Posts Tagged sun
This is my 300th post! You guys have been amazing! Here’s to many more to come!
I was particularly excited about my staycation because I was going to get to see Boston again. We made very tentative plans for him to come down for at least part of the week because he was on spring break from school.
As we got closer to the visit, Boston went dark on me. It was pretty standard for him to not return my calls. The only time I ever got to chat with him live was when I called on a Friday night when he was pregaming before hitting the scene. I understood he was very busy. It was his final year in school, and he had a lot going on. On top of classes, he was searching for an internship. He was even looking at a few places in New York City. I was very excited at the prospect of him being nearby, but I wasn’t getting ahead of myself.
I was more than annoyed this time because I was expecting him to visit or to have me swing up to Boston. I had to use the time off. I thought it would be a good time to try to see him. I’m sure he is reading this right now ready to kill me. He probably thinks this is a bit of a guilt trip, and it is. But, it is also part of the bigger picture for my week off. I made no plans because I thought I had some plans. Granted, even if I didn’t have those plans with Boston, I probably would have been doing the same thing — Lounging on the pier, going to the gym and having sex.
In early March, I tried to see if he was still coming to visit. “Gaah. Haven’t even thought about it yet. I’ve been drowning in work. I’ll know by next Wednesday though. That’s when midterms are over.” After that, complete darkness. I didn’t hear from him for a few weeks. I angrily texted him from the pier one day, “You could just text me back you don’t want to/can’t come…” After my vacation had come and gone, he finally texted me back: “Just got my phone back today. Lost it over St. Patty’s Day weekend. Will call you later tonight. You gonna be around?” Of course I would never receive that phone call. I did understand though. He was in college. I tried to put myself in his shoes, and I realized I wouldn’t have come down to visit either, however, I would have told him I wasn’t coming.
After time passed, I playfully texted, “As much as you suck for bailing on me, ‘A$$ Grab’ is not gay. He just showed up to the bar with a girl.” Surprisingly, he quickly responded, “Means nothing. And I didn’t bail on you!” I wasn’t going to let him get away with that. “Um. Yes you did. Just sayin’,” I added. He was quick to note, “We never had plans and this break hasn’t been conducive to going to NYC and back.” I pointed out our tentative plans and his lack of communication in his inability to come. I also pointed out that even though he lost his phone, there are other ways to reach out to me. I also expressed my disappointment in not getting to see him. It was something I was really looking forward to. He responded back saying, “Alright. I’m sorry. Been in Vermont all weekend and all break I’ve just been busy working, so I’ve been flustered a bit.”
Again, I understood, and I fully forgave him. I wasn’t going to hold a grudge for that. Time off when you’re as busy as he is can be precious time. I kept myself busy taking admiring guys on the pier in the sun in Hoboken as you see in this post.
I depend on him more than I should. The problem is I don’t have any gay friends. When I have something I want to share, I feel like I’m putting some of my friends out by talking to them about it. They just can’t relate, and I’m sure they’re tired of hearing it from me. I turn to him because I know he’ll give me sound advice, but also because I have no one else. This post may come across like I’m bitter, but that’s not the case. I truly appreciate Boston and everything he’s done for me. He’s a good guy.
We still good friends, and he still ignores my phone calls. But, I’m sure all that will change when he’s finally graduated and eventually moves down to New York. Or at least I can hope, right?Follow @onegayatatime
Following the iPhone debacle of 2011, I couldn’t manage to contact N. I couldn’t exactly walk across the street and buzz at his door either, since his roommates had no idea who I was. But I was a little worried. He was drunk the night before and didn’t come over for his pizza – very unlike him to leave food, but very like him to just pass out somewhere.
I had an epiphany. I hit him up on Facebook. I figured he’d check it at some point since he didn’t have his phone. Midday, he messaged me back and gave me his roommates phone number. He also told me he wouldn’t be around for the day because he was going home for father’s day. I texted him on her phone, and he answered back. He said he was still in Hoboken because he was calling around to cab companies to try to find his phone. I told him I felt sorry for him, and I wish I could do something to help. Shortly after, we spoke on the phone, and I asked him if he wanted to hang out on the pier. He said he’d stop by shortly.
Around 2:00 in the afternoon, I asked him if he was still coming to the pier when I hadn’t heard from him for hours. At 3:30 I finally got a response. They had been cleaning the house after the party the night before. He also told me they were getting dressed and coming down. At 5:00 I told him I was heading over to D and K’s, my friends’ apartment for a bbq I invited him to earlier. He texted back, “Just got here.”
I was just hopping on my bike to head to the grocery store. I took my motorcycle helmet off and walked back to the pier. He and his roommate were sitting there sipping Dunkin Donuts. I sat down next to them to talk about the night before. His roommate was still giving him a hard time for ditching her on her birthday to go to a different bar. I felt bad because I had a feeling he did it to see me, but I certainly didn’t put a gun to his head. I didn’t even ask him to come. I just told him where I was. I asked if they were both going to come to the bbq. They both agreed to come. I told them I would grab some food for the three of us to contribute.
When the time came to go to the bbq, his roommate didn’t want to come. N and I walked over to my D and K’s. We had a great time relaxing. I was trying to distract N from the fact that he lost his phone. After we all ate, we decided it would be a good idea for all of us to smoke. So, the two of us walked back to N’s apartment to get supplies. He wanted me to come in with him, but, again, I knew better.
Some of his roommates would be home and it would create an awkward situation. I waited by the fence while he ran inside. He tried over and over to coax me in, but I stood my ground.
When he came back outside a minute later, he told me two of his roommates were home relaxing on the couch, and we walked back to the bbq. “See!” I said. Once back, I made a deal with everyone not to let me eat everything in sight. I told them to keep me away from more food at all costs. We all smoked. Some of us had unique reactions, and we all had a good laugh about it. I was yelling at my friend because he didn’t have the munchies yet, but I did. It wasn’t fair. But I still wasn’t going to eat.
We decided to clean up and move inside. We carried everything back to the kitchen, and N and I plopped down on the couch together. I snuggled up next to him, but he wasn’t the only thing I snuggled up next to. I sat there with a tub of artichoke dip from Costco and went to town. They all laughed at my failure to stay away from the food. They all failed me as well. No one did their job keeping food out of my reach. N was also being slightly distant. I wasn’t sure if he just wasn’t feeling me that night or what. Maybe he wasn’t thrilled with the PDA, but we had done it before in front of those same friends. I chalked it up to him still being angry or distracted about losing his phone.
That night was no different than any other night. I hadn’t slept with N in a few nights, so he spent the night. We fooled around and had fun. I really appreciated getting to spend some time with him after barely seeing him all weekend. Maybe I was smothering him, but it was too easy to call him to come over when he lived right across the street. And, I never heard him complain. But, as far as I could tell, we were both happy. I was very happy to have him in my life. And, with that, I went to bed…Follow @onegayatatime