Posts Tagged drinks

We Kiss, We Make Up

When last I wrote about my budding relationship with Clark Kent and myself, we had gotten well past the honeymoon stage. We were trying to maintain a relationship across state lines, and it wasn’t easy. That being said, we were still seeing a lot of each other, and I started to wonder if maybe it was too much. I often wondered, maybe there is such a thing as too much of a good thing…

balance-rock-feather_zps9de02a2dWe needed to find balance, and that wasn’t going to be easy. We’d been dating four short months, but, in reality, it felt like we’d been dating for close to a year, even though we were still figuring things out.

That Thursday night, my old roommate was gathering with friends at the new waterfront biergarten in Hoboken for drinks to celebrate his birthday (which I was unaware of until deep into the night). I mentioned it to CK and asked him to join me when he finished work. He agreed, but he had to work later.

When I arrived, I didn’t know too many of my old roommate’s friends in attendance. I began texting and calling other friends to join us. P and S both responded, “On my way.”

As you can imagine, it takes a lot of time to write a blog, so I was utilizing my free time during the day at work to accomplish this. Apparently, my boss took notice to my poor use of free time since he wasn’t seeing any productivity coming from my time between projects. (Perhaps you can understand why I have been neglecting this blog for the past few months).

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This is relevant because I was also coming off a really rough day at work. I received my review that morning, and it was not positive. My only saving grace was a preemptive strike made a few weeks earlier.

I noticed an opportunity to take over our social media duties (which were being completely neglected) and asked my boss if I could take them on. During my review, when he pointed out my poor utilization of free time, I countered with the argument, “That’s why I approached you about taking on the social media duties.” I thought maybe I’d saved my a$$. He countered with, “I only wish you’d come to me about it three years earlier.” I was defeated.

As if this wasn’t bad enough, I learned later that day we’d be merging with another company. So, on top of a bad review, I was petrified of being labeled a redundancy. Two weeks earlier, my career looked to be shaping up. I was taking on a new role, and finding early success. My experience with this blog and other social media was really paying off. Now, it looked as if my whole world could be crumbling around me.

HobokenPier13A majority of it was out of my hands at that point. All I could do was put my nose to the grindstone for the coming weeks. But, on a Thursday night, I needed to forget. That meant I needed more than a few stiff drinks!

I drank beer after beer while mingling with old friends and some new ones. I was having quite a good time, but I was missing CK. I was texting with him back and forth discussing his arrival.

When he finally arrived, I was thrilled to see him. He could be comfort after a rough day, and I was finally properly lubricated enough to have a good time and forget about work, enjoying a night out with my man and friends.

CK grabbed a beer and immediately dove right into the conversation with all of us. I was chatting with S’s roommate, and the discussion quickly changed to his tattoos and body piercings. CK was a bit fascinated by tattoos at that time. He detailed for me the elaborate tattoos he was dreaming of getting.

TattoSleeveRolledUpS’s roommate was very much Mr. Machismo. I wasn’t sure how comfortable he was with the whole “gay thing.” There was just something about his attitude and the way he carried himself that I didn’t think he’d be too comfortable. I never formally came out to him, as I’d only met him a handful of times, but I assumed S clued him in. I was very pleasantly surprised just how cool he was with the whole “gay thing.” He turned out to be quite a laid back guy. It just goes to show you can’t judge a book by its cover.

The two quickly formed a bond. At some point in the conversation, the roommate started talking about his anxiety over having to fly the next. CK took it upon himself to aid in this situation.

AirplaneSeatImmediately, I was unhappy. My mood shifted abruptly. I shut down. I’ll never quite understand why I react in this way to these types of situations. I think it stems from striving to suppress my feelings at the moment so I don’t create a scene in public. The deeper question is why do I become so enraged in the first place?

This time, CK wasn’t exactly participating. He wasn’t doing anything wrong, however, aiding and abetting someone else’s wrongdoing was equally as bad in my mind. He was enabling behavior he knew I was opposed to. I wasn’t just feeling anger. I was scared. I was afraid I was going to lose him. We’d had this discussion time and time again. If we continued to have the conversation, eventually, he would be faced with an ultimate decision, and there was a chance I would be a casualty of that decision. All of my emotions tied back to this very thought. I was afraid in the end he wouldn’t choose me, and as a result, I would have to choose me. I’d have to say goodbye for my own sanity, facing my greatest fear in life, being alone, on top of losing a man I loved. Obviously, I never wanted it to come to that.

I managed to suppress this anger and feeling of betrayal. My mind was jumping back to all the other times we discussed this very topic. This was only exacerbated because I’d written the blog post about our night at Matinee that afternoon. One of those very conversations was fresh in my mind.

I managed to suppress all this until we walked in the door of my apartment, and then I unleashed. I told him how unacceptable his behavior was, and he was completely dumbfounded. He had no idea why I could be so enraged.

Angry BedOf course this only fed my fury. Had he forgotten all these other times we’d discussed this? Was I living a broken record? We argued extensively about this, and CK threatened to leave multiple times, making it to the door a handful of times.

We finally had a breakthrough at some point when he either feigned to understand my stance, or what I was so vehemently explaining finally sunk in.

We argued a lot about a lot of small things —Things I felt were very important. He felt I was trying to change him. I wasn’t. Honestly! I loved him. I just felt he needed to grow up in some aspects of his life. A person needs to adapt and evolve when entering a relationship, and I still wasn’t sure he was putting in the effort. I wasn’t trying to mold him into my ideal mate. I didn’t have a preconceived notion of who he should be. But, I felt there were some sacrifices he’d need to make to make me happy.

QuestioningManPerhaps I was the one who needed to change. In reality, we both needed to. Only time would tell if we could come to consensus on these types of issues.

Regardless, after fighting, we kissed and made up. Well, we more than made up. This was all followed by a lively romp in the sack. It was so incredible, we both finished at the same time for the first time. As we showered, we discussed our epic make-up sex. “And don’t think you can start picking fights with me just so we can have make-up sex buster,” I punctuated. We both had a good laugh.

No matter how much we fought, at the end of the day, I loved him. He made me happy. I loved that no matter how many times we fought, we always found a way to make up. I wanted to grow old with him, but the key word in that phrase for us would be grow…

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The Walls Closing In

One weekday, CK and I woke at my apartment, and I dragged him out of bed to toss around the medicine ball while we watched TV before work. I was motivated and a bit stressed, so I wanted to work out. We talked about working together to get our bodies back in shape before summer ended. It was miraculous I got him out of bed so quickly.

The planets aligned for us on the TV too. His favorite talking head, Rachel Maddow, was on my favorite talking head’s show, Real Time with Bill Maher. That was something we could both agree on.

When we were done working out, I made us some very healthy and delicious eggs for breakfast, if I do say so myself. Of course, because of our morning workout, we were a little delayed. We showered and got dressed quickly. On the way to the PATH, I wanted to grab a coffee, but CK was running later than he’d liked. He protested, and when I saw a long line, I passed. When we passed a second Dunkin Donuts, I told him I wanted to swing through. He’d apparently had enough and said goodbye on the spot. He wasn’t going to wait for me, and rightfully so. Better judgment kicked in, and I accompanied him to the PATH instead, where we rode together to his stop and gave each other a kiss goodbye.

Not only was I motivated to get my body in shape but also motivated to get my career in shape. Work was evolving drastically for me. I’d just taken on a new role I created for myself after chatting with my boss a few weeks prior. I pointed out our missed opportunity in the social media department and described how I could fill the void. After all, I had some experience in the social world (even though I couldn’t exactly show him my “portfolio”). I thought this could be the ticket to my future. Finally, I found something I could turn into a career instead of a job that generated me a paycheck. Something more than where work was just something I did between my time off. It wasn’t going to be easy, and there were bound to be a lot of speed bumps. However, it wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle.

That morning, I was really thrown a curveball I wasn’t expecting. I was called in for my review, and it was less than stellar. I had anticipated this, and it’s the main reason I approached my boss with the social media proposition in the first place.

Just when I didn’t think it could get any worse, I learned my boss was altering his role at the company as well. He was taking a far less active role, and it didn’t bode well for me. My day was heading downhill fast. Little did I know, but it was about to turn kamikaze. Not only was my boss taking on a lesser role, but we were also merging with another company.

My heart was in my throat for the remainder of the day. My first reaction was fear. Would I be a redundancy? Would I be laid off? As much as this was just a job for me, I needed it very much. I couldn’t even bring myself to text CK or call my family. I was very afraid, ashamed, embarrassed, the list goes one…

After that day came to a close, I woke the next day with some clarity. My next reaction was motivation. The fear began to wane, and I realized I needed to put all my efforts into my new venture. It wasn’t easy to get there, however, it was much easier to get through with the support of my man. I’d told him everything that was going on. He talked me down off the ledge when I was worried I’d lose my job and made me feel much better about the situation.

The fear wasn’t completely gone, and I needed an outlet for my stress. The coworker who left to work at CK’s company asked us to meet her for happy hour at the Standard Biergarten. I had been texting CK that afternoon and asked him to join us. He was being cryptic about what he wanted to do, and told me he may have to work late. I could tell he wasn’t really feeling it, but I really wanted to introduce him to my coworkers. He missed her going away drinks a few weeks earlier, so when this opportunity finally rose again to meet my coworkers, I was pretty persistent. He wasn’t digging it. He had a long day, and he wanted to go home and relax. I was really disappointed, but I also understood. We made plans for him to come to my place for the night when I got home.

Shortly after hearing he was heading home, we decided to leave the biergarten. I tried calling and texting CK, but I got radio silence for two hours. I wasn’t quite sure what was going on, so I decided to lace up and head out for a run. I needed to clear my head and work on my body again. I still couldn’t figure out why he wasn’t responding to me at all.

After my run, I finally got a text telling me he was heading my way. I started to make dinner, and when he texted me asking for a ride, I decided to go radio silent. Sure, I know it was petty, but I was in the middle of making dinner. I also didn’t appreciate him not getting back me when we’d discussed I’d call him when I was heading home.

When he arrived all that no longer mattered. We were both in good spirits because we were there to hug and comfort each other. That’s what it really comes down to at the end of the day, literally. I loved him, and he made me happy.

We sat and ate dinner together, but when I put my hand on his thigh, I felt something sticky/slimy. I pointed it out to him, and he didn’t have an explanation for it. My overactive mind immediately went to work connecting dots. Was it lube? Was that where he was for the two hours I couldn’t get ahold of him? I could go on for hours.

In turn, I got quiet. I was deep in thought and wasn’t quite sure what to say. After we ate, we sat on the couch watching TV. After some time, I suggested we head to bed. I was exhausted, and my head was spinning, but he wasn’t tired. Of course, we both fell asleep on the couch, waking up around three o’clock in the morning, finally moving to my bed.

I tried to put all doubt out of my head. Worrying about it would do no good, and I realized I was making quite a bit of a leap. There was a bigger picture here. I loved him. I won’t say that I squashed all doubt in my mind, but I managed to push it deep down so it wouldn’t continue bubbling up…

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One Fine Day

After not sleeping for more than four hours, Friday night, I slept like a log. I was out very quickly and slept straight through to the morning. I was also starving. After not having a full meal the night before, I was feeling ravenous.

I went into the kitchen and began heating our Greek dinners from the night before in the oven. I returned to the bed to fool around with CK while they heated. He was waiting for me with open arms. I dove right into them. I loved waking up with him. It made my day begin so much better.

We continued to fool around and hug and kiss. Rolling around in the sheets with him was a perfect way to begin our day. When the food was heated through, I plated our meals and brought them to bed. We watched TV on his iPad while we ate our brunch. It was very tasty. I loved eating dinner food for breakfast.

Later that morning, I realized I forgot my toothbrush. I needed to go out and purchase one. I got dressed and made my way to a nearby bodega while CK got dressed for the day. I also popped into Starbucks for a Mocha Cookie Crumble Frappuccino. It was a gorgeous day, and I was happy to be outside. With delicious coffee in hand and a new toothbrush in my pocket, I made my way back to CK’s apartment.

I texted CK to get a move-on since it was so nice out. It was already after noon, and I wanted to take advantage of the nice weather. He finally had a weekend he wouldn’t have to stress about finding a new apartment, and I wanted to get some much-needed sun.

We made plans for him to show me his new apartment on the way to Central Park. CK finally got ready, and we decided to walk there. It was so nice out, I wasn’t about to get on the subway, nor did I want to pay for a cab.

We came upon a street festival on Ninth Avenue on the way. It seemed like fun, but it was a little overcrowded. I was anxious to see his new living quarters and hit up Central Park. With blanket in hand, we cut through the crowd to get to his street. Just before we got to his apartment building, we happened upon a cute garden society park. We decided to scope it out along the way. When we finally got to his building, it turns out we weren’t able to see his apartment. His new roommate never left a key with the front desk. The doorman wouldn’t let us up to see the roof-deck either. We didn’t fight it. We left and made our way to the park.

When we got there, Sheep’s Meadow was packed. There was little real estate left for us to put down a blanket. He laid down and took off our shirts so we could get a little color. We talked about a myriad of things while hugging and kissing each other. We made sure not to make a spectacle of ourselves, but we were enjoying each other’s company.

When a little boy walked by us and waved at us, he turned to me and said, “Awwwww. He’s so cute. Let’s get one!” I laughed, but deep inside, I melted a little. I could just picture how awesome a father he’d be. I looked forward to a long future with him, and the thought of us raising a child didn’t scare me in the least. I was excited! I agreed down the road it would be great to raise a kid, but I suggested we get a dog first. At that, he wanted to go shopping for a dog for me. I explained I am not able to take care of a dog. I lead too active a lifestyle, however, if the time came where we’d move in together, I would certainly love to get a dog together.

We spent a good portion of the afternoon lying around chatting. When CK was finally bored with this, he suggested we rent bikes and take a ride around central park. I thought this was a great idea, so we packed up and found some bikes to rent.

This was an incredibly shady transaction. I felt like I was buying drugs. We talked to about five different guys before we were given a bike that may or may not have been stolen. He asked for one of our licenses. Neither of us felt comfortable doing this because we weren’t sure we’d ever see the same guy again, let alone our licenses. He agreed to let us have them without the collateral. A simple fist bump sealed the deal. I guess we look like trustworthy guys.

We took the bikes and sped off on our ride. We did a complete loop of the park. CK broke out his iPhone and started using Video Star again to film us while riding. It was a lot of fun, until he dropped his phone along the way (However, this added greatly to the actual video that resulted from the footage). The phone survived unscathed, and we continued on. We rode around for about an hour before taking the bikes back. Many times we joked about running off with our new bikes, but we didn’t want the bad karma.

I was feeling peckish, so we made our way to Whole Foods to pick up a snack to eat before heading back to Hoboken for dinner. I had another Living Social to use up. We made our way back to his place before heading to the PATH. I left my bag there, and we made our way to 1 Republik. I called P along the way an encouraged her to join us. When we got to the door, we were denied because I was wearing flip-flops and CK and I were both wearing shorts. I’m sure if we stood and argued about going in for dinner, they would have made an exception, but I was in a good mood from an awesome day. I didn’t want to argue.

We decided to hit up Four L’s instead. We grabbed a table, and the three of us had some spectacular drinks and a few plates of food. We had fun people watching and judging the others making scenes in the bar.

When we finished, CK and I were ready to go home. P was disappointed because I think she wanted to hit up the bar, but I wanted to go home and do sex with my boyfriend.

We walked holding hands and having fun the whole way until CK stopped abruptly. He pulled me in and told me he had something to tell me. Just then, I let out the biggest fart I possibly could. My comedic timing was finally on point. We both busted our sides laughing. When I encouraged him to tell me what he wanted, he wouldn’t budge. I regretted the fart slightly, because I think I ruined what I believed was meant to be a beautiful moment. I highly suspected, based on his actions, he was about to tell me he loved me. I ruined it with a fart. I would have to wait until the next time he got the urge to express this. I’d already told him I was close to saying it, but I hadn’t said it yet. I was anxious if to learn if I was right about what he wanted to tell me then.

When we got back to my apartment, CK and I made our way to my bedroom. Warning: The following may be too graphic for some. He wanted to penetrate me, and I obliged. I wasn’t the biggest fan of bottoming on my back, so I turned onto my stomach and raised my hips into the air while he prepped. He was inside me, and it felt great. I loved feeling his body against mine while he kissed the back of my neck. Just before he was about to finish, he pulled out and shot all over my back. He grabbed me a towel, and we laid next to each other enjoying the lasting effects of sex.

When he asked if I wanted to penetrate him, I jumped on the opportunity. I really wanted to fall asleep inside him. He agreed to this, so we got into the spooning position. I lined up and slowly slide inside him while hugging him from behind. This felt great.

Of course, there would be no sleeping. This simply escalated to sex, but it was the best sex we’d had to date. I was penetrating him in the spooning position at first, but before long, I rolled over on my back, and he was on top of me while I was still inside him. It was unbelievably passionate. We changed positions many more times after that, one of which was the reverse cowgirl. I loved every second of it. He was making me feel things I’d yet to feel with him. It was inconceivable!

That wasn’t meant to be what happened, but neither of us complained. We both went to bed that night happy men. Not only did I get great sex, I also suspected my boyfriend truly loved me. I’d have to wait for confirmation on the latter portion, but I was still on a high from great sex regardless. I would sleep rather soundly that night with the most amazing man I’d ever had in my bed.

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Comedic Timing

Every morning I woke up happier than the day before. I had an amazing boyfriend who would only make my day brighter. On top of that, I had an amazing new bed. I couldn’t believe the different a solid platform bed made over a standard metal frame. I slept so well, I slept through my alarm. I woke Wednesday morning at 9:00am. I was going to be late for work!

When I got to work, I solidified my plans with CK for the evening. I was planning to run home after work to pack an overnight bag, but after texting with CK, I learned he was planning to spend the night at my place. We would meet at his place before hitting up the show. He was hoping to get home by 7:00. As the day progressed, he informed me he would be lucky if he could leave work by 8:00. I decided not to run home. Instead I hung at the office and write a few blog posts.

When 8:00 hit, he headed home, and I made my way over as well. He was going to hop in the shower, so he told me he’d leave the door unlocked. When I got to the door, it was locked. I buzzed, and he answered in his briefs. I ran and threw my arms around him, and we had a five-minute makeout session. He was a bit sweaty and told me how gross he was. “I smell like balls,” he added. We both fell to the bed in tight embrace and began rolling around the bed.

I was so happy to see him. I had missed him, but seeing him made it seem all the more extreme. I was downright giddy. We playfully rolled around the bed kissing each other all over. CK proceeded to continue to bite me. I told him to stop.

I finally laid down the law a bit. I told him how much it hurts. I explained that nibbling was okay, but the biting was starting to leave black-and-blue marks. He calmed down a bit. He then proceeded to attempt to pin me down so he could playfully put his smelly balls on me. I playfully resisted and protested. Luckily for me, I’m stronger than him. Finally, he made his way to the shower. I sat on the couch reading until he emerged. We fooled around a little more before finally making our way to snag a cab to the Lower East Side.

When we got to the event at the Upright Citizens Brigade, I realized this was something organized through work. It was a packed house. It was difficult to maneuver through the full bar, especially with my work bag and CK’s overnight bag. That’s when he kinda let me have it. He pointed out just how much he hates carrying a bag around. He originally wanted to swing by his place on our way to my apartment. I suggested bringing his bag with him since we’d already be downtown. He also pointed out to me how he wanted to drop his bag off at my apartment when we were walking through the festival that Sunday, but I didn’t make that happen. I offered to carry his bag then, and I offered to trade bags with him at the event since mine was very small and light.

In the end, it was fine. He got over it and thanked me for taking care of his bag while he grabbed us drinks. We were seated shortly, and it wasn’t that much of an inconvenience.

The show was hysterical. I recognized an old coworker in the crowd and someone I went to college with on stage. He was the best of the whole lot. I was very impressed. It was nice to do something fun with CK.

When the show was over, he was ready to head out into the rain. We grabbed Mexican at a restaurant around the corner. It was very good and we have a good time sharing a bunch of tacos and flan. We talked about how we met and how lucky we were to find each other. We also talked about the hot bartender. I noticed him when we arrived but didn’t mention anything. It took CK until we were ordering dessert to notice and pointed it out to me. He was surprised to hear I’d already noticed him.

We hopped in a cab to the PATH and made our way to my apartment. We barely made the train. I didn’t know he needed to buy separate trips for the PATH from the MetroCard, so I quickly scanned my card for him while holding the train doors open so it couldn’t leave.

As we walked to my place, I opened my umbrella, and he asked if he minded if he locked his hand on my arm. Again, I felt slightly uncomfortable, but I needed to force myself to get used to it. This was my life. There’s no changing it. I was curious what made him ask that. Was I that bad at hiding my unease? I told him it was fine. He also wanted to see if he could figure out the way back to my place without help. I was impressed when he pulled it off.

When we got to my apartment, we went straight to my bedroom. It was late, so we both stripped down to briefs and boxers. It was nice to lay in his warm embrace finally. It really made my night. It wasn’t long before we started fooling around. This of course led to sex. “Do you want to f*ck me?” he asked. I expressed me strong desire to, but then he flipped it on me. “Can I f*ck you?” he added. I agreed, and we got it on. (I was very happy to see the bed hold up so well and not make a sound. It truly was a worthwhile investment.)

We both lay there incapacitated for some time before he asked if I wanted to f*ck him. “When I get feeling back in my legs, maybe,” I said. In the back of my mind, I was saving my turn for the morning. I’m always horniest then, and it’d been a while. I knew it would feel amazing.

Instead, we started to watch Revenge. About ten minutes into the show, he was gently snoring. I woke at 4:00am to find the TV and lights still on. I turned them off and tucked us in under the comforters.

Waking in the morning to his smiling face in mine was priceless. We kissed immediately, and I felt amazing. I really liked CK! He was everything I needed in a man. I didn’t have one single complaint about him at that moment. He was spectacular.

Warning: The following may be too graphic for some. After a lot of cuddling and snoozes, he began blowing me. It felt great, but I was really hoping for penetration. Finally, positions shifted, and I found the great pleasure of being inside him.

The time came to get ready for work. He needed to be there by 9:00 and put me in charge of making sure that happened. He went into the bathroom for some time before he emerged and asked if I wanted to join him in the shower. I obliged his request. Who could turn down such a sexy man with hot water streaming across his body?

We ended up leaving the apartment slightly late. I flagged us a cab to make up for some time, and we managed to catch the PATH just as it was about to embark. I kissed him at Christopher Street station and said goodbye.

When I got to work, I was already missing him. The previous night, he mentioned his disappointment in not being able to be around for my birthday. I told him I understood. His mother was coming into town. I thought it was very sweet of him to be disappointed, especially since I don’t really celebrate my birthday. I sent him a text to let him know I missed him. He responded telling me he missed me too, and he was having a very productive and good morning. I was happy for/proud of him.

I was really falling for him. I even took a moment out of my day to update my status on Facebook to reflect my new status. I couldn’t be certain where things were headed after only a month, but if things continued the way they were going, I certainly was onboard! Maybe I would finally find love.

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Southern Hospitality

After my lukewarm date with the doctor, I was ready to get back out there in search for a man.

I’m happy to report, which I’m sure some of you may have suspected otherwise, I was doing a great job of staying off Grindr. Granted, it was a short period of time, but I was thoroughly proud of myself. I felt like I’d joined GA. Every day not having meaningless sex was another day of Grindr sobriety.

Tuesday after work, I arranged another date with Southern Drawl. The last date was a bit crazy. Footsie under the table. Shenanigans in the bathroom. I was curious if he’d be able to behave this time or would he be looking for another quick trip to the bathroom.

We texted during the day to lock things down. I proposed The Breslin. I’d always loved their food, their drinks and their ambiance. He shot the idea down because he said the place was always full of hipsters. I had always been a fan of Sala 19 in the Flatiron District, so I proposed we go there for dinner. It worked out well because it was halfway between our offices. He agreed.

I had to wait at work for him to finish. When he did, I made my way south to meet him. I met him on the street corner, and we walked to the restaurant.

Dinner was very nice. He was well-behaved, and the conversation was good. I told him about my allergist appointment, and he told me about his day. We talked frankly about our last date. We discussed what went on. I learned he’d never done anything like that before. I was also learning about the guys he’d dated since living in New York City. When we originally spoke on the phone, I was under the impression he was new to the gay world. I thought he’d never really dated anyone before. Now, I was learning about all the guys he dated in NYC, as well as the guy he dated through college that he said I so strongly reminded him of and resembled. It was a bit unsettling.

In the middle of dinner, he told me he’d ended things with the guy he was seeing. He explained they’d only been seeing each other for two weeks, and things were never that strong. When I probed him to ask if he left the other guy because he met me or if he did it because he wasn’t satisfied with the previous guy, he told me it was the latter, but part of it was also due to meeting me. A big red flag went off in my head. Would he leave me for a better model?

I still wasn’t sure about him. I liked talking to him. I liked being with him. He was smart. He was nice. He wasn’t flamboyant, however, I wondered if maybe he was too “straight.” He was a bit homophobic. I’m not the most open about my sexuality. I’m not out to everyone at work. I don’t openly advertise my sexuality. However, if he wasn’t comfortable with himself, how could we be comfortable with each other. I couldn’t be sure about him. Was he right for me? I had no idea. Only more time could tell. I was keeping a distance as we moved forward. We had a connection, but was it strong enough to last? Was it what I wanted?

In our conversations, his southern entitlement shined through. It was an incredible turnoff. Where was the southern charm I’d seen so many times in movies. When I think of the ideal man, I think of Matthew McConaughey. He definitely has an ego and self-confidence, but he also exudes charm and sexuality. His confidence is not in your face, and he seems down-to-earth. Southern Drawl fit the other Hollywood archetype — The Southern plantation owner. He had an air or superiority that was hard to swallow. Many times, he laughed off these comments, making them seem like a joke, but I wondered if there was really something deep down that was more genuine. I wasn’t ready to date a snob. That $hit wouldn’t fly with me. I wasn’t going to let him get away with it, and I’d already started calling him on it.

When we finished eating, we split the bill and walked north to the PATH station. I said goodbye to him ont he street with barely a hug. He was uncomfortable exchanging a kiss with me in front of a city of strangers. I wasn’t thrilled by that.

On my ride home, I questioned why I was continuing to see Southern Drawl. He was definitely interested in me, and I was still intrigued by him. I wasn’t ready to write him off just yet, but I didn’t see a lot of promise or potential. I would continue to see other men and continue to see him until I was ready to make a definitive decision.

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Chelsea Lately

Since we saw each other over the weekend, I had tentative plans to see Chelsea again on Monday after work.

I texted him during the day to figure out somewhat of a game plan. When I finished work, I walked to his apartment in Chelsea. He buzzed me in, and greeted me at his apartment door with a kiss. I got caught up on his day a lil’ while we sprawled on the couch a bit. He was in a good mood and was very talkative. After we lounged a bit, we started talking about what we wanted to do for the evening. Between the two of us, we couldn’t really come up with a game plan other than to find drinks and food somewhere.

He finally suggested Sushi Samba. I had never been, but I had their food before. It was amazing. I knew it was a little pricey, but I wasn’t really under a budget these days. As long as he was cool with it, I was game. We walked through the West Village, my favorite neighborhood in the city. We talked as we walked and had great conversation.

We sat at a table on the upper terrace of Sushi Samba since it was an unseasonably nice day, so we decided to order summery, fruity drinks. I ordered a melon drink and he ordered something with passion fruit. Both drinks were excellent, but ironically we enjoyed the other’s drink far more. For the next round we ordered the same, but swapped. We also decided to order a few small appetizers. Everything was great, and I was having a really nice time with Chelsea. We were both relaxed and enjoying the night. It just felt easy. Nothing was forced. I was liking him more and more. He was masculine enough. He was tall, good-looking, a sweetheart… There was little I could find to complain about.

On top of all this, he insisted on picking up the tab when it arrived. No matter how much I protested, he wouldn’t let me split the bill. Finally, I gave up. I was a bit shocked as well, because the tab came to $130 for drinks and apps. We hadn’t even gone to dinner yet — That was next.

One of his friends worked at a Brazilian restaurant nearby, Berimbau, and after trying to get ahold of him, he finally got the address. We made our way three blocks to the restaurant and were seated at a cute, romantic table for two. We decided what to order and both enjoyed our meals. The conversation continued to flow while we ate and even a little under the table leg stroking occurred. I was happy. This guy was turning out to be quite a catch.

While I was rubbing his knee, we started talking about PDA, and I came to learn he wasn’t very big on it. I find myself being a bit shy with PDA as well, but if the right guy gets me out of my shell, I go with it. I’m still building up that comfort level. He, however, did tell me he certainly had no problem with the leg rubbing. He was rather enjoying that, and so was I.

We shared dessert, and I insisted on paying the tab. He didn’t put up a fight.

We walked back to his place. It was a really nice night, and we enjoyed ourselves. Everything felt easy and casual. I liked that a lot. Things were going well, but for some reason, something was still holding me back.

I was pretty tired by the time we arrived back at his place. We hopped into bed and fooled around for a bit. I still had no idea if he was a top or bottom. I wasn’t looking for sex, but I was curious if I could find out the answer. I began to slowly inch my finger toward his bottom until I was “knocking at the door,” but he rather quickly jerked my hand away and stated, “I’m going to have to mentally prepare before that’s going to happen.” I laughed, and we both shrugged it off. That told me he didn’t normally bottom, but he wouldn’t be opposed to it after we got a little more comfortable. After another bit of time, we snuggled up and dozed off.

Once again, we both slept poorly. I was up every five minutes throughout the night. I woke up exhausted. To make matters worse, it was incredibly gloomy and rainy, and he didn’t have to go to work. I did. He sprawled out on the couch in his briefs. He certainly didn’t have a problem stripping down in front of me anymore. He sat there visually teasing me while I got dressed. I came over and joined him on the couch for the little time I had left before I needed to make my way to work. I needed to get a little before I left. The teasing was a little too much for me. I stood, gave him a kiss, gave his package a gentle little squeeze and made my way across town.

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Testing Boundaries

Once again, today is another double post to make up for lost time. If you are just visiting for the first time today, scroll down to the previous story to keep up with the timeline. Enjoy!


It had been a long work trip. I didn’t have any spare time for anything fun other than work. The one hour I had free, I spent on the treadmill trying to get back in shape for the rapidly approaching warm weather.

After my meeting, I sped to the airport. I wanted to get home so I could start my weekend off right. I began texting everyone back home to see what they were up to so I could be efficient with my time when I landed. I sent out a flurry of texts and received a few responses before taking off. I knew at least a few people were up for drinks at the bar. I also decided to take care of my pre-game at 30,000 feet. I ordered two scotch on the rocks to help get me started.

When I landed, I got more responses to my texts. Some people were too lazy to go out. They received harassing phone calls from me urging them to sack up and join the able-bodied and willing. It was no use. I also texted my Grindr friend who recently moved to Hoboken from the city — Much closer to me. I asked him if he wanted to check out the Hoboken scene. I warned him it would be all straight bars, but he was down.

I picked up some food at the airport I could eat in the car on the way home. When I arrived, I quickly showered and got dressed. My friend took a little longer to get ready, so I had to wait for him a bit. I was getting messages from my sister and friend who were at the bar waiting for my arrival. I told them to keep their pants on… I was en route.

I met my friend on the corner and walked with him to my local watering hole, McSwiggans. I told him about the bar as we walked. He asked how my trip was, and we continued the small talk.

I hadn’t told anyone I was bringing a guy with me. They were a bit surprised. But, I wasn’t bringing him as a love interest. I was bringing him as a new neighbor and friend. He didn’t know Hoboken, so I thought I could show him around a bit. I also knew he was normal enough he would fit in. I introduced him to everyone, and we got beers. I spent a lot of the night chatting with him, but mixed in with my friends/sister as well. As the night progressed, my sister grew more and more intoxicated. She started rubbing her a$s on me like she does with people when she’s drunk. It took a lot to get her to stop.

After some time, I got a text from one of my teammates from college. He was in town at another bar, so I gathered everyone up, and we made our way to Black Bear. He was there with his new girlfriend and her friends. When we arrived, I needed to relieve myself immediately. He came down the stairs and joined me standing in line to hit up the bathroom. After we all finished using the facilities, we made our way upstairs. My group grabbed a table, and my friend dragged me over to meet his group. He introduced me while my Grindr friend followed me. His girlfriend was already three sheets to the wind and shouted into my ear, “Is this your boyfriend?” I explained he was just a friend, and we all continued chatting. When I realized I was neglecting my other friends, we made our way back to the other table.

By then my sister was wasted, and she needed to go home. Luckily, one of the guys in the group who is utterly chivalrous, volunteered to escort her home since they both lived uptown. I said goodbye to both and was left with P and my Grindr friend. When my Grindr friend went to the bathroom, I explained my predicament to her. Until this point, we were just friends, but I wasn’t sure if maybe we could be more. I asked her if I should make a move.

“Why not!? What do you have to lose?” she asked. I told her I liked having him as a friend, and if I crossed that line, I wouldn’t have a friend anymore. I wasn’t sure which I would rather have. A new friend or a new guy to date. She still suggested I go for it. I decided I would make a game time decision later.

I felt like it was mine for the taking. He always seemed interested but who could really tell? I was purposely putting out the friend vibe, but I think if I escalated things, he would be interested.

The night was dragging on, and I was tired. We closed our tab and made our way for the door. P lived in the opposite direction of my new neighbor and I. Furthermore, we decided to stop at Cluck U and get a late night snack before heading home. When he asked if we were eating there or somewhere else, I volunteered to go back to my place.

When we walked into my apartment, we sat at the counter eating and talking. When we finished, he needed to use the bathroom. I moved over to the couch in hopes he would as well when he came back into the room. He didn’t get the hint. He sat back down at the counter until I suggested he join me in the living room. When he did, he sat in the chair next to the couch. This was going to take some work.

We talked some more before I finally moved to the chair and said, “I hope this isn’t out of line, but…” and I laid a big kiss on him. He totally kissed me back. It was great. Taking the risk paid off. When I pulled back, I asked him, “Did I surprise you?” “Well… YEAH! Of course I was surprised. I just thought we were going to be friends,” he replied. “I know. I was putting out that vibe on purpose. I wasn’t sure what would come between us,” I told him. He just smiled, and we kissed again…

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New Friends

While walking back to the PATH from a date with one of the rudest guys I’ve ever encountered, I texted another guy I had been chatting with on Grindr over the past week. He seemed like a great guy, so I thought I’d see if he was available to grab a drink since I was in the city, and it was still early. After not being able to reach him, I began texting and calling other friends to see if they were interested in going out to the bar in Hoboken. I reached one of my friends who was out on a date with her boyfriend in the city. She was headed to the PATH train herself, so we agreed to hit up the bar when we arrived back in Hoboken.

Just as I was about to hop on the PATH, I got a phone call from the sexy man I had been talking to on Grindr. He was available and inviting me to come cuddle, but I told him we’d pick another night. I already made plans.

I met my friend and her boyfriend outside the PATH on the other side of the Hudson River, and the three of us walked to 1Republik. My usual bartender was working, so I said hello and ordered us drinks. I had a Johnnie Walker, and she looked at me with a confused look. She said, “Since when?” I told her I often drink it, but definitely needed it tonight after my failed date (that’s the understatement of the year). I recounted my date to my friend and her boyfriend. She was shocked and couldn’t believe I went on the date at all.

In the meantime, another friend arrived, just about the time the happy couple was ready to head to bed. I told her of my date from hell as well, as she looked at me with wide eyes and asked how I didn’t throw my drink on him and stiff him with the bill.

I felt the need to circle back to the guy who chatted with me earlier. He helped pass the time while I waited for the a$shole with whom I was supposed to be on a date. I told him I was back in Hoboken, and he should come grab a beer at 1Republik. It was already understood, at least on my end, this was not a romantic interest. We had spoken before on Grindr and exchanged pictures. He was almost half my height, so nothing of a dating relationship would ensue. However, I was alway looking to make new friends, especially gay ones, since I was very lacking in that department.

He and his friend arrived at the bar to find the line about twenty-five people deep. They weren’t interested in waiting in line and rightfully so. I told him we would come out and hit up a different bar.

When we got outside, I was met by the odd couple. There was this tiny rough, tough guy standing next to this well built tall blondie who was a big ball of fluff. They made for an interesting match. We introduced ourselves to each other and walked to a quiet bar to sit and chat.

At the bar, Court Street, I came to learn the blonde has a boyfriend in the city of about four months. We talked about their dynamic and Blondie made a comment about how he gets emotional at times, showing his feminine side. I barked at him to stop speaking that way. It is what perpetuates the stereotypes. Showing your emotions is not a feminine thing. If anything, its even more masculine when a real man is confident enough show his emotions. There’s nothing feminine about it. He saw my point, but I don’t think he fully agreed. This guy wasn’t extremely effeminate, but after a conversation with him, you could certainly tell he was gay.

The other guy had been a little quieter, and has been single for some time. He is very masculine and loves football and baseball. From the look of him and a full conversation, you’d never know he was gay. I always find these encounters interesting. I find that quality very attractive. I look for it in all the men I date. However, there was no attraction to this man.

We had a great conversation and my female friend asked a lot of questions. I always love having those types of conversations and educating heterosexuals about the other side of the spectrum. Then the time came for last call. We finished our beers and made our way to the door.

The little guy and I were heading in the same direction, while the other two went the opposite direction.

I chatted with the little guy as we walked towards my apartment. I had a few suspicions he may have been attracted to me and hoping for something at the end of the walk, but I was much more interested in making new friends.

In the end, we shook hands and parted ways. He suggested we get together again soon for beers, and I agreed. Writing this has just reminded me, we’re due for a beer, and I need to drop him a line…

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Fire Island Bartender

I always get particularly excited when a new guy pops up on Grindr who happens to live in Hoboken. I have pretty much blocked all the gay men in Hoboken, so when a new one pops up, I notice.

One in particular messaged me and was pretty cute. In his pictures, he looked like he had a good body and seemed very nice and genuine. After we chatted a few times, we exchanged numbers and switched things over to texting.

He told me he was a trainer at NYSC, but he was on hiatus while he got a certification. In the meantime, he was working as a bartender on Fire Island. He was gone almost every Thursday through Monday. This made it very hard to find a time to meet up, but eventually we figured it out.

We decided to meet on a Tuesday evening at a Mexican restaurant in Hoboken, Charritos. I had only ever heard good things but had never been. He made a good choice. He spent the day out in the burbs of New Jersey at his friend’s pool, and he was late getting back because of rain and flooding. When he finally showed up in his ripped jeans, finely quaffed hair, tight T-shirt and leather bracelets, I knew this date was doomed from the start.

The night before I was warned about this guy. While talking to N, I learned they knew each other in passing. N had seen him working at the gym and told me he was quite effeminate. I became skeptical but open-minded at that point, but when I met this guy in person, the second he opened his mouth I was turned off. On top of that, I noticed how filled out he was. He was supposed to be a trainer. I would never go to a trainer who was that pudgy and couldn’t follow their own advice.

We sat and had a very nice dinner. We talked about coming out and our families’ reactions to the news. We chatted about work and what we do for fun. The conversation was nice, but there was no spark. He just kept looking at me with this big smile like he wanted to gobble me up. I got the feeling he was a bit lost in the world. He was openly gay, but I’m not sure if he knew how to navigate life with men. I shouldn’t talk, because I have no idea what I’m doing, but he seemed like his GPS was slightly off.

After dinner, he asked if I wanted to grab another drink somewhere. I obliged, but I should have ended the date then and there. I knew better. I clearly wasn’t interested in this guy and had an out to go home, but I felt bad for him. I felt like he needed a friend, so I stuck around. We went around the corner to Sushi Lounge and sat at the bar. We each ordered a round and continued our conversation.

Somehow the topic of the rainbow came up as a symbol for gay culture came up in conversation. I explained just how much I despised the rainbow. He was flabbergasted. He didn’t know how to react. I explained it was not something I embraced. I could understand why some people need a symbol to hold on to, but I was making every attempt to not let my homosexuality separate me from the rest of the world. I am a normal ordinary man who happens to like the company of other men. I don’t need a rainbow to broadcast who I am. On top of that, I find the rainbow aesthetically unpleasing. I could tell I really turned him off by all this, but he wasn’t going to argue.

Then the conversation turned to previous relationships. I told him about the two I had been in and the duration of each. He told me I had a longer relationship than any he’s ever had. When I asked him why, he asked the bartender for another drink. He was a broken gay man. I felt bad for him, but certainly no attraction towards him. I thought maybe I could be his friend.

After we split our tab, I walked him home. Much to my surprise, he invited me up. I have NO idea why I agreed, but I did. We sat on the couch with some wine while we watched one of the music channels. We got into a conversation about Lady Gaga. I told him I found her very inspirational and really got behind her message and what she stood for. He told me he was over her. We obviously were going to but heads, so I was about ready to leave.

At that moment, he took my wine glass, took off my shirt, and started kissing me. He was an awful kisser. All over the place. I did not want to be there making out with him. I did however feel he needed to be kissed. So, I suppose you could call it a pity kiss. After a short while, I told him I needed to go home. I had work the next day, and it was getting late. I said goodnight, and with that I was gone.

I made it as far as the bottom step of his apartment stoop when I realized I left my umbrella in his apartment. There was no way in hell I was coming back to this place to get it, nor did I really want to see him again after that night. So, I rang his apartment. He buzzed me in, and I went back up to get my umbrella. When I walked in the door, he pushed me back into a chair and mounted me. Apparently he wasn’t done. I immediately told him I needed to go. I only came back for the umbrella, not an encore. That’s when I really realized he only wanted me for my body. We didn’t have that great of conversation all night and disagreed a lot. We were obviously not compatible for a relationship, but maybe he was just horny. I was slightly offended and made my way home.

He immediately texted me: “Had a great night with you.” I didn’t respond immediately, but in the morning I texted: “I had a good time too.” After that, I was done with him. I was pleasant, but I didn’t give him hopes of a second date. He would not be a repeat offender. The next day he texted, “How was your day at work?” But, he would not get anything back from me. Once again, it was back to the dating pool…

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Waste-a-Date

The time came for me to start going through the roster at a better pace. I was going to meet these guys for dates and slowly widdle the list down to a quality few. I started with the guys I’d been talking to the longest and worked my way up from there. I knew their patience was probably waning, so I figured it best to start there.

One specific torso had been talking to me for weeks. He was very busy when we first started chatting with a move to a new apartment. We chatted sporadically but never seemed to nail down plans.

I messaged him on Grindr and asked if he was available to go out that week. Surprisingly, he was available that Wednesday. We made plans to grab a drink after work and take it from there. He seemed like a really nice guy and was eager to meet me. His torso shot on Grindr also proved he had a great body!

I started off that Wednesday on the wrong foot. I left the house in the morning and got half way to the PATH before I realized I forgot a belt. It was going to be a long day of me constantly pulling up my pants. Not a good day.

When work ended, I decided to walk up to the neighborhood in which we were going to meet. It was about 20 blocks and 3 avenues — nothing I wouldn’t normally walk. However, it was much more uncomfortable without a belt to keep my pants up.

We met in front of his apartment. He came down and was dressed in what I describe as spunky gay — tight striped tank top and tight straight-leg shorts. I already knew he was not going to be my type. On top of the fact that he was about 5′ 6″ to my 6′ 2″. I wasn’t going to completely write him off, but it wasn’t looking promising.

We chatted while we walked to Therapy, a bar around the corner where we could grab a drink. He had a thick hispanic accent, and at times, it was difficult to understand him. This was going to be a long date. On second thought, this was going to be the shortest date ever!

We sat upstairs at a table and ordered a round of drinks. We had NOTHING in common. We went to completely different bars, we were into very different things, and he said he doesn’t really go out much. We couldn’t have been more polar opposites. The date was very awkward and uncomfortable, and I couldn’t wait to get out of there. He asked what I had planned for later. I told him my roommates and I make dinner for each other every Wednesday, and they would be very upset with me if I skipped. This was a complete lie, but it was my out to leave after we finished the first round of drinks.

I excused myself to go to the restroom. I felt like I wasted my evening on this wet noodle of a man, so I wanted to see if I could salvage the night. I texted the next guy in my Grindr roster to see what he was up to. I couldn’t wait for a response, so I told him I’d be up for hanging out if he was around. I walked back up to the table and asked my “date” if he was ready to go. I paid the tab, and we walked down the stairs. I complained about all the old men ogling me as I descended the staircase, but he told me he was turned on by it and got off on it, reestablishing our differences.

I walked him home, and we talked about future plans. He was aware I was going to Ocean City, Maryland with my family the following week. It was an excellent out to not have to call him again. He mentioned the possibility of grabbing a movie when I returned. I told him it was a possibility, but I knew it wasn’t. I would never call or text him again. I gave him a hug and said goodbye.

As I walked to Port Authority, I pulled out my phone to see if the second Grindr guy responded. He told me he was having dinner with a friend. I offered to hang around a little while longer if he would be available later, but he suggested we do something some other night. With that, I chalked the night up to an utter failure and hopped on the bus back to Hoboken.

When I got home, I pulled up Grindr. I messaged and was messaged by some quality guys to beef up the roster. I was back to my old self. But this list was filled with guys I wanted to date, not just have sex with. I was turning over a new leaf, or so I hoped…

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