Posts Tagged anal play

This is Just the Beginning

The morning after my friend’s wedding, CK and I woke up in bliss. We started talking in hypotheticals about our own wedding. I’d never given any thought to my wedding since coming to terms with my homosexuality. I never had this great picture in my mind. It always just seemed like this big dream I’d never attain. But, now that I had CK, it was growing in possibility. I still didn’t imagine our picture-perfect wedding, but I did picture myself spending the rest of my life with him. I could see us old and gray together sitting on rockers on the front porch or going for our evening constitutional after a nice meal we shared at home on the sun deck.

Warning: The following may be too graphic for some. This isn’t exactly how I woke up. Before all this marriage talk, I awoke to warming, wet sensation in my groin. He continue this while I slowly woke and writhed with pleasure. I reached down and grabbed the back of his head while it bobbed up and down. Eventually, I grabbed hold of his hair and directed his head up to meet mine so I could kiss him. What a way to wake up. We continued fooling around in bed until we both finished.

I have had quite a few men in my life. Some of these men I’d dated for quite some time. CK was the first man to figure out how to make me finish every time. All that remained of my former embarrassing “condition” was barely an echo of a thought in the back of my brain. CK had often times mentioned to me how stupid my previous love interests were for letting me go. It was then I realized Broadway let me go when the sex started to deteriorate. Sex was a large part of our relationship, and when I found it difficult to finish, he lost interest in me. It made me question the relationship as a whole. Was the whole thing based on sex? Did he simply keep me around cause I was good in the sack? None of my previous relationships have instilled any bit of confidence in me, so I thought it better to not think about them anymore. I had something new and magical to concentrate my brain power on — There was no need to live in the past.

CK made me finish by manually stimulating my prostate. His magic touch is what kept our sex life alive and strong. By relieving this burden, I was able to concentrate more on other things, and I was able to relax. As a result, we had an incredibly healthy sex life. However, this comes with a price. No one likes to talk about it, but anal play can be awkward. Although I’d learned to relax, I was very self-conscious about things. I tell you this because I want to ease your fears about this. It gets messy. There are no two ways about it. There are ways to reduce this, and I highly recommend learning them. But, in the end, you both realize it’s no big deal and move on. I’m not saying this time was messy, but over the time I’d been dating CK, we both became comfortable with dealing with any situation that arose. There’s nothing a strategically placed small towel and a little soap and water can’t remedy.

When we finished in bed, we hopped in the shower and began to fool around more. We didn’t have sex because water is an awful lubricant! We washed each other from head to toe, making sure not to miss any of the nooks or crannies.

Afterwards, it was time for breakfast. I was being healthy, so I had yogurt. I’d decided to begin a new diet (and by diet I simply mean I was paying attention to what went into my face hole). I taught him how simple it was to make French toast, so he had that for breakfast. He was fascinated to learn how easy it was to make and enjoyed it even more knowing he made it.

I had made plans for us for the day to head to a friend’s for a barbecue. I made the mistake of assuming since we were in my neighborhood, I was responsible for entertaining us. We talked and decided to take the motorcycle out for a ride before we did anything. It was only when I mentioned we’d be dropping off food at my friend, D and K’s apartment that he learned about the barbecue. He wasn’t mad about it, but he didn’t appreciate not being consulted before plans were set. I apologized for being inconsiderate. I knew I was in the wrong and felt bad about it, but all was well.

We planned to film the motorcycle ride with CK’s iPhone similar to what we did on the bikes in Central Park, but it didn’t exactly work as planned. We rigged a contraption to record the ride, but the angle of the camera was toward the road. We’ll have to make a second attempt and post the video here when we get it down pat.

When we finished our ride, we went back to D and K’s apartment. There was a fun crew gathering, and I introduced CK to a few newbies he’d never met before. We spent the afternoon eating and having fun. The conversation was bustling between everyone, but the time came for us to head out. CK asked if we could go. He wanted me all to himself. I didn’t argue because I thought it was incredibly sweet of him. I was also happy to learn he liked all my friends and enjoyed seeing how well he fit in.

We went home and cuddled in my bed while watching a few more episodes of Game of Thrones. I made us fish for dinner, and when we finished, we made our way back into the city to spend the night.

While walking back to his apartment, he commented how he enjoyed taking the publicly more submissive role, cradling his hand in the crook of my arm. Being a guy who likes to protect and cuddle my man, I enjoyed being the more dominant role. We really fit well together, in every sense of a relationship. It’s as if we were meant for each other. When we finally got back to his place, we relaxed in bed with some Rachel Maddow. I was exhausted after a long weekend, so I didn’t last long before I dozed off cradling the man I love.

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My Adult Book Report

Warning: The following may be too graphic for some. It is of a sexual nature. Proceed with caution!

A few months ago, the fine folks at Tickle Kitty approached me. It seems bestselling author and sex educator, Dr. Sadie Allison published her fifth book, Tickle My Tush: Mild-to-Wild Analplay Adventures for Everybooty. They offered to send me her latest paperback that helps men and women learn the true pleasures of the under-explored “seat of love” for review on my blog.

I enthusiastically accepted the offer, and anxiously awaited its arrival in the mail. I wasn’t entirely sure what I was getting myself into, but how bad could it be? I’m gay. If I had an aversion to anal play, I’d be a very lonely man the rest of my life. Maybe I could learn a thing or two from the book as well.

I wasn’t the only one anxiously awaiting my new book. My roommates were also waiting with bated breath to see what the book was all about. When it finally arrived, we all passed it around paging though to see what exciting new tips we could learn.  After we’d all had our fun like immature high school students in the locker room, I took the book back and began reading it.

Tickle My Tush is a light-hearted fun look at anal sex for mainly heterosexual couples, however, a homosexual man can learn a lot from this book. Dr. Sadie covers a lot of material in this quick read — The 14 chapters of this book cover everything from safety and heinie hygiene to toys, strap-ons, and positions of pleasure. And, Dr. Sadie takes a light-hearted approach by using playful language instead of some complicated medical jargon no one understands or uses.

This book does a wonderful job removing the stigma from anal play/sex. I can think back to when I was first experimenting with homosexuality, I wanted nothing to do with anal play. I watched it in porn, and it really just seemed like something I didn’t need. I could think of many other things I could do to satisfy my sexual urges. It was something I saw as overwhelming and uncomfortable. Frankly, I was scared of it. If you find yourself in that position, reading this book will answer a lot of the questions and will clear up a lot of the misconceptions you may have.

What I really like about this book is that it pushes straight men to open their minds and their bottoms to the idea of anal play with their female sex partners. I enjoy sex, and even as a “top,” I enjoy many of the pleasures my bottom has to offer. Having your prostate stimulated for the first time is a mind-altering experience. Many straight men don’t realize the potential their bottoms have for pleasure. I would hope books like these remove the stigma and open their minds to anal play. This book also removes the stigma for women to explore. It takes away the idea that enjoying anal sex makes you dirty or a slut. It’s simply exploring all the pleasures you body has to offer.

As you read, the book certainly gets more adventurous. It starts with safety, hygiene, anatomy and the basics and moves through finger, oral, genital, toy and strap-on pleasures.

One of my favorite chapters is 6: Sensual Booty Massage. It has always been something I’ve enjoyed. “As an often overlooked erogenous zone, those two cheeks are always eager for sensual arousal from kneading, squeezing, kissing, licking, spanking, gentle biting, father-light touching — or simply calming moments of warm-handed stillness. Why stop at the cheeks? Lustily arousing the hips, waist, small of the back, inner thighs and A-spot can add thrilling new dimensions to your lovemaking.” Some are tried and true methods I’ve been using forever, and some are a few new methods I’m dying to try.

Some of Dr. Sadie’s advise is spot on! One of my favorite parts of the book acknowledge the problem I have relaxing during sex. It’s the root of my inability to climax at times. Her best advice — UN-focus.

This book is a great read for the anal play beginner. I can think back to the guy who inserted himself with great force inside me with no preparation whatsoever. I ran out of the room in pain. I can think of the virgin who allowed me to penetrate him for the first time and how scared he was until he learned how much he loved being penetrated. I’ve been with a few newbies in my days, and there is a lot they can learn from this book. On top of it all, the illustrations that ensue are purely erotic. I think they are my favorite part of the book!

There are a few things in the book I disagree with on some level. For instance. in regard to the question, “Do you really need an enema before anal sex?” Dr. Sadie says no. But, after a few of my own horrific experiences, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT.

Overall, I must say, I didn’t learn a whole lot from this book I didn’t already know. That is because the first guy I slept with was a very good teacher, and I have a curious mind that has been satiated by experimentation. But, not everyone is as lucky as I am. If I had this book from the start, it certainly would have made for many less awkward situations. The thing I most learned from the book was anatomy. In fact, I often refer back to it to make sure I am giving my man the most pleasure I am capable of.

Dr. Sadie does an excellent job giving you the basic tools you need to be confident, succeed in anal play in the bedroom and know you can enjoy the untapped pleasures your bottom holds. She gives you invaluable tips that help get you in tune with your partner. She answers a lot of the embarrassing/uncomfortable things that may arise with anal play so that when you encounter them in the bedroom, you can proceed past them without the interrupting the fun. So buy it — Read it — And for heaven’s sake, try out all the new things you learn with someone you feel truly comfortable with. You’d be surprised what exciting new experiences you can unlock.

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