It’s amazing what the power of suggestion can do to you. All it takes is for someone to put an idea in your head, and you are rendered incapacitated. It can consume you and become all you think about. This power was wielded over me by who other than the 40 y.o.
Following my birthday weekend, I reserved Sunday night to sit my single ass on the couch and catch up on the DVR. I was all but finished watching everything I taped the week before when I got a a text message from the 40 y.o. “Recover from your birthday present? Want another bj?”
That’s all it took. The seed was planted. My mind raced back to the last time he came by, and all I could think about was how good it felt. I told him to come by my apartment. When he asked if I could come to his place, I became a little uneasy. I wasn’t sure about not being on my home turf. He wanted to host because he was doing laundry and packing for a business trip the next day and he “figured I’d take a break to blow you. lol.”
I explained to him I felt more comfortable in my own setting. To which he responded, “Understand. It’ll just have to be a raincheck then. I’ll be back in a few days.”
That’s where he had me. I lost the upper hand, and he knew it. I would either have to come to him, or I would have to wait for the blowjob that was just planted into my brain.
I tried my hand at being clever to lure him to my apartment. “Put a load in… Then I’ll put a load in, and you’ll be back just in time to switch it over. You know you want to.”
My tricks didn’t work. “I have to be smart. I have to be up for an early train. Guess I’ll have to watch porn and spank it.”
We sparred back-and-forth with our words, both trying to convince the other to come to them. Just when I had him convinced to make the 7 block trek to my apartment, one of my roommates came home. I was so close, and yet so far away. With that, I finally agreed to go to his place. He lives in the same building as one of my friends, and I needed to drop something off at her apartment.
When I arrived, he gave me a hug. He proceeded to show me around his apartment, the whole time playing with himself in his gym shorts. Finally he pulled me into his bedroom and sat me down on the bed. He pulled my shorts down just enough so he could get working on me. I took his shirt off and began to play with his nipples. We were both enjoying ourselves. He pulled off his shorts and sat naked on the hardwood. His member was BIG just as I remembered from the first time, however, he never got fully erect. I remembered this from our first encounter and how worried I was it would happen to me at the age of 40.
Then he did something that both shocked and disgusted me. He pulled out a small bottle, untwisted the cap, held it to his nose and heavily snorted in each nostril. I don’t have a lot of experience with drugs, so I wasn’t fully aware of what was going on.
I didn’t really want to look at him anymore. I told him to come up on the bed so I could lay back. He disagreed and said he wanted to stay on the floor. I complied.
It wasn’t much longer before my whole body was tingling, and I was ready to finish. I let him know how close I was by the volume of my moaning. He pulled me in deeper and took everything I had to give. When I was depleted, he commented, “Wow, that was a lot!”
I responded with the only thing I could think of. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you…”
He walked into his bathroom to rinse his mouth as I got dressed. When he came back into the bedroom, he pulled on his shorts and shirt and said, “I’ll walk out with you. I need to take the dog for a walk.”
As we walked down the stairs, we discussed the noise level of his neighbors. I began to wonder about his noise level. That’s when the thought crossed my mind, how many of “us” are there in his roster?
We got outside, and I said goodbye to both him and the dog. On that walk home, I was still feeling euphoric from the bj, but I also decided this was the last time I would have a sexual encounter with the 40 y.o. It was fun, but there were too many things about the whole situation that made me uncomfortable.
After that, he began stalking me on Grindr — heavily. After some time, I blocked him so he could no longer track my whereabouts. For a little while, I would respond to his text messages, but as of late, I’ve taken to simply ignoring him. I’m dreading the day I run into him on the street.
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#1 by Joe on June 17, 2011 - 10:50 AM
Hmmmmm, while i agree with you on most of your anti-drug comments, i’m betting that the brown bottle in this case was not drug-like (depending on your definition). Smelling salts (particularly ammonium carbonate) are in fact 100% legal and used to ‘wake-up’ uncontentious boxers and used a great deal in the power lifting world of sports.
Essentially athletes will sniff the bottle containing the white crystals to wake up and get more focused and increase vasodilation. Its not a drug and its used by olympic athlete, right in front of the judges/referees.
Just dropping some knowledge, still enjoying the blog!!!!
#2 by Daniel on April 11, 2013 - 9:23 AM
you wasted on Grindr know what I mean buddy? Or if those hurendds of hours on Grindr were at home, then by getting rid of the App you will end up using more of your time out in the world, face to face with possible suitors or dates because usually when you meet someone new.. the conversation won’t be starting with Got a shirtless pic? or What you into.. bottom or top? lolAnd you can add the fact that guys online will say & ask plenty things that they would never say or ask face to face especially to someone new. And lastly, I can guarantee that it will be MUCH harder for a guy you randomly meet in public to fake who they are LOL. I’m sure you see what I mean.Let me just say though, that I am not judging you and I am no doctor.. Im just a guy who read your comment.. and just thought I’d throw it out there that, what it seems like you’re saying is the reason for giving up, THAT is kinda the point to the 3 day no grindr video, because now that you get rid of Grindr, Give it some time change the attitude and be positive about life and go walk around the lake at the park and say hello to the next cute gay guy you see I know that you don’t know me and my opinion probably doesn’t mean Anything to you, but from reading your comment.. you obviously are at a rough patch in life dude, and from what I read.. you probably JUST started the process you badly needed to start actually Living and enjoying the simple things in life that people have enjoyed for hurendds of years before technology brought us the internet and Iphone Grindr (where we block someone nearby and wont consider them based on one pic & at first glance lol, or because they are 10 miles away instead of walking distance lol)All in All stud I don’t have to KNOW you to say I’d hate to see you do something stupid when it looks like you just recently took the first & biggest step to really have an impact on how you feel about things and to increase your chances Big time in meeting someone Real.. the natural way dude. If you think about it.. using Grindr and Adam4Adam etc, you were kinda Trying and forcing it with guys who really Only want a hookup’ and the whole time, you could have been dating the guy who does your landscaping (but you were inside on Grindr instead of flirting with him and sparking a conversation Anyhow sorry for rambling and I wish you all the Luck in the World. I hope you reread my lame opinion and at least think about it dude. I think you’ll be surprised!!!Nathan