Knowing is Love

After a night apart from CK, there was nothing I wanted more than to be with him. Days apart from him drug on incredibly slow. Work was what I did between spending time with my man.

We were really finding our relationship groove, spending nearly six nights a week together. I was a little worried I was losing touch with friends because I was spending so much time with CK, but I put in extra effort to make sure I found time to spend with them, especially if the opportunity arose for me to integrate CK with my friends. We didn’t live together, but we might as well have. After work, he’d come to my place, or I’d go to his. We watched TV together in the evenings and even turned some special TV events into romantic date nights, such as the season finale of Revenge or catching up on our new favorite cable series, Game of Thrones.

Couples that play together, stay together. We went for runs and worked out together. I was also taking the time to teach him some of the knowledge I collected over the years in the kitchen while we cooked dinner in tandem. We were a bona-fide happy couple. Rarely a moment passed we didn’t tell each other how much we loved each other. I’m sure everyone was jealous of our love or disgusted by our cuteness.

I started taking a passive interest in his hobbies. I went with him to the comic book store and watched him with great pleasure looking like a kid in a candy store. He too took an interest in my hobbies as well. One Thursday, he came to my weekly recreation league volleyball matches. He sat in the bleachers cheering me on taking pictures. I knew he was going to be bored out of his mind, but it meant the world to me having him there. What made it even more special was that I didn’t even ask him to come. He asked me if he could come some time. It really proved to me he loved me. It was also quite an ego boost having him there as well because he was turned on by my “jockness.”

On of our shared hobbies, we shared something else incredible — Our sex life. It was very healthy, and while we didn’t have sex every time we saw each other, we came close. We had sex sometimes before bed and sometimes sex when we woke up in the morning. At times, I even ended up going to work late because I couldn’t keep my hands off him, in the bed or in the shower. I’d also found the ideal sexual partner. Between us, there was no top, and there was no bottom. We both experienced sex with each other to the fullest. Our sex was passionate and fun. We never took things too seriously. We had fun in bed, taking pictures and tickling and wrestling. At times, sex got messy. This isn’t the most pleasant thing to write about, but it’s a fact of life when you’re having homosexual intercourse. We learned to deal with this without the embarrassment. We took care of things and moved on. I tell you this because I think you should be prepared for it to happen. Know you’re not the only one, but it is a very important step in a relationship when you can be so comfortable together.

We’d been together only a month, but I felt like I’d known him for years. Never before had I felt so comfortable with someone or loved them with all my heart. Never before had I felt so loved. I even went so far as to give CK a key to my apartment, and I cleared out a small space in one of my drawers to store clothes at my place.

On our days off, we’d lay around most of the morning before getting in gear to head out into the world, sometimes not leaving my bed until 1:00. If the weather didn’t cooperate, we’d stay on the couch watching movies all day snuggled in each other’s arms.

Since we first started having sex, we talked about getting tested. It was the responsible thing to do. I trusted him, but you can never be sure. I’m sure he felt the same way about me. Before we met each other, we had sex with multiple partners, so getting tested wasn’t a question. We’d also had unprotected sex, so that made it even more imperative we get tested.

One Friday, we had the day off and had plans to head into the city to see an off-Broadway show, The Accidental Pervert with my friend P. I had the idea to call the clinic and see if the had any appointments later in the day that we could be go in and get tested. I did this without consulting CK, but I didn’t think it was a big deal considering I made the call in front of him. If he was opposed, I would simply change the appointment, but I was certainly not going to cancel it. I needed the peace of mind knowing we were both clean and HIV negative. We had a discussion about the testing and agreed to keep the appointment I made. We both got tested and made our way to the show. We’d have to wait a few days for the results, but at least we were making big progress. Knowing is love. After the show, the three of us all went out for a lovely dinner at Boquiera in the Flatiron District.

I had never been so happy before in my life. I had a great man. We were being responsible. He was becoming a greater part of my life. Things were finally looking up for me. I have dated a lot of guys int he past and had sex with even more. Looking back, I’m not proud of a lot of what I did, however, I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I was better for the experience, and if all that lead to meeting CK, it was all worth it. I wouldn’t trade that for the world. I’d finally found the man of my dreams, and we were in love.

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