Posts Tagged church
Juggling Act
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on February 27, 2012
Over the course of time, I began talking to a guy who’d been in and out of my life for almost a year. I think I started talking to him on Grindr first. We then found each other on adam4adam.com. Finally, we became Facebook friends.
You would think with all this contact, we’d be best friends or lovers by now, but that wasn’t the case. Whenever I was between guys I was dating, I would once again hit him up. He was very attractive and seemed to have a very level head on his shoulders. I really wanted to get to know him better, but I got the feeling I was going to have to pursue this one. I wasn’t going to win him over overnight.
For some reason, this time around was a little different. He was much more receptive to my advances. When the conversation would die down, I would prod him about losing interest. He would deny it and pay a lot of attention to me. He was constantly asking for me to send him pictures of myself and sending me compliments. It was nice to have a man tell me I was attractive.
We spent many evenings chatting on a4a and Facebook. I got to know a lot about his sexual side through those conversations. They would start innocently enough about our typical lives and somehow they’d always segue into our sex lives/desires. I was okay with this because I wanted a good man with a healthy sexual appetite. This was something I’d come to learn as of late. I needed to stop sacrificing good sex for a decent guy. I needed both.
I was also trying to juggle him in with the other guys on my roster. It is always such a challenge to get gay men to commit to anything. They never seem to want to be locked down to anything. I would schedule a date, and sure enough they’d always cancel or postpone. I was really getting tired of flakes running my social life. When my Friday night date cancelled, I tried to see if he was free for a drink.
I wasn’t able to meet him when he was free. He already had plans to go to Sugarland, a gay club in Brooklyn with a friend. He reported to me about his night with texts and pictures. Apparently he wasn’t having the best time and told me it was “Indian night.” Not his cup of tea. Since we couldn’t meet on Friday, we agreed to try for Saturday night.
It was going to be tough however. I was supposed to be attending my sister’s birthday gathering at a local bar. He had plans to go into the city. We agreed to try to meet up later, but who knew if that would come to fruition. He said, “I may head into the city, but we’ll both probably be out late… Let’s keep in touch and see where we are at later.” Of course, we’d never find each other that night. He still insists he sent me text messages to meet up, but I never received them.
Instead, when I got home, I texted my new “friend with benefits” to come by. I even volunteered to let him spend the night so he wouldn’t have to walk in the cold. He agreed and came by.
We had a great night together. He was really a passionate lover. It’s too bad he was so old. Instead, we’d simply just take care of each other’s physical needs.
At 6am, we woke and fooled around some more. Again, we never had sex because we are both tops, but he did mention the possibly of bottoming for me in the future.
At 8:30, he left to go home to get ready for church. I stayed in my bed and went back to sleep.
When I woke up later, I told him and my new southern friend about my upcoming work trip and how I really wanted to meet them before I went away. The southerner had to pass because he was helping move a good friend into her apartment. We agreed to grab dinner Monday, Martin Luther King Day in the evening. Hopefully this date would finally come to fruition…
Follow @onegayatatimeAnddd a Milkshake
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on January 9, 2012
I want to share a video I came across from a fellow blogger. He’s pretty amazing, and I’m sure many of you have seen his videos before. He’s also exceptionally easy on the eyes. I would love to “hang out” with him and come up with something we can both blog about 😉
Anyway. I digress. Here is one of his video posts I found really funny and relatable.
Back to our regularly scheduled program:
Sunday arrived. My parents and I woke and went to church. Unbeknownst to them, I hadn’t gone in a while. However, since I moved to a new part of town, we would be going to a new church.
At mass, I immediately noticed something about the priest at the Catholic church closest to my new apartment. He was young. And, he was hot! He certainly was going to have my attention throughout the mass.
I know it’s terrible to objectify a priest, but I couldn’t help myself. He was kinda dreamy and very down-to-earth.
As I was leaving the church, I shook his hand. He did a double-take as I walked away. I think he recognized a young person in his congregation who he’d never seen before.
Nothing would ever happen there, but it could still be motivation for me to attend mass in the future.
After church, the whole family went out for breakfast. We met my sister at the restaurant and had a very nice morning. While we waited for our table, I took the opportunity to talk to my mom more about Smiles. I even showed her a few pictures. We had a nice casual conversation.
Following breakfast, my dad helped me with a few last-minute needs before they got on the road home. I was very appreciative for everything they did for me all weekend, and I wished them safe travels.
After they left, I still had my work cut out for me. I went shopping to get a majority of the supplies I would need for my holiday party and went to bed.
While shopping, Smiles texted, “Hey. How’s your day been?” I decided to pick up the phone and call him. I really missed him. We talked a bit, but he was watching TV, and I was shopping. I continued to text and picture message him in all my travels around New Jersey for party supplies and groceries. He was “being a fat girl with a pint of ice cream and Vampire Diaries. I was originally going to bring him ice cream when I brought him the soup, but I never had time to get it for him. “Glad to hear you found it on your own,” I told him.
When Monday arrived, I was anxious to see Smiles. It’d been some time since I had any one-on-one time with him. That would have to wait. I had this obligation called a job to take care of first.
When I was finishing up at the office, I texted Smiles to make sure he was coming to my holiday party. He was the only one who hadn’t RSVPed yet. I also called to see if he was home. I wanted to come by and see him. He was home and told me to come over for dinner.
I arrived and gave him a gentle hug. I really missed him and was happy to see he was doing alright. He wanted sushi, and I was certainly fine with that, so we placed our order. He’d been getting into Vampire Diaries, so he informed me we’d be watching that. I was fine with that because I was just happy to get to be with him.
It turned out to be a very nice night together. We were enjoying the show together, and he was taking the time to catch me up when necessary. He’d been putting a serious dent in the soup I made for him as well.
When we finished eating, he had a hankering for dessert. Surprise, surprise. The man has quite the sweet tooth. He wanted a milkshake. I learned there was a place around the corner who had them, Kool Bloo, so we looked them up online. He decided what he wanted, and I ran out to get us milkshakes and dessert.
I’m not exactly sure why, but I also bought us a slice of cheesecake. That would end up in the fridge for him to eat at a later time. We both enjoyed our milkshakes, even though we couldn’t find a difference between the two considering we ordered different flavors.
It was getting late, and I didn’t plan on spending the night. One episode was ending, so I made that my cue to make my way home. This was the first time I set the timetable for my departure. Usually, he was the one who indicated when it was time for me to leave. It was a nice change.
“Addicted!!!!” he texted as I walked home. Apparently he got himself into a few more episodes of Vampire Diaries after I left. I simply responded, “LOL! 😉 .”
Delighted with the night and the fact I got to see him, I went to bed a happy man.
Follow @onegayatatimeLosing My Religion
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on June 7, 2011
Religion is a very important aspect of life for my family. I was raised Catholic and went to mass every Sunday. When I was in high school, I was recruited to be a Eucharistic minister (the person who hands out the communion and the wine at mass). Ironically, as a kid, my mother asked if I wanted to be an alter boy but was quite happy when I declined out of slight fear of a pedophilic priest. In CCD, I was such a religious scholar, other in the class called me “God boy.”
My religious beliefs were part of the reason I struggled with my homosexuality for so long. I had faith in God, and I thought he was testing me. I took it at face value that homosexuality was wrong. The Bible teaches against it, and I have always been taught it was a sin. It was a burden I would have to bear the rest of my life or somehow manage to overcome.
I moved into an apartment my sophomore year of college on a Sunday. I was particularly busy, and I rationalized an excuse for not attending mass. After that, I stopped going to mass every week and believed if I had faith in God and was a moral person, I no longer needed a weekly dose of church. I went when I felt I needed the extra help or when I simply missed the ritual. As I was becoming an adult, I began to own my religion. I’m certainly not as devout a Catholic as my grandmother was. I am a cafeteria Catholic. I pick and choose what aspects of the religion I want to follow.
One of my best friends from college is my freshmen year mentor. He is a Marist Brother, a Catholic congregation dedicated to the Christian education of young people. We have shared a strong bond since I met him and continue to do so. I haven’t yet figured out how to break my news to him or how he’ll take it. I’m not afraid he’ll judge me or anything of the sort. He cares a lot about me and always inquires about my mental, physical and spiritual health. I just need an opportunity to have a heart-to-heart with him. However, he’s like a grandfather to me, so it’s almost as stressful as it was telling my parents.
In my adult life post-graduation, I made every attempt to go to mass weekly. My friends and I went as a group and cooked dinner for each other following services. Ironically enough, dinner was when the gossip about our sex lives flowed freely (mine was nearly non-existent and still with women). When others started falling off from the group, so did I. Once again, I was responsible for my religion, not a priest.
I started having doubts in the Catholic religion when I began to come to the terms with my homosexuality. After I met Broadway, I had a conversation (one-sided of course) with God. Ironically enough, I never felt so close to God as I did in that moment. I simply laid on my bed, and thanked him aloud for allowing me to finally feel comfortable with my true self. I realized being gay was not a choice, not a sin and simply a part of who I am. God loves me regardless. I finally stopped resenting that part of me.
While I have come closer to God through that experience, I’ve become more disenfranchised with the Catholic Church. Who wants to be part of an organization that doesn’t accept him or her? Their congregation has evolved over the years, but the Church has not. Any organism that can’t evolve becomes extinct, and the Catholicism is slowly shrinking in numbers.
Some days I think about marriage. I think about the idea of marriage I once had in my head and how that idea has evolved. Sadly, I will never be married in the eyes of the Church, let alone the state. Honestly, that saddens me greatly. I believe strongly in the sanctity of marriage, even if that marriage is not in the traditional husband and wife. When I make that commitment to a man, it will be ironclad, but it will still be incomplete without the recognition of a congregation of believers.
My belief in God will never wane, but my faith in my fellow man is tested every day. One day, I hope all will be accepting of homosexuals as equals, but until then my relationship with God will have to be exclusive.
There’s nothin’ wrong with lovin’ who you are she said, ” ’cause he made you perfect, babe.” So hold you head, girl, and you’ll go far. Listen to me when I say, “I beautiful in my way, ’cause God makes no mistakes. I’m on the right track baby. I was born this way. Don’t hide yourself in regret. Just love yourself and you’re set. I’m on the right track baby. I was born this way.”
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