Posts Tagged sunshine

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After an arduous morning dealing with a nasty hangover and an overly energetic Hip, CK and I managed to finally emerge from our hibernation. But, not before we washed away the stink from the night before.

CK and I have been saving the planet for months now. Whenever we showered, we conserved water by showering together. We helped each other ensure all our crevices were clean. We brushed our teeth and got ready to face the world outside.

We decided to head toward Central Park, but we never quite made it there. Put an establishment like Shake Shack in front of three hungover guys who love to eat, and the rest of the world disappears immediately. We hopped in line and discussed at length all the food we were going to consume. Shakes, fries, burgers… The works! As we were paying, CK suggested we take our food to go and enjoy it outside. Hip and I agreed. When our food was ready we grabbed our shakes and sucked them down like someone might steal them.

We were out the door headed straight to Rockefeller Center. It was actually shaping up to be a nice day. We sat on the benches in front of 30 Rock Center and watched the tourists while we ate. In true CK fashion, he found a group of Spanish-speaking women who were visiting and needed help getting everyone in the group shot. I was simply happy to be out and about in the sunshine rather than being cooped up in CK’s apartment. It was a good distraction. Surprisingly, it was actually helping me get over my massive hangover. That, and the greasy burger and fries and a milkshake. While I was slowly getting over my hangover, I wasn’t quite getting over the night before. I suppose I was putting on a decent face, but deep down inside, I was hurting. I was appalled by how CK treated me after dating for three months.

When we finished eating, CK explored all of Rockefeller Center taking pictures as he moved along. Hip recently had hip replacement surgery, and he was starting to feel it. I kept him company as we sat playing Where’s Waldo in the crowd of people to find CK. When he circled back around, I hinted to him that we should go so Hip could get off his feet. He still had to head back to Brooklyn as well.

On the walk home, CK proposed we try to go to the concert again. I wasn’t so sure I was up for it. I told him we’d discuss it when Hip left since he already expressed his lack of interest in trying to go again.

When it was just the two of us again, we discussed things. Like I said, I still wasn’t quite over the night before, even if we did discuss it that morning and fooled around. When I got it all off my chest, we discussed the concert that night. CK was scheming to get in some way, shape or form. He was hoping to sweet-talk the ticket collectors into letting us in. I told him I would go, but I made no promises how long I would stay, and in full disclosure, I told him I certainly wouldn’t be the most energetic with the effects of my hangover still lingering.

We got ready and made our way to Terminal 5. When we got to the door, CK did all the talking, but it was no use. They weren’t feeling sympathetic at all. The person in line behind us, however, was. While CK was busy sweet-talking, I began chatting with the guy behind us in line. He asked if we needed tickets, and when I explained what happened, he offered us his two extra tickets at no charge. CK was still arguing with the ticket collectors when I finally got him to shut up. I handed them our tickets, and we walked in the door. CK had the most confused look on his face as I explained what happened. We immediately thanked the guy in line over and over and over again. It was truly a generous gesture — A serendipitous moment.

We made our way inside and both grabbed waters from the bar before finding a spot to watch the concert amongst the crowd. Our luck was really turning around, and CK was being extra sweet. It was like night and day from the previous night. I think it was then that I was beginning to forgive him.

When the concert started, I got a little more energy from the crowd. I suppose it was a little infectious. We danced shirtless and laughed and had a good time. Scissor Sisters really do put on a good show. They’re one of the most genuine bands I’ve ever seen perform. You could tell they were having as much fun as the crowd was. This was the final night on the final stop of their tour, and they played it out. There were even points where CK was on my shoulders with me jumping up and down. At one point, CK cut through the crowd like a razor to get to the stage as Jake Shears began crowd-surfing. He came back incredibly excited he touched his hand.

Throughout the night, there were guys aggressively grinding up on my a$$, but I ignored them. However, they started getting a bit more aggressive and overt. I didn’t need this. I was there with my man, and this was quite obvious for all to see. I gently pushed back and then took a big step forward so they could clumsily lose their balance and fall backward. After a few rounds of this, they got the hint I wasn’t interested nor a poll to rub their a$$ on.

At one point, I noticed the assistant of the guy I dated ever so briefly before meeting CK. It was a bit awkward after all. Things didn’t exactly end on good terms there. I avoided eye contact, but as he was leaving, he stopped to say hi. Surprisingly, it wasn’t awkward at all. I was glad to see he could separate himself from his boss’s issues. That being said, Monday morning, I’m sure he was right back at the office saying, “You’ll never believe who I saw last night!”

When the concert was over, CK was raring to go and wanted to go to a bar. I was spent. I barely made it through the whole concert. I could tell he was disappointed, but he did a good job of hiding it as he took me home. I was happy to see the CK I knew and fell in love with again. When we got back to his place, I was still feeling a bit of the infectious energy from the crowd, and CK was still in concert mode. We stripped down to get ready for bed, but instead of falling asleep, we had the most epic sex we’d ever had to date. It was incredible! It was exactly what we needed. All our frustrations and cares were gone. It was a bit mind-blowing. It was passionate love-making at its best. It was all there, and I was truly happy again.

After our epic romp in the sheets, it was time for bed. We had plans for the following day, and we both had a very long and eventful weekend already. With that, we turned out the lights, and I fell asleep with CK nestled in my arms.

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Sunshine and Smiles

Before you jump into today’s post, I’d like to bring to your attention a story a reader shared with me last night. Being the hopeless romantic I am, I was so touched by their story. Check it out here.

Back to our regularly schedule program:

When CK and I got home after a long night out on the town, we argued about the timing of the following morning. I was insistent we would keep our plans, or I would leave him behind. I wasn’t going to flake on Boston because he wanted to stay out at the bar that night. I realized we weren’t making much progress, and we were only staying up longer by arguing, so I set my alarm and climbed into bed.

The next day, I woke up and started reaching out to Boston. Much to my chagrin, he wasn’t responding. I tried over and over and over again via text and phone, but still no response. I’d already managed to get CK up, and he was being incredibly cooperative considering how early it was and how little sleep we got. I wasn’t happy because I got in an argument with CK over this, and now Boston was flaking on me. I was trying so hard to salvage this so CK wouldn’t flip out on me when I told him Boston wasn’t responding. I hit up Hip to see if he’d be interested in the beach. It’d been some time since we hung out, and I thought it would make CK much happier to have one of his friends there. I asked D and his girlfriend if they wanted to join us at the beach, and surprisingly, they were in. They would just be joining us a little later. I also reached out to my sister, and I learned she was driving out to the beach. We were planning to take the train, but now that Boston was missing in action, I asked her if she would give us a ride. Now, I had to manage the logistics of getting someone from Brooklyn, CK and I in Hell’s Kitchen and my sister coming from Hoboken through midtown coordinated.

CK and I were making great time. We hopped in a cab, and it was looking like we would all get to our meeting point at the same time. I couldn’t have been happier and more stressed. My sister arrived a few minutes before us, and we all piled into her car and were off to the beach. This was the first time my sister met Hip. I had a feeling they would get along since Hip is such a mellow guy and easy to get along with, but in her usual fashion, she took a little warming up. Once she warmed up to him, they were really hitting it off.

As we drove, I texted Boston telling him we were on our way and invited him to join us out there when he and the girl he was staying with got moving for the day, but I had a strong feeling I wasn’t going to see him. About half way out there, he finally called and told me he was way too hungover to come out to the beach. He offered to meet up later that evening, so I told him I would hit him up on my way home.

We arrived at the beach and spread out, taking over a solid chunk of beach. D and his girlfriend were on their way and would be joining us shortly. This day was going so much more smoothly than I ever thought possible. The weather was gorgeous, and we were all having a blast. I was really enjoying being with such a great group. Everyone was relaxed and having fun. We took a picture together, and we all agreed it was the picture of the summer. Now that summer is over, I can testify it was, at least for me.

Later in the day, CK and I decided to go for a jog/walk. It was nice to separate from the group for a little and take a nice stroll. We talked about the night before, and he apologized. He also thanked me for such a great day. The biggest smile grew across my face. I know I was stressed that morning and annoyed how things were playing out, but it was all worth it to have such a fun and carefree day. I was so happy with him. I loved him, and I couldn’t see myself with any other man. He was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

We stopped to take pictures on the rocks of the jetty. This quickly turned into a typical CK photo shoot, which I’m not the most thrilled with. I’m not a fan of having my picture taken because 99% of the time, I hate the results. I don’t like being in the spotlight, but CK does. When I take the pictures of him, I know these pictures will be sorted through as fodder for his Instagram feed. This is yet another account of my attention not being enough. He still needed the attention of his adoring fans. I wasn’t crushed by this. I have thicker skin than that, but it didn’t exactly have a positive effect on my feelings. On top of that, I knew everyone was about ready to go home when we started our walk. I didn’t want to make them wait too long to leave. I tried to be a good sport and shot some pictures of him and even let him snap a few of me, but the time came for me to insist we return to the group.

As we walked back, we passed two hot and I can only assume straight men walking the opposite direction. As we passed, CK not only made a comment regarding their aesthetic, but took the conversation one step further and asked if I would ever entertain the idea of fooling around with another couple (acknowledging a previous unprovoked sentiment I stated expressing my lack of interest in ever bringing another person into our relationship). I immediately started getting very anxious, and my heart sank a little. I was immediately taken back to the previous night with him looking around the bar to see who was looking at him. I was right back to worrying I would not be enough for him. My heart beat started pacing. I immediately and definitively expressed to him my feelings on this, and I think he recognized how worked up this was making me. I told him this was my worry when I finally came out. I didn’t know if I could ever find a man who would settle down with me and give me a “traditional” relationship. I realized that’s not for everyone, but that’s what I wanted. It’s not something I wanted to compromise on, nor do I think it’s something I should budge on. Now, I was worrying if CK was the right man for me.

“This isn’t something I want. I just wanted to know if you would be open to this,” he said. I responded, “If it’s not something you want or you’re interested in, then why did you bring it up? If this is coming up now when everything is fresh and fun, how’s it going to be ten years from now? Will I ever be enough for you?” He started backtracking immediately. He put his hands on my shoulders and said, “Babe, you are who I want. No one else. I was just asking the question, not proposing we do it.” I explained to him how worried I was that it was even brought up.  He managed to calm me down and acknowledged that knowing that was off the table does not make him want to stop dating me. He added, “You have nothing to worry about. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” I was a bit more relaxed, but I was still questioning if I was enough for CK. It had been the theme of many of my past relationships, and I didn’t want to go through that again.

When we got back, we all packed up and headed home. On the ride home, I fell asleep in CK’s lap. Unbeknownst to me, Hip and my sister we’re now like two peas in a pod. They were having so much fun together blasting music and weaving through traffic. D and his girlfriend were following, so when traffic came to a halt, Hip climbed up through the sunroof and started making faces and flailing around at them.

When we got back to the city, my sister dropped the three of us off at CK’s. He needed to pack an overnight bag before we went back to Hoboken for the night. We hung out for a majority of the evening before finally taking the bus to the other side of the Hudson River. Not before getting ice cream, of course. In the end, I didn’t get to hang out with Boston before he left town. It just didn’t work out. Maybe I’d have to wait another year to finally see him.

All in all, it was a great day. I had so much fun hanging with my friend and CK’s friends. It was completely refreshing to see his friends getting along with my friends. It wasn’t all roses and sunshine, however. I was still worried I wasn’t the man CK was looking for. I worried I was looking for him to settle down with me, and he wasn’t quite ready for that. It’s not that I didn’t trust him to not cheat on me so much as worrying we didn’t have the same relationship goals and outlook. Only time would tell if our paths were heading in the same direction.

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Working It Out Around Work

Today is another Fast Forward Friday!!!  

Hope you are enjoying these. It will help bring the blog a little closer to real-time. If you’re keeping up with the stories chronologically, please skip down to this morning’s post first, then read this one. I think it’s a good one! Enjoy!

Back to your special edition of One Gay At A Time…

After a special night in with CK, we woke in the morning to the sound of his alarm at 8:00am. It took him a long time to shut the alarm off, but I was too out of it to rouse him or reach over him to turn it off myself.

When we finally woke, we spent a good portion of the morning snuggling and kissing. He told me how happy he was and smiled. We tickled each other until the other protested enough to warrant stopping. We were constantly expressing our utter joy to each other. Everything he said felt extremely genuine. He always used the term “baby” to refer to me, and it made me melt every time. Either he heard me and was acting on it, or he was an extremely talented actor.

I finally managed to sneak away to hop in the shower. He was in the middle of doing laundry, so he had no clean towels, so he told me to use his on the door. I went into the bathroom. I was not feeling well the entire previous day. I was back to feeling uneasy, and I knew I needed to relieve myself. I did, and I immediately noticed how bad a smell I created. I quickly flushed and did my best to dissipate it. I turned the shower on before sitting down to mask any sounds I would create. Just as I hopped in the shower, CK came into the bathroom to offer me a fresh towel. I was mortified. I was sure he smelled the odor in the air. When he left the bathroom, he left the door open — I’m sure to vent the bathroom. There was nothing I could do about it, so I tried to forget it.

It was humorous because the night before, I was commenting on him burping and how I thought it was sexy. He was certainly masculine. I was tired of all these gay men acting like women. We’d also talked about farting in front of each other when he was at my place and how we were not at that comfort level yet. It came up again in jest while we were wrestling on the bed before my shower. He also playfully joked about picking my nose, but assure me he’d never do that, as well as going to the bathroom with the door opened — Another topic we covered when he was last at my place. It was fun that we could chat about such casual things. It showed me how real he was.

I finished my shower and came back to find him still in bed. I scooped him up and carried him to the shower. I didn’t want to be the reason he would be late. While he showered, he offered me a yogurt for breakfast. I made a few phone calls to shift a doctor’s appointment and ate while he got fresh. He returned to the bedroom and coaxed me to the bed to cuddle more before heading out to work.  “Just two more minutes,” he pleaded. I was fine on time for work. It was him I was worried about. But, if he wasn’t worried, neither was I.

The subway he took was right outside my office, so we walked together. Half way there, we held hands and joked about a few things. “One thing I must say about you. You certainly make me laugh. That you certainly do,” he joked. I was smiling from ear-to-ear. I told him I would try to swing by to see him after I went out to dinner with my team to say goodbye to a coworker. Ironically enough, she was headed to his agency. He would be inheriting one of my favorite coworkers. With that, we kissed each other goodbye. “It’s all downhill from here,” he added.

During the day, I texted him to tell him a funny story about my coworker. I also added, “I had such a good morning. I’m in such a good mood! This morning was perfect.” He responded, “I walked into the office on an invisible carpet of sunshine and rainbows :). ‘You fit me better than my favorite sweater.’ ” I can only assume that was a song lyric.

Later in the day, I had a brilliant idea. “After my dinner tonight, I was planning to swing by and see you and then take a car service home. Do you have any interest in coming home with me tonight to watch Revenge instead? I don’t want you to get tired of me yet, but I thought it would be fun for us.” After a few minutes, my phone lit up with: “Best. Idea. Ever… You. Revenge. Car service. Falling asleep in your arms. And your bed. Waking up with you. And your shower. #heavenly… Enchanted carriage? Check. Castle? Check. Gorgeous, charming and no doubt horny prince? Check.” Once again, he had me smiling from ear-to-ear.

After my work dinner, I made my way to his apartment. I called him to let him know I was on my way. The dinner had lasted longer than expected. It was now close to 11:00. When I got close, he texted me to meet him on the roof. I went up there, but he was nowhere to be seen. As usual, he was running behind.

Finally he joined me on the roof. I gave him a BIG kiss. I told him a little about dinner. He had the idea, since it was supposed to be a full moon (even though we couldn’t see it through the clouds) we could meditate. He was very cute about it. He told me about it in a very roundabout way, almost as if he was embarrassed by it. I told him I would love to do that with him but some other time. I’d already called the car, and I was sure it was already waiting at my office. He was disappointed, but I assured him we would do it another time.

We walked to my office, and I took him up to show him around. I needed to grab my bag. He asked if we could get frisky, but I pointed out the cameras around the office. We made our way back downstairs and headed to Hoboken.

When we got back to my place, we immediately went into my room. We snuggled in bed for quite some time. We were also both quite excited to watch Revenge. We’d planned to watch it together, and I was quite excited.

It was really nice sharing the show with him. I knew how much he liked it, and I enjoyed it as well. I finally had someone to chat with about the show while watching. When it ended, we brushed our teeth, pulled up the covers and dozed off in each other’s arms. I was really starting to get quite used to this!

When we woke in the morning, there were copious amounts of fooling around, but no sex. It was incredible waking up next to him. From what he told me, he felt the same way waking up next to me. We enjoyed spooning and cuddling for a long time before we finally motivated ourselves to get out of bed. This was the first time CK spent the night on a work night. I made us breakfast while he showered.

He joined me in the kitchen to eat, and when I was finished, I hopped in the shower. We both got ready and walked out the door. As we descended the stairs, he pulled me aside to plant a big kiss on me. He commented on this being the first time we spent time together where sex wasn’t involved. “I actually enjoyed that it doesn’t have to always be a requirement. It’s a nice to have. Let’s just not make it a habit,” he said with a laugh.

With that comment, I started to really fall for him. We were on the same page completely. I loved sex with him, but I was actually reassured by the fact we spent the night together and didn’t have sex. It proved to me he wasn’t just into me for sex. Maybe there was something more…

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