Posts Tagged home
Gym Hottie
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on March 14, 2012
Since my breakup with Smiles, I’ve been making greater efforts to spend more time with friends. I didn’t neglect them while I was dating him, but I certainly didn’t shower them with attention either. They’re very important to me, and I wanted to make sure they knew they were appreciated. Of course, I also just loved hanging out with them, otherwise they wouldn’t be my friends.
One of my old roommates asked me if I wanted to go out to the bar. It’d been a long time since he’d done this. It came quite out of the blue, but I was very happy for the invitation. Since we don’t live together, we get along much better. It wasn’t that we fought all the time while we lived together or anything. It’s just much simpler now. I look forward to bar nights with him.
At the same time, one of the girls who I know from my annual Martha’s Vineyard trips was planning a birthday gathering the same night a block from my office. I asked my old roommate if he minded going there for happy hour. I thought it would make things convenient so I could spend time with both. It’d been a long time since I caught up with both friends.
My old roommate and I arrived at the bar early. We made our way through the crowd at Gingerman to the bar to order some beers. I offered to pick up the first round, as I generally do. I handed him his beer and we cheersed. It was at that moment I learned it was his birthday. I had no idea until he said something. I felt like such a sh*t. He was a close friend, and I was usually up on that sort of thing. I have everyone’s birthday in my phone, so I checked to see how I missed the date. It turned out I didn’t have his birthday in there, but with more investigation, I had scheduled it a month later on the same date. I told him how bad I felt, but also added, “At least I offered to buy the round! Haha.” He laughed and quickly forgave my mistake. I thought about it for a second, and realized I was the only one meeting him for drinks. I was the one he wanted to spend his birthday with. I was touched and happy.
We stood by the door because it was the only place we could stand, drink and have a discussion. He told me his plans to go to Atlantic City that weekend for his birthday with a busload of people. I wished him luck since it sounded like such a complicated situation.
After some time, the birthday girl arrived. She came in and gave me a big hug. I introduced her to my old roommate, and we quickly caught up. She decided to make her way to the back of the bar to see if she could grab a table when the bouncer chased us away from the front door. My old roommate and I had already been back there and knew there were no tables, so I let her find out for herself after telling her that. He and I made our way to the front corner of the bar. Just as we did, a couch opened up. I texted the birthday girl to come join us. About ten minutes later, she finally did and brought the rest of her group over.
I talked with my old roommate as more and more people filtered in. It was becoming an intimate little circle. I introduced him to everyone that joined that I knew. When the evening was dragging on, I decided I was read to head home. I had to take equipment home from work, so I was going to book a car service from my office. I invited my old roommate to join me since he still lives in Hoboken as well, and he accepted. I pointed out how I bought all his drinks and provided him a ride home, proving I wasn’t a bad friend who forgot his birthday after all.
We said goodbye to the birthday girl and the rest of the group. She pulled me aside and told me how cute he was. I explained to her he wasn’t a love interest. I pointed out how she’d met him at my Christmas parties, as well as his girlfriend. She was so confused, but I realized what happened. He was guilty by association. Because he was sitting on the couch with me, and because of my status as a gay man, everyone who knew this bit of information also assumed he was gay as well.
As we walked to the car, I pointed out to him what happened. Even though there was nothing I could have done to prevent it, I apologized to him for it. He was oblivious to it, and he laughed it off.
That night, I also had to say goodbye to another ex-roommate. He was still a good friend and tennis partner. He was moving to San Francisco for work, which meant I would probably see him once a year like my other San Francisco friends. I was very sad to see another friend go. Slowly but surely, all my friends were moving away or pairing up and falling off the face of the earth. I know this is part of getting older, but that doesn’t make it any less painful.
My sister and I went to the bar where he and his friends were gathering. It was nice to get to see him since it had been so long. He’d been quite busy with his new job, but now I’d see even less of him. After I got to chat with him for a bit, I texted my other friends, D and his girlfriend and asked what they were up to. They wanted to meet up for drinks, so we decided to go to Cooper’s Union, where I know the owner and bartender.
We met them there, and the whole lot of us wasn’t charged for a single drink the entire night. He always took great care of me and my friends when he worked at my usual watering hole. Now that he branched off and opened his own bar, the attention only got better.
I had a great time with everyone that night. I got to see so many of my friends. Normally I’m too lazy to do any of these things. I always bail last minute out of selfishness, but I was trying to be better about it. It was already paying off. I had a really great time.
In the middle of all this, a gorgeous man walked into the bar. I’d seen him many times before. I’d actually seen quite a bit of him as well. He was a usual at my favorite bar, and he was a usual at my gym in the city. Apparently we both lived in Hoboken, and we both worked in the same neighborhood. I’d had a crush on him for a looonnnggg time, but had a very strong feeling he was straight. He was still gorgeous and fun to look at.
At the same time, I noticed he caught my sister’s eye as well. It’s ironic, but we have the same taste in men periodically. We both acknowledged shared interest in him, but I pointed out to her it wasn’t even worth a battle. She’d already won. There was almost no question in my mind he was straight “How do you know?” she asked. “I can just tell. But, I can also tell you he looks great with no clothes on — At least from the backside anyway,” I added. We both laughed and she continued to ogle him from afar. I did as well, but I was much more discreet about it.
When I was tired and it was time to go home, I gathered everyone to make our way home. Of course I wasn’t going to walk out without paying. I gathered cash from everyone and handed him a wad of cash before walking out the door.
I had a great night. I saw a lot of my friends in one night, I got to scope out a hottie I’ve had my eye on, and I had cheap drinks. Maybe single life was working out well for me. Maybe it was time I tried that for a while… Maybe not…
Follow @onegayatatimeJ. Rothman — To the Point
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay News on March 5, 2012
In the spirit of trying new things, once again I have asked a friend to guest host for today’s blog. Our blogs differ greatly, but her blog has some really great content I highly suggest you check out.
Recently one of my roommates turned me on to Pinterest, a Virtual Pinboard that lets you organize and share all the beautiful things you find in your life. People use pinboards to plan their weddings, decorate their homes, and organize their favorite recipes.I find it to be quite entertaining and useful.
For example: one day, I hope to own my own home. As I see cool images/ideas on the web, I pin them to my board for future reference. You can check out my boards here: http://pinterest.com/onegayatatime/.
My good friend J. Rothman is going to tell you all about Pinterest and the magic you can create.
Enjoy!
Hello y’all. My name is J. Rothman from the wonderful world of www.design-newyork.com, and I am filling in here to inform you on the very popular website Pinterest. Here’s the definition of Pinterest on Wikipedia:
“Pinterest is a pinboard-styled social photo sharing website. The service allows users to create and manage theme-based image collections. The site’s mission statement is to “connect everyone in the world through the ‘things’ they find interesting.”
Honestly, I wasn’t that excited about Pinterest when it first came out, specifically for two reasons — One, I am leary of anything new, especially technology-based things (I got my first cell phone when I was twenty-seven, joined Facebook at thirty, etc.), and two, I’ve been keeping something along the lines of Pinterest in a tangible Luddite form for years. Every time I see something on the internet I drag it to a folder on my desktop. When the folder has thirty or so items in it, I print them out on pages, three-hole-punch them and put them in a binder. I use this predominantly for design purposes, and you can see it here:
The only problem with this is you cannot organize this into subgroups, like “posters” or “calligraphy” or “color palettes”. This is one of the places where Pinterest is superior to a scrapbook. You can catalog the images into collections. Here’s how it works.
1. Once you’re signed up, you can do a variety of things, all of which are very fun. You can look through what other people have pinned already and “like” it or “repin” it, or you can pull images yourself off the internet. Underneath the “About” button at the top right is the “Pin It Button” option. You can drag that to your bookmarks bar at the top of your browser window, and whenever you’re on a page that has an image you would like to pin, you click the Pinterest button and — Voila! You see all the images on that webpage. Roll over this image you want, click “pin it” and it’s yours. It’s amazing.
2. You can organize your pins into groups. Under the “Add +” button on the top right corner, there is “Create a Board” button. For example, let’s say you want to make a super kick-a$s cupcake. You find your cupcake inspiration, pin it, and put it in a dedicated “Awesome Cupcakes” board. Want to assemble a collection of pictures of Rio de Janeiro to keep you motivated until you can travel there? No problem, make a board for it.
3. You and your friends can share pins. You can search for your friends, follow their board, and then an email is sent to them asking if they want to follow you back. Here’s what my homepage looks like. I can see what all the people I follow are pinning. It lets me know what they are interested in right now. It’s another way for me to understand what they are thinking about.
4. If you want people to follow your pins from your blog, you can do that. Also under “About / Pin It Button” is the option to add a link to your blog and encourage people to follow your pins.
5. And there’s an app! You need not be tethered to your laptop or desktop. You can pin with wild abandon while sitting in a restaurant or the library or wherever it is that you find yourself.
Remember, the point of Pinterest is not to advertise yourself, so it is recommended that you do not pin your own work. The point is to collect pieces that inspire you and to share those things with your friends. The link below will give you some ideas. Happy Pinning!
http://pinterest.com/about/
Back to Reality
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on February 2, 2012
Christmas day had passed. My time home was coming to an end. I was happy to be home, but I was also anxious to get back to normal life.
The morning after Christmas, my father and I decided to do a little shopping to see if we could land any special deals to kill time. I would also finally be in cell phone service, so I could text Smiles and wish him a safe flight. When I got into service, I got an influx of text and picture messages. He’d sent me quite a few, keeping me updated on what he was up to. I really was missing him and quite anxious to get back to see him. I proposed we do dinner at my apartment since he had to postpone it before the holidays. He texted back in agreement. I was finally going to get to make us the standing rib roast. I told him I missed him, and he responded, “I miss you too! 🙂 “ I could have melted into a puddle right there. This was so unlike him to express his emotions like this, but I was eating it up!
The day after Christmas is always spent with my father’s side of the family. We all gather together for a nice potluck meal that rotates from house to house year to year. This side of the family has also shrunk significantly. My grandparents have been gone since I was quite young. My father’s brother is in rough shape these days from his battles with diabetes. His sister died a few years ago and her husband is in a nursing home. I rarely see their daughter, my cousin since she moved away and got married. That left one sister whose husband also passed away a few years ago. But as that generation was shrinking, another was growing in leaps in bounds. The living sister has 5 children, all of which are married and have become baby making machines. They now outnumber the four of us five to one.
The gathering is always a lively one with many children running about. Christmas is one of the two times I spend with this side of the family each year (the other being an annual family reunion). We also have an annual tradition of a “Yankee gift swap” or “white elephant sale” depending where you come from. The tradition has lost a lot of its allure as my cousins have adopted a new tradition of buying crap at Wal-Mart and Big Lots the day after Christmas for half price.
My sister and I had to work the Tuesday after Christmas, so around 5:00 we hopped in the car and made our way back to Hoboken. When I got back to my apartment and unloaded all my presents from home, I picked up the phone and called Smiles. Sadly, it went straight to voicemail. I was hoping to relax after a long car ride with some time talking to him, but alas, that wouldn’t be the case.
My roommate arrived home, and we swapped all our holiday stories. We plopped down on the couch and started to catch up on the programs we saved on the DVR. After some time, Smiles called. I think if you were in New Jersey when the phone rang, you may have seen a beacon of light in the sky that was my smile.
He told me about his trip home and the ordeal he went through. When he got back to the city, he’d gone out with one of his female friends for dinner. He devised a new plan to work out of her apartment going forward so he would be more productive than he was working out of his apartment. He felt if he had a place to go to every day that wasn’t in line of sight of his bed, he would get more done. I told him I thought it was a great idea. Even though they wouldn’t be coworkers, they could keep each other on task. Either that, or it would be a complete disaster, and they would be a constant distraction for each other.
I told him about my time home, my family and how the gift swap has become a sham. He laughed and told me about the rest of his time home with the family.
It wasn’t a long phone conversation, as our phone calls never are, but it certainly satisfied my hunger for Smiles. It would satiate me until I got to see him the following night when he came over for dinner.
Follow @onegayatatimeNight of Surprises
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on December 29, 2011
After an attempt to make lunch plans, Smiles and I were striking out to find time to get together after a week apart.
I told him I was heading home for the night and was about to leave work. However, I was pleasantly surprised to get the text, “Meet me for a drink at Extra Virgin. I haven’t heard from [my friend] confirming dinner yet, so I’m guessing it will be closer to 8:00 or he will flake.” I wasn’t thrilled with being second choice/fall-back, but I knew this was a friend he hadn’t seen in years who was in the city from L.A., so I was understanding.
I agreed to meet him and texted him when I arrived at the restaurant. “Oh goodness. I’ll be there in 10. Btw, I forgot I have a call from 6:00 – 6:30. My life is a pain-in-the-ass sometimes,” was the response I received. It didn’t help I was already feeling like an afterthought. Now I was learning the little time I had to spend with him was going to be interrupted by a half hour phone call.
I’d already been waiting for him for 15 minutes before he arrived. We exchanged a quick peck and a hug, and he suggested I could go inside while he made the call. I told him I could occupy myself outside while he took care of business.
While he talked with his movie team about next steps with their film, I sat on my phone playing with every app I could think of to pass the time. I checked my WordPress stats. I answered emails. I read everyone’s Twitter post that day. Anything I could do to keep busy.
When he finished his call, we grabbed a seat at the bar. The bartender was struggling to harvest a pomegranate, so I offered to help her. Smiles pointed out my culinary experience and told her she was in for a real treat. She was all too happy to receive my advice, as this was one chore she abhorred. After running to the restroom to wash my hands, I demonstrated for her how she could save herself some time and energy. She was very appreciative of my advice and thanked me.
Smiles and I placed our drink orders. We chatted over drinks on the spinning stools. I made it a point to turn my stool so I was facing him and our legs were interlocked. I heard all about his holiday on Long Island and the craziness he went through upon his return with his client. I told him about my relaxing trip home, my dysfunctional family, my Black Friday adventures, and my slow day at work.
At one point he had my his arms extended with his hands on my thighs rubbing them. He flippantly made the comment, “I love your big manly legs.” This was the first time he’d ever complimented my physically, so I took notice. He continued to rub them and massage them, and I continued to melt inside.
At that moment, he checked his phone and learned his friend wouldn’t be able to do dinner that evening, so they agreed upon breakfast the following morning.
With that, he turned to me and asked if I’d like to get dinner somewhere. Surprised, I told him, “Well. We’re already here. Why don’t we just eat here.” I was expecting to get the boot at any moment throughout the course of the evening, but instead I was extended a dinner invitation. Once again, I was happy to get to spend time with him.
We quickly placed our dinner orders and continued our conversation. Our dinner was very pleasant, and our meals were excellent. After we finished eating, we split the bill and began to walk down the street.
As per usual, when we reached the crossroad between his place and the PATH, we said goodbye. And, as per usual, it was said with a simple kiss and a gentle squeeze. I pulled him back in for another kiss and made it more than a peck. He smiled, and we said goodbye.
When I got back to Hoboken, on my walk to my apartment, I texted, “Mmmmmmm. I like you. You make me happy… Just felt the need to say that…” He responded twenty minutes later, “Awwww. 🙂 Thank you.” Clearly, he didn’t feel confident to reciprocate the sentiment just yet, which stung slightly, but then again, I already knew I was ready to move faster than was…
Follow @onegayatatimeWhen Do I Get To See You Again?
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on December 28, 2011
I hadn’t seen Smiles in a week. The holiday break meant we’d be spending a fair amount of time apart. Time apart can be a good thing, but I missed him. I wanted to see him, and I was trying to do what I could to make that happen sooner than later.
Monday morning, I texted him asking if he could take the time out of his day to grab lunch. He was with his billionaire friend/client, “Back to you on that shortly,” he said.
In the middle of the afternoon, he called. He wasn’t going to be able to meet for lunch because he was still with his client, and even if he did finish in a timely manner, his brain was mush and he was a mess mentally. “It wouldn’t be fair to you because I would be a shell of a person, and I wouldn’t exactly be present,” he added. We agreed to shoot for lunch the following day, Tuesday, and he promised he would call me later when he had more time/sanity.
At ten after five, I received a text from Smiles: “Hey babe. How did your day finish up?” I told him, “Today, I didn’t do one shred of work other than sending someone a file. Getting ready to head home soon…” I wanted him to know I was heading home since he wasn’t able to meet up. I wasn’t going to hang around for the possibility of seeing him…
Short Goodbyes
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on December 26, 2011
Still thrilled about a spectacular weekend with Smiles, I began a new week.
Monday passed by without me seeing Smiles again. I did speak to him however. We spoke while I walked home from work. He still had a migraine, and I tried to console him. I wished there was something I could do for him, but I was powerless.
He had a work event that evening, so he soldiered on. His migraine was lessened, but he still wasn’t 100%. I knew it was going to be a long night for him.
He called when the event was over to say hi and check in on me. I always relish his phone calls just to say hi and ask me about my day.
I explained to him I was watching the first Twilight movie. It happened to be on TV that night, so I made it a point to watch in an attempt to catch up to the current day release of Twilight: Breaking Dawn pt. 1. I was also able to find the second and third installments in the series on the guide over the next few days. Smiles seemed excited to see the movie, so I was putting in the effort to get onboard. I have to say, they’re certainly not amazing cinema, they’re not unbearable either.
I asked him to wait to see the movie together in the theater. He agreed. After talking about the series, he realized he’d never see the third installment, Twilight: Eclipse. I told him I would keep it on my DVR, and we could watch it together before hitting up the newest in the theater.
We were also coming up on Thanksgiving. I struggled with the thought of inviting him to come home with me. He is from and his family is still in Florida. I knew he wasn’t planning to go home, but I wasn’t sure if he’d have other plans. The thought of inviting him came from numerous places. I felt we were comfortable with each other, and I knew he would stand well with my family. He was very good at getting along with strangers, and I knew he could win them over, especially since this would be the first time they’d learn about my homosexuality. I knew it would have been a little early in our relationship to ask him to come home with me, and this is the main reason why I didn’t. I didn’t want him to think I was a little psycho.
In the meantime, I learned he finally did make plans for Thanksgiving. He was going to a few friends’ homes out on Long Island in the Hamptons and on Fire Island. I was happy he found some special people to spend the holiday with, but was a little disappointed I wouldn’t be spending it with him.
Before I went home, and he split for Long Island, I wanted to see him again. I suggested we grab coffee or something quick because I knew he would be quite busy with work leading up to our departures on Wednesday. He told me we’d have to play it by ear, but he would make a concerted effort to work it out.
I was worried I wasn’t going to see him before the long holiday weekend. We’d spent other weekends apart, so this shouldn’t be that big of a deal, but to me it was. I wasn’t spending the holiday with him, so I wanted the next best thing.
Tuesday evening I had a dermatologist appointment to have an ingrown hair taken care of. We were going to attempt to meet after as long as time allowed for it in his schedule.
It turned out he was able to meet. In the rain, I made my way to Lyon to grab a drink with him before he was going out to dinner with business colleagues who were in town for the week.
This was the first time I’d see him following a workday in which he interacted with clients. He looked very smart and super cute. It was all I could do to keep my hands off him. He was happy to see me, but I could tell he was pretty exhausted from a long day. We ordered some small dishes because I was ready for dinner, and his dinner wasn’t until 10:00 or 11:00. The conversation was nice, and we discussed our plans for the weekend. He also expressed concern for the incision on my abdomen from the dermatologist. When we finished, we paid the bill and began to walk towards the PATH/his subway.
We popped into a fun travel amenities shop to check out some of the cool things we noticed in the front window.
We walked a little further and reached his subway. He began to descend the staircase, and I called after him to explain I wouldn’t be joining him since it didn’t take me near the PATH. He walked back up a few steps and gave me a quick kiss as he said goodbye.
It was very unceremonious and not very romantic, but I decided to concentrate on the fact that I got to spend time with him at all before he left.
Follow @onegayatatimeAt the ripe age of 26, I came to a life changing conclusion. I'm GAY!
It took me 26 years to realize this and come to terms with it, but coming out's been the best decision of my life.
This blog is about my dating life in NYC and what happens next...
One Gay at a Time 
Lazy Morning
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on February 3, 2012
Today is another Fast Forward Friday!!!
Hope you are enjoying these. It will help bring the blog a little closer to real time. If you’re keeping up with the stories chronologically, please skip down to this morning’s post first, then read this one. I think it’s a good one! Enjoy!
Back to your special edition of One Gay At A Time…
Smiles and I had a very special night together sharing dinner in my apartment. We went to be happily in each other’s arms after being away from each other for some time. I’m not entirely sure why, but I felt he’d finally come around to me.
The massage didn’t last long and the seduction failed to the grumbles of Smiles’ stomach. I should have remembered that was his first priority in the morning.
We sat at the kitchen counter and ate while we chatted a bit about what we had to do the rest of the day. I also caught Smiles up on some of the events going on around the world since he didn’t have cable and wasn’t the best at staying informed.
After breakfast, we returned to my room. I needed to get ready for the office, and Smiles needed to get dressed to head home to begin his workday. We started to make out a bit until I pulled him towards the bed. “Do you want to have sex?” he asked. I giggled with a big grin and replied, “Of course. Why do you think I was trying to seduce you before? I always want sex.” That was also my subtle way of letting him know I wanted to have more sex.
Warning: The following may be too graphic for some. I was already on my back with him on top of me, so I could only assume he wanted to top this time around. I topped the last time, so I only thought it fair to receive this time. I slipped the condom on him as he made a comment questioning whether I was doing it right. “[Smiles]. This isn’t my first condom, obviously,” I quipped.
I was getting very close as I pleasured myself while he penetrated me. Just as I was about to climax, he said, “I going to cum.” I quickly responded, “Me too.” And with that, as close as I was, I was a mile away from finishing. In that split second of him distracting me, I lost it. I could feel my muscles quivering just before he said anything, but it was gone. Now, it was top of mind, and I knew it wasn’t going to happen.
Smiles would have been so happy. He’d wanted to make me finish for so long, and he would have been the first to do so from topping me. Alas, it wasn’t meant to be. When it didn’t, I could see him looking into my eyes with compassion. The sex was great. There was no pain or awkwardness. I wanted to show him how much I enjoyed it, but I couldn’t. My mental block got in the way once again.
After we relaxed and kissed a bit, he suggested we clean up in the shower. He was getting ready to hop in, and I told him I was coming in with him. My shower has two shower heads and a seat. Everyone that has seen my shower has made sexual comments about it, and I was going to finally get some use out of them.
I wanted to have some more sensual time together, and when I hopped in, Smiles began to wash me. I was very turned on by this. When he finished, I tried to do the same for him, but he wasn’t interested. He rinsed off and hopped out of the shower to dry off. I watched him as he toweled off, and immediately got extremely aroused. He put lotion on his face with his towel on the floor while I pleasured myself in the shower at the sight. When he left my bathroom, I beckoned him to come back in the shower and help me finish. I wanted him to be a part of it. He climbed in and I pressed myself against his back while I tried to finish. Once again, failure.
When we ran out of hot water, we hopped out. He finished applying lotion and brushing his teeth while I masturbated on my bed. I needed to finish somehow or work was going to be hell for me! He came and joined me in the crook of one my arms while I pleasured myself. FINALLY, it came. I thought of him dropping the towel in the bathroom, and it set me off. I was disappointed it wasn’t a direct reaction to something Smiles did, but I was relieved he was there to witness that it was possible and that my climax was something pretty special 😉 .
We quickly finished getting ready and walked to the PATH with my roommate chatting the whole way. The conversation wasn’t as free-flowing between us as much as when it was just the two of us. I wondered if Smiles had issues with PDA and public discussion. It just felt a little awkward.
When we got to his stop, I gave him a peck on the lips to say goodbye. I thought about that morning all day. I was happy to finally finish with him in the room, but I wished it came at Smiles’ hand. I think it would have been an ego boost for him and a big step forward for the two of us. However, it was progress — Baby steps. This something I was going to conquer, hopefully with Smiles’ assistance.
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