Posts Tagged neighbor
Next Day Fallout
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on July 15, 2011
Following the iPhone debacle of 2011, I couldn’t manage to contact N. I couldn’t exactly walk across the street and buzz at his door either, since his roommates had no idea who I was. But I was a little worried. He was drunk the night before and didn’t come over for his pizza – very unlike him to leave food, but very like him to just pass out somewhere.
I had an epiphany. I hit him up on Facebook. I figured he’d check it at some point since he didn’t have his phone. Midday, he messaged me back and gave me his roommates phone number. He also told me he wouldn’t be around for the day because he was going home for father’s day. I texted him on her phone, and he answered back. He said he was still in Hoboken because he was calling around to cab companies to try to find his phone. I told him I felt sorry for him, and I wish I could do something to help. Shortly after, we spoke on the phone, and I asked him if he wanted to hang out on the pier. He said he’d stop by shortly.
Around 2:00 in the afternoon, I asked him if he was still coming to the pier when I hadn’t heard from him for hours. At 3:30 I finally got a response. They had been cleaning the house after the party the night before. He also told me they were getting dressed and coming down. At 5:00 I told him I was heading over to D and K’s, my friends’ apartment for a bbq I invited him to earlier. He texted back, “Just got here.”
I was just hopping on my bike to head to the grocery store. I took my motorcycle helmet off and walked back to the pier. He and his roommate were sitting there sipping Dunkin Donuts. I sat down next to them to talk about the night before. His roommate was still giving him a hard time for ditching her on her birthday to go to a different bar. I felt bad because I had a feeling he did it to see me, but I certainly didn’t put a gun to his head. I didn’t even ask him to come. I just told him where I was. I asked if they were both going to come to the bbq. They both agreed to come. I told them I would grab some food for the three of us to contribute.
When the time came to go to the bbq, his roommate didn’t want to come. N and I walked over to my D and K’s. We had a great time relaxing. I was trying to distract N from the fact that he lost his phone. After we all ate, we decided it would be a good idea for all of us to smoke. So, the two of us walked back to N’s apartment to get supplies. He wanted me to come in with him, but, again, I knew better.
Some of his roommates would be home and it would create an awkward situation. I waited by the fence while he ran inside. He tried over and over to coax me in, but I stood my ground.
When he came back outside a minute later, he told me two of his roommates were home relaxing on the couch, and we walked back to the bbq. “See!” I said. Once back, I made a deal with everyone not to let me eat everything in sight. I told them to keep me away from more food at all costs. We all smoked. Some of us had unique reactions, and we all had a good laugh about it. I was yelling at my friend because he didn’t have the munchies yet, but I did. It wasn’t fair. But I still wasn’t going to eat.
We decided to clean up and move inside. We carried everything back to the kitchen, and N and I plopped down on the couch together. I snuggled up next to him, but he wasn’t the only thing I snuggled up next to. I sat there with a tub of artichoke dip from Costco and went to town. They all laughed at my failure to stay away from the food. They all failed me as well. No one did their job keeping food out of my reach. N was also being slightly distant. I wasn’t sure if he just wasn’t feeling me that night or what. Maybe he wasn’t thrilled with the PDA, but we had done it before in front of those same friends. I chalked it up to him still being angry or distracted about losing his phone.
That night was no different than any other night. I hadn’t slept with N in a few nights, so he spent the night. We fooled around and had fun. I really appreciated getting to spend some time with him after barely seeing him all weekend. Maybe I was smothering him, but it was too easy to call him to come over when he lived right across the street. And, I never heard him complain. But, as far as I could tell, we were both happy. I was very happy to have him in my life. And, with that, I went to bed…
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Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on July 7, 2011
That Friday night, N went to his friend’s birthday party at a bar in Hoboken. I was pretty beat, so I decided to stay in for the night. I had 2 Netflix waiting to be watched.
At this point, N is only out to 3 women in his life. His mother, his roommate and a friend in Florida. He was going to the party with many of his college friends, none of which knew of his penchant for men. Earlier that day, we discussed our plans for the night, and N mentioned I could pop by the party unannounced. He wanted to see me, but no one knew about us, so we’d have to be discreet and “just friends.” They were going to a bar that I have frequented a lot. I could have easily gathered a few people and gone, but I knew better.
First off, I had no desire to go out. Secondly, I knew he wasn’t really ready for that step yet, even though he was half extending the invitation. We would be trying to hide it so much it would be obvious. Instead, I stayed in, receiving picture messages of him in the mirror of the bathroom.
I made dinner and plopped down on the couch in a pair of gym shorts; a perfect night if you ask me. One of the movies I had from Netflix was Amistad. I had never seen it and remembered it getting a lot of hype when it came out. Half way through it, I realized it was not a movie for a Friday night. I had no idea it was so heavy. It was almost as bad as watching Schindler’s List.
Late that night, around 1:00 in the morning, I got a call from N. He told me he had someone who wanted to meet me, and asked if he could bring her over. I assumed it was his roommate. He had spoken about her many times and told me how badly she wanted to meet me. When I finally buzzed them in, much to my surprise, it was not his roommate at all.
N was very drunk. He had a stain down the front of his shirt and was slurring his words. He introduced me to his friend and went on to tell me he told her he is gay that night at the bar. Apparently she didn’t take it very well, but was consoled by his roommate who also knew. But after that, she was dying to meet me.
This gave me warm fuzzies. He was so excited about us, he couldn’t wait to tell someone and was now bringing her home to show me off. It was a big night for him. He took a big step forward as a gay man, but we also took a step forward as a couple.
Shortly thereafter, his friend left so we could do our thing and go to bed. N was so drunk, he slid down the back of one of my living room chairs and broke the leg off. I picked him up and we moved to the couch to snuggle. It was nice having him there that night. I was very happy to see him. We watched TV for a short period before he fell asleep on me. I tried to wake him, but no matter what I did, he just lay there. I even gently slapped him across the face, but no movement, just grumbles. He is too big of a man to when he’s dead weight to carry, so there was nothing I could do besides leave him sleeping on the couch. I managed to lift his legs up onto the couch so he would be comfortable, and I went to bed.
In the morning, I woke and came out to the living room to find him still sleeping. I began to make breakfast, and shortly after he woke up. He told me at one point he woke up on the floor pinned between the couch and the coffee table. I told him that’s what he gets for not coming to bed with me.
We sat and ate breakfast and rehashed the night before. He didn’t remember a lot of the things I told him, so it made for an interesting conversation.
I was really starting to enjoy this new groove we were getting into. When I was with Broadway, I barely saw him. It was usually only to sleep together. With N, I was really starting to build a relationship with a strong foundation.
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Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on July 6, 2011
Every Thursday I play in a coed volleyball team. This particular Thursday, I had to possibly play 6 games. We were in the semifinals, and if we won, we would continue onto the finals. After the game, my team all decided, no matter the outcome, we would go to the bar that sponsors our team, McSwiggans, for a post-game drink.
I spoke with N earlier in the day about my plans for the evening. He was very supportive. I was kinda taken back by it. Throughout the day I got motivational text messages. I felt like he was truly invested in my life and my happiness. I have NEVER had that before. It was a nice change from the men I’d been with, and it made him all the more attractive to me.
I went to my games and had an awful time. One of my teammates did not want to be there, and we lost the first round as a result. Regardless, we were heading to the bar. I texted N to let him know we finished early and told him the results. He sent me messages to console me. I told him that I played well, and there was nothing I could do to change it. I was over it. He responded, “Atta boy!!”
He originally planned to hit up the gym, but stayed home and drank by himself instead. So when I arrived home, he showered and came over while I showered and got ready to go to the bar. We both made road sodas to take with us to the bar for the walk. He asked me a lot about the game and my team dynamic, and then we talked about his night. When we arrived at the bar, I introduced him to my teammates. None of them know I am gay unless they’ve surmised it on their own. However, after that night, they could probably tell. We certainly not being obvious, but there was no denying the attraction between us. If you saw the way we were looking at each other, you knew. The drunker we got, the more obvious we were.
Regardless, I had a blast. It was the first time we’d gone out to the bar together and got drunk. He was dancing for the first time in front of me as well. He had always told me how good of a dancer he is, but I was finally seeing it live and in person. I was blown away to be honest. He really is a good dancer. I was ready to go home many times, and was certainly properly inebriated, but he continued to buy drinks for us. Finally, the closing time bell rang, and it was time for us to go.
We went home and rolled around in the bed until we passed out on each other. Yet another good night spent with my special neighbor.
Follow @onegayatatimeStarting the Routine
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on July 5, 2011
At this point in my relationship with N, we started to find a groove. The nights he wasn’t sleeping in my bed were few and far between. We had gone for runs together. He would come over and eat dinner with me, or I would wait for him to finish at the gym so he could come over and order food. We were living the life of the happy couple. And I was eating it up.
This summer, I decided I was going to be more active and take full advantage of all the free programs offered in Hoboken. When free yoga Tuesdays on the pier popped up on my radar, I passed the schedule along to all my friends encouraging them to partake, including N. I had never done yoga before, but I have always had the desire to start. I was thrilled to hear that many of my friends wanted to partake, including N.
That Tuesday, I also had to drop off my motorcycle for an oil change. By the time I got back to Hoboken, I was 20 min late for yoga. Two of my friends were already there, D and K. So I plopped down next to them. In the meantime, yet another friend arrived, and finally, N arrived and found a spot in the back of the group.
The class was great. I really enjoyed myself and felt I got a lot out of the class. When it was over, we all gathered to chat. The lot of us decided to head to Maoz for some healthy dinner. N and I went home to our respective residences to shower before heading to the movies for free movie Tuesdays also in Hoboken. The two of us were joining D and K to see the new X-Men First Class movie.
It was a packed theater, so signs of affection were reserved. Just a little arm touching throughout the film. It was kinda nice. I would have been comfortable holding his hand in a dark theater, but I didn’t want to push it. We were moving forward on his comfort schedule.
When the movie ended, we went back to my apt and took advantage of all of our yoga stretches…
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The Start of a Spectacular Weekend
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on June 30, 2011
The Friday following my business trip to Memphis, my special neighbor, who we’ll call N from here on out, came over. I was pretty beat from my trip, and he had a hard day at work. We decided against going out for the night and settled on Mediterranean on the couch. We ordered food and snuggled up for a movie. For me, there’s nothing better than having someone to come home to after a stressful business trip. I also finally figured out my roommate situation (or so I thought), so that stress was lifting. One of my good friends from Long Island was taking one room, while North Carolina was laying claim to the other.
We noticed It’s Complicated was on TV. I told him it was a very good movie, and he hadn’t seen it, so we watched it. I was happy we picked a more romantic movie for our night in on the couch. I just wanted to snuggle up to my big man and feel at home. We both enjoyed the movie immensely.
When the movie was over, we went into the bedroom to have sex. It was a very good night, and we finally dozed off late in the night.
The next morning, we were going to the beach with my sister. When she came to pick us up, N was running late. She started to get p*ssed, and made the comment to me, “Do you even know this guy? I don’t exactly like bringing strangers with me to the beach in my car.”
I flipped out on her and asked her why should would make such a malicious comment. “I don’t like the implications you’re making right now, and I suggest you back off!”
N finally arrived, and I introduced him to my sister. We had a nice ride out to Long Beach, Long Island with nice conversation. When we arrived at the beach, N got a little more affectionate with me. He was feeling comfortable in public, probably since he didn’t know anyone. We put suntan lotion on each other’s backs, and as we laid on the blanket next to each other, he periodically put his arm around me. When I was in his stage of being comfortable with myself, I was not that ready for PDA. I was impressed with how fast he was evolving and finding his comfort zone.
The time came to head back home to avoid serious traffic. We packed up and made our way back to the city, all the while my hand was in reached into the back seat stroking his leg, and then finally making it’s way to his crotch. He rather enjoyed it, and I think the possibility of my sister noticing made it all the more exciting for him.
When we got back, we both went to our separate apartments to shower. We were going out for dinner that night. He was excited we were going on a “real” date. There is a restaurant I have been dying to hit up for a date since before I was dating Broadway. I was never able to take him there, so N and I went to Dino and Harry’s. We both enjoyed our meals a great deal. We shared desert after seeing others immensely enjoying theirs, as did we. We also watched as a couple was on a date. The man abandoned the woman to go over to the piano to join in the karaoke. We both talked about how much of an as$hole he was, and I became more attracted to N’s personality. It was a very special date for me.
A few of my friends he had yet to meet were at City Bistro that night. Since it was only 2 blocks away, I suggested we go there for a few after dinner drinks. He met them all, and they all loved him. He was giving some of the girls dating advice and really stood on his own two feet with them. This is very big for me. My friends are very important to me, so I thoroughly enjoy when the man I’m dating fits in the mix.
After a while, we were both exhausted, and we decided to go home. As usual, we ended up in my bed. With N, the sex wasn’t always perfect. Sometimes the condom caused a problem. Sometimes things were awkward. But not being perfect doesn’t mean it wasn’t great. We were both finding our sexuality and learning about each other. We were exploring new things and finding out what made the other tick. I really like that we were going through the process together. I think too many people, especially gay men, feel sex is going to be like it is in a porno flick. It’s not. Even the best sex is not like sex in porn. There are emotions tied into it, whether you acknowledge it or not.
Finally we dozed off. I laid there with a smile on my face. I had only known this man for a short period of time, but we were fully immersing in each other’s lives, and I was starting to have very strong feelings towards him.
This created a whole new dilemma. My blog is about dating. If this guy became my boyfriend, would I tell him about the blog? Will he read it and want nothing to do with me? Will he insist I don’t write about him? Or will he be totally cool with it and excited about? This was something I was going to have to figure out soon. I’m very honest in my relationships, sometimes to a fault. This was certainly something I was going to have to come clean about. Only time would tell the ramifications of the timing of that discussion.
Follow @onegayatatimeAt the ripe age of 26, I came to a life changing conclusion. I'm GAY!
It took me 26 years to realize this and come to terms with it, but coming out's been the best decision of my life.
This blog is about my dating life in NYC and what happens next...
One Gay at a Time 