One Gay at a Time

4th of July arrived one month after I met the Broadway dancer. For the first time in years, I had no plans.

I knew I wanted to stick around to see the Macy’s fireworks since they were on the Hudson River again.

I asked him what his plans were. He was going to have friends over to see the fireworks since he lived in Hell’s Kitchen on a high floor and would have a great view of the fireworks.

I began hinting that I would love to join in the fun, but wasn’t about to invite myself.

After many phone conversations, saying, “I still haven’t decided what I’m going to do yet,” and “No plans as of now,” he never got the hint. He asked me what I was doing, but never extended an invite.

This was strange. I felt like he was purposely keeping me from something. Not sure if he wasn’t ready for me to meet his friends… But, we weren’t “dating” yet. We’d been seeing each other a month. I wasn’t going to force it.  I was doing a very good job of relaxing and just seeing where things went. Every day became more and more comfortable.

In the end I had a bunch of people over at my apt to grill and went on the neighbor’s rooftop to watch the fireworks. It was a really great night, but I wished I spent it with him.

After that weekend, I spent a night in his apt. While climbing into bed, I noticed condoms under the bed that had not previously been there. It raised a red flag in my head, but it wasn’t a used condom wrapper, so I didn’t overreact. In fact, I didn’t react at all. I was very proud of myself.

The next morning we were both in the bathroom about to brush our teeth. He pulled a toothbrush out of the cabinet and said, “Here’s your toothbrush.”

I looked at him with a look of shock and utter confusion until I was conscious enough to utter, “I never left a toothbrush here.”

He blushed awkwardly, and I could see him searching his head for a recovery, only to say, “Well this is awkward.”

I was a little blown away and a little worried. Was this guy some kind of player? Is that why I wasn’t invited to the fireworks? What kind of other fireworks were going on that night?

But again, I gained my composure and told myself that we hadn’t discussed exclusivity yet. I tried to just forget it.

To this day, I still don’t know the full story about the mysterious toothbrush. I brought it up casually 9 months later, but still never got a straight answer…