Posts Tagged Starbucks

Only the Beginning

Friday afternoon, I had a pitch in the New Jersey suburbs. When the meeting finished, I hopped in my car service home. It would be nice to get home earlier than a normal workday after many late nights at work that week.

Smiles and I made plans to spent the night together. Since I finished early, I took the opportunity to call Smiles and ask him to come over. He wasn’t busy, so he began to get ready and make his way to Hoboken.

When I got back, I wanted to do a few things. I wanted to make a quick run to the grocery store to grab some food to make for dinner, but I also wanted to get a haircut. I was in desperate need of one. I didn’t have time to do both, so I decided to choose the haircut.

I hopped on the motorcycle and hit up my usual spot to get my ears lowered. Of course, I had less time than I originally expected. He began calling the second I sat in the chair. I texted him and asked him to hang out at Starbucks until I could make it down to meet him.

All the while he was waiting for me at Starbucks, I was getting the worst haircut of my life. She completely removed my sideburns. I was not a happy camper, but there was nothing I could do about it.

I quickly paid, hopped on the motorcycle, and made my way down to meet Smiles. He was sitting in a comfortable chair sipping his coffee when I arrived. I hung out for a few minutes while he finished because it doesn’t exactly work out well taking a coffee on the back of the motorcycle. While we waited, I pointed out my new botched haircut. He didn’t sugar-coat it for me, and he told me what he thought.

When he finished, we hopped on the bike and went to my apartment. We walked in to find my roommate finally cleaning up his mess in the kitchen. We left him to his work, and we sat and watched TV until we decided what to do with our Friday evening. I introduced Smiles to my new favorite show, An American Horror Story. I was curious how he’d feel about it because he used to be a television producer.

I posed him a decision about food for the evening. I told him I no longer had the energy to cook dinner, so we could grab takeout/delivery, or we could go out for dinner. He suggested we go out for a nice dinner since he’d never really gone out in Hoboken much. I made a few suggestions and showed him them online. We decided on Dino & Harry’s, a great steakhouse I’d actually gone to with N when we were dating. We took a casual stroll up there around 7:30. I knew there would be a long wait since it was such a popular weekend dinner spot. When we arrived, Smiles spoke to the hostess and got an estimated wait for a table. It was 45 min. to an hour. We decided to check out a few other options. We weren’t thrilled with the other options, so we decided to head back to grab a drink at the bar while we waited.

We ordered the calamari appetizer and adult beverages while we talked. Before long, and after a little sweet-talking on Smiles’ part, we were offered a table. I could see in Smiles’ eyes, he was already feeling his drink. It was cute to see his tolerance in juxtaposition to my own high tolerance. I wasn’t turned off at all by it. In fact, I was enjoying it because he was being more playful than usual.

Throughout dinner we had great conversation. I was very happy. It was a very nice night together, and it was nice to be on my home turf for the first time in a while. We shared dessert and had our fill. This was one of the nights on the high end of the spectrum that seemed to make up for the nights on the lower end.

We paid our tab and made our way back to my apartment. The temperature dropped pretty drastically, so we walked as briskly as one can after consuming big steaks and desert.

When we got home, we hopped into my bed and cuddled while we talked for a while. I can’t remember what we talked about, but the conversation was very relaxed and casual. I finally felt he was comfortable with me and was opening up. This led to me removing his shirt and rolling him onto his stomach. I loved pleasing him, so I massaged his shoulders and back.

I wasn’t really in the mood for sex that night. We both had a fair amount to drink and it was a long day for me. I wasn’t going to push the sex issue since I wasn’t into it myself. I would attempt to jump his bones in the morning, the time I am usually at my horniest.

Instead, we both got ready for bed and dozed off. Tomorrow was a new day. Who knew what it would bring?…

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

6 Comments

A Lovely Morning

Saturday went by and I didn’t talk to Smiles all that much. I was disappointed about being rejected and was still wondering if it was my own issues preventing us from getting between the sheets.

I sent him dirty text messages (not me in the picture) when I woke up about what I wanted to do to him, and surprisingly, he was responding positively. I couldn’t understand why he would be playful over text, but when push came to shove, I got the cold shoulder.

I wasn’t going to give up on him over this. Sex is important, but it’s certainly not the end all and be all of a relationship for me.

He invited me to come into the city to grab brunch with him and a friend. We made plans to spend a majority of the day together. I was on a mission to seduce him once again. After my chat with Boston, I was ready to broach the subject if I was denied once again.

I decided to resort to one of my old tricks. I started watching porn to get myself excited and raring to go. I thought I could use the material if I got to a place of desperation.

And with that, I hopped on my motorcycle and rode into the city through the Holland Tunnel. I parked on the street and walked up the stairs to his apartment. I brought an extra helmet with me so I could throw Smiles on the back if we were traveling around the city.

He decided we should walk to brunch since it was such a nice day, and we weren’t in a rush. We stopped at Starbucks to grab coffees while we walked. As we made our way to the West Village, we popped into a few stores, from clothing to eyewear stores.

Our destination was a familiar one. Smiles’ friend was meeting us at Extra Virgin. I had no idea who this friend was, but Smiles told me I probably met him previously at his birthday gathering. The three of us arrived at the restaurant around the same time. We all sat at a table in the back corner. Indeed I had been introduced to the friend previously, but we only chatted briefly.

Ironically enough, I couldn’t tell which team this friend played for. It wasn’t until he asked advice about a woman I realized he was heterosexual. There was nothing flamboyant about him, so it was no reflection on him that I couldn’t tell. It was more of a guilt by association thing.

He was a really nice guy, and I was thrilled to be included in the conversation throughout brunch. I am good at diving right in, but when two people in a group of three have a strong long-standing friendship, the third can be marginalized at times. This was not the case. The friend was quite interested in what I do as he works in a similar field of communications.

When brunch was over, we said goodbye to the friend. Smiles and I were on the hunt for a branch of his bank make a deposit. In the meantime, we hit up a few stores and walked around most of SoHo. Smiles was scoping out every bakery we passed along the way. I could tell he wanted something to satiate his sweet tooth. I was egging him on as we walked, but he resisted.

Finally, we made our way back to his apartment. I had been getting calls and emails from work all day. It became necessary for me to go into the office. Luckily, I had the motorcycle in the city with me, so I could shoot up there quickly without issue.

Smiles had plans to meet a friend about a business proposal over coffee, so I told him I would give him a ride on my way to my office. He got changed while I waited, and we were off.

I always like having him on the bike behind me. He’s the first guy to truly embrace the situation. He always inches forward on the seat so he’s right up against me, and he tightly wraps his arms around me. I relish every minute of it. When we stop at a traffic light, I make it a point to rub his leg or grab his hand. I find it romantic ironically enough.

I had to spend about an hour at the office, but the second I was able to leave, I darted back downtown to Smiles’ apartment. He’d already been home from coffee, and I couldn’t wait to be with him again. He really did make me happy. I was also very horny. The porn from the morning worked to get my engine revving, and I was ready to get busy with him. I wanted him in the worst way — Traffic could not move fast enough…

After sitting in tunnel traffic near his apartment, I finally arrived. I rang the bell and climbed the stairs hoping to find a happy ending once I reached the top…

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

3 Comments

Waking Up Drunk

When I woke up in the morning, I had little recollection of the night before, even leaving the bar. I could only remember a flash of about ten seconds of sex, and I actually remembered enjoying it. It was a scary feeling.

As the morning progressed, I didn’t let on that I blacked out the night before. I was hoping Smiles would divulge enough details for me to start piecing things together. I had so much to drink, I was still drunk when I woke that morning.

He hopped out of bed and went into the bathroom. I took the opportunity to lean off the bed to retrieve my boxers and put them on.

I went to the bathroom and cleaned myself up as best I could. I tried to fix my hair, but it was no use. I made a comment to Smiles about this, and he noted it was because I showered the night before. I showered the night before? I did not remember that AT ALL!

I wanted nothing more than to brush my teeth. Of course, Smiles didn’t have an extra toothbrush. I squirted toothpaste on my finger and brushed my teeth Survivor style. This was turning out to be a pretty sh*tty morning. I asked Smiles if I could borrow a t-shirt instead of my button-down from the night before.

Smiles detailed what he wanted to do with his day. He had a lot of boxes in his apartment he wanted to get into storage. He was able to procure a storage unit across the street from his apartment. It was necessary to transport his belongings from a storage unit in Harlem. I volunteered to help him since I had no plans for the day and was looking forward to spending more time with him. I had no idea how big a mistake that would be.

We began our journey at Starbucks. He ordered his favorite “salty pretzel drink,” and I ordered a coffee, a brownie, and pound cake. I was starving. We quickly snagged a cab to stay on schedule and sped up the FDR Drive. The cab wasn’t able to drive all the way to the storage facility because the New York City Marathon route was between us and the facility. We arrived at the storage unit just before his appointment only to find that the storage shuttle he booked was unable to make it to the facility. The trek uptown was for not.

We walked to the nearest subway stop downtown, and hopped aboard. At this point, my hangover was kicking in hardcore. I was feeling very sick. With every subway stop, I climbed deeper and deeper into the misery hole. Smiles was trying to talk to me, and I was giving him “um hm’s.” When we were about three stops from getting off, I started to feel extremely nauseous. I was not going to vomit in front of Smiles and in front of everyone else on the subway. I was going to make it, even if I had to run to a trash can on the street. I used all my being to keep it down and not give it up. Smiles could see I was not doing well, and suggested we hit up a bodega for a bottle of water. The minute I entered the fresh air, I felt infinitely better, but I still wasn’t 100%. I downed a bottle of water and soldiered on.

We walked around a bit and did some window shopping before stopping to grab lunch at Lucky Strike. I ordered a sandwich, but I wasn’t able to eat it. Smiles was very sweet all day long trying to take care of me. He gave many suggestions for ailments, but many of them involved liquor. No matter how small the amount, the mere thought was triggering my gag reflex. I asked the bartender to box up my lunch so I could eat it later in the day when I was feeling better. He provided me with some relief by offering peppermint essential oil to rub on my temples and under my nose. Surprisingly, it worked quite well.

We walked back to Smiles’ apartment so I could gather my things to head home. It was clear I was no longer a human being. I was a mere shell of a man. I kissed Smiles goodbye and walked north to the Christopher Street PATH station.

I went home and curled up on the couch and watched TV while I contemplated my recent life choices. After about an hour I was able to eat my croque-monsieur, and it was delicious. Hopefully my day would end better than it started.

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

1 Comment

Birthday Lunch

The official day arrived. Smiles was turning 36. He celebrated his birthday in conjunction with two friends a week earlier, which didn’t go so well for me. I wanted to rectify that situation.

I also wanted to dote on my new man for his birthday. I called him early in the afternoon to wish him a happy birthday and ask if I could take him out to lunch. The Ace Hotel is near my office and has two great restaurants and a bar adjoining it. Normally I’d let him choose, but I couldn’t wander too far from work on my lunch break.

I met him not far from the hotel on the street corner. I greeted him with a big ol’ kiss and a hug to say happy birthday. As we walked, he made comments about how casual my work attire was. He was under the impression people in advertising walked around in Mad Men suits all day. I explained how far off base he actually was.

As we walked, he reached down for my hand. I love it when he does that! We arrived at the first restaurant he chose, and after checking out the menus at John Dory, we decided to leave and hit up the other, The Breslin. I’d been there many times and absolutely love their lamb burger. I knew he’d be happier with the choice as well.

When the waiter asked if we’d like anything to drink, I declined, but encouraged Smiles to order a drink. He requested a dark and stormy. Without looking at the menu, I immediately knew what I wanted, and ironically enough, we both ordered the lamb burger. I also added another dark and stormy to the tab after seeing how refreshing his looked. Afterall, I work in advertising… It’s only natural to have a cocktail lunch, right?

Somehow the topic of conversation turned to religion. My mother was just telling me about a book a majority of my staunchly Catholic family read, Heaven is Real. We discussed the book and how we were brought up with religion. We even got as deep as to discuss our beliefs in a higher being. This is usually a risky subject for discussion, but the conversation remained casual and flowed while we ate. I think it actually brewed a stronger connection between us.

When the check came, I insisted on paying. He was pulling out his credit card, but I forced the server to walk away with just mine. There was no way in hell I was letting the birthday boy pay. “It’s your birthday. I told you I wanted to take you out to lunch for your birthday!” I exclaimed. After saying, “That’s an expensive birthday lunch. You really don’t have to,” he thanked me.

When we finished, he decided he wanted to grab a coffee. Since I met him, he has become addicted to the Starbucks salted caramel latte, or as he likes to call it, “his salty pretzel drink,” which I find adorable! While we waited for our concoctions to be made, he took the opportunity to lean his back against my chest. For me, the little things matter a lot. Those signs of affection really speak volumes. We got our coffees and walked towards my office a bit before saying goodbye. He was out of his downtown comfort zone, so I relished guiding him around to find a subway back home.

We said goodbye with a gentle kiss. I put him on the subway and made my way back to the office. Of course, I had a smile from ear to ear as I walked. It was a short encounter, but I was happy to get to see him. It was his birthday lunch, but I think I got more out of it than he did.

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

2 Comments

A Night at the Opera

After what I deemed somewhat of a failure night, Smile‘s birthday gathering, I wasn’t exactly feeling positive (I’m told by some readers they were depressed after yesterday’s post as well). However, I wasn’t giving up or accepting defeat. I chalked it up to an off nights.

Ayawaska Root

For the rest of the week, I didn’t reach out to him. I wanted to see if he’d reach out to me. Surprisingly enough, Smiles texted Friday afternoon. Maybe my friends were right. Maybe I was right to lay low and let him come to me. I hadn’t sent a message or made a phone call since I left him Wednesday night. He wrote, “How’s your Friday going?” I told him it was going well and inquired about his cleanse. We texted a bit before I jumped on the opportunity to confirm our plans to go to the Metropolitan Opera that Saturday.

I wrote, “Looking forward to seeing you tom night btw! Call me when you get a free minute so we can discuss details before you go comatose on me…”

He immediately called to clarify. We discussed the timing of his Ayawaska ceremony and the timing of the opera.

I remembered from our conversation earlier in the week, tickets were to Barber Saville. I went online and did some research. I’d never been to the opera before, so I didn’t want to look like a schmuck. In doing my research, I realized his timing of the show was off. “Is this Il Barbiere di Siviglia at the Metropolitan Opera? If so, it looks like it’s at 1:00 tom…” I texted him.

I received a troubling response: “What. OMG! EEK! Let me look…” “Houston, we may have a problem!” I responded, “I gathered.”

He eventually called me back to offer a few possible solutions. He didn’t think he was going to be able to make the opera by 1:00 after being up all night, so the first was to give me the tickets, and I take someone else. The next was he gives the tickets to a friend if I don’t want them. I said, “Well obviously my first choice is to go with you. You don’t think you’re going to be able to make it?” He paused a moment, and responded, “Let me make a few phone calls to see how I’m going to be after this. Who knows? Maybe I’ll be wide awake and energized.” He hung up.

After about a half hour, he called back. He talked to someone who’d done it before, and they told him they weren’t sure how he’d feel afterwards, but it was quite possible he would be alert and want to go. They told him not to cancel his plans. So, our new plan was no plan. We were going to play it by ear.

That night around 8:00 I sent him a text saying, “Have fun tonight, and be safe ;).” I got a response at 4:16am. “Home safe. Should be good tomorrow. Home at 4am. Call you about 11.” It was a very happy text message to wake up to. I was thrilled. After thinking we wouldn’t get to go, I once again got excited about the date. No man has ever taken me to the opera before.

At 11:00, he called, and we discussed attire. We thought about grabbing brunch for a hot second until we realized we’d be late if we did. I came into the city, and we hopped on the subway up to Lincoln Center. We first grabbed the tickets, and then, instead of brunch, we settled on coffee at Starbucks.

We made our way back to the opera house and found our seats. We had great orchestra seats, but to get to them, this involved sneaking past a full row of elderly folks. As Smiles was passing one elderly fellow who didn’t stand for him to pass, the man got overly excited about someone passing in front of him and began to make a fuss asking Smiles to wait for him to stand. In the meantime, the elderly man began to have a coughing fit followed by apologizes for the next ten minutes. I was thrilled there was at least one seat between myself and this man. That is, until the show was about to begin, and he wanted a better view and scooted over – still coughing, still apologizing.

He wasn’t even there after a few minutes in my mind. I started to chat with Smiles. He was talking about a work project and the subject of his mother came up. Mid-story about her, he stopped and said, “Well, you’ll see if you ever get to meet her.” I was back on track! The fact that he was even entertaining the idea of me ever meeting his mother thrilled me! I was on cloud nine.

On top of that, he reached out his hand as the show began to hold mine. The birthday party night was well behind me. I now had a clear signal he was indeed interested in me. I could have melted into a puddle right there (it’s the little things for me obviously).

When intermission came, I had no idea everyone leaves the theater. We went outside and grabbed water at a nearby cafe. It was a gorgeous day, so we sat in the sun a minute commenting on all passersby. When it was time, we went back into the theater and watched the remainder of the opera. I was elated. It was a good show. I would definitely go back again, but it’s more of a once a year thing, whereas Broadway is a few times a year thing. But, that wasn’t even what was making me so happy. I had a permanent smile.

Afterwards, we decided to grab early dinner. We crossed the street to hit up a sushi restaurant, only to find it closed. We settled on Cafe Fiorello’s next door. When the waitress approached, Smiles asked her what her name is and began chatting her up. This is something I noticed he does everywhere we go. I find it very attractive. However, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say he was flirting with her (he did used to date women as well). She was eating it up. Neither was a bad thing. I wasn’t off-put at all.

We shared a nice half bottle of white wine and ordered our food. When the waitress returned to tell me they no longer had any lamb in the restaurant, I ordered my second choice. Smiles cut in and said, “You should inform the maître d’ we are outraged there is no lamb, and he should give us another half bottle of wine.” She replied, “Since you guys are so great, I’ll see what I can do.” After she left, I commented on how I was impressed by his effort.

When she came back to check on us, she said, “He said no to the bottle of wine, but I’m there’s something I can do for you instead.” He again thanked her with his charming smile. I said, “We’ll prob get a free desert or something.” He noted, “Oh, we’ll get something. You’ll learn I don’t give up. This is fun for me.”

Shortly thereafter, she returned with two glasses of champagne for us. I was duly impressed. He was a smooth talker. He really worked his magic. With that, we cheers to actually making it to the opera.

We were our waitress’ last table, so we closed our check so she could cut out. “You guys are my favorite table of the day. I love you guys!” she exclaimed. Although he argued against it, I picked up the tab since he provided the opera tickets. As I forced my card into the waitresses hand and told her to scram before he could get his out, he appreciated the gesture. As we were finishing our champagne, Smiles pulled out his phone and was looking for something. I asked him what he was trying to find. He noted there was a store in the neighborhood he wanted to stop in. I asked which because I was decently familiar with the neighborhood. He wouldn’t tell me. It was a big secret. I love surprises, so I didn’t push the issue.

We began to walk up the street. I had no idea what was coming next or where we were headed since he was being secretive, but I had a feeling I was going to like it. But, that’s another post for another day…

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

4 Comments

Sexy Eyes

After seeing Sexy Eyes on the street with my roommate, I decided to make him a priority. He not only impressed me, but also my roommate. She wanted to date him . He was charming and funny and had a smile and sexy green eyes that gave me butterflies.

On my way home that night, I began texting immediately. He was all but begging me to stay in the city that night with him, but I insisted I would not let my roommate walk home alone at that hour of the night. He heavily respected my decision, but also attempted to persuade me to come back on another bus after I walked her home.

Instead, I promised we would go out the following Friday. That still didn’t satiate him. He wanted to know why we couldn’t meet Thursday. I explained I had my volleyball league Thursday nights, so I would be unable to meet up. I figured he would understand being quite the volleyball player himself.

That of course was a lie. I scheduled a meeting with a guy from OKCupid. It was an interesting scenario. The guy reached out to me originally, but after chatting a bit, I came to learn he was seeing someone. He was just looking for friends. I didn’t buy it of course, but if that’s what he really wanted, I was game. I need gay friends. We scheduled happy hour drinks for Thursday evening after work.

On top of that, I scheduled another date with a guy I met on Grindr a week prior. Between these two, there would be no time to meet Sexy Eyes.

When the OKCupid friend had to bail because of a follow-up job interview, I decided to see if Sexy Eyes was available for after work coffee. I figured we could sit and chat and get to know each other a little better.

He bit. He was extremely excited to see me. Immediately following work, I walked down to the Starbucks closest to his office. He works at a financial law firm and would not be finished for the evening. He was, however, able to step out for about an hour to chat.

The conversation was mainly dominated by him, but it was good nonetheless. We talked for about an hour before I told him I needed to head home for volleyball (my other date). Our date ended with a few smooches and a hug. I was really feeling this guy. We shared a lot in common, he was older and had a respectable job, he was very good looking, he was fun to be around… The list goes on. As I walked away, he texted me telling me he wanted to kiss me more, but didn’t want to make a scene near his office. He begged me to come back into the city after my “volleyball game.” I entertained the idea in my head, but I made no promises. Who knew how my next date would go?

I met the next guy at a bar near the Christopher Street PATH station, but that will have to be tomorrow’s blog entry, because as you may have suspected, I wasn’t quite done seeing Sexy Eyes that evening. After my second date, I went home, showered and changed, and hopped on a bus back to the city. Sexy Eyes was just finishing up his own volleyball workout as I was getting to Port Authority.

We agreed we’d go out somewhere, but made no plans. When I arrived at Port Authority, I called him to find out the plan. He told me he just got out of the shower and needed to finish getting ready. He gave me his address and told me to come to his apartment. We would make a decision where to go from there.

When I arrived, I told the doorman who I was there to see, and he let me up to the apartment. I was greeted at the door with a very nice kiss, and we chatted while he finished getting ready.

Somehow, we both ended up in his bedroom just as he finished getting ready. He sat on the bed in front of me, lifted my shirt and began kissing and licking my entire torso. It felt amazing.

Between kisses, he asked if I wanted to go out or just stay in. I didn’t need to verbally answer because I was already removing his shirt. I hadn’t had sex since Labor Day. I won’t say I was a big ball of horny, but he was a very attractive and seemed very interested in me and not just my body. I wanted him. Bad.

(Warning: The following may be graphic for some) Shortly after, he was undoing my belt and unzipping my pants. He was thrilled to learn I submitted to his request to wear briefs. I never wear them, but if a man requests it and thinks I look sexy in them, who am I to disagree? He then pulled down my briefs and opened his mouth and felt amazing. It had been a while since anyone did anything with my body besides my own two hands, so I was completely enjoying the moment.

Things got hotter, and we both ended up on the bed in numerous positions. Throughout the course of our time in bed, he started playfully biting me. I’m not gonna lie. It hurt! I went along with it because they were quick, and I have a high pain threshold. But, I wasn’t entirely into it. This was something that may have to be resolved down the road. At the peak of the passion, I was inside him, and we were both thoroughly enjoying ourselves. He finished during the act, and shortly after, I finished myself off. As per usual with the guys I’ve been with, he was impressed with my finale. Something I’ve learned to take pride in based on the reception it usually gets.

He beckoned me to come join him in the shower to clean up so we could snuggle in bed. After the shower, we laid in bed together and watched the late night news. It was getting very late, and I was constantly dozing off. After realizing this, he suggested we turn off the TV and go to bed. After all, we both had work in the morning, and he had to be up earlier than I did.

The next morning, we woke at the same time. He hopped in the shower while I read over emails from his bed. When he got out, I hopped in for my turn. He told me he would probably be gone by the time I got out. I was instructed to take my time and just pull the door shut behind me on my way out. I thanked him and kissed him goodbye.

That evening, it was affirmed for me the biting had gone too far. All day at work, my chest was sore where he bit me, and when I came home and got undressed, I looked like I was abused in certain spots.

That morning, I walked to work with a smile on my face. It was a good night, and I met a good man who seemed to be interested in me. Over the few months I’ve been out and single, I’ve learned my lesson not to count my chickens before they’ve hatched. Maybe I’ve become slightly jaded in the process, and this bothered me. But, this was something I needed to start doing so I wouldn’t get my hopes up and get hurt in the end.

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

5 Comments

Rude Can’t Begin to Describe

When I joined OKCupid, I had high hopes for the site. My ex, Broadway, told me to check it out. I had never heard of it before, but I was certainly willing to give it a shot.

When I joined, I made a profile and began poking around. I was very disappointed with the talent on the site. I found it very hard to find someone I wanted to send a message. I decided to take a passive role. As people viewed my profile and sent me messages,  I sorted through the interested men to see if there was mutual interest on my end.

One guy started messaging and seemed to be compatible with me. He wasn’t the best looking guy, but he certainly had something different going for him. I decided to give him a shot. We started chatting on OKCupid, and quickly moved the conversation to the phone. He texted periodically, but mostly, he called at night before going to bed. We sparred playfully quite a bit. Our exchanges were fun, but periodically, he would push the envelope too far, and I would simply shoot him down.

As time passed, I wondered why he continued to call. I learned he wrote a Broadway show to be released in the spring and was contacting some very big names to be the female lead. He was in line for a lot of success, but at the time, he was working out of his apartment and living a below average lifestyle. We talked a little about me and what I do, but we didn’t get much into hobbies and what we do for fun. He was being elusive on those details.

I enjoyed the phone calls and the attention, but every time I hung up the phone, I would say to myself, “Why is he still calling me?” There were a few things we had in common, but I didn’t feel I was really what he was looking for. It seemed he was looking for a guy who would roll over at the snap of his fingers. I certainly wasn’t filling that position. I was actually beginning to look at him as great practice to be more confident and demand more from a man who was interested in me. When the conversation switched to sex, we discovered we were both tops. Even with that knowledge, he took every opportunity to ask me for a picture of my a$shole. I adamantly declined to fulfill that request. I made myself perfectly clear that was not something he would be receiving from me.

When he didn’t drop the request in every phone conversation following, I got quite heated. I told him if that was all he was interested in, he was barking up the wrong tree. I wasn’t on OKCupid to find a guy to have sex with. I was looking for more substance. If that was all the substance he had, he needed to move on. I think he finally got it. But, I also think he thought he was just being playful, and I was overreacting.

It was also getting to the point where I needed to meet this guy. We talked for over a week, and I wasn’t going to invest any more time if he wasn’t worth it. He was already on the fence in my mind — 50/50. But, I was willing to give him a chance, even though the odds were not in his favor.

We planned to go out on Saturday for drinks and a bite to eat to celebrate the casting of his lead female. Over text and phone conversations Saturday morning, I told him I would head into the city and meet him at 6:30. When he responded at 5:15 requesting we do 6:00, I sprang into action to get ready. On the walk to the PATH, I texted and called constantly. He wasn’t responding. I wasn’t about to get on the PATH until I knew where I was going and where I should get off.

I stopped at Starbucks and ordered a latte. Luckily, I grabbed my coat before I left my apartment, because I would be sitting on a park bench outside the PATH station for the next 45 minutes. I continued to call, until finally, he picked up the phone. He shouted, “Geez! I’ll call you back! Give it a rest!”

I was so insulted. No man was going to speak to me that way and get away with it. I was already passing the time by talking to guys on Grindr, and one even went on to invite me out for a beer. I should have abandoned my original plans at that point and had the beer. The fact that he continuously pursued me boosted my ego so much it became the only thing keeping me to those plans. Sad, I know.

Instead of grabbing the beer with the guy on Grindr, I went to The Melting Pot, where my friend is a bartender. I figured I’d grab a glass of wine and give this as$hole a few minutes to get back to me about our plans for that evening. I was going to give him a second chance, but I wasn’t going to let him get away with talking to me like that.

When he finally called, he didn’t acknowledge the time passed since we planned to meet. He also didn’t acknowledge barking at me over the phone. I was very short with him and called him on it. He didn’t apologize. His response: “Well, you can either come buy me a glass of sangria to celebrate my casting, or you can go home and cry about it.” I was flabbergasted! He had some nerve! Now, I was going on this date out of spite. I was going to be spectacular and then shoot him down.

When I arrived, he stood to greet me with a hug. He commented on how attractive I am — better than my pictures — and how he would have put more effort in if he only knew. He was laying it on thick. I could tell he was very attracted to me. I thrived on it. With every word, he gave me more power. He was actually less attractive than his pictures. I wasn’t interested in the slightest, but that doesn’t mean I couldn’t use the date as target practice. I shot him down at every attempt. He made a few lewd comments, and I made my disgust apparent. When he made a cavalier comment about hitting the restrooms as a joke, I went off on him. I asked if that sort of thing normally worked for him. I pointed out how much of a negative effect it had on me. This guy was truly a creep. Ironically, I was having so much fun shooting down a guy who was pursuing me, when I should have been looking forward to the date’s end.

I found out he was late for the date because he was arguing with someone on the phone. He claimed he barked at me not knowing who it was and apologized. If he wasn’t rude enough, he spent 70% of the date texting on the phone. The argument wasn’t over. He didn’t even have the decency to give me his undivided attention.

When the date ended, we began to walk towards his apartment and the PATH train. When we reached a crossroad, he pulled me in for a close hug. Luckily, I didn’t have to kiss him, as he was recovering from a cold. That doesn’t mean he wasn’t trying to pull me closer than is comfortable. He started to make a comment about my being arouse, but I pointed out to him how much that wasn’t the case. I was blunt. “I could not be less aroused right now.” And, after a little more conversation, we parted ways.

I was shocked when he followed up with a text stating his desire to meet again. I responded, “That most likely will not be happening. We have very different priorities, and you were exceptionally rude.” He questioned how he was rude, and I decided it wasn’t even worth my time to recount the scenarios. He truly was an as$hole.

The best part of this was that I walked away unscathed. I actually had fun being blunt yet dignified. I wanted him to want me so badly, so when I shot him down, he’d realize what he was missing. I think I was successful considering the texts continued for some time…

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

2 Comments

Coffee Break

Just as I was whittling the roster down, I felt the need to continue to build it up. Out of all the candidates, I only found one worth revisiting, Pillow. After what started as a bad date, I was happy with how it ended.

I still needed other options and distractions. I have a problem of diving in head first when I find a guy I like. If I have a few distractions, the chances of me doing that are far less.

I started talking to a very attractive man. He was very responsive, and we got into a great conversation. He’s a 34 year-old trainer in Manhattan who lives in Hell’s Kitchen — All pluses in my book. I also noticed his distinctive tattoos and found them very attractive. Strangely enough, he reminds me a lot of the first guy I dated, Broadway. And, in another twist of irony, his gym was a block from Broadway’s apartment. I walked past it hundreds of times. He mentioned his workout regime and how intimidated most guys were by it. I said, “They’re just weak!” He replied, “Oh. I like you! And, you’re my just type!” We talked about meeting after we were comfortable with each other.

Earlier that day, my boss had a meeting with my department and told us he wanted us to meet a new hire at 2:30. This was right about the time I was talking to the trainer about meeting for coffee. I suggested we meet at Starbucks to say hi, but it would have to wait until I met the new guy. When 3:30 rolled around, and he was still in my boss’s office, I decided I wasn’t going to wait around any longer. It was pouring that day, so we picked a Starbucks half way between us. I grabbed my umbrella and made my way towards him after postponing coffee almost an hour and a half. When I arrived, it was a packed house. It was a small Starbucks to begin with, but everyone was trying to escape the rain, customer or not.

I managed to find him in the crowd. We chatted while waiting for our coffees. I liked him. I felt very relaxed around him. We talked about work, family, what we did for fun, vacation, travel, etc. He was going skydiving in a week, so we had an interesting conversation about that. I told him about all the traveling I’d done so far this year, and he told me about his trip to Fire Island that coming weekend.

The only snag in the whole conversation was age. He wasn’t thrilled I was only 27. “I find myself being attracted to younger men lately though,” he said. He kinda shrugged it off as if to say, “I’ll give you a chance.”

The time came when I needed to head back to the office. He was disappointed I had to cut it short, but I promised him we’d hang out when he got back from Fire Island. With that, I gave him a hug and said goodbye. He said he’d text later that evening. I was thrilled.

He seemed like a really great guy. On top of that, he was very masculine and very sexy. I was looking forward to seeing him again. I had two dates in a week’s time that ended in success! This may have made all the bad dates worth it. That evening, we texted each other. It was a fun and playful conversation — All progress towards a real date.

The next evening, when I was heading home earlier than expected (see Friday’s post), I called to see if he wanted to grab dinner. When he picked up the phone, he said, “Hey, I’m about to grab dinner with some friends.” Can I call you back later?” And, like a true man, he called me that night. We had a great conversation, and once again, we talked about a second date upon his return to Manhattan…

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

6 Comments

Excuse Me Mr. Officer

I left OCMD at 8:00am. My sister drove me back to Hoboken, and we made great time. I also managed to ramble off a few blog entries on the drive. So much for getting caught up while on vacation, but at least I was somewhat productive. I spent so much time hooking up and working on my tan, there was little left for anything else.

When I arrived home, I unpacked, but not before turning Grindr back on. There were more than a few guys I was courting before I left for vacation, and I wanted to touch base with them. I either texted them or waited until they were in Grindr range.

One guy I wasn’t expecting to touch base with again was a local police officer. Originally when I started talking to him, it took a lot to get that information out of him. He and I sparred verbally on Grindr a few weeks earlier. He had a day off and had tossed around the idea of meeting up. When push came to shove, he wouldn’t meet up.

This time, he was a black box with no picture and he messaged me out of the blue, “Hey. It’s [X] the cop. Wanna meet up today?” Apparently, he was in the area and had some free time between errands. All I had to do was unpack and grab a few groceries, so I obliged. He wasn’t giving me any ideas as far as what we were going to do. I told him he could come over and hang at my apartment, but I was a little worried he would take that to mean hookup. I also suggested taking a walk. Finally, I suggested we grab a coffee and maybe take a walk along the waterfront. Within ten minutes, he was at my apartment. I hopped in his car and shook his hand. He was a cut little hispanic boy who wore his hat on the very top of his head. He even had the cute gay slight hispanic lisp. I found it endearing. We chatted a bit in the car until we found a parking space near Starbucks.

When we ordered our coffee, he tried to insist on paying for me, but I wouldn’t let him. There was no need for him to pay. I’m stubborn that way when it comes to money and people paying for me.

After we got our coffees, we took a stroll along the water. We talked about his precinct and what it means to be an officer of the law. He told me about his partner and their dynamic. He seemed like a really nice down-to-earth guy, but I didn’t feel a spark there. I enjoyed his company, but could not see a relationship between the two of us.

The conversation turned to family and then evolved into his ex-boyfriend. He explained how it ended and how devastated he was when it did. My heart broke for him a little. I don’t know why, but I’m a sucker for heartbroken guys — Big soft spot for them. When our walk was over, we hopped back in the car and he drove me home. He had errands to get to, and I needed to get myself ready for my date that evening and to go back to work the next day after a week away.

Based on our interaction, I didn’t think he was all that into me, but I sent the text message, “It was nice meeting you.” He responded, “It was nice meeting you too.” In my mind, that was the end.

Almost a month later he texted me, but it was completely in the context of a hookup. When I called him on this, he tried to spin it as friends with benefits. It was 11:00 on a Monday night, and he wanted me to travel to his place. He wanted sex, and nothing more. That’s fine. I’m not judging, but I also wasn’t into the hookups so much anymore. The conversation was very blunt and polite. But, if we hung out again, it would simply be as friends, or possibly from a phone call for him to come get me out of trouble…

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

1 Comment