Posts Tagged talent

Gray Hairs

Today is another Fast Forward Friday!!!  

Hope you are enjoying these. It will help bring the blog a little closer to real time. If you’re keeping up with the stories chronologically, please skip down to this morning’s post first, then read this one. I think it’s a good one! Enjoy!

Back to your special edition of One Gay At A Time…

That night following my breakup with Smiles, I went home feeling some freedom. I’d already gone on a date and hooked up before breaking up with Smiles. But, now that it was official, I felt I could do whatever I wanted.

It’d been a while since I had some good, wild, crazy sex. I was horny. I had three months go by with only a little bit of lovin’ in the bedroom. I was hungry for a good man and a good time.

I was very cautious of history not repeating itself. I was not going to let myself go wild like I had after breaking things off with N. I didn’t need to do it now like I needed to do it then. But, that didn’t mean I couldn’t have a little fun.

I pulled out Grindr and began my talent search for the night. I wanted to find a good time one-night stand type. Any guy who wanted to hook up with me the first night he met me would not be a guy I wanted to date. Yes! That is exceptionally hypocritical of me, but it’s my love life, and I make the rules.

I found an old friend on Grindr while I was searching. He was a guy who came over to my apartment one rainy night shortly after breaking up with N. We were both staunch tops at the time, so we just fooled around a bit, but he had a great body and was a lot of fun. Even though we didn’t have penetration, we managed to find other creative ways to ensure the other fully enjoyed himself.

We chatted a bit, and he told me he missed me. I explained why I hadn’t been around as he told me he was hoping I’d hit him up again for a fun night. I told him to come by, and I would surely show him another good time. He tried to convince me to come to his place, but I insisted on hosting. I just felt more comfortable in my own bed.

He came by, and we laid in my bed just talking for a little bit. He had on many layers, and I slowly stripped a few off so he would be more comfortable while we laid there. Eventually, we started making out, and I rolled him on top of me.

Warning: The following may be too graphic for some: I stripped him down to his briefs and fully appreciated his body. He was an older gentleman, but he certainly kept in shape. Everything was still tight and sexy. I hoped I would be in such good shape when I was older. Ironically it was that night I learned he was in his last year of his forties. I had no idea he was so old. I was shocked in fact. It didn’t change the fact that he was a sexy specimen of a man, but it kinda flipped my mentality on end. Up until this point, I thought the forty-year-old was the oldest I’d been with. He looked a lot like Ulrich Alexander Fox.

Regardless, he had a great d*ck and an amazing ass. I was ready to have some fun. I recalled his position as a top only, so I knew there would be not penetration again, but ironically enough, he volunteered, “Maybe sometime I’ll let you inside me.”

I was completely caught off guard. I replied, “Really!? Why’s that?” “Because you’re sexy, and I really feel comfortable with you. Maybe some day.” I asked if he ever bottomed, and he told me it’d been many many years since he’d last done it. I felt privileged. I was getting the ego boost I needed to get me back on my feet. It couldn’t have come at a better time. Here was a guy who was looking forward to another romp in the sheets with me, and we’d never even had full intercourse. Maybe I was better in the sack than I gave myself credit for :).

I had a lot of fun with him that night. He went down on me, and I finished like a pro. He commented on how he wished he still got as hard as I did and was able to shoot like I can. I then, with jello legs, helped him finish as well. He certainly deserved that after the fun night I was having.

Afterwards, we laid next to each other and just talked for a while. It was then I learned he was actually black. I’d noticed he wasn’t a white guy, but I wasn’t sure what his background was. I had nothing against this at all. I’d just thought maybe he was of Middle Eastern descent or possibly Egyptian. I also learned he was adopted by what seemed like a picturesque white family in Connecticut. He was very happy explaining his upbringing. I could tell there was a lot of love in that family. I was happy I had a real man in my bed and not just a body to hook up with. I’d never start a relationship with him, but at least this friend with benefits was an interesting guy with a big heart.

He again told me how much he missed me and being with me. He also told me he hoped we could find time to meet up again in the future. He encouraged me to come to his place some time since he lived alone and had a nice apartment. I told him I would certainly come to him next time. I learned he really wasn’t a creep, but a decent guy with a decent libido.

I once again took the opportunity to admire his body and tell him how hot he is. He was embarrassed by my compliments and talked about his need to take more care of his body. I insisted it was pretty amazing, and he directed the attention toward mine. He told me in detail how hot I was and how thrilled he was to have fun with me.

We continued to talk as her got dressed. I walked him to the door and gave him a kiss goodnight.

It was exactly what I needed right when I needed it. I had fun. I got an ego boost. And, I had a smile on my face for at least the rest of the night. I would sleep a very happy man that night!

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Deep Pockets

Since deciding to end things with Smiles, I’d already been on one date and had one hookup. I certainly hit the ground running. I felt slightly guilty all this was going on before we even had the chance to formally end things, but then again, things never really formally began between us.

I wasn’t wasting any time either. I had been talking to a really nice guy on adam4adam.com and set up a date to grab drinks with him after work Friday evening. It was a bit awkward because this was truly a blind date.

He had two pictures on a4a, but neither was clear and one didn’t include a face. When I asked him to send me a better face picture, he told me he didn’t like taking pictures of himself. Of course a red flag raised in my mind, but I had nothing to lose either. If I arrived and the guy was unacceptable, I was right next to the Port Authority bus terminal. I would be home in no time with little of my time wasted.

We agreed to grab drinks at Arriba Arriba in Hell’s Kitchen. It was conveniently located between his apartment and my office, and like I said, it wasn’t far from my transportation hub to go home.

As I left my office and began walking north, I was quite nervous. I’d never been on a true blind date before. I’d at least seen pictures of their faces, but this time I had no idea what he looked like. I joked with him, “Not gonna lie. Not sure what you look like… Haha.” It didn’t take him to respond: “Sorry mate. Don’t like taking pictures of myself. We will find each other… haha. You can ask me to leave once you see me and how ugly I am. Lol.” I didn’t care all that much at this point for the picture. I was already going in blind. I replied, “No apologies needed. Just tellin’ ya you’re gonna have to find me…”

I waited for him on the street corner. I put that time in a good location to good use. I surfed Grindr in HK for any new prospects. I know some may say that is classless considering I was waiting for a date, but I’m not in HK all that often anymore, and there is more talent in that neighborhood than where I work. He finally arrived and approached me. I asked how his trek to HK was, and we went inside to find a table.

When we learned we could only stand at  the bar since we weren’t ordering food, we decided to go elsewhere. I was at a bit of a loss because I hadn’t been in the neighborhood for some time. I didn’t know of a good place for us to go for a drink. Luckily, this guy was good on his feet. He suggested Eatery, and we were off.

We grabbed a seat at the bar and ordered a few rounds of drinks. We chatted for a long time about a myriad of things. The whole time, he kept his ball-cap on. Beyond the fact that he should know it’s bad manners, especially since he was an older gentleman, I was also worried there may be no hair under there. I’m not shallow, and looks are not everything to me. But, if he was balding without shaving his head, I wasn’t sure I could deal with that. (Smiles shaved his head and I was obviously okay with that).

We talked about our upbringings. He lived a bicoastal lifestyle, living in California and South Carolina. He also was shipped off to boarding school in Switzerland, where his grandparents lived. I grew up on a farm and went to public school. We had quite the education/socio-economic divide before. This is one thing I‘m not sure I am capable of getting past. I’m sure if it was the right guy, I could handle him coming from wealth, but it’s something that makes me quite uneasy. He came from money, and a lot of it.

I also learned he leads a very lavish lifestyle. He told me about his plans to purchase a house in Barcelona. He’d recently traveled there to scope out some places. He also told me about the $200,000.00 loan he gave a friend and was never paid back because the friend died and left his only possession, his apartment, to someone else. He told me about his lavish trips to the Caribbean islands recently. The list goes on.

Ironically enough, he wasn’t talking about all these because he was trying to impress me (Or at least it didn’t come off that way, which is fine). It simply came up in conversation or I coaxed them out with questions. I just felt uncomfortable with our socio-economic differences. I don’t really aspire to the position of kept man. I want someone who will share the financial burdens with me equally. I know a lot of people would love to find someone rich to marry, but money means very little to me when it comes to love. I think like I would constantly feel like less of a man if I had everything provided for me constantly, and I contributed far less to the relationship. Maybe this is something I will learn to get over in time, but for now, it makes me uneasy.

I learned how he continued to build his wealth and his professional relationship with a family in Canada. He told me about all the businesses he was involved in, and I started to worry he was another Smiles — Too much on his plate to commit to a real relationship. I also learned he wasn’t out to many people in his life, even after he’d been in a nine-year relationship with a man who left his wife for him. It ended when the man cheated on him while he was away on business. I wasn’t sure how I felt about him still being in the closet. He’d experienced too much and was far too old to still be in denial of his true self. I wasn’t sure I wanted a “project” at that age.

Drinks quickly turned into dinner. We stayed at the bar and made friends with the waitress. She was super sweet and very interested in chatting with us. Over our meal, we conversed more, and I learned we share a lot of the same morals and interests. We had similar outlooks in life.

He also became much more physical as the night progressed. He constantly had his hand on my leg rubbing my thighs and caressing the back of my knee. I started to do the same. Periodically, he would stand and give me a big ol’ bear hug. It was sweet. I liked knowing he was a passionate physical man. I needed that after Smiles constant distance.

Six hours later, we were ready to leave the bar. He decided to walk me to the bus. I thought when we exited the restaurant we’d exchange a kiss and go our separate ways. He was a true gentleman and walked me to the Port Authority. Not only that, but he walked me to my gate to wait for my bus and stood there waiting with me. It was midnight, and he was being a total sweetheart. He stood anxiously next to me as if he didn’t know what to do or how to close the date. He wasn’t really out, so I had a feeling a goodnight kiss in front of a large group of strangers was out of the question. When my bus arrived, he said goodbye and we agreed to be in touch.

As I rode home from the date, I wasn’t entirely sure what I thought of him. He became more attractive as the night went on, but I wasn’t sure if that was his personality or the alcohol stepping in for average looks.

I had a lot to think about. It was clear to me he was interested in me. The next day, he texted to see if I was interested in catching a movie that evening. I told him I had plans to hang with friends locally, but if they fell through, I’d let him know. When I decided to keep my plans, I texted him to let him know. He wasn’t all that concerned considering he had hopped on a flight to Boston to hang out with friends and go to a party. Yup, hopped on a flight that day. He obviously didn’t have a planned flight considering he asked me to go to the movies — Unless he was planning to fly me to Boston to do so…

That night, while out with my friends, I called Boston. He told me some of his new exciting war stories, and I told him of my trepidations about Deep Pockets. He told me I was nuts to write him off based on financial differences, so I decided to see where things went over the next week or so.

We texted a few times more, but interest wasn’t strong on either end as the text messages slowly came to an end. I was on to the next prospect…

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Bradley Cooper?

Welcome to Fast-Forward Fridays!!!

For a limited time only, I’m trying something new. After receiving many requests to bring the blog closer to real-time, I have decided to start releasing two posts on Friday. I hope you like the new addition. Scroll to the previous post below to keep up to date with the story. Keep your eyes open for new and exciting things to come…

On with this special edition of One Gay At A Time…

Wednesday morning I dropped Smiles off at the airport. I felt like a chauffeur considering the goodbye I received at the curb.

After running my errands, I was home alone with my thoughts. My good friend, A proposed we hang out, and I jumped at the opportunity. She was passing through Hoboken to the city since a coworker was giving her a ride. It would be a great distraction, and I needed to catch her up since the last time we chatted, I was in need of the “where are we” conversation.

She arrived at my apartment, and I made us dirty martinis because we were both due for a good stiff drink. She proposed we go out for dinner, and I agreed since I wasn’t in the mood to cook food. A suggested we go there to Cucharamama. I’d never been, but I’d heard some great things, so I was on-board.

We walked the few blocks to the restaurant in the drizzling rain and got a nice table in the back of the restaurant. It was cozy and warm, and I was happy to be out of the bad weather. We sat and she told me about how things are with her boyfriend.

A month or so ago, she’d told me about the communication problems they had shortly after moving in together. Apparently, things had greatly improved and they seemed to be finding their groove. I was happy for her.

My relationship was taking a different direction. I told her about the conversation we had the night before. I told her everything he said when I asked him where we stood as a couple. A was already skeptical going in. When I last told her how I was feeling about things, she told me it was time to move on. She didn’t think he was right for me. She told me, “You need someone who will worship you. You need someone who is as into you as you are them because you as so giving in a relationship.”

She was kinda right, but I was still going to give him a chance. It wasn’t like I was blissfully unaware of our issues, but I wasn’t willing to turn my back on him because of it.

After I told her my feelings and thoughts on my current situation with Smiles, she agreed with my plans to proceed. I told her I was going to continue to date him, but I wasn’t going to close myself off to other possibilities should they come my way. I wasn’t going to completely throw myself out there and jump back on adam4adam.com or Grindr, but I also was going to be open to possibilities. I knew I deserved better, and so did she. I was going to give him a short window of time to prove he was going to treat me better, but if that window closed, I was ready to move on. There was no reason for me to immediately drop Smiles. I had no other prospects lined up. Why not give him a chance.

Then the conversation switched to men and women in general. We talked about emotions and dating. The topics of masculinity and femininity came up, and we exchanged our opinions on both. It was a very friendly debate, and I really enjoyed and appreciated the time with her. If there was a time I needed her, it was then. We ordered glasses of wine and a few appetizers and main courses and shared all of them. All the food was great, but the company really made the night. I needed someone to talk to about what was going on in my love-life, but I also needed someone who wouldn’t let me dwell on it and change the subject after we’d discussed it at length.

I wasn’t even thinking about Smiles by the time the check came. And, because my friend A is overly generous, she would not let me pay for dinner. She paid the entire bill. She wouldn’t even let me pay the tip. If anything, I should have been paying for it since she was helping me and giving me what I needed. She gave me the confidence boost I needed to realize what is best for me and seek it out.

I needed to return my friend’s keys since I borrowed his car to take Smiles to the airport, so I said goodbye to A at the restaurant with a hearty hug and went in the other direction towards his apartment. I returned his keys and stayed to chat a bit before heading home for the night.

My roommate was at trivia that night, and it was a block from my friend’s apartment. So, I joined him for the close of the night. Ironically, the host of trivia was Adam from Big Brother. I’m quite a fan of the show, so I chatted him up a bit about what it was like to live in the house. I’d love to be on that show, and I think I’d clean up.

When I got home, I was bored and a little horny. I decided to hop on manroulette.com. It was usually a good go-to for casual fun and an ego boost. The talent on their wasn’t exactly great, but I managed to find a decent guy to chat with and have some camera fun. He paid me numerous compliments, and I ate them up. He told me I looked great. Over the three months I dated Smiles, I think I got maybe five compliments from him. This guy paid me five in five minutes. I needed it. I often need validation. It’s a defect, but it’s who I am.

When the guy told me I looked like Bradley Cooper, I questioned him. I thought he was just stroking my ego to keep me interested in him, but when I questioned him on it, he insisted. I’d heard that in the past, but for some reason he made me start to believe it. I really needed that.

The time came to end my chat with my new online friend and get ready for bed. I realized I hadn’t heard from Smiles all day. He was probably settling in with his family, but he also told me he’d call me later that night when I dropped him at the airport. I was disappointed. He wasn’t exactly winning my affections already. I laid there as my mind struggled with what to do. I wasn’t sure how to proceed, but it certainly would be with caution.

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