Posts Tagged tolerance

Dating & the Homosexual Man

If you’ve read my blog, you obviously realize how difficult it is to date and find love in the homosexual world. There are many extremely difficult aspects of dating and sex for homosexual men, most of which exist purely because there are fewer opportunities for homosexual men to date and find other men. This is of course not to say that such opportunities don’t exist. However, the fact remains that most dating advice, venues, and even websites are designed primarily for heterosexual couples, leaving LGBT men and women out in the cold.

So, what are some good ways for homosexual men to be able to enjoy active dating and sex lives? Fortunately, there are increasingly many opportunities for such men to do just that. But here are a few tips that may help you to get some ideas:

• To begin with, being open and honest about your sexuality is a great place to start. This is obviously a lot to ask of homosexual men who are not already open about their sexualities, but at the same time it is a simple fact that dating and sex will be easier the more open you are about what you want and need. Society, unfortunately, has a long way to go before it is as accepting as the gay community deserves, but things are getting better, which has led to more opportunity. Just the other day, Vice President Biden expressed his viewpoints on the issue of gay rights, and immediately, the White House went into a tailspin of damage control. This wasn’t an issue they wanted to dig up right now, but now it is. We shall see how it plays out.

• Next, take advantage of places in your area that are meant to accommodate homosexual dating. There are numerous such clubs and bars in most cities. So, while it is sometimes less than ideal to have to seek these places out in the first place, they can also provide a great location and opportunity to meet other homosexual men. Maybe you’ll simply make a friend at the bar. Chances are that person has other gay friends. Friendships lead to relationships as well.

• You can also take advantage of the same types of opportunities online. These days, there are actually plenty of homosexual dating and sex related websites online, all of which can be helpful for meeting potential partners. These sites actually tend to have much higher success rates with leading people to sexual encounters, but it is also possible to find a lasting relationship on these sites as well. To go a step beyond that, you can even find sex toys and accessories at sites like adameve.com specifically designed for homosexual couples!

• Finally, the best advice for a homosexual man looking for relationships and sex in today’s society is not to treat yourself any differently from anyone else. Not long ago it was difficult for homosexual couples to feel comfortable in public, or doing certain things that heterosexual couples don’t think twice about. But again, society has progressed to some extent, and it is now far more common to see openly homosexual couples in public and in dating scenarios. Embracing this change can lead to a far more fulfilling relationship, and is something that should definitely be taken advantage of.

You need to manage your expectations and set limits. Know what you are looking for and don’t allow yourself to be sidetracked. It’s going to be a journey, but be sure to relax and enjoy the scenery while you’re searching for the love of your life.

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

6 Comments

Only the Beginning

Friday afternoon, I had a pitch in the New Jersey suburbs. When the meeting finished, I hopped in my car service home. It would be nice to get home earlier than a normal workday after many late nights at work that week.

Smiles and I made plans to spent the night together. Since I finished early, I took the opportunity to call Smiles and ask him to come over. He wasn’t busy, so he began to get ready and make his way to Hoboken.

When I got back, I wanted to do a few things. I wanted to make a quick run to the grocery store to grab some food to make for dinner, but I also wanted to get a haircut. I was in desperate need of one. I didn’t have time to do both, so I decided to choose the haircut.

I hopped on the motorcycle and hit up my usual spot to get my ears lowered. Of course, I had less time than I originally expected. He began calling the second I sat in the chair. I texted him and asked him to hang out at Starbucks until I could make it down to meet him.

All the while he was waiting for me at Starbucks, I was getting the worst haircut of my life. She completely removed my sideburns. I was not a happy camper, but there was nothing I could do about it.

I quickly paid, hopped on the motorcycle, and made my way down to meet Smiles. He was sitting in a comfortable chair sipping his coffee when I arrived. I hung out for a few minutes while he finished because it doesn’t exactly work out well taking a coffee on the back of the motorcycle. While we waited, I pointed out my new botched haircut. He didn’t sugar-coat it for me, and he told me what he thought.

When he finished, we hopped on the bike and went to my apartment. We walked in to find my roommate finally cleaning up his mess in the kitchen. We left him to his work, and we sat and watched TV until we decided what to do with our Friday evening. I introduced Smiles to my new favorite show, An American Horror Story. I was curious how he’d feel about it because he used to be a television producer.

I posed him a decision about food for the evening. I told him I no longer had the energy to cook dinner, so we could grab takeout/delivery, or we could go out for dinner. He suggested we go out for a nice dinner since he’d never really gone out in Hoboken much. I made a few suggestions and showed him them online. We decided on Dino & Harry’s, a great steakhouse I’d actually gone to with N when we were dating. We took a casual stroll up there around 7:30. I knew there would be a long wait since it was such a popular weekend dinner spot. When we arrived, Smiles spoke to the hostess and got an estimated wait for a table. It was 45 min. to an hour. We decided to check out a few other options. We weren’t thrilled with the other options, so we decided to head back to grab a drink at the bar while we waited.

We ordered the calamari appetizer and adult beverages while we talked. Before long, and after a little sweet-talking on Smiles’ part, we were offered a table. I could see in Smiles’ eyes, he was already feeling his drink. It was cute to see his tolerance in juxtaposition to my own high tolerance. I wasn’t turned off at all by it. In fact, I was enjoying it because he was being more playful than usual.

Throughout dinner we had great conversation. I was very happy. It was a very nice night together, and it was nice to be on my home turf for the first time in a while. We shared dessert and had our fill. This was one of the nights on the high end of the spectrum that seemed to make up for the nights on the lower end.

We paid our tab and made our way back to my apartment. The temperature dropped pretty drastically, so we walked as briskly as one can after consuming big steaks and desert.

When we got home, we hopped into my bed and cuddled while we talked for a while. I can’t remember what we talked about, but the conversation was very relaxed and casual. I finally felt he was comfortable with me and was opening up. This led to me removing his shirt and rolling him onto his stomach. I loved pleasing him, so I massaged his shoulders and back.

I wasn’t really in the mood for sex that night. We both had a fair amount to drink and it was a long day for me. I wasn’t going to push the sex issue since I wasn’t into it myself. I would attempt to jump his bones in the morning, the time I am usually at my horniest.

Instead, we both got ready for bed and dozed off. Tomorrow was a new day. Who knew what it would bring?…

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

6 Comments

Happy to See Him Happy

In continuing with sharing fun videos I come across, I thought I’d share this one. After reading Anthony Romero’s comment on Twitter, “Siri, tell my wife I’m gay,” I thought I’d heard the funniest Siri reference. (BTW, follow the porn star couple, @AnthyRomero and @AustinWilde on Twitter, they’re very entertaining!) Then this video came along and made me laugh so hard I cried… You may have already seen it, but I hope you like it!

On with the story…

On the night following my conversation with Smiles to bring him back from the edge, he had a film screening in New York City. This was the same film I had traveled out to the Hamptons to view. But, that was a dry run of sorts. The New York City premier was the real deal. Smiles was stressing about all the last minute details, and who could blame him?

I didn’t talk to or text him that day. I knew he’d be busy. Long ago, I made plans to attend the screening. Even though I’d seen it, I wanted to be supportive. I wanted to prove to him I cared about him and wanted him to be successful. And, if he wasn’t, I would still be there.

When I arrived, there was a small line forming. They weren’t allowing anyone in until 7:00. I stood in line patiently while optimistically telling him there was a decent line forming outside stretching to the corner.

When they finally let us in, I found Smiles. As per usual these days, I didn’t get a kiss. We said hi and chatted about our days quickly and the set up of the film. Shortly thereafter, his friend arrived and we were introduced. The friend was very familiar and quite attractive, and then I learned he was at the birthday gathering weeks earlier. The three of us chatted a while, but Smiles hadn’t seen him in a while, so they dominated the conversation.

After some time, one of Smiles’ cast mates came over to talk to him. He was introduced to the two of us. While conversing, he asked us, “So how do you know [Smiles]?” Just then, my phone rang, and I didn’t have to answer the question. I politely excused myself and answered the call. It was A. Her plans for the night fell through, and she was able to come to the screening. I talked details with her and returned to the conversation, but it had already moved on. I didn’t have to answer the question, but I also didn’t get to hear Smiles answer the question. It would have answered if we’d made progress since the last time that question was posed and would give me insight as to where I stood with him.

I didn’t jump right back into the conversation between Smiles and his friend. Instead, I leaned against the bar, drank my drink, and took in the whole scene. In my peripheral hearing, I heard the friend ask Smiles, “So, you dating anyone these days?” My ears perked up. Now I would get my answer!

“Yeah. This shy little guy over here,” he said as he pulled me closer.  I must have had a smile from ear to ear. “Oh,” said the friend. “I was going to ask who brought the kid? he joked. Shortly after, Smiles had to run to take care of other things. I was left to talk to the friend, and we got along great. He’s a really nice guy. When A arrived, I introduced the two of them.

It wasn’t long before the film was about to begin. Just before we were about to sit, I grabbed Smiles and reminded him to have fun. Too many times he worried about things and forgot to enjoy them as well. We grabbed three seats (Smiles was sitting elsewhere) and settled in before the film started. A leaned over and said to me, “He’s really cute! You should totally go after him.” She’s such a bad influence sometimes! Just before the movie started, I leaned over to the friend and asked him if he knew Smiles was in the film as well. He too had no idea. Apparently I wasn’t the only one he didn’t tell that detail to.

The movie was actually better the second time around. It also helps when you watch it with a packed house. The premier was so successful, they had to bring out extra chairs. I was so proud of Smiles and happy for him. When the movie ended, they had a little “Inside the Actors’ Studio” moment with a few questions and explanations. He looked comfortable yet slightly embarrassed on stage. It was cute to see him a little vulnerable.

Afterwards, he came up to me and planted a big kiss on me. I was a little shocked. I was so happy to see him so happy. He needed a break like this! For the rest of the night, he was floating around being a social butterfly. I hung out with A until she had to leave. At that point, I held my own being alone. Smiles would come and snag me periodically to make sure I was okay and to semi celebrate. He was being very affectionate and quite publicly. I rather enjoyed it!

One of the girls in the film was in attendance and was also working for a show on HBO. I had just watched the episode she was in at work to kill time before the screening, so I took the time to pull her aside and chat with her. She asked if I knew anyone in the film. When I told her I knew Smiles, she had nothing but amazing things to say about him. Once again, I was so proud of him.

The the crowd was thinning out, Smiles ran out on the dance floor and started dancing with the star of the film while one of the bands in the film played music. He noticed I was standing by the bar. He came running over, grabbed my hand, and drug me out on the floor with him. I was having fun.

When he finished his business and wrapped up, we left together, but not before he introduced me to the star of the film. We walked to nearby Pop Burger for dinner. We were drinking all night on an empty stomach, and Smiles’ tolerance is much lower than mine. We ordered food and sat to eat it. I had never heard of a shrimp burger, so I ordered that.

While we sat, I made fun of his clamshell phone, taking pictures of it and tagging him in the photo on Facebook.

I called for the car service from work and had them pick me up to take me home. Shhh. Since Smiles lives on the way to the tunnel, we dropped him off in front of his building. He climbed over me to get out of the car and gave me a kiss goodnight. I went home a happy man. I made a lot more progress that night. Dare I say it? I think I was in a relationship at that point???

I went home and climbed into bed with a big grin on. However, the grin didn’t last long. Just my luck, I woke up with food poisoning in the middle of the night. I spent a majority of the night in the bathroom and did not get much sleep. I went from having a very happy night to a miserable one in no time…

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

1 Comment