Posts Tagged Long Beach

The Perfect Ending on a Cloudy Day

Saturday morning, I woke up to CK’s lips caressing mine with a gentle kiss. “Morning baby,” he whispered. As my eyes opened and slowly adjusted, his face came into focus and a smile grew on my face. What a great way to wake up!

NYCSkylineAfter taking my sweet old time getting out of bed, I made my way to the kitchen to start making us coffee and breakfast. We planned to hit the beach for the day, but our coffee wasn’t the only thing with clouds in it. I realized trekking out to Long Beach wasn’t worth it if the weather wasn’t going to shape up. So, instead of having cereal, I cooked us eggs and pancakes.

CK asked if there was anything he could do to help as he wrapped his arms around me from behind. “No. I think I have it covered,” I responded.

While I didn’t need his help in creating the food we were going to eat, I was hoping he would keep me company while I did it. However, while I was cracking eggs, he was off in the corner tweeting, Instagramming, GetGluing, and emailing away. This was a point of contention between us. At times, I felt he put more importance on his virtual friends and followers than he did with the man who was physically present at the moment. When I asked him a question, and it fell on deaf ears. I started to feel unappreciated. I felt like making breakfast for us was my duty. It was simply expected of me.

PhoneBusinessAttireI asked him, once again, to be more present and put the phone down. I pointed out how often he was glued to his phone. Even though I understood how important social media was to him, I felt overshadowed by it. Of course, he responded quite defensively, and an argument ensued.

This continued for some time before he used the same phrase I heard on Friday: “Do you really want me, or do you want some changed version of me?” I reiterated for him how much I loved him and how I was not trying to change him. There were so many inherent qualities he possessed I loved about him, but there were also a few behaviors by which I felt disrespected. This was something new for both of us, and we were both learning what it means to be in a substantial relationship.

Instead of diving into another world while I cooked his breakfast, perhaps he could have sat at the counter and engaged with me. I know I’m sound like an unappreciated housewife, but at the time, that’s exactly how I felt.

PhoneScreenTextingIn an isolated incident, this would have been nothing. However, I’m a very analytical person, and I notice patterns, sometimes in their infancy stages. I didn’t want this to become a typical behavior. We’ve all seen it in movies — The dad who doesn’t engage with his family because he’s glued to his blackberry putting out fires for work. I wanted him to take the time to separate out the noise. I wasn’t asking him to give up his virtual world. I was just asking him to be conscientious of when and where he engaged. Obviously, I have my own social media accounts to manage, but I never put them before the people I am with in real-time, especially him.

I’d been on the other side of this paradigm. Before I met CK, when I went out to straight bars with my friends, I was often engaging with others on Grindr. My friends complained I wasn’t present, but I explained how that was the trade-off for spending time with them in places I was much less likely to meet a man. Looking back, I can see how insulting it can be to be physically with someone while mentally, they are in a virtual world.

The fight grew and grew much bigger than the initial sentiment merited. I tried to calm things and explain I wasn’t looking for a fight. I was simply trying to point out something I didn’t appreciate so he could do something about. I was trying to communicate. I didn’t want him to get defensive, and I wasn’t looking to take the offensive. In time, hopefully these situations wouldn’t escalate like this. I was trying to lengthen my fuse, while he was learning to deal with the enigma that is myself.

Diner BreakfastEventually, cooler heads prevailed, and we sat to eat our breakfast. He thanked me for making breakfast with a kiss.

Since the weather was far from motivating, we spent a majority of the day on the couch watching Game of Thrones and fooling around. Our ever-healthy libidos were calling out to be quenched as well. Fooling around soon turned into more vigorous exercises.

The front of my apartment is nearly all windows. This doesn’t exactly allow for privacy unless the shades are drawn. I didn’t want to interrupt the moment by closing the shades, and I knew it would only feed CK’s exhibitionist side to leave them open. Self-consciously, I glanced out the window and noticed a woman across the street. I had a feeling she’d seen us and tried to decipher whether or not she was continuing to watch us. I couldn’t decide either way, and I was far more distracted by the gorgeous man in front of me than the stranger across the street. If she wanted to watch, let her. All this commenced with a climax, and me taking an afternoon nap on top of him.

When we woke, I continued with my plans to bake a few pies. This time, when CK asked if he could help, I welcomed his assistance with open arms. Together, we made two pies, torturing ourselves with the delicious smells coming from the oven as they baked. We engaged in Instagram together, taking pictures of our masterpieces and uploading them together. At least our heated conversation earlier that morning was finally bearing fruit.

AnthonyDavidsThat night, to properly celebrate three months together and make up for the previous night, we decided to hit up a restaurant I’d been dying to go to for six years, Anthony Davids. It was always difficult to get into because there was usually a line of people waiting for a table. We didn’t have any other pressing plans, so we decided to give it a shot.

We were seated in the coziest table in the joint. The ambiance was already setting the perfect mood for the night. All the fighting and bickering from earlier in the week slowly disappeared from my consciousness. Our stellar waitress opened the Malbec we brought with us, and CK proposed a toast. “Here’s to the beginning of our 2nd quarter,” he boasted. It was a very cute sentiment, and it put a smile on my face.

 

AnthonyDavidsDiningOver the course of our amazing meal, I slowly began to realize the bigger picture. I realized it was all worth it. No matter how much fighting there was, the good times – times like these – were priceless!

Our night could not have gotten much better. The service was impeccable, the food was divine, the ambiance was indescribable… We finished our meal and walked back to my apartment hand-in-hand. We were exhausted from a long day of lounging about on the couch. When we got home, we brushed our teeth and climbed straight into bed. I could not have been happier. I was utterly in love, and my relationship with CK was really starting to take shape.

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The Start of a Spectacular Weekend

The Friday following my business trip to Memphis, my special neighbor, who we’ll call N from here on out, came over. I was pretty beat from my trip, and he had a hard day at work. We decided against going out for the night and settled on Mediterranean on the couch. We ordered food and snuggled up for a movie. For me, there’s nothing better than having someone to come home to after a stressful business trip. I also finally figured out my roommate situation (or so I thought), so that stress was lifting. One of my good friends from Long Island was taking one room, while North Carolina was laying claim to the other.

We noticed It’s Complicated was on TV. I told him it was a very good movie, and he hadn’t seen it, so we watched it. I was happy we picked a more romantic movie for our night in on the couch. I just wanted to snuggle up to my big man and feel at home. We both enjoyed the movie immensely.

When the movie was over, we went into the bedroom to have sex. It was a very good night, and we finally dozed off late in the night.

The next morning, we were going to the beach with my sister. When she came to pick us up, N was running late. She started to get p*ssed, and made the comment to me, “Do you even know this guy? I don’t exactly like bringing strangers with me to the beach in my car.”

I flipped out on her and asked her why should would make such a malicious comment. “I don’t like the implications you’re making right now, and I suggest you back off!”

N finally arrived, and I introduced him to my sister. We had a nice ride out to Long Beach, Long Island with nice conversation. When we arrived at the beach, N got a little more affectionate with me. He was feeling comfortable in public, probably since he didn’t know anyone. We put suntan lotion on each other’s backs, and as we laid on the blanket next to each other, he periodically put his arm around me. When I was in his stage of being comfortable with myself, I was not that ready for PDA. I was impressed with how fast he was evolving and finding his comfort zone.

The time came to head back home to avoid serious traffic. We packed up and made our way back to the city, all the while my hand was in reached into the back seat stroking his leg, and then finally making it’s way to his crotch. He rather enjoyed it, and I think the possibility of my sister noticing made it all the more exciting for him.

When we got back, we both went to our separate apartments to shower. We were going out for dinner that night. He was excited we were going on a “real” date. There is a restaurant I have been dying to hit up for a date since before I was dating Broadway. I was never able to take him there, so N and I went to Dino and Harry’s. We both enjoyed our meals a great deal. We shared desert after seeing others immensely enjoying theirs, as did we. We also watched as a couple was on a date. The man abandoned the woman to go over to the piano to join in the karaoke. We both talked about how much of an as$hole he was, and I became more attracted to N’s personality. It was a very special date for me.

A few of my friends he had yet to meet were at City Bistro that night. Since it was only 2 blocks away, I suggested we go there for a few after dinner drinks. He met them all, and they all loved him. He was giving some of the girls dating advice and really stood on his own two feet with them. This is very big for me. My friends are very important to me, so I thoroughly enjoy when the man I’m dating fits in the mix.

After a while, we were both exhausted, and we decided to go home. As usual, we ended up in my bed. With N, the sex wasn’t always perfect. Sometimes the condom caused a problem. Sometimes things were awkward. But not being perfect doesn’t mean it wasn’t great. We were both finding our sexuality and learning about each other. We were exploring new things and finding out what made the other tick. I really like that we were going through the process together. I think too many people, especially gay men, feel sex is going to be like it is in a porno flick. It’s not. Even the best sex is not like sex in porn. There are emotions tied into it, whether you acknowledge it or not.

Finally we dozed off. I laid there with a smile on my face. I had only known this man for a short period of time, but we were fully immersing in each other’s lives, and I was starting to have very strong feelings towards him.

This created a whole new dilemma. My blog is about dating. If this guy became my boyfriend, would I tell him about the blog? Will he read it and want nothing to do with me? Will he insist I don’t write about him? Or will he be totally cool with it and excited about? This was something I was going to have to figure out soon. I’m very honest in my relationships, sometimes to a fault. This was certainly something I was going to have to come clean about. Only time would tell the ramifications of the timing of that discussion.

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