Posts Tagged successful
Sunday afternoon, I tried to see if Smiles would want to do something fun the following day since I didn’t have to go to work. Sadly, he had work to do. He was trying to build up a company from scratch, and it is a lot of hard work, so I understood. What I didn’t expect was he would be busy he wouldn’t be able to find the time to pick up the phone and call or text.
Monday passed with me planted on the couch watching TV all day while surfing adam4adam.com and reactivating my Grindr account. I was just seeing what was out there, but as the afternoon progressed, I started to think toward the future while examining the past.
I realized I wasn’t happy. I equated my relationship to the struggle of Sisyphus, a king punished by being compelled to roll an immense boulder up a hill, only to watch it roll back down, and to repeat this throughout eternity. I was constantly putting work into the relationship only to find I wasn’t receiving much benefit from it.
I had given Smiles more than his fair share of chances to finally woo me, and he failed. I enjoyed his company, and he was a very nice, successful, good-looking man, but the time had come to move on. It just seemed he wasn’t that into me, and I realized I deserve better. Since I had been on the journey to this conclusion for quite some time, I wasn’t that broken up about it. I’ve had varied reactions to the end of relationships in the past. I moved on with closure after my mutual breakup with Broadway. I had slight some minor cardiac scarring after I ended things with San Francisco. I was a wreck when things went south with N — Losing ten pounds in a week (Not proud of that).
I actually started to get slightly angry about things. I felt used. I recalled asking Smiles on our first date why he was on Grindr, and he had mentioned he was lonely. I realized I was someone to pass the time for him. I was someone he could go to dinner with so he didn’t have to eat alone. I was someone he could have the occasional romp in the sheets when he was in the mood. I was a seat warmer. He never had any plans to forge a relationship with me, and this made me really feel used.
I wanted more. I deserved more. And I was going to find more. I started searching once again on a4a and Grindr. These are clearly not the best place to find Mr. Right, but it couldn’t hurt to try. Once again, it was just going to be a lot of work.
On top of it all, our sex-life was minimal. As a result, I was horny. I was hungry for some good sex. Over the summer when I was having my wild time, I felt I started to really hone my craft. I had numerous guys constantly hitting me up for seconds, thirds, and more. It was great for my ego, and I craved a really good romp in the sack.
That’s when I turned my efforts toward Grindr. I wanted to find a local guy with a hot body. I knew it wouldn’t be easy from past experience, but maybe some new hotties moved into the area in the three months I’d been away. I started talking to one guy for quite some time. We even started to Skype with each other while I watched TV. He lived very close and had a really nice body. He was Asian, which doesn’t quite get my engine roaring so there he wasn’t a relationship prospect, but we could at least start on a friendship. We face-time chatted most of the evening. I gave him full disclosure on the situation. We even discussed him coming over to hook up, but in the end I decided to be good.
Afterall, I still hadn’t officially ended things with Smiles yet. It wouldn’t be right. I’d already betrayed that relationship once, I didn’t need to do it again, not matter how resolved I was about its end.
I got an offer from a man I’d had a tryst with in the past. He begged me to come to his apartment, but it was cold outside, and it was getting late. I had work the next day, and I needed to go to bed. I told him I’d take a rain check.
My new friend went to bed, and I continued to figure out a way to satiate my libido. I figured I would hit up some old friends in my Skype contact list. One of the sexiest men happened to be online. He lived in South America on an island, and I wanted to do bad things to his body. It was amazing. I loved camming with him. The only issue was he had a big thing for me. He always begged me to be his boyfriend, no matter how many times I told him it couldn’t happen because we are so far away. He begged me to come visit, but I told him I couldn’t afford the flight. I wasn’t about to fly to South America for a booty call. But if he lived anywhere close, I would have been over there in a second!
I convinced him to have a little fun on camera until I finished. As usual, it sapped all the energy from my body, and I jumped into bed and dozed off without a thought left in my head.Follow @onegayatatime
I was having one hell of a busy week. I was running errands all over New Jersey. I was cooking. I was cleaning. I was unpacking boxes… The list goes on…
I’ve had my holiday party four years now, and the fifth was not about to fall short of the other four. I strive to make each year better than the last, and I think I’ve been quite successful.
I had my day quite planned out, but plans changed. Smiles volunteered to help me out with the party planning. He spent the night, but come late morning, he was ready to go home. I didn’t say anything to him about staying, but I was a little disappointed. It wasn’t that I needed the help. My friend P was arriving shortly. I wanted to spend the day with him. I had the day off from work and there was no reason in my mind we couldn’t be together.
I also told P he would be there, and I was excited for her to meet him. Not many of my friends had met him before, and I knew that would be a familiar face for him come the night of the party if he met her ahead of time — Not to be the case.
P and I had a fun work-filled day. We watched TV while we prepared fried hot wing dip balls. When those were done, we moved onto rolling the bacon and onion cream cheese crescent rolls. Next, we were on to preparing the mini PBJs, cheesecake filled strawberries, crab rangoons, Swedish meatballs, pierogies, popcorn turkey bites, cheddar garlic biscuits… The list goes on (As you can see I don’t mess around).
The sun was setting, so we broke to grab dinner. I bought us take-out since we were both tired of cooking. After we ate, I decided we should call it a night on the cooking. I thanked P graciously for all her help. She really saved my ass, and she made the day go by much faster.
I tried to tackle some of the cleaning that night before crashing on the couch. I couldn’t do too much because I’d prob get it dirty again the next day. When I felt I’d made enough progress, I called it a night.
Smiles had been texting me throughout the evening to see how things were going. I decided to call him to see how his day was. We had a very nice chat on the phone, and he was very supportive of my party preparations. It was nice to see him in this role, as usually the roles were the reverse. I was usually there supporting him.
We finished our pleasant phone conversation, and I went to bed. I had a lot of work to do before the forty guests arrived the following evening.Follow @onegayatatime
When it comes to men, I don’t have a type. The only real parameters I put on men are strong masculinity and that they take care of themselves. I’m very turned off my feminine, flamboyant men, and I lead a very active lifestyle, so I need a man who can keep up.
That being said, I message a lot of people on Grindr my friends would be shocked to find me with. One such man is a VERY muscular and looks like a total meathead. But, that was just my first impression. I try not to judge a book by its cover, so I attempted to investigate if there was more to this guy.
Surprisingly, he responded to my messages. He seemed like a really nice guy. We had a fair amount in common, and he didn’t live far from me. I learned he is an ex-marine who works in finance and travels quite a bit for work. He is very successful at his job as well. We exchanged pictures, and I found him very sexy. He is much bulkier than I am used to, but if he was okay with my body, I was certainly okay with his.
We attempted to find time to meet, but failed due to busy schedules. It just never quite seemed to work out. When he returned from a business trip, we finally picked a day to catch up. He proposed we meet at Energy Kitchen in Hoboken early Sunday afternoon (okay, so maybe he is a little bit of a meathead). This worked out well for me, so I gladly agreed. He was going to go for a bike ride and would start there for lunch, and it would be good motivation to get me out of the apartment earlier and get moving. I was going to head to the gym following our lunch.
I rode my motorcycle to meet him. We both arrived at the same time. He was a beast of a man, and somewhat intimidating. We went inside and ordered. We sat and started to chat about work, where we lived, what bars we went to, what we did for fun, etc.
Much to my surprise, this guy was a big ol’ softie. He loved gay clubs. This big marine dude went to some of the worst gay bars I’d heard of. I had a hard time picturing it all in my head.
We also talked about Grindr and a few of the guys we’ve spoken to on there. He talked about a few dates he’d gone on with guys from there. Ironically, I was chatting with one of them the night before. He saved me a lot of headaches by telling me the guy was incredibly sexy but completely fem and a total clinger. We continued comparing notes for a little, each getting a good laugh or chuckle here and there at the other’s expense.
When we finished eating, he was anxious to get out on his ride. He asked if I ride and encouraged me to do so as his biking buddy. I explained I didn’t have a road bike and had no desire to invest in one, but was always up for a good workout otherwise.
We said our goodbyes with a handshake, and he suggested we meet again soon. I didn’t think he was all that interested in me. We had good conversation, but I didn’t see strong chemistry/potential. However, he could certainly be a good friend.
Much to my surprise, after his bike ride, he sent me a text: “Hey stud. Was good to do lunch. 🙂 You got looks and personality. Are you on Facebook?”
I figured, what the hell. He seemed nice enough. Let’s keep him around and see what develops…Follow @onegayatatime