Highs and Lows

I had been on OKCupid only a short while before I met Smiles. I met only one person from the site, LES, and that was already after I met Smiles. I have to say, I’m not that big a fan. Every search I did produced few candidates I was willing to entertain. No one was good-looking, and no one had exciting profiles. It reaffirmed for me why I originally was so against dating sites. I felt like it was full of desperate men.

Rarely would I receive a message for a worthy candidate, but when I did, I would quickly respond and dry to stir up some dialogue.

I started chatting with a nice southern boy from North Carolina who moved to the city in the previous few months. He seemed like a really genuine guy who wasn’t into the scene or fully out. I was very attracted to that. The southern boys always brought a little extra something I always liked. They were mannered and real men.

We messaged back and forth on OKCupid for some time before we exchanged phone numbers. One night, he asked if I could chat. I asked him for his gchat or AIM name. He responded, “No. I meant on the phone.” To which I responded, “Sure.” We spoke on the phone for an hour that night. I really got to learn a lot about him. He was volunteering a lot of information about his upbringing and his company and where he is today. He told me how he hates gay bars. He even took the time to tell me about his “hetero life partner.” That’s what he calls his best friend and roommate he left behind in North Carolina when he moved up here. Apparently they were completely best buds, however, nothing sexual ever transpired between the two of them. It was sexy to hear him speak about such a masculine love with his friend. I was really liking what I was hearing, and the fact that he wanted to call gave him so many bonus points in my book. I even told him that last bit of information, which I think he really appreciated.

In the morning, things switched to texting. He was horny and asked me to send him some more risqué pictures. I was onboard. I was all the more happy he asked actually. It proved to me he had a healthy libido, especially in the morning, which is when I’m at my horniest. We exchanged a few racier pictures and went to work. We made a commitment to each other to try to find some time to go out on a date in the near future. I couldn’t wait. He was not only sexy to look at and hopefully to touch, but he was also sexy and masculine in his personality.

In the meantime, I was also talking to a guy I met on adam4adam.com who I’d been messaging on and off for over a year. Between every relationship, this guy and I would exchanges flirty messages and pictures, but nothing would ever transpire. It was so frustrating because I found him to be very hot. He’d get very flirtatious, but never follow through or agree to meet me. Now I was making some ground. This time around, he seemed genuinely interested. I’m not sure what changed, but I was going with it. He was coming back home after a weekend away, and we were texting the entire ride back. When he got home, we continued the conversation on Facebook with a lot of banter and playfulness. He was really coming around on me. I continued to propose a date, but it wasn’t the easiest. He was open to the idea, but I couldn’t get him to lock down on a specific time and location.

A lot of our conversations revolved around sex. Again, after the dry spell I went through with Smiles, I was happy to hear it. I also knew he had a great job, as he had his doctorate and was using to teach at a college and work at a clinic. He really seemed like the full package. From looking at his Facebook pictures, I could tell he loved to travel and he loved to have a good time. He also lived close to me. I felt like this time, I had it in the bag.

That night, I found a guy on Grindr. He was visiting, and the host he was staying with was away. He knew no one and wanted to go out. I was already contemplating going out, so I convinced my roommate to join us at the bar for casual drinks. We met him on the walk to the bar, and when we did, I was shocked. He was tiny. I’m 6’2″, and he was easily 5’2″. My roommate immediately whispered a comment to me. Then he opened his mouth and the queeniest voice came out. I was so turned off, but I couldn’t be rude.

We awkwardly sat and chatted at my favorite bar that night. It was dead, so there wasn’t even anything to distract from the incompatibility. When my roommate and I had our fill, we decided to head home. The little munchkin followed us home. He asked if he could come over, and I agreed. It was a moment of weakness. I was horny, and I thought he could be fun.

BOY WAS I WRONG. He was beyond a stage five clinger. After some making out and heavy petting, he spent the night. The next morning, he told me the only way we could have sex is if I could see him the next night. Foolishly, I agreed. It was bad. No. Let me rephrase. It was awful! I couldn’t get rid of him fast enough. I kept laying it on thick how much I needed to get to work, and finally I scooted him out the door.

This was just gay karma coming back to bite me in the ass. I never should have led him on. From the bar, I should have had the balls to just send him home and take care of myself. This is where my penis gets me into trouble. Soon enough, he’ll learn his lesson…

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  1. #1 by Midwestguy on February 24, 2012 - 5:57 PM

    Won’t lie, Big fan of your blog, this question might be my impatience, but is today a DOUBLE FEATURE FRIDAY!? If not I understand your a busy guy, I was just wondering! Enjoy your weekend!

    • #2 by One Gay at a Time on February 25, 2012 - 5:56 AM

      My apologies everyone… I’m in California after a work trip and finding it hard to find the time to write posts this week. I promise I’ll make it up to you, and you’ll hear why I’m not spending time writing…

  2. #3 by Midwestguy on February 26, 2012 - 4:34 PM

    Thanks for the update! I hope you’ve found time to not just work in California but relax a little! and no need for apologies, your the writer that entertains us all! Enjoy!

  3. #5 by BoyKitsch on April 7, 2014 - 10:38 AM

    I feel like this has been my experience with anyone I’ve met that is from out of town. I was at a club one time with a friend for some dancing and casual drinks. This guy comes up to us and we welcome him. He begins to grind on my friend until we walk away. Later, when we’re dancing her interrupts us. He takes his shirt off, slides his pants half way down, and grinds between the two of us. At first I thought it was flattering until I realized, “He’s not interested in me, he just wants to look slutty.” I felt gross and kept trying to push him off me. Afterwards he asked for our phone numbers. Obviously I said no. This is only one story. I’ve met so much worse.

  1. It’s About Time « One Gay at a Time

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