Posts Tagged supportive
Smiles was halfway across the country and Christmas was rapidly approaching. There’s something about dating someone over the holidays that makes you really appreciate that person. There’s also something to be said about being single over the holidays that makes me utterly depressed. I was happy to be on the dating side of the fence this year, but I would certainly miss Smiles.
While he was home, he sent me periodic texts out of the blue. I got a few picture messages of him and his mother’s dog on the beach and some pictures from around town. They were sweet simple texts that showed me even though he was many states away, he was still thinking about me throughout his day.
This seemed a bit of a stark contrast to the conversation we had just before he left. He told me he couldn’t be in a serious relationship right now. If that was the case, why was he reaching out to me even when I wasn’t around. I started to wonder if maybe he didn’t know what he wanted.
As he was driving around, he called me to chat. It was a really sweet conversation. He was asking how I was doing and what I’d been up to since everyone left town ahead of me. He was telling me all about where he grew up and his old high school. We talked about his mother a fair amount and her business. He sent me a picture of some of the things she worked on.
I was getting access to mother information. You don’t share that with someone you don’t truly care about. I was getting more of him. It was exactly what I wanted. I wanted to know more about where he came from. I wanted him to open up. I wanted it all.
Maybe my conversation sparked something inside him. Maybe he realized he wasn’t appreciating me as much as he should, but there certainly was a stark difference between the time we spent together before the conversation and the time following.
As the rest of the family was arriving into town, Smiles started getting anxious. This is something he did regularly — Got worked-up over small things. He was texting me about solutions to the problem, such as drinking. I encouraged him to do whatever made him comfortable. There was no reason he couldn’t have a few cocktails to take off the edge if it would make him more relaxed. He was anxious about talking about his career. He was still working hard to get it off the ground, and I think he was ashamed about that. I told him he needed to be proud for being so brave for starting something from the ground floor. Not many people can do that. They just go work for someone who has already done all the heavy lifting. He has very low self-esteem when it comes to his job, and he has no reason to. No one finds overnight success, and I have strived to convey this to him constantly while being very supportive of all his ventures.
I think my pep-talk worked because his texts became more light-hearted and relaxed. Either that, or he took my advice with the cocktails to a much higher level.
The morning my sister and I were driving home to Pennsylvania, he texted just to see how my day was going. Again, I love these sweet gestures that show he’s thinking about me. I was much happier over the past few days than I was immediately following our conversation.
When I got home, I had no cell phone service. It makes it a little more difficult to talk without a little more effort. I made sure he had my parents’ landline number, but I knew he wouldn’t call it. He probably didn’t want to have to talk to anyone if he called and they picked up.
I had his number, but now I was settling in with the family. I wasn’t home for long, so I wanted to make sure the time I was there, I was present. I didn’t want to be running off constantly making phone calls.
It was Christmas Eve, and I was off to mass with my family. I texted him on the way to say hi and let him know I was thinking about him.
When I came back out of mass, I had a response. He told me he dodged the church bullet. I told him I wasn’t so lucky. My parents’ priest is one of the most boring people I have ever encountered. Going to church is penance in itself.
I wished him a Merry Christmas Eve just before driving out of cellphone service. We were on our way home to take our annual family Christmas photo before relaxing for the rest of the night in front of the TV…Follow @onegayatatime
I was having one hell of a busy week. I was running errands all over New Jersey. I was cooking. I was cleaning. I was unpacking boxes… The list goes on…
I’ve had my holiday party four years now, and the fifth was not about to fall short of the other four. I strive to make each year better than the last, and I think I’ve been quite successful.
I had my day quite planned out, but plans changed. Smiles volunteered to help me out with the party planning. He spent the night, but come late morning, he was ready to go home. I didn’t say anything to him about staying, but I was a little disappointed. It wasn’t that I needed the help. My friend P was arriving shortly. I wanted to spend the day with him. I had the day off from work and there was no reason in my mind we couldn’t be together.
I also told P he would be there, and I was excited for her to meet him. Not many of my friends had met him before, and I knew that would be a familiar face for him come the night of the party if he met her ahead of time — Not to be the case.
P and I had a fun work-filled day. We watched TV while we prepared fried hot wing dip balls. When those were done, we moved onto rolling the bacon and onion cream cheese crescent rolls. Next, we were on to preparing the mini PBJs, cheesecake filled strawberries, crab rangoons, Swedish meatballs, pierogies, popcorn turkey bites, cheddar garlic biscuits… The list goes on (As you can see I don’t mess around).
The sun was setting, so we broke to grab dinner. I bought us take-out since we were both tired of cooking. After we ate, I decided we should call it a night on the cooking. I thanked P graciously for all her help. She really saved my ass, and she made the day go by much faster.
I tried to tackle some of the cleaning that night before crashing on the couch. I couldn’t do too much because I’d prob get it dirty again the next day. When I felt I’d made enough progress, I called it a night.
Smiles had been texting me throughout the evening to see how things were going. I decided to call him to see how his day was. We had a very nice chat on the phone, and he was very supportive of my party preparations. It was nice to see him in this role, as usually the roles were the reverse. I was usually there supporting him.
We finished our pleasant phone conversation, and I went to bed. I had a lot of work to do before the forty guests arrived the following evening.Follow @onegayatatime