Posts Tagged lost phone
As predicted, Monday was the day from hell. We had a huge pitch on Tuesday morning, so it was constant work until the end.
There was already no chance Smiles and I would see each other. However, we did get to chat on the phone briefly. He had to do work with his film, and I would be working until the wee hours of the morning to finalize the content for the pitch. I didn’t end up leaving my office until 1:30am.
I really wanted to see him Tuesday. I wasn’t going to be around the rest of the week, and whenever I have a long work pitch or long work trip, I look forward to decompressing with a sexy guy, even if it doesn’t involve sex. I asked him if we could do something, but he already made plans.
I was heading home Wednesday for my grandfather’s funeral. It was going to be a while before I got to see him again, and I was really disappointed. Things were really getting strained between us, at least on my end. We weren’t having sex as often as I’d like, and I was constantly on a roller-coaster of emotions. Smiles would pay a lot of attention to me and make me feel great, and then retract and shy away from me. I didn’t know how much more I could take it.
This was no easy task for me. I struggled with it. I carried my phone with me everywhere I went in case he tried to call or text, but it was silent. Part of me wondered if he thought it was a very personal family time, and he just didn’t want to bother me. But, the bigger part of me thought he had other things with which he was preoccupied.
Finally, Thursday he texted me to see how I was doing. It was progress. He was texting to check up on me, and I appreciated it. I texted him back after some time passed.
When Friday came about, he called and left a message. It was impeccable timing. I was just about to walk into the funeral parlor when my phone began ringing. After the viewing, I stepped out from the family gathering and called him back. We had a nice conversation.
The following day, I went to the funeral. Afterwards, I came home. I have awful cell service at my parents’ house. I finally managed to get signal by using the Wi-Fi. Ironically, right after I texted him, we lost power in the snow storm, so if he responded, I couldn’t read it if I tried.
I was home with no power, no internet, no phone and no TV. It had snowed about a foot outside, so we were trapped. On top of it, I was missing the Halloween festivities with my friends back in Hoboken. I wasn’t heartbroken about that, but I was disappointed. Instead, I spent the day shaking snow off trees so the branches wouldn’t break.
I was really feeling ignored overall by Smiles. The time away wasn’t a good thing for me. It was making me realize how little attention he was paying to me. I started to think about some of the other prospects I had spoken to. I could have pursued LES, but he was young and lived in an inconvenient part of town. There were a few guys who were still sending me messages on OKCupid. While I wasn’t seeking out anyone new, I maintained communication with them. I was now beginning to think about them as prospects. All I knew was I deserved better. Was I just jumping the gun? Was it still early with him? I personally thought we should have been over that hump, and if he was interested in me, he’d want to spend more time with me.
When Sunday arrived, my sister and I made our way back to Hoboken. It was a bit of an adventure with the snowfall and trees laying across the road. Once I got back to Hoboken, I hopped on Facebook. Smiles messaged me, and I learned he lost his phone. He told me about going out for Halloween and how he lost it. We made plans to grab brunch, and I made my way into the city. I didn’t forget about the lack of attention he paid me, but I tried to concentrate on the moment at hand. I was going to proceed with skeptical optimism. It was the only way I was going to keep my sanity.Follow @onegayatatime
The day after my spectacular night and romantic dinner date with N, I was heading home to Pennsylvania for my cousin’s graduation party. It was father’s day weekend, and I hadn’t been home in a month or so, so my sister and I visited until Saturday evening.
Days before I left, N came over and had a serious conversation with me. He told me his roommate was having a birthday party and wanted to invite my friends and I, but this was something we needed to discuss. I could see how uncomfortable he was, but I could also see he really wanted me to come. He said so. But, since he wasn’t out to his roommates yet, he didn’t know how to handle having me there. Who would I be? Why was I there? How did I know Amanda? All questions that would have to be answered.
I looked him in the eye and cut him off at the pass. I said, “Hey. We don’t have to do this. I know you want me there, but if this makes you uncomfortable I get it. And, I’m sure Amanda will understand too. I was in the same position you are in a year ago. I know what you’re feeling. And, trust me. I will not put any pressure on you whatsoever. You have to do this on your own timeline when you feel comfortable. If that means me not coming to one party, I’m ok with that.” Immediately his eyes lit up. I could see how relieved he was. I told him to think about what he wants and let me know when he decided.
So, on my way back to Hoboken from PA, I was texting N to find out his decision. However, I wasn’t really getting a response. In the back of my mind, I knew it was a bad idea, and I shouldn’t go. Even if he told me he wanted me to come, I was probably going to tell him no for his benefit. He made the decision very easy when he didn’t respond. I decided to make other plans with other friends in town.
A friend of mine met a guy at the gym and found out he was gay. I’ve been waiting for this to happen. His immediate response to him was to send him my way. I had my first gay set-up. He told him I was gay and directed him to this blog. So, I hit him up to see if he wanted to join us at the bar. He obliged. This wasn’t to make N jealous or anything. I had a man. I didn’t need another. This guy seemed very nice, and I thought it polite to meet him and maybe make a new friend.
As I was about to walk out the door to go to the bar at 10:00 p.m., I received a text from N saying, “Ok. You can come over, but remember. Be discrete and we’re just friends.” I told him of my other plans and said maybe I would see him later that night.
I met the guy from the gym at the bar with my friends and we sat on the rooftop and chatted. I introduced him to everyone, and he began to tell me his story. He was in a 9 year relationship that didn’t make it for all the wrong reasons. My heart was breaking when he told me his story. I wanted to give him a big hug right there. He seemed a little broken, but I could tell it was helping him to tell his story. I told him about my ex-“boyfriend,” as well as N and how things were going between us.
Then, late in the night, N texted me telling me he was coming to the bar I was at with the birthday party. When he arrived, he came running over, very drunk, and kissed me on the forehead. I introduced him to the guy from the gym. We didn’t hang out much at the bar, mainly because he was there with a bunch of his friends who didn’t know he was gay. I was okay with it. Again, on his terms. On his schedule. No pressure.
At one point, N realized he lost his phone and was panicked to find it. He tried calling his phone and the cab company he used to get to the bar. He wanted to go home to check if he lost it there. I told him I was ready to leave, and we could go back to our apartments so he could find it. But, only after we got pizza. He agreed. We grabbed a few slices and hopped in a cab back to our apts. The cab dropped him off and he ran in, yelling back, “I’ll be over in a few minutes.”
I took his slices, my friend’s and mine, and we went into my apartment. Quite some time passed, and I realized N wasn’t coming over. I chalked it up to one of those nights, got my friend settled on the couch, and went to bed. Alone.Follow @onegayatatime