Memorial Day was approaching quickly, and I had no plans. Anything I did at this point was going to be a staycation. I checked with my neighbor, and his plans were to go down to the shore for the holiday weekend. He left that Friday and came back the following Monday.
I was in the midst of trying to find new roommates and a new apartment. I scheduled multiple showings with my broker to see apartments that day, all the while trying to monitor craigslist to see if I got any hits for prospective roommates. Needless to say, I was stressed.
I really needed a distraction from my crumbling home life. My apartment is for sale and could be bought any second, and both my roommates were moving out. I felt all alone. I went for a long hard run since it was such a nice day. I figured I could at least put the nervous energy to good use. But when I finished my run, my anxiety returned.
That night I had a BBQ and invited a bunch of my friends over. One of my best friends since moving to Hoboken, her roommate, 2 other girls they brought into the group, and one of the girl’s male friends visiting from San Diego all came with wine in hand. My sister and one of my other good friends, K, also joined the party with ample supplies.
The BBQ was nice and got my mind off things for a time, but it was still in the back of my head. I posted to facebook my unhappy status, “Feeling very alone right now.” North Carolina read this and immediately texted me.
We exchanged texts. He was missing the man he met while on vacation in Florida. I explained my roommate situation. He jokingly said that he’d move in, but wouldn’t be able to until July 1. He explained that his gay roommate was making very inappropriate passes at him, and it was making him very uncomfortable. He sent me some of the messages, and my jaw nearly hit the floor. I called his bluff and told him to move in. This wouldn’t be the first time he was slated to move in.
We talked back-n-forth for some time, and I convinced him to come out to the apartment for a BBQ the following night. I invited my sister, K, D, and his girlfriend L as well. We had another great time with food and wine all night. After we ate, my sister, K, and NC all went out to the bars. We bounced from dead spot to dead spot, the whole time bonding with NC.
We talked about Grindr and our hookups and the guys we were pursuing. We talked about winging for each other and how great it would be to live together. We also chatted about the status of my relationship with my neighbor, a coworker and previous hookup of his. At the time, they were not getting along. Both of them thought they were better than the other, and their egos were getting the better of them. NC told me I was a gook-looking guy, and I could do much better than him. He told me about the night they hooked up, which I would later find was contradictory to the other party’s recollection of the night. However, I was really happy with where the situation was headed, but I wouldn’t relax until he signed a check.
He ended up spending the night in my roommates room. When I got him settled in, and went to my room, I noticed he never closed the door. He is a very attractive man, and I definitely had some sexual attraction to him, but he was going to be my roommate. I don’t sh*t where I eat. I wasn’t going to make a move. I laid in my bed wondering if I would hear a knock at my door. But none came, and I drifted off to sleep.
The next morning, he woke and had to be back home early. He borrowed a T-shirt, and we walked towards the PATH. I was meeting some of the girls from the first BBQ night. As we walked, he sounded 99% committed to moving in. He had to make sure he could get out of his current place first. As we went to say goodbye, I extended my hand for a handshake, but he pulled me in for a hug. It was a very nice gesture and was very appreciated.
Memorial Day was spent lounging on the pier in Hoboken trying to get some color. My neighbor and I had been texting most of the day, as he was on his way back from the shore. Before heading home, he came and met me at the pier. We sat and chatted a bit, and he talked with many of my friends.
That Wednesday I was slated to go to Memphis for an important business trip. After him being away, I wanted to see him the night before my business trip. I knew I’d be gone for the next 2 days and would be stressed. I wanted to get some quality time in with him.
The next morning, I finished packing while he got ready for work. We said goodbye and decided we would talk later in the day. He was very supportive and sent me texts wishing me luck on my trip. This was really starting to feel like a strong relationship.
P.S. North Carolina would eventually not move in because he got a job with a consulting firm and moved back home to save money until he got placed on a project… Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, shame on you!Follow @onegayatatime