Posts Tagged City Bistro
The day after my spectacular night and romantic dinner date with N, I was heading home to Pennsylvania for my cousin’s graduation party. It was father’s day weekend, and I hadn’t been home in a month or so, so my sister and I visited until Saturday evening.
Days before I left, N came over and had a serious conversation with me. He told me his roommate was having a birthday party and wanted to invite my friends and I, but this was something we needed to discuss. I could see how uncomfortable he was, but I could also see he really wanted me to come. He said so. But, since he wasn’t out to his roommates yet, he didn’t know how to handle having me there. Who would I be? Why was I there? How did I know Amanda? All questions that would have to be answered.
I looked him in the eye and cut him off at the pass. I said, “Hey. We don’t have to do this. I know you want me there, but if this makes you uncomfortable I get it. And, I’m sure Amanda will understand too. I was in the same position you are in a year ago. I know what you’re feeling. And, trust me. I will not put any pressure on you whatsoever. You have to do this on your own timeline when you feel comfortable. If that means me not coming to one party, I’m ok with that.” Immediately his eyes lit up. I could see how relieved he was. I told him to think about what he wants and let me know when he decided.
So, on my way back to Hoboken from PA, I was texting N to find out his decision. However, I wasn’t really getting a response. In the back of my mind, I knew it was a bad idea, and I shouldn’t go. Even if he told me he wanted me to come, I was probably going to tell him no for his benefit. He made the decision very easy when he didn’t respond. I decided to make other plans with other friends in town.
A friend of mine met a guy at the gym and found out he was gay. I’ve been waiting for this to happen. His immediate response to him was to send him my way. I had my first gay set-up. He told him I was gay and directed him to this blog. So, I hit him up to see if he wanted to join us at the bar. He obliged. This wasn’t to make N jealous or anything. I had a man. I didn’t need another. This guy seemed very nice, and I thought it polite to meet him and maybe make a new friend.
As I was about to walk out the door to go to the bar at 10:00 p.m., I received a text from N saying, “Ok. You can come over, but remember. Be discrete and we’re just friends.” I told him of my other plans and said maybe I would see him later that night.
I met the guy from the gym at the bar with my friends and we sat on the rooftop and chatted. I introduced him to everyone, and he began to tell me his story. He was in a 9 year relationship that didn’t make it for all the wrong reasons. My heart was breaking when he told me his story. I wanted to give him a big hug right there. He seemed a little broken, but I could tell it was helping him to tell his story. I told him about my ex-“boyfriend,” as well as N and how things were going between us.
Then, late in the night, N texted me telling me he was coming to the bar I was at with the birthday party. When he arrived, he came running over, very drunk, and kissed me on the forehead. I introduced him to the guy from the gym. We didn’t hang out much at the bar, mainly because he was there with a bunch of his friends who didn’t know he was gay. I was okay with it. Again, on his terms. On his schedule. No pressure.
At one point, N realized he lost his phone and was panicked to find it. He tried calling his phone and the cab company he used to get to the bar. He wanted to go home to check if he lost it there. I told him I was ready to leave, and we could go back to our apartments so he could find it. But, only after we got pizza. He agreed. We grabbed a few slices and hopped in a cab back to our apts. The cab dropped him off and he ran in, yelling back, “I’ll be over in a few minutes.”
I took his slices, my friend’s and mine, and we went into my apartment. Quite some time passed, and I realized N wasn’t coming over. I chalked it up to one of those nights, got my friend settled on the couch, and went to bed. Alone.Follow @onegayatatime
The Friday following my business trip to Memphis, my special neighbor, who we’ll call N from here on out, came over. I was pretty beat from my trip, and he had a hard day at work. We decided against going out for the night and settled on Mediterranean on the couch. We ordered food and snuggled up for a movie. For me, there’s nothing better than having someone to come home to after a stressful business trip. I also finally figured out my roommate situation (or so I thought), so that stress was lifting. One of my good friends from Long Island was taking one room, while North Carolina was laying claim to the other.
We noticed It’s Complicated was on TV. I told him it was a very good movie, and he hadn’t seen it, so we watched it. I was happy we picked a more romantic movie for our night in on the couch. I just wanted to snuggle up to my big man and feel at home. We both enjoyed the movie immensely.
When the movie was over, we went into the bedroom to have sex. It was a very good night, and we finally dozed off late in the night.
The next morning, we were going to the beach with my sister. When she came to pick us up, N was running late. She started to get p*ssed, and made the comment to me, “Do you even know this guy? I don’t exactly like bringing strangers with me to the beach in my car.”
I flipped out on her and asked her why should would make such a malicious comment. “I don’t like the implications you’re making right now, and I suggest you back off!”
N finally arrived, and I introduced him to my sister. We had a nice ride out to Long Beach, Long Island with nice conversation. When we arrived at the beach, N got a little more affectionate with me. He was feeling comfortable in public, probably since he didn’t know anyone. We put suntan lotion on each other’s backs, and as we laid on the blanket next to each other, he periodically put his arm around me. When I was in his stage of being comfortable with myself, I was not that ready for PDA. I was impressed with how fast he was evolving and finding his comfort zone.
The time came to head back home to avoid serious traffic. We packed up and made our way back to the city, all the while my hand was in reached into the back seat stroking his leg, and then finally making it’s way to his crotch. He rather enjoyed it, and I think the possibility of my sister noticing made it all the more exciting for him.
When we got back, we both went to our separate apartments to shower. We were going out for dinner that night. He was excited we were going on a “real” date. There is a restaurant I have been dying to hit up for a date since before I was dating Broadway. I was never able to take him there, so N and I went to Dino and Harry’s. We both enjoyed our meals a great deal. We shared desert after seeing others immensely enjoying theirs, as did we. We also watched as a couple was on a date. The man abandoned the woman to go over to the piano to join in the karaoke. We both talked about how much of an as$hole he was, and I became more attracted to N’s personality. It was a very special date for me.
A few of my friends he had yet to meet were at City Bistro that night. Since it was only 2 blocks away, I suggested we go there for a few after dinner drinks. He met them all, and they all loved him. He was giving some of the girls dating advice and really stood on his own two feet with them. This is very big for me. My friends are very important to me, so I thoroughly enjoy when the man I’m dating fits in the mix.
After a while, we were both exhausted, and we decided to go home. As usual, we ended up in my bed. With N, the sex wasn’t always perfect. Sometimes the condom caused a problem. Sometimes things were awkward. But not being perfect doesn’t mean it wasn’t great. We were both finding our sexuality and learning about each other. We were exploring new things and finding out what made the other tick. I really like that we were going through the process together. I think too many people, especially gay men, feel sex is going to be like it is in a porno flick. It’s not. Even the best sex is not like sex in porn. There are emotions tied into it, whether you acknowledge it or not.
Finally we dozed off. I laid there with a smile on my face. I had only known this man for a short period of time, but we were fully immersing in each other’s lives, and I was starting to have very strong feelings towards him.
This created a whole new dilemma. My blog is about dating. If this guy became my boyfriend, would I tell him about the blog? Will he read it and want nothing to do with me? Will he insist I don’t write about him? Or will he be totally cool with it and excited about? This was something I was going to have to figure out soon. I’m very honest in my relationships, sometimes to a fault. This was certainly something I was going to have to come clean about. Only time would tell the ramifications of the timing of that discussion.Follow @onegayatatime
The night after my spectacular date with my neighbor, I wanted more. He was everything I was looking for in a man, and we were in such similar periods on the gay timeline.
I texted him to see what his plans were for the night. He was attending a birthday party in nearby Jersey City with a bunch of friends and roommates (only one of which knew at the time he was gay). I suggested maybe we could meet up later in the night and would be in touch.
I decided to go to City Bistro with a few friends that night. I had a really good time, but the whole time I really wished he was there. I told my friends all about him and how great he is. They knew all about my dating track record, especially since so many of them are readers. They were all happy I finally found someone datable again.
Finally, late in the night, he texted me. His friends were being lame, and he wanted to leave. He asked where I was and said he would come meet me.
After some time passed, he asked how long I planned to stay where I was. He was thinking about just going straight home to wait for me to come home so he could come over. The night was getting old for me as well, and the thought of a man in my bed for the night was very enticing. I told him I was on my way home as well. He said he would head to my apartment and wait for me to arrive.
While walking home, he asked if I would mind picking up his keys from the bar he left them at the night before. I stopped in, and they gave them to me. As I approached my apartment, I saw him sitting on the steps next to my building facing away from me. I tucked his keys into the waistband of my jeans against the small of my back. He’d have to find them on his own. I startled him when I put my finger down the back of his jeans to get his attention when I arrived. “Jeez! I thought a dog or some other small animal was licking me! Do you have my keys?”
Of course I lied and said no. We entered my apartment and he began to search for his keys. When he failed, we embraced and started making out. I moved his hands down to my back so he would discover his keys. He pulled back and gave me such a look, but then smiled and said, “That was a really good move! I like it!”
We went into my bedroom and rolled around the bed together until we both passed out for the night.
Two nights in a row he slept in my bed. It seemed he was into me as much as I was into him. I was very happy. Very happy, until I realized I may have just been booty called…