Posts Tagged walking

Not Tired of Me Yet?

Apologies for all you who got my draft post sent out today. I didn’t realize I had it scheduled for release before finishing it. Please disregard! And apologies for the late post today.

Back to your regularly scheduled program.

So last we left off, my Grindr friend/neighbor, who I will now call PR (short for Puerto Rican), and I were making out on my chair in my living room after a night at the bars and some Cluck U chicken.

I’m sure you’ve been wondering what happened next. Well..

After some making out, I grabbed his hand and led him to my bedroom. We had our fun letting our hands explore the other’s body. Things escalated from there until we finally dozed off for the night. He wasn’t the sexiest guy to enter my room, but we certainly had a good time together. I really enjoyed cuddling and making out with him, as well as many other things we experienced that night.

When we woke in the morning, we didn’t get out of bed. We spent a majority of the afternoon laying there spooning and cuddling and just talking. I really liked how frank he was about things. He didn’t sugar coat or try to impress me. He was being real. This is a quality I seek out in men. It’s very important.

After some time, he asked the question I knew was coming, “Soooo, are you a top or bottom?” I told him I was a top. I quickly learned he too was a top. This, of course, was followed by a long awkward pause on both our parts. I wondered in the back of my head if he was convertible. He told me it was nine years since the last time he’d done it. That left a glimmer of hope that he had done it in the past, however, nine years is a long time! Maybe this was doomed before it even got off the ground. Maybe we were simply sexually incompatible. But, I liked him. I wasn’t ready to walk away from it just based on this.

After more chatting, we started to fool around some more. Warning: The following may be too graphic for some. We orally pleased each other for some time. He felt so good. Finally, we finished ourselves off laying next to each other. It took some time for both of us. When we did, he mentioned how it takes him a long time to finish. I kissed him strongly. I told him how good it was to hear him say that since we both shared that “malady.” I was happy he was understanding.

Around 1:00, we finally got out of bed. I offered to make him breakfast. I cooked up some of my homemade sausage, eggs, avocado, English muffins, coffee, etc. This was serving as our lunch and our breakfast. We watched some TV on the couch while we ate.

Finally, he decided to head home and get ready. We made plans to go out for dinner that night. I had a Living Social I was ready to burn up at Trinity, a nice restaurant on the Hoboken waterfront.

Around 6:00, I met him on the street corner between my apartment and his friend’s apartment where he was staying for the time being. We took a leisurely stroll towards the waterfront, talking the whole way. When we arrived at the restaurant, it was closed for a private event. We decided to go elsewhere rather than wait for dinner because we were both starving. He wanted to go to East L.A. for margaritas. It sounded like a good plan, so I agreed on that.

That night, he had plans to go see a movie with one of his friends. His friend wasn’t getting back to him, so he asked if I wanted to go instead. It wasn’t a movie I was looking forward to seeing, but I had no plans and was enjoying spending time with him. I agreed to go. We talked about many other things over dinner, including the other gay date we were sitting next to. The two guys were younger and we could tell it was a date by what we saw and heard. It was very cute to see — Not something you see every day in Hoboken.

When we finished dinner, we started walking down the street towards our apartments. He decided against the movie since he was tired, so we agreed to just stay in and watch TV instead. I’d never seen the Paranormal movies, and he liked them. We decided to make a Paranormal Activity marathon night of it. We snuggled on the couch the entire night. I was very happy being in his arms, and he in mine.

When the movies were over, it was late. We decided to just go to bed, and I asked him to stay the night…

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Deep Pockets

Since deciding to end things with Smiles, I’d already been on one date and had one hookup. I certainly hit the ground running. I felt slightly guilty all this was going on before we even had the chance to formally end things, but then again, things never really formally began between us.

I wasn’t wasting any time either. I had been talking to a really nice guy on adam4adam.com and set up a date to grab drinks with him after work Friday evening. It was a bit awkward because this was truly a blind date.

He had two pictures on a4a, but neither was clear and one didn’t include a face. When I asked him to send me a better face picture, he told me he didn’t like taking pictures of himself. Of course a red flag raised in my mind, but I had nothing to lose either. If I arrived and the guy was unacceptable, I was right next to the Port Authority bus terminal. I would be home in no time with little of my time wasted.

We agreed to grab drinks at Arriba Arriba in Hell’s Kitchen. It was conveniently located between his apartment and my office, and like I said, it wasn’t far from my transportation hub to go home.

As I left my office and began walking north, I was quite nervous. I’d never been on a true blind date before. I’d at least seen pictures of their faces, but this time I had no idea what he looked like. I joked with him, “Not gonna lie. Not sure what you look like… Haha.” It didn’t take him to respond: “Sorry mate. Don’t like taking pictures of myself. We will find each other… haha. You can ask me to leave once you see me and how ugly I am. Lol.” I didn’t care all that much at this point for the picture. I was already going in blind. I replied, “No apologies needed. Just tellin’ ya you’re gonna have to find me…”

I waited for him on the street corner. I put that time in a good location to good use. I surfed Grindr in HK for any new prospects. I know some may say that is classless considering I was waiting for a date, but I’m not in HK all that often anymore, and there is more talent in that neighborhood than where I work. He finally arrived and approached me. I asked how his trek to HK was, and we went inside to find a table.

When we learned we could only stand at  the bar since we weren’t ordering food, we decided to go elsewhere. I was at a bit of a loss because I hadn’t been in the neighborhood for some time. I didn’t know of a good place for us to go for a drink. Luckily, this guy was good on his feet. He suggested Eatery, and we were off.

We grabbed a seat at the bar and ordered a few rounds of drinks. We chatted for a long time about a myriad of things. The whole time, he kept his ball-cap on. Beyond the fact that he should know it’s bad manners, especially since he was an older gentleman, I was also worried there may be no hair under there. I’m not shallow, and looks are not everything to me. But, if he was balding without shaving his head, I wasn’t sure I could deal with that. (Smiles shaved his head and I was obviously okay with that).

We talked about our upbringings. He lived a bicoastal lifestyle, living in California and South Carolina. He also was shipped off to boarding school in Switzerland, where his grandparents lived. I grew up on a farm and went to public school. We had quite the education/socio-economic divide before. This is one thing I‘m not sure I am capable of getting past. I’m sure if it was the right guy, I could handle him coming from wealth, but it’s something that makes me quite uneasy. He came from money, and a lot of it.

I also learned he leads a very lavish lifestyle. He told me about his plans to purchase a house in Barcelona. He’d recently traveled there to scope out some places. He also told me about the $200,000.00 loan he gave a friend and was never paid back because the friend died and left his only possession, his apartment, to someone else. He told me about his lavish trips to the Caribbean islands recently. The list goes on.

Ironically enough, he wasn’t talking about all these because he was trying to impress me (Or at least it didn’t come off that way, which is fine). It simply came up in conversation or I coaxed them out with questions. I just felt uncomfortable with our socio-economic differences. I don’t really aspire to the position of kept man. I want someone who will share the financial burdens with me equally. I know a lot of people would love to find someone rich to marry, but money means very little to me when it comes to love. I think like I would constantly feel like less of a man if I had everything provided for me constantly, and I contributed far less to the relationship. Maybe this is something I will learn to get over in time, but for now, it makes me uneasy.

I learned how he continued to build his wealth and his professional relationship with a family in Canada. He told me about all the businesses he was involved in, and I started to worry he was another Smiles — Too much on his plate to commit to a real relationship. I also learned he wasn’t out to many people in his life, even after he’d been in a nine-year relationship with a man who left his wife for him. It ended when the man cheated on him while he was away on business. I wasn’t sure how I felt about him still being in the closet. He’d experienced too much and was far too old to still be in denial of his true self. I wasn’t sure I wanted a “project” at that age.

Drinks quickly turned into dinner. We stayed at the bar and made friends with the waitress. She was super sweet and very interested in chatting with us. Over our meal, we conversed more, and I learned we share a lot of the same morals and interests. We had similar outlooks in life.

He also became much more physical as the night progressed. He constantly had his hand on my leg rubbing my thighs and caressing the back of my knee. I started to do the same. Periodically, he would stand and give me a big ol’ bear hug. It was sweet. I liked knowing he was a passionate physical man. I needed that after Smiles constant distance.

Six hours later, we were ready to leave the bar. He decided to walk me to the bus. I thought when we exited the restaurant we’d exchange a kiss and go our separate ways. He was a true gentleman and walked me to the Port Authority. Not only that, but he walked me to my gate to wait for my bus and stood there waiting with me. It was midnight, and he was being a total sweetheart. He stood anxiously next to me as if he didn’t know what to do or how to close the date. He wasn’t really out, so I had a feeling a goodnight kiss in front of a large group of strangers was out of the question. When my bus arrived, he said goodbye and we agreed to be in touch.

As I rode home from the date, I wasn’t entirely sure what I thought of him. He became more attractive as the night went on, but I wasn’t sure if that was his personality or the alcohol stepping in for average looks.

I had a lot to think about. It was clear to me he was interested in me. The next day, he texted to see if I was interested in catching a movie that evening. I told him I had plans to hang with friends locally, but if they fell through, I’d let him know. When I decided to keep my plans, I texted him to let him know. He wasn’t all that concerned considering he had hopped on a flight to Boston to hang out with friends and go to a party. Yup, hopped on a flight that day. He obviously didn’t have a planned flight considering he asked me to go to the movies — Unless he was planning to fly me to Boston to do so…

That night, while out with my friends, I called Boston. He told me some of his new exciting war stories, and I told him of my trepidations about Deep Pockets. He told me I was nuts to write him off based on financial differences, so I decided to see where things went over the next week or so.

We texted a few times more, but interest wasn’t strong on either end as the text messages slowly came to an end. I was on to the next prospect…

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Dinner and a Stroll Along the River

Following my great date with Smiles, I couldn’t get enough. I relished every phone call, every text, every moment I spent with him. I suppose you could say, I was gaga.

Is Smiles the greatest guy out there? Is he the best guy out there for me? Who knows. I don’t know him well enough to make that assumption. However, my appetite was wet, and I wasn’t satiated. He is a really great guy, and possess a lot of the qualities I seek in a man. I was cautiously optimistic — Fingers crossed.

After our last date, I texted, “Had a great time last night btw :)” He responded, “Me too!” That being said, I asked him out once again. The following day, I said, “So… When do I get to see you again?” He proposed Tuesday night. I was a little surprised. I was waiting to hear Wednesday night, since he invited me to his birthday that night. I was thrilled he was interested in seeing me two days in-a-row. I was just hoping he would confirm for me once again he wanted me at his birthday celebration and wasn’t having second thoughts.

I had been apartment hunting, so when I found one, I sent him a picture. That was followed shortly after by a sexy picture of me I took last summer on vacation in California (you’ll recognize part of the picture in my Gravatar on the right). I thought I’d spice things up a little, especially since I promised him I would send the picture. He responded, “That’s way better than an apt pic!” I said, “I thought you’d appreciate…” However, he didn’t believe me when I told him I took the picture with the timer on the camera. He thought someone else took it until I went on to explain the entire situation. “You’re committed to this, huh? LOL. Good for you. Strong work,” he said.

When Tuesday arrived, I asked him if we were still on for that evening. He responded, “Yep. Barring a trip to the hospital for stitches after I punch my computer for not working and wasting my time today.” At the end of the day, he added, “I’ve calmed a bit, looking forward to seeing you. What time are you off? You don’t happen to have running shoes with you? I feel like I need a run, LOL.” After discussing my lack of running equipment, we decided on dinner at his favorite restaurant, Extra Virgin.

We grabbed a table outside the restaurant. It was that time of year right before it’s not too cold to sit outside, but it’s also not quite warm enough to be completely comfortable. We ordered our food and immediately dove into conversation. We talked about our days and what was new in our lives.

He told me he and a friend were going to a shaman to try Ayawaska (a Peruvian root similar to Peyote) for the first time. He explained the setting in a yoga studio and how it works. I was fascinated. I’m certainly not the type to be open to drug abuse, but recreationally or experimentally, I have an open mind, especially if it happens under close supervision. The point was to relax and open you mind. Many people use it to communicate with God/the spirits in a trippy way. There was slight reservation/worry in the back of my mind regarding the whole thing, but he is an adult. I knew he’d be safe.

We ate our meals (I don’t recommend the chicken pot pie at Extra Virgin, but everything else I’ve had is spectacular) and continued our conversation.

Smiles likes to order deserts when we go out. Going out to dinner is already putting a dent in my wallet that normally isn’t there. I cook in my apartment far more often than I dine out. Since I started seeing him, I was going out a lot more often for dinner. Not only that, it wasn’t exactly helping my waistline. It’s amazing how easy it is to put on pounds when you aren’t afraid of people seeing you in a bathing suit anymore.

Instead of getting desert, he suggested we go to this tea shop, McNulty’s and then grab desert elsewhere. He was looking for a specific tea, so I called the shop to make sure they were still open.

After the tea shop, we hit up a gelato place, L’Arte De Gelato. We took out gelato and walked down Christopher Street to the pier. We had a nice stroll along the pier holding hands. I pointed out a few things on the Jersey side, such as the pier I normally hit up in the summer looking back the other way. We chatted a bit at the end of the pier. I was hoping maybe for a little make out session or some hugging, but I didn’t get the feeling he was interested in that. I don’t think he noticed, but when I went to reach for his hand, that’s the exact moment he lifted it from the railing and turned around to head back to the Christopher Street PATH station. I wondered in the back of my head why he never invited me to come back to his apartment, especially since I knew we were in the neighborhood. But, I also know I needed to take it a little slower. I had a tendency to rush things, and I needed to break that habit.

When we reached the PATH station, we hugged, and I gave him a kiss goodnight. I was happy to get to see him again, and I was cautiously looking forward to his birthday the following night. It was an awkward challenge for me, but I knew I was up for it. Birthdays are always interesting situations, especially when you’re the new addition to the crowd, but something told me I’d be alright.

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Waste-a-Date

The time came for me to start going through the roster at a better pace. I was going to meet these guys for dates and slowly widdle the list down to a quality few. I started with the guys I’d been talking to the longest and worked my way up from there. I knew their patience was probably waning, so I figured it best to start there.

One specific torso had been talking to me for weeks. He was very busy when we first started chatting with a move to a new apartment. We chatted sporadically but never seemed to nail down plans.

I messaged him on Grindr and asked if he was available to go out that week. Surprisingly, he was available that Wednesday. We made plans to grab a drink after work and take it from there. He seemed like a really nice guy and was eager to meet me. His torso shot on Grindr also proved he had a great body!

I started off that Wednesday on the wrong foot. I left the house in the morning and got half way to the PATH before I realized I forgot a belt. It was going to be a long day of me constantly pulling up my pants. Not a good day.

When work ended, I decided to walk up to the neighborhood in which we were going to meet. It was about 20 blocks and 3 avenues — nothing I wouldn’t normally walk. However, it was much more uncomfortable without a belt to keep my pants up.

We met in front of his apartment. He came down and was dressed in what I describe as spunky gay — tight striped tank top and tight straight-leg shorts. I already knew he was not going to be my type. On top of the fact that he was about 5′ 6″ to my 6′ 2″. I wasn’t going to completely write him off, but it wasn’t looking promising.

We chatted while we walked to Therapy, a bar around the corner where we could grab a drink. He had a thick hispanic accent, and at times, it was difficult to understand him. This was going to be a long date. On second thought, this was going to be the shortest date ever!

We sat upstairs at a table and ordered a round of drinks. We had NOTHING in common. We went to completely different bars, we were into very different things, and he said he doesn’t really go out much. We couldn’t have been more polar opposites. The date was very awkward and uncomfortable, and I couldn’t wait to get out of there. He asked what I had planned for later. I told him my roommates and I make dinner for each other every Wednesday, and they would be very upset with me if I skipped. This was a complete lie, but it was my out to leave after we finished the first round of drinks.

I excused myself to go to the restroom. I felt like I wasted my evening on this wet noodle of a man, so I wanted to see if I could salvage the night. I texted the next guy in my Grindr roster to see what he was up to. I couldn’t wait for a response, so I told him I’d be up for hanging out if he was around. I walked back up to the table and asked my “date” if he was ready to go. I paid the tab, and we walked down the stairs. I complained about all the old men ogling me as I descended the staircase, but he told me he was turned on by it and got off on it, reestablishing our differences.

I walked him home, and we talked about future plans. He was aware I was going to Ocean City, Maryland with my family the following week. It was an excellent out to not have to call him again. He mentioned the possibility of grabbing a movie when I returned. I told him it was a possibility, but I knew it wasn’t. I would never call or text him again. I gave him a hug and said goodbye.

As I walked to Port Authority, I pulled out my phone to see if the second Grindr guy responded. He told me he was having dinner with a friend. I offered to hang around a little while longer if he would be available later, but he suggested we do something some other night. With that, I chalked the night up to an utter failure and hopped on the bus back to Hoboken.

When I got home, I pulled up Grindr. I messaged and was messaged by some quality guys to beef up the roster. I was back to my old self. But this list was filled with guys I wanted to date, not just have sex with. I was turning over a new leaf, or so I hoped…

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Walking the Highline

On the ride home in the car form the Jersey Shore, I managed to schedule a date with another Grindr guy I had been talking to. He was very sexy, and I was excited to meet him, but I didn’t know a whole lot about him. He was very secretive and elusive.

We agreed to meet up in the city for coffee/drinks. I told him I could be in the city around 7:30. I took the PATH and got off the Christopher Street Station. I called him to see where he was. He wasn’t quite ready yet and was still at home. I told him I could meet him somewhere, so he told me to walk to his place.

He met me at the corner of his block. He looked different than his pictures. Not drastically, but not quite as attractive. Don’t get me wrong. Looks are not everything to me. I am willing to let things slide, but there has to be an upside. However, two minutes into the date, he turned to me and said, “By the way, I’m not 35. I’m 38. I told you that right?” I shrugged it off, but that was out of my age comfort zone. I don’t rule anyone out, but there comes a time when you don’t share a lot of things in common with someone based on the time in which they grew up. I wasn’t thrilled, but I wasn’t going to ditch him then and there. I was still a little intrigued.

He asked what I wanted to do, and I told him I was very laid back and would leave the choice up to him. It was his neighborhood. He suggested we take a walk over to the West Side since the sun was setting. It would be a nice time to take a walk.

About ten minutes into the date, I knew there was no future for us. He was originally from Cypress and had a thick accent after fifteen years in the United States. I had a very hard time understanding him as we walked along the West Side Highway. He must have had to repeat everything three times.

When we got to 14th street, I had the brilliant idea for us to check out the Highline. I hadn’t had the chance to see it yet, and he thought it was a great idea. We walked the entire thing awkwardly chatting away about random things. Most of the time he walked in front of me, not next to me, so I got a really bad vibe about the whole thing.

When we reached the top of the Highline at 30th street, we exited and tried to find a specific ice cream he had a hankering for. After seven different ice cream trucks, we gave up and decided to hit up Magnolia Bakery. He got banana pudding and I got the peanut butter pie. We walked some more while we ate our snack. When we were close to the PATH station, I told him I needed to get back to get ready for work the next day. The date was long and quite a waste of my time. I was too polite to cut out sooner, but I couldn’t take any more of it. We walked half the city, and I was ready to go home.

We said our goodbye and exchanged a hug. He told me he thought I was a good guy and wanted to see me again.

It was one of the most boring and platonic dates I’d been on. I had no interest in seeing him again. But I was polite and said, “Yea. We could probably do that.”

I walked away from this date wishing I had the last three hours of my life back. The only thing I got out of the date was exercise, but that was counteracted by the peanut butter pie I ate.

Of course I never called him again, but I did send him a polite text message saying, “It was nice meeting you.”

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