Archive for June, 2011
Finally Taking Boston Out for Steak Dinner
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on June 2, 2011
News flash: Started a new Twitter feed. Follow me @onegayatatime for up-to-date tweets about my gay dating life…
On with the show…
When the opportunity arose for me to accompany my company’s U.S.A. CEO on a speaking engagement at Boston College, I jumped at it. I would finally get to go visit Boston.
I reached out to him as soon as I heard about the possibility to see if he was available. I made arrangements to spend the night at his apartment if I was able to come up the night before the speech. I asked if I could crash on his couch. He told me how ungodly uncomfortable it was and offered to dust off his air mattress for me.
To be honest, in my head, I was considering the possibility of both options looking slightly old fashioned, and he would offer to share his bed with me. I certainly wasn’t expecting anything sexual to happen, but was not opposed to the idea of cuddling. In the meantime, I met San Francisco, and it became much more evidently clear Boston was not interested in a relationship.
The point of sleeping arrangements became moot when an overnight stay was necessary for me as far as the company was concerned. I booked a hotel room near his apartment and made arrangements to meet him after the speech for dinner. I was finally going to be able to make good on my offer to take him out to dinner, even if it was just as friends.
We met at my hotel and strolled along until we found a suitable restaurant. My CEO suggested Abe and Louie’s, so we ate there. We sat, and the conversation flowed like water downhill. We dove right in and got caught up on each other’s lives since we last saw each other in Miami. We had spoken online and on the phone, but there were more details to discuss.
I told him about the few dates I went on, the guys I was talking to on adam4adam.com, downloading Grindr, etc. He was a little surprised by my embracing of these social media as a way of finding suitable men. He told me about his dates and his love life. The whole time we talked, I was mesmerized by his smile and kept thinking how great his lips would feel again. I had to put the thought out of my head though. We were now good friends, I was interested in San Francisco and another long distance relationship should not be in my plans.
We stayed and chatted until we realized everyone else in the restaurant left. We both would have stayed there for another two hours if we could. When we walked back to my hotel, I probably should have invited him in since we both still wanted to chat longer. However, I had a 4:00am departure for the airport. I also wasn’t sure how he’d react to my inviting him in. Instead, we discussed him coming to New York to visit, we exchanged a nice hug and we went out separate ways.
Now, when I have a story to share with someone or just need to talk, I call Boston. Last time we were on the phone for almost an hour. He’s a great friend and couldn’t be more pleased to have him in my life.
I’m still looking forward to his visit to my neighborhood.
Chlamydia
Posted by One Gay at a Time in Gay Dating on June 1, 2011
This is the hardest blog entry for me to write because it reveals the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me, so I’m going to keep it short. Many of my closest friends do no know this, so I am sure I will get many lectures and comments after posting this. But in the honesty of my blog, I owe it to my readers to be completely forthcoming.

When I went to San Francisco, I had unprotected sex. THAT IS THE SINGLE DUMBEST THING I HAVE EVER DONE IN MY LIFE. Regardless of consequences, I will never allow myself to get into that situation again! I felt so comfortable with the man I met there, but how could I be so stupid. I even had a condom in my valet bag.
The day I got back to New Jersey, I went to the local hospital clinic and had an HIV test. Luckily, it came back negative. I was sweating bullets while I waited for the result. At the time I thought I walked away unscathed, but would later realize the consequences of my actions. On a side note, these days, you can get a free HIV cheek swab test at countless locations. There is NO excuse not to get tested regularly.
I also want to use my mistake as a teaching experience for others. I was under the impression you could only contract things like chlamydia if you were “receiving.” I was wrong. Even if you are the one “giving,” you can still contract an array of diseases you never even want to think about.
The problem came about when I noticed a slight burning during urination that eventually evolved into a discharge. I apologize for the graphic description, but again, I hope others can learn from this. I went to the doctor and was prescribed three different drugs and a urine and blood analysis. He topped it off with numerous lectures simply stated, “Always use a condom!” All of which I deserved. After a few days, time away from work to see the doctor, money for the prescriptions and a lot of stress, everything cleared up.
I tracked the contraction back to San Francisco. He was the only man I had sex with since breaking up with the guy I was dating. Since we were in a long-term relationship, we had unprotected sex, but the timing was nearly impossible for it to be Broadway. We were both tested regularly and had built up enough trust to make that step. San Francisco assured me he was recently tested as HIV negative and disease-free, but apparently, he was mistaken. We never discussed the infection. I’m not sure if he had symptoms on his end and would blame me, but he was, without a doubt, the source of my problem.
Do yourself a favor. Do your homework about the consequences of bothunprotected and protected sex, and ALWAYS USE A CONDOM!