Dating & the Homosexual Man

If you’ve read my blog, you obviously realize how difficult it is to date and find love in the homosexual world. There are many extremely difficult aspects of dating and sex for homosexual men, most of which exist purely because there are fewer opportunities for homosexual men to date and find other men. This is of course not to say that such opportunities don’t exist. However, the fact remains that most dating advice, venues, and even websites are designed primarily for heterosexual couples, leaving LGBT men and women out in the cold.

So, what are some good ways for homosexual men to be able to enjoy active dating and sex lives? Fortunately, there are increasingly many opportunities for such men to do just that. But here are a few tips that may help you to get some ideas:

• To begin with, being open and honest about your sexuality is a great place to start. This is obviously a lot to ask of homosexual men who are not already open about their sexualities, but at the same time it is a simple fact that dating and sex will be easier the more open you are about what you want and need. Society, unfortunately, has a long way to go before it is as accepting as the gay community deserves, but things are getting better, which has led to more opportunity. Just the other day, Vice President Biden expressed his viewpoints on the issue of gay rights, and immediately, the White House went into a tailspin of damage control. This wasn’t an issue they wanted to dig up right now, but now it is. We shall see how it plays out.

• Next, take advantage of places in your area that are meant to accommodate homosexual dating. There are numerous such clubs and bars in most cities. So, while it is sometimes less than ideal to have to seek these places out in the first place, they can also provide a great location and opportunity to meet other homosexual men. Maybe you’ll simply make a friend at the bar. Chances are that person has other gay friends. Friendships lead to relationships as well.

• You can also take advantage of the same types of opportunities online. These days, there are actually plenty of homosexual dating and sex related websites online, all of which can be helpful for meeting potential partners. These sites actually tend to have much higher success rates with leading people to sexual encounters, but it is also possible to find a lasting relationship on these sites as well. To go a step beyond that, you can even find sex toys and accessories at sites like specifically designed for homosexual couples!

• Finally, the best advice for a homosexual man looking for relationships and sex in today’s society is not to treat yourself any differently from anyone else. Not long ago it was difficult for homosexual couples to feel comfortable in public, or doing certain things that heterosexual couples don’t think twice about. But again, society has progressed to some extent, and it is now far more common to see openly homosexual couples in public and in dating scenarios. Embracing this change can lead to a far more fulfilling relationship, and is something that should definitely be taken advantage of.

You need to manage your expectations and set limits. Know what you are looking for and don’t allow yourself to be sidetracked. It’s going to be a journey, but be sure to relax and enjoy the scenery while you’re searching for the love of your life.

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  1. #1 by Becca on May 8, 2012 - 2:24 PM

    I love this post! Do you mind if I copy it and use it in my blog? I feel it is more genuine coming from someone who has been there! I’ll be sure to link it back to your blog and give you the credit. I would really appreciate it!

    • #2 by One Gay at a Time on May 8, 2012 - 2:48 PM

      By all means! Use it however you see fit.

      • #3 by Becca on May 8, 2012 - 2:57 PM

        Thanks! You’ll be able to see it on my blog within the next couple of days!!

  2. #4 by Anonymous on May 8, 2012 - 8:58 PM


    It’s great reading your sexual adventures and search for love in NYC. These stories really hit home because they remind me of when I came out and when I was going through my wave of sexploration — to imagine it taking place in a place like New York seems like you have all the more flavors, colors, and options to choose from!
    On a similar note, though, just stay safe and stay true to your goals, whatever they may be :). If you want my opinion to finding a good guy, you’re most likely to find him on okcupid with a profile that has some length to it and doesn’t emphasize the idea of hooking up too much (I’m a fan because it’s how I’ve found my b/f of 6 months going on 7!). From my experience, Grindr and a4a just end up eating your time and keep ya focused on the sex, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing if you’re just coming out. However, legit sites definitely increase the chances of consummating an ‘average monogomous’ relationship, but at the day the possibility of love lies anywhere!
    Best of luck to ya mate. I look forward to reading your blog!

    • #5 by One Gay at a Time on May 8, 2012 - 9:50 PM

      Very well said dude. I do, however, have to disagree with you a little bit. You can find meaningful relationships on sites like Grindr and adam4adam, but you also have to go in with set parameters and expectations. It’s very easy to be distracted by all the sex and to get sucked into it. If you stick to your goal, you can actually find some really great guys on there who can balance the emotional relationship, as well as the physical. It’s just SO MUCH MORE WORK. Please don’t take offense to this, but I’ve had a really hard time finding guys of substance on there.

      Thanks for commenting and glad to hear you like the blog. Keep reading. The story is just about to get good! 😉

  1. Dating in the Homosexual World | College Life- Sex and Relationships

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