Breaking Up Broadway
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on May 17, 2011
Just want to start today’s post by reminding everyone it is the International Day Against Homophobia, held on May 17 every year. Keep it in your thoughts today, and every day.
On with the show…
After Florida, it’s pretty clear I was no longer committed to a relationship. I needed to end it. It crushed me to think such thoughts, but my heart was no longer in it.
When I got back, I texted Broadway asking if we could talk. After a short exchange, I wasn’t sure if he could see what was coming. I agonized over how to break the news.
That night, I met him after his show; no overnight bag on my shoulder. We awkwardly hugged and exchanged a peck on the lips. He asked me if I was ok. I said, “Yes,” with a shrug. He asked me what I wanted to talk to him about. This was the moment of truth.
“I feel like we’ve been drifting apart over the past few weeks,” I said.
He responded, “That’s it?”
I said, “No. I just want to hear your thoughts.” After that, I elaborated. I explained my feelings about how he acted during his trip to Barcelona and the previous weeks in general. He silently walked beside me taking it all in. I was so proud of myself for saying how I truly felt. I didn’t sugar coat it.
When I finished, he took his turn. He told me all my points were fair and valid, but I could never be prepared for what came next. He said, “You’re just not a priority in my life right now. I have school and work…”
I felt like someone punched me in the gut. I turned to him and said, “I have to say, that was very hard to hear.” I began to get a little choked up. Until then, I was strong and resolved in breaking up, but that statement tainted out entire relationship together. I wasn’t prepared to hear anything so harsh.
He acknowledged his emotional issues and his inability to call me his boyfriend. He also took the opportunity to unload a lot of issues he’d been holding back for some time. He pointed out my issues with the gay scene. I have never felt comfortable in gay clubs, and he knew this. He went on to tell me how uncomfortable and threatened he felt going to my favorite straight bar in Hobobken.
This was news to me. I defended myself. While not comfortable with the flamboyant gay scene, he never asked me to go. With the right crowd and understanding, I’m sure I could find comfort. I was uncomfortable because it was not familiar to me. He never gave me a chance.
This went back-n-forth. It never turned into a fight. We never fought through the 10 months we were in a relationship. We weren’t about to start now. It was a discussion about our differences. We came to an agreement. Although we were very compatible, we were not meant to be dating.
The conversation turned casual. He showed me pictures on his phone from Barcelona and asked about Florida. The he asked me how drinks with Boston went. After blatantly lying about its innocence, he said, “Well I had to ask. You know how it could look from my perspective.”
I immediately rebuked with, “Well, you have to know how it looks when you buy 2 bottles of lube the day you go away.”
He explained. He bought it for us to use. It was just cheaper than usual. And then added, “But, touché. I could see ho that looks shady.”
After walking around the city talking for an hour, I dropped him at his apt. We kissed and embraced. Finally, I pulled back and said, “Just because we’re not dating doesn’t mean we can’t hang out.”
As I walked to Port Authority, I felt power. Before this night, I don’t know if I would have had the confidence to be a person who set in motion the actions that would end a relationship. I was a new man who was about to fully exercise his new found freedom.
Florida Fun, The Sequel
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on May 16, 2011
If you’re just joining us, read Friday’s post before continuing…
The next morning, after only 3 hours of sleep, I woke and ran a few miles with D. I gave him the full debrief of what happened after he went to bed. He was very happy I was enjoying the new freedom I was allowing myself.
We got back and relaxed by the pool a bit. I texted Boston asking his plans for the day. He was heading to the beach after grabbing breakfast. Since the girls ate while D and I ran, we joined Boston and his friend for breakfast at The Hotel Breakwater. It was very casual and not awkward, however, I was fighting the beginning of a nasty hangover. Still I soldiered on. We discussed dinner the night before and all the stories that were swapped. Boston’s friend gave us all a new term to use referring to gays. “Pickle.” It was already part of my vernacular and fully utilized during my morning run and the remainder of my Florida trip.
We strolled down to the beach and met up with the girls. I hoped to get a minute to talk to Boston. I felt we should discuss the night before because I didn’t want things to get awkward. I was very attracted to him but also valued his friendship. We never got to chat exclusively. We did, however, have a very candid group conversation with D and his girlfriend about sexual encounters, oral sex, semen, etc. I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time. I love how comfortable and open my friends are — like a breath of fresh air.
When we had to get on the road down to The Keys, we decided to take Boston and his friend to La Sandwicherie on our way out of town. His friend loved us. She asked, “Ok guys. Where’s our next vacation gonna be?”
Finally, the time came to say goodbye. We dropped them off near the hotel, and the best I got was a handshake reaching from the front seat to the back. I wanted at least a hug, but it would have been a full spectacle to get out of the car and do so.
I spent the next three and a half hours in a car with nothing to look at but wide open water. Of course, I texted with Boston the whole time. I was trying to be flirtatious without being overt. It seemed to be working… to an extent. I was having the conversation I wanted to have in person over text. Probably not the best solution.
Once we settled in at The Bahama House in Key West, D and his girlfriend went to the rehearsal dinner of a friend’s wedding. K and I were on our own for dinner. Halfway through, she scolded me to stop texting Boston. I obliged, but was in the middle of expressing to him my relationship with Broadway was over: It was just inconvenient timing to end it before my trip. He was worried that he was the catalyst. I reassured him I was having problems well before I met him, and he knew that.
We met up with the wedding party following dinner. Apparently I wasn’t the only ‘mo associated with this wedding. Everyone told me I needed to meet this great guy. Word to the wise. Not all gay men are compatible just because they are attracted men. While everyone told me we needed to meet, no one actually took the time to introduce us. This is partly my fault because I insisted I get more lubricated before I speak to him, but once I was relatively tipsy, no one made the effort.
The next night D and his girlfriend went to the wedding. K and I found a spot for dinner. At this point I curbed my texting to Boston. D’s girlfriend started texting me about the ‘mo at the wedding. She told me he was anxious to meet and we should meet them when it was over and all go out. When we arrived, he and I were finally introduced. It couldn’t have been more awkward. After a few minutes, he excused himself to go chat with friends. I have to admit, while not interested, my ego was a little bruised.
When the time came to head home, I was trying to coordinate with Boston if we would be traveling along the same route at any point. We were flying out of the same airport and his connection took him through Newark, where I would be landing. I called him to get details and tried to work it out for me to swing by their gate at the airport. Timing never allowed for it.
Days later, Boston and I were skyping. That day, I was psyching myself up to ask him out on a date. I knew it was a dumb idea since we lived in different cities, but I also didn’t see why I shouldn’t give it a shot. After chatting for a bit, he was ready to sign off. My window of opportunity was closing. I asked him if I could take him to dinner sometime. He responded, “Yea. Let me just hop on my private jet.” To which I responded, “There’s no reason why I couldn’t visit Boston some time.”
This was followed by a looonnngggg pause. I could see how uncomfortable the proposition made him. However, he graciously responded, “Sure. I’d be down for that.”
The potential of this was exciting, but certainly more one-sided than I had hoped. After talking with him more, I realized a relationship was never going to happen. At that point, I was able to step back from the situation and realize he was a much better fit for the “friend zone.” I stopped my advances and started talking to him like a true friend, and that’s when I started getting more positive feedback.
When a business trip would land me in Boston, I had the opportunity to make good on my proposition for dinner, but that’s another post for another day.
Freedom in Florida
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on May 13, 2011
Before ever stepping on a plane to Florida, I told the friends I would be traveling with I was giving myself a hall pass. If Broadway went to Barcelona alone, possibly with a bottle of lube, then I was going to Florida with some new found freedom.
I didn’t break up with him prior to my trip. If you recall from my previous post, he wasn’t my “boyfriend” either. I never heard the phase “I love you” pass his lips. We had been dating for almost 10 months, but I no longer had any indication this was destined for the long term.
I have never been single and gay. I met Broadway, and shortly after, I came out. I needed to give myself the freedom to date. I needed to explore and experience. Is this healthy for a relationship? Was I setting myself up to cheat on the man I was dating for the previous 10 months? Maybe. But was it something I needed to do? Yes. Yes, it was.
Before heading to South Beach, Miami, Boston and I discussed meeting up. When my friend K and I arrived, we checked into Essex House and went down to the beach. I noticed a guy who vaguely resembled Boston. I pointed him out to K, and she said, “Ooooo. Go for it! He’s hot!” But when he walked down to the water with a female companion, the chemistry between them seemed more than just friends. Their body language suggested they were dating. Furthermore, this guy was wearing what I would later come to describe as “straight shorts.”
It wasn’t until I overheard their conversation as they were leaving the beach that I realized it was him. We were texting each other from 10 feet away for over 2 hours and didn’t even realize it.
Later that evening, K and I walked over to the sister hotel for happy hour. The other 2 in our party would be arriving any minute, but we were anxious to start drinking. I texted Boston and told him that if he could find us, I would buy him a drink. He was staying at this sister hotel, The Clevelander. After spotting us, he joined in our happy hour pitchers. Over the course of the next couple of hours, I drank about 4 pitchers. I was truly cutting loose.
Before this trip, I had no plans of attempting anything with Boston. He was just a solid friend. We were going to meet up for a drink or two, but after K made the comment on the beach, the possibility of more was planted in my head.
When my 2 other friends arrived, we discussed dinner plans at The Royal at The Raleigh and extended an invitation to Boston and his friend.
At dinner, I made a bit of a fool of myself. I had quite a bit to drink. When we finished eating, we walked back to the Clevelander for a night cap.
At the bar, I bought a round of beers. Boston tapped the top of my bottle to make it overflow. The only problem was I didn’t have a strong grip on my beer and it shattered on the floor. Minutes later, I retaliated, only to have the same thing repeat again.
After a short while, Boston’s friend went off to bed, shortly followed by my 3 friends. Boston and I were still sitting at the bar chatting when some guy came along interrupting us talking about real estate. Boston turned to me and told me to get rid of him. This was a window of opportunity. I was drunk and Boston is hot. I started getting a bit physical with him, rubbing his leg and petting his neck so the guy would leave. Finally, he got the hint and took off.
After my third trip to the bathroom, I asked him if he wanted to go for a walk. We strolled along the beach and found a comfortable spot to chat. We talked about careers and futures for some time before the authorities chased us. We moved our discussion to a wall at the edge of the sand. At one point, we were both just awkwardly staring at the ocean when I turned and kissed him. He immediately responded, and we proceeded to make out for what could have been a half hour. People passed by making cat calls, but we continued as if no one was there.
Things started to get hot. My hands were up his shirt feeling the chest I admired on the beach earlier that day. Finally, I put my hands down his pants and felt how much he was enjoying it. And he did the same. Me being 6’2″ and him being no taller than 5’6″, I picked him up and leaned back against the wall so I didn’t have to hunch over anymore. I was really enjoying myself. He was a great kisser and the wandering hands on both parties was rather pleasing. At one point, he pulled back and said, “But you have a boyfriend.” This didn’t stop me from going back in. Between kisses, I was able to utter, “He’s not my boyfriend, remember?” He was torn about the issue. He was obviously enjoying himself, but he didn’t want to get in the middle of a relationship.
After a while, I asked if he wanted to go somewhere more private. He pointed out we were both sharing rooms. I noticed the uneasiness on his face. I responded back, “I’m not trying to have sex with you. I’m not that easy. I just don’t want to stand here making out in public…” At this point, I could see his level of comfortability dropped significantly, so we went back to our separate rooms. I sent him a text explaining my enjoyment and my respect for him.
Stay tuned. The remainder of the trip will have to wait ’til Monday’s post.
Today is My Birthday!
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Uncategorized on May 12, 2011
Broadway Goes to Barcelona
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on May 11, 2011
Broadway is a huge fan of Kylie Minogue. In fact, that’s an understatement. Shortly after we started seeing each other he reintroduced me to her when he gave me her latest album. While a fan of a few of her songs, I would never venture to one of her concerts.
However, Broadway bought a ticket to see her in concert in Barcelona, Spain. Yes, Barcelona for a concert. He told me about this trip months in advace, but the closer to his departure, the odder I found this excursion. On top of that, we were drifting apart over the weeks leading up to this trip.
Over President’s Day weekend, we ventured to Rhinebeck, NY to stay at the Belvedere Mansion bed and breakfast. We needed to get away from the city bustle. But, for the first time in our relationship, we started getting snippy towards each other. While driving there, we argued about dinner plans. At dinner we didn’t talk much. It was almost awkward. The next day we went for lunch at Gigi Trattoria (amazing pizzas btw). He spent the entire meal taking pictures of me and other things in the restaurant and playing on his iPhone.
When we got back to the room that night, we opened the champagne and strawberries I brought in an attempt to be romantic. I was ill shortly before this trip and wasn’t quite over it, so I was having a hard time feeling romantic. We had our fill and went to bed, arguing about the sheets being tucked or untucked. He made no advances that night. I would have been a sport and tried to ignore my ailment, but the effort wasn’t necessary.
Looking back, I think that night is when I knew it was ending.
The clear sign came in mid-March while he was in Barcelona. The day he was flying out, we spent the morning together. While shopping at Bed Bath & Beyond, he purchased 2 small bottles of lube. We had used this during sex, but I found it strange he would be buying 2 the day before heading to another country… alone.
Before he left, I barely got a kiss from him. We chatted at lunch about the difficulty we would have being an ocean away but knew we would figure it out. And we said goodbye.
When I didn’t get a call from him before he took off, red flags started popping up in my head. I started talking to Boston online about my issues. He pointed out that I was raising a lot more red flags than mere coincidence. But when I received the following message on Facebook, I was livid:
– B
The following is our exchange on Facebook:
— Got your message yesterday. Have to say I was a little disappointed. Felt a bit like a mass message… Especially after not hearing from you since I said goodbye on the street Friday afternoon. (This was on Monday) I don’t doubt it’s tough without a phone. But I was also surprised not to get a call/text from the airport before taking off.
— I don’t know what to say
— Just think it’s a little odd when you’ve been dating someone for almost 10 months not to reach out before you’re about to leave the country for a week by yourself… and then when you finally do 2 days later, it’s just a rundown of what you’ve been doing followed by, “hope you are well.” Not sure if im being melodramatic, but i’m a little hurt to be honest… The content of your message was sterile.
— Yes I understand and maybe Facebook wasn’t the best way to contact you, but I wanted to let you know I was alright. I didn’t mean for it to be, but now that i look at it again you are right. I don’t know what else to say here…
We talked some more, I was very hurt and upset. It wasn’t that he messaged me on Facebook. It was what the message said. We were dating for almost 10 months, and it appeared that meant nothing to him.
I didn’t decide to break up with him immediately following our exchange. I wasn’t about to break up with someone across an ocean, especially when he was traveling alone. It just didn’t seem fair. But we certainly needed to have a discussion upon his return.
The only problem was, the week following Barcelona I was headed to Miami and the Florida Keys for almost a week. The discussion would have to wait…
A Broadway Christmas
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on May 10, 2011
Since I’m from Pennsylvania and Broadway’s from California, I went home for Christmas, and he stayed in the city. I was disappointed we weren’t spending Christmas together, but I wasn’t ready to bring him home and his work didn’t allow for time off. A few days before I went home, we spent a night in the city. We saw the decorated storefronts and the tree in Rockefeller Center, finally ending at the Plaza Hotel for a drink. This was the first time a man bought me a drink. I felt so special and so loved.
For weeks, he bugged me about what I wanted for Christmas, but I refused to tell him. I knew, without asking, the perfect gift for him, and I wasn’t going to give him an easy out. I really had no idea what he was going to bring to the table.
We celebrated Christmas at my apt the night before heading home. I handed him a rather sizable box. He handed me an envelope. He opened his first. The Sex in the City complete dvd collection (deluxe edition). He was ecstatic. He mentioned months ago how much he wanted it. He threw his arms around me and gave me a big kiss.
Inside my envelope was a card and 2 tickets. Weeks earlier, we discussed going to see Driving Miss Daisy on Broadway (with Vanessa Redgrave and James Earl Jones), but tickets were more expensive than I was willing to spend. I was so touched he remembered I wanted to see it and got us tickets.
Inside the card, he wrote about how much he enjoyed spending time with and getting to know me over the past few months. Also, we would have a night on the town with dinner, a show and topped off with sex. I couldn’t help myself. I started to cry. He was concerned, but I calmed his questioning look when I planted a big ol’ wet kiss on him.
We spoke on the phone Christmas Day even thought we couldn’t be together. Coming home from Christmas at my grandfather’s, my mother and I finally started talking about my homosexuality. We were talking about my sister’s relationship, when my mom finally said, “And are you still dating the same guy?” I told her how happy I was. Then we began talking about coming out to my extended family.
She asked if, how and when I planned to tell them. I told her it was irrelevant for the time being until I felt the need to bring someone home to meet them. At that point, I would probably send them an email. She asked if and how I would tell my grandfather. I explained how uncomfortable it may make him and how it could unnecessarily alter my relationship with him. I think my fear was also her fear. He’s from a different generation, and he may not understand. I could see she was relieved I wasn’t planning on breaking the news to him because she was worried about dealing with the fallout.
That year, I also spent New Year’s Eve with Broadway. I’ve had one good New Year’s to date, and I can’t even remember it because I was too drunk. It’s never been an exciting event for me. It’s a burden to plan for and a holiday I could do without, much like Valentine’s Day.
We planned a very nice night. We started at my friend’s apt in Hoboken. Following, we planned to go into the city to watch the ball drop at his cast mate’s apt. After that, we would meet up with his roommates and friends to close out the night at a bar near his place.
Plans changed, however, when we were unable to catch a bus after 45 minutes. The fear of passing midnight in the middle of the Lincoln Tunnel became very real. So we decided to head back to the party in Hoboken for a bit. When we got back, my good friend came up to me and said, “I’m so happy you came back. After you left, I was saying how I was disappointed I wasn’t spending New Years with you.” That was one of the sweetest things anyone’s ever said to me. I realized he truly was a good friend.
Everyone decided to go to the rooftop to watch the fireworks in the city and count down as the ball dropped. Broadway previously watched the ball drop every year, so he asked if we could stay in view of the TV. I didn’t care where we were, I was just happy to finally have someone to share New Year’s Eve with. After the ball dropped, we had our midnight kiss. I really felt at ease with him. I was thrilled with out relationship and never felt closer to anyone in my life. It was a New Years to remember.
After everyone came down from the roof (which apparently didn’t allow for any fireworks viewing) we decided to try our luck getting into the city. This time the bus came without much delay. At this point, we skipped the cast mate’s party and went straight to the bar to meet up with his close friends. We ended up at 9th Avenue Saloon and threw back a few more drinks before hopping in the photo booth for a photo shoot together.
We closed out the night with some New Years love making and then dozed off. For the first time, I truly had a happy holidays.
The Blindside
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on May 6, 2011
When I decided to come out to my close friends, there was one specifically that stood out among the rest. I struggled deciding whether or not to tell him. Back when we were teammates in college, my sexuality came into question on numerous occasions, often in public settings.
My team had the tradition of roasting everyone at the year-end banquet. The seniors addressed the team as a group, offering up gag gifts to individuals. Rarely did anyone’s feelings truly get hurt, but I specifically remember my gift freshmen year. It was a rainbow sticker and a small flashlight (so I could find my way out of the closet). I took the offense in stride and laughed it off because this occasion was meant to be in good fun. While he wasn’t the one roasting me on this occasion (it was his best friend and roommate), I feel he was somewhat a part of it.
On another occasion, he was giving me a ride home from a bar with 2 of my other teammates. When he stopped to drop me off, he ambushed me. I was about to get out of the van when he turned to me and started on this elaborate interrogation. I don’t remember exactly what he said, but at one point he flat out asked me if I was gay.
At the time, I was still in denial, so of course I said no. This wasn’t a satisfactory answer of course, so some more prodding ensued. Again I denied it. I said, “Have you ever seen me doing anything inappropriate with a dude? Have you ever seen me checking out a guy before? No. So why are you asking me this?”
Still not a satisfactory response. I denied it a third time before he finally let up. My two other teammates were both flabbergasted by his audacity, but also laughing along and complacent not saying anything while this went on. I don’t hold their silence against them. I probably would have done the same thing.
This occasion really stood out to me because I can recall how uncomfortable it made me. I couldn’t wait to get out of the van but also felt the need to stay and defend myself. I was worried that my silence would be taken as agreement of his view. He may have thought he was doing me a favor by getting it out there in the open, but I wasn’t ready. You can’t force anyone out of the closet. I hadn’t come to terms with my homosexuality myself, let alone anyone else.
Back to a few months ago, I was hosting my annual holiday party. He has attended for the past 4 years, and was extended an invitation again. However, there was one big issue this year. I invited Broadway to come.
Many of my friends already knew I was dating him, but most had not met him yet. His busy schedule never allowed for it. The few friends I invited who didn’t already know I was gay were told (including the other 2 guys who were in the van that night). All except 1.
I spoke to one of my teammates who was in the van that night about how I didn’t feel it was appropriate to share this part of my life with him in a positive light. He had shined such a negative light on the topic that I wanted to ambush him with the news much like he ambushed me years earlier. He told me I should do whatever I felt comfortable with when the time came to breaking the news.
In hindsight, this was very immature. Two wrongs don’t make a right.
The moment came when Broadway walked in, and my plan fell apart. I lost my nerve and asked a mutual friend to go tell him about Broadway, rather than walking up and introducing Broadway myself. He was already pretty drunk, so he never heard my friend tell him what was up. His wife, however, did. She decided it would be a good idea to leave before he made a scene.
The next morning it came up in conversation at their apartment. He finally caught on to the situation and called the other teammate from the van to tell him, only to realize I already had. That’s when he realized everyone else already knew, and he was the last to be clued in.
He called that day and asked if he could come over to talk. I knew this was going to be an uncomfortable situation, but I agreed. I immediately opened a bottle of wine and chugged some liquid courage. I wanted to be completely honest about the whole situation – no sugarcoating. I didn’t want to just play nice and tell him we were cool.
When he arrived, he asked why I never pulled him aside to tell him, when everyone else already knew. I described for him that night in the van and how uncomfortable it made me feel. I told him how this was something so positive in my life. Everyone was accepting me with open arms, and I didn’t want to taint that feeling with memories of how he made me feel.
I think this really hit close to home for him. I could see tears welling up in his eyes, and I got the most genuine of apologies. I really appreciated that. I was never mad at him. It never affected our friendship. We are still good friends. But because of that night, it excluded him from the close circle I developed when telling my friends I was gay. Now that we’ve gotten past our issues, that part of my life is something I feel comfortable sharing with him.
Finding a Friend in the Oddest of Places
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on May 5, 2011
The whole time I was dating Broadway, I was still cruising Manroulette. Many consider this cheating, but I don’t. We all have needs and urges. I was simply taking care of that. Call it cheating. Call it selfish. Call it what you will. But it worked for me. I was always present in the moment when I was with Broadway, but there were also many nights spent alone while he worked late.
I wasn’t going on there purely to get off either. I had one gay friend at this point. He was in a serious relationship, living with his boyfriend after coming out just two years before. I didn’t think we could relate on a lot of my issues/questions.
One October night on there, I came across a guy, Boston, who had a great smile. I immediately stopped “nexting” and tried very hard to engage him so he wouldn’t “next” me. We started off exchanging stats and location, but then dove deep into conversation.
It was very refreshing to have an intelligent conversation with someone on Manroulette. We never shared anything sexual/vulgar. We just talked about dating, coming out, jobs, school, etc. We really hit it off, and when the time came for me to go to bed, I asked how we could keep the conversation going. We exchanged email addresses since he didn’t have a Skype account at the time.
We kept in touch loosely over email before we moved the conversation to AIM. Shortly thereafter, we lost touch. Not sure what happened, but we didn’t really talk for about 3 months. Until I got a surprise email:
“Hey brah, how ya been? Just randomly checked my email and realized I haven’t talked to you in a while so just checkin’ in. Hit me up. I have a Skype now!”
We would video chat on Skype, telling him all my happy stories and all my sad stories. Although he is five years younger than me, he was already much wiser than me in the “gay arts.” He came out a few years earlier and helped me understand what I was going through. He is a excellent listener and gives very sound advice. He listened to me complain about my parents not opening up to my homosexuality and just told me to be patient. He went through the same thing just a few years earlier.
When things started to get a bit rocky for Broadway and I, he was really there for me. I was always willing to give Broadway the benefit of the doubt, but Boston told me when he thought I was being foolish. He pointed out when I should stop ignoring the signs. All this time, he never told me what to do, much like a therapist. He just helped me find the conclusions myself.
At some point we started talking about spring travel. Both of us were headed to South Beach, Miami, and our trips overlapped.
At this point, I said, “I hope I’m not being too forward, but would you want to grab a drink while we’re down there?” To which he replied, “Of course. Sure!”
We exchanged numbers, and when the trip was upon us, I suggested we figure out now where we could meet before we got down there. I gave him the address of my hotel.
Turned out we were staying at the same hotel, so it couldn’t have been easier. The rest of the trip is another story…
Over-Serviced at a Bn’B
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on May 4, 2011
When Broadway suggested we get away for a weekend, I was thrilled. He had a place in mind from the get-go — a bed and breakfast in New Hope, Pennsylvania. I grew up in PA and never heard of the town. It’s a quaint little gay-friendly town nestled on the banks of the Delaware River in the outskirts of Philly. I highly recommend checking it out, especially in the fall or around Christmas.
Until then, I had never stayed at a bn’b or had any burning desire to stay at one (nor did I ever have a companion). However, the idea of getting away for a few days with him sounded amazing! Our relationship was really taking shape, and I couldn’t have been happier with where things were going.
One crisp fall Monday afternoon, I borrowed a friend’s car, and we drove out to the country. For the next 2 days, it was going to be just the two of us. No distractions. I wasn’t even sure if I would have cell phone service.
We arrived at The Mansion Inn and checked in to our room. The manager of this establishment was nothing like what I would expect from a bn’b. He was a very handsome, muscular, masculine man who looked more like a wrestling coach than the manager of an inn.
The room we booked was located outside the main house. We decided a little more privacy would be ideal, so we booked the upstairs room of the carriage house. We were both hungry, so we dropped our bags and began exploring the small town.
We arrived around 3:00, and the town was pretty much shut down. Everywhere we went, we struck out. The kitchens were switching over to the dinner menu. So we meandered around, popping into shops and boutiques and taking pictures on/with a few of the local statues (one of which is a very large dinosaur).
Finally, we came across a pizzeria where we got something to hold us over until dinner. We took our food back to our room to eat in front of the fireplace. You’d be surprised, but pizza on the floor with pillows and a roaring fire can be very romantic. We enjoyed our food, but more importantly, we were really enjoying each other’s company.
Things got so romantic that we moved to the bed. We didn’t take the time to get into the bed as clothes were being flung off. Just after the heavy action ended and we were lying there naked. Him on top of me, I heard a noise at the door. I pick my head up and look over his shoulder to see the housekeeper keying into the door and turning the knob. I was so surprised that when I opened my mouth, nothing came out until the door opened. We both shouted “HELLO!” just as she picked her head up to catch a full glimpse of his bare ass. She quickly shouted back, “I’m so sorry,” and turned to run back down the stairs. We both just looked at each other and laughed hysterically; joking about how it was good she didn’t come in a few moments earlier or we could have asked her to join in.
The Landing Restaurant tucked away on the banks of the Delaware
After that, we showered and went out to dinner at The Landing. We had a very good meal paired with a nice bottle of wine and the sweetest waitress who offered to take a picture of the two of us.
We decided to go back to the bn’b for desert and to use our 2 free drink tickets before heading to bed. The manager was there playing bartender and gave us suggestions for desert. We got 3 and shared them.
We were not embarrassed by the events that took place earlier, but we were very curious how the bn’b would handle the situation. The housekeeper was walking around cleaning things up at the bar, never once making eye contact with either of us.
Finally the manager came over to us and offered 2 more free drinks tickets. “We have 2 other guests coming in late tonight who won’t be able to use their tickets. You’re more than welcome to use them if you like.”
I was a little annoyed because we knew why they were really giving us the tickets. I didn’t appreciate the elaborate story. Acknowledgement of the accident would have been more than ample.
After we finished our desert, we walked back to our room holding hands, slipped off our clothes and hopped into bed for the night.
The next morning we went for brunch and got back on the road to NY. This trip, to date, is the most romantic thing I’ve ever done with anyone, and I will remember it forever.
At the ripe age of 26, I came to a life changing conclusion. I'm GAY!
It took me 26 years to realize this and come to terms with it, but coming out's been the best decision of my life.
This blog is about my dating life in NYC and what happens next...
One Gay at a Time 