he messaged me on Grindr the other night, but of course this went nowhere.

Now, the only question is when and if I unfriend him on Facebook and what are the consequences?

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Juggling Act

Over the course of time, I began talking to a guy who’d been in and out of my life for almost a year. I think I started talking to him on Grindr first. We then found each other on adam4adam.com. Finally, we became Facebook friends.

You would think with all this contact, we’d be best friends or lovers by now, but that wasn’t the case. Whenever I was between guys I was dating, I would once again hit him up. He was very attractive and seemed to have a very level head on his shoulders. I really wanted to get to know him better, but I got the feeling I was going to have to pursue this one. I wasn’t going to win him over overnight.

For some reason, this time around was a little different. He was much more receptive to my advances. When the conversation would die down, I would prod him about losing interest. He would deny it and pay a lot of attention to me. He was constantly asking for me to send him pictures of myself and sending me compliments. It was nice to have a man tell me I was attractive.

We spent many evenings chatting on a4a and Facebook. I got to know a lot about his sexual side through those conversations. They would start innocently enough about our typical lives and somehow they’d always segue into our sex lives/desires. I was okay with this because I wanted a good man with a healthy sexual appetite. This was something I’d come to learn as of late. I needed to stop sacrificing good sex for a decent guy. I needed both.

I was also trying to juggle him in with the other guys on my roster. It is always such a challenge to get gay men to commit to anything. They never seem to want to be locked down to anything. I would schedule a date, and sure enough they’d always cancel or postpone. I was really getting tired of flakes running my social life. When my Friday night date cancelled, I tried to see if he was free for a drink.

I wasn’t able to meet him when he was free. He already had plans to go to Sugarland, a gay club in Brooklyn with a friend. He reported to me about his night with texts and pictures. Apparently he wasn’t having the best time and told me it was “Indian night.” Not his cup of tea. Since we couldn’t meet on Friday, we agreed to try for Saturday night.

It was going to be tough however. I was supposed to be attending my sister’s birthday gathering at a local bar. He had plans to go into the city. We agreed to try to meet up later, but who knew if that would come to fruition. He said, “I may head into the city, but we’ll both probably be out late… Let’s keep in touch and see where we are at later.” Of course, we’d never find each other that night. He still insists he sent me text messages to meet up, but I never received them.

Instead, when I got home, I texted my new “friend with benefits” to come by. I even volunteered to let him spend the night so he wouldn’t have to walk in the cold. He agreed and came by.

We had a great night together. He was really a passionate lover. It’s too bad he was so old. Instead, we’d simply just take care of each other’s physical needs.

At 6am, we woke and fooled around some more. Again, we never had sex because we are both tops, but he did mention the possibly of bottoming for me in the future.

At 8:30, he left to go home to get ready for church. I stayed in my bed and went back to sleep.

When I woke up later, I told him and my new southern friend about my upcoming work trip and how I really wanted to meet them before I went away. The southerner had to pass because he was helping move a good friend into her apartment. We agreed to grab dinner Monday, Martin Luther King Day in the evening. Hopefully this date would finally come to fruition…

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Back to Reality

Christmas day had passed. My time home was coming to an end. I was happy to be home, but I was also anxious to get back to normal life.

The morning after Christmas, my father and I decided to do a little shopping to see if we could land any special deals to kill time. I would also finally be in cell phone service, so I could text Smiles and wish him a safe flight. When I got into service, I got an influx of text and picture messages. He’d sent me quite a few, keeping me updated on what he was up to. I really was missing him and quite anxious to get back to see him. I proposed we do dinner at my apartment since he had to postpone it before the holidays. He texted back in agreement. I was finally going to get to make us the standing rib roast. I told him I missed him, and he responded, “I miss you too! 🙂 “ I could have melted into a puddle right there. This was so unlike him to express his emotions like this, but I was eating it up!

The day after Christmas is always spent with my father’s side of the family. We all gather together for a nice potluck meal that rotates from house to house year to year.  This side of the family has also shrunk significantly. My grandparents have been gone since I was quite young. My father’s brother is in rough shape these days from his battles with diabetes. His sister died a few years ago and her husband is in a nursing home. I rarely see their daughter, my cousin since she moved away and got married. That left one sister whose husband also passed away a few years ago. But as that generation was shrinking, another was growing in leaps in bounds. The living sister has 5 children, all of which are married and have become baby making machines. They now outnumber the four of us five to one.

The gathering is always a lively one with many children running about. Christmas is one of the two times I spend with this side of the family each year (the other being an annual family reunion). We also have an annual tradition of a “Yankee gift swap” or “white elephant sale” depending where you come from. The tradition has lost a lot of its allure as my cousins have adopted a new tradition of buying crap at Wal-Mart and Big Lots the day after Christmas for half price.

My sister and I had to work the Tuesday after Christmas, so around 5:00 we hopped in the car and made our way back to Hoboken. When I got back to my apartment and unloaded all my presents from home, I picked up the phone and called Smiles. Sadly, it went straight to voicemail. I was hoping to relax after a long car ride with some time talking to him, but alas, that wouldn’t be the case.

My roommate arrived home, and we swapped all our holiday stories. We plopped down on the couch and started to catch up on the programs we saved on the DVR. After some time, Smiles called. I think if you were in New Jersey when the phone rang, you may have seen a beacon of light in the sky that was my smile.

He told me about his trip home and the ordeal he went through. When he got back to the city, he’d gone out with one of his female friends for dinner. He devised a new plan to work out of her apartment going forward so he would be more productive than he was working out of his apartment. He felt if he had a place to go to every day that wasn’t in line of sight of his bed, he would get more done. I told him I thought it was a great idea. Even though they wouldn’t be coworkers, they could keep each other on task. Either that, or it would be a complete disaster, and they would be a constant distraction for each other.

I told him about my time home, my family and how the gift swap has become a sham. He laughed and told me about the rest of his time home with the family.

It wasn’t a long phone conversation, as our phone calls never are, but it certainly satisfied my hunger for Smiles. It would satiate me until I got to see him the following night when he came over for dinner.

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Postponed Plans

On Thursday afternoon, I made plans with Smiles to go out with him Friday night. We planned to grab dinner and then go out the bars for a night on the town finally. However, that plan would have to be postponed.

Thursday night, he sent me a text explaining he forgot he had dinner plans in Brooklyn and then a birthday gathering in the West Village. He quasi invited me, but added, “That’s probably not exactly what you meant when you said night out on the town,” he added.

I suggested we simply postpone our plans one night. It was still relatively early in our relationship, so some space can sometimes help. I didn’t want him to get tired of me. I would use the time to go out with my friends since I was spending many of my weekends with Smiles or traveling.

Friday, I went out in Hoboken with my friends. He texted me to tell me he got a new phone. I was thrilled to know he was thinking of me even though I wasn’t with him (Or, at least that is what was going through my head as I read it).

Saturday morning, I woke and was feeling very productive. For quite some time, I wanted to trek down to the Financial District to check out the Occupy Wall Street movement in Zuccotti Park. I wanted to take the nice camera from work with me to snap some cool shots of the protestors. I didn’t want to do this alone. It was something Smiles and I discussed many times. I tried texting him and then eventually called him to see if he would join me. He was doing work, so he wouldn’t be able to join me until later in the day.

Since I knew he was by his phone now, I sent him a sexy picture of myself from the summer with the caption, “Wanted you to have a sexy picture for your new phone.” He responded, “Haha. Love it!”

I tried a few of my other friends to see if they’d tag along, including LES. After much convincing, I was able to get him to join me, but under one condition. I had to come by his place to smoke first. I agreed and also proposed we use up my Groupon that was expiring that day.

When I finally got to LES’s place, we smoked and got on our way downtown in a cab. The sun was setting quickly, so I proposed we just grab something quick for lunch instead of using the Groupon.

We got downtown to the Occupy movement, and we began exploring. I took many pictures and was even approached by an editor from The Suit Magazine asking me to send her some of my shots. She was looking for pictures to use in an article.

After we had our fill of protestors, we made our way to Wall Street. While walking, LES said to me, “So what’s the deal with this other guy? How old is he? What does he do?” I knew exactly what that question was. I interpreted it to mean, “What does this guy have that I don’t? What makes him so special.” It was an awkward moment, but it was bound to come up at some point. I really liked Smiles, but I also really enjoyed LES’s friendship. I didn’t want to create too many waves or hurt anyone’s feelings. When we got to Wall Street, we found they were filming Batman, and we wanted to check it out. By the time we got there, they were cleaning up the “set.”

As I was walking LES home, Smiles called. He finished work and was ready for dinner. I wanted to go home, shower, change and drop off the camera before we went out. I told him I would meet him for dinner later, and we made plans. I felt very guilty having that phone call with LES walking next to me.

After I cleaned up and changed, I met Smiles in Chelsea for dinner. We had no location picked out, and ended settling on Elmo for dinner. Conversation during dinner was great. He had a very productive work day, and I feel he let me in even more. He was opening up more and more every time I saw him. We were finally peeling back the layers of that onion.

After dinner, he proposed we go over to Barracuda. I’d never been and have always been leery of it. I’m not a fan of gay bars. They make me uncomfortable.

When we arrived, I learned he knew two of the bartenders. I had met them before as well. They were both very good-looking and pretty unforgettable. They were at Smiles’ birthday gathering. Barracuda wasn’t anything like what I expected. I was expecting a flashy club like seen, not a dive bar. I immediately felt more comfortable.

That is until a tall overly friendly black man came up behind me and started feeling up my chest with his arms around me. He was a feisty one, and I wasn’t interested. I made that pretty clear by my extremely uncomfortable facial expression. Smiles on the other hand was playing ball. I assumed it was a friend of his, until I learned he never met the guy before. This was just Smiles being his charming self.

Because I wasn’t completely comfortable, I drank a little more excessively than I should have. On top of that, Smiles’ ex arrived. I had no problem meeting him and talking to him, but I did have a problem when Smiles said to me, “I hope you don’t mind, but I’m going to steal away with [him] for a minute. I haven’t seen him in a while, and I need to chat about some things.” Based on the interaction, I wasn’t worried that he was going to do something with his ex. I was more annoyed I was being ignored in a place I’d never been before where I wasn’t completely comfortable and knew no one else.

I entertained myself by watching the bartenders cutting off the tall black man because he was being obnoxious to everyone at the bar. However, for me, the drinking continued — In excess! I drank so much, the bartender started giving me free drinks. I drank my face off. I was hurt and p*ssed. This little chat went on for a long time. There was some flirting and maybe Smiles wasn’t 100% over him, but I was okay with that. It’s natural. I wasn’t okay with being ignored! When the conversation ended, Smiles said to me, “How come you’re so quiet?” What the hell was I supposed to say to that? — “I’m quiet because you just ignored me for the past half hour?”

Next thing I know, when I woke up in his bed, the first thing I noticed was I was naked. I never sleep naked. The second thing I noticed was some lube on my backside. I couldn’t for the life of me remember anything about the night before. I don’t remember much after that. I don’t remember getting my coat from coat check. I don’t know how we got back to his apartment. I don’t remember climbing into bed.

I racked my brain to remember anything from the night before. The only thing I could conjure up was a flash of about ten seconds of sex with him on top of me. It was a very scary feeling! I’d blacked out before, but never have I blacked out sex. I was the only one ordering my drinks all night, but I couldn’t 100% rule out the possibility someone roofied one of my drinks.

I never mentioned to Smiles my panicky thoughts. There is no chance in hell Smiles would have done that to me, so I wasn’t worried in that respect. I knew he would never take advantage of me. I was probably pretty lucid in my drunken state, if previous history has anything to say. I was worried I may have done something to embarrass myself. I decided to play it cool and pay close attention to how the rest of the morning progressed…

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