Posts Tagged blowjob

Rejected!

Monday morning I woke up. Since I wasn’t wasting so much time messaging guys on Grindr, I felt so much freer. I had no idea how much time I spent searching and complimenting guys on their torsos in hopes they’d see something they’d like and allow me to ask them out on a date.

I was also thrilled since I got to sleep in my own bed the night before. My parents came to visit for Easter weekend, and I gave them my bed. Sunday night, they offered to get themselves a hotel room so I could get a decent night’s sleep for work Monday. After I dropped them at their hotel with my sister, I came home and passed out. I love my parents, but I was happy to have my place back again. I’d spent the weekend playing tour guide. It was exhausting.

Even though I wasn’t sending out messages on Grindr didn’t mean I wasn’t checking them. I fired it up to see if my prince charming would ask me out on a date. I found quite the opposite. I blocked a fair amount of guys before I found an interesting message. I spent the weekend being celibate. One of the guys on Grindr seemed pretty normal and chill. We began to chat a bit before he offered to blow me. Like that, I was back in it. I had done such a good job of staying away from the simple Grindr stranger hookups, but I was horny after a weekend of being good. I made an exception of course and accepted his offer to blow me. What harm was there? I could enjoy myself before work and have a great day. “Sure,” I said in reply.

I gave him my address, and he drove over to my place on his way to work. I quickly hopped in the shower. He buzzed, and I called him up to my apartment. I quickly dried off and got dressed. When he got to the door, I brought him right into my room. I was wearing gym shorts and a tank. We made our way to my bed, and I sat down. Just then, he looked at me and said, “Sorry bud. I’m just gonna go.” With that, he turned around, sped out my door and left without another word.

I felt so rejected. What was it about me that scared him off. He made it all the way to my bedroom before darting. Was I that repulsive? Why the sudden change of heart!? I felt so dejected! My self-esteem shot down to an all-time low. This had never happened to me, and I suppose it was karma for all my Grindr trysts. It was bound to happen at some pont. I thought about all the times I wanted to do what he did and didn’t. I’d always regretted not standing up and walking out, but suddenly I no longer regretted it. I would have put those guys in a tailspin like I was going through. I did have to respect him honesty however. It was a catch 22.

I was horny from the thought of getting off before work, so I quickly finished myself off and got ready for work. I was disgusted with myself for bending my new rule, especially since I didn’t get anything out of it. Served me right!

That night I had a date scheduled with a guy I’d been chatting with for over a year. We met through Grindr and tried to grab drinks before I met N, but when I started dating him, things fizzled out. We chatted periodically on AIM, but nothing ever materialized. I even contemplated making a career shift to event planning, which this guy did, but we were never able to get together to talk about it. We simply kept it to a digital relationship. When things with Smiles ended, I began to look back at the guys I’d been chatting with. I hit him up and asked him out.

We made plans to meet at Ariba Ariba after work for margaritas and a bite. During the day, I stalked him a bit on Facebook. I noticed he was a camera whore. He took so many pictures in so many gay bars. He was totally a part of the scene. He was a fixture. I worried this would be a roadblock, but I was still optimistic. Maybe I could learn to love it.

I arrived ahead of him and waited on the corner. When I saw him arriving, I noticed how attractive his smile was, followed by how short he was and how “fun” he dressed. He was very cute. We awkwardly said hi and made our way inside. He asked if I was hungry, and I told him I hadn’t eaten, so we agreed to grab dinner on top of drinks. We were seated at a tight table and settled in.

We mainly began talking about work. It was very awkward. Considering we’d chatted so often online, you think we’d have been able to jump right in — Not the case. There were so many awkward pauses. I was struggling to find topics to talk about with him. He wasn’t exactly spurring the conversation on.

We started to talk about TV and what we watch. I thought that would be a safe topic and would spur further conversation. That only led to learning we had very different entertainment tastes. He watched a lot of Bravo TV like Housewives of… and other shows of the same ilk. I was more into the mainstream network TV. I wanted to have more in common with him, and I could tell he did too based on comments, but it was a bit of a struggle. I asked so many more mundane questions followed by mundane answers.

We ate our meals while we talked, but it was far from a great dinner. It was pleasant. The food was good, but there was no flow to the date. I was ready for it to be over. I was a bit disappointed since I thought we’d get along swimmingly. We just didn’t have good chemistry.

When we finished, we paid the bill and made our way out. We began walking through Hell’s Kitchen south together. He lived that way, and I was headed to the bus. When we got to a shop along the way, Tagg, he needed to run in and grab something for a friend’s birthday. I went in with him since I had nowhere to be. We had some fun chatting about random things in the shop. He made his purchase, and we continued south. When we got to his intersection, we exchanged a kiss goodbye, and he made a comment about hanging out again sometime. I agreed, but in my mind it would be under a friendly premises.

We texted afterwards, but was pleasantries and formalities. We exchanged that we each had a nice time, but that would pretty much be the end of us.

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Pretty Fly for a Brit Guy

Life was returning to normal. I went to work every day, and I managed to fit in some gym sessions over my lunch breaks. I was feeling good.

I was free. I was single. I had no rules. Or at least I could live by my own rules.

Sadly, my old friend Grindr and I were rejoined at the hip. I wasn’t thrilled to be pals again, but he was a necessary evil. If I was going to straight bars every weekend, I was destined to live a life of the third wheel forever. I needed to do something proactive.

Most days at work, Grindr would sit open on my phone in the background waiting for the right guy to come along. Periodically throughout the day, I’d check on it to see what I caught in my net or to periodically toss out a new line.

I try to take my “lunch” at the gym at least twice a week. This frees up my evenings and actually makes me more productive. When the endorphins are flowing, I’m a far better worker.

I was also back on Grindr full force. I was on the hunt for a man. Mainly I was looking for a relationship. But, if the right opportunity came up, and I was in the mood, I wasn’t going to turn them away.

Just as I said before, if I wanted sex, I would go for it. But, if I wasn’t interested, I would simply let the opportunity go by. There was no need to hold on to guys for future use. There are plenty to go around.

Monday, on my way to the gym for a workout, I pulled up Grindr and began chatting with a great looking torso. We exchanged a few messages before he told me to come to his hotel. I laughed to myself and told the guy, “Sorry buddy. I’m on my way to the gym for a workout. Good luck.”

Apparently, he wasn’t done with me. He continued to message me all the things he wanted to do to me. Now, I was at the gym, and I was turned on. Originally I had no interest, but his persistence peaked my interest.

I learned he was a flight attendant staying at the Radisson Hotel near my office. This certainly wasn’t the first flight attendant I had a chat with staying at that hotel. It was almost a daily occurrence in the past. This one was hungry. He really wanted to give me a blowjob. He sent me a few pictures, and my interest was peaked even more. However, I continued with my workout.

Smiles and I were no more. I had to do what I could to attract a new man. I was focused on my workout. I needed to whip my body back into shape. It didn’t matter if it was winter. I wasn’t going to use that as an excuse. I’d lost some weight since Smiles challenged me on that subject. However, it all returned when my relationship was coming to a close. I was simply feeling lazy. The breakup was the kick in the butt I needed to get back to the gym in a dedicated fashion.

I told him I would not be able to come by because I was at the gym, and I had to return to work. I did offer the possibility of stopping by on my way home after work. I asked him what his plan was exactly. He stated: “I leave the door open for you. You come in with the lights out, we make out and I suck you off.” That was quite a plan. I had very little heavy lifting, and I would go home a happy man. “And I don’t have to do anything to you?” I added. “No. I just really love sucking c*ck,” he replied. The pictures he sent certainly showed him to be a very attractive and fit man. I wasn’t completely sold, but the prospect was top of mind.

There was one catch. I wasn’t done work until at least 5:30, and he had to leave the hotel at 6:15. As my workday was coming to a close, I messaged him to see if our arrangement could work out. He said as long as I arrived quickly, there would be enough time for him to blow me.

Yes, I know how incredibly risky this situation sounds. I also know how incredibly disgusting it sounds. I was completely using another human being. I’m not proud of it, but we all have a sexual animal instinct. Mine was starved for nearly twenty-six years. After that, it fluctuated. I was in need of pleasure, so I wasn’t about to deny myself that. Feel free to judge away.

I left work and went to the hotel. I arrived at his room and knocked on the door. He answered in a pair of shorts. I came in, and he immediately began making out with me. He was hot. I was really enjoying myself.

Warning: The following may be too graphic for some. He then unbuttoned my pants and pulled them down. He did all this while one hand was lifting my polo up, and he was licking my nipples. This guy was good. Good kisser and sensual bedfellow.

We moved things to the bed, and I stripped off his shorts. He had a great body and an amazing d*ck and a$s. I was having a blast. I scoped out his body. I told him to join me up on the bed so I could play with his body. He had a spectacular a$$ and an amazing d*ck. I was having a blast treating parts of his body like an amusement park for my hands and fingers. I almost couldn’t get over how sexy this guy was. He could probably have any guy he wanted. Why was he offering to blow guys without receiving anything in return? He must really enjoy pleasing another man.

Finally, I finished just as he requested. I really enjoyed all of it. It was a blast. I know it’s not the most conventional thing, but I saw no harm in this. He aimed all over his face. This guy really had a kinky side. I know I wouldn’t be able to do what he did, but if that’s how he got his rocks off, more power to him.

I asked him if he had a towel. These were the first words exchanged between us. We walked to the bathroom to retrieve a towel to clean up. I finally got to see him in the light. He had an adorable face to match his hot body, and I took the opportunity to inform him of all of this. On top of that, I heard him speak for the first time. He had the cutest British accent I’d ever heard. I wanted to take this guy home immediately. Sexy, good in bed, British accent — He was the full package! And, if it couldn’t get any better, when I gave him all these compliments, his smile was incredible.

I talked to him about his plans for the rest of the evening. He had to run to catch a flight back to the U.K. He was working and overnight. He planned on finishing himself off before he showered and made his way to the airport. We talked a little about his job, and I wished him the best of luck. With that, I was off on my way home.

As I walked to the PATH, I messaged him on Grindr and asked him for his email. I told him we could meet up the next time he was in New York City. Maybe we could even do something crazy like grab a drink. I dunno why, but I wanted this guy to be a pen pal of sorts. I was thrilled to think I could make a friend in the U.K., and I was sure he’d be back in the states often. When I got to the other side of the Hudson, he’d replied with his email. I sent him another Grindr message a day later when he arrived home. He told me he was looking forward to seeing me again. I told him when he came back to New York, we’d grab a drink at the bar sometime, but I still have yet to send him an email to set up a meeting time…

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Whoring It Up in OCMD Pt. 2

On the way to Rehoboth, the guy from the run texted me. I explained the situation and his lack of commitment. At this point, I was in over my head with the hicks. I told him to meet us in Rehoboth. I needed to be rescued, and he eventually came to my rescue.

We arrived at the bar, The Purple Parrot, and he arrived about a half hour later. I noticed the guy who originally was talking to me on Grindr was laying claim to me. I overheard some alarming conversations that made me realize he expected some sexual action from me. “I swear to God, if he goes home with this guy after we brought him up here!” This was NOT happening. I clung to my new friend like white on rice.

The hicks went inside to do karaoke, and my new friend and I followed shortly after. We found a bachelorette party of the sweetest girls to entertain us. We all became good friends fast, which was perfect because the hicks were ready to leave. I explained I was going to stay and would meet up with them later in the night. The one who laid claim to me tried to hang back with us and even asked for a ride home, but when he couldn’t get a guarantee, he got p*ssed and left. Later in the night I received a text scolding me for never meeting up. I retorted explaining why, and my reasoning was that I was not a piece of meat for him to lay claim to.

We spent the rest of the night singing karaoke with our new bachelorette friends and taking lots of pictures. We had a blast. When it was getting late, he asked if I was ready to go home. He was a really sweet guy, and I had a good time with him. Even if I had to deal with the hicks for most of the night, I was happy to get away and got to spend some time with a new friend.

On the way home, I rubbed the back of his head while he drove, and we chatted. I wasn’t sure where this was going, but there was no way in hell I was having sex with anyone. He drove right past my condo when we got back to Ocean City and went straight to his place. When we entered, he was startled because he mom was still up. We hid in a side hallway until he could devise a plan. He told me I was going to be “Steve” his friend, and we walked past her up to the loft he was staying in.

Once we got up there, we started making out a bit. He pulled his pants down and started playing with himself. My pants were off, but I still had my boxers on. I decided to give him a hand. He finished all over his shirt and pretty much passed out. I was really hoping he’d be a gentleman and drive me home, but that wasn’t going to be the case. I would have to walk 2.5 miles home at 3:00am. I told him I needed to wake up in my own bed, got dressed and walked out.

At this point, I was very horny. Along my walk, I received a message from the guy who exchanged blowjobs a few nights before with the man I just left. I heard how hot he was, so I entertained the idea of meeting him. His roommate was home, so he convinced me to meet him in the dark alley behind his apartment building. When I got there, he was standing with his dick in his hand. He was really hot. We started making out. He undid my pants and gave me a blowjob. After some time, I returned the favor and then continued working with my hand. Shortly after, he finished all over the sidewalk. It was really hot. I thought I was going to receive the same treatment, but instead, he told me he had to get back inside before his roommate noticed he was gone. This was now two guys in one half hour that I helped with a “night-cap” who didn’t feel the need to reciprocate.

On the next leg of my journey, my mother called. I explained that “Will” had too much to drink once we got back to O.C., and I wanted to sleep in my own bed, so I agreed to hop on the bus. However, all the buses were packed to the gills, so I told her I was walking home. She stated, “You’re an adult and you can stay out as long as you like, but you need to tell us when you’re going to be out this late. Your father and I haven’t been able to sleep.”

The entertain myself for the rest of the 2 miles I had to go, I turned to Grindr. I had received another message from yet another hottie while I was hooking up in an alley. At this point I was a complete whore. Why not tack on another one? This guy was horny and looking for action. I explained where I was and where I was headed. I told him he could come pick me up, but asked where we could hookup. I suggested his car, but being a local, he convinced me it was cool if we hooked up on the beach. Just as I was getting to my street, he drove past me and turned towards the beach. I followed and met him by the sand.

We introduced ourselves and began to walk through the dunes. Just then, the garbage trucks were driving across the beach to empty all the cans. We stood and waited for them to finish before we started making out. He was a good kisser, and he quickly moved on to orally pleasing me. He was good. He was very good. Finally, someone was interested in my pleasure that night. After a while, he stood. I dropped his pants and returned the favor. I never hooked up on a beach before. It was an exciting new venture for me. After a while, I asked if he was a bottom. I explained I wasn’t going to have sex with him, but I wanted to grind on each other a bit. He agreed and turned around. I pressed my body against his and gave him a reach around. He finished all over the sand. It was my turn. I started to take over for myself while he played with my balls. It felt great. When I shot all over the sand, he said, “Wow. I’ve never seen anyone shoot like that before.” I replied, “Yea… That’s my hidden talent.”

After the two of us decorated the sand, we got dressed and started to walk back towards his car. We talked about why he was in O.C. and how he was moving to NYC in September. I told him to hit me up when he did. I was always looking for new friends to hang out with. We said goodbye with a kiss, and I walked home.

When I got home, I opened the door quietly and hopped into the sofa bed I was relegated to since my sister arrived. My mother came out to scold me one last time before dozing off. I felt like such a high school boy sneaking around to hookup and getting yelled at for breaking curfew.

The next morning, the last day at the beach, the guy I met on the run wanted to meet up and make up for not finishing me off the night before. This was a constant circus of juggling locations and sneaking around. It was becoming nearly impossible. The solution we came up with; he would pick me up in his car and we would hookup in his car somewhere. That somewhere turned out to be a parking garage, and that hookup turned into a blowjob for me. We both finished in the car by our own hands. He was heading home straight from there, while I was heading to the beach to meet my family. He dropped me off by the sand, and we said our goodbyes. He encouraged me to hit him up the next time I was home in Pa.

I was ashamed and embarrassed of my behavior on my vacation, but I got it all out of my system. I wasn’t planning to hookup at all, but even went as far as to do it three times in one night. What a whore! Once again, things needed to change, but I just told myself it was vacation. I was allowed to take a vacation from my morals for a week…

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What Do You Want From This?

Tuesday came and went, and N and I barely talked. We usually messaged each other during the day at work on Gchat, but that day he wasn’t able to sign on. I was a little suspicious, but he said it happens periodically. I asked him to come over that night, and he said he would come by late. He wanted to go to the gym since he didn’t go the night before and ate and drank a lot at the graduation party.

I needed to further our discussion about what we were doing and where we were heading. I wasn’t satisfied with the current path laid out, so something needed to change.

When he came over, things were awkward. I didn’t get nearly the warm greeting I usually got. He hadn’t eaten, so he ordered a ton of food — Enough to feed three people. He also brought along supplies to smoke. We went out on the balcony so he could smoke. I was still feeling nauseous and not eating much. He mentioned smoking might be a good thing for my nausea. I hadn’t thought of that, and immediately agreed. The idea of smoking in my state wasn’t appealing, but the idea of feeling better sounded great at that point.

I asked him if we could talk about us. I wanted to get to him before his state of mind was altered. He responded, “Can I eat my food first?” Begrudgingly, I agreed, but this was torture for me. I knew it wouldn’t be a quick meal, and this was already eating at me for days. But, I would have to wait longer. We chatted a bit while I watched him eat, but the conversation was superficial and lacked substance.

When he was finishing eating, I was getting very flirtatious with him. I don’t know why I did this. Maybe I thought it was the only way to grab his attention. Maybe I was simply horny. Either way, we were making out in the kitchen and moved things to the bedroom. We had some fun and pleasured each other.

Warning: The following paragraph may be more graphic than you are used to reading here. When we got into bed, I started with the heavy petting and started using my mouth. After a short bit, we switched, and N gave me head. He always told me how much he enjoyed my dick and the taste of it. Whether or not this was just a line I will never know. I noticed immediately he was utilizing some new techniques. Of course my mind began to wonder where these came from? Another man recently perhaps? Either way, it felt great. Normally it took me some time to finish, but not tonight. He was finding all the right spots. I was very close, and right when he went deep, I exploded down the back of his throat. I didn’t make a noise when this was happening. I assumed he knew and that’s why he went deeper. When he pulled back, he asked why I didn’t tell him I was going to finish. I reminded him of an earlier discussion we had in which he told me I never needed to warn him of that. A big part of me did it on purpose. I did it in a power move. It made me feel like I had the upper hand. However, the power shifted almost immediately. He didn’t swallow all of my seed. A good portion was deposited back al over his hand. He motioned as if he was going to slap my chest with his semen-covered hand, but I protested. Instead, he quickly shifted and slid a semen-covered finger across my forehead and proclaimed, “Simba” and began to perform a victory dance around my bedroom. I have never before been so disrespected in my life. This one act solidified in my mind my status as his convenient booty call. No one disrespects someone they care about in this manner.

When we were finished, I ended up, arms folded, resting naked on his chest. Our faces were locked on each other, and I posed my question again, “Now can we talk about us?”

This whole time I felt like such a woman. I was doing all the things a needy girl does in a relationship, and I didn’t like it. But, I didn’t know what else to do. I needed answers, and I needed to know if he still had feelings for me.

So, I started the conversation. I asked, “What do you want from this?” I didn’t get a response. So, I posed another a better-phrased question, “Do you like where things are going?” He responded with a definitive yes. He explained he really enjoys spending time with me and thinks things were progressing well. I then asked, “Do you think we’re moving too fast?” Again, he said yes, and I agreed with him. We only knew each other a month and a half and he was spending almost every night in my bed. I took a lot of the blame here. I should have known better then to put us into that situation considering how new a gay relationship was for him. I asked if he wanted to take a step back, and again he said yes. I agreed and explained maybe we shouldn’t spend so much time together. In my mind, in light of recent events, I was already taking a step back to protect my own feelings. Now, I was going to give him all the space he needed. I was no longer going to be the first to initiate contact. I would respond to his messages, but I was going to give him a lot of space.

I know my hands were not clean at all. I had sex with another man. I justified it in my mind because it was just sex, and it was just to even the playing field for the suspected cheating. I had no emotional attachment to the man. But, in my mind, what N did at the bar was so much worse. I felt he was seeking out another relationship under my nose, not just a physical need. I now know how warped and hypocritical all this sounds, but at the time, it made sense to me.

I then took the opportunity to address N’s time spent on Grindr and at the gym. As he did two days earlier, he told me he was not actively seeking anything. He was just talking, “and not like ‘I want to stick it in your ass’ talking.” I knew better. No one just talks on Grindr. After all, it’s how I met N, and it’s how I met the random hookup. I wasn’t buying his line about just talking at all.

I told him if this was going to work, he needed to be completely honest with me. I could stand not being exclusive (or so I thought), but if that was the case, I needed to be kept in the loop. Looking back, I knew better. I don’t share my men. I knew that was not an arrangement I could be a part of, but I wasn’t ready to let him go.

We talked about how he didn’t need to spend every night with in my bed. He lived across the street. Some nights we could just do our own thing. He needed freedom, and I needed to give it to him if I wanted to keep him.

With that, it was starting to get late. I walked over to my phone and asked what time he needed to get up in the morning so I could set the alarm. He responded, “Well, I was going to go home.” I think my facial expression must have said a lot, because he immediately began to back peddle. He said, “No, but I’ll stay.” I said, “You can go home. You don’t have to stay. It’s fine.” I wasn’t even simply being passive aggressive. He insisted on staying now, and I gave him one more out. At this point, he pulled down the covers and got under the sheets.

The fact that he wanted to leave after our discussion painted a clearer picture for me. This was over. I didn’t fully know it yet, but we were done.

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The Repeat Offender

It’s amazing what the power of suggestion can do to you. All it takes is for someone to put an idea in your head, and you are rendered incapacitated. It can consume you and become all you think about. This power was wielded over me by who other than the 40 y.o.

Following my birthday weekend, I reserved Sunday night to sit my single ass on the couch and catch up on the DVR. I was all but finished watching everything I taped the week before when I got a a text message from the 40 y.o. “Recover from your birthday present? Want another bj?”

That’s all it took. The seed was planted. My mind raced back to the last time he came by, and all I could think about was how good it felt. I told him to come by my apartment. When he asked if I could come to his place, I became a little uneasy. I wasn’t sure about not being on my home turf. He wanted to host because he was doing laundry and packing for a business trip the next day and he “figured I’d take a break to blow you. lol.”

I explained to him I felt more comfortable in my own setting. To which he responded, “Understand. It’ll just have to be a raincheck then. I’ll be back in a few days.”

That’s where he had me. I lost the upper hand, and he knew it. I would either have to come to him, or I would have to wait for the blowjob that was just planted into my brain.

I tried my hand at being clever to lure him to my apartment. “Put a load in… Then I’ll put a load in, and you’ll be back just in time to switch it over. You know you want to.”

My tricks didn’t work. “I have to be smart. I have to be up for an early train. Guess I’ll have to watch porn and spank it.”

We sparred back-and-forth with our words, both trying to convince the other to come to them. Just when I had him convinced to make the 7 block trek to my apartment, one of my roommates came home. I was so close, and yet so far away. With that, I finally agreed to go to his place. He lives in the same building as one of my friends, and I needed to drop something off at her apartment.

When I arrived, he gave me a hug. He proceeded to show me around his apartment, the whole time playing with himself in his gym shorts. Finally he pulled me into his bedroom and sat me down on the bed. He pulled my shorts down just enough so he could get working on me. I took his shirt off and began to play with his nipples. We were both enjoying ourselves. He pulled off his shorts and sat naked on the hardwood. His member was BIG just as I remembered from the first time, however, he never got fully erect. I remembered this from our first encounter and how worried I was it would happen to me at the age of 40.

Then he did something that both shocked and disgusted me. He pulled out a small bottle, untwisted the cap, held it to his nose and heavily snorted in each nostril. I don’t have a lot of experience with drugs, so I wasn’t fully aware of what was going on.

I didn’t really want to look at him anymore. I told him to come up on the bed so I could lay back. He disagreed and said he wanted to stay on the floor. I complied.

It wasn’t much longer before my whole body was tingling, and I was ready to finish. I let him know how close I was by the volume of my moaning. He pulled me in deeper and took everything I had to give. When I was depleted, he commented, “Wow, that was a lot!”

I responded with the only thing I could think of. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you…”

He walked into his bathroom to rinse his mouth as I got dressed. When he came back into the bedroom, he pulled on his shorts and shirt and said, “I’ll walk out with you. I need to take the dog for a walk.”

As we walked down the stairs, we discussed the noise level of his neighbors. I began to wonder about his noise level. That’s when the thought crossed my mind, how many of “us” are there in his roster?

We got outside, and I said goodbye to both him and the dog. On that walk home, I was still feeling euphoric from the bj, but I also decided this was the last time I would have a sexual encounter with the 40 y.o. It was fun, but there were too many things about the whole situation that made me uncomfortable.

After that, he began stalking me on Grindr — heavily. After some time, I blocked him so he could no longer track my whereabouts. For a little while, I would respond to his text messages, but as of late, I’ve taken to simply ignoring him. I’m dreading the day I run into him on the street.

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Birthday Pop-In

My “Birthday Weekend” status in Grindr was producing an exorbitant amount of hits. Men were throwing themselves at me left and right for no other reason than the fact that I provided them material for an opening line. Almost every message was “want a birthday blowjob?” or “how bout some birthday sex?”

After my encounter with the 40 y.o., I couldn’t tell if I was excited or scared. It awakened something deep inside me. I craved the promiscuity of these random encounters. I wanted more. On the flip-side, they scared the hell out of me. I had no idea who I was meeting or what they could do to me.

The Saturday following my birthday, I went back to my favorite bar with my friends. I was on the hunt. It was my birthday, I was single, and I was horny. Grindr was my best friend all night. I didn’t stop checking it.

One guy in particular was very persistent with his messages. We exchanged a few messages back-n-forth throughout the night. He wanted to meet somewhere. When I told him I was going home for the night, he was insistent upon coming over. We could not meet at his place because his roommates didn’t know he was gay, and he was very worried whether or not my roommates were home. I assuaged his fears, explaining they were both already sleeping in bed.

Since it began to rain, he insisted I meet him half way and walk back to my apt together. This was beginning to become more work than it was worth. Finally, I convinced him to come to my door and text when he arrived. Yes, I gave him my phone number. I’m slowly learning I need to be much more contentious about giving that out.

I had seen his picture on Grindr, but when I walked down to the front door of my apartment building, I was shocked at what I saw. This is going to sound very shallow, but I’m just being honest. He was fat. And, I don’t mean husky or chubby. I can deal with that. He was F-A-T fat. I’m sorry if this offends people, but it’s just not my type. I take very good care of my body, and I am attracted to men who do the same. I was immediately turned off, but I’m not the kind of guy who just slams the door on someone who walked through the rain to come “pleasure” me.

When I opened the door, he quickly but quietly came rushing in. He looked panicked, like his parents just walked in on him having sex. When he explained why he was in a rush, I couldn’t help but notice how flamboyant he was. There was no way in hell his roommates didn’t know he was gay. It was written all over his body language. We walked up the stairs to my apartment, quietly opened the door and crept in silently. Silently until he allowed the metal door to slam behind him. Now, he looked like he was ready to sprint back down the stairs. After the 40 y.o., this felt like old hat. I wasn’t nervous at all.

We walked back to my bedroom and closed the door. I have never seen anyone strip down so fast in my life. I began to do the same, at which point he decided to help me along. He was sprinting, when sex is meant to be a long distance run at the least.

We started with the heavy petting. He felt like ziplocs full of pudding. On top of that, he was all over. He never stayed in one place for more than a second. I was so confused. I felt like I was going through a car wash. After some making out, heavy petting, oral pleasure and grinding, he turned onto his back and began masturbating. In my confusion and lack of a better idea, I did the same. He finished rather quickly, and I got him a towel. He started to rubbing me all over again. If anything it was a major distraction, not help. He asked if I was going to finish. At this point, I was so fed up with him I replied, “No. It’s going to take me longer.”

Much to my dismay, but also my pleasure, he responded, “Ok, well I’m gonna go. I have to get back before my roommates notice I am gone.”

As quickly as he removed the, he put his clothes back on, put on his shoes and quickly shuffled down the hall and out the door.

To date, this was the worst “hook up” I have ever participated in. To top it off, he continued to text me over the next few weeks. And if the whole situation wasn’t awkward enough, I found myself standing next to him and his friend on the PATH train one day. I kept my head buried in my newspaper and darted out the door the second they opened. To this day, I still get offended every time he texts, but I have yet to respond to a single one.

 

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