Posts Tagged intercourse

Match.com: Singles in America

Continuing with this week’s Valentine’s theme, I want to highlight a study I had the privilege of learning about this weekend while attending Sweets in the City, an event hosted by Single Edition.

SinglesinAmericaMatchcom_zps167573c9107 million Americans are single, and match.com is trying to understand them. Under the guidance of Dr. Helen Fisher for the third year in-a-row, match.com has commissioned a national relationship study, Singles in America. After asking 200 questions to a perfect cross-section of the U.S., they learned fascinating new things you may or may not have heard in the news as of late.

I was shocked to learn both men and women judge each other first by their teeth, followed by grammar. It’s refreshing to know that in this day and age, communication is still important. Still, I’m surprised to see teeth topped the list (as well as proud of my pearly whites).

As a gay man who wants to one day get married, it was also refreshing to hear that commitment is back in style — 90% of those open to marriage believe they can stay married to the same person forever.

As Dr. Fisher reported the results, she was most-surprised by the increased emergence of friends with benefits. As a 28-year-old, I didn’t find this particularly surprising, having had my own FWB relationships.

In related results, virginity is no longer a core value in the dating world — If anything, it’s an obstacle. Gone are the days where the first instance of intercourse between couples occurs on the night marital consummation. I think it’s only natural that people want to test-drive the car before they buy it these days, even though women are less likely to admit it.

Sexting was a particularly interesting territory in the digital age. Although most singles believe sexting could jeopardize their careers or privacy, they still partook in this social taboo, proving love conquers all (including reason).

JustMarriedGayMenMy favorite statistic was that gay men fell in love more often than anyone else. We were more romantic, more experienced in “love at first sight” and more likely to be “deeply in love” with a long-term partner. Lastly, we had sex with the same frequency as other singles, finally proving the stereotypical perception of gay promiscuity is outdated.

I’m curious if this is due to wider acceptance of homosexuality and gay marriage, or if this has evolved naturally. Dr. Fisher made a point about not making a point of discussing homosexual responses as a separate entity because there are very few differences from the heterosexual responses. We’re not all that different after all.

The most shocking results were that women desired independence and men sought commitment. Single men fall in love faster and want to “move in” together sooner, while women still want to hold onto their girls’ night out.

Hear Dr. Helen Fisher’s own interpretation of the facts from Saturday’s event below:

This post was sponsored by the fine folks at match.com. Be sure to check out all the fun, fresh video clips at Singles in America.

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Gray Hairs

Today is another Fast Forward Friday!!!  

Hope you are enjoying these. It will help bring the blog a little closer to real time. If you’re keeping up with the stories chronologically, please skip down to this morning’s post first, then read this one. I think it’s a good one! Enjoy!

Back to your special edition of One Gay At A Time…

That night following my breakup with Smiles, I went home feeling some freedom. I’d already gone on a date and hooked up before breaking up with Smiles. But, now that it was official, I felt I could do whatever I wanted.

It’d been a while since I had some good, wild, crazy sex. I was horny. I had three months go by with only a little bit of lovin’ in the bedroom. I was hungry for a good man and a good time.

I was very cautious of history not repeating itself. I was not going to let myself go wild like I had after breaking things off with N. I didn’t need to do it now like I needed to do it then. But, that didn’t mean I couldn’t have a little fun.

I pulled out Grindr and began my talent search for the night. I wanted to find a good time one-night stand type. Any guy who wanted to hook up with me the first night he met me would not be a guy I wanted to date. Yes! That is exceptionally hypocritical of me, but it’s my love life, and I make the rules.

I found an old friend on Grindr while I was searching. He was a guy who came over to my apartment one rainy night shortly after breaking up with N. We were both staunch tops at the time, so we just fooled around a bit, but he had a great body and was a lot of fun. Even though we didn’t have penetration, we managed to find other creative ways to ensure the other fully enjoyed himself.

We chatted a bit, and he told me he missed me. I explained why I hadn’t been around as he told me he was hoping I’d hit him up again for a fun night. I told him to come by, and I would surely show him another good time. He tried to convince me to come to his place, but I insisted on hosting. I just felt more comfortable in my own bed.

He came by, and we laid in my bed just talking for a little bit. He had on many layers, and I slowly stripped a few off so he would be more comfortable while we laid there. Eventually, we started making out, and I rolled him on top of me.

Warning: The following may be too graphic for some: I stripped him down to his briefs and fully appreciated his body. He was an older gentleman, but he certainly kept in shape. Everything was still tight and sexy. I hoped I would be in such good shape when I was older. Ironically it was that night I learned he was in his last year of his forties. I had no idea he was so old. I was shocked in fact. It didn’t change the fact that he was a sexy specimen of a man, but it kinda flipped my mentality on end. Up until this point, I thought the forty-year-old was the oldest I’d been with. He looked a lot like Ulrich Alexander Fox.

Regardless, he had a great d*ck and an amazing ass. I was ready to have some fun. I recalled his position as a top only, so I knew there would be not penetration again, but ironically enough, he volunteered, “Maybe sometime I’ll let you inside me.”

I was completely caught off guard. I replied, “Really!? Why’s that?” “Because you’re sexy, and I really feel comfortable with you. Maybe some day.” I asked if he ever bottomed, and he told me it’d been many many years since he’d last done it. I felt privileged. I was getting the ego boost I needed to get me back on my feet. It couldn’t have come at a better time. Here was a guy who was looking forward to another romp in the sheets with me, and we’d never even had full intercourse. Maybe I was better in the sack than I gave myself credit for :).

I had a lot of fun with him that night. He went down on me, and I finished like a pro. He commented on how he wished he still got as hard as I did and was able to shoot like I can. I then, with jello legs, helped him finish as well. He certainly deserved that after the fun night I was having.

Afterwards, we laid next to each other and just talked for a while. It was then I learned he was actually black. I’d noticed he wasn’t a white guy, but I wasn’t sure what his background was. I had nothing against this at all. I’d just thought maybe he was of Middle Eastern descent or possibly Egyptian. I also learned he was adopted by what seemed like a picturesque white family in Connecticut. He was very happy explaining his upbringing. I could tell there was a lot of love in that family. I was happy I had a real man in my bed and not just a body to hook up with. I’d never start a relationship with him, but at least this friend with benefits was an interesting guy with a big heart.

He again told me how much he missed me and being with me. He also told me he hoped we could find time to meet up again in the future. He encouraged me to come to his place some time since he lived alone and had a nice apartment. I told him I would certainly come to him next time. I learned he really wasn’t a creep, but a decent guy with a decent libido.

I once again took the opportunity to admire his body and tell him how hot he is. He was embarrassed by my compliments and talked about his need to take more care of his body. I insisted it was pretty amazing, and he directed the attention toward mine. He told me in detail how hot I was and how thrilled he was to have fun with me.

We continued to talk as her got dressed. I walked him to the door and gave him a kiss goodnight.

It was exactly what I needed right when I needed it. I had fun. I got an ego boost. And, I had a smile on my face for at least the rest of the night. I would sleep a very happy man that night!

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