Posts Tagged virginity Singles in America

Continuing with this week’s Valentine’s theme, I want to highlight a study I had the privilege of learning about this weekend while attending Sweets in the City, an event hosted by Single Edition.

SinglesinAmericaMatchcom_zps167573c9107 million Americans are single, and is trying to understand them. Under the guidance of Dr. Helen Fisher for the third year in-a-row, has commissioned a national relationship study, Singles in America. After asking 200 questions to a perfect cross-section of the U.S., they learned fascinating new things you may or may not have heard in the news as of late.

I was shocked to learn both men and women judge each other first by their teeth, followed by grammar. It’s refreshing to know that in this day and age, communication is still important. Still, I’m surprised to see teeth topped the list (as well as proud of my pearly whites).

As a gay man who wants to one day get married, it was also refreshing to hear that commitment is back in style — 90% of those open to marriage believe they can stay married to the same person forever.

As Dr. Fisher reported the results, she was most-surprised by the increased emergence of friends with benefits. As a 28-year-old, I didn’t find this particularly surprising, having had my own FWB relationships.

In related results, virginity is no longer a core value in the dating world — If anything, it’s an obstacle. Gone are the days where the first instance of intercourse between couples occurs on the night marital consummation. I think it’s only natural that people want to test-drive the car before they buy it these days, even though women are less likely to admit it.

Sexting was a particularly interesting territory in the digital age. Although most singles believe sexting could jeopardize their careers or privacy, they still partook in this social taboo, proving love conquers all (including reason).

JustMarriedGayMenMy favorite statistic was that gay men fell in love more often than anyone else. We were more romantic, more experienced in “love at first sight” and more likely to be “deeply in love” with a long-term partner. Lastly, we had sex with the same frequency as other singles, finally proving the stereotypical perception of gay promiscuity is outdated.

I’m curious if this is due to wider acceptance of homosexuality and gay marriage, or if this has evolved naturally. Dr. Fisher made a point about not making a point of discussing homosexual responses as a separate entity because there are very few differences from the heterosexual responses. We’re not all that different after all.

The most shocking results were that women desired independence and men sought commitment. Single men fall in love faster and want to “move in” together sooner, while women still want to hold onto their girls’ night out.

Hear Dr. Helen Fisher’s own interpretation of the facts from Saturday’s event below:

This post was sponsored by the fine folks at Be sure to check out all the fun, fresh video clips at Singles in America.

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Handing in My Gay V-Card

I struggled with covering this topic so early in my blogging, but it fit in the timeline now. While I never get deep into specifics, if you are uncomfortable with the topic, I suggest you stop reading further through this post…

Something that always scared me was losing my gay virginity!

I mean, I’ve seen penetration in porn more times than I can count. Still doesn’t mean I had any clue what to expect. I was also never one to play around the back door — Never really an area of thrill for me, so it remained neglected. You also hear stories of girls popping their cherries and the pain they felt — I had a feeling that it would be similar for a guy.

I can’t recall how far into the relationship we were when penetration finally occurred. A little over a month maybe.

We decided to spend a night at my place. It wasn’t planned or anything we discussed specifically ahead of time. It just sprung from the passion of the moment. He took charge since this was my first time and obviously not his.

He was a very good candidate to take my V-card. Well hung, but not something that scared the sh*t out of me.

I tried to just relax. I have to say, it went much smoother than I expected. No searing pain. An interesting feeling having your prostate poked for the first time, I must say. This is where the pleasure stemmed — not the actual insertion itself. It certainly wasn’t my favorite part of sex (I love foreplay most) but still enjoyable. I felt closer to him than ever before. The care in his eyes made me feel at ease.

The next morning, we flipped, and he let me have my way with him. Big weekend for me! Two firsts in a matter of hours… I definitely enjoyed this more than receiving. While this became the typical horizontal arrangement, we shared all aspects of sex with each other over time.

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