Posts Tagged grindr
Seems Fishy
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on June 4, 2012
Clark Kent and I tried to find a way to be together over the week, but it just didn’t seem to work out. We tried Wednesday, but he had to work late on a pitch. Thursday was out because he was supposed to be going to the hospital to visit his friend who just had his hip replaced. He didn’t even get to do that because work had him there late. We settled on spending Friday together once again.
Friday morning when I arrived at work, two of my team members were walking out of the building. I asked them where they were headed, and they told me to check out the shuttle flyover on the Hudson. I had nothing on my plate for the morning, so I joined them. We staked out a spot and waited for the shuttle to arrive. I realized this was something CK would probably love to see, so I texted him asking if he was checking it out. He worked near the Hudson River and could be there within five minutes. He was completely unaware, so I told him to hurry up.
Unfortunately, he missed it, so I sent him pictures. I made my way back to work and got started with another slow day at the office. I spent a better portion of the afternoon working on the blog to get things squared away for the rest of the Friday releases.
In the middle of the afternoon, CK texted me. “How’s your day going baby?” I told him it was great. “I scoped out the shuttle, and now I’m out to lunch with one of our old interns and the rest of my team. I also have some fun news to share with you.” I learned that morning; one of the girls from my team was going to work at his agency. I couldn’t wait to tell him since she was one of my favorite coworkers. “I could use some fun news,” he added. I replied and told him I was “so excited to see you!”
He replied, “Me tooooooooo. Can’t wait :). What do you wanna do tonight baby? I’m home. Left office early. Gonna go with [his friend] to see [his other friend] in Brooklyn. Can we please do something free/cheap, yet priceless/memorable? That’s the sweet spot I’d like to hit. Well, one of the sweet spots… and by no means the sweetest ;).”
I quickly responded, “Yes. Glad to hear you get to go see him! How bout movie/Revenge night on the couch? You can come to my city oasis. Popcorn, wine, ice cream…” He immediately shot back, “#purrrrrrrrfection. You have no idea how happy you just made me =].” And to add the icing on the cake, I told him, “And, I didn’t shave for you today.” He loved when I had stubble. He liked the way it felt against his skin and liked how I looked with scruff.
When he finished at the hospital and was walking to the subway, he called me. He spent more time there than he expected. His friend was released and they took him home to get him settled in. He needed to go home and freshen up, and then he’d make his way to me.
I’d been sitting around since 6:00 waiting for him to arrive. I prepped the fillet mignons and the chicken for the grill, peeled the carrots and put them in a pot, and I even baked a pineapple upside down cake. After that, I laid on the couch waiting for his call in my motorcycle gear. Around 10:15, I finally got a text from him. Apparently he wasn’t paying attention and rode the PATH back into the city to 33rd street. He was so engulfed in his book, he completely missed the stop.
I was slightly annoyed because I didn’t fully buy his story. The PATH doesn’t simply arrive at Hoboken and turn right back around. It sits there for at least a good ten minutes without moving. He was obviously doing something else before coming over. At 9:45, he tweeted, “I saw the movie before starting the book, and I gotta say, the adaptation translates incredibly well.” He was referring to the Hunger Games he was reading. He was supposed to be in Hoboken at 9:30. How was he tweeting from under the Hudson River? Sure, I was stalking him a little, but I was always waiting for him. I was trying to figure out where he was. He wasn’t aware I was checking out his Twitter account, and I wanted to keep it that way. If he was going to cut me off from Grindr access (he blocked me), maybe I could find another way to check in periodically. (Yes, I’m aware how psycho I sound!)
Finally, he made it. I arrived minutes after him to scoop him up on the motorcycle. No longer would we be taking the long way home. I was slightly annoyed and starving! I hadn’t even begun to cook yet.
When we parked the bike, I tore my helmet off and planted a big kiss on him. We continued to kiss on the street a few minutes before I persuaded him to come upstairs so I could work on dinner. I took everything to the grill and began to cook it while we lay in bed making out. When I started to strip his clothes off, he asked, “We’re going to have sex before we eat?” I explained things needed a little time to cook. “Not sex, but that doesn’t mean we can’t fool around first,” I added. With that I pounced right back on top of his naked body.
In the middle of making out I realized I needed to tend to the grill. I sprang out of bed, threw on a pair of shorts and ran outside. I caught it just in time before becoming a charred disaster. I gave CK a pair of shorts and a t-shirt to wear. We made our way to the kitchen and filled out plates. We sat on the couch and ate off the coffee table while we started Revenge. We’d already both seen it, but I was in the process of delofting my bed while doing so. Some of the show would still be fresh to me.
We spent the remainder of the night on the couch in front of the TV in each other’s embrace while the rest of my roommates and their friends prepared for a night on the town. It was such a nice change when they all vacated the apartment. We started to fool around a little on the couch, and eventually we made our way back to my bedroom, where some of the fun just began.
Warning: The following may be too graphic for some. We started slow, but things quickly progressed. Before long, I was penetrating him. He was incredibly loud and the window was open. I was expecting to hear one of the neighbors yell out. I was also afraid my roommate or her friend who was sleeping over would wake up. His moaning could have woken the building up. I was happy to learn the bed was holding up quite well and not making a ruckus this time. When he needed a break, the make out session resumed. Then things flipped and I found myself on my back with my legs in the air. Before long, he got excited and finished on my chest. I cleaned up, and we lay there a bit in each other’s embrace. “I really want you to shoot all over me like that,” he said. That was all it took. That psyched me out enough that all I could concentrate on was finishing. It was sure not to happen. After long, we were spooning. “Should I turn out the light?” he asked. With that, we dozed off intertwined like a pile of TV cables.
Follow @onegayatatimeWhen It Rains, It Pours
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on June 1, 2012
Today is another Fast Forward Friday!!!
Hope you are enjoying these. It will help bring the blog a little closer to real-time. If you’re keeping up with the stories chronologically, please skip down to this morning’s post first, then read this one. I think it’s a good one! Enjoy!
Back to your special edition of One Gay At A Time…
Life was good. I finally met a man who seemed to be too good to be true. We’d already been on three unforgettable dates, and things were only getting better.
Saturday morning, I said goodbye to Clark Kent when I dropped him off in the city. I wanted to spend every waking minute with him, but things were still fresh and young for us. It’d only been a week. I needed to stop my habit of diving in head first, or I could be in for a world of hurt. Saturday night, I made plans with friends to go out. One of the guys I swam with in college asked me to come by to pregame and then go to the bar with him and some other friends. It’d been months since a request like that came in, so I was ready and raring to go. By the time I got ready to go out after running all my errands, they moved things to the bar. I met the group at Black Bear in Hoboken. These friends are serious triathletes, so they never go out, and when they do, they go to bed early. I also encouraged my other friend P to join us.
When I got to the bar, I sent CK a text to see what he was up to. He responded by telling me to come into the city and spend the night with him. Had he texted me a half hour earlier, I probably would have never entered the bar and would have gone straight into the city. I stepped outside to call him and explain. I really wanted to go see him since I couldn’t get enough of him, but P had just arrived. I didn’t want to ditch her. He fully understood. A small part of me wanted to ensure he wouldn’t get tired of me, so I thought some time apart would do us good.
I went back to the bar and had a good time with my friends. In true fashion, a half hour later, all but P made their way home to go to bed. It wasn’t even midnight yet. I told her all about CK and how amazing he was. I also told her about how I’d ended things with all the other guys. She kept asking things like, “Well, what about [X]? I thought you had a good date?” I explained to her that none of these guys were like my Superman. They didn’t measure up at all. She was impressed with my conviction and wished me luck, but she warned me not to get too far ahead of myself. P and I decided to go to another bar we enjoyed far more, Cooper’s Union, where we sit and chat while our favorite Hoboken bartender serves us.
Just as we were about to leave the bar, it started pouring. We agreed to call it a night instead. She hopped in a cab, and I made my way down the street home. I didn’t get far before I decided to run. I ripped off my soaking wet shirt and ran on my Cole Haans the dozen blocks home. When I got home, I texted CK to tell him about my “TV commercial-like sprint in the rain home.” (The Nike technology in Cole Haans really is amazing btw!). He responded back telling me how much he wished he’d seen me. He told me he was turned on by the mental picture. I achieved my goal. I knew exactly what I was doing when I sent that text to him. I wanted him to want me.
Sunday, I talked to CK, and we made plans for me to spend the night in the city. It made sense since he was so close to my office. I could bring clothes for work the next day and head straight there in the morning.
As the day progressed, the weather deteriorated. It was pouring. I made my way to his place around dinnertime soaked to the bone. I had my giant umbrella with me, but water-soaked my pants from the ground up. He stripped me of most of my clothes when I arrived, and we began fooling around immediately. This, of course, led to sex and some hot, sweaty fun.
I was happy to be spending a rainy night in with him. We had no plans and no obligations. We were simply going to cuddle in his apartment and watch something on his iPad. He offered to make me dinner, and I accepted. He told me his cooking abilities were limited, but he would whip up his specialty for me. I heard a lot going on in the kitchen while I sat in his living room. He wouldn’t let me help. He wanted to surprise me. When I came into the kitchen to give him a hug and kiss, I got my kiss but was ordered back to the couch.
Moments later, he brought me a plate full of salad with chunks of chicken and a tasty dressing. It was very good, and I enjoyed it thoroughly. That night, I would also learn of CK’s sweet tooth. We weren’t even done our salads before he was talking about dessert. He didn’t have anything in the apartment, but there was a bodega on the block. We would venture out into the rain to satisfy a craving for sweets. He offered for me to stay in the apartment and stay dry, but I insisted on coming with him.
We picked up Oreos, ice cream and some cheddar bread sticks and made our way back out into the rain. I was tempted the whole walk back to ask him to hold the umbrella while I ripped my shirt off and ran back to his apartment in the rain. The only thing that stopped me was that I’d have to stand in front of his doorman with no shirt on until he caught up, and I thought it might embarrass him. I chickened out! I was so disappointed in myself. I wanted to show him I didn’t take myself too seriously.
When we got back to his apartment, we dove into the ice cream and Oreos. He made each of us a bowl, and we cracked open the bread sticks. We sat in bed, and when we finished, we cuddled in front of his iPad watching Smash. Shortly thereafter, I dozed off in his arms. It was a perfect rainy night, and I truly looked forward to many others with him while I dreamed the night away.
The next morning, we fooled around before getting ready. While I showered, he made me a bowl of yogurt, fresh berries, honey and granola. It was delicious. He was really taking care of me.
Every moment made me fall for him more and more. We walked to my office together before he hopped on the subway, and I made my way inside. I was head over heels, and things were just starting. The possibilities were endless, and I planned to explore them all…
Follow @onegayatatimeFrom Metropolis to Hoboken
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on June 1, 2012
On April 20th, my blog turned one year old. I didn’t even realize the milestone was coming up until I looked back at the calendar on a whim one day. I felt the need to celebrate, but I hadn’t told Clark Kent about my blog yet. How could I tell him I wanted to celebrate something I didn’t feel comfortable sharing with him yet?
Instead, I celebrated privately with messages from friends and readers on the blog and over social media. I also had a date night planned with CK.
I invited him to come out to Hoboken for an evening ride on the bike since we weren’t able to do so the previous Sunday. This would be the first time he came out to Hoboken and would see my place. I was quite excited. I came home for work early after a pitch and made sure my place was acceptable.
He had to work slightly later and had to swing by home before he came over. It was a Friday night, and he would be spending it in my bed. As time passed, I sat on the couch patiently awaiting his arrival as the clock ticked on. I had no word from him. I tried calling, but no answer. Where was he? What was he doing? What was taking so long?
Since I was a little broken from previous relationships, my mind began to get creative with where he may have been or what/who he may have been doing. Finally, I convinced myself to put those thoughts out of my head. They weren’t born of any behavior he exhibited. They were simply a spawn of his presence on Grindr. I needed to learn to trust again. The thoughts were gone, and all I could think about was seeing him.
He finally arrived in Hoboken around 8:00. I wanted to watch the sunset with him. The way it reflects off the city skyline is breathtaking, however, the sun had completely set. We’d be taking a ride in the dark.
I picked him up on the bike at the PATH, and we set off along the waterfront to the palisades of Weehawken. I wanted to show him a spectacular view while taking the bike out for a spin. He’d been so excited about it ever since he first learned of its existence.
I really relished having him ride behind me. He pulled himself in tight against me. It was incredibly romantic, and I loved how he wrapped his arms around me. I felt like a great protector.
When we got to the palisades, we parked the bike and took a short stroll along the cliff. We talked while hugging and kissing each other with the spectacular NYC skyline in our periphery. We happened upon a family taking pictures of each other with the city in the background. He offered to take the picture so everyone could get in the shot. I thought it was incredibly sweet of him, and I fell for him a little more at that moment. Every moment with him made me want him all the more. Again, I wouldn’t let myself get too wrapped up in him. It was still early. I didn’t even know if he was interested in a relationship, let alone one with me.
After taking the picture, I told him about my desire to prank tourists in NYC. I would offer to take a picture of them. Just as I was about to snap the picture, I would turn as if to run. When they began to chase after me, I would turn around and snap a picture. It would give them a great experience and a fun story to tell for the rest of their lives, and they’d have a picture to accompany it. He thought this was brilliant and commented on his desire to do this himself.
That’s also when I told him about my life’s to-do list. I told him I wanted to share it with him later because it spoke volumes about me.
We made our way back to the bike and decided to grab dinner back in Hoboken. I knew of a great spot everyone had been telling me to check out but had not been to yet, Bin 14. We rode down the hill from the palisade and made our way back to Hoboken along the river.
I found a spot to park, and we walked to the restaurant holding hands. I wasn’t yet comfortable doing this in Hoboken, but it was something I needed to get over. I would be gay for the rest of my life. If I wasn’t okay showing affection in public, I was in for a lot of headaches going forward. Since we didn’t have a reservation, they asked if we minded sitting outside. I preferred it actually. However, this posed a new situation for me again. We would be street side, and if I wanted to show affection, all of Hoboken could see — Or at least that’s how it felt.
Slowly but surely, I got over this. I was rubbing his knee under the table and exchanging kisses over our meal. I didn’t care who was looking. I still felt a little self-conscious, but I was proud of myself for getting over this.
After discussing wine at length, we agreed upon a nice bottle of Malbec. It took us some time to figure out how to order from the tapas like menu. We still hadn’t figured out our sharing dinner groove, but it was fun to learn this together. I came to find we shared a lot of the same tastes and likes. It also helped we were both share quite an adventurous palette. We ordered a few plates and told the waiter we would continue to order until we had our fill.
The food was great, and the conversation was even better. I was still getting to know him, and I was mesmerized by his smile the entire meal. I was gaga for this guy. If it turned out he wasn’t interested in pursuing a relationship with me, I was going to be heartbroken. I was past the point of protecting myself. I’d already cracked the candy shell. Now, I was in his hands.
We declined dessert, and I made sure to give the waiter my credit card to pay the bill before CK even had a chance to think about it. This date was going to be my treat. I liked this new system. With all the other guys I dated, we both threw down our credit cards and split everything. This felt more like dating and more like a relationship. Each date felt special because one of us was treating the other to it.
We hopped back on the bike and rode back to my apartment. When we got there, it was already fairly late, so we headed straight to my bedroom. I was just finishing removing my shoes when he shoved me backward onto my bed. Since it was up on risers, the bed shifted to the side and collapsed. He was so scared he’d broken my bed, but I assured him it was already an issue. This had already happened with N once before. I’d already been searching for a new sturdy bed not on risers, and this would be the impetus that forced me to address the issue with much more vigor.
We fixed the bed as best we could and continued to make out. It’d been a week since we were last together, so of course we were both horny for each other. I hadn’t had sex since we last saw each other, but I wasn’t sure I could say the same for him. We hadn’t crossed the monogamous relationship bridge yet, and I had no right to ask that question yet. We’d only been dating a week. One step at a time I told myself.
Warning: The following may be too graphic for some. Regardless, we found ourselves naked, and I was grinding on his backside. Our passion was elevated to a new level, and we were all over each other. I couldn’t get enough of his body — It was purely amazing. I’d never been with someone so handsome, so sexy, so fit, so sexual. He was like nothing I’d ever experienced before.
Eventually, he reached behind himself, grabbed hold of my manhood and directed it in until I found myself deep inside him. Amazing sex ensued until we both had our fill.
I was incredibly happy once again. I had a man who could come to dinner and hold a great conversation, and a man who could satisfy all my sexual desires. He was the best of both worlds.
With that, we cleaned up and climbed back into bed. I was happy to finally be sharing my bed with him. This would be the first time in a long time my California king was being put to good use. We fell asleep in each other’s arms. He was my little spoon. Throughout the night, we changed positions many times, but never fully woke up. We slept great.
When we woke in the morning, CK had to head back into the city to begin apartment hunting. He’d been putting it off and needed to put his nose to the grindstone. We stopped for a delightful breakfast at Ganache while we got to know more about each other. When we finished, we rode through the Lincoln tunnel into the city. I couldn’t drop him in front of his building because there was a parade going up his street, so we said goodbye to each other in front of the Empire State Building. I couldn’t think of a more romantic way to begin my Saturday…
Tying Up Loose Ends
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on May 31, 2012
It was happening. I was falling for this great guy who managed to find me on Grindr. Who would have thought? I was still quite unsure how he felt about me, but I still had no luck finding a single fault in him.
I was prepared to take things slow with Clark Kent. I saw no need to rush things. Dating all these men in NYC helped me relax and enjoy things in real time. I didn’t need to think about what was coming next. I only needed to think about what was happening now. I was enjoying his company immensely.
That being said, I needed to tie up some loose ends. I had no desire to see any other guys while seeing CK. He was great, and he kept my attention. I didn’t want to wander and philander. I wanted him and him alone.
The first loose end to tie up was Southern Drawl. It took me two weeks to realize he wasn’t right for me. He’d gone home to the South to visit family, and it offered me a necessary reprieve from him. He sent me a few pictures from down there and a few texts. I responded in turn, but they were very short. When he asked how my day was going, I responded with what I’d done that day. “Well thanks for the play by play. Enjoy the rest of your week. Let me know if you wanna hang out again when I get back,” he responded. I wasn’t going to take that lying down. “Whoa! Where’s the hostility coming from?”
He apologized and explained he didn’t mean it that way. “How bout enjoy the rest of your week, and I look forward to hanging with you sometime when I get back 🙂 xoxo,” he added. I told him we only knew each other a short period of time and warned him not to get ahead of himself. I was using this turn of events to drive a rift between us.
He texted: “Well, that was a joke, but point taken. Wow! So I’ll go back to your statement from a few months ago. Ball is in your court. Otherwise, you won’t be hearing from me.” I reminded him to recall who picked that ball up again in the end. Then came the clincher: “Well, I guess I dropped it cause I’m being drunk and stupid again. Oh well. That ‘let’s not get ahead of ourselves’ $hit just irked me. So Grindr away, do your thing and hit me up if you want to hang out sometime. No hard feelings if not. I’ve learned my lesson about guys in the city and was a dumba$$ to think you could be different. But that’s my fault, not yours.”
I had my out. I wasn’t going to let him talk to me like that. I wasn’t going to try to foster a relationship with someone who made such accusations. We’d known each other two weeks, and I was already getting drunken rants. This wasn’t a good sign of what was to come.
In my book, he was done. I deserved an apology, and until I got one, I wasn’t going to communicate with him. I was going to give him a day to apologize. Just when I was about to inform him he’d killed any chance with me, he texted, “Had a rough night last night. Whiskey on the river. Bad combo.” This was an excuse, not an apology — Unacceptable. Two days later, I responded, “Still waiting for an apology. You were way out of line, and I did nothing to deserve your assumptions!”
He apologized profusely and cited more reasons why he’d been so harsh. “You’re an incredible guy, but if you never want to hang out again, I get it. But, for the record, I did miss talking to you and stuff this week,” he texted. He still seemed to be making excuses for himself. I didn’t respond. A day later, he said, “So, I guess that’s it then, huh?”
I was done with him. I told him from the start I don’t play these games. It seemed to be his mode of operation. I simply replied, “I think we should try friends for a bit. I get that you were drunk, but drunk minds speak a sober heart…” He asked if we could talk and tried calling me. I texted back telling him I was still at work, which was the truth. He started playing the martyr and going off on me. I told him to stop being so melodramatic. When I left work to grab dinner before returning to the office, I called him.
We talked for about a half hour. I explained to him all the things he did and how they were wrong. He didn’t even realize all the things he was doing. I pointed out how he was unloading all his baggage on me and how unfair that was. I did nothing to deserve that. I proposed we take a big step back and work on a legitimate friendship first. In reality, I was pretty much done with him. I was purely being polite. He was a decent guy, but he was a little broken.
He wasn’t satisfied with this and wanted to redeem himself, but I gave him an ultimatum. I said we could either be friends, or we could be nothing. That was his choice. It all depended on his future actions toward me.
As time progressed, and I was too busy to hang out with him when he asked me to, he began getting very snippy with me. I suggested a happy hour drink, but that went south fast. His sarcasm came out in full force until I said, “On second thought, maybe that was a bad idea.” I pointed out to him how combative he was toward me and said obviously this wasn’t going to work out between us. I gave him my work address so he could mail me back the sunglasses he borrowed from me. I didn’t even want to have to go through seeing him again. He’d gotten on my last nerve.
He told me how hurt he was by the whole thing, but I pointed out to him it was all of his own doing. He never treated me with trust and respect before he even had any reason to doubt me. I wasn’t going to take any more of his crap. I’d already dealt with enough. He couldn’t understand how his going off on a drunken tirade toward me was such a deal breaker. “It just doesn’t add up,” he said.
He was clearly hurting. I know this because he typed it out in black and white. “I’m miserable right now,” the text read.
He told me to delete him from my phone and he planned to delete me from his. In another instance, he said, “And for the record, I’m truly upset. You’re one of the good ones. And I’m a piece of $hit to write off apparently.” He wasn’t going to guilt me into liking him again. It was OVER!
That left two other loose ends to tie up. I had been meaning to text the Jersey City athlete for some time. He seemed like a really nice guy, and we got along great, but he was no CK. I needed to be fair to him and let him know what’s up. I texted him and said, “Hey dude. I def owe you a text and an explanation… I had a great time with you that one night, but at the same time, I’d also just met someone. I want to let you know I think you’re a great guy, but things have progressed. And, I want to give this a shot. I hope you understand and don’t take it personally! And I apologize since this message is long overdue!” He responded quickly, saying, I completely understand. I’m in a similar situation myself actually. When it rains, it pours, right?” I was happy to hear he was cool with things. I added, “LOL. Yes. Glad to hear. Maybe we can hang out again sometime and build a friendship?…” He responded, “I’d like that.”
After that, we chatted a few times on Facebook. I asked him how things were going with his new man, but learned the guy simply stopped responding to him. Turns out it was one of my neighbors. We still haven’t found time to hang out as friends, but I’m sure it will happen sometime. I need to have a gay friend nearby these days…
Middle Eastern and I hadn’t seen each other in quite some time. He’d text periodically to see how I was doing, but we made no plans to see each other. I was still a little put off from the time he told me he’d come over and never did.
At one point, he asked if we could hang out again. I told him that would definitely work. I was not opposed to hanging out, but that would be all that transpired between us. No more sex. No more intimacy. We’d purely be friends. It wouldn’t be easy, because we did have a great deal of fun in bed, but I had faith I could do it.
The time came for me to tell him I’d met someone else. “So anything new?” he texted one day. “Actually, yes. I’ve recently started dating someone. Been trying to figure out a way to bring it up… I hope you understand,” I responded. Immediately, he shot back, “Well, I’m definitely happy for you :). And I’m glad you told me. Kinda stung a little, not gonna lie about that.”
I felt really bad. I did like him a great deal, and I didn’t want to hurt him. There was no easy way to tell him, so honesty would be the only way to go. “Sorry! Hence my hesitation. You’re a great guy, and I hope we can be friends!! You kinda disappeared on me. Seemed like you met someone else. I put myself out there and met someone…” I added. He expressed how he was really happy for me and pointed out it just wasn’t meant to be. I told him he deserved someone young and fun and told him I really meant it about being friends. “Maybe. When I get over you. Of course I wanna be friends with you. We discussed grabbing a drink sometime, but that still had yet to happen. Some day we’ll find the time to hang out and become good friends.
And just like that, all loose ends were tied up. It wasn’t easy, but it was over. Now, I could concentrate all my efforts on the new man in my life — Clark Kent. The man who cut the roster down to one.
We tried to make plans to see each other during the week, but it never seemed to work out. Instead, we’d have to wait until the weekend to see each other again. It wasn’t easy, but it would have to do. I didn’t want to do anything to scare him off. I was too infatuated to lose him already. I would be patient. I would wait for things to happen naturally. I would finally do things right, and hopefully, by putting everything I’d learned from all the men I dated, I would find true love.
P.S. I still don’t have my sunglasses…
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Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on May 29, 2012
I’d begun an amazing date with a spectacular man, and I couldn’t wait for what was to come next. Although I had been to Frankies 570 multiple times before with multiple dates, this time was special. I had an amazing guy to share a meal with. Ironically, my meal from days prior was so good, I ordered the same the again.
Conversation over dinner we great. It flowed like water downhill. We were both very flirtatious and chatty. On many of my other dates, there were long awkward pauses, but not on this one. Everything was just so easy. When I excuse myself to go to the bathroom, he leaned in requesting a kiss first. It was incredibly sweet and adorable. I really liked this guy. He was everything I was looking for.
I was just taking extra care to make sure I didn’t get ahead of myself. I had a history of falling for guys who would hurt me or not be interested in pursuing anything further. While in the restroom, I looked in the mirror to keep myself centered. All I could do was smile at my reflection like a giddy schoolgirl.
When I returned to the table, the conversation picked back up where we left off. My hand was on his leg under the table. His body language was very positive.
Our meals came, and we shared them with each other. Both of us were very happy with our selections. When the meal ended, we agreed to order a dessert to share. We got the crème-brulee. I dug my spoon into it and fed him a spoonful. It felt incredibly romantic. He smiled as his mouth closed around the spoon. We finished dessert and began to chat about what to do next. He was dancing around what I can only assume were his true motives. He said, “We can go have more drinks.” I interjected, “I don’t want to drink anymore.” “We can drop our bags at my place and go out. We could grab Pinkberry…” he added. I cut him off at the pass saying, “You can stop dancing around it. We can go back to your place.” He immediately smiled and agreed that was the best idea.
I wasn’t thinking we were going back to his place for sex. I knew there would be making out and a lot of heavy petting, but I wasn’t planning to give it up that easily. We hopped in a cab back to his apartment. He asked if I wanted to go to the roof, and I told him I would default to him. We were on his home turf. He could run the show. I picked the bar and restaurant. It was his turn to drive. Before we got to his place, he warned me of the condition of it. He informed me he lived like a frat boy.
When we got to his place, we stopped in his apartment on our way to the roof. I didn’t think he was as bad as he let on. We began making out on the bed. This, of course, led to many other things. Slowly but surely, clothes started landing on the floor in scattered piles. Eventually, we fond ourselves naked and engaging in a myriad of sexual acts, but penetration would never occur.
He was a very passionate man. I have found it nearly impossible to find a man whose intellect, wit and sense of adventure outside the bedroom matched their passion in the bedroom. He was a diamond in the rough. I wasn’t going to let this one go without a fight.
I noticed he was very into music. It was like he needed a soundtrack. I liked it. Every minute I was learning something new about him, and it was all making me like him even more.
We never made it to the roof. We ended up passing out on top of each other’s naked body. In the middle of the night, we both woke up. It was around 2:00. He offered for me to stay. I was under the impression that was already happening. I assumed I would just stay the night. We cuddled some more, and he turned out the lights.
When we woke in the morning, things weren’t awkward at all. I felt very comfortable with him. We talked about how we didn’t have sex and how that made us both happy. We didn’t need to rush things. I mean, I was spending the night on a first date, but I was happy true sex didn’t occur. I was also thrilled he was the type of guy who would just bring that up and not keep it inside for fear of saying the wrong thing. He spoke his mind. I needed to get back to that. Being with him might help me get back to that.
He was amazing. There was no question about it. We were both starving and decided to get dressed to hunt for some breakfast. We stopped by a few places before finally settling on Jimmy’s American Grill and Bar. We grabbed a table outside and picked up the conversation where we left off the previous night.
I let my freak flag fly. I felt so free with him. I told him all about me and my idiosyncrasies. I explained my Christmas Bash and all the work I put into it. He referred to me as Martha Stewart, and I expressed my hatred for that referral. I didn’t like that my cooking and entertaining had a feminine connotation. I told him I was more the Nate Berkus type. He laughed and agreed it was a better reference. I told him about my crazy coworkers and how we would make an amazing reality show. I told him about growing up on a farm. Everything I could think of, I brought out. He loved it all! I learned about where he grew up and his career in advertising. Every word made me like him more and more. He also told me about his friends. They texted him while we were eating to ask him to come to brunch 2.0.
Somehow, we got on the topic of The Hunger Games. I was reading the books, and he had already seen the movie. I told him I was looking forward to seeing the movie. He told me he would go see it again and asked if we could go see it Sunday. You could have knocked me over with a feather. He was already planning date number two before date number one concluded. I was thrilled and immediately accepted.
He walked me to the PATH to say goodbye before heading downtown to meet his friends at Elmo. We kissed each other goodbye and gave a long lasting hug. There was a homeless man panhandling next to us who said, “Get a room,” through a smile. He began laughing, and I started to crack up since I was the one facing him. I said to my amazing date, “That made my day.” Immediately, he replied, “You made my day.” I was in heaven. I said goodbye and went down the stairs to the train.
Later, I learned from checking his Twitter that when he checked in at dinner on Foursquare, he wrote, “Easy conversation + tasty food + hot boy = great date on a Fri night (@ Frankies 570 w/ 2 others)” and the next day at brunch, “When last night’s date becomes this afternoon’s brunch date (@ Jimmy’s American Grill & Bar). He really did like me. I was just finding it hard to take. It was like a dream. I couldn’t really believe it. I didn’t want to get too excited because I didn’t want to get hurt. But, honestly, who gives a f*ck. I was happy, and that was all I cared about.
The One I’ve Been Waiting For
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on May 25, 2012
Today is another Fast Forward Friday!!!
Hope you are enjoying these. It will help bring the blog a little closer to real-time. If you’re keeping up with the stories chronologically, please skip down to this morning’s post first, then read this one. I think it’s a good one! Enjoy!
Never before have I prefaced an entry by giving away some of the details of what’s to follow, however, I’ve received numerous comments from readers tired of reading my “sex journal.”
“Your blog used to be interesting when it was about your relationship with your ex bfs, but it turned me off when it became a sex journal,” wrote one reader.
We’re both on the same page here. I dislike writing about these trysts as much as you dislike reading about them. It’s bad enough I’ve lived them once, let alone having to live them all over again when I write them.
So, without further ado, I am pleased to present you a love story…
On a Wednesday morning in April, while on my way to work, I happened to poke around on Grindr a bit. There was a message from an interesting guy on there. We began to chat a bit while I walked. He seemed pretty cool. I was about to head underground, so I quickly asked him for his phone number so we could continue the conversation on the other side.
We chatted a bit over text, and I came to learn a few things about him. I explained to him I wasn’t looking for sex, so if this was his motive, he should move on now. I was there purely for dates and friends. He seemed okay with that sentiment, and the conversation continued for a bit. I tried to check his spontaneity and asked if he would be interested in drinks that evening. He couldn’t because he had to work late. That’s when I learned he worked in advertising. I explained to him, if anyone understood working late for a pitch, it was I. I explained I too worked in advertising. When he told me he worked downtown, I started guessing what agency. Ironically enough, he worked for my previous agency. He worked closely with one of my favorite ex-coworkers. We were really hitting it off and I was excited to meet him. We agreed to make plans in the near future.
Wednesday evening, I was on my way home from a mediocre date. I fired up Grindr on the bus ride home and noticed he was on. I messaged him to say hi. He and asked what I was up to. When I told him I was on my way home from work, he responded, “You’re kidding me! Let’s f*ck.” My heart sank immediately. I had such high hopes for him. I was crushed. “You don’t know who you’re talking to do you? This is [O.G.A.A.T.],” I shot back. He admitted to confusing me with someone else and began damage control. I think he immediately realized he lost any shot of anything with me, however, he still took the time to apologize profusely.
If you know me at all, you know I give second chances out fairly often. I decided to lay on the guilt a little bit, but also give him the opportunity to redeem himself. As I got off the bus, I picked up the phone and called him. His timing caught me at a vulnerable moment. I was turning my dating life around. I told him what he did wasn’t cool. Again he apologized. I told him I would turn a blind eye this once for one reason; a few days prior, I probably would have said the same thing on Grindr. I couldn’t hold it against him when I too had treated Grindr in this way. He fully comprehended what I was saying and promised not to let me down.
The following day, I asked him if he would be interested in drinks Friday for happy hour. He immediately agreed that would be a great idea. When Friday arrived, we made more definitive plans. Since I was done work before he was, I offered to come down to his neighborhood. I just told him to text me when I should start walking down there, and he did. I texted him when I got the bar, but he was still working. I told him I’d hang out by the bar for a bit. I walked a block to Starbucks, got a coffee and wrote a blog post. I needed a kick in the a$$, considering it was a Friday night after a long week. When nearly an hour passed, my patience was at its end. This guy was not winning me over by any means. I was a block away from the PATH and very tempted to just leave. Just as I was closing my laptop, I got a text from him. He was on his way.
We met on the street in front of Employees Only. He’d never been before, so I led us inside to order a round of drinks and find a wall to lean against. He apologized for taking so long and explained what was going through his head. He was working on something late and told the editor they’d need to pick it up again on Monday. He’d already used up one of his chances with me. If he messed this one up, there’d be no redemption. I thought it was cute, and I loved his honesty. We talked about our jobs and our shared favorite coworker. I told him about my coworkers and how we’d be excellent fodder for a reality show. (I really work with a circus of a crew, but I love them!)
We were really hitting it off. Everything just felt so easy. He was also incredibly easy on the eyes. I felt I was a bit out of my league here. He was five years my senior, gorgeous, smart, witty, well spoken, had a solid job, etc. Basically, he was the full package. I already knew he had a healthy libido as well, so we’d probably be fine there.
After two rounds of drinks, he took the opportunity to kiss me. I can’t tell you how much I loved that kiss. He was a real man, and he kissed me. I was crazy swooning. We decided to make moves. In our conversation, I was talking about what I do in my free time and mentioned the pier I lounge on directly across from the Christopher Street pier. He suggested we take a walk out there before grabbing a bite to eat somewhere.
We walked holding hands to the end of the pier. He took my bag, set it on the ground with his own, and we walked to the railing. He stood facing the water and pulled me in, wrapping my arms around him. It was incredibly romantic. While we talked, I nuzzled his neck. Things were so easy with him. There was no drama. There were no games. There was just us. I couldn’t believe an hour earlier I was ready to abandon our date and go home.
He turned around and hiked himself up so he was sitting on the railing dangling over the river. I was between his legs with my arms wrapped around him while we chatted. I decided to tell him how new to the game I was and tell him my coming out story. I figured I might as well get that out of the way, because if it was going to scare him off, I figured it was better sooner rather than later since I’d already grown so attached to him. He was totally cool about it. This is also when I learned our age difference of five years. Obviously I was fine with that considering Smiles was nine years my senior. He was cool with that as well.
As we walked to find dinner, he told me about his coming out story. It was interesting and not all that different from mine. I learned he was bisexual through college, which actually was reassuring to me. I liked men that had experience with women as well. It wasn’t a necessary skill I needed to see them utilize. I just liked knowing they’d experienced women as well and realized they were more attracted to men. It also generally proved to produce more masculine men, which I’m far more attracted to. I also learned in that conversation he was a cancer survivor. I didn’t know how this guy could get any better. He was like Superman.
The date was off to an amazing start. We were walking hand-in-hand to find dinner somewhere, and I didn’t want the date to end. I was on cloud nine. I think I floated the whole way. We finally arrived at a spot I was quite familiar with, Frankies 570. So familiar, in fact, I’d been there a few days prior. The date was just beginning. I couldn’t wait for the next course…
Follow @onegayatatimeA Child’s Plaything
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on May 25, 2012
A Thursday finally arrived where I didn’t have volleyball. I thought I would capitalize on this opportunity and do something with my night.
Southern Drawl was visiting home in the South, and I was in the process of dissolving things between he and I. Slowly but surely, I would draw back communications until it was over. I had a great date night with the Jersey City athlete the night before, and only time would tell where that was headed.
That left Middle Eastern. Things between he and I had become purely physical. I liked him, but I was not interested in a relationship with him. He was still in college and apparently entertaining other offers. We had chatted about us over text. He said, “I was just keeping my distance because I am getting too attached to you. And I don’t know what’s happening between us. It sucks because I miss you. Have you slept with someone else in the past week?” I said no. I lied because in truth I had slept with S.D., however, we didn’t have sex. “So what’s happening between us. I get nervous when I think about it. I have an amazing time every time I see you. I don’t want to get stuck in the just friends phase,” he stated.
I had been waiting for this question for some time. I told him, “To be honest, I don’t know. I’ve taken things too fast in the past, and I’m trying to get away from that.” I was being honest now. I didn’t know what we were. We were both on the same page that we enjoyed each other’s company, and we were having fun together in bed. He would send me scandalous picture messages of himself and tell me how much he wanted to see me. I’d put him on the back-burner for a little bit since he grew quite attached. We also went through the Grindr thing, so I wanted things to cool down. He added, “I honestly still don’t know how you feel about me. I’m not asking you to be in a relationship or anything. I know you’ve told me where you stand.” I reassured him, “Just taking it one day at a time and enjoying it along the way. I like you, and if I didn’t, I’d have moved on a long time ago. He responded, “I’m enjoying this too. I don’t know. Like it’s a little hard because I wanna have fun, but in my mind, I have fun and emotions kind of together. So, it’s hard for me to say I’m not emotionally attached to you in any way. So I just get a little scared because I thought you’re going to move on when you get bored with me.”
I explained further, “I never said I wasn’t emotionally attached to you. I don’t know what this is, but I can assure you it’s more than just sex!” He apologized for being a head-case, and we began to discuss our plans for the evening.
That being said, I did want to be with him. He was great in bed, and it had been some time since I last had sex. I texted him to see what he was up to. “Busy tonight?” I texted. He was still in class, but he had plans to come to Hoboken later that evening. I told him, “So I take it you met someone else…” He adamantly denied meeting someone else and told me he would possibly be able to swing by after class. “Maybe I can sneak out. I really want to see you,”he added. We continued to talk over text trying to make plans to see each other. I didn’t really fit into his plans that evening, but he was making an effort. He got me horny, and I sent him some of my sexier pictures. He responded, “No, no. Don’t do this to me! I’m in class, and I’m wearing tight pants!” I laughed at the thought and continued to send more pictures.
Eventually, he had to bail on coming to see me before going out with his friends in Hoboken. I had been sitting on the couch waiting for him and was quite disappointed. “I hate disappointing you,” he shot back. I simply sent him another sexy picture. He told me he would sneak away from his friends and come see me at some point. When 9:30 rolled around, I sent him a text telling him to have a fun night. Around 11:00, I texted him again. “Wish I didn’t get my hopes up, ” I added for dramatic effect. He apologized, but I was already quite disappointed and ready to move on from him.
He texted the following day to let me know he was using my picture to pleasure himself. I didn’t respond. He told me he would swing by the previous night, and he didn’t deliver. I sat at home alone on the couch in hopes he’d come, and he never did. I was angry with myself for getting so caught up in him. I decided I needed to move on from him. My roster was now cut down to one single possibility.
Follow @onegayatatimeAnother Boring Date
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on May 23, 2012
Tuesday night, I was happy to be home. My date with S.D. wasn’t bad, but it helped me realize he wasn’t the guy for me. We had too many differences of opinion.
I noticed on my calendar Broadway‘s birthday had arrived. I made sure to call him to wish him a happy birthday, but he didn’t answer. If I recalled correctly, he was in California for a vacation. I left him a message and told him to call me when he had a free second. I didn’t hear back from him for over a week. I was a little disappointed, however, we still maintain a friendship. His friendship is important to me.
On my walk to work Wednesday morning, I checked my Grindr messages. I began to chat with one guy, but that’s another story for another day…
I had a date planned that Wednesday with a guy I chatted with on OKCupid, but he ended up bailing on me at the last-minute. This time, I had no one waiting in the wings. I debated just lying low and going home after work, but another part of me didn’t want to waste a free night. I thought I’d reach out to my current roster to see if any of the guys were free to meet. I figured I might as well get a first date out of the way while I had the time. I was really looking at dating like a job. This was bad policy, but with someone like me who has a busy schedule, you gotta do what you gotta do. I sent out feelers to the guys to see who was available to grab a drink after work.
Ironically, two of the guys responded. One was in Hell’s Kitchen and the other lived in Jersey City. I wondered if I could schedule them both in the same night. Hell’s Kitchen would work out because I could just take the bus home, and Jersey City could work if he came to Hoboken to grab a coffee or a drink when I got home later. I wasn’t all that psyched about the guy from Hell’s Kitchen, so I assumed it would be a short date and work out.
The first guy picked a nice restaurant, Pier 9, at the north end of Hell’s Kitchen to grab a drink and maybe an appetizer. It just so happened to be right across the street from his apartment. We met just inside the restaurant. I wasn’t excited by what I saw. He wasn’t unattractive, but he wasn’t attractive either. That being said, I wasn’t writing him off based on looks.
He was a regular here. He knew a lot of the wait staff, and they took good care of him. We grabbed a seat and began to chat.
The conversation was pretty relaxed. We both decided to order wine, and since it was happy hour, we split a bottle at half price. We also noticed a great edamame appetizer on the table next to us and ordered that to split while we got to know each other. It was a very nice place, and the wait staff was super sweet to us. They could tell we were on a date and treated us as such.
We talked about our jobs, our families, life in the city, etc. It was nice conversation. Nothing was forced or awkward, but there was no spark either. He seemed like a really nice guy, and we agreed on a lot of things. I could see us getting along really well, but more in a friendship capacity than a dating one. I could see him being a good date for Sunday morning brunch to talk about the weekend and talk about guys.
We were there for a decent chunk of time. The date lasted about an hour all said and done. We finished the bottle and the appetizer and decided it was time to head out. I could tell he didn’t find a strong connection there either. I had to initiate the goodbye hug, and there certainly was no feeling behind it. This would make things easier. We left with the same expectations of not hearing from the other much after we parted ways.
As I walked to the bus, I started texting the guy from Jersey City. We’d talked more than a few times before. We’d become Facebook friends, and I was supposed to see him on Hoboken St. Patty’s when he was attending the gay party across the street from my apartment, but he never made it. I asked him to an unconventional date. I lined it up for him to come to my place and just relax with a glass of wine. He agreed that sounded like a great idea, so he came over shortly after I came home. We were finally making time to meet up in person…
Follow @onegayatatimeIs This Really Working?
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on May 22, 2012
Since my last date with Southern Drawl, he had been bothering me for another date. I was trying to take things slow with him. I wasn’t gaga for him by any means. He was growing on me a little, but he still left a lot to be desired.
We made plans to make plans after work Tuesday evening. I left work when he was about finished after trying to bang out a blog entry and made my way downtown to his office. I waited for him on the street corner to finish work for about ten minutes when it began to drizzle. I had not expected rain at all and had no umbrella. I was growing impatient. I called him, but he didn’t answer. Finally, I noticed him walking up to me at a very slow pace with his headphones attached to his phone.
Normally, I would greet someone I’d gone on this many dates with a kiss, but not him. He was too self-conscious. He was not out and was not comfortable with public displays of affection. This bothered me. I needed someone who could love himself enough to not care about everyone else.
We decided to walk downtown on the High Line. I climbed the stairs, and he walked behind me. We took a nice stroll south to find a place to grab dinner. We didn’t have a place in mind, but we had a neighborhood — the West Village. We talked about our days while we walked. Once again, he made a crack, and I didn’t respond well. It was always hard to gauge his sense of humor. We never seemed to be on the same page. If I joked back, he would tell me I was getting defensive and loud. It was insulting. He obviously didn’t get my sarcastic sense of humor.
When we reached the end of the High Line, we descended the stairwell and walked to find food. We passed more than a few places that looked good, but they didn’t have any available tables. They were either too crowded or they appeared non-desirable. We finally came to Frankies 570. I had been there, and the food is amazing. I hesitated going there for a solid second because I already had memories with Smiles there. We shared a really nice meal there one night after work. Then I thought about it, and it made more sense for me to expunge those memories. I could overwrite them with new ones. I didn’t exactly have positive associations with him. I felt used by him as a meal companion.
I suggested it to S.D., and we perused menu before going in. He agreed on the spot and was seated by the front widow at a nice table for two. We ordered drinks and chatted casually. It was nice to sit and relax and just talk about things and my day. We discussed his coming trip home. He was very excited. This would be the last time I saw him before he left. He told me he’d be sending me a lot of pictures from home and would call periodically.
Throughout dinner, he was much more demur than usual. There were no overtly sexual comments and no innuendoes. It was kinda nice. He asked a lot of questions as well. Usually, he was just talking away. It was nice to talk about our upbringings and his home, however, his sense of entitlement was still shining through. He spoke about politics and slavery. He told me stories of his family and how they basically still had slaves. He certainly wasn’t winning me over. I was never all that thrilled with the South’s way of doing things, and he was certainly perpetuating the stereotype in my mind. I also learned how important money is to him, and it was a real turnoff.
Slowly but surely, I was realizing this guy really wasn’t right for me. We had so little in common. I was simply enamored by someone paying attention to me and being interested in me. We were in a downward spiral.
On the positive side, my meal was spectacular. I ordered the rabbit ragu and enjoyed every bite. My drinks was pretty amazing as well.
When we finished eating, we sat there talking a bit more before heading out. When we finished our drinks, he accidentally spilled his water all over me. It was a bit humorous because we were just joking about it, and it embarrassed him immensely. The table next to us took notice of the large commotion this caused, as did the wait staff. We paid our tab and made our way out into the street.
He walked me to the corner to say goodbye. I could tell he was very uncomfortable. I was a block from the PATH and ready to head home. I was not going to a second location, and I was not going home with him. I think he was itching to hang out more, but I wasn’t interested. Just as I was about to go in for a kiss, he turned his head. I was partially p*ssed and partially happy. This was creating an out for me. I scoffed at him and began to walk across the street to go home. He chased me and stopped me on the other side of the street. I told him what he did was not cool at all. As he went in for a kiss, I played along, and at the last second, I too turned my head. Just then, a man was crossing the street and witnessed this. He began to chuckle to himself, and I pointed this out to S.D. He was embarrassed. It served him right. If he thought he had a chance with me, he’d have to sack up. I wasn’t about to date a closet case. I’d moved past that.
We said our goodbyes, and we finally did share a kiss. There was nothing magical. He was still self-conscious. He may have made a good friend, but I couldn’t see myself with him in a relationship. I finally came to see the light. I said goodnight and hailed him a cab. I put him in the cab and said goodbye. I wouldn’t see him for over a week. This would give time for things to settle and fizzle out. I wasn’t going to end things over the phone across state lines, but I wasn’t going to make myself available while he was gone.
After all, I was back out there searching for a real prospect. I needed a real man who could make me happy. I didn’t need to settle on a guy like this. I live in NYC. I fired up Grindr to check my messages on my walk home. There are great gay men everywhere. Now, they just needed to find me…
Follow @onegayatatimeAt the ripe age of 26, I came to a life changing conclusion. I'm GAY!
It took me 26 years to realize this and come to terms with it, but coming out's been the best decision of my life.
This blog is about my dating life in NYC and what happens next...
One Gay at a Time 
Superman Returns
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on May 30, 2012
Sunday, I made plans with my Superman — My Clark Kent. I was very excited and could hardly wait.
I texted him and invited him to come over to Hoboken. We would take the motorcycle out for a ride before the movie. I ran a lot of errands that morning in anticipation of his arrival later in the afternoon. As the day progressed, the weather looked like it would cooperate less and less. The sky was covered with clouds and the wind picked up significantly. It looked like it would rain any minute.
I texted CK and suggested we hold off on the ride, and I just come into the city to see the movie. It would make things less complicated, and it would give him something to look forward to in the future.
He agreed with the new plan. I met him at his apartment with plenty of time to catch the movie. He suggested we hit up the rooftop since I didn’t get to see it the first time I was there. How could I say no to that? When I got to his apartment, we went directly up to the roof. We spent time checking out the sights, cuddling and taking pictures like we’ve been a couple for a year already. I was crushing hard!
We sat and talked, and he suggested we catch a later showing so we could relax and not have to rush to the theater. I wasn’t going to object to anything at this point. I was so happy. I was just going to go with the flow.
We finally made our way to the theater. He insisted on buying my ticket. I protested since there was no reason I couldn’t pay for myself, but he continued to insist. He wanted this to be his treat. I relented, but was sure to pick up the tab for the pretzel bites and soda.
We made our way into the theater and got great seats. Almost immediately, the PDA began between us. It wasn’t gag yourself PDA. We were simply holding hands or caressing each other’s arms. It was my kind of PDA. I was quite enjoying myself!
We held hands while we walked and at times put our arms around each other. I could hear a lot of people making comments, and some even began to shout or hoot and holler at us. A few of the comments were jeers and a few were shouts of support. This was not something I was used to, but it was something I would have to learn to shrug off. I’d walked through the city being affectionate with other guys before, but it never gathered this type of reaction. At one point, CK acknowledged the comments, asking, “Are they still honking at us?” I told him I thought so, and we kept walking. Frankly, I was a little surprised by it all. We were in midtown west — Smack dab between Chelsea and HK, two of the gayest neighborhoods in NYC. I had a feeling a lot of the commenters were out-of-towners, and many of them were young guys.
When we got away from the crowds, he commented how he liked how I was into the hand holding. “Not all guys are into it. I’m glad you like it,” he added. I told him I liked little signs of affection, but I wasn’t into the far more obvious public displays. I told him I’m not much for making out in public.
He also mentioned the idea that had we planned better, I could have brought clothes to wear to work the next day and spent the night, however, he was happy we weren’t taking things for granted. He was happy with the pace of things, even though he wouldn’t have been opposed to sharing his bed with me.
We laid on one of the outdoor couches together and got comfortable while we ate our ice cream. We talked for a while before we ended up making out. Things stepped up to the next level when he undid my belt and began orally pleasuring me with one eye on the door. It was risky but I wasn’t fully exposed. I liked his passion and excitement. I’d finally met my match in terms of a decent, normal guy with a healthy sexual appetite.
After some time, he asked, “You wanna continue this downstairs in my apartment?” I told him I was totally game, and we descended the stairs.
Warning: The following may be too graphic for some. It wasn’t long before we were both naked in his bed. There was significant foreplay before he asked if I wanted to penetrate him. I was completely engulfed in our passionate romp and nodded my head in definitive agreement. “Yes! Like no other!” I added.
Then, I’m not sure how things switched so quickly, but as I was grinding on his backside, and stopped to put on a condom, he turned to me and said, “Can I f*ck you?” A long time ago, I made a rule for myself I would not bottom for a guy unless we were in a relationship. It wasn’t something I really enjoyed, so only special guys would receive the privilege. I had very strong feelings for him. I wanted to share something special with him already. I could hear A’s voice in my head telling me no sex until the third date, but that voice in my head was no comparison to the passion of my other head. After all that thinking, I said, “Yes.”
Like that, he started making out with me, and he had me on my back. While we were making out, I set the open condom down on the bed. He was already putting it on. I thought he was going to top me after I topped him. I didn’t realize I was giving up my position first. I was a little disappointed, but I let it happen anyway.
This time was much easier. He slid in with no problem, and began gyrating. It’d been some time since my prostate was stimulated like that, so part of it was discomfort and part was unexplainable pleasure. I never finish from bottoming, but I always have a full-body experience. I rarely can walk afterwards — Not because I’m so sore but more so because my legs go limp.
He continued until he was close, pulled out, ripped off the condom and shot all over my chest. It was very hot to watch him explode with gratification. He expressed how great everything felt, and we both laid there incapacitated. He told me how awesome he thought it was that I would flip so readily and let him top me. I told him I thought it was the best way for any healthy relationship. Both partners get to experience it all. Even though I didn’t always enjoy bottoming, I found it to be the ideal situation.
We cuddled for hours after that. We even dozed off for a period. When I woke, it was two am. I checked the schedule for the next PATH and made sure I was on it at 2:30. I said goodbye to him with a very passionate kiss, and we talked about when we’d get to see each other next. It was clear I couldn’t get enough of him. Now, the question was, did he feel the same way about me?
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