Posts Tagged texting
iPhone Debacle
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on July 14, 2011
The day after my spectacular night and romantic dinner date with N, I was heading home to Pennsylvania for my cousin’s graduation party. It was father’s day weekend, and I hadn’t been home in a month or so, so my sister and I visited until Saturday evening.
Days before I left, N came over and had a serious conversation with me. He told me his roommate was having a birthday party and wanted to invite my friends and I, but this was something we needed to discuss. I could see how uncomfortable he was, but I could also see he really wanted me to come. He said so. But, since he wasn’t out to his roommates yet, he didn’t know how to handle having me there. Who would I be? Why was I there? How did I know Amanda? All questions that would have to be answered.
I looked him in the eye and cut him off at the pass. I said, “Hey. We don’t have to do this. I know you want me there, but if this makes you uncomfortable I get it. And, I’m sure Amanda will understand too. I was in the same position you are in a year ago. I know what you’re feeling. And, trust me. I will not put any pressure on you whatsoever. You have to do this on your own timeline when you feel comfortable. If that means me not coming to one party, I’m ok with that.” Immediately his eyes lit up. I could see how relieved he was. I told him to think about what he wants and let me know when he decided.
So, on my way back to Hoboken from PA, I was texting N to find out his decision. However, I wasn’t really getting a response. In the back of my mind, I knew it was a bad idea, and I shouldn’t go. Even if he told me he wanted me to come, I was probably going to tell him no for his benefit. He made the decision very easy when he didn’t respond. I decided to make other plans with other friends in town.
A friend of mine met a guy at the gym and found out he was gay. I’ve been waiting for this to happen. His immediate response to him was to send him my way. I had my first gay set-up. He told him I was gay and directed him to this blog. So, I hit him up to see if he wanted to join us at the bar. He obliged. This wasn’t to make N jealous or anything. I had a man. I didn’t need another. This guy seemed very nice, and I thought it polite to meet him and maybe make a new friend.
As I was about to walk out the door to go to the bar at 10:00 p.m., I received a text from N saying, “Ok. You can come over, but remember. Be discrete and we’re just friends.” I told him of my other plans and said maybe I would see him later that night.
I met the guy from the gym at the bar with my friends and we sat on the rooftop and chatted. I introduced him to everyone, and he began to tell me his story. He was in a 9 year relationship that didn’t make it for all the wrong reasons. My heart was breaking when he told me his story. I wanted to give him a big hug right there. He seemed a little broken, but I could tell it was helping him to tell his story. I told him about my ex-“boyfriend,” as well as N and how things were going between us.
Then, late in the night, N texted me telling me he was coming to the bar I was at with the birthday party. When he arrived, he came running over, very drunk, and kissed me on the forehead. I introduced him to the guy from the gym. We didn’t hang out much at the bar, mainly because he was there with a bunch of his friends who didn’t know he was gay. I was okay with it. Again, on his terms. On his schedule. No pressure.
At one point, N realized he lost his phone and was panicked to find it. He tried calling his phone and the cab company he used to get to the bar. He wanted to go home to check if he lost it there. I told him I was ready to leave, and we could go back to our apartments so he could find it. But, only after we got pizza. He agreed. We grabbed a few slices and hopped in a cab back to our apts. The cab dropped him off and he ran in, yelling back, “I’ll be over in a few minutes.”
I took his slices, my friend’s and mine, and we went into my apartment. Quite some time passed, and I realized N wasn’t coming over. I chalked it up to one of those nights, got my friend settled on the couch, and went to bed. Alone.
Follow @onegayatatimeRomantic Dinner for 2
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on July 13, 2011
There were many nights I cooked for N and I. I enjoy cooking so much because I enjoy eating so much. It was also nice to have someone to take care of again. Tonight was a different story.
N had offered to make me his famous eggplant parmesan. He told me every time he’s made it, his friends have raved about the results. I told him, “I’ll have to judge that for myself.” The night before, he said he would make it for me for dinner the following night.
We spoke earlier in the day about how to pull it off for him to make dinner at my apartment. I hadn’t been in the pool in weeks, and I finally had the opportunity to get back in, so I wanted to swim that night. I was trying to get back into summer shape, and who doesn’t want to look good for their man?
The plan was for me to hide my key somewhere outside my apartment, so, when he got home, he could just come over and start cooking right away.
This may have been a dream of mine – Coming home to a fully cooked meal made by the man I couldn’t stop thinking about all day long. Does it get any better than that? However, I was skeptical. In the back of my mind, I was expecting to arrive home to find he hadn’t even made it over to my apartment yet.
If he was already cooking, he was working hard. And, he deserved a small reward for his hard work. I got out of the pool a little early. I couldn’t take the excitement anymore. After I finished my pool workout, since I 
was the only one in the locker room, I decided to take a few shots of myself in my drag suit to text to him. I wanted him to know how much I appreciated what he was doing for me, and I also wanted to get his engine revving for what I was going to do with him for desert.
After I got dressed, I hopped on my motorcycle and sped home as fast as I could. I checked my phone as I was keying into my apartment building, and I had no responses from the texts I sent. Now, I was legitimately worried he wasn’t there yet (If I was smart, I would have looked to see if the keys had been taken from the hiding place). But much to my pleasure, he didn’t let me down. It was incredibly sexy walking in the door to see him hovering over the stove making us a meal. I was sooooo turned on.
After asking if I could help in any way and being politely turned down, I plopped myself down on the bar stool and watched him cook. It sure was a nice change to not have to play chef. At one point, my roommate came home. She immediately made a comment about how strange it was seeing me sitting on the stool instead of standing in front of the stove. I explained to her he was cooking us a romantic meal, and I wasn’t about to mess with a good thing when I had it. She got the hint and went into her room.
I went to the wine fridge and picked out one of my favorite bottles. This truly was a special occasion. When the meal was ready, I went into my room and grabbed a few candles to put on the table we were eating on. I thanked him with a big kiss and dug in. I never had eggplant parmesan before, but this was spectacular! He wasn’t kidding about how good it was, but now I was experiencing it in my mouth. If you can’t tell by now, I’m a foodie. He truly found the way to my heart. The first few bites were all followed up with a kiss. We ate and ate until we gorged ourselves. Luckily, we had leftovers. I would be able to relive the memory of this night a few more times.
Following dinner, he went into my room to use my facilities. I began to make us desert – a simple dish, but one I knew he loved. I sauteed sliced up fresh peaches in a pan with a splash of oil and a dash of Splenda. This was our way of making a slightly healthier desert. However, when I finished making desert, and he still hadn’t returned from my room, I assumed he passed out on my bed. He had a habit of passing out on me. I tip-toed down the hall to see, but he was still using the restroom. I heard a magazine page being flipped, and it all began to make sense.
When he finally emerged from the bathroom to find me on the couch with the rest of our wine and two bowls of peaches and whipped cream, he said, “Oh. I didn’t know you were making that for us tonight. I thought you were just making it to have around.” I told him he was dense, and we dug into our desert. This of course was followed up with some heavy petting and a lot of making out, until we moved things to the bedroom. That night, we both had a great time. I wanted to make sure I pleased him good! And he certainly reciprocated.
The night was simple, but spectacular. I had amazing food and an amazing man to share it with. What else could I ask for? And with that, I fell asleep with the biggest smile on my face.
On a side note, I just found this video yesterday. It’s an adorable take on gay marriage. Totally cute and brought tears to my eyes. Very relevant as NY just legalized gay marriage. Check it out.
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Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on July 12, 2011
That Sunday morning, once again, I woke N up on the couch. I made us some breakfast, and we watched some TV. The weather wasn’t exactly ideal, so even walking down to the pier for sun wasn’t a very valid option. After watching some TV and falling asleep on each other, I called friends to see what everyone was doing.
I needed to get a picture framed at A.C. Moore, and my female friend needed to pick up a grill. I asked her if she would mind driving me to drop off the picture, and she obliged. N had nothing to do all day, so he agreed to tag along, which made me very happy. All day long I sent him dirty text messages right under my friend’s nose. We were having a good time sexting. It passed the time while we were grill shopping.
We dropped off my picture to be framed and made our way to Lowes. N was very instrumental in this since he grew up in the area. He took us on shortcuts I never knew existed. Which, if you’ve ever driven in New Jersey, you know they can be a Godsend! He was also instrumental in loading the grill into the back of the car and into her backyard through her apartment building since she bought one preassembled.
Like the two strapping men we were, we carried it to the backyard for her and set up the propane tank. N was by my side helping out someone he knew for a week. It was sweet. I was turned on. Of course, that night, we both made sure the other went to bed with a smile on his face.
Two nights later, we attempted to go to yoga together, but the rain washed away those plans. We weren’t going to let it ruin our night. N went to the gym instead, and I went home and relaxed until he was finished. We decided to take advantage of free movie Tuesday in Hoboken to see Super 8. We arrived at the theater and got our seats. Once again, there would be no hand holding or anything in such a crowded theater, especially since we were sitting near the front in plain view of almost everyone in the theater. I didn’t need the PDA. We were going strong, and I was able to sit through a movie without signs of affection. I shared my popcorn with him and he shared his powerbar with me.
On the walk home, we talked about how much we enjoyed the movie and our favorite parts. When we arrived home, we fooled around before falling asleep. This had become a trend. We weren’t having “sex” every night, but we always made sure we were both satisfied before falling asleep. Things weren’t perfect either. Sometimes it took a long time to finish. I was finding it harder to concentrate, and found myself filing through my “spank bank” in order to get myself over that final hump. And, I can’t speak for him, but it appeared to be the same.
I realized we didn’t have amazing sexual chemistry, but it was certainly something I was willing to work on, especially if it meant I would get to hold on to a guy like N.
The next night, N had to work late and didn’t have time to go to the gym. I was itching to go for a run, so I texted him and asked if he wanted to join. He agreed and we went for a nice sweaty jog along the waterfront. When people would pass by, and I had to drop back, I made the joke, “I will never get tired of this view… And the city’s pretty too,” as I stared at his ass.
Shortly into the run, he wasn’t feeling well, so we had to walk. We ended up walking another mile and a half just talking the whole time. I would have preferred to be getting a workout in, but I was enjoying the conversation.
When we got home, it was obvious we both needed a shower, so we conserved water. I got him nice and horny, and we had a really hot time in the shower. However, we didn’t really conserve any water because we spent so much more time in there fooling. So much so, we ran out of hot water. That night, he had, or so he said, one of the best orgasms he’s ever had before. It certainly was one of the most powerful I’d ever witnessed. I knew my man was going to bed a happy man that night.
Our relationship was growing stronger every minute. We had our issues in the bedroom, but they were ever so slight and a part of any new relationship. We were still exploring each other’s bodies and hearts, and I certainly wasn’t done exploring…
Follow @onegayatatimeDrunk Introductions
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on July 7, 2011
That Friday night, N went to his friend’s birthday party at a bar in Hoboken. I was pretty beat, so I decided to stay in for the night. I had 2 Netflix waiting to be watched.
At this point, N is only out to 3 women in his life. His mother, his roommate and a friend in Florida. He was going to the party with many of his college friends, none of which knew of his penchant for men. Earlier that day, we discussed our plans for the night, and N mentioned I could pop by the party unannounced. He wanted to see me, but no one knew about us, so we’d have to be discreet and “just friends.” They were going to a bar that I have frequented a lot. I could have easily gathered a few people and gone, but I knew better.
First off, I had no desire to go out. Secondly, I knew he wasn’t really ready for that step yet, even though he was half extending the invitation. We would be trying to hide it so much it would be obvious. Instead, I stayed in, receiving picture messages of him in the mirror of the bathroom.
I made dinner and plopped down on the couch in a pair of gym shorts; a perfect night if you ask me. One of the movies I had from Netflix was Amistad. I had never seen it and remembered it getting a lot of hype when it came out. Half way through it, I realized it was not a movie for a Friday night. I had no idea it was so heavy. It was almost as bad as watching Schindler’s List.
Late that night, around 1:00 in the morning, I got a call from N. He told me he had someone who wanted to meet me, and asked if he could bring her over. I assumed it was his roommate. He had spoken about her many times and told me how badly she wanted to meet me. When I finally buzzed them in, much to my surprise, it was not his roommate at all.
N was very drunk. He had a stain down the front of his shirt and was slurring his words. He introduced me to his friend and went on to tell me he told her he is gay that night at the bar. Apparently she didn’t take it very well, but was consoled by his roommate who also knew. But after that, she was dying to meet me.
This gave me warm fuzzies. He was so excited about us, he couldn’t wait to tell someone and was now bringing her home to show me off. It was a big night for him. He took a big step forward as a gay man, but we also took a step forward as a couple.
Shortly thereafter, his friend left so we could do our thing and go to bed. N was so drunk, he slid down the back of one of my living room chairs and broke the leg off. I picked him up and we moved to the couch to snuggle. It was nice having him there that night. I was very happy to see him. We watched TV for a short period before he fell asleep on me. I tried to wake him, but no matter what I did, he just lay there. I even gently slapped him across the face, but no movement, just grumbles. He is too big of a man to when he’s dead weight to carry, so there was nothing I could do besides leave him sleeping on the couch. I managed to lift his legs up onto the couch so he would be comfortable, and I went to bed.
In the morning, I woke and came out to the living room to find him still sleeping. I began to make breakfast, and shortly after he woke up. He told me at one point he woke up on the floor pinned between the couch and the coffee table. I told him that’s what he gets for not coming to bed with me.
We sat and ate breakfast and rehashed the night before. He didn’t remember a lot of the things I told him, so it made for an interesting conversation.
I was really starting to enjoy this new groove we were getting into. When I was with Broadway, I barely saw him. It was usually only to sleep together. With N, I was really starting to build a relationship with a strong foundation.
Follow @onegayatatimeAthletic Supporter
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on July 6, 2011
Every Thursday I play in a coed volleyball team. This particular Thursday, I had to possibly play 6 games. We were in the semifinals, and if we won, we would continue onto the finals. After the game, my team all decided, no matter the outcome, we would go to the bar that sponsors our team, McSwiggans, for a post-game drink.
I spoke with N earlier in the day about my plans for the evening. He was very supportive. I was kinda taken back by it. Throughout the day I got motivational text messages. I felt like he was truly invested in my life and my happiness. I have NEVER had that before. It was a nice change from the men I’d been with, and it made him all the more attractive to me.
I went to my games and had an awful time. One of my teammates did not want to be there, and we lost the first round as a result. Regardless, we were heading to the bar. I texted N to let him know we finished early and told him the results. He sent me messages to console me. I told him that I played well, and there was nothing I could do to change it. I was over it. He responded, “Atta boy!!”
He originally planned to hit up the gym, but stayed home and drank by himself instead. So when I arrived home, he showered and came over while I showered and got ready to go to the bar. We both made road sodas to take with us to the bar for the walk. He asked me a lot about the game and my team dynamic, and then we talked about his night. When we arrived at the bar, I introduced him to my teammates. None of them know I am gay unless they’ve surmised it on their own. However, after that night, they could probably tell. We certainly not being obvious, but there was no denying the attraction between us. If you saw the way we were looking at each other, you knew. The drunker we got, the more obvious we were.
Regardless, I had a blast. It was the first time we’d gone out to the bar together and got drunk. He was dancing for the first time in front of me as well. He had always told me how good of a dancer he is, but I was finally seeing it live and in person. I was blown away to be honest. He really is a good dancer. I was ready to go home many times, and was certainly properly inebriated, but he continued to buy drinks for us. Finally, the closing time bell rang, and it was time for us to go.
We went home and rolled around in the bed until we passed out on each other. Yet another good night spent with my special neighbor.
Follow @onegayatatimeBon Voyage
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on June 29, 2011
Memorial Day was approaching quickly, and I had no plans. Anything I did at this point was going to be a staycation. I checked with my neighbor, and his plans were to go down to the shore for the holiday weekend. He left that Friday and came back the following Monday.
I was in the midst of trying to find new roommates and a new apartment. I scheduled multiple showings with my broker to see apartments that day, all the while trying to monitor craigslist to see if I got any hits for prospective roommates. Needless to say, I was stressed.
I really needed a distraction from my crumbling home life. My apartment is for sale and could be bought any second, and both my roommates were moving out. I felt all alone. I went for a long hard run since it was such a nice day. I figured I could at least put the nervous energy to good use. But when I finished my run, my anxiety returned.
That night I had a BBQ and invited a bunch of my friends over. One of my best friends since moving to Hoboken, her roommate, 2 other girls they brought into the group, and one of the girl’s male friends visiting from San Diego all came with wine in hand. My sister and one of my other good friends, K, also joined the party with ample supplies.
The BBQ was nice and got my mind off things for a time, but it was still in the back of my head. I posted to facebook my unhappy status, “Feeling very alone right now.” North Carolina read this and immediately texted me.
“Feeling pretty down? What’s wrong? I’m feeling pretty alone myself right now…”
We exchanged texts. He was missing the man he met while on vacation in Florida. I explained my roommate situation. He jokingly said that he’d move in, but wouldn’t be able to until July 1. He explained that his gay roommate was making very inappropriate passes at him, and it was making him very uncomfortable. He sent me some of the messages, and my jaw nearly hit the floor. I called his bluff and told him to move in. This wouldn’t be the first time he was slated to move in.
We talked back-n-forth for some time, and I convinced him to come out to the apartment for a BBQ the following night. I invited my sister, K, D, and his girlfriend L as well. We had another great time with food and wine all night. After we ate, my sister, K, and NC all went out to the bars. We bounced from dead spot to dead spot, the whole time bonding with NC.
We talked about Grindr and our hookups and the guys we were pursuing. We talked about winging for each other and how great it would be to live together. We also chatted about the status of my relationship with my neighbor, a coworker and previous hookup of his. At the time, they were not getting along. Both of them thought they were better than the other, and their egos were getting the better of them. NC told me I was a gook-looking guy, and I could do much better than him. He told me about the night they hooked up, which I would later find was contradictory to the other party’s recollection of the night. However, I was really happy with where the situation was headed, but I wouldn’t relax until he signed a check.
He ended up spending the night in my roommates room. When I got him settled in, and went to my room, I noticed he never closed the door. He is a very attractive man, and I definitely had some sexual attraction to him, but he was going to be my roommate. I don’t sh*t where I eat. I wasn’t going to make a move. I laid in my bed wondering if I would hear a knock at my door. But none came, and I drifted off to sleep.
The next morning, he woke and had to be back home early. He borrowed a T-shirt, and we walked towards the PATH. I was meeting some of the girls from the first BBQ night. As we walked, he sounded 99% committed to moving in. He had to make sure he could get out of his current place first. As we went to say goodbye, I extended my hand for a handshake, but he pulled me in for a hug. It was a very nice gesture and was very appreciated.
Memorial Day was spent lounging on the pier in Hoboken trying to get some color. My neighbor and I had been texting most of the day, as he was on his way back from the shore. Before heading home, he came and met me at the pier. We sat and chatted a bit, and he talked with many of my friends.
That night he came over for dinner and spent the night. It was very nice getting to see him after being away. We had a nice time both in bed and out.
That Wednesday I was slated to go to Memphis for an important business trip. After him being away, I wanted to see him the night before my business trip. I knew I’d be gone for the next 2 days and would be stressed. I wanted to get some quality time in with him.
The next morning, I finished packing while he got ready for work. We said goodbye and decided we would talk later in the day. He was very supportive and sent me texts wishing me luck on my trip. This was really starting to feel like a strong relationship.
P.S. North Carolina would eventually not move in because he got a job with a consulting firm and moved back home to save money until he got placed on a project… Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me twice, shame on you!
Follow @onegayatatimeHigh Times
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on June 28, 2011
Sunday passed, and I hadn’t seen my new neighbor friend. This was a good thing however, because I didn’t want him to tire of seeing me already. Sometimes I can be a bit much, believe it or not (if you couldn’t already tell from my blog posts). So, a little time apart would hopefully help him realize I’m quite a catch.
Monday, however, was his birthday. Without knowing this, on Sunday I asked him if we could go out to dinner. His response was, “What? Like a date?”
I said, “Maybe. Call it what you want, but I was to see you again.” He informed me it was his birthday, and he would most likely be going out to dinner with his roommates. I was very disappointed, but I wasn’t unreasonable. He met me twice before that. I doubt I was birthday worthy yet.
There was a glimmer of hope, however — a silver lining. He said if it wasn’t too late, he would stop by afterwards. I didn’t want to get my hopes up. Chances were they would make it a late night celebrating.
When I got a text message telling me he was coming by, I was delighted. He followed it up by asking if I smoke. I informed him of my recreational habit since my college days, so he said he would bring over supplies.
I was thrilled when he arrived. I threw my arms around him and give him a big ol’ birthday kiss. We sat on the couch, him in my arms, telling me about dinner and the one roommate who failed to attend due to lack of interest.
I noticed earlier in the day his Grindr status mentioned his birthday. I joked with him then that he was going to get a ton of b.j. offers, as I did a few weeks earlier on my birthday. I asked him if it produced any results since. He responded, with a look of defeat, “Nope. Not a single offer.” I felt guilty like I delivered a blow to his self-esteem, so at that point, I mad an offer. I insisted he would get the best b.j. of his life.
We went out on my balcony and smoked. We relaxed next to each other on my outdoor loveseat. We talked about life and other random things I can’t quite remember. When we were ready to go back inside, I scooped us a bowl of peanut butter ripple ice cream to share. By the time we were scraping the bottom of the bowl life ravenous animals, my hand was in his crotch getting him excited for his birthday present.
We moved things to the bedroom. I wanted to make sure he had a happy ending to his birthday. And he did… At least from the noises and sounds coming out of his mouth. This was shaping up to be a beautiful friendship…
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Booty Call?
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on June 27, 2011
The night after my spectacular date with my neighbor, I wanted more. He was everything I was looking for in a man, and we were in such similar periods on the gay timeline.
I texted him to see what his plans were for the night. He was attending a birthday party in nearby Jersey City with a bunch of friends and roommates (only one of which knew at the time he was gay). I suggested maybe we could meet up later in the night and would be in touch.
I decided to go to City Bistro with a few friends that night. I had a really good time, but the whole time I really wished he was there. I told my friends all about him and how great he is. They knew all about my dating track record, especially since so many of them are readers. They were all happy I finally found someone datable again.
Finally, late in the night, he texted me. His friends were being lame, and he wanted to leave. He asked where I was and said he would come meet me.
After some time passed, he asked how long I planned to stay where I was. He was thinking about just going straight home to wait for me to come home so he could come over. The night was getting old for me as well, and the thought of a man in my bed for the night was very enticing. I told him I was on my way home as well. He said he would head to my apartment and wait for me to arrive.
While walking home, he asked if I would mind picking up his keys from the bar he left them at the night before. I stopped in, and they gave them to me. As I approached my apartment, I saw him sitting on the steps next to my building facing away from me. I tucked his keys into the waistband of my jeans against the small of my back. He’d have to find them on his own. I startled him when I put my finger down the back of his jeans to get his attention when I arrived. “Jeez! I thought a dog or some other small animal was licking me! Do you have my keys?”
Of course I lied and said no. We entered my apartment and he began to search for his keys. When he failed, we embraced and started making out. I moved his hands down to my back so he would discover his keys. He pulled back and gave me such a look, but then smiled and said, “That was a really good move! I like it!”
We went into my bedroom and rolled around the bed together until we both passed out for the night.
Two nights in a row he slept in my bed. It seemed he was into me as much as I was into him. I was very happy. Very happy, until I realized I may have just been booty called…
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Sick Day Training Session
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on June 23, 2011
Every once in a while, work gets the best of us, and it becomes necessary to take a mental health day. My friends can all attest, I take my fair share of these.
One specific mental health day, I woke up feeling particularly horny. The idea of having the apartment all to myself all day long sent my mind spinning. From my bed, I pulled up Grindr and began messaging all the hot men on there.
One in particular had a gorgeous body. I messaged him and asked him for a face picture. He obliged, and we began to chat back-n-forth. He was absolutely stunning. He also sent along numerous other pictures that drove me wild!
I told him I had the place to myself, and he needed to get his ass over to my apartment. It took a lot of convincing, only because he had a full day planned for himself. He didn’t exactly live nearby and had no means of personal transportation either. On top of that, he is also a personal trainer and had an interview and training sessions later in the day. I convinced him to come by for a romp over his lunch break, and I told him I would cook lunch for us both. His only request was I also supply wine.
At 1:00, he arrived at my door. He was incredibly sexy and wearing workout gear. We sat and chatted a bit over a bottle of wine. He is from the Dominican Republic and had a thick accent, which I found adorable and sexy all in one. He was still learning English, but he had an impressive grasp on the language.
After some chatting and wine, he walked over to me, grabbed me by the waste, pulled me in and planted a big kiss on me. We moved things to the bedroom where it really started heating up. He took his clothes off and I laid on the bed admiring the god that stood before me. His body was incredible — ripped and tight. I told him how impressive his body was, and it was then I learned he was also a model [See picture at right… Yea… That’s him… No joke!].
He hopped into bed, and I went at him like a fat kid deprived of cake. I explored every inch of his body. It was spectacular. We had sex for about an hour. It takes me a while to finish most times, but he was begging for it. I was surprised how passionate and open he was the entire time. He was constantly concerned with my pleasure. By the time we were done, we were both dripping with sweat. It was the best sex of my life! The passion we both brought into the bed was intense.
He hopped into the shower while I checked on our lunch on the grill. When he was finished, I hopped in. Finally, we sat and ate lunch on my kitchen counter. He told me all about his situation and how he came to live in America. He was unemployed but also the hungriest person I’ve ever seen looking for a job. He was working do hard, just to find work.
When we finished, we talked about meeting again sometime. He continuously commented on how my passion was such a turn-on for him. I saw the same passion in him as well.
When he left, I gave him a long kiss goodbye. We’ve continued to text each other, but haven’t found the time to be together again. At one point, he was dancing (go-go style) at the only gay bar in my city. I tried to make an appearance but had to work late that night. It’s also been hard to meet again because he went to LA for three weeks for a special trainer certification. I think of him often. I daydream of the day I get to experience that hot body once again…
Follow @onegayatatimeWandering Eyes
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on June 21, 2011
Now that I have a fair amount of dates under my belt, I feel comfortable meeting more men without much prescreening. Normally, I try to qualify them by talking a fair amount before meeting in person. Now, it’s worth it to save this conversation for a first date.
I came across a very attractive 25 y.o. on adam4adam.com. His profile was far from substantial. Play safe only. HIV neg and STD free — looking for same. His name also had nsa (no strings attached) in it. This is not the arrangement I seek out, but at this point, I was having fun and not asking too many questions.
We exchanged a few messages over a decent time span. The conversation actually died to the point I messaged, “Hey there. Haven’t heard from you for some time. If I’m barking up the wrong tree, let me know.”
He responded with continued interest, and shortly after, I said, “I hope I’m not being too forward, but I’d love to meet up for a drink sometime. Toss me your number if you’re interested.” I got his number and set a date. We agreed to pick a location the following day as the workday was ending.
I texted him the day of the date to make sure we were still on. Nearly an hour passed. Just when I had about given up on him as yet another flake, he responded. He told me to meet him at 7:00. I purposely left my office late to arrive fashionably late. That would have gone well, except he showed up for the date a half hour late.
I waited for him at a high top in the dive bar he chose, Whiskey River. When he arrived, he apologized for being late and grabbed a beer at the bar. The conversation started slow, but picked up quickly once we got comfortable. I asked him why he agreed to go on a date with me. He said, “Because you asked me out for a drink. It was a nice change from all the guys looking for hookups.” When I asked him what he did, he told me he was unemployed and unleashed a story like I’ve never heard before.
He was born in Israel. After he served his military term for one year, he decided he wanted to explore the U.S. for 6 months. He left behind a boyfriend of about a year (a very complicated relationship). He ended up staying in NY working as a waiter. When a woman heavily flirted with him, he informed her he was gay. She introduced him to her other gay friend, and they all became close. So close, he and the woman married (took me a few minutes to realize for immigration purposes). This woman had fallen in love with him, but he realized this too late. They had a big falling out, and he moved out on his own.
That’s when he met a new man. They were dating for about a month when this man decided to take him to his Connecticut house. My date was expecting to be visiting a cottage, when in reality it was a mansion. This man was a millionaire 10 years his senior.
The whole time my date was telling me this story, he looked past me. His eye contact was unnerving. He periodically glanced back to me, but spent a majority of the date looking elsewhere.
So Wandering Eyes went on to tell me this man asked him to move to California with him for the winter. This was his typical schedule, and he wanted Wandering Eyes to come. W.E. left his job managing a hotel and his friends and moved to California.
He lived the life of a kept man. They even discussed marriage. He drove a Porsche, wore Armani suits, was waited on hand and foot by servants and went to galas, award shows and benefits, all the while not working. The millionaire was also very possessive over him. He read his emails and checked his phone periodically. W.E. had nothing to hide, so he allowed this behavior. He started to get bored with his new lifestyle and missed his NY friends,. He decided to plan a trip back east for a week.
Upon his return, the millionaire was acting very different and suspicious. When the opportunity for W.E. to read through the millionaire’s emails arose, he jumped on it. He discovered that while he was in NY, the millionaire had an affair with another man and even took pictures of the two of them in the bed he shared with W.E.
W.E. decided he wanted nothing to do with this situation moved back to New York. The millionaire did everything in his power to get him to stay, even asking for them both to have action on the side, and they would just stay together. No dice. W.E. was gone.
In the meantime, the woman he married was interested in marrying a new man and filed for divorce. W.E. came back to New York jobless, divorced, newly single and homeless (the millionaire allowed him to live in his Manhattan apt until he got back on his feet). I wanted to walk around the table and give him the biggest hug. My heart bled for him.
I learned so much about him from that story. His character ran deep. His friends told him he was crazy for giving up the lifestyle he had, but he was still able to recognize his own unhappiness and moved on.
We chatted for about 3 hours before we walked to a Starbucks for a coffee. There we talked about movies and one of his interests, comic book heroes. We discussed our favorites and why.
The time came for me to go home, so I walked him to his subway stop. He had the most beautiful eyes and lips. I had been staring at them all night. A majority of the night, all I could think about was how much I wanted to kiss them. However, when the time came, I lost my nerve. I hoped he would make a move, but he didn’t. We hugged goodbye and talked about a second date.
On my way home, I texted, “Hey. Prob supposed to wait til tomorrow to msg you, but not my style… Really enjoyed meeting you tonight. Can tell deep down you’re a really great guy… And you’re even hotter in person… I’d really love to see you again some time if you feel the same… P.S. I’m really awkward with goodbyes… Sorry… Felt like such a sh*t when I walked away…”
He responded, “No worries. I probably would’ve kissed you if you didn’t walk away… So maybe it’s not a bad thing that you did…”
This is very confusing. How would it be a good things I walked away without a kiss? “Of course it’s a bad thing! Wanted nothing more than for you to kiss me ;),” was my response.
His next text was much more reassuring; “Well… Guess we’ll know better next time.”
I told him I was happy to hear there would be a next time. Sadly, there never would be. We tried, but plans never seemed to work out. Things fizzled out, and we haven’t been in touch since…
Follow @onegayatatimeAt the ripe age of 26, I came to a life changing conclusion. I'm GAY!
It took me 26 years to realize this and come to terms with it, but coming out's been the best decision of my life.
This blog is about my dating life in NYC and what happens next...
One Gay at a Time 