Since I was back to the single life, I was back to adam4adam. This certainly didn’t thrill me. But, once again, I have almost no gay friends, and I’m really not big on the gay scene. Other than online, I had no way to meet other gay men. One year out of the closet, and only one friend tried to connect me with another man.
In my a4a travels, I came across The Hot Dermatologist. When I first set eyes on his picture, I was a bit gaga. His body looked amazing. I messaged him and told him so, but I also told him I’d like to get to know him better. He responded well because I wasn’t just looking for a hookup. After chatting back n forth a few times, we agreed to meet for dinner.
We set a date, and made plans. He lives on the Upper East Side of NYC, and he asked if I would be willing to trek up there. I had no reason why I couldn’t, so I agreed. The day of the date, we picked a time, however, I finished work earlier than expected. I texted him, and we changed our plans. He meant to walk the dog before we met, but since I was done early, he invited me to join him for the walk.
When I arrived at his apartment, he told me to come up. He was doing something and wasn’t quite ready yet. When I got up to his apartment, we introduced ourselves at the door with a handshake. He told me to come in and introduced me to his dachshund. He apologized for not being ready and told me he was uploading pictures from his camera onto his computer. I originally thought it was something for work, but then he started showing me the pictures. They were of his dog from the weekend. This was a priority over a date with a sexy man?
He then proceeded to tell me he endorses a product on the HSN. He showed me the video clip from his call in earlier in the day.
Finally, he was ready to take the dog for a walk. We made our way outside and began to chat a bit. We talked about work, his dog and what we do for fun — simple small talk. He warned me ahead of time he needed to stop at one point to call into HSN live again. We found a quiet corner of the street, and he placed the call. It was interesting to hear what he had to say, but at the same time, I felt this was a bit odd.
When he finished the call, we walked back to the apartment to drop off the dog. He informed me his best friend was coming by while we were grabbing dinner to watch the dog and then go to the gym together later.
We walked to a nearby Mexican restaurant. He made a few recommendations, and we ordered. The whole meal, he talked. I got a few words in edgewise, but the majority of them were simply a response to his comments. He talked about how he’d like to meet a guy, but they never seem to tolerate his busy schedule. He had a boyfriend for a long time who was able to deal with his lack of presence, but that was long over. In the next sentence, he talked about how little he was making because he was in residency. He was interviewing at two different dermatologists’ offices for a position on Saturday and Sunday, his only two days off. How did he expect to find a man willing to be in on that deal?
Following dinner, he decided to take me into the garage of his building to move his car to the new space he acquired that morning. Again, this was an odd thing to do on a date. It was like I was tagging along for his errands. As we took the elevator to his floor, he told me his friends do not approve of his online dating. Just before opening his apartment door, he explained to me how he told his friend he was on a business dinner. I didn’t know what to do with that information. I had no idea what part I was supposed to be playing.
We walked in and I was introduced to his friend. His friend said, “I thought you told me you were on a business dinner?” Dr. Hotness responded, “I did.” To which his friend responded, “You went dressed like that?!” I think he immediately caught on to what was up and stopped asking questions.
After the good doctor showed his friend the pictures of his dog and the same video he showed me only an hour earlier, we all went down to the sidewalk in front of his building with the dog again. We all sat there chatting a bit. This was one of the oddest dates I have ever been on. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to run, but I didn’t want to sit there any longer either. It was the single most selfish dateI’ve ever been on.
When 8:00 arrived, Dr. Hotness said, “Well, we’re gonna hit up the gym.” We all stood, and I got a handshake. “Call me later,” he said.
With that, I turned and started walking downtown. I knew I couldn’t walk all the way down to Port Authority from 96th street, but I wasn’t ready to hop on a subway. I pulled up Grindr to see if any of the other men I was pursuing were available to meet up. Of course no one was. I wasn’t ready to just go home and plop on the couch, so I called a few friends to see if anyone was interested in an evening jog. Once again, no luck.
I got about half way to Port Authority when I gave in and flagged a cab. Another date under my belt and I had nothing to show for it. It was very disappointing.
That night, I sent him a text: “It was a pleasure meeting you and [the dog].” He responded, “U too.” I have NO idea why I said this (probably because he was so hot), but I did: “Hit me up if you want to meet up again sometime.”
In a funny twist of fate, he responded, “I think we should just be friends.” I texted, “Gonna have to agree with you there. Not that you’re not a good-looking guy. Haha.” Apparently I struck a chord there, because he said, “Ha. Why? Am I not your type?” I said, “Haha. Why do you ask? You actually are… You just don’t seem to be fully invested in finding a relationship to be honest… I assume you said just friends because I’m not yours?”
At this point, he was insulted by my observation. We went back n forth on the issue. I told him I didn’t mean to offend. After some long exchanges and some playful banter, we ended on being friends with benefits. He said, “I can tell you are a great guy too. Love your body and how sincere you are!” I was very flattered. Since then, we have been texting but have yet to meet up again. Who knows? Maybe we’ll have a hot time sometime. Maybe not.
I went in to this date very skeptical. Most men and women would swoon over dating a doctor. For me, it was a BIG turnoff. I already dated a Broadway dancer who was unavailable. A doctor would be a step in the wrong direction. When was I finally going to find a guy for me? It was back to the drawing board…Follow @onegayatatime
#1 by Nick on August 4, 2011 - 11:10 AM
This was an enjoyable read… despite the fact that it was the most awkward marathon-date ever to be blogged about! I love the randomness of the HSN-plugging, lol.
#2 by One Gay at a Time on August 5, 2011 - 10:11 AM
Yea. It was pretty awkward the whole time, but I’m too nice of a guy to walk out of a date in the middle. Thanks for your comment!!
#3 by People Need to Learn on August 4, 2011 - 11:23 PM
Interesting experience. Honestly meeting any guy online and forming a date is an unusual experience. I am not much into the gay scene myself so I understand your frustration.
There are decent guys out there though. They are just hard to find over the ones who just want a hook up. Be thankful you didn’t have that.
#4 by One Gay at a Time on August 5, 2011 - 10:10 AM
I was thankful he at least wasn’t a creep, but if he was just interested in a hookup, he wouldn’t have made it past my screening process. haha Gotta go through a lot of guys before you can find the right one, especially on social media… I definitely don’t use them the way most guys do, which is where the challenge comes in. Thanks for your comment!