Posts Tagged college
I have always been a fan of underwear. Before I came out, I used to sneak away from my parents when we were at the store, and I found myself gravitating to the underwear aisle. Sure, part of it was so I could scope out the scantily clad men, but another part of it was the underwear.
I probably go through a lot more underwear than the average Joe. This isn’t because I destroy my underwear through accident or lack of care. Quite the contrary. I don’t ever want to be caught in a situation where my underwear creates or adds to any embarrassment. When I no longer feel a pair of underwear are sexy, it goes in the trash.
I’ve stated my underwear preference many times in my blog. I’ve never been a big fan of straight up boxers. I find things end up sticking to other things, and it’s quite uncomfortable. I grew up wearing briefs the majority of my childhood, but when I got to high school, I discovered trunks — Not quite a brief, but it not quite a pair of boxers. It was the perfect compromise, however, as I grew older, it wasn’t the best fit. I found it would ride up my thigh and bunch around my hips, making me look like I was wearing a diaper. There’s nothing sexy about that!
I’d moved on to boxer-briefs. They would become my staple throughout college and beyond. I wore them every day for years. That is, until I came out. I realized I needed to buy a few pairs of truly sexy underwear. Underwear my boyfriend would salivate over the rip off my body and fling across the room as he flung me onto the mattress. I rediscovered briefs. My boyfriend wore briefs, and I found it hard to resist him in them. They accentuated all the right parts. I wanted that for myself.
I’d come full circle. These certainly were not the Superman, Batman and Mickey Mouse briefs I worse as a child. No, these were a whole new class.
As far as brands go, aussieBum has been one of my all-time favorites. I discovered them right around my gay coming of age. I noticed them showing up more and more in the porn I was watching, and everyone looked incredibly sexy in them. I had to have them for myself. I bought all different cuts, colors and fabrics. Every pair was better than the last. They fit me perfectly and brought my sexual energy up to a new level. I was in love with my aussieBums. They added a strut to my step. I always felt like a million bucks in my aussieBums.
Today’s post is very different. For all my email subscribers who don’t load the pictures at the office, you’ll want to revisit the blog when you get home tonight…
Since I started OGAAT, I’ve touted a few of my favorite products (Yes, I’m taking a page from Oprah’s book). I hit up aussieBum and asked if they would send me some product; In return, I promised them I would share my thoughts with my readers. Normally, I hide from the spotlight. I’m a people watcher who doesn’t like when the attention is turns to me.
Since aussieBum was so generous, I needed to step it up. Considering the bag the underwear and bathing suits came in stated, “If you doubt yourself, wear something else,” I didn’t really have a choice. I, with the help of my boyfriend behind the camera, am bringing to you my amateur aussieBum photo-spread. I will tell you, this photo-shoot taught me two things: I am not a model, and I’m much better on the other side of the camera. Please don’t judge too harshly. Without further ado, here it goes…
Warning: The following may be too graphic for some (hehe). I started my shoot with the Classic Undies. While forest green may not have been my first choice, I found them both sexy and adorable. Who doesn’t love a classic? These are the perfect go-to for everyday wear. Given my choice, I’d have gone for the flashier candy-colored briefs. I found the waistband very comfortable, and they hugged my package quite nicely. After watching my boyfriend try them on, it was all I could do to keep my hands off his behind.
Next up was the WJRAW red briefs (By the way, be sure to check out the video on the site for these). The pouch inside lifted my goods away from your body providing two distinct benefits — Keeping my boys cooler, and of course, made my junk look huge (Not that it was all that small to begin with). When CK turned the camera around to show me the picture, I was in disbelief I was looking at a picture of myself. These briefs will make anyone look like an underwear model, while providing excellent frontal support.
Third, was the White Man Brief. I have to say, at first glance, I wrote them off. I thought they were your standard pair of tighty-whiteys with a soft waistband. Boy, was I wrong. These were incredible. For starters, the soft fabric was heavenly against my skin. This was the most comfortable underwear Joey and John from aussieBum sent me, gently hugging me in all the right places. They were so comfortable, it was almost as if I wasn’t wearing any underwear at all. The material is very light and almost sheer, so if you are a slightly self-conscious, I recommend purchasing a color other than white.
Next up, swimwear. When I opened the bag, I was shocked they even included bathing suits. I started with the Varsity blue square-cuts (check out the video on this one — It is hot!). I was perplexed by the drawstring at first, but at second glance, I realize how brilliant it is. I thought about all the other square-cuts I’d worn and how much of a pain the drawstring was. This eliminated it by tucking it inside. I proudly donned my aussieBum varsity letter out on my balcony for some grilling in the sun. I felt incredibly masculine, confident and sexy. The Italian Lycra was perfectly cut to hug my curves in the most flattering way.
The suit even managed to give my butt a gentle lift to give me a little more than God did. The simple pinstripes make this suit appropriate for almost any occasion. This trunk is an essential for every man.
Finally, the coup de grâce. I immediately gravitated to the Sidelined Optima square-cuts. The giant aussieBum logo plastered across the backside called to me. I saved the best for last, and I was wearing my aussieBum stripes with pride.
Of all the photos we took, I felt the most comfortable in this one. From the moment I pulled them on, I felt I’d been given a license to be sexy. The fact that the suit’s drawstring ties on the hip was a big sell to me. It completely changed the aesthetic of the suit. This suit is the embodiment of summer.
I can honestly say there isn’t one aussieBum product I was sent I don’t fully endorse. Whether on my body or my man’s, they looked sexy as hell. I recommend you visit aussieBum.com and check out their entire line of products. Trust me, you won’t regret it. They may just change how you feel about yourself.
Saturday, I felt like there wasn’t a moment to relax. Whenever my parents come into town, it’s stressful. I am navigator, concierge, tour guide, etc. I love them, but I never really get to enjoy it. I’m always “on.”
When the show ended, my parents and I made our way home to Hoboken on the bus after stopping at Crabtree and Evelyn so my mother could buy some product.
CK and I texted periodically throughout the day. He went back out to Brooklyn to his friend’s apartment for dinner. They were joined by the couple we’d gone on the Avengers double date with. He seemed to be enjoying a nice relaxing day with the boys.
Finally, they were gone. I could relax and go nuts. The last thing I wanted to worry about was what to make for dinner. My sister texted asking what I was doing, and I had the idea to order sushi. She was game, so she called in the order and came to my apartment to eat and pregame.
I began to text friends to round up a crew to hit up the bar. I realized it’d been some time since I had a wild night out. I wanted to get drunk! Sadly, the crew would be very small. People were either out of town or had other plans. I was only able to get my sister and P to go out.
CK was texting me. He told me about his day. He told me he mentioned our new status as an official couple to the guys. I learned one of his friends said we looked very happy together, and the other pointed out I was about to have my hands full. “That boy has no idea what he’s in for,” he said. He came back from Brooklyn, and I could tell he wanted to hang out. He kept hinting, but I wanted a night with friends. I needed a drunk night, and I didn’t think he’d be up for that. I also didn’t want him to get tired of me. We already had plans for the following day. I pretended not to notice his hints and explained my plans for the evening. I told him I’d hit him up when I came home if he was still up and said goodnight. I also reiterated to him how happy he made me.
After we finished our sushi, P joined us. We did some shots and drank some more before heading to my local haunt, McSwiggans. The manager was standing outside, so we said hi, and he escorted us past the line right in the door.
It was exceptionally crowded, being Cinqo de Mayo. I barely made it to the bar to say hi to one of my favorite bartenders. She asked where’d I’d been, and I told her she needs to start working Thursday nights if she wanted to see me more often.
We tried to stake claim to a spot on the “dance floor” but were constantly shuffled and pushed aside as others maneuvered the bar. It wasn’t long before a teammate of mine from college recognized me. When I saw him, I cut through the crowd to say hi and exchange a manly bear hug. It’d been a long time since I’d seen him. He was in Hoboken visiting friends. He pointed out the few others around the bar I knew from college, and I said hi to all.
Overall, the night was alright. I didn’t stay out too late. I was home by 1:30am. It’d been weeks since I went wild on the weekend. I needed that. I only hoped it would have been a bit bigger and involved more friends. I realized CK and I needed to find some time to get drunk and go dancing together. We were long overdue.
The next day, he’d be coming over for our local festival and staying for dinner. I was most excited he’d be spending the night as well.
When I got home, I texted him to see if he was still awake. I got no response. I decided to call anyway, but I got no answer. I was missing him and wanted to talk to him. That, however, was not possible. With that, I climbed into bed disappointed and realized how empty my bed felt without him…Follow @onegayatatime
Today is another Fast Forward Friday!!!
Hope you are enjoying these. It will help bring the blog a little closer to real-time. If you’re keeping up with the stories chronologically, please skip down to this morning’s post first, then read this one. I think it’s a good one! Enjoy!
Back to your special edition of One Gay At A Time…
Saturday morning, I said goodbye to Clark Kent when I dropped him off in the city. I wanted to spend every waking minute with him, but things were still fresh and young for us. It’d only been a week. I needed to stop my habit of diving in head first, or I could be in for a world of hurt. Saturday night, I made plans with friends to go out. One of the guys I swam with in college asked me to come by to pregame and then go to the bar with him and some other friends. It’d been months since a request like that came in, so I was ready and raring to go. By the time I got ready to go out after running all my errands, they moved things to the bar. I met the group at Black Bear in Hoboken. These friends are serious triathletes, so they never go out, and when they do, they go to bed early. I also encouraged my other friend P to join us.
When I got to the bar, I sent CK a text to see what he was up to. He responded by telling me to come into the city and spend the night with him. Had he texted me a half hour earlier, I probably would have never entered the bar and would have gone straight into the city. I stepped outside to call him and explain. I really wanted to go see him since I couldn’t get enough of him, but P had just arrived. I didn’t want to ditch her. He fully understood. A small part of me wanted to ensure he wouldn’t get tired of me, so I thought some time apart would do us good.
I went back to the bar and had a good time with my friends. In true fashion, a half hour later, all but P made their way home to go to bed. It wasn’t even midnight yet. I told her all about CK and how amazing he was. I also told her about how I’d ended things with all the other guys. She kept asking things like, “Well, what about [X]? I thought you had a good date?” I explained to her that none of these guys were like my Superman. They didn’t measure up at all. She was impressed with my conviction and wished me luck, but she warned me not to get too far ahead of myself. P and I decided to go to another bar we enjoyed far more, Cooper’s Union, where we sit and chat while our favorite Hoboken bartender serves us.
Just as we were about to leave the bar, it started pouring. We agreed to call it a night instead. She hopped in a cab, and I made my way down the street home. I didn’t get far before I decided to run. I ripped off my soaking wet shirt and ran on my Cole Haans the dozen blocks home. When I got home, I texted CK to tell him about my “TV commercial-like sprint in the rain home.” (The Nike technology in Cole Haans really is amazing btw!). He responded back telling me how much he wished he’d seen me. He told me he was turned on by the mental picture. I achieved my goal. I knew exactly what I was doing when I sent that text to him. I wanted him to want me.
Sunday, I talked to CK, and we made plans for me to spend the night in the city. It made sense since he was so close to my office. I could bring clothes for work the next day and head straight there in the morning.
As the day progressed, the weather deteriorated. It was pouring. I made my way to his place around dinnertime soaked to the bone. I had my giant umbrella with me, but water-soaked my pants from the ground up. He stripped me of most of my clothes when I arrived, and we began fooling around immediately. This, of course, led to sex and some hot, sweaty fun.
I was happy to be spending a rainy night in with him. We had no plans and no obligations. We were simply going to cuddle in his apartment and watch something on his iPad. He offered to make me dinner, and I accepted. He told me his cooking abilities were limited, but he would whip up his specialty for me. I heard a lot going on in the kitchen while I sat in his living room. He wouldn’t let me help. He wanted to surprise me. When I came into the kitchen to give him a hug and kiss, I got my kiss but was ordered back to the couch.
Moments later, he brought me a plate full of salad with chunks of chicken and a tasty dressing. It was very good, and I enjoyed it thoroughly. That night, I would also learn of CK’s sweet tooth. We weren’t even done our salads before he was talking about dessert. He didn’t have anything in the apartment, but there was a bodega on the block. We would venture out into the rain to satisfy a craving for sweets. He offered for me to stay in the apartment and stay dry, but I insisted on coming with him.
We picked up Oreos, ice cream and some cheddar bread sticks and made our way back out into the rain. I was tempted the whole walk back to ask him to hold the umbrella while I ripped my shirt off and ran back to his apartment in the rain. The only thing that stopped me was that I’d have to stand in front of his doorman with no shirt on until he caught up, and I thought it might embarrass him. I chickened out! I was so disappointed in myself. I wanted to show him I didn’t take myself too seriously.
When we got back to his apartment, we dove into the ice cream and Oreos. He made each of us a bowl, and we cracked open the bread sticks. We sat in bed, and when we finished, we cuddled in front of his iPad watching Smash. Shortly thereafter, I dozed off in his arms. It was a perfect rainy night, and I truly looked forward to many others with him while I dreamed the night away.
The next morning, we fooled around before getting ready. While I showered, he made me a bowl of yogurt, fresh berries, honey and granola. It was delicious. He was really taking care of me.
Every moment made me fall for him more and more. We walked to my office together before he hopped on the subway, and I made my way inside. I was head over heels, and things were just starting. The possibilities were endless, and I planned to explore them all…Follow @onegayatatime
Today is another Fast Forward Friday!!!
Hope you are enjoying these. It will help bring the blog a little closer to real-time. If you’re keeping up with the stories chronologically, please skip down to this morning’s post first, then read this one. I think it’s a good one! Enjoy!
Never before have I prefaced an entry by giving away some of the details of what’s to follow, however, I’ve received numerous comments from readers tired of reading my “sex journal.”
“Your blog used to be interesting when it was about your relationship with your ex bfs, but it turned me off when it became a sex journal,” wrote one reader.
We’re both on the same page here. I dislike writing about these trysts as much as you dislike reading about them. It’s bad enough I’ve lived them once, let alone having to live them all over again when I write them.
So, without further ado, I am pleased to present you a love story…
On a Wednesday morning in April, while on my way to work, I happened to poke around on Grindr a bit. There was a message from an interesting guy on there. We began to chat a bit while I walked. He seemed pretty cool. I was about to head underground, so I quickly asked him for his phone number so we could continue the conversation on the other side.
We chatted a bit over text, and I came to learn a few things about him. I explained to him I wasn’t looking for sex, so if this was his motive, he should move on now. I was there purely for dates and friends. He seemed okay with that sentiment, and the conversation continued for a bit. I tried to check his spontaneity and asked if he would be interested in drinks that evening. He couldn’t because he had to work late. That’s when I learned he worked in advertising. I explained to him, if anyone understood working late for a pitch, it was I. I explained I too worked in advertising. When he told me he worked downtown, I started guessing what agency. Ironically enough, he worked for my previous agency. He worked closely with one of my favorite ex-coworkers. We were really hitting it off and I was excited to meet him. We agreed to make plans in the near future.
Wednesday evening, I was on my way home from a mediocre date. I fired up Grindr on the bus ride home and noticed he was on. I messaged him to say hi. He and asked what I was up to. When I told him I was on my way home from work, he responded, “You’re kidding me! Let’s f*ck.” My heart sank immediately. I had such high hopes for him. I was crushed. “You don’t know who you’re talking to do you? This is [O.G.A.A.T.],” I shot back. He admitted to confusing me with someone else and began damage control. I think he immediately realized he lost any shot of anything with me, however, he still took the time to apologize profusely.
If you know me at all, you know I give second chances out fairly often. I decided to lay on the guilt a little bit, but also give him the opportunity to redeem himself. As I got off the bus, I picked up the phone and called him. His timing caught me at a vulnerable moment. I was turning my dating life around. I told him what he did wasn’t cool. Again he apologized. I told him I would turn a blind eye this once for one reason; a few days prior, I probably would have said the same thing on Grindr. I couldn’t hold it against him when I too had treated Grindr in this way. He fully comprehended what I was saying and promised not to let me down.
The following day, I asked him if he would be interested in drinks Friday for happy hour. He immediately agreed that would be a great idea. When Friday arrived, we made more definitive plans. Since I was done work before he was, I offered to come down to his neighborhood. I just told him to text me when I should start walking down there, and he did. I texted him when I got the bar, but he was still working. I told him I’d hang out by the bar for a bit. I walked a block to Starbucks, got a coffee and wrote a blog post. I needed a kick in the a$$, considering it was a Friday night after a long week. When nearly an hour passed, my patience was at its end. This guy was not winning me over by any means. I was a block away from the PATH and very tempted to just leave. Just as I was closing my laptop, I got a text from him. He was on his way.
We met on the street in front of Employees Only. He’d never been before, so I led us inside to order a round of drinks and find a wall to lean against. He apologized for taking so long and explained what was going through his head. He was working on something late and told the editor they’d need to pick it up again on Monday. He’d already used up one of his chances with me. If he messed this one up, there’d be no redemption. I thought it was cute, and I loved his honesty. We talked about our jobs and our shared favorite coworker. I told him about my coworkers and how we’d be excellent fodder for a reality show. (I really work with a circus of a crew, but I love them!)
We were really hitting it off. Everything just felt so easy. He was also incredibly easy on the eyes. I felt I was a bit out of my league here. He was five years my senior, gorgeous, smart, witty, well spoken, had a solid job, etc. Basically, he was the full package. I already knew he had a healthy libido as well, so we’d probably be fine there.
After two rounds of drinks, he took the opportunity to kiss me. I can’t tell you how much I loved that kiss. He was a real man, and he kissed me. I was crazy swooning. We decided to make moves. In our conversation, I was talking about what I do in my free time and mentioned the pier I lounge on directly across from the Christopher Street pier. He suggested we take a walk out there before grabbing a bite to eat somewhere.
We walked holding hands to the end of the pier. He took my bag, set it on the ground with his own, and we walked to the railing. He stood facing the water and pulled me in, wrapping my arms around him. It was incredibly romantic. While we talked, I nuzzled his neck. Things were so easy with him. There was no drama. There were no games. There was just us. I couldn’t believe an hour earlier I was ready to abandon our date and go home.
He turned around and hiked himself up so he was sitting on the railing dangling over the river. I was between his legs with my arms wrapped around him while we chatted. I decided to tell him how new to the game I was and tell him my coming out story. I figured I might as well get that out of the way, because if it was going to scare him off, I figured it was better sooner rather than later since I’d already grown so attached to him. He was totally cool about it. This is also when I learned our age difference of five years. Obviously I was fine with that considering Smiles was nine years my senior. He was cool with that as well.
As we walked to find dinner, he told me about his coming out story. It was interesting and not all that different from mine. I learned he was bisexual through college, which actually was reassuring to me. I liked men that had experience with women as well. It wasn’t a necessary skill I needed to see them utilize. I just liked knowing they’d experienced women as well and realized they were more attracted to men. It also generally proved to produce more masculine men, which I’m far more attracted to. I also learned in that conversation he was a cancer survivor. I didn’t know how this guy could get any better. He was like Superman.
The date was off to an amazing start. We were walking hand-in-hand to find dinner somewhere, and I didn’t want the date to end. I was on cloud nine. I think I floated the whole way. We finally arrived at a spot I was quite familiar with, Frankies 570. So familiar, in fact, I’d been there a few days prior. The date was just beginning. I couldn’t wait for the next course…Follow @onegayatatime
After my lukewarm date with the doctor, I was ready to get back out there in search for a man.
I’m happy to report, which I’m sure some of you may have suspected otherwise, I was doing a great job of staying off Grindr. Granted, it was a short period of time, but I was thoroughly proud of myself. I felt like I’d joined GA. Every day not having meaningless sex was another day of Grindr sobriety.
Tuesday after work, I arranged another date with Southern Drawl. The last date was a bit crazy. Footsie under the table. Shenanigans in the bathroom. I was curious if he’d be able to behave this time or would he be looking for another quick trip to the bathroom.
We texted during the day to lock things down. I proposed The Breslin. I’d always loved their food, their drinks and their ambiance. He shot the idea down because he said the place was always full of hipsters. I had always been a fan of Sala 19 in the Flatiron District, so I proposed we go there for dinner. It worked out well because it was halfway between our offices. He agreed.
I had to wait at work for him to finish. When he did, I made my way south to meet him. I met him on the street corner, and we walked to the restaurant.
Dinner was very nice. He was well-behaved, and the conversation was good. I told him about my allergist appointment, and he told me about his day. We talked frankly about our last date. We discussed what went on. I learned he’d never done anything like that before. I was also learning about the guys he’d dated since living in New York City. When we originally spoke on the phone, I was under the impression he was new to the gay world. I thought he’d never really dated anyone before. Now, I was learning about all the guys he dated in NYC, as well as the guy he dated through college that he said I so strongly reminded him of and resembled. It was a bit unsettling.
In the middle of dinner, he told me he’d ended things with the guy he was seeing. He explained they’d only been seeing each other for two weeks, and things were never that strong. When I probed him to ask if he left the other guy because he met me or if he did it because he wasn’t satisfied with the previous guy, he told me it was the latter, but part of it was also due to meeting me. A big red flag went off in my head. Would he leave me for a better model?
I still wasn’t sure about him. I liked talking to him. I liked being with him. He was smart. He was nice. He wasn’t flamboyant, however, I wondered if maybe he was too “straight.” He was a bit homophobic. I’m not the most open about my sexuality. I’m not out to everyone at work. I don’t openly advertise my sexuality. However, if he wasn’t comfortable with himself, how could we be comfortable with each other. I couldn’t be sure about him. Was he right for me? I had no idea. Only more time could tell. I was keeping a distance as we moved forward. We had a connection, but was it strong enough to last? Was it what I wanted?
In our conversations, his southern entitlement shined through. It was an incredible turnoff. Where was the southern charm I’d seen so many times in movies. When I think of the ideal man, I think of Matthew McConaughey. He definitely has an ego and self-confidence, but he also exudes charm and sexuality. His confidence is not in your face, and he seems down-to-earth. Southern Drawl fit the other Hollywood archetype — The Southern plantation owner. He had an air or superiority that was hard to swallow. Many times, he laughed off these comments, making them seem like a joke, but I wondered if there was really something deep down that was more genuine. I wasn’t ready to date a snob. That $hit wouldn’t fly with me. I wasn’t going to let him get away with it, and I’d already started calling him on it.
When we finished eating, we split the bill and walked north to the PATH station. I said goodbye to him ont he street with barely a hug. He was uncomfortable exchanging a kiss with me in front of a city of strangers. I wasn’t thrilled by that.
On my ride home, I questioned why I was continuing to see Southern Drawl. He was definitely interested in me, and I was still intrigued by him. I wasn’t ready to write him off just yet, but I didn’t see a lot of promise or potential. I would continue to see other men and continue to see him until I was ready to make a definitive decision.Follow @onegayatatime
This is my 300th post! You guys have been amazing! Here’s to many more to come!
I was particularly excited about my staycation because I was going to get to see Boston again. We made very tentative plans for him to come down for at least part of the week because he was on spring break from school.
As we got closer to the visit, Boston went dark on me. It was pretty standard for him to not return my calls. The only time I ever got to chat with him live was when I called on a Friday night when he was pregaming before hitting the scene. I understood he was very busy. It was his final year in school, and he had a lot going on. On top of classes, he was searching for an internship. He was even looking at a few places in New York City. I was very excited at the prospect of him being nearby, but I wasn’t getting ahead of myself.
I was more than annoyed this time because I was expecting him to visit or to have me swing up to Boston. I had to use the time off. I thought it would be a good time to try to see him. I’m sure he is reading this right now ready to kill me. He probably thinks this is a bit of a guilt trip, and it is. But, it is also part of the bigger picture for my week off. I made no plans because I thought I had some plans. Granted, even if I didn’t have those plans with Boston, I probably would have been doing the same thing — Lounging on the pier, going to the gym and having sex.
In early March, I tried to see if he was still coming to visit. “Gaah. Haven’t even thought about it yet. I’ve been drowning in work. I’ll know by next Wednesday though. That’s when midterms are over.” After that, complete darkness. I didn’t hear from him for a few weeks. I angrily texted him from the pier one day, “You could just text me back you don’t want to/can’t come…” After my vacation had come and gone, he finally texted me back: “Just got my phone back today. Lost it over St. Patty’s Day weekend. Will call you later tonight. You gonna be around?” Of course I would never receive that phone call. I did understand though. He was in college. I tried to put myself in his shoes, and I realized I wouldn’t have come down to visit either, however, I would have told him I wasn’t coming.
After time passed, I playfully texted, “As much as you suck for bailing on me, ‘A$$ Grab’ is not gay. He just showed up to the bar with a girl.” Surprisingly, he quickly responded, “Means nothing. And I didn’t bail on you!” I wasn’t going to let him get away with that. “Um. Yes you did. Just sayin’,” I added. He was quick to note, “We never had plans and this break hasn’t been conducive to going to NYC and back.” I pointed out our tentative plans and his lack of communication in his inability to come. I also pointed out that even though he lost his phone, there are other ways to reach out to me. I also expressed my disappointment in not getting to see him. It was something I was really looking forward to. He responded back saying, “Alright. I’m sorry. Been in Vermont all weekend and all break I’ve just been busy working, so I’ve been flustered a bit.”
Again, I understood, and I fully forgave him. I wasn’t going to hold a grudge for that. Time off when you’re as busy as he is can be precious time. I kept myself busy taking admiring guys on the pier in the sun in Hoboken as you see in this post.
I depend on him more than I should. The problem is I don’t have any gay friends. When I have something I want to share, I feel like I’m putting some of my friends out by talking to them about it. They just can’t relate, and I’m sure they’re tired of hearing it from me. I turn to him because I know he’ll give me sound advice, but also because I have no one else. This post may come across like I’m bitter, but that’s not the case. I truly appreciate Boston and everything he’s done for me. He’s a good guy.
We still good friends, and he still ignores my phone calls. But, I’m sure all that will change when he’s finally graduated and eventually moves down to New York. Or at least I can hope, right?Follow @onegayatatime
My Friday off was certainly an eventful one. I spent the better portion of the afternoon planning and participating in my first real threesome. I was already starting to judge myself and question all my recent behavior. A large part of me knew this was not who I was. I was completely acting out, but another part of me realized these were my gay “formidable years.” I never hooked up with guys in college while all my male friends were taking girls home from the bar. This was my wild time. Basically, I was giving myself license to have emotionless sex for sport.
That being said, I was still searching for the guy who would get me off Grindr and be the reason to settle down. I’d already gone on one good date with Chelsea. He asked what my plans were for the evening. I told him I had none since I had the day off, and he asked if we could do something together. I didn’t feel like doing anything crazy or going out, so I requested a lazy night in and suggested he come to my place. “Cuddle night?” he replied. “Definitely,” I said.
I still felt a little disgusted with myself for my afternoon behavior, but I also hoped maybe he could help distract me. He would certainly be something to get my mind off it. I took all my sheets off my bed and threw them in the washing machine. I hopped in the shower once again. I needed a cleanse.
I texted him back and told him I would make us dinner, and we could watch a movie. He agreed that sounded like a great idea, but he told me he’d already eaten. I made myself something quick before he came over.
“Do I have to come back to NYC late by myself?” he added. I told him he could certainly spend the night. In fact, I would very much enjoy that. He tried to convince me to come into the city, but I wasn’t about to budge. I’d already done one date in his neighborhood. I didn’t want to go into the city that evening since I wasn’t already there for work. He painted a better picture of what I was asking him to do: “Mind you, I don’t even go see my friends in Brooklyn. So this better be scoring me some hefty points! Haha! LMAO. You can ask my friends how much of a NYC snob I am. I’m like who? What? Why? Do I need a passport? And does Jet Blue fly there?” I quickly responded, “This isn’t my first rodeo. You’re not the first guy I’ve stolen out of the city.” Every guy I’ve convinced to come over to Hoboken has fallen in love with it and become an advocate. I am slowly introducing the NYC gay community to the great city of Hoboken one gay at a time :).
He agreed to stay over, as long as we agreed to behave. I told him I had no problem with that, and I appreciated him wanting to take things slow. I was very surprised by this, considering we met on Grindr, and I learned he’d done the hookup thing more than a handful of times.
When he arrived, I got him some comfortable clothes to wear, and we settled in on the couch with a few refreshments. We went through the guide trying to find a movie to watch. Finally, we settled on Drive, with Ryan Gosling. We laid on the couch with him in my arms the entire film. It was nice to snuggle with a man. It was very romantic. We both thoroughly enjoyed the movie, and when it was over, it was decently late. We decided to head to bed.
I found it adorable he didn’t take his shorts and shirt off when we went to bed. I don’t exactly sleep naked, but I have a hard time sleeping with clothes on. I find them restricting. I stripped down to my boxer briefs and encouraged (playfully removed the shorts I lent him) him to get comfortable before spooning with him a little. He warned me about getting too fresh, but I told him to relax. “I’m just trying to cuddle, not rape you. Stop fussing,” I jokingly stated. He did relax, and we got into a comfortable spooning position before finally dozing off for the night.
That night, neither of us slept very well. He was a thrasher and constantly woke up. I didn’t mind too much because I didn’t have anything to do the next day but lounge around. It was nice change to be sharing my bed with such a sweet guy. This had potential, and we certainly weren’t rushing things…Follow @onegayatatime