Posts Tagged drama
NC and I had grown a bit closer since he moved away. I forgave him for all the roommate games he played, and he became one of my confidants. I don’t have many gay friends, so I try to hold onto the few that come into my life.
NC told me he was going to confront N about deleting him on Facebook. “Effin [NC] messages me. What a joke,” N gChatted to me. I told him I already knew, but I also told him I knew he sold me out to NC. “I said that I deleted him bc we’re not friends. Friends don’t lie to other people about their friends. He asked how he lied. I said ask you and ask [his coworker], because I’m not getting into it with him. That it’s not worth my time,” he retorted.
It’s fine if he had beef and didn’t want to deal with him, but he didn’t need to throw his coworker and I under the bus. “But, now you drug me into the middle of it cause he’s asking me how he lied,” I said. “Sh*t!” he exclaimed. “I didn’t even think about that when I said it. I was just so taken back by his gall that I just said it without thinking. I’m sorry. F! I didn’t even think of it.”
I was very annoyed with him. Damn right he didn’t think of it. He didn’t think at all before opening his mouth. “Ughhhh! I managed to repair things with him… Cause I’m a forgiving person… Hopefully this blows over…” I typed. It was damage control time. I was legitimately worried NC would be p*ssed at me for opening my mouth. Luckily, NC wasn’t phased by any of this, and somehow I managed to smooth things over with NC fairly quickly. But, I wasn’t going to tell N that right away. Let him feel bad for a little after dragging me into the drama.
N started texting me. “In a meeting but cant get over this. I’m very sorry I brought you up! I got very aggravated and lost my collectiveness for those moments.” Good. He felt really bad. What he did was wrong. I did my damage control, but what about his coworker? When he came back to his computer, he felt the need to elaborate on the full story. I pretty much already knew it from NC. I was already moving on to talk to Boston in the background. My one sane outlet in the gay world. My gay guru. I was filling him in on all my drama, and I could just picture him shaking his head in disapproval.
N elaborated, “I said ‘Just know you shouldn’t lie to people about things you do with others or the way interactions go on between you and someone else. It’s unattractive and makes you look like an as$hole.’ His response: ‘So is taking bathroom pictures of yourself of your new “beach-ready?” body and using it on facebook… Get a life dude. Your such a drama queen.’ Am I offended? Kinda. Does it bother me? A little. Am I drama queen? IDK.” Once again, he delivered a very off-color insult I didn’t need to hear.
I needed out. This was not my battle. I needed to get back to Switzerland status. He continued to talk, “I said ‘LOL. Good luck in life. Hopefully you’ll finding Mr. Right Now in Atlanta. How did you “repair” things with him and what was there to repair?’ ” I told him I needed to go so I could finish my work and make it to yoga. I already checked out of this drama long ago. He mentioned he would come to yoga that night. It would probably be good for him to calm down after all this drama. He also promised to bring over the clothes he borrowed from me after yoga.
Of course, he neither showed up to yoga nor brought over my clothes. Flaked once again. The next morning, I got a text explaining, “Hey you. I didn’t get in until 1:30. I went out for my friend’s birthday. I’ll bring them over tonight if you’re not busy. I’m batting 1000 with you.” Yea… he really was. This friendship thing wasn’t really working for me, but I would just sit back and be patient for the drama to end.Follow @onegayatatime
The day after my spectacular night and romantic dinner date with N, I was heading home to Pennsylvania for my cousin’s graduation party. It was father’s day weekend, and I hadn’t been home in a month or so, so my sister and I visited until Saturday evening.
Days before I left, N came over and had a serious conversation with me. He told me his roommate was having a birthday party and wanted to invite my friends and I, but this was something we needed to discuss. I could see how uncomfortable he was, but I could also see he really wanted me to come. He said so. But, since he wasn’t out to his roommates yet, he didn’t know how to handle having me there. Who would I be? Why was I there? How did I know Amanda? All questions that would have to be answered.
I looked him in the eye and cut him off at the pass. I said, “Hey. We don’t have to do this. I know you want me there, but if this makes you uncomfortable I get it. And, I’m sure Amanda will understand too. I was in the same position you are in a year ago. I know what you’re feeling. And, trust me. I will not put any pressure on you whatsoever. You have to do this on your own timeline when you feel comfortable. If that means me not coming to one party, I’m ok with that.” Immediately his eyes lit up. I could see how relieved he was. I told him to think about what he wants and let me know when he decided.
So, on my way back to Hoboken from PA, I was texting N to find out his decision. However, I wasn’t really getting a response. In the back of my mind, I knew it was a bad idea, and I shouldn’t go. Even if he told me he wanted me to come, I was probably going to tell him no for his benefit. He made the decision very easy when he didn’t respond. I decided to make other plans with other friends in town.
A friend of mine met a guy at the gym and found out he was gay. I’ve been waiting for this to happen. His immediate response to him was to send him my way. I had my first gay set-up. He told him I was gay and directed him to this blog. So, I hit him up to see if he wanted to join us at the bar. He obliged. This wasn’t to make N jealous or anything. I had a man. I didn’t need another. This guy seemed very nice, and I thought it polite to meet him and maybe make a new friend.
As I was about to walk out the door to go to the bar at 10:00 p.m., I received a text from N saying, “Ok. You can come over, but remember. Be discrete and we’re just friends.” I told him of my other plans and said maybe I would see him later that night.
I met the guy from the gym at the bar with my friends and we sat on the rooftop and chatted. I introduced him to everyone, and he began to tell me his story. He was in a 9 year relationship that didn’t make it for all the wrong reasons. My heart was breaking when he told me his story. I wanted to give him a big hug right there. He seemed a little broken, but I could tell it was helping him to tell his story. I told him about my ex-“boyfriend,” as well as N and how things were going between us.
Then, late in the night, N texted me telling me he was coming to the bar I was at with the birthday party. When he arrived, he came running over, very drunk, and kissed me on the forehead. I introduced him to the guy from the gym. We didn’t hang out much at the bar, mainly because he was there with a bunch of his friends who didn’t know he was gay. I was okay with it. Again, on his terms. On his schedule. No pressure.
At one point, N realized he lost his phone and was panicked to find it. He tried calling his phone and the cab company he used to get to the bar. He wanted to go home to check if he lost it there. I told him I was ready to leave, and we could go back to our apartments so he could find it. But, only after we got pizza. He agreed. We grabbed a few slices and hopped in a cab back to our apts. The cab dropped him off and he ran in, yelling back, “I’ll be over in a few minutes.”
I took his slices, my friend’s and mine, and we went into my apartment. Quite some time passed, and I realized N wasn’t coming over. I chalked it up to one of those nights, got my friend settled on the couch, and went to bed. Alone.Follow @onegayatatime