Posts Tagged BBQ
Following the iPhone debacle of 2011, I couldn’t manage to contact N. I couldn’t exactly walk across the street and buzz at his door either, since his roommates had no idea who I was. But I was a little worried. He was drunk the night before and didn’t come over for his pizza – very unlike him to leave food, but very like him to just pass out somewhere.
I had an epiphany. I hit him up on Facebook. I figured he’d check it at some point since he didn’t have his phone. Midday, he messaged me back and gave me his roommates phone number. He also told me he wouldn’t be around for the day because he was going home for father’s day. I texted him on her phone, and he answered back. He said he was still in Hoboken because he was calling around to cab companies to try to find his phone. I told him I felt sorry for him, and I wish I could do something to help. Shortly after, we spoke on the phone, and I asked him if he wanted to hang out on the pier. He said he’d stop by shortly.
Around 2:00 in the afternoon, I asked him if he was still coming to the pier when I hadn’t heard from him for hours. At 3:30 I finally got a response. They had been cleaning the house after the party the night before. He also told me they were getting dressed and coming down. At 5:00 I told him I was heading over to D and K’s, my friends’ apartment for a bbq I invited him to earlier. He texted back, “Just got here.”
I was just hopping on my bike to head to the grocery store. I took my motorcycle helmet off and walked back to the pier. He and his roommate were sitting there sipping Dunkin Donuts. I sat down next to them to talk about the night before. His roommate was still giving him a hard time for ditching her on her birthday to go to a different bar. I felt bad because I had a feeling he did it to see me, but I certainly didn’t put a gun to his head. I didn’t even ask him to come. I just told him where I was. I asked if they were both going to come to the bbq. They both agreed to come. I told them I would grab some food for the three of us to contribute.
When the time came to go to the bbq, his roommate didn’t want to come. N and I walked over to my D and K’s. We had a great time relaxing. I was trying to distract N from the fact that he lost his phone. After we all ate, we decided it would be a good idea for all of us to smoke. So, the two of us walked back to N’s apartment to get supplies. He wanted me to come in with him, but, again, I knew better.
Some of his roommates would be home and it would create an awkward situation. I waited by the fence while he ran inside. He tried over and over to coax me in, but I stood my ground.
When he came back outside a minute later, he told me two of his roommates were home relaxing on the couch, and we walked back to the bbq. “See!” I said. Once back, I made a deal with everyone not to let me eat everything in sight. I told them to keep me away from more food at all costs. We all smoked. Some of us had unique reactions, and we all had a good laugh about it. I was yelling at my friend because he didn’t have the munchies yet, but I did. It wasn’t fair. But I still wasn’t going to eat.
We decided to clean up and move inside. We carried everything back to the kitchen, and N and I plopped down on the couch together. I snuggled up next to him, but he wasn’t the only thing I snuggled up next to. I sat there with a tub of artichoke dip from Costco and went to town. They all laughed at my failure to stay away from the food. They all failed me as well. No one did their job keeping food out of my reach. N was also being slightly distant. I wasn’t sure if he just wasn’t feeling me that night or what. Maybe he wasn’t thrilled with the PDA, but we had done it before in front of those same friends. I chalked it up to him still being angry or distracted about losing his phone.
That night was no different than any other night. I hadn’t slept with N in a few nights, so he spent the night. We fooled around and had fun. I really appreciated getting to spend some time with him after barely seeing him all weekend. Maybe I was smothering him, but it was too easy to call him to come over when he lived right across the street. And, I never heard him complain. But, as far as I could tell, we were both happy. I was very happy to have him in my life. And, with that, I went to bed…Follow @onegayatatime
That Saturday, on the way home from the lake, we stopped and picked up supplies for a bbq that night. I was making a ton of food and invited a bunch of friends and the two new roommates. They hadn’t met yet, and I thought it would be a good idea to get them together if they were going to be living together. Plus, I wanted to spend time with my man, N, and I wanted to show him off to my friends.
The one thing I have to say about my friends, besides the fact that I love them all, is they all get along with each other. No matter what computation of friends I pull together, they always seem to be able to chat amongst themselves and have a good time.
We started off with muscles for an appetizer, and they were a huge hit! Everyone loved them! We all gathered around the island in my kitchen and ate while we talked. N’s roommate was also invited that night. I had yet to meet her but heard so much about her already. I was only hoping she would like me because I knew her opinion would carry a lot of weight. She came by after a few people had already arrived and settled in. We were introduced, and I immediately knew I would get along with her. She had a spitfire personality and was very attractive. So much so, that all my male friends asked to be set up with her. I know better though. Most wouldn’t getting anywhere near her. At least not with my help.
We moved things out to the balcony while I grilled burgers for everyone. The wine and beer were flowing, and everyone was having a great time. When everyone finished eating, I started to clean up and put things away. About half way through, N came in and asked if he could help me. I thought it was very sweet and thanked him for the offer, but told him, “I got it. Go back and enjoy the party.”
When 10:30 rolled around, we started to make moves to a bar. N’s roommate had friends at the Turtle Club, so we decided to go there. We all piled in and ordered drinks. Some in the group found entertainment in the company of others, while a bunch of us stuck together in a group. I had the opportunity to talk to N’s roommate one-on-one. At one point, I asked the burning question to ask her. “Where do your other roommates thing N is all the time? Don’t they notice that he’s never sleeping there.” She told me that he spends a lot of time a the gym and they just assume he’s there all the time. We talked a little more about N and myself and I told her how much I liked him. She told me she thought I was cool and good for him. I really enjoyed getting to pull her aside and bond with her a little. She means a lot to him, and she is like his little sister.
I spent most of the night at the bar not with N. He was talking to other friends and dancing most of the night. I thought it was great. He was bonding with my friends, I was bonding with his. Our lives were becoming integrated.
Of course, we all had a lot to drink that night, but N had a little more than most. When the time came to go home, he came to my place and ordered food. We laid on the couch watching TV until he fell asleep on me once again. When the food arrived, I attempted to wake him up, but to no avail. I signed for his food, put it in the fridge and went to bed. I was a little annoyed, but what could I do. He was out like a narcolept. If he wanted to pass out on the couch again, he was going to feel uncomfortable once again the next morning…Follow @onegayatatime
Life was good. I had a man who enjoyed spending time with me. I had two roommates lined up to live with me, and I didn’t have to move. I was getting back in shape for the summer. I went from being depressed and feeling alone to utter happiness. It couldn’t have all come along at a better time. Life was good.
That Saturday, I woke early and made coffee for N and I. He was still passed out on the couch from the night before. The day before, we made plans to go to my friend’s lake to help her put her boat in the water. We were hoping for better weather. It was pretty miserable outside — very humid and at time sprinkling rain.
I was still on a high from the night before when N told his friend about me. It validated me in my mind. He really did care about me. I was also happy because he was willing to spend so much time with me. I genuinely enjoyed every moment I spent with him. He was willing to come with me and one of my best friends to help her get her boat ready for the summer, even if it was a crappy day outside.
We got on the road around 9:30, grabbed breakfast on the way and ate in the car. I introduced them to my favorite Hoboken cookies, and they were in heaven. It wasn’t a bad ride because traffic hadn’t gotten into full swing yet. When we arrived at the house, we were greeted by her mother and father. We immediately went to the marina to see if the boat was in the water yet. When my friend went in to talk to the men at the marina, N and I sat in the car talking to her mother. It was interesting to see how he spoke to her. He was genuinely a great guy.
When we got to the boat, the three of us hopped in while my friend’s mother drove back to their house. We drove around the lake for a short bit. N was very happy and looked like I did the first few times she took me out on the boat. I loved seeing him smile that much, especially because of the dimples that formed in his cheeks when he did. Such a turn on!
We drove back to the dock because it began to drizzle. We just sat on the boat for a while under the canopy chatting and relaxing. It was nice. When we started to get tired of sitting around, we went inside, and her mother made us sandwich wraps. N requested so many ingredients, she couldn’t even close the wrap. It was comical. This proper British woman was apologizing for her wrap making skills.
After helping her mother assemble a tree trimming apparatus she purchased to thank her for her hospitality, we decided to get on the road. Shortly after departure, N fell asleep in the back seat, and I talked to my good friend about how things were progressing with him as if he wasn’t there. She could tell how happy I was and was happy for me.
We made a few pit stops on the way home to get a few supplies. I planned a bbq that evening so my two new roommates could meet each other and a few of my friends.
Life was looking up, and the night was just getting started…Follow @onegayatatime
Memorial Day was approaching quickly, and I had no plans. Anything I did at this point was going to be a staycation. I checked with my neighbor, and his plans were to go down to the shore for the holiday weekend. He left that Friday and came back the following Monday.
I was in the midst of trying to find new roommates and a new apartment. I scheduled multiple showings with my broker to see apartments that day, all the while trying to monitor craigslist to see if I got any hits for prospective roommates. Needless to say, I was stressed.
I really needed a distraction from my crumbling home life. My apartment is for sale and could be bought any second, and both my roommates were moving out. I felt all alone. I went for a long hard run since it was such a nice day. I figured I could at least put the nervous energy to good use. But when I finished my run, my anxiety returned.
That night I had a BBQ and invited a bunch of my friends over. One of my best friends since moving to Hoboken, her roommate, 2 other girls they brought into the group, and one of the girl’s male friends visiting from San Diego all came with wine in hand. My sister and one of my other good friends, K, also joined the party with ample supplies.
The BBQ was nice and got my mind off things for a time, but it was still in the back of my head. I posted to facebook my unhappy status, “Feeling very alone right now.” North Carolina read this and immediately texted me.
We exchanged texts. He was missing the man he met while on vacation in Florida. I explained my roommate situation. He jokingly said that he’d move in, but wouldn’t be able to until July 1. He explained that his gay roommate was making very inappropriate passes at him, and it was making him very uncomfortable. He sent me some of the messages, and my jaw nearly hit the floor. I called his bluff and told him to move in. This wouldn’t be the first time he was slated to move in.
We talked back-n-forth for some time, and I convinced him to come out to the apartment for a BBQ the following night. I invited my sister, K, D, and his girlfriend L as well. We had another great time with food and wine all night. After we ate, my sister, K, and NC all went out to the bars. We bounced from dead spot to dead spot, the whole time bonding with NC.
We talked about Grindr and our hookups and the guys we were pursuing. We talked about winging for each other and how great it would be to live together. We also chatted about the status of my relationship with my neighbor, a coworker and previous hookup of his. At the time, they were not getting along. Both of them thought they were better than the other, and their egos were getting the better of them. NC told me I was a gook-looking guy, and I could do much better than him. He told me about the night they hooked up, which I would later find was contradictory to the other party’s recollection of the night. However, I was really happy with where the situation was headed, but I wouldn’t relax until he signed a check.
He ended up spending the night in my roommates room. When I got him settled in, and went to my room, I noticed he never closed the door. He is a very attractive man, and I definitely had some sexual attraction to him, but he was going to be my roommate. I don’t sh*t where I eat. I wasn’t going to make a move. I laid in my bed wondering if I would hear a knock at my door. But none came, and I drifted off to sleep.
The next morning, he woke and had to be back home early. He borrowed a T-shirt, and we walked towards the PATH. I was meeting some of the girls from the first BBQ night. As we walked, he sounded 99% committed to moving in. He had to make sure he could get out of his current place first. As we went to say goodbye, I extended my hand for a handshake, but he pulled me in for a hug. It was a very nice gesture and was very appreciated.
Memorial Day was spent lounging on the pier in Hoboken trying to get some color. My neighbor and I had been texting most of the day, as he was on his way back from the shore. Before heading home, he came and met me at the pier. We sat and chatted a bit, and he talked with many of my friends.
That Wednesday I was slated to go to Memphis for an important business trip. After him being away, I wanted to see him the night before my business trip. I knew I’d be gone for the next 2 days and would be stressed. I wanted to get some quality time in with him.
The next morning, I finished packing while he got ready for work. We said goodbye and decided we would talk later in the day. He was very supportive and sent me texts wishing me luck on my trip. This was really starting to feel like a strong relationship.
P.S. North Carolina would eventually not move in because he got a job with a consulting firm and moved back home to save money until he got placed on a project… Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, shame on you!Follow @onegayatatime