Posts Tagged studying
Today is another Fast Forward Friday!!!
Hope you are enjoying these. It will help bring the blog a little closer to real-time. If you’re keeping up with the stories chronologically, please skip down to this morning’s post first, then read this one. I think it’s a good one! Enjoy!
Back to your special edition of One Gay At A Time…
Saturday had arrived, and it was St. Patty’s Day. I was out early in the morning to hit up the gym. I wasn’t going to find myself wasting another day lying around my apartment looking for sex. It was the true start to my staycation and to the new me. It was gorgeous outside, and I was motivated.
As I left the gym, I ran into K and one of my other friends. They were heading into the city to drink, but I wasn’t interested. I’d just come from the gym. I’m not a fan of day drinking to begin with. I said goodbye and continued on my way home. D’s girlfriend was up from Philly that weekend, so I texted them to see what they were up to. They were grabbing brunch and had no plans for the rest of the day. I told them I was bored and lonely, and if they thought of anything, I’d be game. I also called my old roommate to see what he was up to. He was studying for yet another test he had to take for work. I knew it was useless to try to convince him to do anything else.
Finally, D and his girlfriend decided to swing by. They came up, and we just lounged around chatting. She’d never been to my apartment before, so I showed her around. After some time, we decided to go for a drive and check some new cars for D to possibly lease. I was game, so we made our way uptown in the great weather to D’s car.
We decided to drive around Jersey City since there were a few nice neighborhoods I’d never explored. I was a bit curious, and the other two were as well. I also wanted to scope out a spot I had in mind for dinner that night with the guy I spoke to on the phone for two hours, Travel Agent. We drove by the cute cafe on the corner in an upscale neighborhood of Jersey City, The Hamilton Inn. I’d seen it a few times before and had been curious how it was. I pulled up the menu on my phone and suggested the idea to T.A.
He was still working, but he said it sounded like a good idea. We planned to work out the rest of the logistics later.
We drove around for quite a bit more before finally returning to Hoboken. They dropped me off at home. I hopped in the shower and began to get ready for the evening with T.A. I’d been texting him a bit and made a reservation at the restaurant for 7:00. When he told me it’d have to be later, I called and changed the reservation for 8:30. When the time came, he picked me up in his nice Audi. He was a good-looking guy. He wasn’t someone you’d stop on the street and say, “Damn!” but he was good-looking. We jumped right into conversation. It was fairly relaxed. I feel he may have been slightly uptight, but I tried to remain candid and relaxed.
The Hamilton was exactly what I was hoping for. It had a decent crowd, the food looked and smelled amazing, and we got a nice table to sit and chat with each other. The obvious and easy thing to decide was to order a bottle of Malbec to share. I still couldn’t help feeling he was uneasy about things. He just didn’t seem to relax. I tried to lighten things up and asked if he wanted to split an appetizer. He agreed, but it wasn’t terribly easy to pick something. He defaulted to me, and after discussing it, I finally decided on the pierogies with goat cheese appetizer.
We began by talking about where we grew up in more detail than we discussed on the phone. The conversation shifted to our jobs. I got to learn in greater detail what he does. I told him about my job, and slowly I began to realize I was monopolizing the conversation. He’d ask me a question, and I’d answer in detail. When I’d ask him questions, his answers would be short. I wanted to get to know him. He seemed like a decent guy.
We talked some more until our food arrived. Or should I say, I talked some more. I would never say it was a bad date, but I would also not say it was a great one either. We shared some of our meals with the other. It was a nice time. I was enjoying his company, and the food was delicious. I was looking forward to a second date so we could think of something more relaxed to do. Hopefully that would break him out of his shell.
We declined dessert since he had to get home because he had a big work project the following day. He expressed to me how much he enjoyed the date. I was happy to hear it. We split the tab and made our way back to his car. On the way back to my apartment, we passed another restaurant I was interested in trying. I mentioned it to him, and he said, “Maybe next time we should try there.” That was a very hopeful statement. If he was already thinking about next time, maybe he really did enjoy it too.
We stopped in front of my apartment, and he put the car in park. He leaned over and gave me a kiss. I pulled back and went in for a second. It was nice, and I wanted him to know I was interested. I told him, “Call me when you’re back from Mexico. Or, you can text/call whenever you like,” with a smile as I exited the car. He told me we’d be in touch.
After that, I heard nothing from him. He clearly stated his enjoyment and mentioned a second date. How was I not supposed to think he was interested? I sent him a text to tell him of my good time with him, but I got no response. I checked Grindr, and sure enough, he was online. Clearly he was ignoring me. I messaged him on Grindr as well. When a day passed and I heard nothing back, I decided he would either deny this or the “relationship” would be dead before it began. “I hope you’re not ignoring me. I thought you were a classier guy than that.” He had given me two different phone numbers, so I asked if I was texting the wrong number. Finally, he responds explaining he was busy and apologized. He told me he was interested in seeing me again as well.
However, after that, I didn’t hear from him again. I know when I’m not particularly interested in a guy, I don’t outright tell him that. However, I don’t talk to him about future dates to lead him on. It was very disappointing, but I wasn’t going to let one guy get me down. My Grindr diet was slowly working. I was back to concentrating on dates and not sex. Hopefully, with enough time, I’d find a good guy to settle down with — Someone to be the reason I delete Grindr forever…Follow @onegayatatime
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After I learned my lesson with cheap haircuts and learned how much more I can spend on top of the original cost to have them fixed, I decided to pay more attention to who was cutting my hair.
The opportunity arose for me to purchase a Living Social for the New York Shaving Company for a haircut, a shave and free shaving cream for $36. I jumped at it because I was about due for a cut. My hair had grown in considerably since Smiles and I had the barber fix it in Brooklyn. The location of this establishment was also an added bonus — Not far from Smiles’ apartment.
I decided to get a new cut before New Year’s Eve, so I made an appointment for Wednesday night following work. I figured I would get cleaned up and then visit Smiles before heading home for the night. We’d texted during the day and I told him of my plan to get a cut and shave and told him I would try to swing by after since I was in the neighborhood.
I have to say, I was really impressed with the place and they did a great job. I was quite uneasy with the cut immediately following because it was so short. It was shorter than the last time, which was a bit of a change for me to get used to. Now I was going even further. It also made me realize the chill outside since I was far less insulated from the bitter cold that night.
As I walked through the streets of SoHo carrying a side table in a large box I’d ordered and shipped to work, I pulled out my cellphone and called Smiles to see if he was home. My hand and face froze in the bitter cold as we I waited for the phone to ring, but I got no answer. After two short rings, it went to voicemail. I knew he’d “sidebarred” me.
However, I was upset for not, because a minute later, he called me back. He apologized for hitting the wrong button when picking up the phone. He was trying to run around to get ready because he was meeting a friend for drinks. I tried to see if he’d be home for another five minutes, even if all I got to do was say hi and give him a kiss, but alas, he was already running late. I was disappointed I wouldn’t get to see him. He did promise to call me later that night before going to bed.
I course corrected for the PATH and made my way back to Hoboken, but not before texting a few other friends to see if they’d meet me for dinner at the Village Pourhouse in Hoboken. I had a Groupon I needed to use up, and it was late. I didn’t want to go home and cook dinner. I also didn’t want to be alone. After not getting to see Smiles, I felt a little lonely.
I quickly stopped home and dropped off the table. I said hello and goodbye to my roommates and made my way to the Pourhouse. D and K decided to come meet me for dinner. It was nice to see them and catch up. I hadn’t seen them in some time.
After dinner, I went home and watched TV. The time came for me to go to bed, but it would be without a phone call from Smiles.
I went to work the next day and learned Smiles was attending the opera that morning from his Facebook status. Considering he took me to the opera a few weeks earlier, I was curious who he was there with. I started to become suspicious, but I had no grounds.
Then I felt quite guilty when he called me during intermission to see if I was available to step away from “work” to grab lunch. I was thrilled. He never did this sort of unplanned thing. I told him it wouldn’t be an issue at all, and we picked a place to meet. It looked like my prayers of him finally asking me on a date were answered.
I decided to take him to Kyo Chon. I’d gone there before on a friendly lunch with a guy I’d met on Grindr and rather enjoyed it. It wasn’t that great this time around. I could tell Smiles wasn’t all that happy with it either. His wings were a little hotter than he could handle. He started sweating in front of me.
After we finished out lunch, Smiles was on the lookout for ice cream. He pulled out his phone to search for it. We walked to a Baskin Robins, but he wasn’t thrilled with the idea. I told him about the Ben & Jerry’s in Macy’s Herald Square, and he was much more content with the idea of that as long as time allowed for me to continue to be away from work.
I took him on a mini tour of Macy’s after we got ice cream to scope out some of the areas. I’d always liked the 1½ floor there. It’s the “designer” floor, and the people there have always taken great care of me, acting almost as a personal shopper. He was turning his nose up at the commercialism of it as if they weren’t “real” designers. I don’t buy all my clothes there, but to me, all I needed was the Ralph Lauren section to keep me happy.
Smiles was talking about his need to revisit his energy specialist, but he was debating whether to go home and go later because he needed a nap. He called to see the hours and learned he’d have to kill an hour somewhere or come back up to midtown later. I invited him to come up to my office to kill time. I wanted to show him our penthouse in the shadow of the Empire State Building, but he had decided on the nap.
I said goodbye to him and he hopped on the subway south.
That night I went out with friends. I thought about Smiles while at the bar and decided to text him, but got no response. I was being a good wingman to a friend that night, so I concentrated my efforts on that.
He texted me back in the am to tell me he stayed in for the night studying. He planned to go shopping for the day, and I didn’t hear from him for the rest of the day. I called him because I wanted to discuss our plans for New Years, but I got no answer. We messaged each other on Facebook briefly that night to tell me he was going out with a friend. I still didn’t know quite what we were going to be doing to close 2011. I didn’t need to know for any reason, but I was curious what was in the plans.
This was another night he’d be going out with his friends and I mine. I started to think about that. He’d never invited me out for his boys’ night out. He never asked about my nights out in Hoboken with my friends. If we were in a relationship, we’d be meeting each other’s friends at this point, but that wasn’t the case. It seems we weren’t in a relationship at all. All the pieces were coming together, but I wouldn’t get the final piece until New Year’s Eve. That would be my gauge on how to proceed. It appeared my timeline had a new distinct end. Or would it be a beginning?Follow @onegayatatime
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At the ripe age of 26, I came to a life changing conclusion. I'm GAY!
It took me 26 years to realize this and come to terms with it, but coming out's been the best decision of my life.
This blog is about my dating life in NYC and what happens next...
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