Posts Tagged hunting
CK and I had been spending a lot of time together. That’s what happens when you’re in love. But, that also means there’s a transition period where one goes from being single to being in a relationship. This transition takes some finesse. When you’re as used to being as independent as I was, it’s a serious adjustment.
I was used to working out on my own schedule. I would watch whatever TV I wanted whenever I wanted. I would go to bed when I was tired and wake up when I wanted. I would make dinner and not have to worry about catching a train to go see someone. That doesn’t go to say I wasn’t happy. Quite the contrary. It’s amazing the amount of free time I had by not hunting for a man all the time. I had an amazing man who loved me. Who could ask for more?
Wednesday morning, I woke up in CK’s bed by the sound of my alarm. I reach across him to grab it from the charger and turn it off. It’s safe to say, at that point, we were both awake, however, we were both incredibly groggy. It was hard to wake up. It’s also safe to say, with my libido, I was horny. After a few permutations of snuggling configurations, we started escalating the cuddling. This turned into grinding which led to sex.
This wasn’t exactly a quickie either. We had sex for quite some time. So much that it made us both late for work. We quickly showered and got ready to get out the door. It’s not the easiest to get ready with CK either since he’s such a distraction. I catch a glimpse of his sexy body out of the corner of my eye, and I can’t help myself. I find the gravitational pull too strong to resist, and I quickly find him in my arms with my lips traversing his neck. When he asked me what we were doing that evening, I gently pulled him away and suggested we take a night apart. “Don’t take this the wrong way! I’m not sick of you, nor am I trying to put distance in here. I just need to do my own thing tonight. I want to go for a run and do all the boring things you need to do in life that I don’t feel the need to put you through. Is that cool?” “Yea. I guess that’s fine,” he responded. I could tell he wasn’t thrilled with the idea, so I explained how a little distance may be good for us. “Absence makes the heart grow fonder,” I added while explaining how I was shocked I actually hadn’t grown tired of him. In the end, he agreed it was probably a good idea.
We finally made our way out the door, and he walked me to my office. I said goodbye to him with a big kiss since we were planning to take the night off.
After work, I made my way home. I took some things out of the freezer to make for myself for dinner. I was trying to eat healthier and work out more. I was starting to get pudgy again. I wanted to look hot for my man. On top of this, NYC Pride weekend was a month away. I couldn’t look like a fat mess. It was safe to say I’d be dragged somewhere I’d have to take my shirt off. I would already feel uncomfortable the way it was. Having to take my shirt off in a crowded bar would only make it more stressful.
I put on running shorts and my shoes and took off into the hot night shirtless to run along the waterfront. I felt great. It’d been a while since I worked out like that. I missed it and needed to get back to it. My body needed it too. Every song I heard made me think of Clark Kent. They made me miss him, but they also made me wonder what he was up to. Since I was still carrying around some light luggage, I have to admit I was a little worried CK may be engaged in some extra curricular activities. He gave me no real reason not to trust him, but I couldn’t quite get passed the fact I met him on Grindr. I know how I was on Grindr. I know how I’d cheated on N because of my suspicions he was cheating on me (which were rooted in fact, but still not excusable what I did). There was a small shadow of doubt in the back of my mind. In time, I would learn to fully trust him, but I was still a little broken from my previous experiences with Grindr guys.
I couldn’t stop thinking about him. I had nothing to do but run and think. This is why I don’t do well alone. I crawl up into my head and start causing problems. I even paused to take a picture of the Empire State Building in the NYC skyline to post to Instagram. I tagged him in the picture and sent it out to my Twitter followers. Just when I was missing CK the most, my phone started ringing. I was in the middle of my run and came to a screeching halt. I picked up, and we chatted a bit. It was very reassuring to me he wasn’t up to no good. He wanted to let me get back to my run, but I wanted to talk some more. I was happy to hear the sound of his voice. I told him how it was a dumb idea to take a night apart, but it did help me realize just how much I love him. I didn’t even want to spend one night away from him.
He asked me to send him a picture of me all sweaty and shirtless, but I declined. Instead, I dug into my pictures on my phone and sent him a sexy picture from there after we hung up. We said goodbye, and I continued on my run home.
I do find it’s necessary for parties in a couple to do their own thing sometimes. I had a lot of friends I hadn’t seen in some time because I was spending a lot of time with CK alone. I didn’t want to be one of those people who gets into a relationship and falls off the face of the earth. It was a delicate balance I needed to figure out. I hadn’t had many relationships over the span of my life, so this aspect was a bit new to me, however, I would figure it out. I had plenty of love to go around for all since CK made me the happiest man on the planet.Follow @onegayatatime
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Before I went to OCMD, I was talking to a southern gentleman who found me on Grindr. We hit it off immediately. He seemed like a level-headed guy, and he was 35. After my last failed relationship with a 25 year-old, I decided older was better. San Francisco opened me up to the idea of dating a man of that age, and I had a good feeling about it.
The Southern Gent and I messaged each other a lot on Grindr. We also exchanged pictures. He found me exceptionally sexy, and I found him to be quite attractive. He was no super model, but he certainly took care of himself. We exchanged Facebook information. I looked through all his pictures. They were of him being crazy at a wedding, boating on a lake, safari hunting in Africa, etc. The guy had a picture of a Zebra he took down. I was impressed and swooning a bit.
We tried to figure out a good time to meet, but it always conflicted with his schedule or mine. After a while, he went completely dark. We made plans to meet one Sunday night, but when that weekend came, I got no response to the many text messages and phone calls I made. “I can only assume you lost interest already… Not sure if I did something, but I’ve sent you msgs with no response. Was excited to meet you… If I’m wrong, you know how to reach me.”
An entire week went by, and I heard no word from him. I removed him from my favorites on Grindr so I wouldn’t have to look at him every time I pulled it up. Of course, that’s when he started to message me again. He apologize emphatically for not getting back to me and blamed most of it on getting a new job. I’m definitely one for giving second chances, and I though he would be a great match for me, so I agreed to meet him when I got back from my vacation.
While in Maryland, we texted periodically. We set up a date for the Sunday evening upon my return home. He picked Pier I Cafe on the Upper West Side. I took the bus into the city and hopped in a cab the rest of the way. I made my way down to the Hudson waterfront and saw him immediately. He had a very New England country club look about him. I liked it. He didn’t look like a snob, but he looked like he appreciated the finer things in life.
We both grabbed beers and tried to find somewhere to plop down. There were no tables available, so we found a cement wall to sit on. We got to know each other slowly. We talked about our jobs, our living situations, working out, college, etc. The conversation was flowing quite easily. He is an architect, which is something that has always interested me. I found it sexy. The one hangup I had with him was he turned into a total queen every time he laughed. He was a bit flamboyant. He could have sucked all the air out of the room after every laugh had we been indoors. It was extremely off-putting. I’m sure you’re all judging me as picky at this point, but it was hard to look past. I was starting to get annoyed with these guys who claimed to be masculine. It’s my one real hangup in the gay dating world, and guys self-judge this aspect of their lives VERY poorly. Basically, I’m attracted to dudes who just so happen to be attracted to other dudes as well, not some big ‘mo.
I also started to gauge the level of chemistry between us. It wasn’t exactly at its peak either. We shared a lot in common, but I could tell the attraction wasn’t there on both sides. We both passionately talked about cooking and our specialties. It was an interesting conversation. After a while, I noticed one of my friends. He also noticed me, so on one of his trips to the bar, he swung by to say hi. I introduced him to the Southern Gent and talked to him about how things were going since his marriage in Key West.
Four rounds and one basket of calamari later, it was time to go home. I gave him a small kiss on the lips and said, “We should do this again sometime.” I didn’t have such a good feeling about our chemistry as I did before the date. I was a little disappointed, but I thought maybe I needed to give him a second chance. I would leave that up to him. If he was interested, he would followup the date with a phone call. When the call never came, I knew my suspicions were accurate. I unfriended him on Facebook so I could write about my dates without feeling guilty.
I was disappointed it didn’t work out, but that was based on an assumption I made before I even met him. I would need to not get my hopes up so high before the first date. It would be the downfall of my morale if I let the bad dates and disappointment get to me…Follow @onegayatatime
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At the ripe age of 26, I came to a life changing conclusion. I'm GAY!
It took me 26 years to realize this and come to terms with it, but coming out's been the best decision of my life.
This blog is about my dating life in NYC and what happens next...
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