Posts Tagged smell
I Never was Good at Sharing
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on September 24, 2012
As gay men, CK and I had been anticipating the release of Magic Mike with bated breath. One Friday night, CK suggested we check it out. When he said we, I assumed he meant just the two of us, but I quickly came to learn we included Old News as well. As long as we were inviting friends, I knew P wanted to see the movie as well, so I reached out to her. This was two-fold because it would also help balance the scale since I wasn’t exactly comfortable with how Old News was with CK. We were all planning to gather in midtown to check out a late showing.
I was meeting CK at his apartment before the movie, and when I arrived, I learned Old News would be meeting us there as well before walking to the theater together. I already couldn’t wait. From the moment Old News arrived, he began schmoozing CK. A friendly greeting with a hug is completely acceptable, but the kiss on the cheek was a little unnecessary. This was no air kiss, and I know because I was behind CK looking right at him as he did it. It probably was not his intent, but I felt it may have been done for my benefit. I didn’t like it — Not one bit. All I could do was stand by and watch this without saying anything. I would have to wait to have a private conversation with CK later.
Of course, he was very cordial toward me, but I couldn’t have cared less. I still had a bad taste left in my mouth from the last time we hung out at XL. That night, I was going to get the answer to a question that arose every time he came around. Was he actually flirting with CK because of lingering feelings, or was I imagining things? I had an advantage that night. I had two sets of eyes on him. I had asked P to watch and tell me if my suspicions were correct.
We met P in front of the theater, and as we took our seats, what transpired next could not have made me happier. It just so happened, as we walked into the theater, the order was Old News, myself, CK and finally P. So, when we sat, I was between Old News and CK, and I was thrilled. When CK and I go to the movies, we’re fairly affectionate in the way we sit. We hold hands or put our arms around each other. I wasn’t going to change that this time, and Old News was about to get a front row seat to this. Maybe he’d realized the CK ship has sailed. He was my man now, and it was time to back off and learn to simply be his friend. Nothing more. Don’t get me wrong. I didn’t want Old News out of the picture completely. He was CK’s friend. I simply wanted him to respect the relationship between CK and I.
The theater was a sh*t show — Like being in an actual strip club. Women were everywhere, shouting and squealing at the screen as they jumped out of their seats in excitement. I was shocked I didn’t see a dollar bill or two go flying in the air.
As we left the theater, Old News commented to us, “Wow! It smells like wet vagina in here! Do you smell that?” I thought the comment was hysterical because he was pretty spot on, but I wasn’t exactly in the frame of mind to laugh at his jokes yet.
We stopped on the corner of the street to discuss what we wanted to do next. None of us had eaten, so food was discussed, but no one would make a decision. Finally, we landed on heading back to CK’s apartment to smoke and hang out.
As we walked down the street, Old News was joking and what I would certainly call flirting with CK. When the opportunity arose, he’d throw an arm around him or pat him on the back. Don’t get me wrong. I’d seen this interaction time and time again with Hip, and I had no problem with it. In fact, I welcomed it. It all seemed completely different with Old News. Old News would draw CK into a conversation, and the two of them continued on as if P and I didn’t exist. At some point, CK noticed I was a bit out of sorts. He hung back with me and asked what’s wrong. I reiterated how I felt Old News was flirting and still had a crush on him. Once again, he told me I was imagining things. I started to get adamant, and I think he finally realized how much this bothered me.
If he was willing to act like this in front of me, what would Old News try to do if I wasn’t around. Like I said, it wasn’t CK I trusted, it was Old News. After chatting for so long, I’m sure he realized something was up. We agreed to talk about it again later and returned back to the other two.
We hung out at CK’s for quite some time, and around 2:00am, we decided to go to Flaming Saddles, and P decided to head home. As I walked her out I asked her what she thought. She agreed he was still flirting, but to a bit of a lesser degree. It was all I needed to confirm I wasn’t being irrational. I thanked her and gave her a hug goodnight. I wasn’t thrilled with the idea of going out since it was already quite late, and we were going to the beach the following morning with Boston and a few others. As our group was shrinking by one, we were also growing by two. CK’s roommate and his assistant joined us. The night was only getting better and better.
When we arrived at Flaming Saddles, no one was there. Instead, we continued on to Industry. It was a good scene, and the good news was that CK and I were dancing. Old News seemed to disappear. However, it wasn’t long before I felt I was beginning to disappear too. I was slowly but surely getting comfortable with going to gay bars, but I was also learning something about CK in gay bars I didn’t exactly appreciate.
When we danced, I never felt like I was dancing with just him. I felt like I was dancing with the entire bar. He danced, and I was tried to dance next to him. He constantly looked around to see who was looking at him, gently touching guys as they passed by him. I never had his full attention. This was only exacerbated when he stepped up on the stage, and I was two steps below him. I felt like I was there with a go-go boy, and I have to admit I was a little crushed. It hurt. Was my attention not enough for him? Did he need the eyes of every other guy in the room? This brought up a lot of worries I’d been having about our relationship. I was worried I wasn’t enough for him, and that was all I wanted.
We ended up closing down the bar at 4:00am. We were all starving, so we foraged for food. We settled on Empanada Mama and grabbed a table outside. They had a packed house, so it took forever for us to get our food. When it finally arrived, everyone dug in. When I went to grab my second empanada, it was gone. I looked across the table and noticed Old News shoveling it into his pie hole. I don’t think he took it on purpose, but it was a perfect picture of my relationship with him. First, he was trying to steal my man. Now, he was stealing my food.
I was already agitated by Old News, but at this point, it was 6:00am and the sun was starting to come up. As the time ticked on, I grew more and more anxious about getting up the next day to follow through on my plans. CK was already so tired he actually fell asleep at the table. It was time to go home and go to bed. We said goodbye and made our way home. While we walked he turned to me and said, “You’re nuts if you think we’re heading to the beach tomorrow at 10:00.” That set me off. I told CK about my plans to go to the beach days prior to this. He should have planned accordingly. This was important to me. I hadn’t seen Boston in over a year. He was completely disregarding my plans, and I was furious. “You’re nuts if you think we’re not.” He looked at me with a confused look.
I explained how upset I was and of course started getting loud. The fact that he remembered the beach plans and completely disregarded them was incredibly demeaning. In doing so, he was telling me that his unplanned fun mattered and my planned day did not. We could have called it quits at any point throughout the night so we could have done a bit of both. Had he brought it up before 6:00am, I probably would have been receptive of a compromise. I would have said we could leave around 11:00 so we could stay out a little later. At this point, after being told I’m nuts, I wasn’t about to give up any ground. I told him I was going, with or without him. I had made plans with a friend visiting from out-of-town, and I wasn’t about to back out because he wanted to stay out all night.
Against the advice of nearly every couple I’ve ever met, that night (or should I say morning) we went to bed angry…
Working It Out Around Work
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on June 8, 2012
Today is another Fast Forward Friday!!!
Hope you are enjoying these. It will help bring the blog a little closer to real-time. If you’re keeping up with the stories chronologically, please skip down to this morning’s post first, then read this one. I think it’s a good one! Enjoy!
Back to your special edition of One Gay At A Time…
After a special night in with CK, we woke in the morning to the sound of his alarm at 8:00am. It took him a long time to shut the alarm off, but I was too out of it to rouse him or reach over him to turn it off myself.
When we finally woke, we spent a good portion of the morning snuggling and kissing. He told me how happy he was and smiled. We tickled each other until the other protested enough to warrant stopping. We were constantly expressing our utter joy to each other. Everything he said felt extremely genuine. He always used the term “baby” to refer to me, and it made me melt every time. Either he heard me and was acting on it, or he was an extremely talented actor.
I finally managed to sneak away to hop in the shower. He was in the middle of doing laundry, so he had no clean towels, so he told me to use his on the door. I went into the bathroom. I was not feeling well the entire previous day. I was back to feeling uneasy, and I knew I needed to relieve myself. I did, and I immediately noticed how bad a smell I created. I quickly flushed and did my best to dissipate it. I turned the shower on before sitting down to mask any sounds I would create. Just as I hopped in the shower, CK came into the bathroom to offer me a fresh towel. I was mortified. I was sure he smelled the odor in the air. When he left the bathroom, he left the door open — I’m sure to vent the bathroom. There was nothing I could do about it, so I tried to forget it.
It was humorous because the night before, I was commenting on him burping and how I thought it was sexy. He was certainly masculine. I was tired of all these gay men acting like women. We’d also talked about farting in front of each other when he was at my place and how we were not at that comfort level yet. It came up again in jest while we were wrestling on the bed before my shower. He also playfully joked about picking my nose, but assure me he’d never do that, as well as going to the bathroom with the door opened — Another topic we covered when he was last at my place. It was fun that we could chat about such casual things. It showed me how real he was.
I finished my shower and came back to find him still in bed. I scooped him up and carried him to the shower. I didn’t want to be the reason he would be late. While he showered, he offered me a yogurt for breakfast. I made a few phone calls to shift a doctor’s appointment and ate while he got fresh. He returned to the bedroom and coaxed me to the bed to cuddle more before heading out to work. “Just two more minutes,” he pleaded. I was fine on time for work. It was him I was worried about. But, if he wasn’t worried, neither was I.
The subway he took was right outside my office, so we walked together. Half way there, we held hands and joked about a few things. “One thing I must say about you. You certainly make me laugh. That you certainly do,” he joked. I was smiling from ear-to-ear. I told him I would try to swing by to see him after I went out to dinner with my team to say goodbye to a coworker. Ironically enough, she was headed to his agency. He would be inheriting one of my favorite coworkers. With that, we kissed each other goodbye. “It’s all downhill from here,” he added.
During the day, I texted him to tell him a funny story about my coworker. I also added, “I had such a good morning. I’m in such a good mood! This morning was perfect.” He responded, “I walked into the office on an invisible carpet of sunshine and rainbows :). ‘You fit me better than my favorite sweater.’ ” I can only assume that was a song lyric.
Later in the day, I had a brilliant idea. “After my dinner tonight, I was planning to swing by and see you and then take a car service home. Do you have any interest in coming home with me tonight to watch Revenge instead? I don’t want you to get tired of me yet, but I thought it would be fun for us.” After a few minutes, my phone lit up with: “Best. Idea. Ever… You. Revenge. Car service. Falling asleep in your arms. And your bed. Waking up with you. And your shower. #heavenly… Enchanted carriage? Check. Castle? Check. Gorgeous, charming and no doubt horny prince? Check.” Once again, he had me smiling from ear-to-ear.
After my work dinner, I made my way to his apartment. I called him to let him know I was on my way. The dinner had lasted longer than expected. It was now close to 11:00. When I got close, he texted me to meet him on the roof. I went up there, but he was nowhere to be seen. As usual, he was running behind.
Finally he joined me on the roof. I gave him a BIG kiss. I told him a little about dinner. He had the idea, since it was supposed to be a full moon (even though we couldn’t see it through the clouds) we could meditate. He was very cute about it. He told me about it in a very roundabout way, almost as if he was embarrassed by it. I told him I would love to do that with him but some other time. I’d already called the car, and I was sure it was already waiting at my office. He was disappointed, but I assured him we would do it another time.
We walked to my office, and I took him up to show him around. I needed to grab my bag. He asked if we could get frisky, but I pointed out the cameras around the office. We made our way back downstairs and headed to Hoboken.
When we got back to my place, we immediately went into my room. We snuggled in bed for quite some time. We were also both quite excited to watch Revenge. We’d planned to watch it together, and I was quite excited.
It was really nice sharing the show with him. I knew how much he liked it, and I enjoyed it as well. I finally had someone to chat with about the show while watching. When it ended, we brushed our teeth, pulled up the covers and dozed off in each other’s arms. I was really starting to get quite used to this!
When we woke in the morning, there were copious amounts of fooling around, but no sex. It was incredible waking up next to him. From what he told me, he felt the same way waking up next to me. We enjoyed spooning and cuddling for a long time before we finally motivated ourselves to get out of bed. This was the first time CK spent the night on a work night. I made us breakfast while he showered.
He joined me in the kitchen to eat, and when I was finished, I hopped in the shower. We both got ready and walked out the door. As we descended the stairs, he pulled me aside to plant a big kiss on me. He commented on this being the first time we spent time together where sex wasn’t involved. “I actually enjoyed that it doesn’t have to always be a requirement. It’s a nice to have. Let’s just not make it a habit,” he said with a laugh.
With that comment, I started to really fall for him. We were on the same page completely. I loved sex with him, but I was actually reassured by the fact we spent the night together and didn’t have sex. It proved to me he wasn’t just into me for sex. Maybe there was something more…Follow @onegayatatime
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on March 6, 2012
My time in San Francisco ended. I was thrilled I finally got to meet the online friend I’d shared so much of my life with over the past two years. We grew much closer in the little time I spent with him. I was already looking forward to the next time I would get to see him.
Early Saturday morning, I made my way to the airport. I was off to Chicago to finish out my week-long work trip. I’ve actually begun to look forward to these plane trips. It’s one of the few times I can sit and concentrate on writing blog entries without any distractions.
As I boarded the plane, I made my way past first class to my standard seat. I was happy to see it was a newer plane with slightly extended leg room. Being 6’2″, flying has become quite uncomfortable these days. I look forward to the day I get an upgrade, but those days seem to happen about once a year, even with status.
I was also thrilled to find I was sitting next to a very good-looking man with a great body. I could tell this guy was no weekend warrior. He spent a lot of time taking care of himself. I was enamored by his square jaw line and cute dimples. He started chatting me up when they announced the upgrade of six passengers to first class. Since we are both larger gentlemen, we jealously talked about their comfort levels with a certain level of “good for them.” I asked him what he does and learned he was a green beret in the Army Special Forces. I scolded him for not making that known. “If you were in uniform, you’d be first in line to get one of those seats!” He was such a nice guy. “It’s cool. I’m fine here,” he replied nonchalantly. It was such a nice change of pace not having to sit next to someone fat who stole half my seat or who smelled and ruined my entire flight.
Apparently, I wasn’t going to get through very much writing on the plane. So much for no distractions. I asked him if he was headed for business or pleasure. He told me he was flying to Brussels for an internship in defense analysis for the next three months. He told me all about what he does and how much he loves doing it. He also took the time to ask me what I do. I was proud to be sitting next to this man. To me, he was bigger than sitting next to a celebrity. I’ve always had a major soft spot for the military service men and women. Not necessarily in a sexual way. Being in the Navy was my grandfather’s proudest accomplishment. I regularly donate to the USO in his memory partly because I know how much it meant to him, but more so because I know what they have to give up to serve our country. I have friends in the service, so I’ve seen first hand what they sacrifice to keep us safe.
Through chatting with him more, I also learned his girlfriend is also in the Air Force. They were both stationed in California while he was finishing up at the Naval Postgraduate School and got to see each other on the weekends. They had it rough. They got to see each other so rarely, my heart really went out to him. We talked a great deal about his relationship and how they make it work. He realized it wasn’t ideal, but they make it work. I admired his convictions. I asked if she’d be coming to visit him while he was abroad in Belgium, but they have yet to determine if it would be worthwhile since he doesn’t know what his leave will be yet.
The more I talked to him, the more I realized how polite, cute, smart and sexy he is. I wanted to be friends with this guy. I wanted to hit up the bar and buy him a beer. It was completely in a non-sexual way too. Since I was young, I’ve craved to have “the guys.” I’ve never had a group of guys I’ve hung out with regularly. And, I’m not talking about a gaggle of gay men either. I’m talking about a group of men, gay or straight, who hung out all the time and were just real. We could rely on each other to have our backs, no matter what. He seemed like a guy who would fit that mold. He was a genuine good guy. I always try to surround myself with individuals like him, but it’s not easy.
When the flight attendant was coming by handing out drinks and asking for food/snack orders, I wanted to buy him one of my favorite United Tapas snack boxes. Had she not asked him before she asked me, I probably would have done it, however, looking back I’m not disappointed it didn’t work out. It may have made him feel awkward or uncomfortable. I just wanted to show my appreciation first-hand for what he does, however, I didn’t want to do it at the expense of his comfort. He probably had no idea I was gay, but some people are uncomfortable taking handouts. I also loved watching him flirt with the flight attendants. He was quite a smooth operator without being overt or corny.
When the plane landed, he proved once again his gentleman status. He was “Mr. Chivalrous” helping all the women with their bags. I glanced over at his boarding pass for his connecting flight to Brussels and caught a glimpse of his rank, Major and his name. He turned to me just before stepping into the aisle and wished me luck on my pitch.
As we exited the plane, I snapped a picture as he walked away (trying not to be creepy!).
When I got to my hotel, I hopped online to see if I could look him up. I wasn’t going to stalk him. I was just curious to know more about him. I found him on LinkedIn and learned more about his educational/occupational background. It is vastly impressive. I resisted the urge to add him as a connection on there and went about my day.
While I was in Chicago, I planned to visit my friend who moved there a few months prior. I hit him up when I landed because I was going to try to meet him for dinner/drinks that evening instead of dining with my coworkers. He replied telling me he had a fever and wouldn’t be able to make it out while I was in town, and we’d connect at a later date.
This was going to truly be a work trip, so I dove in full force to make sure I delivered.
In only somewhat related news…
A photo I came across in my Facebook feed over the past week makes me smile every time I see it. I dove into researching all about it. I am fascinated by it and love the media attention it is receiving. This shouldn’t be getting media attention. It should simply stand on its own as an amazing display of love and affection. But, until homosexuals are treated as equals, I welcome the attention. I hope it inspires you to be more courageous in your life, as it has inspired me.
If you’d like to read the full story of what is happening in these images, click here.Follow @onegayatatime