Posts Tagged Sex
Appendectomy
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on January 4, 2012
I’m always happy to wake up next to Smiles. And, if you ever read my blog, you know I wake up horny when I’m next to a sexy man. This morning was no different.
If anything, it was intensified by the idea of abstaining from sex for quite some time since Smiles would be recovering from his appendectomy.
My alarm went off at 9:00am, and I knew I’d have to head home in a timely fashion or deal with my parents nagging. We cuddled in bed for some time, and I made some effort to seduce Smiles, but his head was elsewhere. I’m sure he was still working himself up over his surgery in a few hours.
I realized it was time to make my way home, and he told me his plans for the morning before his surgery. He wanted to move some of the last few boxes over to storage before he went under the knife. He knew he would be apartment bound for at least a week, and he wouldn’t be able to lift the boxes with his stitches. I, however, knew there was no way in hell he was going to accomplish that in the time he had before heading to the hospital.
I arrived home and my parents and I made breakfast. We mapped out our plan for the day. We had a lot of places to go — Lowes, Ikea, West Elm, The Container Store… It was going to be a long productive day.
My father and I went over the plans for the closet one more time to make sure our math was correct before going to Lowes for custom cut boards to build shelves and clothes hanging bars.
We worked on a few things around the apartment to get unpacked and settled before we began the day’s errands. I also had to make a trek to CVS to get some supplies to take care of my ankle. Once we got my apartment in decent shape, we made our rounds. This took up a majority of the day.
Smiles was supposed to be done surgery around 4:00/4:30. It was 5:00 and I still hadn’t heard from him. I was starting to worry.
Finally at 5:45, he texted, “All done. Going to bed. Soooo tired.” I responded, “Was just about to text you. Was getting worried… Glad to hear you’re okay. Talk to you tomorrow ;).”
When we realized we weren’t going to be home in time for a decent dinner, we decided to have the turkey the following day for lunch instead of dinner that night. We settled on Swedish meatballs from Ikea instead (We grabbed them after many friends recommended them, but I recommend you stay away from them!).
That night, my father and I assembled what we could to prepare for the work we needed to do the following day. It was late, so we couldn’t begin on the closet just yet.
I took the opportunity to work on my other side project. I wanted to make Smiles chicken soup since I knew he wouldn’t be able to make it out to provide for himself and wasn’t going to be cooking. If you can’t tell, I love taking care of the people I care about. It makes me happy and makes me feel needed. I wonder if I give too much sometimes, but then I reassure myself that I’d rather that than being incredibly selfish. I also think it makes up for the times I am selfish, which can be quite often.
While making the soup, I finally told my parents of my plan to visit Smiles the following afternoon since I was unable to help bring him home from the hospital that day.
I put a lot of love into that soup. It was my way of showing him how much I cared about him, and I couldn’t wait to deliver that appreciation.
Follow @onegayatatimeMom & Dad to the Rescue
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on January 3, 2012
Moving to a new apartment is both exciting and strenuous. For me, anything new is stimulating, but the arduous task of physically moving is exhausting. I needed to call in reinforcements.
Before my big move, I enlisted the help of my parents. When I broached the subject with them, my mother pointed out their physical inability to help my move. She volunteered them to come help me pack or unpack, but they were not lifting any boxes. I would never even consider the idea since neither of them are spring chickens.
I preferred they help me unpack because I would be able to pack over a long period of time, but I would need to have my apartment set up quickly for my holiday party. I also had a few major alterations I wanted to implement in the new place. I design a closet I would need to build to fit all my clothes. (This is where my inner gay comes screaming out).
They were set to arrive Thursday night in time to come watch my sister and I play in our weekly volleyball league. They were going to stay through the weekend, so my mother made lasagna and was bringing a turkey. We planned to go to the gym for our match and then have a late night dinner after.
The night before, Smiles offered for me to stay with him Thursday night since he knew my parents were staying with me. I graciously accepted since it would save me from sleeping on the couch when I gave up my bed for my parents. I thought it was really sweet of Smiles to notice that and offer a solution. He was also going into surgery the next day. While I was comforting him and put on a brave face since he was so worked up about it, I am always slightly concerned any time someone goes under the knife, especially when they’re being put under. I care a great deal about him, so I was thrilled to sleep with him the night before surgery.
My parents have seen my sister play volleyball in college, but had never seen me play. I was excited for them to be there. However, I was still exhausted. I could barely keep my eyelids open, as they felt like sandpaper, and I could barely lift my arms. We were doing fairly well, when out of nowhere, I came down on the side of my ankle after a hit. I knew as I was coming down to the floor it was a bad sprain. I’d sprained both ankles many times before running cross-country and playing tennis in high school. I was done.
I moved over to the bleachers to elevate my ankle and ice while my team finished out the matches. My mother took the opportunity to point out that I should have taken the night off. A sprained ankle couldn’t have come at a worse time. I still had a lot I needed to do that weekend. The only thing that could have made it worse was if it came the night before the big move.
My team fared well without me, and they all came over to console me after they finished. The sprain was bad, but I was able to walk on it. This wasn’t my first rodeo. I knew exactly what I was in for.
When I got home, my mother, who teaches athletic training to high school students, wrapped my ankle. I hadn’t told my parents yet, but I was still planning to ride into the city and spend the night in Smiles’ bed.
As we were waiting for the lasagna to heat up in the oven, I proposed my sleeping situation to them. They didn’t seem phased by it, but pointed out that I needed to be home in the morning at a reasonable hour. I told them about his surgery and how I would have to leave earlier regardless, but I wasn’t waking up until 9:00 anyway.
I was leery about the ride into the city. When I sprained my ankle, all I could think about was if it would limit my ability to shift gears on my motorcycle to ride into the city to Smiles’ bed. Luckily, I was still able to do so after wrapping it.
Smiles called to see when I would be coming into the city, and I told him I would arrive around midnight after we finished eating.
I got my parents settled, threw on sweats to head into the city and was on my way.
When I arrived, Smiles told me how long he had to go without eating or drinking anything, even water. He was a little worked up, so I did my best to calm his nerves. I told him to concentrate on his hot doctor instead. I was really hoping for one last throw down in the sheets since I knew he’d be out of commission for quite some time, but since it was so late, that wasn’t in the cards. Instead, after chatting a little bit about my ankle and his surgery, we dozed off in each other’s arms.
Follow @onegayatatimeHappy New Year!
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay News on January 1, 2012
Hopefully you’re waking up to a scene similar to this one this morning! Happy New Year!
New Years Eve
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay News on December 31, 2011
Honestly, I hate New Year’s Eve almost as much as I despise Valentine’s Day. That being said, I hope you night fares far better than mine have in the past. Find that special someone when the ball touches down to plant a big one on and celebrate a new year and new beginnings!
Rallying Friends
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on December 30, 2011
Every year, for the past four years, I’ve hosted an annual holiday party. Ironically, I started it with a First Annual Holiday Bash because I wanted it to become one of my holiday traditions. It would be the one time of year I gathered with my closest friends and spent time with them around the holidays to show just how much I truly appreciate their friendship.
From its first year, it’s been a big hit. An invitation one year is no guarantee of an invitation the following year. I always make sure I surround myself with the people in my life I care most about. If within the following year I fall out of touch with someone, I don’t extend an invitation.
Earlier this year, my friend reached out to me to plan weekends in December. She knows of my party and wanted to make sure I wasn’t hosting it the same night she was celebrating her birthday. We both picked dates and put it to bed.
Months later, I found out I was being evicted from my apartment since my landlord finally sold it. Our eviction date was November 30th; eleven days before the planned date of my holiday party.
This was one tradition I was not ready to relinquish, not matter what it took. Some of my friends look forward to the party a full year in advance. I make an incredible spread (not allowing anyone to bring any food of any sort), and everyone fasts for an entire day leading up to the party.
This posed a serious challenge. I would have to move into a new apartment, get it settled and cater for about forty people in ten days — A near impossible feat. However, my determination is not to be underestimated.
When I sent out my Evite, my sister immediately criticized the invitation of N. She was shocked to see I would invite him, but she also didn’t have the full story.
Apparently over the course of my short relationship with N, I mentioned my annual holiday party. As the holiday season was drawing nearer, he asked for the date of said party: “When is your holiday party so I can put it in my calendar? I’m trying to attend as many holiday parties as possible without missing one.”
Did he just invite himself to my holiday party?! I mean, he was on the maybe list, I’ll admit that. But I had no intention of inviting him in the first round of invitations.
This isn’t because I was holding a grudge over our failed relationship. It was mainly because I was disappointed in him. Considering we lived across the street from each other, I thought I’d at the very least be seeing him periodically. However, since our last discussion about our failed relationship, I hadn’t seen him once. I still had never been to his apartment considering I basically walked past it every day. He never put in an effort to be my friend following our breakup, so I no longer felt the need to attempt myself. I’d given up.
When he invited himself, I had to quickly think of the best and most dignified way to deal with the situation at hand. I started with honesty. “Oh.. Are you invited to my holiday party???” I quipped. “I’m …. just gonna go… f*ck myself…” he responded. I successfully made him feel uncomfortable, but then lightened the blow. I couldn’t do much. My hands were tied. I’m not rude enough to tell him he can’t come, but I wasn’t sure I really wanted him there either. “HAHAHA. Just giving you sh*t. Sending out the Evites today…”
When others friends learned of his attendance, they weren’t happy. I was confused by this. I didn’t think anyone would care. When we were dating, my friends loved him. Everyone approved and expressed this to me. He was a very charismatic guy to be around and played nice with all my friends. It was one of the biggest things that attracted me to him.
However, when he crushed me at the end of our relationship, everyone’s opinion of him quickly shifted.
I have to admit, I don’t know if my opinion wouldn’t have shifted so drastically. If he didn’t do anything to hurt me, I would see no need for malice toward him. I wouldn’t be his best friend, but I would certainly be civil.
This wasn’t the case with my friends. In an overwhelming show of support, they all rallied against him and attempted to convince me to retract my invitation.
I was blown away. I never experienced anything like that before from my friends. I was truly touched.
However, I would not be able to fulfill their requests. I was not capable of uninviting him. I also felt it gave him the satisfaction of thinking he still had an effect on my life. I’d completely moved on. It took a long time, and I went through a lot of turmoil to get to that point. But, I didn’t need him to know that. (Not quite sure if he’s still reading the blog…)
One friend, J, was particularly poignant in his disapproval. “I’ll crack his head open.” I told him I was going to be civil, but I wasn’t going to pay much attention to him when he arrived. “Honestly, I think its risky having him there. Especially since he is a drama oriented person.” He pointed out that N may bring up the blog in front of Smiles just to p*ss me off. “Good point… Going to have to tell him not to mention the blog,” I added. “He may leave early since no one really wants him there.”
K and some of my other friends expressed their lack of interest in interacting with him, and he didn’t really know many others. J responded, “If I have anything to do with it he will leave early.” I couldn’t believe how passionate J was getting about this. He’d never even met N. “Look I’ll be civil… but if he gets out of line you let me know.”
One of my other friends who witnessed my rebound in Martha’s Vineyard, Shorty, made the following suggestion: “You should warn him that your friends aren’t really fond of him so he doesn’t feel bombarded if people are mean to him.” “No one will be mean to him, but they’re not going to go out of their way to be nice,” I speculated. “Haha. I might be mean if I happen to end up talking to him :),” she finished.
I couldn’t believe how much my friends were rallying behind me. To be honest, I thought they all thought I blew things out of proportion when it ended. I thought they all looked at me like I was crazy for being so emotionally broken up after dating someone for a month and a half. He really did break me down a little bit, and I still feel some of the lasting effects of that relationship, as much as I would like to put it in the past and forget it. But, I thought they all thought I was being melodramatic. Apparently, they validated my sentiments.
On another level, N wanted to bring his new boyfriend. I’m sure he’s a sweet guy, but I’d never met him. I didn’t want him at my holiday party. It wasn’t the time or the place to meet him. Selfishly and childishly I also wanted the upper hand. I wanted N to see me happy with someone else, Smiles, while he didn’t have his security blanket to hold onto. I know that is very immature, but in the dating world, I am still a teenager. I’d like anyone to disagree with me they wouldn’t want to do the same thing.
So, I told him he couldn’t bring him. I explained he situation, and I think N accepted my reasoning. It was going to be an interesting night regardless. Many variables were bouncing around, and no one could predict the night, even if some of my friends wanted to start a pool of bets on how early in the night N departed…
Follow @onegayatatimeMerry Christmas
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay News on December 25, 2011
Site Launch
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay News on December 24, 2011
First, I am thrilled to announce I am the new and proud owner of the domain onegayatatime.com. I feel so legit now! Please share the link with your friends and family and anyone whom you think might be interested in the content I write. You can also find me on Facebook, OneGay AtaTime, and you can follow me on twitter @onegayatatime. If you’d like to contact me directly as some readers already have, my new email is blog@onegayatatime.com. Enjoy!
Secondly, I hope you are all having a very special Christmas Eve! Warmest wishes to you, your families, and the loved ones you have the privilege to share the holidays with.
P.S. Don’t forget to abuse the mistletoe.
Sushi Cuddling
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on December 22, 2011
Congratulations to me! (Or should I say congratilations to us, considering I feel this has grown to become a community and not just a place for me to spill the beans.) This site reached 20,000 page views last night, and I had more traffic yesterday than any previous day. I’m very proud of the community of bloggers and commenters interacting here. So, keep reading, and I’ll keep writing.
Anyway… On with the show…
Smiles and I rode the motorcycle through some decent traffic back to his apartment from Brooklyn. It was now fully dark outside since daylight savings time kicked in.
We hopped off the bike and climbed the stairs to his apartment. He suggested seeing Twilight: Breaking Dawn pt 1 in the car earlier that evening, but now that we were back in the apartment, it seemed he had a change of heart. Instead, he suggested we pick a Netflix movie and order sushi for the night.
To be honest, it didn’t matter to me what we did. It was all just bonus because I had no idea we’d be spending so much time together. I relished every minute. At this point, we’d spent 30 hours straight by each other’s side. This was often the case with me. As long as we were together, I was happy, no matter what we were doing.
Was I losing a piece of my own identity? Possibly. Am I okay with that? Yea. I think I am.
He pulled up a sushi menu, and we decided what to order. I asked him for more comfortable attire since I had been wearing jeans all day, part of which was riding on a motorcycle.
We placed our dinner order and picked a movie relatively quickly. Before long, we were both in his bed laying next to each other to watch Hearts in Atlantis.
While we laid there, I placed my hand on his thigh with my thumb behind his knee. This was often how we watched movies. At one point he shifted a bit, so I pulled my hand back to another comfortable position. He reached down and placed my hand back from where I removed it. It sent a message to me he was enjoying the intimacy and my touch. He rarely verbalizes these sort of things to me. I never really know where I stand with him, and at times feel I am constantly auditioning for the role of the doting boyfriend. I feel it is part of the reason I am not climaxing with him. I haven’t yet felt comfortable with him where I haven’t been under pressure to make sure he likes me. I am hypersensitive to these sort of things, so when he does things like moving my hand back, I enjoy the moment for all its worth.
Our food arrived, and we ate in bed while we watched the conclusion of the movie. When it was over, we cleaned our plates, put away the leftovers and got ready for bed. Sadly, I still didn’t have a toothbrush at his place, so morning breath was sure to ensue. I did my best to brush with my toothpaste covered finger. Not very effective.
We climbed into bed and fell asleep next to each other. I’m always one for cuddling, so I would like it if we cuddled or spooned a bit before dozing off on the nights we slept together, but it wasn’t something I felt comfortable broaching just yet. Again, I was still thrilled I was sleeping over and wasn’t sent home hours earlier.
For every low point, there is a high point. The day had a nice start with a bit of an exciting/rocky afternoon. It concluded very pleasantly, so overall I had to seem is a success. I felt we were growing closer. No one spends that much time with someone unless they are extremely lonely or interested in a relationship with them. Or at least that is my line of thinking…
Follow @onegayatatimeBrooklyn
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on December 21, 2011
After an afternoon romp in the sheets, Smiles and I hopped on my motorcycle and rode out to Brooklyn for the day.
Smiles has a ’68 Ford Mustang parked in a garage out there, and it hadn’t been run in a few months. He wanted to make sure it would still start and take it around the block. I was thrilled because I was finally going to get to see the car! I had a crush on that car from the moment I learned of its existence, and Smiles knew this. I thought it made him sexier, and it turned me on.
Smiles rode on the back of my motorcycle clutching onto me as we rode over the Williamsburg Bridge and around Brooklyn. It was the first time had gone for a ride longer than a few blocks. I really enjoy riding with him on the bike.
We arrived at the garage and removed the cover from the car. I immediately took my phone out and began snapping pictures with my phone. I put my bike in his parking spot while he pulled the car out of the garage. I tossed my helmet in the back seat and hopped in. I immediately reached over and gave his thigh a squeeze to show him my appreciation and excitement.
As we drove down the street, every single person we passed by was enamored by the car. A kid stopped in the middle of the street with his mouth gaping as he watched the car come closer until he realized he was in the middle of the street. One man even took out his camera and snapped pictures while we sat at a stoplight. Apparently, I wasn’t the only one with a crush on this car.
He proposed we grab lunch somewhere fun, so we scoped out the neighborhood as we drove. We found a parking space and decided to walk around a bit until we found a pub to grab food in, Spike Hill. We settled in, and as per usual, Smiles started chatting up the waitress. After we ordered, unbeknownst to me, he asked her, “Do you know anywhere in the neighborhood where he could get his haircut fixed.” I wasn’t thrilled with paying to have my hair fixed. I was complacent to just let it grow out, but Smiles was pretty persistent.
She gave us directions to a barber up the street, Brooklyn General Barber Emporium, and I begrudgingly agreed to partake in the hair repair excursion.
We got to the barber shop, and from the looks of it, I was a little worried. They weren’t exactly welcoming either. There was a long wait, so we decided to go for a walk around the neighborhood to kill time.
Smiles was interested in opening a bar in the area, so we scoped out some possible locations and realtors. We also popped into some cool hipster shops.
While in one of them, there were two gay men working together making a hysterical fuss. “You got to open one, so I want to open one too. It’s only fair.” “Is this the hunter green one?” “No, stupid! That one is just green.” “Well what about this one?” “That one is celery.” I couldn’t stop laughing at their commentary. I also noticed a poster on the wall I found very humorous. I was very close to buying it, if only I had someone I could give it to who would actually display it.
The time came to go back to the barber. It was getting dark, so I told Smiles we didn’t have to do it that evening. But once again, he was pretty insistent.
Finally it was my turn in the chair. I ended up with the female stylist who asked what I wanted done. She was extremely nice and full of energy. However, I use the term she loosely. I couldn’t be sure 100%, but I had my suspicions she wasn’t always a she. Regardless, she was a doll. Smiles stood in the wings while I explained what happened and what I wanted done. “Oh honey! What happened to you!? I could have done a better job drunk! You want me to butch you up?” she said. “YES!” Smiles said from behind me.
Once she started, Smiles returned to his seat intently watching her cut my hair. I found it extremely cute and adorable how he took an interest in my appearance. She asked me, “Is that your boyfriend?” I simply replied, “Yes.” Then she excused herself for the question on the off-chance I wasn’t actually gay. I told her, “No harm, no foul.”
In the end, Smiles and I were both very happy with my new haircut. I thought I was going to be very uncomfortable with it since it was so much shorter than I usually cut my hair, but I was thrilled and shocked. She really did a great job fixing my cut.
We also took the walk back to the car as an opportunity to discuss the status of my barber. He agreed that miss used to be a mister.
On the way to the garage, Smiles proposed going to see the new Twilight movie. I was surprised, because usually at this point, I get the boot. I thought I was going home after I dropped him off because he’d have plans with a friend, but that wasn’t the case. I explained to him I’d never seen any of the Twilight movies, so I was worried I’d be a little lost, but I told him I was willing if he got me caught up. He took the time to explain what I’d missed. We rode back to the garage, swapped the car for the bike and made our way back to Manhattan…
Follow @onegayatatimeSexual Energy
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on December 20, 2011
I was elated after my romantic dinner with Smiles. What started out as a crap shoot of a night turned out to be quite and evening for the two of us to grow our relationship.
And, like any morning I wake up next to a sexy man after a solid night’s sleep, I was ready for sex. Smiles, however, was not. I didn’t want to wake him, so I snuck out to the kitchen to brew coffee and make breakfast.
Shortly thereafter, Smiles joined me in the kitchen. He came up behind me while I was making eggs and sausage, wrapped his arms around me and planted a kiss on my neck. Now, this is how I like to spend my morning. He grabbed a stool and sat at the counter while I finished preparing breakfast. He detailed for me his back pain, so I did my best to massage it out. It was no use. The knot was huge and not going anywhere anytime soon. Smiles called his energy specialist and made an appointment for that afternoon.
After we finished breakfast, we hopped on my bike and made our way into the city. We were in a bit of a rush to get him to his appointment on time. I dropped him in front of the building and told him I’d join shortly. I was going to poke around the shops in Limelight since I’d never been. He looked a little disappointed I wasn’t coming up, so I made it a point not to dawdle in the shops. I walked up to the “office” and entered the door. I had no idea what to expect since I did not utilize these types of services. I barely even go to a regular physician.
When I walked in, an attractive man who I can only compare to Matthew McConaughey by the way he was dressed greeted me as I explained I was there with Smiles. He invited me into a room with six massage tables occupied by people of all ages and types. I sat on the couch while Smiles had his energy “fixed” watching this man work his magic. He took the time to explain and demonstrate things to me while he worked. I feel he felt the need to prove something to me as a skeptic.
When Smiles finished, he joined me on the couch. I have to admit, while a skeptic, I felt the knot before his energy session, and I also felt the absence of a knot after. It was impressive. When he composed himself, we got ready to leave. The specialist said to Smiles, “You didn’t tell me you were dating Ed Norton.” I know it was meant as a compliment, but I wasn’t sure if I saw it as one. Regardless, I smiled and said goodbye.
We hopped back on the motorcycle and made our way to Smiles’ apartment. He needed to shower before continuing with his day, so I sat on the couch waiting for him.
Warning: The following may be too graphic for some. When he was done, he walked towards me in a towel, and I took the opportunity to seduce him. I grabbed the towel and pulled him closer. The towel almost fell off, but instead just exposed his manhood to me while we kissed passionately. I took hold of his exposed member and began to pleasure him.
He backed away and said, “C’mon,” as he walked to the bedroom. He stripped off my clothes, and we hopped into bed. We were FINALLY having sex again. We rolled around between the sheets until he found his way on his back. Not only were we finally having sex, but I got to top again. With his legs on my shoulders, I told him I wanted to see him finish because I knew it was something that usually excited me enough to get me off.
Of course, this wasn’t the case once again for me. He expressed his desire to make me cum. At that moment, I knew it was going to be nearly impossible for me to finish. We talked shortly about the issue. I assured him it was through no fault of his own. I laid next to him and attempted to finish myself off, but I couldn’t conquer the pressure. After what felt like five minutes, I gave up and apologized.
Smiles rinsed off in the shower, and I followed shortly after. While he was in the shower, I tried to see if I was able to climax without him in the room. I wasn’t successful. But, while in the shower, I filed through my mental spank bank and was able to climax. I never told Smiles about that out of embarrassment and the struggle to figure out what was preventing me from fully enjoying sex.
I was still trying to get over the shame of my embarrassing moment while still trying to enjoy the fact we had good sex after a dry spell. I got dressed, and we discussed our plan for the day. We were heading out to Brooklyn to run some errands, but I was mostly concerned with trying to enjoy the day without harping on the afternoon’s uncomfortable exchange…
Follow @onegayatatimeAt the ripe age of 26, I came to a life changing conclusion. I'm GAY!
It took me 26 years to realize this and come to terms with it, but coming out's been the best decision of my life.
This blog is about my dating life in NYC and what happens next...
One Gay at a Time 
