Posts Tagged tolerance
If you’ve read my blog, you obviously realize how difficult it is to date and find love in the homosexual world. There are many extremely difficult aspects of dating and sex for homosexual men, most of which exist purely because there are fewer opportunities for homosexual men to date and find other men. This is of course not to say that such opportunities don’t exist. However, the fact remains that most dating advice, venues, and even websites are designed primarily for heterosexual couples, leaving LGBT men and women out in the cold.
So, what are some good ways for homosexual men to be able to enjoy active dating and sex lives? Fortunately, there are increasingly many opportunities for such men to do just that. But here are a few tips that may help you to get some ideas:
• To begin with, being open and honest about your sexuality is a great place to start. This is obviously a lot to ask of homosexual men who are not already open about their sexualities, but at the same time it is a simple fact that dating and sex will be easier the more open you are about what you want and need. Society, unfortunately, has a long way to go before it is as accepting as the gay community deserves, but things are getting better, which has led to more opportunity. Just the other day, Vice President Biden expressed his viewpoints on the issue of gay rights, and immediately, the White House went into a tailspin of damage control. This wasn’t an issue they wanted to dig up right now, but now it is. We shall see how it plays out.
• Next, take advantage of places in your area that are meant to accommodate homosexual dating. There are numerous such clubs and bars in most cities. So, while it is sometimes less than ideal to have to seek these places out in the first place, they can also provide a great location and opportunity to meet other homosexual men. Maybe you’ll simply make a friend at the bar. Chances are that person has other gay friends. Friendships lead to relationships as well.
• You can also take advantage of the same types of opportunities online. These days, there are actually plenty of homosexual dating and sex related websites online, all of which can be helpful for meeting potential partners. These sites actually tend to have much higher success rates with leading people to sexual encounters, but it is also possible to find a lasting relationship on these sites as well. To go a step beyond that, you can even find sex toys and accessories at sites like adameve.com specifically designed for homosexual couples!
• Finally, the best advice for a homosexual man looking for relationships and sex in today’s society is not to treat yourself any differently from anyone else. Not long ago it was difficult for homosexual couples to feel comfortable in public, or doing certain things that heterosexual couples don’t think twice about. But again, society has progressed to some extent, and it is now far more common to see openly homosexual couples in public and in dating scenarios. Embracing this change can lead to a far more fulfilling relationship, and is something that should definitely be taken advantage of.
You need to manage your expectations and set limits. Know what you are looking for and don’t allow yourself to be sidetracked. It’s going to be a journey, but be sure to relax and enjoy the scenery while you’re searching for the love of your life.Follow @onegayatatime
Friday afternoon, I had a pitch in the New Jersey suburbs. When the meeting finished, I hopped in my car service home. It would be nice to get home earlier than a normal workday after many late nights at work that week.
Smiles and I made plans to spent the night together. Since I finished early, I took the opportunity to call Smiles and ask him to come over. He wasn’t busy, so he began to get ready and make his way to Hoboken.
When I got back, I wanted to do a few things. I wanted to make a quick run to the grocery store to grab some food to make for dinner, but I also wanted to get a haircut. I was in desperate need of one. I didn’t have time to do both, so I decided to choose the haircut.
I hopped on the motorcycle and hit up my usual spot to get my ears lowered. Of course, I had less time than I originally expected. He began calling the second I sat in the chair. I texted him and asked him to hang out at Starbucks until I could make it down to meet him.
I quickly paid, hopped on the motorcycle, and made my way down to meet Smiles. He was sitting in a comfortable chair sipping his coffee when I arrived. I hung out for a few minutes while he finished because it doesn’t exactly work out well taking a coffee on the back of the motorcycle. While we waited, I pointed out my new botched haircut. He didn’t sugar-coat it for me, and he told me what he thought.
When he finished, we hopped on the bike and went to my apartment. We walked in to find my roommate finally cleaning up his mess in the kitchen. We left him to his work, and we sat and watched TV until we decided what to do with our Friday evening. I introduced Smiles to my new favorite show, An American Horror Story. I was curious how he’d feel about it because he used to be a television producer.
I posed him a decision about food for the evening. I told him I no longer had the energy to cook dinner, so we could grab takeout/delivery, or we could go out for dinner. He suggested we go out for a nice dinner since he’d never really gone out in Hoboken much. I made a few suggestions and showed him them online. We decided on Dino & Harry’s, a great steakhouse I’d actually gone to with N when we were dating. We took a casual stroll up there around 7:30. I knew there would be a long wait since it was such a popular weekend dinner spot. When we arrived, Smiles spoke to the hostess and got an estimated wait for a table. It was 45 min. to an hour. We decided to check out a few other options. We weren’t thrilled with the other options, so we decided to head back to grab a drink at the bar while we waited.
We ordered the calamari appetizer and adult beverages while we talked. Before long, and after a little sweet-talking on Smiles’ part, we were offered a table. I could see in Smiles’ eyes, he was already feeling his drink. It was cute to see his tolerance in juxtaposition to my own high tolerance. I wasn’t turned off at all by it. In fact, I was enjoying it because he was being more playful than usual.
Throughout dinner we had great conversation. I was very happy. It was a very nice night together, and it was nice to be on my home turf for the first time in a while. We shared dessert and had our fill. This was one of the nights on the high end of the spectrum that seemed to make up for the nights on the lower end.
We paid our tab and made our way back to my apartment. The temperature dropped pretty drastically, so we walked as briskly as one can after consuming big steaks and desert.
When we got home, we hopped into my bed and cuddled while we talked for a while. I can’t remember what we talked about, but the conversation was very relaxed and casual. I finally felt he was comfortable with me and was opening up. This led to me removing his shirt and rolling him onto his stomach. I loved pleasing him, so I massaged his shoulders and back.
I wasn’t really in the mood for sex that night. We both had a fair amount to drink and it was a long day for me. I wasn’t going to push the sex issue since I wasn’t into it myself. I would attempt to jump his bones in the morning, the time I am usually at my horniest.
Instead, we both got ready for bed and dozed off. Tomorrow was a new day. Who knew what it would bring?…Follow @onegayatatime