Archive for April 20th, 2011
I guess I’ve known I was gay for a long time. But I was in denial. You see the perfect family all over the media and in real life, and you think to yourself how badly you want that. You convince yourself that being gay is something you can overcome or ignore. Then you come to a breaking point.
I don’t exactly know when it is I realized that I was gay. I can think back to freshmen year in high school and remember being attracted to guys and checking them out in the locker room. I’m sure it goes further back. I never acted on these feelings however. Not for 26 years.
This is where my story begins.
A friend of mine introduced me to the amazing website chatroulette.com. I checked it out and found it was quite addictive… Anonymously chatting with strangers around the world. From there, I discovered manroulette.com, and I was hooked. I finally found an outlet to talk to other gay men anonymously and even have a little “fun.”
After weeks on the site I started talking to a guy who lived in New York. Living in Hoboken, it was interesting to think that this guy was just across the river sitting in his apartment in front of his webcam. We chatted a bit, mostly about how sexy the other looked, and then of course, we jacked off together. It was hot, and I wanted to keep the “conversation” going.
We exchanged info and started skyping a few nights a week. I found myself looking forward to our sessions more and more. We started to talk more about our personal lives. Slowly, brick by brick he disassembled the wall I spent the past 26 years building. Finally I told him my real name and how close to him I lived.
At this point, he asked, “Why haven’t we met?”
So I questioned myself and thought… Why the hell not!? It’s been 26 years and I’ve been putting on the charade. What do I have to lose? So I made the jump off the cliff and never looked back.
We set up a time for me to meet him outside work, and took a nice stroll back to his apartment. Once there he poured me a glass of wine and we sat on the couch talking for hours. I was so nervous I spilled my red wine. Luckily, the couch was red as well…
After quite a bit of good conversation, he made his move. It was great. He was an amazing kisser, and I really started to enjoy myself. (Later we would talk about this and he pointed out how he noticed just how much I was enjoying it).
After a passionate make-out session, we took things to the bedroom. Things got heavy and clothes came off, and we truly began to explore each other’s bodies. There was no penetration, but that was ok. I was just getting my feet wet (and some other things as well).
I spent the night, and in the morning he made me breakfast. We really had a connection and decided that we would definitely see each other again…